I am a revert to Islam Alhamdullilah and I have been married to, based on your descriptions, a malignant narcissist. He also is from a prominent family in the community. No one would believe the “monster” I live with. I listened to your podcast explaining the generational flaws in upbringing that have resulted in so many narcissist in our community and how the patriarchal system has been seen as something bad due to all the oppression surrounding it. I was raised by a father who was a Christian convert. Although never learned or accepted Islam, he had fear of God that affected his daily actions. He believed in the patriarchy in a healthy sense and we were raised being told “there’s no patriarchy without the matriarchy”. Of course he meant this in a ‘Dad joke’ way, but the principal was intentional; and that is that remember where you came from as a man also, Allah swt created us in pairs. To compliment one another not for one to dominate over another. This is a huge misconception. In my marriage the main goal seems to be to dominate me. Also, from my experience, issues seem to get swept under the rug in the Muslim community. It seems as though people genuinely don’t know how to solve the problems they face or at least try to change their way of thinking. Understanding these generational issues has helped me a lot in processing this abusive situation I find myself in with a Muslim family who, as I say, are well esteemed in this Muslim society here in Toronto. If I did not understand these things, I would judge Islam based on people and not by what Allah says. I would find it near impossible to accept this religion if I followed it based on my observations with the people. I really appreciate your podcast so very much. I had an inkling on many of the things you’ve discussed in your podcast however I’ve really learned a lot from you and gained a much deeper understanding and it’s given me comfort and solace. Its also provided me with a lot more confidence in coming to some final decisions on my own. Reverting to Islam was a huge decision I made alone where it was very scary thinking I was going against my entire family/upbringing and so many people wiser then I am - the same goes for this next step with divorce. It is scary and for me there are a lot of traditional and cultural mindsets to break through. We are here to serve and honour Allah and that’s the end of it. Anything stopping you from this, has gotta go. Jazak Allah Khair Sister Mona 🤍
I am a revert to Islam Alhamdullilah and I have been married to, based on your descriptions, a malignant narcissist. He also is from a prominent family in the community. No one would believe the “monster” I live with. I listened to your podcast explaining the generational flaws in upbringing that have resulted in so many narcissist in our community and how the patriarchal system has been seen as something bad due to all the oppression surrounding it. I was raised by a father who was a Christian convert. Although never learned or accepted Islam, he had fear of God that affected his daily actions. He believed in the patriarchy in a healthy sense and we were raised being told “there’s no patriarchy without the matriarchy”. Of course he meant this in a ‘Dad joke’ way, but the principal was intentional; and that is that remember where you came from as a man also, Allah swt created us in pairs. To compliment one another not for one to dominate over another. This is a huge misconception. In my marriage the main goal seems to be to dominate me.
Also, from my experience, issues seem to get swept under the rug in the Muslim community. It seems as though people genuinely don’t know how to solve the problems they face or at least try to change their way of thinking. Understanding these generational issues has helped me a lot in processing this abusive situation I find myself in with a Muslim family who, as I say, are well esteemed in this Muslim society here in Toronto. If I did not understand these things, I would judge Islam based on people and not by what Allah says. I would find it near impossible to accept this religion if I followed it based on my observations with the people.
I really appreciate your podcast so very much. I had an inkling on many of the things you’ve discussed in your podcast however I’ve really learned a lot from you and gained a much deeper understanding and it’s given me comfort and solace. Its also provided me with a lot more confidence in coming to some final decisions on my own. Reverting to Islam was a huge decision I made alone where it was very scary thinking I was going against my entire family/upbringing and so many people wiser then I am - the same goes for this next step with divorce. It is scary and for me there are a lot of traditional and cultural mindsets to break through. We are here to serve and honour Allah and that’s the end of it. Anything stopping you from this, has gotta go.
Jazak Allah Khair Sister Mona 🤍