Showing emotion is a natural human-being behavior.. This is what normal people do. If you already know they're a narcissist,, the manipulation game has already been well underway. #GetOutStayOut shut the door and change the locks, draw the blinds and change your phone number.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone In my case, the main Narcissist was my mother. Because of that, I was again and again heaving relationships with them. At the moment I am alone and well, my mother always said, that I am too sensitive. Well, I do not know, how long it might take, because I have even now some days, where I am crying, because something of the past comes up, but I do not feel so terrible as back in July 2022 when I finally could cut the ties. She still tries to "come back" by sending letters, well I have to confess, that I throw them away. There are also less and less days, were I think about that. Thank you Andrew. And yes, such a mother is hell and I do not care, if people look at me in a strange way, when I say, that I do not have contact with her anymore. Have a nice day/evening. ❤
The narc made me into a third party and even when his partner found out, he didn’t want to end our relationship. The narc was completely unwilling to offer closure. I told myself that I need to stop hurting myself and the narc’s partner and walked away. No need for goodbye, I just blocked him on my phone and out of my life.
Mine lied to me and said he had broken things off with her to start anew with me. I found that it wasn't true and distanced myself from the situation, he actually smiled while wiping away my tears when I was crying over how awful it felt to have been lied to about this and how much I never wanted to be that person.. it was exactly why we had never gotten together sooner because I would never help someone to cheat. I thought this person was my best friend who had over time had developed feelings for me and it turned out he was just a manipulative and evil monster!
My narc ex cried on the phone when I said I was putting an end to his control. He was sobbing and actually said listen how upset I am . You can't fake this . Then within about 30 seconds went back to his normal voice. The fact he said you can't fake this said everything.
They won’t console you either when you lost need it. They might look at and see you as pathetic and weak even without saying so, even though we all know that’s not true.
@@Mike_CosentinoMike, it's so interesting. I remember last year my aunt passed away and we had made plans in advance to go to the funeral, and on the same day she said "I'm not going, I have a psychiatrist appointment" and then to avoid any sort of confrontation because I knew she was full of shit and was lying to me I just left and we all know now that she didn't go to a psychiatrist appointment that because she's a narcissist they can't have feelings so deep like we can!!!! Smh these people are such psychos!!!!
@@Mike_Cosentinoanother thing, I remember she said to me that "if you get sick to the point where your vomiting and need help don't ask me because I don't do well with that kind of stuff" wow!!!!! She was a psycho and she said her Mom does the same thing to her Dad, I remember when her Dad and Mom went on vacation to a ski resort her Dad got injured very badly and tore ligaments in both legs and her Mom continued skiing while he's on the bed trying to heal!!!!! Wow!!!!! Now i know how psychotic and evil these narcissists are!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!
He never laughed, it was rare and when he did, it sounded so fake. I wondered often if he knew how to genuinely laugh. Rarely ever smiled. He was always on, always go time, always on the take. The most I ever heard him laugh was when he was laughing at me. That wasn't real either. I felt after a while it was part of the trap. I just wanted to make him happy but nothing is ever good enough. He is the most unhappy person I've ever met.
Twice in 35 years he shed a tear. First at his mothers funeral. Second when I left him for a week, acting suicidal and begged me to come back. First one may have been genuine..second one was crocodile tears to manipulate me for the next 20 years.
Oh my I told a narcissist to take their pity party to a therapist...then they went ballistic and tried to turn others against me...whatever. I'm Done with them!
Oh my goshhh!!!!! During my marriage her the narc I told her that she should go to counseling because she needs help and then she said "I DONT NEED COUNSELLING YOUR THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP"!!! "IM SICK OF EVERYONE TRYING TO CONTROL ME"!!!! aka rage fit towards me when I tried to help. Funny thing is, we ended up going to counseling and the counselor who is a Christian said that shes the one who is causing all the issues in the marriage and that I'm not doing anything wrong!!!! Wow, and then when that session was done she asked me "do you think I'm good enough for you" and I just said "what do you think?!!!" To avoid confrontation!!! These people are indeed psychotic!!!!
the idiot narcissist likes to use their "charm" as a tool for influence and manipulation to their advantage, not for making a genuine emotional connection with people. it's extremely cringe when the narcissist's fake crying (or any other manipulation tactic) abruptly stops. and they look at you with a kind of fear mixed with hate, because they suddenly realize that you've figured them out. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thanks for this video. it's an under-discussed topic. narcissists don't know what feelings to correctly feel. they will use feelings in whatever way that they think can benefit from, without any concern or regard for the other person.
Steven, I've got to confess...I luv how you begin your comments with the idiot narc...makes me laugh every time, don't change it! Your content is always on point & quite helpful. Good day to you, Marie 🌈🎀😘
This is such an underrated topic. Think about any & all the times the narcissist consoled you when you felt upset. I’m almost certain those times were little to none- least in my experience. Often, they’ll only shed tears AFTER the damage is done. They get super emotional during the holiday period because they’re guilt ridden and lonely and maybe even ruminating over your loss. But they certainly weren’t there for you during the healing path. They wouldn’t lift a finger to help us though- even though I never ignored the narcissist . Some even go as far as to post themselves crying online on social media for likes and sympathy views- only to delete said video later on, thinking no one will remember.
" Often, they’ll only shed tears AFTER the damage is done."-- experienced that before. The shallow crying was the "force field" you were not allowed to enter and get reasons and answers for their bad behavior. Whew! I'm so happy I'm away from the "1001 Ways to Manipulate You" Play that ended its Broadway run.
It’s been about 10 years since I divorced, my covert narc ex wife. She 59’ sits in her recliner chair flipping Netflix, eating nonstop.Fat.Miserable.Unhappy. She has burned everybody in her life. She’s made her bed now. She hast to lay in it. So my Daughters 33, 24, tell me she lives in deep regret for doing me the way she did and losing me. I have no feeling for her at all. I’m done and on with my life.😎
Noticed a similarity in what the ex narc who was also a dangerous covert narcistic.they loved to sit on ye couch eat junk food ,eat everything non stop .watch movies that make no sense more like the Bollywood witchcraft and sadistic tourtires pornograpoc on his phone , frown miserable and just smelly . So glad I am out of there ...
When I was thirty, with three small children, my mother died suddenly. The day she passed, I was crying as I lay down at bedtime. Something about my crying upset him. He angrily grabbed me and forced “intimacy” on me until I was sobbing. When it was over, he said “ There- now you have something to cry about. You should thank me “ A part of me disappeared that night.
Yes, the Hoovering narc would burst into tears…it was so manipulative and unstable. The Devaluing narc-same guy, different day-only had contempt, belittling, and disgust for me. He’d treat me like he didn’t even know who I was. Discard, start again…
I can relate with my narcissistic family member who’d often try to hoover me during the holidays and around my own birthday. Yes, she’d go out of her way again I went NC to stalk my new address/es, even though the narc relative has long been blocked 📱 and been warned several times by my lawyer 🗒️ to stay away from me. The narc respects no boundaries and they don’t want you to heal. So with that said, the narcissist’s tears mean nothing to me. Can’t say that I feel sorry for somebody who doesn’t reciprocate or only cries and whines after the fact.
When I got sick he would say “You are fine just get up and get some fresh air” No empathy … I got out or as we got older I was visualizing elder abuse just waiting for me to die… just no love at all - nothing - 55 days out Free … left Valentine’s Day - starting to feel again
Thanks for describing crocodile tears.. the narc here has cried A LOT over the years.. probably more than me.. I used to cry a lot but I think I’m all cried out.. enduring what I’ve endured has caused a bit of numbness in me.. many times I thought the narc’s tears were real .. they probably were in those moments.. they might not have empathy, but they might feel things in the moment.. but only for that moment.. but in the past year and a half I have felt that some of his tears were fake.. i could see it in his eyes and other facial expressions.. it was carelessness.. I appreciate you talking about grieving the living too.. no one understands this.. whether it’s a human, animal, relationship, or any type of loss.. it’s a real thing and not many people address this.. thank you for doing so.. when a narc cries.. watch the other emotions and their facial expressions... it can reveal a lot!.. thanks Andrew.. you revealed a lot of truths today 💜💜🪻🪻
The worst part is getting older and having health problems. Running a fever of 102 for 4 day's. He finally took me to ER today. He couldn't stand sitting there with the machines going off and beeping. He told me it was always about me and disappeared for 2 hours. As I laid there crying all alone. A sweet lady came in and prayed for me. They abandon you because, they are selfish and the world revolves around them. 21 years of marriage and I am healing. I never thought I could go this long? I am stronger than he ever thought.
My ex would triangulate me with my own masculinity. Whenever she abused me, if I reacted, she would throw the "you're weak" look and I'd be forced to suck it up and not say anything..it gave her free reign to abuse without having to worry about repercussions or me showing emotion..When I look back it was demoralizing but that fog and her control was something only a narc survivor would understand...no wonder we cry so much afterwards 🙏☮️
You cried, possibly because your body was protecting you. Nothing to do with fake Narc tears, but from a Harvard Health study-" emotional tears (which flush stress hormones and other toxins out of our system), that potentially offers the most health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins.-" --- You were relieving your own Stress.
I have witnessed a female narc with No tears & supposedly crying... it was strange! Learning about narcissist types is an eye opener & its a reason to keep your eyes open. Empathy shared with them, may leave you in shock at the lack of theirs! Blessings 🌈🎀😘
2nd rate actors. They need to study the profession. One actor said by pulling her nostril hair out-- Bingo! Easier to shed 'real ( fake)' tears.👃🤏😢 Correction- That was Burt Reynolds.
My ex texted me he was crying all the time after my breakup and I thought well I would cry too if I where you because you lost me, the one that was a loving beautiful soul who was giving and giving and giving.
There is no closure from them, we are just things to put on the shelf to be pick up and use again and again! Thankful, I have good friends. They tried to tell me. But I was in the fog, to blind to see and to deaf to hear. Thank You Andrew for your devotion on helping us! Namaste 🙏 💜💐
Oh I remember the tears at the airport when she was about to fly back to MA, or when she called me out of the blue one night from her camp in ME bawling her eyes out and saying “Baby I love you so much, I miss you so much”. I look back at THAT particular one and think “Were you just trying to manipulate me emotionally, or who did you just cheat on me with?” Thanks Andrew!
Usually when I started to confront my ex husband for his behavior, he would cry . I would feel so guilty that I ended up apologizing to him. I see now how it was all manipulation and control. I’m thrilled that he is gone from my life. God help whoever he is in a relationship with now.
That is weird and know what you mean. To have empathy, one's mirror neurons cannot be encrusted with grime. That is announcing to you, that they wouldn't care much if you encountered pain or serious trouble. Nope- don't need that type in your life.
He never comforted me when I was upset. Even if he asked if I was ok by text if I replied like 6 hours later he would then ignore me for weeks after then come back as if nothing happened. 🤷♀️ Then they would come up with their own sob story then go cold as ice!
Yes they can be a big cry baby.. to pull your heart strings.. they're crying crocodile tears, and they're only crying for themselves that their wicked selfish ends haven't been achieved
No tears, no remorse, never said sorry.... emotion less. Empty void. If I got emotional at an appropriate time he would say ' stop it it's making me feel uncomfortable ' WHAT ?! Black empty hole....evil.
Right on target as usual, Andrew! The narc ex I had used to ridicule me when I cried after he hurt me, then to add insult to injury, he would "fakey-hug" me! I would be too physically weak to shove him away like I wanted to, but I wouldn't respond! Finally, later in the relationship after making false accusations (and when I no longer cared), I responded coldly to him with the truth, and what would happen? He burst into tears! Although I no longer loved him, I respected him enough to NOT "fakey-hug"!
Thank you for this video, Andrew. 100% true, thank you for the many help suggestions within. How many times I cried and grieved over a relationship that never was and a person who didn’t exist. The fact that it wasn’t real made it hurt more with utter shame and humiliation. I would sit across from him at a table and try to look into his eyes to try and fix things between us. He must have been laughing so hard over that.
When you try to be mature and tell them certain things are bothering you, then they have simply learned it is bothering you. Not only do they not correct the behavior, they continue it or ramp it up. They are not trying to have a reciprocal loving exchange with you, they are trying to destroy the relationship…..and destroy you.
I used to be very irritable , sensitive and would cry so many days every single time they would provoke me , they would hurt me intentionally and then minimise her cruelty saying it's nothing that I am over reacting. They sure are evil monsters ..then at some point they wild confuse me by saying I am manipulative because I cry every single time they hurt me. Who dies that to a soul .. sadistic
Fake tears, could turn them on an off when it suited him but when i felt vulnerable in the relationship and shed a tear....he would just look at me with a cold expression and then the smirk. Very weird altogether. Someone once remarked to me, that when he cried it was for attention in front if an audience and called them "crocodile tears". How right they were! Thanks Andrew....great video as always....sound advice! 🙏
This is so true, she would always seem to attach herself way toooo close physically when she would see me cry and I always felt weird about it. I would back away looking at her as if she were nuts and she would actually reach out to me trying to touch me! I am not one to be touched unless I give permission. Crazy neighbors. She even followed me into an elevator to be physically close, I finally told her to back the F off, very aggressively. She just stood there looking at me, I stormed way.
Yep. When my mom's father died, (my grandfather) I remember vividly that she never dropped a tear ever. I remember thinking as a young child how odd my mother was. I didnt understand it. But as I grew up, I came to realize who and what she is and was. She wasnt there when my grandmother died. She didnt care. There is no point in being around people like this. They are a waste of your time. They disappoint constantly. You cant bond with people like this. That's why you must stay away from them, even if they are fam. When dealing with fam, your subconscious your unconscious will trick you thinking its fam and love. Its not. You cant trust yourself. Stay away from them. They Hoover to finish you off.
Thank you Andrew ❤ You've really hit the nail on the head again in this video! He switched on the crocodile tears early on in the 'relationship' whilst talking about his 'sad past' therefore reeling me in on the empathy I felt for him. Glad I eventually realised that this was a toxic relationship and no longer do I let him be part of my life. Xx😊
I dated a woman 20 years ago who was dating multiple guys at the same time, one night at a bar she secretly invited her friend to hit on me, turned out i got set up!!!! Crying games omg!!!!! OK for her to date multiple guys at same time...Not ok for me to do the same. Smear campaign "he is a cheater"...i was being abused in every way possible. "Im going to tell my friends about you" This woman is now single with 2 kids and has no held a job in 20 years.
It is frankly shocking how callous they are. When I shed plenty tears, she wasn't able to show even a glimmer of compassion or understanding. Just went straight back to old supply and acted as if nothing had happened. That is pure mental illness. Another VG video and relevant topic to bring out our human vulnerabilities and how we should deal with them.
Even though I finished and walked out never to look back ,,it did hurt and I cried constantly for weeks,,,then I got many lightbulb moments,,,that's when I stopped crying,,,,I felt at peace when I understood it all,,,💡👏💖💖🙏🙏
Repost ( just sharing info)-- You cried, possibly because your body was protecting you. Nothing to do with the fake Narc tears, but from a Harvard Health study-" emotional tears (which flush stress hormones and other toxins out of our system), that potentially offers the most health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins.-" That the naturalness of crying could be so healthy is good to know.
18:44 "And the crying games of the narcissist will go on.. as long as they have fuel sources who believe in the falseness of the mask, as long as they have people who haven't healed, as long as they have people who are vulnerable.." As long as they go on somewhere else and stop darkening my doorstep. I can't save the new supply. Nobody was able to save me.. I had to live it and learn, I rejected advice from those who tried to warn me and I lost many relationships through isolation and smear campaign (that's actually a good thing to weed out those who were not on my side)...and unfortunately the new supply needs to walk those same shoes. God help them, my heart goes out to them. I hope they see it before they're in too deep.
horrible nasty people no emotions if you sense a red flag act on it sorry to say i never did its why am on here giving advice i felt like my life was not own felt awfull around the narcissist could never understand why until discard clarity came to me and i knew nothing was my fault just remember people if you start losing yourself its the narcissist controlling you walk away dont be controlled
Twenty years of crocodile tears, followed by more tears for the benefit of others as I left him. And yes, I experienced the falling to the floor, grabbing my legs to stop me from leaving, right after he raged at me and terrified me so badly I thought I was about to die by his hands. I went completely cold, which I did not understand at the time. I thought it was just fear then, but now I believe it was more than that - it was some kind of inner realization about the falsehood of his begging for forgiveness in that moment. . . which unfortunately, stayed subconscious for another eight years until I figured out I was being abused. Five months out and healing now.
I was getting so healthy before the new year. Now I've never felt lower. I cried a couple times today because I feel like there's no way out of this. I've made mistakes in the past,over reacting etc but I worked endlessly to heal. I get discarded a lot. Because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't find work, can't start my insurance business to become independent. I feel lost and trapped and full of pain. I try to be tough because i feel like nobody would understand me. I've shown empathy for crocodile tears many times, but cone time I break down, I'm treated like everything is my fault. Anytime I speak my peace, I'm yelled at through text, if I block the number i get texted from the second phone,if that's blocked I get emails to all of my accounts about how bad of a person I am. Sorry for the long winded post. I just want the pain to stop
Dearest, we do all know that pain. It's so real! So deep! The setbacks are to be expected, so expect them. IT'S normal and YOU'RE normal. Knowing that is a good place to start! It's been almost two years since my narc Brother left my home. His violent treatment kept me walking on eggshells and fearing for my life. He destroyed everything he could, knowing I had been spending years making my home more fit for a purchaser. I cannot tell you the full impact of the devastation he left behind. It left me with PTSD so bad I couldn't function, total paralysis! I am almost back to normal, but unbelievably weak. I have to be kind to myself and encourage myself by congratulating the ol' girl for whatever I get done. When I discovered what was wrong with me, it lead me to what was wrong with him. He has every marking of a psychopathic narcissist. Talking to his first (of at least five) wives she told me to be so very careful around him because "he's dangerous". I blocked him. NO phone calls. NO texts. I don't know how to block email but if I see his name I don't even read the heading, I 0:05 just hit delete. That has saved my sanity! Unfortunately he developed a friendship with a good man at Church. I have to be careful not to let this dear man know any of my private doings. My Brother calls him a couple times a week. He is really using him to monitor my life! Last week my friend told me that someone is loaning his car to my Brother so he can drive from Texas to California for our Family Reunion. He plans to stop in Colorado to pick me up so I can ride with him! Um, NO! NO! NO! NO! I've already driven several thousand toxin filled miles with Brother. I loaned him my deceased Husband's truck for eight weeks. To this day I haven't had finances to repair the extensive damage he caused to it in that short time. I've worked very hard at healing. I'm NOT going back. He almost killed me once and there will be no second chance. Besides that, my whole family is toxic! I'm NOT going to expose myself to any more of that at a Family Reunion! I still have life to live! I'm telling you this because NO CONTACT is self preservation. Please, pease, please believe that this is true. As long as you let them into your life, they will drive their fangs into you. They CANT help it. It's their nature. You don't deserve that treatment. You are not here to be someone else's toy, or trinket, or rag! You are a precious human being with a God given destiny! That infernal Narc is NOT GOD! If you permit them a millimeter they will take a thousand miles at your expense. Free yourself from the emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual slavery they have, have had or plan to have you entrapped in! Embrace all the freedom you can gain for yourself: the freedom of the children of God. You are created for that! Blessings, dear one!❤
@@donnahalsted7718 @donnahalsted7718 I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. That sounds horrible. It's hard to be in the moment and remain present around these people. You can't speak your mind or express yourself at all. I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. I'm proud of you. You sound very strong and incredibly resilient. I've personally been verbally abused for so long there were times I was pushed to suicidal thoughts(not really wanting to die but wanting the pain to die, to end THAT part of me) and instead of doing that I put holes in the drywall. Which are fixed now and repainted. My problem is it's my father and he knows every button to push. He's the type who starts fights just to record you and say "see look how crazy they are" during a reactive moment. I made the told him about my sexual abuse and he gave me the infamous blank stare. I unfortunately lowered myself to his level at times, but I know better now. I've always been extremely empathetic to the point I actually tried to help people heal. Now It's just cognitive empathy because I'm starting to feel numb. One of my remedies is laughing. I love to laugh. I love connecting with people deeply. But this makes it so hard to stay in the moment in public. When I told him about 6 or 7 years ago, I was feeling like ending everything,he literally told me "then do it" now he treats me like I'm supposed to forget that. Last year he told me he wanted me to hate myself. No contact is the only time I have peace. I lost count how many times he puffed out his chest and got up in my face. I'm a man so that doesn't sit well with me and immediately puts me in fight or flight. Well I'm a Fighter when I have to be. I've looked at therapy but at 100+ an hour and not accepting medicaid, my only choice is to pray I get a job. After blocking him. His flying monkey my brother calls, whom I also have blocked since he couldn't keep my favor request private. I thought I was a narcissist for a while. Then I read a ton and watched videos explaining what abuse survivors reactions are like in the moment. Even from healing self aware narcs themselves. Reading the Bible has helped understanding too. God bless you and stay strong! Thank you for your kindness!! Keep loving yourself!
@@donnahalsted7718 I had typed out a very lengthy response, but this nonsense algorithm deleted it immediately. So All I will say is I love how strong and resilient you are. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! Every time I meet someone kind like yourself it gives me a little more hope and helps me feel love in my heart. I've looked at therapy but at over 100 dollars an hour it's not an option because they don't accept medicaid. and I am not about to trust government mental health care. They have a history of abuse themselves. One day I see myself in therapy, because I need a professional to talk to. Too much to unload on anyone really. It's embarrassing and I feel ashamed talking about it because of how I'm gaslighted for expressing myself. My father and I can't live together because he expects me to accept his verbal murder. and in this economy without a job, I could be homeless in the future. This is a person who will intentionally push your buttons, just to record your reaction and use it against you. Always one sided. Grade A Crazy making. So I embrace my crazy now and I still have the ability to laugh, to empathize(even though sometimes I feel numb) and most definitely love. You're definitely a beautiful soul I can tell. I truly appreciate your response. Sorry for the lengthy reply. God Bless you!!!
@@donnahalsted7718 Mind you, all of this treatment started because I would not blindly accept unwarranted advice, in addition I stood up for myself. Which twice resulted in ME being arrested because there were false police reports filed. In fact, in court, my dad had the audacity to crack a joke to the judge! Millions have experienced what I have, so knowing that helps me feel less alone. I've endured about 15 years of it and I'm afraid of becoming like him. So I fight to be the educated empath. Because empathy was always my gift and by God, I swear my dad has worked to destroy the best parts of me. Love you sister. Stay strong and god bless you!!!
I shed my tears years ago walked away got myself back and raised my son. I’m now leaving and moving and yes he will not give closure. Always looking for someway to hurt me . Gotta keep going and working for myself and my son … 9 years later still nasty texts and emails and so on and so on. You are so true! Dig in deep and push yourself forward. Take care of yourself and be healthy. You are always spot on!
Yeah it was super creepy !!!!😳 He would throw himself on the ground begging and crying if i wanted a break, or a moment alone after a fight. Up till then I'd never seen anyone in real life behave that way. He would become so anxious if i spoke about making progress with or without each other and almost attempt to control how i should feel and what i should think about him and "us".. My gut was alwayssss trying to tell me something was off about him but At that time I couldn't fathom why someone would be that desperate to maintain such an obviously toxic relationship, yet was unable to detach. Once i went through, ended and slowly healed from that traumatic situation and decided to do the shadow work, I never could have done it without that experience.
💯🙏🇫🇷YES,, NO TEARS!! NO CRYING AT ALL,,, after our Father died in 2008,,, I flew from France,,, to Georgia,,, and The nurses told me ,, That my Father held on for me,,, I saw him& held his hand,,, he passed that evening,,, when returning to their home,,, My sister had NO EMOTION,,, just went about her routine with computer ,,, that nothing took place!!! IT WAS SHOCKING! NOW ,,, through Andrew's clairity what a NARC IS!! I NOW UNDERSTAND!! 😮🙏💯🫶🥰
Your key words, Andrew - “ I will continue to play this game as long as this person is giving something to me”. That’s the nugget of how they think. You are so right.
Fell for a hoover full of crocodile tears before I learned about narcissism…I finally left, and the attempted manipulation, full of tears, has been ridiculous, especially with my son… it has actually strengthened me as I go through the divorce process…
My ex Narc used to cry alot and especially when confronted on poor behavior. One day he cried a whole river of tears only to know That he had sired a kid with a Married woman and she was on his back. My description of a Narcissist is, Narcissist is an animal in a human body.
Three years of sleepless nights alone, probably enough tears to fill two buckets. The ruthless manipulation of children is unforgivable and the loss was almost unbearable. The hardest part right now is being able to see these people hiding behind smiles and charm looking for ways to destroy other people while being unnoticed. I think the covert techniques bother me more because of the forethought required. These demons are literally premeditating people's demise with a smile on their face.
Every word you said is true. Thank you for the facts! Not a single prrson I encountered told me the truth. They all ran off like roaches. Such a blessing.
I've seen a narc cry before. It was the most confusing thing I've ever seen because the conversation did not involve anything upsetting or emotional in any way. I asked him why he was crying. And he said, '"I don't know." They do not make any sense EVER.
I keep watching your videos and I’m terrified. My husband is a covert narcissist. We actually believed he is high functioning autistic but our counselor said he’s a sociopathic, covert narcissist. I am the loud one, have strong feelings about things and I’m just loud. He’s very quiet and feels sorry for himself and wants us all to feel sorry for him. Poor him…but then I feel like the bad guy! He never has any emotions. He never cries. But yet I feel like I’m going to die if I leave. So when I hear your videos, it makes me feel like I’M the narcissist????
I’ve begged him not to leave me in the past. I’m to the point where I just can’t do it anymore. He refuses to go to counseling. He thinks everything is my fault. But HE would NEVER beg ME to stay. He could care less that I’m leaving. And I’m terrified and sad.
@@Moose74491 not wanting to go to counseling or therapy etc is a HUGE red flag. The fact that you want to go, the fact that you want to work on things etc... no you most likely aren't but if you think you may be, ask a mental health professional. That's what I did. I'm not a narc but I do have combat related PTSD, ADHD and myoclonic bipolar which is a mild form of bipolar disorder, the 2 are probably symptoms of PTSD though... I'm actually very low on narcissism scale and no cluster b personality disorders. I am, however, not an easy person to deal with sometimes, so me and the narcissist it was...wild to say the least. Just a perspective from someone who has mental health issues that was with a covert narcissist. Oh, and yeah sometimes I watch his vids and I'm like... Dang I did that, but when I think back to what actually happened, it was usually an instance of reactive abuse.... I'd give them the benefit of the doubt but they'd take it and shake it, I'd react negatively, allowing the narc to pull me out of my character like they are so good at doing to people. A narc with a person like me, isn't a pretty site. Because my mental health issues come with their own set of challenges and those challenges challenge narcissistic people.
Glad I found this video! Just saw the Crying game of the narc I knew and let me tell you it's not only a movie. Told me he loved me - All fake, what a show! 🎥🍿
So after 6 weeks of no contact and me getting my life back on track. I was getting stronger emotionally and physically and withstanding the hoovers. After 6 weeks she got me one night by calling and leaving crying voicemails. We then got back together for 3 months and she manipulated and isolated me. We split up 5 days ago and a day later she tried to get me back to her place. Since then haven’t heard from her. These narcs are crazy!!! Stay strong!
Thank you Andrew. My sister is a Narc. She treated me like shit. I have been gone no contact. I am in a legal battle. Trying to deal with her with my attorney.
If a narc is showing emotion, watch out! The manipulation game is already underway..🙏☮️
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Showing emotion is a natural human-being behavior.. This is what normal people do. If you already know they're a narcissist,, the manipulation game has already been well underway. #GetOutStayOut shut the door and change the locks, draw the blinds and change your phone number.
I have to admit I smirked they think they're so clever lol
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone In my case, the main Narcissist was my mother. Because of that, I was again and again heaving relationships with them. At the moment I am alone and well, my mother always said, that I am too sensitive. Well, I do not know, how long it might take, because I have even now some days, where I am crying, because something of the past comes up, but I do not feel so terrible as back in July 2022 when I finally could cut the ties. She still tries to "come back" by sending letters, well I have to confess, that I throw them away. There are also less and less days, were I think about that. Thank you Andrew. And yes, such a mother is hell and I do not care, if people look at me in a strange way, when I say, that I do not have contact with her anymore. Have a nice day/evening. ❤
The narc made me into a third party and even when his partner found out, he didn’t want to end our relationship. The narc was completely unwilling to offer closure. I told myself that I need to stop hurting myself and the narc’s partner and walked away. No need for goodbye, I just blocked him on my phone and out of my life.
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Stay strong ♥️
Mine lied to me and said he had broken things off with her to start anew with me. I found that it wasn't true and distanced myself from the situation, he actually smiled while wiping away my tears when I was crying over how awful it felt to have been lied to about this and how much I never wanted to be that person.. it was exactly why we had never gotten together sooner because I would never help someone to cheat. I thought this person was my best friend who had over time had developed feelings for me and it turned out he was just a manipulative and evil monster!
Thank you Andrew 🎉❤🎉
Well done 💪
"They can't feel the way you feel" 🎯
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My narc ex cried on the phone when I said I was putting an end to his control. He was sobbing and actually said listen how upset I am . You can't fake this . Then within about 30 seconds went back to his normal voice.
The fact he said you can't fake this said everything.
They won’t console you either when you lost need it. They might look at and see you as pathetic and weak even without saying so, even though we all know that’s not true.
@@Mike_CosentinoMike, it's so interesting. I remember last year my aunt passed away and we had made plans in advance to go to the funeral, and on the same day she said "I'm not going, I have a psychiatrist appointment" and then to avoid any sort of confrontation because I knew she was full of shit and was lying to me I just left and we all know now that she didn't go to a psychiatrist appointment that because she's a narcissist they can't have feelings so deep like we can!!!! Smh these people are such psychos!!!!
@@Mike_Cosentinoanother thing, I remember she said to me that "if you get sick to the point where your vomiting and need help don't ask me because I don't do well with that kind of stuff" wow!!!!! She was a psycho and she said her Mom does the same thing to her Dad, I remember when her Dad and Mom went on vacation to a ski resort her Dad got injured very badly and tore ligaments in both legs and her Mom continued skiing while he's on the bed trying to heal!!!!! Wow!!!!! Now i know how psychotic and evil these narcissists are!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!
They don't laugh either. Fake laugh if anything
They put you in a uncomfortable situation and smirk
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He never laughed, it was rare and when he did, it sounded so fake. I wondered often if he knew how to genuinely laugh. Rarely ever smiled. He was always on, always go time, always on the take. The most I ever heard him laugh was when he was laughing at me. That wasn't real either. I felt after a while it was part of the trap. I just wanted to make him happy but nothing is ever good enough. He is the most unhappy person I've ever met.
No sense of humour
So true!!!
Twice in 35 years he shed a tear. First at his mothers funeral. Second when I left him for a week, acting suicidal and begged me to come back. First one may have been genuine..second one was crocodile tears to manipulate me for the next 20 years.
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Omg 20 years I feel like I dodged a bullet fr
Suicidal threats....yep. Manipulative. His youngest has used that tactic as well. I'm not buying it anymore.
The rabbit hole to a nightmare
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😌
yup!
I was crying because my father had just died of a massive heart attack. I was yelled at, because I was heartbroken.❣️
I had a similar experience ...sorry that happened to you.
They are just planting into their own karma. God have mercy on them!
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Cruel.
❤
I so relate with you.❤ 🙏 ❤
Been there.
I was grieving what was not real🤔💖💖💖💖sending love and healing strength to everyone,🌺💖🌺💖🙏🙏🙏🙏
Andrew, partially thanks to you, I'm feeling stronger and my fog is lifting. Ten weeks out now.
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Yes! They USE their tears to MANIPULATE! 💯🎯🎯
Hope you had a WONDERFUL day, Andrew! The scenery behind you looks lush and beautiful! ☀️🌲🌳🤩😉😇❤️💜❤️💜
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Oh my I told a narcissist to take their pity party to a therapist...then they went ballistic and tried to turn others against me...whatever. I'm Done with them!
Oh my goshhh!!!!! During my marriage her the narc I told her that she should go to counseling because she needs help and then she said "I DONT NEED COUNSELLING YOUR THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP"!!! "IM SICK OF EVERYONE TRYING TO CONTROL ME"!!!! aka rage fit towards me when I tried to help. Funny thing is, we ended up going to counseling and the counselor who is a Christian said that shes the one who is causing all the issues in the marriage and that I'm not doing anything wrong!!!! Wow, and then when that session was done she asked me "do you think I'm good enough for you" and I just said "what do you think?!!!" To avoid confrontation!!! These people are indeed psychotic!!!!
the idiot narcissist likes to use their "charm" as a tool for influence and manipulation to their advantage, not for making a genuine emotional connection with people.
it's extremely cringe when the narcissist's fake crying (or any other manipulation tactic) abruptly stops. and they look at you with a kind of fear mixed with hate, because they suddenly realize that you've figured them out.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone thanks for this video. it's an under-discussed topic. narcissists don't know what feelings to correctly feel. they will use feelings in whatever way that they think can benefit from, without any concern or regard for the other person.
Steven, I've got to confess...I luv how you begin your comments with the idiot narc...makes me laugh every time, don't change it!
Your content is always on point &
quite helpful.
Good day to you, Marie
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Ive seen that face, its hilariuos
On point!👍
This is such an underrated topic. Think about any & all the times the narcissist consoled you when you felt upset. I’m almost certain those times were little to none- least in my experience.
Often, they’ll only shed tears AFTER the damage is done. They get super emotional during the holiday period because they’re guilt ridden and lonely and maybe even ruminating over your loss. But they certainly weren’t there for you during the healing path. They wouldn’t lift a finger to help us though- even though I never ignored the narcissist .
Some even go as far as to post themselves crying online on social media for likes and sympathy views- only to delete said video later on, thinking no one will remember.
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" Often, they’ll only shed tears AFTER the damage is done."-- experienced that before. The shallow crying was the "force field" you were not allowed
to enter and get reasons and answers for their bad behavior. Whew! I'm so happy I'm away from the "1001 Ways to Manipulate You" Play that ended its
Broadway run.
It’s been about 10 years since I divorced, my covert narc ex wife. She 59’ sits in her recliner chair flipping Netflix, eating nonstop.Fat.Miserable.Unhappy. She has burned everybody in her life. She’s made her bed now. She hast to lay in it. So my Daughters 33, 24, tell me she lives in deep regret for doing me the way she did and losing me. I have no feeling for her at all. I’m done and on with my life.😎
Noticed a similarity in what the ex narc who was also a dangerous covert narcistic.they loved to sit on ye couch eat junk food ,eat everything non stop .watch movies that make no sense more like the Bollywood witchcraft and sadistic tourtires pornograpoc on his phone , frown miserable and just smelly . So glad I am out of there ...
When I was thirty, with three small children, my mother died suddenly. The day she passed, I was crying as I lay down at bedtime. Something about my crying upset him. He angrily grabbed me and forced “intimacy” on me until I was sobbing. When it was over, he said “ There- now you have something to cry about. You should thank me “ A part of me disappeared that night.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hope you've had healing.
What a monster! So sorry ....
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So sorry for what you were subjected to.❣️
Yes, the Hoovering narc would burst into tears…it was so manipulative and unstable. The Devaluing narc-same guy, different day-only had contempt, belittling, and disgust for me. He’d treat me like he didn’t even know who I was.
Discard, start again…
I can relate with my narcissistic family member who’d often try to hoover me during the holidays and around my own birthday. Yes, she’d go out of her way again I went NC to stalk my new address/es, even though the narc relative has long been blocked 📱 and been warned several times by my lawyer 🗒️ to stay away from me. The narc respects no boundaries and they don’t want you to heal. So with that said, the narcissist’s tears mean nothing to me. Can’t say that I feel sorry for somebody who doesn’t reciprocate or only cries and whines after the fact.
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When I got sick he would say “You are fine just get up and get some fresh air”
No empathy … I got out or as we got older I was visualizing elder abuse just waiting for me to die… just no love at all - nothing - 55 days out Free … left Valentine’s Day - starting to feel again
Its scary they somehow cry without tears!!😧
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I've seen it, their very strange disturbed dysfunctional but evil people. Stay no contact and grey rock.
From London Ontario Canada
Never show your tears to narcissist. For that you have a bathroom or any other, I should say lonely place where the narcissist won't see you cry.
Proverbs 17:13 If anyone returns evil for good, evil will never depart from his house
Thanks for describing crocodile tears.. the narc here has cried A LOT over the years.. probably more than me.. I used to cry a lot but I think I’m all cried out.. enduring what I’ve endured has caused a bit of numbness in me.. many times I thought the narc’s tears were real .. they probably were in those moments.. they might not have empathy, but they might feel things in the moment.. but only for that moment.. but in the past year and a half I have felt that some of his tears were fake.. i could see it in his eyes and other facial expressions.. it was carelessness.. I appreciate you talking about grieving the living too.. no one understands this.. whether it’s a human, animal, relationship, or any type of loss.. it’s a real thing and not many people address this.. thank you for doing so.. when a narc cries.. watch the other emotions and their facial expressions... it can reveal a lot!.. thanks Andrew.. you revealed a lot of truths today 💜💜🪻🪻
Welcome..💜💯😉🙏
The worst part is getting older and having health problems. Running a fever of 102 for 4 day's. He finally took me to ER today. He couldn't stand sitting there with the machines going off and beeping. He told me it was always about me and disappeared for 2 hours. As I laid there crying all alone. A sweet lady came in and prayed for me. They abandon you because, they are selfish and the world revolves around them.
21 years of marriage and I am healing.
I never thought I could go this long? I am stronger than he ever thought.
All true. They definitely use their tears as their strategy and they belittle and shame those who shed real tears. Beautiful background tonight 🙏 🌳 ❤
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I never thought I could put myself first until I accepted what was going on . I deserve my own world.
My ex would triangulate me with my own masculinity. Whenever she abused me, if I reacted, she would throw the "you're weak" look and I'd be forced to suck it up and not say anything..it gave her free reign to abuse without having to worry about repercussions or me showing emotion..When I look back it was demoralizing but that fog and her control was something only a narc survivor would understand...no wonder we cry so much afterwards 🙏☮️
You cried, possibly because your body was protecting you. Nothing to do with fake Narc tears, but from a Harvard Health study-" emotional tears (which flush stress hormones and other toxins out of our system), that potentially offers the most health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins.-" --- You were relieving your own Stress.
I understand completely.
Thank you Andrew. So spot on! Your words are so confirming. Low vibrational creatures indeed! Blessings from Australia.🥰😇🥰
Welcome..😌💜🙏
I have witnessed a female narc with No tears & supposedly crying... it was strange!
Learning about narcissist types is an eye opener & its a reason to keep your eyes open. Empathy shared with them, may leave you in shock at the lack of theirs! Blessings 🌈🎀😘
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2nd rate actors. They need to study the profession. One actor said by pulling her nostril
hair out-- Bingo! Easier to shed 'real ( fake)' tears.👃🤏😢 Correction- That was Burt Reynolds.
@marieeakin8534 excellent comment. narcissists are def academy award winning actors lol.
-cheers, steven
My ex texted me he was crying all the time after my breakup and I thought well I would cry too if I where you because you lost me, the one that was a loving beautiful soul who was giving and giving and giving.
You are appreciated.
More than you know. Thank you for the awareness.
Welcome..😌💜🙏
What comes to my mind when they start the hoover is that hoovers really suck. Great video Andrew.
Good one!👍
THANKS ANDREW, KEEP THE FAITH.❤❤❤
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There is no closure from them, we are just things to put on the shelf to be pick up and use again and again! Thankful, I have good friends. They tried to tell me. But I was in the fog, to blind to see and to deaf to hear. Thank You Andrew for your devotion on helping us! Namaste 🙏 💜💐
Welcome..💜🙏😌💯
Oh I remember the tears at the airport when she was about to fly back to MA, or when she called me out of the blue one night from her camp in ME bawling her eyes out and saying “Baby I love you so much, I miss you so much”. I look back at THAT particular one and think “Were you just trying to manipulate me emotionally, or who did you just cheat on me with?” Thanks Andrew!
Usually when I started to confront my ex husband for his behavior, he would cry . I would feel so guilty that I ended up apologizing to him. I see now how it was all manipulation and control. I’m thrilled that he is gone from my life. God help whoever he is in a relationship with now.
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There you are!!!! Sending yoy Monday hugs
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I LOVE that: "Low Vibrational Character".
Thank you, Andrew!
Saved and Free from the Narcissist. With love from Corpus Christi Texas.
I've been around those who dont cry at all with no emotions at all. I thought that was weird. I'm a emotional person myself.
That is weird and know what you mean. To have empathy, one's mirror neurons cannot be encrusted with grime.
That is announcing to you, that they wouldn't care much if you encountered pain or serious trouble. Nope- don't need that type in your life.
That's why I like listening to narcdaily bc it's real and raw truth straight out the oven ..
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He never comforted me when I was upset. Even if he asked if I was ok by text if I replied like 6 hours later he would then ignore me for weeks after then come back as if nothing happened. 🤷♀️ Then they would come up with their own sob story then go cold as ice!
Yes they can be a big cry baby.. to pull your heart strings.. they're crying crocodile tears, and they're only crying for themselves that their wicked selfish ends haven't been achieved
No tears, no remorse, never said sorry.... emotion less. Empty void. If I got emotional at an appropriate time he would say ' stop it it's making me feel uncomfortable ' WHAT ?! Black empty hole....evil.
"That makes me sad." (After long pause of staring and not crying) -My ex covert narcissistic ex-wife. 🐊🙄😒
Whenever I cried, he would say “I’ll just leave you be..”
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Right on target as usual, Andrew! The narc ex I had used to ridicule me when I cried after he hurt me, then to add insult to injury, he would "fakey-hug" me! I would be too physically weak to shove him away like I wanted to, but I wouldn't respond! Finally, later in the relationship after making false accusations (and when I no longer cared), I responded coldly to him with the truth, and what would happen? He burst into tears! Although I no longer loved him, I respected him enough to NOT "fakey-hug"!
Thank you for sharing..🙏💜😌
They can cry but only when they see the consequences actually affect them for a change...
Thank you for this video, Andrew. 100% true, thank you for the many help suggestions within.
How many times I cried and grieved over a relationship that never was and a person who didn’t exist.
The fact that it wasn’t real made it hurt more with utter shame and humiliation.
I would sit across from him at a table and try to look into his eyes to try and fix things between us. He must have been laughing so hard over that.
When you try to be mature and tell them certain things are bothering you, then they have simply learned it is bothering you. Not only do they not correct the behavior, they continue it or ramp it up. They are not trying to have a reciprocal loving exchange with you, they are trying to destroy the relationship…..and destroy you.
I used to be very irritable , sensitive and would cry so many days every single time they would provoke me , they would hurt me intentionally and then minimise her cruelty saying it's nothing that I am over reacting. They sure are evil monsters ..then at some point they wild confuse me by saying I am manipulative because I cry every single time they hurt me. Who dies that to a soul .. sadistic
Fake tears, could turn them on an off when it suited him but when i felt vulnerable in the relationship and shed a tear....he would just look at me with a cold expression and then the smirk. Very weird altogether. Someone once remarked to me, that when he cried it was for attention in front if an audience and called them "crocodile tears". How right they were! Thanks Andrew....great video as always....sound advice! 🙏
This is so true, she would always seem to attach herself way toooo close physically when she would see me cry and I always felt weird about it. I would back away looking at her as if she were nuts and she would actually reach out to me trying to touch me! I am not one to be touched unless I give permission. Crazy neighbors. She even followed me into an elevator to be physically close, I finally told her to back the F off, very aggressively. She just stood there looking at me, I stormed way.
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Yep. When my mom's father died, (my grandfather) I remember vividly that she never dropped a tear ever. I remember thinking as a young child how odd my mother was. I didnt understand it. But as I grew up, I came to realize who and what she is and was. She wasnt there when my grandmother died. She didnt care. There is no point in being around people like this. They are a waste of your time. They disappoint constantly. You cant bond with people like this. That's why you must stay away from them, even if they are fam. When dealing with fam, your subconscious your unconscious will trick you thinking its fam and love. Its not. You cant trust yourself. Stay away from them. They Hoover to finish you off.
Thank you Andrew ❤
You've really hit the nail on the head again in this video!
He switched on the crocodile tears early on in the 'relationship' whilst talking about his 'sad past' therefore reeling me in on the empathy I felt for him.
Glad I eventually realised that this was a toxic relationship and no longer do I let him be part of my life. Xx😊
This is all so true 💯 they will do anything to get back in ...just to discard you again..please don't fall for the crying games
I dated a woman 20 years ago who was dating multiple guys at the same time, one night at a bar she secretly invited her friend to hit on me, turned out i got set up!!!! Crying games omg!!!!! OK for her to date multiple guys at same time...Not ok for me to do the same. Smear campaign "he is a cheater"...i was being abused in every way possible. "Im going to tell my friends about you" This woman is now single with 2 kids and has no held a job in 20 years.
Once again , I confirm this info, is true. Narcs cant feel and thats why every emotion is an act.
'Me, myself and I', i couldnt believe what I saw, and it took some time to see the consequences..
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It is frankly shocking how callous they are. When I shed plenty tears, she wasn't able to show even a glimmer of compassion or understanding. Just went straight back to old supply and acted as if nothing had happened. That is pure mental illness. Another VG video and relevant topic to bring out our human vulnerabilities and how we should deal with them.
Even though I finished and walked out never to look back ,,it did hurt and I cried constantly for weeks,,,then I got many lightbulb moments,,,that's when I stopped crying,,,,I felt at peace when I understood it all,,,💡👏💖💖🙏🙏
Repost ( just sharing info)-- You cried, possibly because your body was protecting you. Nothing to do with the fake Narc tears, but from a Harvard Health study-" emotional tears (which flush stress hormones and other toxins out of our system), that potentially offers the most health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins.-" That the naturalness of crying could be so healthy is good to know.
@@jhavajoe3792yes I believe that it makes sense,!!😊
@jhavajoe3792
Good info Joe...thanks for the info!
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18:44 "And the crying games of the narcissist will go on.. as long as they have fuel sources who believe in the falseness of the mask, as long as they have people who haven't healed, as long as they have people who are vulnerable.."
As long as they go on somewhere else and stop darkening my doorstep. I can't save the new supply. Nobody was able to save me.. I had to live it and learn, I rejected advice from those who tried to warn me and I lost many relationships through isolation and smear campaign (that's actually a good thing to weed out those who were not on my side)...and unfortunately the new supply needs to walk those same shoes. God help them, my heart goes out to them. I hope they see it before they're in too deep.
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horrible nasty people no emotions if you sense a red flag act on it sorry to say i never did its why am on here giving advice i felt like my life was not own felt awfull around the narcissist could never understand why until discard clarity came to me and i knew nothing was my fault just remember people if you start losing yourself its the narcissist controlling you walk away dont be controlled
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Thank you for your inspirational words Andrew!
Twenty years of crocodile tears, followed by more tears for the benefit of others as I left him. And yes, I experienced the falling to the floor, grabbing my legs to stop me from leaving, right after he raged at me and terrified me so badly I thought I was about to die by his hands. I went completely cold, which I did not understand at the time. I thought it was just fear then, but now I believe it was more than that - it was some kind of inner realization about the falsehood of his begging for forgiveness in that moment. . . which unfortunately, stayed subconscious for another eight years until I figured out I was being abused. Five months out and healing now.
I was getting so healthy before the new year. Now I've never felt lower. I cried a couple times today because I feel like there's no way out of this. I've made mistakes in the past,over reacting etc but I worked endlessly to heal. I get discarded a lot. Because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't find work, can't start my insurance business to become independent. I feel lost and trapped and full of pain. I try to be tough because i feel like nobody would understand me. I've shown empathy for crocodile tears many times, but cone time I break down, I'm treated like everything is my fault. Anytime I speak my peace, I'm yelled at through text, if I block the number i get texted from the second phone,if that's blocked I get emails to all of my accounts about how bad of a person I am. Sorry for the long winded post. I just want the pain to stop
Dearest, we do all know that pain. It's so real! So deep! The setbacks are to be expected, so expect them. IT'S normal and YOU'RE normal. Knowing that is a good place to start!
It's been almost two years since my narc Brother left my home. His violent treatment kept me walking on eggshells and fearing for my life. He destroyed everything he could, knowing I had been spending years making my home more fit for a purchaser. I cannot tell you the full impact of the devastation he left behind. It left me with PTSD so bad I couldn't function, total paralysis! I am almost back to normal, but unbelievably weak. I have to be kind to myself and encourage myself by congratulating the ol' girl for whatever I get done.
When I discovered what was wrong with me, it lead me to what was wrong with him. He has every marking of a psychopathic narcissist. Talking to his first (of at least five) wives she told me to be so very careful around him because "he's dangerous".
I blocked him. NO phone calls. NO texts. I don't know how to block email but if I see his name I don't even read the heading, I 0:05 just hit delete. That has saved my sanity!
Unfortunately he developed a friendship with a good man at Church. I have to be careful not to let this dear man know any of my private doings. My Brother calls him a couple times a week. He is really using him to monitor my life!
Last week my friend told me that someone is loaning his car to my Brother so he can drive from Texas to California for our Family Reunion. He plans to stop in Colorado to pick me up so I can ride with him!
Um, NO! NO! NO! NO!
I've already driven several thousand toxin filled miles with Brother. I loaned him my deceased Husband's truck for eight weeks. To this day I haven't had finances to repair the extensive damage he caused to it in that short time.
I've worked very hard at healing. I'm NOT going back. He almost killed me once and there will be no second chance. Besides that, my whole family is toxic! I'm NOT going to expose myself to any more of that at a Family Reunion! I still have life to live!
I'm telling you this because NO CONTACT is self preservation. Please, pease, please believe that this is true. As long as you let them into your life, they will drive their fangs into you. They CANT help it. It's their nature.
You don't deserve that treatment. You are not here to be someone else's toy, or trinket, or rag! You are a precious human being with a God given destiny! That infernal Narc is NOT GOD! If you permit them a millimeter they will take a thousand miles at your expense. Free yourself from the emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual slavery they have, have had or plan to have you entrapped in! Embrace all the freedom you can gain for yourself: the freedom of the children of God. You are created for that! Blessings, dear one!❤
Thank you very much for your valuable content 🙏🙏🙏 💐@@donnahalsted7718
@@donnahalsted7718 @donnahalsted7718 I'm really sorry you had to deal with that. That sounds horrible. It's hard to be in the moment and remain present around these people. You can't speak your mind or express yourself at all. I'm glad you're standing up for yourself. I'm proud of you. You sound very strong and incredibly resilient. I've personally been verbally abused for so long there were times I was pushed to suicidal thoughts(not really wanting to die but wanting the pain to die, to end THAT part of me) and instead of doing that I put holes in the drywall. Which are fixed now and repainted. My problem is it's my father and he knows every button to push. He's the type who starts fights just to record you and say "see look how crazy they are" during a reactive moment. I made the told him about my sexual abuse and he gave me the infamous blank stare. I unfortunately lowered myself to his level at times, but I know better now. I've always been extremely empathetic to the point I actually tried to help people heal. Now It's just cognitive empathy because I'm starting to feel numb. One of my remedies is laughing. I love to laugh. I love connecting with people deeply. But this makes it so hard to stay in the moment in public. When I told him about 6 or 7 years ago, I was feeling like ending everything,he literally told me "then do it" now he treats me like I'm supposed to forget that. Last year he told me he wanted me to hate myself. No contact is the only time I have peace. I lost count how many times he puffed out his chest and got up in my face. I'm a man so that doesn't sit well with me and immediately puts me in fight or flight. Well I'm a Fighter when I have to be. I've looked at therapy but at 100+ an hour and not accepting medicaid, my only choice is to pray I get a job. After blocking him. His flying monkey my brother calls, whom I also have blocked since he couldn't keep my favor request private. I thought I was a narcissist for a while. Then I read a ton and watched videos explaining what abuse survivors reactions are like in the moment. Even from healing self aware narcs themselves. Reading the Bible has helped understanding too. God bless you and stay strong! Thank you for your kindness!! Keep loving yourself!
@@donnahalsted7718 I had typed out a very lengthy response, but this nonsense algorithm deleted it immediately. So All I will say is I love how strong and resilient you are. I am proud of you for standing up for yourself! Every time I meet someone kind like yourself it gives me a little more hope and helps me feel love in my heart. I've looked at therapy but at over 100 dollars an hour it's not an option because they don't accept medicaid. and I am not about to trust government mental health care. They have a history of abuse themselves. One day I see myself in therapy, because I need a professional to talk to. Too much to unload on anyone really. It's embarrassing and I feel ashamed talking about it because of how I'm gaslighted for expressing myself. My father and I can't live together because he expects me to accept his verbal murder. and in this economy without a job, I could be homeless in the future. This is a person who will intentionally push your buttons, just to record your reaction and use it against you. Always one sided. Grade A Crazy making. So I embrace my crazy now and I still have the ability to laugh, to empathize(even though sometimes I feel numb) and most definitely love. You're definitely a beautiful soul I can tell. I truly appreciate your response. Sorry for the lengthy reply. God Bless you!!!
@@donnahalsted7718 Mind you, all of this treatment started because I would not blindly accept unwarranted advice, in addition I stood up for myself. Which twice resulted in ME being arrested because there were false police reports filed. In fact, in court, my dad had the audacity to crack a joke to the judge! Millions have experienced what I have, so knowing that helps me feel less alone. I've endured about 15 years of it and I'm afraid of becoming like him. So I fight to be the educated empath. Because empathy was always my gift and by God, I swear my dad has worked to destroy the best parts of me. Love you sister. Stay strong and god bless you!!!
I shed my tears years ago walked away got myself back and raised my son. I’m now leaving and moving and yes he will not give closure. Always looking for someway to hurt me . Gotta keep going and working for myself and my son … 9 years later still nasty texts and emails and so on and so on. You are so true! Dig in deep and push yourself forward. Take care of yourself and be healthy. You are always spot on!
Yeah it was super creepy !!!!😳
He would throw himself on the ground begging and crying if i wanted a break, or a moment alone after a fight. Up till then I'd never seen anyone in real life behave that way. He would become so anxious if i spoke about making progress with or without each other and almost attempt to control how i should feel and what i should think about him and "us".. My gut was alwayssss trying to tell me something was off about him but At that time I couldn't fathom why someone would be that desperate to maintain such an obviously toxic relationship, yet was unable to detach.
Once i went through, ended and slowly healed from that traumatic situation and decided to do the shadow work, I never could have done it without that experience.
Thank you for sharing..😌😌🙏💜
Andrew. I love when you said "I've been down this rodeo". I don't know if you meant to say it or not, but I'm going to start saying that! Haha 🤠
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wow love the scenery so lush they will use crocodile tears to manipulate us hi handsome man 😘
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Andrew, thank you for addressing their lack of empathy. They are so jealous when we love others ❣️
Welcome..😌😌🙏
Yes it’s a dark place we didn’t know excited even if you see a lot of bad behavior when you look backwards…
💯🙏🇫🇷YES,, NO TEARS!! NO CRYING AT ALL,,, after our Father died in 2008,,, I flew from France,,, to Georgia,,, and The nurses told me ,, That my Father held on for me,,, I saw him& held his hand,,, he passed that evening,,, when returning to their home,,, My sister had NO EMOTION,,, just went about her routine with computer ,,, that nothing took place!!! IT WAS SHOCKING! NOW ,,, through Andrew's clairity what a NARC IS!! I NOW UNDERSTAND!! 😮🙏💯🫶🥰
Oh yes, they cry. They shed tears because of self-pity, self-pity and self-pity. It is always all about them.
Your key words, Andrew - “ I will continue to play this game as long as this person is giving something to me”. That’s the nugget of how they think. You are so right.
Thank you Andrew 🙏 Namaste
Namaste..😌🙌🙏
From one Andrew to another. God Bless you sir. The work of God flows thru you.
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Thank you Andrew ❤
Fell for a hoover full of crocodile tears before I learned about narcissism…I finally left, and the attempted manipulation, full of tears, has been ridiculous, especially with my son… it has actually strengthened me as I go through the divorce process…
Great message with nothing but solid TRUTH ❤
Thanks again Andrew 🤗
My ex Narc used to cry alot and especially when confronted on poor behavior. One day he cried a whole river of tears only to know That he had sired a kid with a Married woman and she was on his back. My description of a Narcissist is, Narcissist is an animal in a human body.
I'm realizing they have no good feelings. They're like ice monsters in human bodies.
No crying, just misty. Heard this was his reaction on multiple occasions.
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Three years of sleepless nights alone, probably enough tears to fill two buckets. The ruthless manipulation of children is unforgivable and the loss was almost unbearable. The hardest part right now is being able to see these people hiding behind smiles and charm looking for ways to destroy other people while being unnoticed. I think the covert techniques bother me more because of the forethought required. These demons are literally premeditating people's demise with a smile on their face.
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❤❤❤ Andrew TY again; love the insight... so very true..🙏🙏🙏
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Muchas gracias Andrew, listening to you is what i really need right now...my long distance wife tore me up, in all kinds of narcissist ways.
Welcome..💜😌🙏
Every word you said is true. Thank you for the facts! Not a single prrson I encountered told me the truth. They all ran off like roaches.
Such a blessing.
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Love that passion you speak with and the way, no extra words only truth.
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I've seen a narc cry before. It was the most confusing thing I've ever seen because the conversation did not involve anything upsetting or emotional in any way. I asked him why he was crying. And he said, '"I don't know." They do not make any sense EVER.
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They cry once they know its all over.....
I keep watching your videos and I’m terrified. My husband is a covert narcissist. We actually believed he is high functioning autistic but our counselor said he’s a sociopathic, covert narcissist. I am the loud one, have strong feelings about things and I’m just loud. He’s very quiet and feels sorry for himself and wants us all to feel sorry for him. Poor him…but then I feel like the bad guy! He never has any emotions. He never cries. But yet I feel like I’m going to die if I leave. So when I hear your videos, it makes me feel like I’M the narcissist????
I’ve begged him not to leave me in the past. I’m to the point where I just can’t do it anymore. He refuses to go to counseling. He thinks everything is my fault. But HE would NEVER beg ME to stay. He could care less that I’m leaving. And I’m terrified and sad.
The confusion is normal, how you’re feeling is normal and a part of your healing. Take good care of yourself, keep watching and save yourself ❤
@@Moose74491 not wanting to go to counseling or therapy etc is a HUGE red flag. The fact that you want to go, the fact that you want to work on things etc... no you most likely aren't but if you think you may be, ask a mental health professional. That's what I did. I'm not a narc but I do have combat related PTSD, ADHD and myoclonic bipolar which is a mild form of bipolar disorder, the 2 are probably symptoms of PTSD though... I'm actually very low on narcissism scale and no cluster b personality disorders. I am, however, not an easy person to deal with sometimes, so me and the narcissist it was...wild to say the least. Just a perspective from someone who has mental health issues that was with a covert narcissist.
Oh, and yeah sometimes I watch his vids and I'm like... Dang I did that, but when I think back to what actually happened, it was usually an instance of reactive abuse.... I'd give them the benefit of the doubt but they'd take it and shake it, I'd react negatively, allowing the narc to pull me out of my character like they are so good at doing to people. A narc with a person like me, isn't a pretty site. Because my mental health issues come with their own set of challenges and those challenges challenge narcissistic people.
Glad I found this video! Just saw the Crying game of the narc I knew and let me tell you it's not only a movie. Told me he loved me - All fake, what a show! 🎥🍿
I learned not to cry because crying always made it worse.
They use tears to control others
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🤴 👑 🦁 🤴 👑 Love you brother
I love your face Andrew and your content. 💜☀️ You’re a beautiful healer.
You are so right about this! Thank you for the confirmation! ❤
Welcome..🙏💜😌
Very accurate ❤ description- thank you!
So after 6 weeks of no contact and me getting my life back on track. I was getting stronger emotionally and physically and withstanding the hoovers. After 6 weeks she got me one night by calling and leaving crying voicemails. We then got back together for 3 months and she manipulated and isolated me. We split up 5 days ago and a day later she tried to get me back to her place. Since then haven’t heard from her. These narcs are crazy!!! Stay strong!
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Thank you Andrew. My sister is a Narc. She treated me like shit. I have been gone no contact. I am in a legal battle. Trying to deal with her with my attorney.
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Andrew you are a messenger !
You don’t know how much you’ve helped me, thank you.
Welcome..😌💜🙏