@@angry-lucky-catty yup! It's an unfortunate truth. We had a woman couples counselor and he didn't lift a finger to do any of the homework. We switch to a man and he immediately did what the counselor asked. 🤦♀️
I had a marriage counselor say "some people love like cacti and others love like orchids. You can't grow an orchid in a desert and that's okay. Doesn't mean the orchid is wrong. It just needs a rainforest."
Dang. Ok. I still think that orchids grow on other plants. If i see a plant growing on me i can either think it is a parasite or that i am a paradise for them. That is where it hinges😅
It takes a special kind of person to have the depth of feeling to show empathy for the abusers as much as for the abused. Recognizing that abusers are often victims of abuse first, showing compassion for their experience, but also holding them accountable for recognizing their role and responsibility to get help and heal, so that they can gain self-awareness and stop hurting others, shows an incredibly deep understanding of the human condition. Thank you, Jimmy, for being who you are and helping people like you do! We could use a lot more Jimmy's in this world.
It is a very difficult line to walk, takes incredible insight and self awareness to be able to navigate compassion while still not enabling the behavior. If they are manipulative, it is especially difficult to navigate those conversations because there is a whole lot of redirection and smoke screen going on with the manipulative person. Their motivations are almost never what they tell you it is, and sometimes it can be purely to cause other people pain or to control the situation. Personally, I'm not a professional but have been in abusive relationships. All of my abusers have been abused. I still hold compassion for them, but I cannot/could not navigate those conversations in a way that doesn't/didn't put me at risk of being incredibly hurt by them. That is true for a lot of people. I think it is easy to write people off as "bad" but rarely is human nature so black and white. A difficult lesson I had to learn is that compassion doesn't and will not fix them or help them realize the behaviors are harmful. Boundaries are the best chance someone has at reflecting on their behavior. And if they do not respect the boundary, then the boundary should be pushed out further. Sometimes that means that despite all the compassion in the world, no contact/breaking up/cutting someone off is the only course of action to take.
Spot on!! Most don’t realize the value of having someone (especially amidst being abused) able to have compassion for the abuser. It’s not spoken of enough. Compassion is a super power. Yes, it’s dangerous when it’s enabling…but it’s true strength when it’s employed as a bridge to healing. Compassion is the anecdote to toxic shame. Both for ourselves and others.
Yes, I just learned this the hard way! These videos have helped me a lot! Thank you for helping me see both sides! I'm an empathetic person but it was hard to see how this narcissist was hurting me but I do think that they are a wounded person, too! Now it seems obvious but I didn't see it before!
@Misty Love, love your post. It hit close to home for me on several levels. Working on my inner self, I'm able to send love and prayers out to abusers. They are hurting probably more than the abused. I send positive energy and love to them both.❤❤
@Hi_Im_Akward Absolutely!!! It takes self reflection to be aware of what role we played. It's a very hard pill to swallow. If I point the finger at someone for something, I'm pointing 3 back at myself. If someone strikes a nerve with me, I'm aware that's something I need to work on within. I'm a work in progress, but I'm enjoying the journey.❤❤
I married at 25 and divorced 21 years later. I was raised in a loving home, brought compassion and love into the relationship. You don't have to be a child from an abusive household to develop unhealthy communication skills. My EX started yelling in arguments shortly after we cohabitated, her being Latina I chalked it up to being warm blooded, she has passion. She became relentless in winning arguments so I figured I needed to fight fire with fire. 21 years of this and I became someone I unknowingly despised, now just a few years after divorce and I can see myself for who I was, Inner Child and Shadow Work has lead me to develop compassion for myself and love others accordingly.
Same, loving childhood, 4 loving amicable relationships prior. Suddenly I was in a deeply toxic abusive relationship. Every request no matter how valid she'd turn into a personal attack. Make herself a victim and me a villian. I ended up getting gaslit constantly from simply stating basic needs to the point I'd react. Then "ha! See you're abusive" It was living in twilight zone. She cheated on me and made it my fault. Now I'm having to heal my self value. But a year into healing and focusing on me, and my children. I've met a safe, emotionality mature woman who fingere crossed so far can be vulnerable and handles me being vulnerable beautifully.
I too became someone I didn't want to be in my marriage. It felt like I was responding to what my husband did and didn't do/say/be, but I didn't realise the impact on him of my choices. We both needed to change, and that didn't happen the way it needed to. We stuck it out for over 26 years, but it wasn't as good as it could have been, and I regret that now he's died
Excellent. How refreshing that a man is saying this. You will understand the male perspective. I love your humorous shorts as well. Point across with humour…spot on!
@@kitana3977It’s also possible to slow Jimmy down in Settings under “Speed”. Take it down to .75 and that’ll help. And No, it won’t make his voice sound weird.
I am absolutely from a couple with a reverse from typical roles. I am a woman with ADHD and he values consideration in small details and conscientious acts-definitely not my strong suit. We’ve had exactly these arguments, just opposite of the roles people would expect. It has been soul crushing to be critiqued as inconsiderate when I felt like I was going all out and had nothing left to give. Plus, the ADHD meant I had already been criticized in this precise way my entire life and had hoped my relationship would be different. We have slowly slowly pulled back from the brink. He’s realized that I’m not kidding about my abilities and that I literally can’t do some of what he’s asked for. I’ve learned to stop being so sensitive to correction in how I applied my effort and realized that listening will actually decrease the effort involved in trying to make him feel loved. This stuff is HARD. Believe your partner that they don’t feel considered. But also believe your partner when they say they are trying everything they can or that they may literally not have the ability you’re asking for. What if we just assumed most of us were normal people and not abnormally selfish or narcissists? Most of us ARE trying or simply don’t know how. Believing the best in each other is the single greatest thing in helping us out of the hole. Thanks for your descriptions and encouragement. It’s helping as we keep working to grow in our weaknesses.
Thank u! u made something click n my head that I hadn't ever considered or thought about before. Actually u made me see that he actually already tried to tell me. Something so crucial n he tried to tell me already. How could I have let it go over my head nissed it. I need to not only pay better attention but put myself in his shoes to attempt to recognized his position especially when he is trying to tell me. Perhaps that's what the whole empathy thing is about. U hit this one on the head there sister. Knocked it out of the park there for me n smack dab into my face like a ton of bricks. I frown at my shame but thank u for enlightening me. I tip my hat to u..thanks again
I 100% relate to this. It’s scary. My husband feels like he can’t trust me to manage things. I don’t feel like I can trust myself and it feels like he just keeps heaping enormous expectations on me that I always fail to meet. He reminds me of that and critiques me almost every day. It’s a cycle and we’re trying to fix it. We both feel alone and disconnected. I struggle with whether his expectations are realistic or not and he seems to think they’re totally reasonable and continues be baffled by me. It’s exhausting for both of us. We’ve been going to counseling for a while and talking about our issues together. I just hope someday he understands how much I love him and am trying. I’m crying writing this now. I hope someday I feel loved and valued instead of shamed and criticized. We weren’t always like this but we’ve been married five years and sometime recently we both realized we had been feeling this way more and more for some time. We’re both a bit shocked at how difficult we are and what we ended up with when we chose this relationship. It feels like we’re not the people we thought we were in the beginning and it’s awful. I really hope and pray we can come out stronger and more together. Anyway, I really appreciate you sharing the struggle of how ADHD affects your relationship. I hate how isolating it is to be a woman who struggles with a man who doesn’t. It feels like we’re the odd couple a lot and we need to find some sort of supportive community for this.
I think its fixable, but it is damn painful. I kept going because I knew he was not a bad man and we still had a friendship outside of the fights. Our friendship carried us through a lot for a long time. Get assessed if you can for ADHD or trauma (which can look like ADHD). I’m also trying the book “fair play” which is supposed to be helpful for chore management-though I haven’t gotten through it yet so I’m not sure how it will go. What’s honestly worked for us the most is me learning to validate his feelings, but to stop over promising. What he feels matters and I really truly can’t do it so I’m not going to say I can. Standards had to drop or we had to hire a maid. He’s gradually relaxed and I’ve worked to be a bit better but it has been so painful and required a lot of inner work to keep going and healing at a sustainable pace. I think more than anything you two need an outside perspective that can help adjust expectations, establish what’s realistic, and see what’s going on. Good luck! This is an ongoing work for us, and there has not been an end-but it has gotten lots better. I hope it does for you too. @@sarahs.9678
Your videos have shown me that I am reaching the point where I've done everything I can. I've worked on myself, read the books, done years of therapy, taken all the medications to dull the pain of isolation and loneliness, have given up friends, and suppressed key components of myself. After 13 years, I can finally say I've done enough. Thing is, now I'm broken down to the point where I am disabled and can't raise the kids alone. But it's soothing to know it wasn't from lack of effort.
@@JimmyonRelationships Thank you for reading and responding. Even small hits of validation from internet people feel like giant hugs. I'm aware of how disordered that is and am getting off of youtube to touch grass... er... snow.
I felt your pain reading this and I’m so very sorry you had to go through all of that. I relate to you in so many ways.. you are so strong, please don’t ever give up. Heal and love yourself, you need that love more than ever right now. 😥❤️
So so sorry you had to go through this 🥺 I experienced exactly the same for more than 2 decades, and it left me broken, physically and mentally… trying to put myself together again too … mental pain became physical pain, my body kept the score, and I believe yours did too. Keeping you in my prayers to recover from it somehow 🙏🍀🥺💔🤗
I can relate to this too! My mental and emotional pain became physical but after an ex boyfriend ran into me with his car on purpose and broke my hip! A month later, after my hip replacement surgery and my narcissistic sister evicted me from my mother's home where I was supposed to be able to stay to recuperate, I woke up and could not walk because I had a stress fracture of my sacrum from having to move so soon after my surgery! Despite this, I have allowed my ex to stay in my life to this day because he is older and pretty much by himself without family. Most people don't understand this and a detective wanted me to press charges and a lawyer wanted me to sue him and get at least $150,000! I told him I wouldn't do it unless he agreed to it and offered to give him half of it! I still wouldn't do it because I will get money some other way someday! My karma is good and that's what's important to me! What goes around comes around and he who is without sin can cast the first stone! I'm not perfect by any means! But I would definitely not hurt someone intentionally!
Youre a fucking HERO for making these videos that speak to everyone plainly, simply, and clearly. Youre not trying to sell anything more by teasing with only a hint of the real information Its rare and wonderful and very gallant. Thank you.
He does share amazing advice, 100%! Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with him being compensated for the great work he does for all of us. I would not be offended; in fact, I am looking forward to seeing some kind of course, coaching, or book soon.
Watching your videos has taught me that there is nothing more I can do. I need to walk away with love and understand that this is just over. I’m checked out and tired of pretending.
I don't focus on my relationship with my girl anymore. I am much more focused on just her and me and I've happily learned to prioritize the people, she and I, over the relationship. I'm much more focused on her health and happiness than our relationship's health or 'happiness'. Very happy now that we met 41 yrs ago.
Watched this video with my husband and He actually paid attention and listened to the whole thing! Then we Talked about our relationship’s strengths and areas to give more attention to!!! Thank You Jimmy!!🙌🏽
1. Safety, physical and emotional. Closeness and connection. Disrespect leads away from love. 3:43 Maturity means learning how to apologize, it means analizing our conflicts and trying to figure out where we can learn from them and grow. 3:50 Perfection isn’t the goal, growth is. Understanding and expressing your needs without blame or criticism. Learning to pause, not become defensive, interrupt or dismiss. Be curious about what they are feeling. 4:27 Neither is right. Feeling cronically neglected or feeling justified to criticise because we were neglected. 2. It takes both people. Their needs matter as my needs matter. If they dont listen and dont care. A thriving relationship is one where both partners care how the other feels. If one person doesnt care how the other feels hurt, alone or disconected, that relationship will always die. Because there is no trust. There is one thing we need get righr and it’s emotional responsiveness. Trust is confidence that they care, they are there, they care about what I need in order to feel loved and appreciated. When I reached out to him vulnerably, and I was rejected, invalidated and dismissed it created an emotional wound and I started to detach from him. 3. Consideration. No fear to be open about our inner world, where they won’t use your vulnerabilities against me. He didn’t consider me and I deserve better. Example of being vulnerable. 11:43 We showed love to each other in different ways. Felt disconnected. 4. Transparency. Secrets break relationship. He didn’t learn about what made me feel disconnected.
When our safety is threatened, our heart(s) close. As equal partners, relationships are a privilege that each person must use the healthy tools. Unfortunately I was unable to repair the damage and pain that I had caused. Here is to hope, trust and connection in an emotional intimate union.
Yeah, I like you. Not selling anything, just out there trying to help people be happier. I like you a lot. Unfortunately my SO doesn't seem to get it, but that doesn't change the fact that your videos cheer me up whenever the betrayal ptss is too bad. Thanks for being you, yo.
Mine doesn't get it either but these cheer me up to n gives me hope while I'm watching then kinda sink into this little depression state of why can't he be a little more like Jimmy. His wife has to be the luckiest wife in the world. He cheated on her but still if that's what would have to happen for SO to get it, we'll not proud to say it but I would do it in a heart beat..
That's not true at all. A man needs to be dominate in so many ways. Dominate is not the same as controlling. Nearly every woman wants a man to be dominate in the bedroom. She also wants him to be very dominate in emergencies. A masculine man, who genuinely loves his wife, is very dominate but not at all controlling. He wants his wife's full participation in most every endeavor. If you want a simp of a man, then you will NOT respect him.
There is a difference between telling someone what to do and asking something of them. One comes from fear, and the other comes from love. I'm so grateful for your videos and for sharing your experience.
Hm thinking about it I basically live in fear that if I do or don't do something, she will yell at me or get angry at me and tell me 10times that it annoys her so much that I did/didn't do that.. damn
Why have I never found a professional who could articulate this failed relationship paradigm as clearly, sensibly, and usefully as you have, Jimmy on Relationships!?❤ I owe you way more, by the way. I just want to hit this button real quick for you.
I really love your videos. I’m still in my teens and in my first relationship, but you’ve really helped me understand what to do and why things happen, especially with all the negative content I’ve seen out there.
Take this from someone older... Introduce your future partners to these videos because nobody knows what they don't know and nobody is taught how to behave in relationship dynamics and even fewer people know how to properly interact with other people. I hurt my wife terribly because of my past behavior and cannot repair the damage. I can only move forward and become better iteratively. Trust me, watch these videos with your partners and save yourself a world of hurt down the line. @jimmyonrelationships is awesome!
This is so great that you are seeking this out. I sure wish we had this kind of access when I was your age! I’m going to bet you’re going to have wonderful relationships with people. Well done. Very mature. ❤
This video makes me so sad because you spoke everything. I'm very hurt ..but he can't see ...he just cannot. He's just always right...I about give up...pray for us. It used to be so beautiful. 💔 I can't live to be emotionally abandoned all of the time...thank you Jimmy...it's been almost 6 years...I'm tired ..he doesn't really want this, I'm afraid of ...I'm so worn down...if he only spoke a few comforting words to me, it would be enough...but I get pushed away and abandoned in my deepest darkest trials ...completely. I'm too tired for this anymore. He doesn't want to fight for it so I see how little I may even mean to him...whoo...wow...and yes I've sent him many of your videos. Yes I've tried explaining to him for a few years now that just because I addressed something that bothers me doesn't mean it's an attack on him it means I want to resolve something. And in return I give him the same respect but it's a one-way road here. And it's his way.
I was in the same situation and I normalized it. 20 years. And this year I'm out. Moving out and getting divorced. Took me this long to learn I can't change anyone but myself.
Me 15 years. He is not a bad man, but she is so close minded and lack of communication is so real. I took the last week, we already talked and he seems very OK with this. We’re planning to celebrate in about four months and then divorce. Looking forward to not being hurt by abandonment or empathy towards my feelings
I'm feeling all this as well. I'm working on writing down the things I need to say, everything, and asking him to listen and not respond right away. I have always been the one to initiate conversation when things are strained, and it's always come down to its my fault and he has never admitted wrong or apologized. I know this comes from his childhood and how his dad was, but I will not accept it any more. I love him so much and I want us to be together for our son, but this is going to be it for me. Once I tell him how broken I am inside, he gets a day or so to figure out how he wants to proceed with our marriage. 💔
I’ve watched many of your videos. I’m recently widowed and trying to understand what I had in a beautiful and long (even if imperfect) marriage so I can move on and be successful. This particular video struck me especially because I sensed that over the years that you have been doing this, you have been growing and maturing in front of us. Congratulations on that. The desire to always strive for greater depth and understanding never finds an endpoint. It’s the journey, not the destination, that counts. Thank you.
@@JimmyonRelationships Hi Jimmy! Love your videos! I would love for you to make a video on a list of the books and authors you read to gain insight that helped you improve yourself and your relationship. I'm trying to do the same but I have no idea where to start. God bless! Ty.
It so good to see men talking about such deep and beautiful things. I have never seen men be so thoughtful. Here in India men think their only job is to provide financially n wife should be thankful for this and rest is wife's headache, their best policy don't ask anything or hear anything, they don't want to be bothered and stay happy in their own world.😢
Please don't make this much heavy generalization mam! This used to happen in the past for sure but things have changed a lot in this regard and this generation is surely better than the previous generation. I would request you to rather educate your kids( if u have any) especially son in this regard as sons are closest to their mothers.
True, I have a lovely son and hopefully he'll be an empathetic person, I guess newer generation is better in that sense, am talking after seeing men in our family and society, n don't think I come from rural place or so, am a pediatrician living in a metro n am not saying men here are bad or abusive, infact they are more faithful then other countries. Men here though well educated and on good position have very low emotional quotient, they feel it's embarrassing to talk about emotions. I have a good husband, but its like living a lonely marriage.
@@snehalvernekar5374 You know what as I rightly mentioned it's the mother who mainly shapes the child(in Indian society). So, if mothers like you would start educating their children about how emotions don't equate to weakness,they don't always have to put the mask of toughness on, they can show their emotions atleast to the women in their lives etc., a lot of things will start improving. Consequently, we might see some amazing fathers who are empathetic towards their children, who can tell them that they'll always be there for them. So, everyone has to do one's bit to move towards a better society. Even though I wasn't raised that way but here is my bit of work towards that society, I promise I'll try to be a cool dad.
@@Yuv3892 I think you’re invalidating her feelings and placing the blame into the mothers that are racing those kids. They learn from the father’s behavior as well.
Jimmy, you would do great at creating a study guide or curriculum to go along with this video. There are many topics you touched on that could be it's own chapter in a study guide book. Hopefully your work will expand. You are really good at this.
@@JimmyonRelationshipsthat's so correct!!! Consider taking that nursing profession and carrying it into counseling. You're amazing with a definite "talent/calling" to help others. Thank you for all you do.
I learned that not taking accountability for one’s part in the relationship dynamics is a form of emotional abuse and will not allow that for myself or in my partner. Another good video Jimmy!
Hello! Currently single person here! I found you through the short and i just want to say, thanks for all you do here! I can already see the results with family and friends, i believe that me finding you now will help me when i am in a relationship. I don’t know if anyone else is here like me. But i hope that they might see results watching you
thank you for making the content you do, jimmy. i found your channel when i was at my lowest in terms of emotional maturity and regulation, suffering from multiple anxiety disorders, and you motivated me to be hard on myself and get rid of my anxious attachment tendencies, and finally talk to my therapist about treating my anxiety issues and be a better communicator. your talent as a motivational speaker is something to be very, very proud of.
I’ve tried showing my husband Jimmy’s videos, especially the ones about fighting, invalidating, narcissism, helping with chores, etc videos. I’m not great with communicating and all our years married I’ve never learned to properly voice or speak to my husband in a way he would listen and understand. Finding these videos opened an aha moment and it made me feel so happy that I found this guy who was able to say exactly what I’ve always wanted to explain to my husband and I sent him a few of these videos thinking maybe my husband will listen to this male and get finally what I’ve been trying to tell him and then later I asked him if he got anything out of them and he said no. Then he says why couldn’t I just tell him what these videos are saying, and I told him that all my life I’ve tried to tell him but he never listens and understands and these videos explain clearly what I’ve been trying to tell him. But he doesn’t get anything out of them. I’m not perfect, I’ve caused damage in our marriage relationship, but I’m trying to fight for it. I feel like the only one wanting to change. And honestly I’ve thought for a really long time about separation, not divorce, but give time away from each other. But it’s hard bc we have children and I don’t want to damage my kids. Sometimes I wonder if my husband is narcissistic but then sometimes I wonder if I am when I read the characteristics of one and I check the boxes, not all of them but most. I don’t know, I’m trying to change, I don’t want our marriage to end but sometimes I feel that it’s already there, I’m just hoping a little bit longer.
I feel this other than the children part because ours is grown and gone. And we have been married for 38 yrs. So confused and torn on what to do with life. Feeling numb inside from it all.
Maybe you could be codependent. Here is a recovery workbook to find out and help with healing: spiritofliferecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Coda-Workbook-on-PDF.pdf
Just know, my parents stayed together and they ruined relationships for my brother and I. It would have been far better if they'd divorced. You need to both want to make it work, or it's over.
@@sheriturner6118I found out about narcissism and divorced my husband after 32 years. Worked so hard on my marriage and nothing worked. Now I know the whole marriage was destined for failure from the beginning because a narcissist just manipulates and never truly loves. It’s been heartbreaking but I’m healing. I was never more lonely than when I was in the marriage. My kids are also adults. One took it well because she understood my husbands narcissism years before I did. My other adult child finally got the attention he always wanted from his dad. He believed the lies his dad told him during the divorce while I didn’t share anything with my kids (I wasn’t supposed to confide in my kids about their dad) but he has come around. He now sees his father and has put boundaries on him while we’ve grown closer. Best to you! ❤
Goodness. You gave me the feels at the 12-minute mark. I imagined it was my common-law husband speaking like that to me. If he spoke so open like that, I would move mountains for him. But it's the opposite, and my relationship plant is slowly dying.
I have to say, I've taken all of your advice, utilized the tools you provide on your skits. It's amazing what a change on our home. So bright and hopeful. Even if I do end up divorced we will split amicably and as a parent team. Thank you from my ❤.
I absolutely love what you had to say about safety. What a respectful, wise and beautiful way to talk to people who have been less than safe in relationships. It's like you were gently speaking directly to my past boyfriend and me. Blew my mind.
You did an exemplary job here, Jimmy! I find all your videos very good and clearly a decent amount of thinking and effort are expended on them. However, this one in particular, I think, is the cream of all your work here on YT! You made some really good and balanced points, especially towards the end of the video. One such point that I have been telling myself during the 30 years of my marriage, when everything seems to fail, is that I should continue to do well and strive to do my best not to lose control of myself and actions, irrespective of how bad the other person is acting towards me, so that at least if and when I leave the relationship I won't have feelings of guilt or regret. Not to mention that we are accountable by God and so we should get our act straight. I do this in all relationships, by the way, not just with 'emotional partners' (i.e. the husband, since I am a believer and follower of God). Thank you again for such a focused and quality video. May Allah bless your work, marriage and all other aspects of your life. May you continue to benefit and save relationships.
Jimmy you're young enough to get your degree in counciling. I feel you are extremely good at this and better than most councilors out there. You have a gift. 😊
Just asked the wife what she needs and she gave me the most enlightening response. Prompted a deeper and open conversation regarding areas I need to improve on and I felt no defensiveness this time. Thank you sir. 🥲
Thanks Jimmy Sure appreciate all you do. My relationship is doing so much better being aware of these things you show us. Im praying for you too Brother.
26 years of 2 traumatized persons, of course both what was learned from childhood. Both of us found you, and we are both now taking responsibility for healing and repair. Here is the thing that is interesting of two impaired people is the attraction type of this unity, its still a pay off that matches the level of each protection modes, at times not knowing we are broken and surviving a marriage instead of having a deep relationship, always wondering and hurting, not knowing why. Your videos have brought to light how we can heal together. Has shown us each our part in the damages we done. Both of us here are learning to communicate with understanding, patience, empathy. Recovery and feeling less stressed or fearful is starting to develop for us. We are thankful to your videos.
Justifying lashing back because we feel attacked. I have done this so so many times. You’re right, it’s immature, unhelpful and only aids the destruction of the relationship. Thank you for pointing this out. You’re videos are so helpful.
Jimmy I just wanted to thank you. Your videos have made such a huge positive impact on my marriage with my husband. The way you take the role of both men and women and give a voice and validation to both partners perspectives has saved my marriage. My husband and I started sending each other your videos to explain our feelings when we lacked the skills to do so and now I catch my husband actively using the skills you show in your videos and i see myself catching my disregulation and challenging behaviours and patterns before they escalate. I go out of my way now to communicate when in the past I gave up because I felt couldn't do it anymore. I feel safe to share my feelings with my husband and we have grown our 15 year relationship into a stable, loving marriage. I feel so much more connected to my husband than I ever have and I see so much change in him. Thank you ❤
It's not just the heart break that's been so difficult these past several months... but also realizing MY PART in everything and how much better I could've and should've been. It had been so long and I was so in love so fast... I just didn't know so much. Your videos have been very helpful 🫶
My partner is a flip flopper I Leave than the texts start I now know what I'm doing and how it affects you. It will be different I go back and it's so much worse. I'm gone again and I'm getting the same texts I won't yell anymore etc. such a vicious circle. Narcissist no doubt. 😕😕😕
@Ratgirl2 it can be a circle. It can be vicious but people can and do change for the better. I had a great deal of trouble regulating my emotions and because I had been single for many years, I never had to learn. I have grown and improved in every way possible and I did it for myself and love. As far as communication... There's nothing left for me to do. I don't wanna bother anyone, I will not beg ever again and I have to accept she no longer wants to see me or talk. It does not feel good. I would ask that everyone learn to enjoy the moment. Learn to appreciate what you have. 💙
@@TommyLomeo_movement_33 It's three times I've left listened to the things I've been told come back and the attitude and temper have gotten worse. Everything I say triggers this person. I can't deal with it anymore my health is at risk it's egg shells and land mines. And it's all my fault. I have to escape self care is my goal now.
@Ratgirl2 I am very sorry to hear that. It really saddens me to hear when 2 people in love lose each other. I have learned that it wasn't her that triggered me. It was my insecurities and fears that were triggered. Calling and texting all the time... Done. Waiting to respond and incorporating understanding and empathy into my responses and reactions... Done AND trying. Social media and my Narcissistic need for attention and validation... gone. There is so much more, but I blamed everything on her and everyone else instead of looking at the REAL problem... Me. I had an incredible smart wonderful woman that just wanted to be happy, hangout and have fun... TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. That wasn't good enough because my fear of losing her controlled my immature, at times narcissistic behavior. Realizing these things have allowed a 'reset' within me and that has turned the focus on MY issues and behavior. That's the way to have a future with someone you have struggled with. I debated on even commenting because even that can be an issue for me. Being more private and no longer discussing specific events on a public app is not a good thing to have a habit of. I hope you find yourself and your happiness. I hope for everyone when it comes to love because it's such an easy thing to happen sometimes but so difficult to keep alive and growing. Best wishes 💙
If I would’ve seen this months ago my relationship wouldn’t be on the line. Thank you for your words I’ll internalized this information and I hope that we can get back to where we once were.
I really appreciate that you are empathetic to people who can be scary and aggressive. I am someone who needed really firm boundaries held with me, that helped me grow a lot out of just lashing out and being nasty and violent any time someone hurt my feelings. I am really grateful to everyone in my life who was brave enough to walk away from me when my behavior was unacceptable--I couldn't have stopped if no one ever held me accountable. But I needed compassion too and I often didn't get it.
Thank you❤ I cried watching this....I have been abused for 10years...and just got out...I'm focusing on me now before i date again...I loveyour work. Tha k you
They should show this video in high schools - it is hands-down the best relationship advice I’ve ever heard. Your fun videos are also a wonderful way for people to share your advice with friends who they might normally be hesitant to approach, but want to help. You’re a gifted therapist! ❤
Your videos helped me express my feelings and helped my hubby learn to empathise and validate instead of applying logic to my emotion. Yikes the walls that had gone up. 😬 Thanks again Jimmy. A MILLION TIMES ❤
I started to ask all these question and set my boundaries right before finding your canal and you help me put thoughts into words and I send your work to all my sisters so that they can have a healthier relationship with there partners ❤ thank you
Although an agreed upon and mutual power dynamic can be mutually fulfilling too when it's done with the same trust and respect he's speaking of where both partners are valued and appreciated for what they bring to the relationship.
I just broke up with a man I love, he hit all these markers for the things that make a relationship fail. I hit a couple myself but he just couldn’t be honest with me, he was dismissive and I eventually had to let go. I tried so hard to get him to be honest with me but he was so evasive and ambiguous. I need more security than he could offer. I should have known really, he was 48 years old, never been married, had kids or lived with anyone. He doesn’t know how to consider another person. This video gives me strength to see it for what it really was.
Thank you! I've just finished my relationship because of her cheating. And your channel is the thing I so needed!! Unfortunately I found it only now, but I am really grateful to find it at all and I am really thankful for all the job u are doing here. Thank you!
Unfortunately it is not looking like I can save the relationship I had as well as probably there are no chances to build a new one with that person. We have so much behind us.... w@r in Ukraine, moving to Canada etc... But at least I have the chance and hope to build something beautiful in the future.
Jimmy, I watch your videos because you have such great insight and you share it clearly. I believe you speak from experience, and that is great because you share vulnerability and you share your outcomes. My partner of 39 yrs died before I discovered your videos. We mostly lived a tolerated relationship with each other. I grasp trying to find memories that exhibited love. I'm hopeful that you continue to reach couples so their relationships prosper in love. Bless you.
Your videos are incredible. Ive been watching you for a while, then of course my therapist sends me a link to your channel as well haha. Officially recommended! My relationship is finally righting itself, now to figure out if its too late. So much has been lost over the years.
Your video hit the nail square on. 31 years of being together, and recently, I've discovered trauma in my childhood. Suddenly, this man I live with is completely stranger. But your advice has brought hope for the future and tears to my eyes. Thank you for the many videos you have posted,and I have watched them. Not least the funny, pertinent ones with the wig. You are very much appreciated for your help and wisdom. Thank you, Jonathan
Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share what you have learned. I appreciate your use of seriousness and humor! You are reaching a wider audience by showing that you are a real person.
Thank you for your videos! I cannot even explain to you how much they have helped my marriage move from being completely broken to potentially better than before. We are still working through our problems, but we refer back to your videos when we are trying to convey a solution. I cannot tell you how grateful we are to you!
Woke up, got coffee and listened to your voice & priceless information. Headed to first visit to marriage counselor & now have words to describe my withering 🌱 plant problem! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Jimmy, in my 30 years (counting as of 15) of trial/error relationships, whether with my significant others, children, friends, or relatives, this video, this information, is truly from The Most High. You’ve helped me understand the importance of my feelings but more so, understand how much more important it is how I make others feel. I lost my way, many, many years ago…I did not realize I had become “cold hearted.” I was only protecting myself…so I reasoned. But this information, wow…I have no words. I’ll be rewatching as many times as needed to make a difference in myself for the sake of my marriage. Thank you!!!
Thank you for this video. I am actively doing my best as I am the one with the outburst due to emotion. I will keep on listening to these words and do my best to be a better me. It is very easy to blame the other person , however I refuse to do that anymore. I need a better me in order to be a greater person to all around me
here I am listening to your Video as I clean my Room after a fight with my Partner. We're long distance and I've been able to come live with him for a few Months, and suddenly we're from "I miss you" messages everyday, to him disregarding me more than often to play Videogames with his friends for hours.. and when you said "If your Partner gives you the alone time you need, reassure them when you'll be back, plan a date night" I couldn't help but tear up.. you've basically put how I'm feeling into words yet again and I hope that by showing him this Video we can move past this and improve our Relationship.
When you speak 🗣️ i feel like this is everything i tried to create in relationship with all avoidance because I simply wanted to love them, but u can't be the only one in the relationship. It's so refreshing to hear, you put how I've felt put into words, it heals me to hear it and not feel so alien in this world
When many people’s relationships end that’s it. Sometimes they learn from their mistakes, sometimes they don’t. You’ve taken the chance not only to learn, but to apply your knowledge to help others in similar situations. I’ve learned so much for your videos. Thank you
You are a precious Godsend. Thank you. I watched this in it's entirety, and realized that I don't want to save the relationship I'm in. It's been 21 years of absolute hell. I am preparing myself to leave.
Thank you Jimmy for the closing comment that you’re hoping & praying ... thanks .. i’ve created 2 playlists to go over with my partner & this one is a “definitely”
A big thing that has been an issue is people pleasing behavior. Aka fawning. I am pretty familiar with this trauma response, not saying im perfect at it. But i try to put down boundaries and be honest about how I feel, update people when Im not meeting expectations like I thought I could etc. They do not lay down boundaries, or voice their needs or wants and do a knee jerk people pleasing response. It leads to over promising, and frustration on their part feeling like no one values their needs. But there are times where there is no way of me knowing what their needs are when they have actively been saying the opposite. It has led me to feel like I can't trust what they say in certain contexts. I can't trust them to be reliable when they say they will do something. Even though the source of this is insecurity, people pleasing and best intentions, it is hurtful, not only to themselves because they are not advocating for themselves, but hurtful to others when they fail to meet the expectations they promised and then didn't communicate an update that they couldn't follow through and end up either not showing up or situations where something isn't done to the full expectation (like being 4 hours late to something for example). Not looking for advice, but contributing to the conversation of how trust is lost. Its not always about lying, its about a lack of honesty and transparency. If they said "Im struggling I need more time" or "hey I know I said id do this but turns out I over promised", it would go a long way for me, but instead its a constant issue of them forgetting or being late or telling me several hours too late that something changed. It has also led to several occasions where they explode with feelings about how their wants and needs aren't respect, yet its the first time im hearing about it. And the expectation is for people to stop asking but the reality is they need to start saying no.
I really appreciate this video, thanks Jimmy! I think I really have been justifying my own behavior based on past events . The things you say really help me want to grow up and do better more than focus on what others are doing wrong. I think your getting through to me, thanks again!
I appreciate your videos. I am the one in the relationship who is not very good at communicating but at same time it is hard when my husband is angry with me. My marriage is important to me and I will try my best to communicate showing him he matters to me and our marriage matters. Thank you for sharing
I showed some of your shorts to my partner yesterday and it actually seemed to get through to him! Thank you for translating relationships!
That means a lot!!
I always show these to my husband. We realize that we’re all not alone and we all need help.
It’s immeasurably helpful to have it delivered by a man. A lot of men simply won’t listen to a woman “telling them what to do.”
@@angry-lucky-catty honestly that’s anyone.
@@angry-lucky-catty yup! It's an unfortunate truth. We had a woman couples counselor and he didn't lift a finger to do any of the homework. We switch to a man and he immediately did what the counselor asked. 🤦♀️
“Some plants need a little bit of water, some plants live in water,” Makes me feel really validated.
Holy wow.
I had a marriage counselor say "some people love like cacti and others love like orchids. You can't grow an orchid in a desert and that's okay. Doesn't mean the orchid is wrong. It just needs a rainforest."
Dang.
Ok. I still think that orchids grow on other plants.
If i see a plant growing on me i can either think it is a parasite or that i am a paradise for them.
That is where it hinges😅
@@AurelienCarnoyAnd this is where the analogy breaks down…
1. Caring listening
2. Caring understanding
It takes a special kind of person to have the depth of feeling to show empathy for the abusers as much as for the abused. Recognizing that abusers are often victims of abuse first, showing compassion for their experience, but also holding them accountable for recognizing their role and responsibility to get help and heal, so that they can gain self-awareness and stop hurting others, shows an incredibly deep understanding of the human condition.
Thank you, Jimmy, for being who you are and helping people like you do! We could use a lot more Jimmy's in this world.
It is a very difficult line to walk, takes incredible insight and self awareness to be able to navigate compassion while still not enabling the behavior. If they are manipulative, it is especially difficult to navigate those conversations because there is a whole lot of redirection and smoke screen going on with the manipulative person. Their motivations are almost never what they tell you it is, and sometimes it can be purely to cause other people pain or to control the situation.
Personally, I'm not a professional but have been in abusive relationships. All of my abusers have been abused. I still hold compassion for them, but I cannot/could not navigate those conversations in a way that doesn't/didn't put me at risk of being incredibly hurt by them. That is true for a lot of people.
I think it is easy to write people off as "bad" but rarely is human nature so black and white. A difficult lesson I had to learn is that compassion doesn't and will not fix them or help them realize the behaviors are harmful. Boundaries are the best chance someone has at reflecting on their behavior. And if they do not respect the boundary, then the boundary should be pushed out further. Sometimes that means that despite all the compassion in the world, no contact/breaking up/cutting someone off is the only course of action to take.
Spot on!! Most don’t realize the value of having someone (especially amidst being abused) able to have compassion for the abuser. It’s not spoken of enough. Compassion is a super power. Yes, it’s dangerous when it’s enabling…but it’s true strength when it’s employed as a bridge to healing. Compassion is the anecdote to toxic shame. Both for ourselves and others.
Yes, I just learned this the hard way! These videos have helped me a lot! Thank you for helping me see both sides! I'm an empathetic person but it was hard to see how this narcissist was hurting me but I do think that they are a wounded person, too! Now it seems obvious but I didn't see it before!
@Misty Love, love your post. It hit close to home for me on several levels. Working on my inner self, I'm able to send love and prayers out to abusers. They are hurting probably more than the abused. I send positive energy and love to them both.❤❤
@Hi_Im_Akward Absolutely!!! It takes self reflection to be aware of what role we played. It's a very hard pill to swallow. If I point the finger at someone for something, I'm pointing 3 back at myself. If someone strikes a nerve with me, I'm aware that's something I need to work on within. I'm a work in progress, but I'm enjoying the journey.❤❤
Trust requires consistency. ✅
I married at 25 and divorced 21 years later. I was raised in a loving home, brought compassion and love into the relationship. You don't have to be a child from an abusive household to develop unhealthy communication skills. My EX started yelling in arguments shortly after we cohabitated, her being Latina I chalked it up to being warm blooded, she has passion. She became relentless in winning arguments so I figured I needed to fight fire with fire. 21 years of this and I became someone I unknowingly despised, now just a few years after divorce and I can see myself for who I was, Inner Child and Shadow Work has lead me to develop compassion for myself and love others accordingly.
Same, loving childhood, 4 loving amicable relationships prior. Suddenly I was in a deeply toxic abusive relationship. Every request no matter how valid she'd turn into a personal attack. Make herself a victim and me a villian. I ended up getting gaslit constantly from simply stating basic needs to the point I'd react. Then "ha! See you're abusive"
It was living in twilight zone. She cheated on me and made it my fault.
Now I'm having to heal my self value. But a year into healing and focusing on me, and my children. I've met a safe, emotionality mature woman who fingere crossed so far can be vulnerable and handles me being vulnerable beautifully.
I too became someone I didn't want to be in my marriage. It felt like I was responding to what my husband did and didn't do/say/be, but I didn't realise the impact on him of my choices. We both needed to change, and that didn't happen the way it needed to. We stuck it out for over 26 years, but it wasn't as good as it could have been, and I regret that now he's died
Excellent. How refreshing that a man is saying this. You will understand the male perspective. I love your humorous shorts as well. Point across with humour…spot on!
I really appreciate that!
Women aren’t any better than men in any department
Ya, especially the ones where he’s in drag. Wish we could sometimes hear from his wife.
You are the Mr. Rodgers of relationships for adults.
Yes!! 😂
Please just speak a little bit slower. Thank you @@JimmyonRelationships
@@JimmyonRelationshipswill you start coaching
@@kitana3977It’s also possible to slow Jimmy down in Settings under “Speed”. Take it down to .75 and that’ll help. And No, it won’t make his voice sound weird.
This is the perfect description for him and his messages. Spot on!! 💗👍
I am absolutely from a couple with a reverse from typical roles. I am a woman with ADHD and he values consideration in small details and conscientious acts-definitely not my strong suit. We’ve had exactly these arguments, just opposite of the roles people would expect. It has been soul crushing to be critiqued as inconsiderate when I felt like I was going all out and had nothing left to give. Plus, the ADHD meant I had already been criticized in this precise way my entire life and had hoped my relationship would be different.
We have slowly slowly pulled back from the brink. He’s realized that I’m not kidding about my abilities and that I literally can’t do some of what he’s asked for. I’ve learned to stop being so sensitive to correction in how I applied my effort and realized that listening will actually decrease the effort involved in trying to make him feel loved. This stuff is HARD. Believe your partner that they don’t feel considered. But also believe your partner when they say they are trying everything they can or that they may literally not have the ability you’re asking for. What if we just assumed most of us were normal people and not abnormally selfish or narcissists? Most of us ARE trying or simply don’t know how.
Believing the best in each other is the single greatest thing in helping us out of the hole. Thanks for your descriptions and encouragement. It’s helping as we keep working to grow in our weaknesses.
Love this! (I struggled with some of this too.)
Thank u! u made something click n my head that I hadn't ever considered or thought about before. Actually u made me see that he actually already tried to tell me. Something so crucial n he tried to tell me already. How could I have let it go over my head nissed it. I need to not only pay better attention but put myself in his shoes to attempt to recognized his position especially when he is trying to tell me. Perhaps that's what the whole empathy thing is about. U hit this one on the head there sister. Knocked it out of the park there for me n smack dab into my face like a ton of bricks. I frown at my shame but thank u for enlightening me. I tip my hat to u..thanks again
Always try to put yourself in the other person's shoes! This is the best way to see where they're coming from, in my experience!
I 100% relate to this. It’s scary. My husband feels like he can’t trust me to manage things. I don’t feel like I can trust myself and it feels like he just keeps heaping enormous expectations on me that I always fail to meet. He reminds me of that and critiques me almost every day. It’s a cycle and we’re trying to fix it. We both feel alone and disconnected. I struggle with whether his expectations are realistic or not and he seems to think they’re totally reasonable and continues be baffled by me. It’s exhausting for both of us. We’ve been going to counseling for a while and talking about our issues together. I just hope someday he understands how much I love him and am trying. I’m crying writing this now. I hope someday I feel loved and valued instead of shamed and criticized. We weren’t always like this but we’ve been married five years and sometime recently we both realized we had been feeling this way more and more for some time. We’re both a bit shocked at how difficult we are and what we ended up with when we chose this relationship. It feels like we’re not the people we thought we were in the beginning and it’s awful. I really hope and pray we can come out stronger and more together. Anyway, I really appreciate you sharing the struggle of how ADHD affects your relationship. I hate how isolating it is to be a woman who struggles with a man who doesn’t. It feels like we’re the odd couple a lot and we need to find some sort of supportive community for this.
I think its fixable, but it is damn painful. I kept going because I knew he was not a bad man and we still had a friendship outside of the fights. Our friendship carried us through a lot for a long time. Get assessed if you can for ADHD or trauma (which can look like ADHD). I’m also trying the book “fair play” which is supposed to be helpful for chore management-though I haven’t gotten through it yet so I’m not sure how it will go. What’s honestly worked for us the most is me learning to validate his feelings, but to stop over promising. What he feels matters and I really truly can’t do it so I’m not going to say I can. Standards had to drop or we had to hire a maid. He’s gradually relaxed and I’ve worked to be a bit better but it has been so painful and required a lot of inner work to keep going and healing at a sustainable pace. I think more than anything you two need an outside perspective that can help adjust expectations, establish what’s realistic, and see what’s going on. Good luck!
This is an ongoing work for us, and there has not been an end-but it has gotten lots better. I hope it does for you too. @@sarahs.9678
Your videos have shown me that I am reaching the point where I've done everything I can. I've worked on myself, read the books, done years of therapy, taken all the medications to dull the pain of isolation and loneliness, have given up friends, and suppressed key components of myself. After 13 years, I can finally say I've done enough. Thing is, now I'm broken down to the point where I am disabled and can't raise the kids alone. But it's soothing to know it wasn't from lack of effort.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through Jessica :(
@@JimmyonRelationships Thank you for reading and responding. Even small hits of validation from internet people feel like giant hugs. I'm aware of how disordered that is and am getting off of youtube to touch grass... er... snow.
I felt your pain reading this and I’m so very sorry you had to go through all of that. I relate to you in so many ways.. you are so strong, please don’t ever give up. Heal and love yourself, you need that love more than ever right now. 😥❤️
So so sorry you had to go through this 🥺
I experienced exactly the same for more than 2 decades, and it left me broken, physically and mentally… trying to put myself together again too … mental pain became physical pain, my body kept the score, and I believe yours did too. Keeping you in my prayers to recover from it somehow 🙏🍀🥺💔🤗
I can relate to this too! My mental and emotional pain became physical but after an ex boyfriend ran into me with his car on purpose and broke my hip! A month later, after my hip replacement surgery and my narcissistic sister evicted me from my mother's home where I was supposed to be able to stay to recuperate, I woke up and could not walk because I had a stress fracture of my sacrum from having to move so soon after my surgery! Despite this, I have allowed my ex to stay in my life to this day because he is older and pretty much by himself without family. Most people don't understand this and a detective wanted me to press charges and a lawyer wanted me to sue him and get at least $150,000! I told him I wouldn't do it unless he agreed to it and offered to give him half of it! I still wouldn't do it because I will get money some other way someday! My karma is good and that's what's important to me! What goes around comes around and he who is without sin can cast the first stone! I'm not perfect by any means! But I would definitely not hurt someone intentionally!
Youre a fucking HERO for making these videos that speak to everyone plainly, simply, and clearly.
Youre not trying to sell anything more by teasing with only a hint of the real information
Its rare and wonderful and very gallant. Thank you.
You win for nicest comment 🥹
"Gallant". Such a great word that needs to be used more often!🥰
Oooh; GALLANT. Love that word.
He does share amazing advice, 100%! Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with him being compensated for the great work he does for all of us. I would not be offended; in fact, I am looking forward to seeing some kind of course, coaching, or book soon.
Watching your videos has taught me that there is nothing more I can do. I need to walk away with love and understand that this is just over. I’m checked out and tired of pretending.
Safety. Ouch, it hurts to realize that a lack of safety is at the very core of my marriage problems.
I don't focus on my relationship with my girl anymore. I am much more focused on just her and me and I've happily learned to prioritize the people, she and I, over the relationship. I'm much more focused on her health and happiness than our relationship's health or 'happiness'. Very happy now that we met 41 yrs ago.
Isn’t it the same? All that connects you with your partner is a relationship: health, tiredness, needs…
Watched this video with my husband and He actually paid attention and listened to the whole thing! Then we Talked about our relationship’s strengths and areas to give more attention to!!! Thank You Jimmy!!🙌🏽
This is my dream come true!!!!
@@JimmyonRelationshipsGoes to show your work with your personal life and audience is not in Vain. God bless.❤❤
1. Safety, physical and emotional. Closeness and connection. Disrespect leads away from love. 3:43 Maturity means learning how to apologize, it means analizing our conflicts and trying to figure out where we can learn from them and grow.
3:50 Perfection isn’t the goal, growth is. Understanding and expressing your needs without blame or criticism. Learning to pause, not become defensive, interrupt or dismiss. Be curious about what they are feeling.
4:27 Neither is right. Feeling cronically neglected or feeling justified to criticise because we were neglected.
2. It takes both people. Their needs matter as my needs matter. If they dont listen and dont care. A thriving relationship is one where both partners care how the other feels. If one person doesnt care how the other feels hurt, alone or disconected, that relationship will always die. Because there is no trust. There is one thing we need get righr and it’s emotional responsiveness. Trust is confidence that they care, they are there, they care about what I need in order to feel loved and appreciated.
When I reached out to him vulnerably, and I was rejected, invalidated and dismissed it created an emotional wound and I started to detach from him.
3. Consideration. No fear to be open about our inner world, where they won’t use your vulnerabilities against me. He didn’t consider me and I deserve better.
Example of being vulnerable.
11:43
We showed love to each other in different ways. Felt disconnected.
4. Transparency. Secrets break relationship. He didn’t learn about what made me feel disconnected.
THANK YOU!
When our safety is threatened, our heart(s) close. As equal partners, relationships are a privilege that each person must use the healthy tools. Unfortunately I was unable to repair the damage and pain that I had caused. Here is to hope, trust and connection in an emotional intimate union.
Yeah, I like you. Not selling anything, just out there trying to help people be happier. I like you a lot.
Unfortunately my SO doesn't seem to get it, but that doesn't change the fact that your videos cheer me up whenever the betrayal ptss is too bad. Thanks for being you, yo.
Mine doesn't get it either but these cheer me up to n gives me hope while I'm watching then kinda sink into this little depression state of why can't he be a little more like Jimmy. His wife has to be the luckiest wife in the world. He cheated on her but still if that's what would have to happen for SO to get it, we'll not proud to say it but I would do it in a heart beat..
"There is no room for dominant behavior",this is so true. And all of the rest you are spoken about.
Thank you,Thank you,Thank you.🙏🙏🙏
and now the relationship is "boring"
That's not true at all. A man needs to be dominate in so many ways. Dominate is not the same as controlling. Nearly every woman wants a man to be dominate in the bedroom. She also wants him to be very dominate in emergencies. A masculine man, who genuinely loves his wife, is very dominate but not at all controlling. He wants his wife's full participation in most every endeavor. If you want a simp of a man, then you will NOT respect him.
There is a difference between telling someone what to do and asking something of them. One comes from fear, and the other comes from love. I'm so grateful for your videos and for sharing your experience.
Don’t castrate him by telling him what to do, tell him how you feel and he’ll coarse correct because he loves you!!!
Hm thinking about it I basically live in fear that if I do or don't do something, she will yell at me or get angry at me and tell me 10times that it annoys her so much that I did/didn't do that.. damn
Why have I never found a professional who could articulate this failed relationship paradigm as clearly, sensibly, and usefully as you have, Jimmy on Relationships!?❤
I owe you way more, by the way. I just want to hit this button real quick for you.
This means so much to me!! You’re too kind!
Jimmy. I love your videos. But I especially love the reassurance you provide to survivors of any kind of abuse. Thank you for that. ❤
I really love your videos. I’m still in my teens and in my first relationship, but you’ve really helped me understand what to do and why things happen, especially with all the negative content I’ve seen out there.
This means so much to me!!! You’re doing amazing learning about all this stuff ahead of time!!
Well done for doing this now! Please, always listen to your gut instinct. ❤❤❤
Take this from someone older... Introduce your future partners to these videos because nobody knows what they don't know and nobody is taught how to behave in relationship dynamics and even fewer people know how to properly interact with other people. I hurt my wife terribly because of my past behavior and cannot repair the damage. I can only move forward and become better iteratively. Trust me, watch these videos with your partners and save yourself a world of hurt down the line. @jimmyonrelationships is awesome!
This is so great that you are seeking this out. I sure wish we had this kind of access when I was your age! I’m going to bet you’re going to have wonderful relationships with people. Well done. Very mature. ❤
This video makes me so sad because you spoke everything. I'm very hurt ..but he can't see ...he just cannot. He's just always right...I about give up...pray for us. It used to be so beautiful. 💔 I can't live to be emotionally abandoned all of the time...thank you Jimmy...it's been almost 6 years...I'm tired ..he doesn't really want this, I'm afraid of ...I'm so worn down...if he only spoke a few comforting words to me, it would be enough...but I get pushed away and abandoned in my deepest darkest trials ...completely. I'm too tired for this anymore. He doesn't want to fight for it so I see how little I may even mean to him...whoo...wow...and yes I've sent him many of your videos. Yes I've tried explaining to him for a few years now that just because I addressed something that bothers me doesn't mean it's an attack on him it means I want to resolve something. And in return I give him the same respect but it's a one-way road here. And it's his way.
I was in the same situation and I normalized it. 20 years. And this year I'm out. Moving out and getting divorced. Took me this long to learn I can't change anyone but myself.
Me 15 years. He is not a bad man, but she is so close minded and lack of communication is so real. I took the last week, we already talked and he seems very OK with this. We’re planning to celebrate in about four months and then divorce. Looking forward to not being hurt by abandonment or empathy towards my feelings
I'm feeling all this as well. I'm working on writing down the things I need to say, everything, and asking him to listen and not respond right away. I have always been the one to initiate conversation when things are strained, and it's always come down to its my fault and he has never admitted wrong or apologized. I know this comes from his childhood and how his dad was, but I will not accept it any more. I love him so much and I want us to be together for our son, but this is going to be it for me. Once I tell him how broken I am inside, he gets a day or so to figure out how he wants to proceed with our marriage. 💔
Some people can learn this while they’re in a relationship some people cannot. Sometimes breaking up is the only way you can do the work on yourself.
I’ve watched many of your videos. I’m recently widowed and trying to understand what I had in a beautiful and long (even if imperfect) marriage so I can move on and be successful. This particular video struck me especially because I sensed that over the years that you have been doing this, you have been growing and maturing in front of us. Congratulations on that. The desire to always strive for greater depth and understanding never finds an endpoint. It’s the journey, not the destination, that counts. Thank you.
The world needs to hear you. I love how you actually work to help both partners... displaying mutual respect. Please keep up the good work!!!
Thank you!
@@JimmyonRelationships Hi Jimmy! Love your videos! I would love for you to make a video on a list of the books and authors you read to gain insight that helped you improve yourself and your relationship. I'm trying to do the same but I have no idea where to start. God bless! Ty.
It so good to see men talking about such deep and beautiful things. I have never seen men be so thoughtful. Here in India men think their only job is to provide financially n wife should be thankful for this and rest is wife's headache, their best policy don't ask anything or hear anything, they don't want to be bothered and stay happy in their own world.😢
I'm sorry =( that's not love
Please don't make this much heavy generalization mam! This used to happen in the past for sure but things have changed a lot in this regard and this generation is surely better than the previous generation. I would request you to rather educate your kids( if u have any) especially son in this regard as sons are closest to their mothers.
True, I have a lovely son and hopefully he'll be an empathetic person, I guess newer generation is better in that sense, am talking after seeing men in our family and society, n don't think I come from rural place or so, am a pediatrician living in a metro n am not saying men here are bad or abusive, infact they are more faithful then other countries. Men here though well educated and on good position have very low emotional quotient, they feel it's embarrassing to talk about emotions. I have a good husband, but its like living a lonely marriage.
@@snehalvernekar5374 You know what as I rightly mentioned it's the mother who mainly shapes the child(in Indian society). So, if mothers like you would start educating their children about how emotions don't equate to weakness,they don't always have to put the mask of toughness on, they can show their emotions atleast to the women in their lives etc., a lot of things will start improving. Consequently, we might see some amazing fathers who are empathetic towards their children, who can tell them that they'll always be there for them. So, everyone has to do one's bit to move towards a better society.
Even though I wasn't raised that way but here is my bit of work towards that society, I promise I'll try to be a cool dad.
@@Yuv3892 I think you’re invalidating her feelings and placing the blame into the mothers that are racing those kids. They learn from the father’s behavior as well.
Jimmy, you would do great at creating a study guide or curriculum to go along with this video. There are many topics you touched on that could be it's own chapter in a study guide book. Hopefully your work will expand. You are really good at this.
That's really kind of you!
@@JimmyonRelationshipsthat's so correct!!!
Consider taking that nursing profession and carrying it into counseling. You're amazing with a definite "talent/calling" to help others. Thank you for all you do.
@@denisebayer8748Is Jimmy a nurse? I’ve never heard what his career is.
Best relationship advice on internet by far❤
Oh you're too kind! I know how much I still need to learn, but I'm trying =)
I agree!
I learned that not taking accountability for one’s part in the relationship dynamics is a form of emotional abuse and will not allow that for myself or in my partner. Another good video Jimmy!
"Know that I'm praying for you" wow thanks that means alot
Hello! Currently single person here! I found you through the short and i just want to say, thanks for all you do here! I can already see the results with family and friends, i believe that me finding you now will help me when i am in a relationship. I don’t know if anyone else is here like me. But i hope that they might see results watching you
This means so much to me!
Here’s another like you, hoping the same thing for my future marriage (if the Lord allows). These videos are pure gold.
Pretty much the most wholesome and down-to-earth video I‘ve watched in a while
I am ASD and ADHD and your videos. Help me a lot but still have problems and I am still learning to fix my problems thank you
Whats ASD?
thank you for making the content you do, jimmy. i found your channel when i was at my lowest in terms of emotional maturity and regulation, suffering from multiple anxiety disorders, and you motivated me to be hard on myself and get rid of my anxious attachment tendencies, and finally talk to my therapist about treating my anxiety issues and be a better communicator. your talent as a motivational speaker is something to be very, very proud of.
This is incredibly nice of you to say! We're all on a healing journey right!? You're doing amazing!
I’ve tried showing my husband Jimmy’s videos, especially the ones about fighting, invalidating, narcissism, helping with chores, etc videos. I’m not great with communicating and all our years married I’ve never learned to properly voice or speak to my husband in a way he would listen and understand. Finding these videos opened an aha moment and it made me feel so happy that I found this guy who was able to say exactly what I’ve always wanted to explain to my husband and I sent him a few of these videos thinking maybe my husband will listen to this male and get finally what I’ve been trying to tell him and then later I asked him if he got anything out of them and he said no. Then he says why couldn’t I just tell him what these videos are saying, and I told him that all my life I’ve tried to tell him but he never listens and understands and these videos explain clearly what I’ve been trying to tell him. But he doesn’t get anything out of them. I’m not perfect, I’ve caused damage in our marriage relationship, but I’m trying to fight for it. I feel like the only one wanting to change. And honestly I’ve thought for a really long time about separation, not divorce, but give time away from each other. But it’s hard bc we have children and I don’t want to damage my kids. Sometimes I wonder if my husband is narcissistic but then sometimes I wonder if I am when I read the characteristics of one and I check the boxes, not all of them but most. I don’t know, I’m trying to change, I don’t want our marriage to end but sometimes I feel that it’s already there, I’m just hoping a little bit longer.
I feel this other than the children part because ours is grown and gone. And we have been married for 38 yrs. So confused and torn on what to do with life. Feeling numb inside from it all.
Maybe you could be codependent. Here is a recovery workbook to find out and help with healing:
spiritofliferecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Coda-Workbook-on-PDF.pdf
Just know, my parents stayed together and they ruined relationships for my brother and I. It would have been far better if they'd divorced. You need to both want to make it work, or it's over.
@@daisy9910 I am so sorry about that for you. I sometimes wonder if I ruined or caused things bad for my children.
@@sheriturner6118I found out about narcissism and divorced my husband after 32 years. Worked so hard on my marriage and nothing worked. Now I know the whole marriage was destined for failure from the beginning because a narcissist just manipulates and never truly loves. It’s been heartbreaking but I’m healing. I was never more lonely than when I was in the marriage.
My kids are also adults. One took it well because she understood my husbands narcissism years before I did. My other adult child finally got the attention he always wanted from his dad. He believed the lies his dad told him during the divorce while I didn’t share anything with my kids (I wasn’t supposed to confide in my kids about their dad) but he has come around. He now sees his father and has put boundaries on him while we’ve grown closer. Best to you! ❤
Goodness. You gave me the feels at the 12-minute mark. I imagined it was my common-law husband speaking like that to me. If he spoke so open like that, I would move mountains for him. But it's the opposite, and my relationship plant is slowly dying.
I'm so sorry
I have to say, I've taken all of your advice, utilized the tools you provide on your skits. It's amazing what a change on our home. So bright and hopeful. Even if I do end up divorced we will split amicably and as a parent team. Thank you from my ❤.
❤️
Hurt people hurt people... Never heard of that, it makes so much sense.
Greetings from Germany ☀️
I absolutely love what you had to say about safety. What a respectful, wise and beautiful way to talk to people who have been less than safe in relationships. It's like you were gently speaking directly to my past boyfriend and me. Blew my mind.
You did an exemplary job here, Jimmy!
I find all your videos very good and clearly a decent amount of thinking and effort are expended on them. However, this one in particular, I think, is the cream of all your work here on YT!
You made some really good and balanced points, especially towards the end of the video.
One such point that I have been telling myself during the 30 years of my marriage, when everything seems to fail, is that I should continue to do well and strive to do my best not to lose control of myself and actions, irrespective of how bad the other person is acting towards me, so that at least if and when I leave the relationship I won't have feelings of guilt or regret. Not to mention that we are accountable by God and so we should get our act straight. I do this in all relationships, by the way, not just with 'emotional partners' (i.e. the husband, since I am a believer and follower of God).
Thank you again for such a focused and quality video. May Allah bless your work, marriage and all other aspects of your life. May you continue to benefit and save relationships.
Thank you for this!!
Jimmy you're young enough to get your degree in counciling. I feel you are extremely good at this and better than most councilors out there. You have a gift. 😊
That’s so kind of you. You said that you were praying for us. Love that.
Thank you for these videos. They are very, very helpful.
Absolutely!
They want us to feel the pain that they feel deep down. This is so true! We aren't responsible for their emotional responsiveness.
Just asked the wife what she needs and she gave me the most enlightening response. Prompted a deeper and open conversation regarding areas I need to improve on and I felt no defensiveness this time.
Thank you sir. 🥲
I love this! Well done!!
Thanks Jimmy
Sure appreciate all you do.
My relationship is doing so much better being aware of these things you show us.
Im praying for you too Brother.
Let's 'pray it forward' with no end to doing our part in changing relationships, one couple at a time 🙏✝️🙏
I cannot express how great you are, keep being wonderful x
26 years of 2 traumatized persons, of course both what was learned from childhood. Both of us found you, and we are both now taking responsibility for healing and repair. Here is the thing that is interesting of two impaired people is the attraction type of this unity, its still a pay off that matches the level of each protection modes, at times not knowing we are broken and surviving a marriage instead of having a deep relationship, always wondering and hurting, not knowing why. Your videos have brought to light how we can heal together. Has shown us each our part in the damages we done. Both of us here are learning to communicate with understanding, patience, empathy. Recovery and feeling less stressed or fearful is starting to develop for us. We are thankful to your videos.
I thank you for sharing this
You are literally speaking directly to me right now, so so relatable and relevant to me and my past relationship. this is gold.
Justifying lashing back because we feel attacked. I have done this so so many times. You’re right, it’s immature, unhelpful and only aids the destruction of the relationship. Thank you for pointing this out. You’re videos are so helpful.
Thank you for this video, it's exactly what I needed to hear right now. It's scary to open up and be vulnerable, but it's so worth it.
So good. There’s a lot of toxic videos on TH-cam teaching otherwise. We have to be careful what we listen to. ❤
So true!
Jimmy I just wanted to thank you.
Your videos have made such a huge positive impact on my marriage with my husband. The way you take the role of both men and women and give a voice and validation to both partners perspectives has saved my marriage. My husband and I started sending each other your videos to explain our feelings when we lacked the skills to do so and now I catch my husband actively using the skills you show in your videos and i see myself catching my disregulation and challenging behaviours and patterns before they escalate. I go out of my way now to communicate when in the past I gave up because I felt couldn't do it anymore. I feel safe to share my feelings with my husband and we have grown our 15 year relationship into a stable, loving marriage. I feel so much more connected to my husband than I ever have and I see so much change in him.
Thank you ❤
It's not just the heart break that's been so difficult these past several months... but also realizing MY PART in everything and how much better I could've and should've been. It had been so long and I was so in love so fast... I just didn't know so much.
Your videos have been very helpful 🫶
My partner is a flip flopper I Leave than the texts start I now know what I'm doing and how it affects you. It will be different I go back and it's so much worse. I'm gone again and I'm getting the same texts I won't yell anymore etc. such a vicious circle. Narcissist no doubt. 😕😕😕
@Ratgirl2 it can be a circle. It can be vicious but people can and do change for the better. I had a great deal of trouble regulating my emotions and because I had been single for many years, I never had to learn. I have grown and improved in every way possible and I did it for myself and love. As far as communication... There's nothing left for me to do. I don't wanna bother anyone, I will not beg ever again and I have to accept she no longer wants to see me or talk. It does not feel good.
I would ask that everyone learn to enjoy the moment. Learn to appreciate what you have. 💙
@@TommyLomeo_movement_33
It's three times I've left listened to the things I've been told come back and the attitude and temper have gotten worse. Everything I say triggers this person. I can't deal with it anymore my health is at risk it's egg shells and land mines. And it's all my fault. I have to escape self care is my goal now.
@Ratgirl2 I am very sorry to hear that. It really saddens me to hear when 2 people in love lose each other.
I have learned that it wasn't her that triggered me. It was my insecurities and fears that were triggered. Calling and texting all the time... Done. Waiting to respond and incorporating understanding and empathy into my responses and reactions... Done AND trying. Social media and my Narcissistic need for attention and validation... gone. There is so much more, but I blamed everything on her and everyone else instead of looking at the REAL problem... Me. I had an incredible smart wonderful woman that just wanted to be happy, hangout and have fun... TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. That wasn't good enough because my fear of losing her controlled my immature, at times narcissistic behavior. Realizing these things have allowed a 'reset' within me and that has turned the focus on MY issues and behavior. That's the way to have a future with someone you have struggled with.
I debated on even commenting because even that can be an issue for me. Being more private and no longer discussing specific events on a public app is not a good thing to have a habit of. I hope you find yourself and your happiness. I hope for everyone when it comes to love because it's such an easy thing to happen sometimes but so difficult to keep alive and growing. Best wishes 💙
Thank you! I shared this with my daughter's dad. He's newly married to someone different & I just want us all to heal. Thank you!
These shorties are filled with knowledge and wisdom...changing me one shortie at a time...THANK YOU 😊❤
This is the best video on relationships I have ever seen. Thank you for this
This is so kind of you!!
If I would’ve seen this months ago my relationship wouldn’t be on the line. Thank you for your words I’ll internalized this information and I hope that we can get back to where we once were.
I really appreciate that you are empathetic to people who can be scary and aggressive. I am someone who needed really firm boundaries held with me, that helped me grow a lot out of just lashing out and being nasty and violent any time someone hurt my feelings. I am really grateful to everyone in my life who was brave enough to walk away from me when my behavior was unacceptable--I couldn't have stopped if no one ever held me accountable. But I needed compassion too and I often didn't get it.
Trust and respect ❤ some people don’t see, nor do they treat their partners, nor value them as equals.
Thank you❤ I cried watching this....I have been abused for 10years...and just got out...I'm focusing on me now before i date again...I loveyour work. Tha k you
“There is no room for dominant behavior.”
They should show this video in high schools - it is hands-down the best relationship advice I’ve ever heard. Your fun videos are also a wonderful way for people to share your advice with friends who they might normally be hesitant to approach, but want to help. You’re a gifted therapist! ❤
Your videos helped me express my feelings and helped my hubby learn to empathise and validate instead of applying logic to my emotion. Yikes the walls that had gone up. 😬
Thanks again Jimmy. A MILLION TIMES ❤
This means a lot to me Mimi!!
disgust (+contempt) is by far the one behavior put on me by others that has beaten me down the most
I started to ask all these question and set my boundaries right before finding your canal and you help me put thoughts into words and I send your work to all my sisters so that they can have a healthier relationship with there partners ❤ thank you
This is so kind of you to say!
How do you not have over a million followers? I’m learning a lot from you thankyou!
That’s very kind of you!
Although an agreed upon and mutual power dynamic can be mutually fulfilling too when it's done with the same trust and respect he's speaking of where both partners are valued and appreciated for what they bring to the relationship.
I just broke up with a man I love, he hit all these markers for the things that make a relationship fail. I hit a couple myself but he just couldn’t be honest with me, he was dismissive and I eventually had to let go. I tried so hard to get him to be honest with me but he was so evasive and ambiguous. I need more security than he could offer. I should have known really, he was 48 years old, never been married, had kids or lived with anyone. He doesn’t know how to consider another person.
This video gives me strength to see it for what it really was.
Love these longer, involved vids. So much information and enlightenment. Thank you!❤❤
That means so much! Thank you!
Thank you! I've just finished my relationship because of her cheating. And your channel is the thing I so needed!! Unfortunately I found it only now, but I am really grateful to find it at all and I am really thankful for all the job u are doing here. Thank you!
Unfortunately it is not looking like I can save the relationship I had as well as probably there are no chances to build a new one with that person. We have so much behind us.... w@r in Ukraine, moving to Canada etc...
But at least I have the chance and hope to build something beautiful in the future.
Jimmy, I watch your videos because you have such great insight and you share it clearly. I believe you speak from experience, and that is great because you share vulnerability and you share your outcomes. My partner of 39 yrs died before I discovered your videos. We mostly lived a tolerated relationship with each other. I grasp trying to find memories that exhibited love. I'm hopeful that you continue to reach couples so their relationships prosper in love. Bless you.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this
Your videos are incredible. Ive been watching you for a while, then of course my therapist sends me a link to your channel as well haha. Officially recommended!
My relationship is finally righting itself, now to figure out if its too late. So much has been lost over the years.
Your video hit the nail square on. 31 years of being together, and recently, I've discovered trauma in my childhood. Suddenly, this man I live with is completely stranger. But your advice has brought hope for the future and tears to my eyes. Thank you for the many videos you have posted,and I have watched them. Not least the funny, pertinent ones with the wig. You are very much appreciated for your help and wisdom. Thank you, Jonathan
SUPER RIGHT ON POINT!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I wish all these words would remain in my head as I speak to the other person.
Thank you for this!! :)
Watching this video and suddenly I’m crying. Thank you!!!
It feels so safe to be heard and validated! =)
Got me all choked up too
This is so neccesary, honest, wise and uplifting video's! Keep them comming🤗
Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share what you have learned. I appreciate your use of seriousness and humor! You are reaching a wider audience by showing that you are a real person.
Thank you for your videos! I cannot even explain to you how much they have helped my marriage move from being completely broken to potentially better than before. We are still working through our problems, but we refer back to your videos when we are trying to convey a solution. I cannot tell you how grateful we are to you!
1 thing…. “Emotional Responsibleness” ❤
YES - closing ourselves off because of the past makes us miss out on opportunities for either or both of us to grow. Thank you for this!
Woke up, got coffee and listened to your voice & priceless information. Headed to first visit to
marriage counselor & now have words to describe my withering 🌱 plant problem! ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Jimmy, in my 30 years (counting as of 15) of trial/error relationships, whether with my significant others, children, friends, or relatives, this video, this information, is truly from The Most High. You’ve helped me understand the importance of my feelings but more so, understand how much more important it is how I make others feel. I lost my way, many, many years ago…I did not realize I had become “cold hearted.” I was only protecting myself…so I reasoned. But this information, wow…I have no words. I’ll be rewatching as many times as needed to make a difference in myself for the sake of my marriage. Thank you!!!
Thank you for this video. I am actively doing my best as I am the one with the outburst due to emotion. I will keep on listening to these words and do my best to be a better me. It is very easy to blame the other person , however I refuse to do that anymore. I need a better me in order to be a greater person to all around me
Safety in a marriage is so important. Your videos are so helpful! Please keep them coming.
In the first 2 minutes you literally touched my soul and it made me cry. Thank you
here I am listening to your Video as I clean my Room after a fight with my Partner. We're long distance and I've been able to come live with him for a few Months, and suddenly we're from "I miss you" messages everyday, to him disregarding me more than often to play Videogames with his friends for hours.. and when you said "If your Partner gives you the alone time you need, reassure them when you'll be back, plan a date night" I couldn't help but tear up.. you've basically put how I'm feeling into words yet again and I hope that by showing him this Video we can move past this and improve our Relationship.
I hope he comes to understand how much it hurts when he disregards you =(
When you speak 🗣️ i feel like this is everything i tried to create in relationship with all avoidance because I simply wanted to love them, but u can't be the only one in the relationship.
It's so refreshing to hear, you put how I've felt put into words, it heals me to hear it and not feel so alien in this world
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
This is so kind of you!!! Thank you!!
When many people’s relationships end that’s it. Sometimes they learn from their mistakes, sometimes they don’t. You’ve taken the chance not only to learn, but to apply your knowledge to help others in similar situations. I’ve learned so much for your videos. Thank you
I am so glad I found your channel. So much of what you say is true in my relationship and it has helped me turn myself around. Thank you. ❤
You are a precious Godsend. Thank you.
I watched this in it's entirety, and realized that I don't want to save the relationship I'm in. It's been 21 years of absolute hell. I am preparing myself to leave.
I just wanted to thank you for saving my relationship ❤
Thank you Jimmy for the closing comment that you’re hoping & praying ... thanks .. i’ve created 2 playlists to go over with my partner & this one is a “definitely”
A big thing that has been an issue is people pleasing behavior. Aka fawning. I am pretty familiar with this trauma response, not saying im perfect at it. But i try to put down boundaries and be honest about how I feel, update people when Im not meeting expectations like I thought I could etc.
They do not lay down boundaries, or voice their needs or wants and do a knee jerk people pleasing response. It leads to over promising, and frustration on their part feeling like no one values their needs. But there are times where there is no way of me knowing what their needs are when they have actively been saying the opposite. It has led me to feel like I can't trust what they say in certain contexts. I can't trust them to be reliable when they say they will do something. Even though the source of this is insecurity, people pleasing and best intentions, it is hurtful, not only to themselves because they are not advocating for themselves, but hurtful to others when they fail to meet the expectations they promised and then didn't communicate an update that they couldn't follow through and end up either not showing up or situations where something isn't done to the full expectation (like being 4 hours late to something for example).
Not looking for advice, but contributing to the conversation of how trust is lost. Its not always about lying, its about a lack of honesty and transparency. If they said "Im struggling I need more time" or "hey I know I said id do this but turns out I over promised", it would go a long way for me, but instead its a constant issue of them forgetting or being late or telling me several hours too late that something changed. It has also led to several occasions where they explode with feelings about how their wants and needs aren't respect, yet its the first time im hearing about it. And the expectation is for people to stop asking but the reality is they need to start saying no.
I really appreciate this video, thanks Jimmy! I think I really have been justifying my own behavior based on past events . The things you say really help me want to grow up and do better more than focus on what others are doing wrong. I think your getting through to me, thanks again!
I have learned a lot about myself through your videos. Thank you for your calm and thoughtful presentation.
I appreciate your videos. I am the one in the relationship who is not very good at communicating but at same time it is hard when my husband is angry with me. My marriage is important to me and I will try my best to communicate showing him he matters to me and our marriage matters. Thank you for sharing
Jimmy, this is the most helpful info you have shared yet!! Thank you!!!
Thank you!!!