WHEN YOU ARE TRIANGULATED

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
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ความคิดเห็น • 417

  • @susanwilcox5763
    @susanwilcox5763 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    The number one tactic I was subjected to. 6 months no contact now. I was triangulated with his downstairs tenant on a daily basis. It didn’t stop with her. He used social media “friendships” or interests to triangulate me. It is, as you say Andrew, very, very nasty. He tried to make me compete with these other women for HIM. It was manipulation- all the while we was getting a lot of stuff from me - money, narcissistic supply, love and attention making me have to work harder and harder to outcompete what he said he was getting from other women. He was acting like a gigolo - collecting resources from women. Disgusting!! He discarded me five days before Christmas. I never looked back. 6 months no contact. I blocked him and all his “friends” on everything.

    • @michaeloneill5877
      @michaeloneill5877 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You're strategy is bang on, dump his ass and NEVER LOOK BACK :•)

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      BEST MOVE EVER..

    • @Justme7111
      @Justme7111 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m sorry that happend to you 😮‍💨 we all need to heal from these demons

  • @ltsammons
    @ltsammons ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Triangulation is just mean and cruel. Thank you Andrew for your informative videos.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Welcome 😌🙏💯

    • @bradracette189
      @bradracette189 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It really is. And my narc ex is now trying to use me to triangulate her new partner. So very sad.

  • @JamesNGames
    @JamesNGames ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Narcissistic triangulation - the art of creating drama and tension by pitting people against each other so that the narcissist can bask in the glow of attention and adoration. It's like they're the conductor of a symphony, with their ego as the soloist and their victims as the instruments. But beware, because in this orchestra, there are no winners - only the narcissist who gets to play the role of the maestro.

  • @lios583
    @lios583 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I was quiet, but
    I was not blind.
    ❤🙏

  • @susanruggiero589
    @susanruggiero589 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Triangulation is terrible. My ex-narc always got me with this one especially. If I responded the whole mess was turned back onto me. Every time. If I said nothing and ignored that bad abusive behavior I was being groomed, conditioned, basically allowing it. Pure evil. No contact is the only way to go. 💙🙏🏻💪🏻🙌🏻

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      😌💯💪🙌

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Got to move in completely different circles, whenever possible. 😢

    • @Donnahodgins
      @Donnahodgins ปีที่แล้ว +11

      No contact. The only way to close the door, because they never will.

    • @joycehogan6861
      @joycehogan6861 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      First awareness of a sicko character was due to triangulation

  • @mylah5406
    @mylah5406 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Sane people get their entertainment needs met by watching tv, narcissists get theirs by creating drama and chaos between unsuspecting people

  • @nadjamedjedovic5313
    @nadjamedjedovic5313 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Love the facial expression that follows «think about that for a minute»

  • @melmovingforward
    @melmovingforward ปีที่แล้ว +36

    They can also triangulate a romantic partner with their own family. Say, their sister or brother. For example, having conversations that they should be having with their spouse with their sister. This creates a conflict between the sister and the spouse. When the spouse questions the behaviour, the spouse will be accused of “asking the narcissist to choose between them and their family”. This creates an insidious cycle of psychological abuse and chaos among family resulting in trauma. It took me years to realize what was going on. Stay away from toxic people

    • @jesperandersson889
      @jesperandersson889 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@emilykathleenn unless you are the middle-man - blows up the narc!!!! a deep idea is this is the trauma bond, still you need to abandon ship (most of the time)

    • @Meii652
      @Meii652 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My narc and his sister were both narcs.. it was a nightmare. They often acted Like a married couple instead of siblings… she always tried to drive a wedge between him and me

    • @tanyaramos7793
      @tanyaramos7793 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or does it with their young adult/teen children. Went from loving me to not.

  • @theofficialnikkisnews
    @theofficialnikkisnews ปีที่แล้ว +35

    My mother-in-law is a covert narcissist, and she is the queen of triangulation.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😉😉💯

    • @Ginabina76
      @Ginabina76 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I had it from 2 sides.. my mother and mil!stay strong!

    • @emilywilson7308
      @emilywilson7308 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Mine was too! She managed to get all the siblings to hate each other and compete for her adoration. So sick!

    • @emilywilson7308
      @emilywilson7308 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@alancarter1213 That is horrible! My husband was the favored child in his family and his mom threw it in everyone's face with 8 siblings! Everyone hated him and he was really sad because it wasn't his fault. Hard to believe that parents could be so evil. I think they get excited from having so much power.
      I'm sorry that happened to you. Ridiculous!🌻

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Its great that you know when she starts,just tell her you have a Dr.appt.or dinner to prepare..

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Triangulation is awful, it has destroyed almost all of my relationships - with family, alleged friends and even clients and work colleagues . The narcisist has destroyed my entire social circle. Everything you said is true. Thank you Andrew.

  • @danbaldry1925
    @danbaldry1925 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    it’s a tactic to increase anxiety and attention - to enhance the supply they are getting and potentially set up a monkey branch .. all at the cost of your sanity

  • @mostHigh23
    @mostHigh23 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Man oh man... I can remember those days like it was yesterday 😢. Absolutely demeaning 😢

  • @sototallyover2359
    @sototallyover2359 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Triangulation is when, you find yourself "in a conversation" that you have never had with this person.

  • @Divinely_Guided444
    @Divinely_Guided444 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Very true. In the beginning of what I thought was a friendship, the narcissist would keep me chatting online for hours, and when I said I have other messages to get back to, they'd say something like "oh no, you're all mine today." Then after disagreements later on, they'd try to get me jealous by saying, "well they have other friends to talk with who appreciate them". Everything is a game and a form of mind control with these individuals.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      🙏💯😉

    • @gratefultobehere
      @gratefultobehere ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A game we don’t need to spend energy playing. Wow. Sorry that happened. ❤🙏

    • @Divinely_Guided444
      @Divinely_Guided444 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@gratefultobehere that's mild, compared to the awful things they said when triggered. The last outburst we had, I was called evil, Satan, and other expletives I would never mention on here. I thought decades of abuse from the narcissist husband was bad...not even close to the short encounter with this person.

    • @gratefultobehere
      @gratefultobehere ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Divinely_Guided444 believe me, the same playbook was used for me. Pretty certain for most of us here (which is why we all speak one another’s language and understand). Those same phrases. Same. And it’s all projection I do believe. Super thankful to be away from all that now. Happy for you too.

    • @Divinely_Guided444
      @Divinely_Guided444 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@gratefultobehere absolutely!! Each of our stories is our own unique experience, yet so similar.
      Have a great evening beautiful soul! ❤️🌹✨️

  • @JH-td4mn
    @JH-td4mn ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The Narcissist would even triangulate me with myself. For instance he'd say something like "Somebody told me to shop in this supermarket and I'd save loads of money" and I'd be thinking "Yeah, that "somebody " was me!" 🤣😅

  • @templemanning6180
    @templemanning6180 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The third party did become the New Supply, which included signing the lease and paying the rent on a new apartment, setting up and paying for Narc's phone plan, signing the lease on Narc's commercial lease, buying them new clothes and who knows how much other stuff. Then a day before New Supply came to move Narc and their stuff to the new apartment, Narc said to me: 'I still want to be here with you, just say the word and I will kick them (New Supply) to the curb'. Insidious slime bag con artist.

  • @rajbilla76
    @rajbilla76 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Triangulation is also when you call out their behaviour, and they say - "none of my other friends have this problem, only you". These so called friends of theirs that you never even actually meet. It's just a tactic they use to make you doubt yourself, and for them to carry on with their narcissistic behaviour. ☠️💩🚪🕊

  • @katyams
    @katyams ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Oh yessss. Thank you Andrew. I didn't know what triangulation was back then. Now this missing puzzle piece is found. My ex narc would triangulate me, always bringing up some woman he used to "date". I was really worried, he would jump back to her...she was absolutely beautiful. Well turned out, there was never any relationship, she was 24 years younger. But he was obsessed with her.
    He told me she gave him a Rolex watch. Lol. How naive I was to beleive all that.
    Now it's clear it was part of the manipulative low game of this individual, to make me compete with this person and make me feel bad about myself.

  • @joshuagreen8957
    @joshuagreen8957 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    My experience with the ex narcissist was triangulation with previous exes. Even though she spoke horribly about them I still was compared badly. Made me feel like I was not good enough, so I tried harder. Once discarded triangulation with the new supply began and again I upped my game. Nothing was ever enough. Their thirst for supply is insatiable. I spent many years in the narcissistic fog and when I finally woke up I did not realize how exhausted I was. Mentally, physically, spiritually. It was the worst experience, but such a learning lesson. I learned much about myself and I am thankful that I got the knowledge with help from your channel and others. School of hard knocks teaches some of the best lessons the hard way. Thank you for your help along the way, and I appreciate everything you do Andrew!

  • @heatherroberson1648
    @heatherroberson1648 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Wait staff, people walking by, anyone he would flirt with, smile at or anything. He also used to talk about sex with his exs. I was horrified. I would never bring up personal things about my past exs with my current partner. There are so many ways they triangulate.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🙏💯😌🙌

    • @MattyNelson-rs3ik
      @MattyNelson-rs3ik 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I tell my husband my past life is non of his business

    • @carlosarriaga7437
      @carlosarriaga7437 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sft tv ch was AAq to c xc c ff derry dfffffvvvvvvvvvvv:vv:54 c vvvvvvvv:vvvvv:vcvvvv c vcvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvccvccccccxjc. I've. V . V. C. C. Cc C cvc C cccc.c. cc. C. Cc. C. Cr afffzva affected 2cac2. 2cd22z224 excellent c c ok e3😊😂

    • @carlosarriaga7437
      @carlosarriaga7437 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@MattyNelson-rs3ikaqe

  • @sylviaamodeo7090
    @sylviaamodeo7090 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Everything said here is exactly what happens!.

  • @karin5374
    @karin5374 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    My ex narc used to triangulate using the most inane topics. Like telling me his ex wife had better handwriting than me. As if that was supposed to get me to react in a jealous rage. I never reacted to his triangulation , although I didn’t know that’s what it was called at the time because it was always so inane. He would even start up conversations in my presence with servers and retail clerks who clearly were not interested in him and never could pick up on the fact that they weren’t interested. It was very cringe. Kind of embarrassing actually.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for sharing 🙏😌💯

    • @Bbop007
      @Bbop007 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My h does the same thing…every single time we go somewhere and to be honest it’s embarrassing.

    • @karin5374
      @karin5374 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Bbop007 yes. My ex narc’s triangulation tactics didn’t work on me. At the time I didn’t know that that is what it is called. I must have not delivered the supply he was seeking. He looked like fool as he couldn’t read the room or pick up on when it was time to walk away .

    • @karin5374
      @karin5374 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Bbop007 I think it really shows how they operate with a self referential lens. They cannot pick up on cues from other people.

    • @irismartinez5753
      @irismartinez5753 ปีที่แล้ว

      Try telling me his ex wife is his best friend and knows more about him than anyone else. That I could ash her anything about him.

  • @texasrefugee7888
    @texasrefugee7888 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Triangulation sucks. My ex and family used my children. Parental alienation should be a crime.

  • @sheilahogan7014
    @sheilahogan7014 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Triangulation is so hurtful, I didn’t know what it was until I started watching your videos and then I understood what had been happening during the time I was with the narc. It’s so important to have this knowledge and so healing to the psyche. I am abundantly grateful that you share your experiences with us Andrew!

  • @montanagirl4530
    @montanagirl4530 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I wish I had all this information 15 years ago. I left a job because of my bosses narcissistic behavior exactly as you describe. Ironically, I'm now in a relationship with a narc who does this to me. Thank God good folks like you are sharing what is happening so we can understand it. He pulled this crap on me this weekend and I was able to rely on my understanding and stay sane.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      🙏😌💯

    • @BJBlaskovichGaming
      @BJBlaskovichGaming ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think her triangulating her new supply against me is more likely. “How much can you do for me?”. He definitely exists, and she’s been over to see him. Don’t know if he’s come out to see her, but I have to think so. She hides him though (or tries to), just like she hid me. But I found out. It all started when she outed herself talking about having a friend in Chicago who had a condo in the West Loop she could stay with. Then she tried to cover it up when I asked her about by saying she was never going to Chicago, she’s got friends all over the country she can stay with, blah blah blah. So why is she STILL at her parents’ house? Oh yeah, her husband (who she supposedly got divorced from) and her son.

    • @diane621
      @diane621 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hope you can get out soon, I put up for too long, but didn’t entirely understand what was happening 🤞

    • @theoracle5265
      @theoracle5265 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What you really need to do is Get Rid of Your Narc as fast as you can because this sort of behavior NEVER STOPS EVER! I know this first hand my ex-wife off 37 years pulled this on me the entire time.

    • @cynthialeahy5225
      @cynthialeahy5225 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      35 years ago for me and... God's got my back.

  • @janeskey5042
    @janeskey5042 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Yes! He did this right from the beginning! He’d talk about women at work and I would fall for it and get very jealous.. I just cringe at all the wasted time & energy I put in. I bet half the time it was all made it. I’ll tell you one thing: I will NEVER be tricked again ! Never. Thank you, Andrew. Triangulation is very hurtful. You keep wondering what’s wrong with you when it was never about you to begin with…

  • @loris4814
    @loris4814 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Inever thought any person could be so cruel!!! Thanks for the much needed knowledge Andrew

  • @Temp97
    @Temp97 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    To work in silence and remain faithful to yourself behind the scenes and do the work in the dark let the results speak is great and helpful advice that motivates me

  • @katiecat5500
    @katiecat5500 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Triangulation makes me think of the solicitation of flying monkeys to get them to gang up on their target, turn against them and then together discredit the target to keep them under control and isolate them from supports. They make themselves look like the victim and get others to dislike you.

    • @thalia2584
      @thalia2584 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      💯😌🙏

    • @stefaniadiamondcut
      @stefaniadiamondcut ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It ALWAYS blows up in their face though so I don't get the supply aspect of it, I'm not sure it feeds them, I think it drains them and I honestly believe they're unhappy in their life so they crave death. They usually come with bad habits & live dangerously like they don't care about anything. But I found the worse ones clean their houses like they're obsessive! I think to create an illusion to themself they aren't as vile as they really are!!

    • @notme4565
      @notme4565 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@stefaniadiamondcutou are right about the cleaning, I am thinking about the last 4 Narcs that I have been healing from and they were clean freaks and still it was never perfect enough for them
      Thanks for your comment 😊

    • @ak-47intelligence75
      @ak-47intelligence75 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Every time I deal with triangulation, I always tell them to choose the other person they're triangulating me with. The tune changes very quickly 😂

  • @sabianstringer2112
    @sabianstringer2112 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thoughts Today:
    AWARENESS IS AN EMPATH'S SUPERPOWER.

  • @catlady6938
    @catlady6938 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is exactly what my ex did, he said “she was just a friend” and was so wonderful she did all these wonderful things for him, at this point I had lost all feelings for him and when I caught him cheating with someone else not “the friend” which I might add he engineered so I would see him. I walked away, he tried hoovering and love bombing but I was finally done. Pure evil. He has no one now karma finally dealt with him.

  • @deb2660
    @deb2660 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I have been in Alabama since August of 2022. I have paid 70 dollars or more a day for hotel rooms to get away from my abuser. I am sleeping in my vehicle with my 13 year old service dog. A maltese who weighs 7 lbs. We have been turned down for housing since August of 2022. My ex threatened to kill me. My room mate was murdered right after 20 miles north of my home in Michigan. I am from the south. I will not quit on me. I am not crazy. I am stronger now. All this has made me never give up on me. Or my dog. I don't know where to go from here... I just know I won't give up. I am still dealing with the financial aftermath of abuse. The medical aftermath. The mental aftermath. The abuse of society. I need help now. I have begged and pleaded for help. I get food. No housing. My credit cards are maxed out. If anyone out there has any suggestions I am wide open for them. Please...

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🙏😌💯

    • @TRoseTheArtist
      @TRoseTheArtist ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So sorry you have to live this way... You are not alone! 💜🌹💜

    • @ltsammons
      @ltsammons ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Contact social services for your community. They are there for a reason. Good luck and God bless.

    • @deb2660
      @deb2660 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ltsammons I have burnt up the phone and all phone numbers given to me. I mean calling every number...

    • @susanruggiero589
      @susanruggiero589 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Deb2660 courts around here have victim witness advocates and even attorneys for the day who give free legal advice. I’m hoping this is the case in your area as well. 🙏🏻 At the very least I hope churches and food banks could help you. Stay strong 💪🏻 God Bless!

  • @BeTheLight624
    @BeTheLight624 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The narc gave me access to his FB page. The could see what he was doing with one of his “friends” who was different from me not in a positive way. He, of course, denied it when confronted. He dropped a phone call with me to pick up a supply call. I never answered another one of his calls and went no contact afterwards. She can have him, they deserve each other. He is her problem now. Yes, it hurts tremendously, but I respect myself more than putting up with that disgusting crap anymore. Get out as soon as you can.Thank you for another revealing video, Andrew, exposing what is really going on when involved with a narc.

  • @sharondonovan9580
    @sharondonovan9580 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The triangulation is on of most evil ways to treat s aperson especially when you have been caring for them

  • @goldilocks3593
    @goldilocks3593 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Good points. The person could be completely imaginary or more likely it is someone who is in their orbit somewhere but they are grossly over exaggerating the nature of the relationship. Ex-narc used to talk a lot about people who were his “friends”. 99% of the time they were some casual acquaintance they barely knew, in reality. BUT if you really are being triangulated with another love interest, just remember that person is also being played against you somehow. The whole idea is that EVERYONE is supposed to be competing for their attention 🙄

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nope I just fall back or remove myself however what I have realized n learned I don’t wanna here sht about the ex xyz I’m shutting it down from jump vent to your frds not me 😂 that sht didn’t work for me to do Nathan higher I do recall… ha mentioning a random name I never heard of sent money 😂 good for ha I realize now she always use to say my friends or others act like it’s a competition I now realize she felt someway because otrs did for me because she was stingy asf crazy never seen someone note otrs doing for someone is competition 😂 now Ik why 😂

  • @trulyknickersslippers2977
    @trulyknickersslippers2977 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Triangulation- my least favourite also. Thank you for the video Andrew!

  • @marieeakin8534
    @marieeakin8534 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Sick Sick Sick........run..don't walk from these evil seeds!!!
    🎀😘

  • @carlosgiron1246
    @carlosgiron1246 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Great video Andrew. Well in my narcissistic relationship, he did do that to me but it was always him coming home with new clothes or something, and then he would tell me that his friend gave it to him. He refused to tell me who it was and would get angry if I kept asking. But I do know that they existed because the narcissist didn't have a job so there's no way he bought them himself. Everything I ever gave him he either claimed he lost it or he would give it away. In front of me and if I said anything I was the monster and I was being selfish. Thank you Andrew and thank you everyone for your kind words.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Welcome 🙏💯😌

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They love saying who did what or gave them ex: aww my grandma cash me $25 for lunch
      Me aww that was nice I’m so glad you have your grandma she really be there for you
      In the back of my head I’m glad she is sending because shd I don’t want too and soo glad she did so I didn’t have too 😉

  • @Bbop007
    @Bbop007 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yes - this is the worst one. So mean, hideous, shocking, disturbing, and more.

  • @marietjiestapelberg8230
    @marietjiestapelberg8230 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    💯 I always felt during my relationship with the Narc that I had to compare with other women.
    He was always flirting on his phone even when we were in a shopping mall or in a restaurant.

  • @hollylewis5302
    @hollylewis5302 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What about the narc putting THEMSELVES in between you and another person? I have had this happen on several occasions. It's really...manipulative.

  • @CM-zf3id
    @CM-zf3id ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I experienced triangulation when I was dating someone( female ) who said she wanted to go out for drinks but wanted to bring their male co worker along with us . Mind you that the person I was dating ( female) did not tell me this until it was close to the time of hanging out . Now this person did not say this person was better or anything but the action in itself was very distasteful looking back . Should’ve just aborted mission completely 😤

  • @skyhippy9964
    @skyhippy9964 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Mind is blown, lightbulbs going off all over the place.

  • @heaven4life69
    @heaven4life69 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is so on point. I was the new supply. I was totally oblivious to the web of deception I was in.

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      No reason to know that early on. Everyone starts out as new supply, and it usually takes a while to see it, sometimes even years. 😮

  • @rhyannjoedan
    @rhyannjoedan ปีที่แล้ว +4

    God bless you brother. Have u ever thought after more than one narc encounter, you might not meet a real person? Its not true. Keep your heart encouraged, Gods gunna find us someone true. God is so pure and good.

  • @deborahfairbanks4012
    @deborahfairbanks4012 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Once again, you are spot on with your explicit truth

  • @moejohnson4498
    @moejohnson4498 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Triangulation is a fairly new word to me but very familiar behavior. My spouse and I were both raised by complicit narcissists and they did this on many different levels and in different ways. We each have 3 siblings and we are in varying degrees of estrangement from them because our parents saw to that. They mess with their children’s minds and realities and it’s cruel, sick and heartbreaking when they pit you against each other, get you competing and lie about you all to each other. It’s so messed up. In our 60’s now we are just recently understanding what was done to us, why we’ve struggled so hard in areas of our lives and marriage. Knowledge is powerful and a huge part of the path toward healing. Thank you Andrew. Thank you everyone for sharing.

  • @gratefultobehere
    @gratefultobehere ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Andrew this educated me in a new way today about triangulation. I didn’t know what it was when first coming to your channel and watched ALL your videos - I think I did - and could relate triangulation to an ex boss and ex narc spouse; HOWEVER, today I can now see this happened with a parent and siblings (and cousins, aunts, uncles…) long ago, but nonetheless huge lightbulb 💡 moment. The disgust I feel now makes me angry because I only desire for my own children to BE THERE for each other (which they are) and not pit people against each other. 🐯 grrr.
    Great message. Cleaning out the clutter of old baggage I don’t need in my mind. ❤🙏

  • @dinaamdan8475
    @dinaamdan8475 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My story for triangulation is a bit different. Not necessarily "flirting". He is a covert narcissist, I found out just about 5 months ago, and now we are no longer together, Thank God.
    His triangulation method is when he gives other people more attention than he gives me attention. He would talk to strangers during event with full focus, not even looking at his phone for a minute. People are enraptured by how he say things because he has a way of making things "interesting" (now I know he made up a lot of stories, most of them are half-truths). So when the event is finished, and we're in the car, otw home, and I want to talk because he didnt have time to speak to me during the event, he would then said he's tired...he is drained, in other words, he just doesnt want to give me the same attention as he would others. Yes, even to strangers. He wouldnt have time even when he is not doing anything at home. But he loves me pining for his attention. I would make all the effort, and he would just give me bread crumbs. He loved that I am "competing" w others to get his attention. Now I know why he wouldnt give attention to me. Thank God Im now more educated. Thanks to these videos

  • @lynnnelson860
    @lynnnelson860 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is soooo very true Andrew! All of what you said here! Can't get enough attention, they will even start to make up things. Petulant, peevish children. Period! They love to live a dbl life, along with their split personality.

  • @alwaysseekbalance
    @alwaysseekbalance 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    When you realize that they triangulated you , the process begins developing a spiritual inner shift inside of our souls. A shift that we desperately have been trying to figure out inside of our intuition and gut feelings, while being lied to daily straight to our faces. The immense magnitude of that gaslighting and manipulation we have gone through starts to come to light. When you are basically gaslighted to death constantly, we become so confused that we dont know if we are coming or going anymore. Its truly awful, highly abusive, and destructive. We “are the love of their life” keeps us trauma bonded in a state of push and pull, which in turn addicts our brains to a constant state of lies and deceit about their true, covert, secret life, and then, to the contrary, they love us, its only us , they are loyal, and honest and it is all in “our heads. Wash….rinse…repeat…over and over…..
    When we actually begin to comprehend this bi polar mind f*#k that has been happening to us is when we finally start to break through the dopamine effect in our brain that seeks validation from another hit of their toxic crack pipe.
    These are vile human beings. In my case triangulation sealed the deal to my recovery from this insanity. I had wanted to believe in her, love her, and trust her as a man should. Be secure and confident as I am inside, because, in this day and age women play on the fact that the 50 “guy friends” on social media, the 14 exes in her past, this man, that man… all of them are nothing to worry about. We have to tow that line these days.
    They love you and they are “yours” your baby and they “handle” it when nobody is looking or if anyone crosses a line. So you trust them like you should, but that smoking mirror is a massive wildfire. The smoke is billowing for a hundred miles… you need a gas mask to get out alive. They are in fact using that trust and security in us to be as absolutely sininster, deceitful, and nasty as they can possibly get away with. Integrity is 0% in a narcissist.
    In the end when the house of cards does fall and the triangulation is finally proven and realized, the cookie crumbles from there.
    You find out that half those friends were sending sexts to them, sweet nothings, and they were bad mouthing you to everyone that would listen in order to be a fabricated professional victim seeking their new supply, playing their evil games, and conquering their perverted adoration from the next new and shiny, temporary hot dog.
    Yes, they were cheating, emotionally and physically and YES they already have another hot dog sleeping in their bed, and it has been since they began the final cycle of idealize, value, discard;
    i.e.
    sleeping with you, i love you, i need you …
    then…
    silence, ghost, discard …
    until we cannot take that treatment and insanity anymore and find people like Andrew to understand what we are dealing with in our spirit with this person that we loved to the ends of the earth just is NOT the person we thought we knew and wanted to spend the end of days with. Sad but true. 🙏
    These truly are evil , rotten, filthy, lying, destructive, dirty pigs …narcissists.
    Rest assured their is a special place in hell for twisted, sick, non moral scumbags who lie, cheat , abuse, and manipulate others in this way. Let God dole out the reckoning. They want you to fight for their dirty lil asses…Never do anything stupid….let that other tool take out your trash to the curb. They are trying to destroy lives and They want you to react to justify their betrayals. They provoke a natural alpha instinct in doing this and they dig deep into that male anger, rage, temper that many of us learned to conquer from our youth.
    Just Let them wallow in their dirty little secret bodies ending up with urinary tract infections and std’s…..Let them be the rotten, lying, promiscuous person they are. They honestly never deserved all of the unconditional love, trust, and loyalty that we always gave them. 💯🙏

  • @whatsupchannel3047
    @whatsupchannel3047 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's amazing what we actually allow to happen to us without realising its cruel . Education is always the key!

    • @panagiotiskarelas5063
      @panagiotiskarelas5063 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes but intuitively we can feel that there is something wrong .Also you can feel it in the instinctive abdominal part because these 'energies' are intrusive, they lack the heart element.

    • @JenJen-80sbaby
      @JenJen-80sbaby ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@panagiotiskarelas5063very true! After I finally left for good, he tried to tell me my intuition was lying to me

    • @emmarae4322
      @emmarae4322 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I can’t even imagine doing this to another person.

  • @Jenfromtheblock63
    @Jenfromtheblock63 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    He tried triangulation with me , and he bought in his 2 neighbours. I did meet them, and what happened was he pitted me against them, and treated me like crap, like I was in the road, and they were no 1. I didn't suck up is backside, I was raging mad, and went completely silent. I was so hurt and angry, that in the end I just got up and left. I walked to my car he followed me, tried to give me a kiss and I turned my head away, let him have it, and drove off. I was devastated. He tried to call me about 20 times, and I ghosted him. He was so calm cool and collected on the messages it was unbelievable. 😢. I broke it off with him and told him to eff off. , but after about 3 months he came back when I was still healing and confused, that I fell straight back into it, coz I was so vulnerable. I never want to go through that again!. He's gone now but I'm never letting him back🙅. That experience triggered my childhood abuse that I suffered, with that same type of scenario that it nearly broke me. When he came back he acted as if nothing happened, he's one sick puppy, and he deserves everything he gets. 😡

  • @BK-lb8uh
    @BK-lb8uh ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This is the term I learned from you, Andrew. I dreaded being triggered when I saw the topic today. I reflected back, I have been had. I was discarded and relieved of my misery. Slowly healing.

  • @roslyncerro1263
    @roslyncerro1263 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Solo rocks!❣️

  • @melodienaber3238
    @melodienaber3238 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    God put you on this path to help 🙏

  • @JMoooovies
    @JMoooovies 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Triangulation is insidious and cruel. She drove a wedge between me and almost everyone in our shared life together. Bragging about the positive attributes of friends and other couples’ relationships. It took a while to realize this was comparative devaluation. It made me feel like I was going crazy and I built up so much anger and resentment, but had difficulty pinpointing why. I’d watch her give special attention to everyone BUT me in social settings and then ask what was wrong- as though I was a naturally sulky, anti-social person, which I am not! It’s healthy to expect healthy behaviors from a person you’re in a relationship with! It’s just so creepy to be subjected to this form of covert abuse. Thankfully, I’ve walked away no contact. Thank you for your beautiful videos, Andrew. Your support is beyond helpful and confirming that this stuff is real. ❤

  • @andrmayfield1658
    @andrmayfield1658 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Omg I am victim too… I had no idea IT had a name!😮

  • @TRoseTheArtist
    @TRoseTheArtist ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Major, major (they are all major, really!) super problem in these relationships! Thank you for speaking on this heartbreaking issue! 💜🌹💜

  • @carlamoore9316
    @carlamoore9316 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yes, I was triangulation by a ex boyfriend who spreaded lies to all my relatives and friends and now, they barely want me around. I don't even know what he said, but most of them are very angry and not speaking to me.

  • @archiehendricks6093
    @archiehendricks6093 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Any thing you say to a triangulator that could look like Jealousy, could signal that you have swallowed the hook.

  • @Pureblissfullness1111
    @Pureblissfullness1111 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you and this is very true. I took me so long to figure this person out. I am so happy i finally see what I been dealing with. Thank you again for the enlightenment. His comment to me (of you won't she will) what a toxic personality. I hope he gets what he deserves

  • @user-bk3xs4gd1v
    @user-bk3xs4gd1v ปีที่แล้ว +5

    How about aging narcissist, 8 years after retirement still triangulating using women coworkers from the past. So sad but true. I know now that most of his stories were made up, but that's because back then I had no idea he was a monster. Someone who loves you will not triangulate. Years later I found out he was almost fired for a sexual harassment and facing lawsuit unless he retired. There's no empathy in them, there's no love or morals just darkness and emptiness.

  • @ibenkjr2530
    @ibenkjr2530 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So true. It's so nasty, so immature and such a waste of time and energy. Thank you for your videos ❤

  • @icysurfer1
    @icysurfer1 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Also, triangulation, when someone enlists the aid of your friends family, etc. Or making up stories behind your back in person to said people. Discussing personal info that they know. They may not even know your friends, but through the magic of Facebook............

  • @flowerpower4944
    @flowerpower4944 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Yea he did this , she lived in the same building and he got her a job, she was there every weekend I went to visit him, OMG she was very needy, she always had problems @work and didn't mix with anyone, He said she's the daughter I didn't have, He revelled in the attention,.She was all over him, Shed go in to watch tv most evenings, Then it turned and he was trying to convince me to rent her a room , I think things went south,that's why he suggested it,she was 22he was56,, God only knows what went on, soon after that I Left, it's a very hurtful thing, she went from being nice to me to ignoring me , I don't know what b.s. he was telling her,🌼✨❤️🌺🦋🦋🦋

  • @Sunshine-lg8su
    @Sunshine-lg8su ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yep… you just told my story ( my narcissistic sociopathic sister ) wow 🫢what a shitshow she has created. No contact - deleted and dismissed for decades by me and she is still to date slandering and triangulating me… my heartbreak…. My son and his family took the bait i( 6 years now no communication) it was blindsiding ..😞 now I found you and I’m healing…. Thank you for these videos they keep me sane. In your words Andrew.. my son believed her because he wanted to. You are right. Bless you for helping us all through this … I’m surrounded by lovely, beautiful friends … you can and MUST get your life back. Dump the narc and flying monkeys let them implode on each other and go where the love is. I found it so will you! ❤️🙌🙏

  • @ladyvirgo013
    @ladyvirgo013 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Such sick games they play.
    Life is too short for this chaos.
    Sad part is,I didn't realize how much abuse I was in🤷‍♀️my husband discarded me for the secretary at his work.
    I have to look at it as a good thing instead of grieving this monster.
    The moment my husband brought up the secretary and the fact she made a pumpkin role and he broke his tooth with a nut shell she left in it (I should have known) legit, they will mention their next supply in subtle ways people.
    He was grooming her and devaluing me at the same time🤮

  • @jonnielynnlittle2882
    @jonnielynnlittle2882 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It belittles your value and self confidence.

  • @thalia2584
    @thalia2584 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Yes! That is what they do. That's why you feel like dirt. That's why you feel confused. In a family setting growing up this way. Watching the way he played family against each other. Trying my whole life to make him happy. They will never be happy. Its all mental mind games. Stay strong! Get away and if you can't right away. Try to not engage or talk to them. And make baby steps to get away. Just know your not alone. Think positive. Stay safe. Much Love💙

  • @FaithEdits
    @FaithEdits ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Someone did this to me once, and then I split away from them. After a year, they messaged me again and tried to triangulate AGAIN. Ultimate disrespect; I still can't believe they tried AGAIN. Absurd and incredibly hurtful...

  • @pennyforyourthoughts1523
    @pennyforyourthoughts1523 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Triangulation is exhausting to have to live with, horrendous.

  • @IsabellaPiesch
    @IsabellaPiesch ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It is all about using. ... They simple look for supplies to use ... In fact that is a very sad life because narcissists can´t love. They see people as objects like shoes... (One day they like those pair of shoes, next day another)... You can´t win against that and personally I don´t want to win because a relationship shouldn´t be a one way street or a competition.

  • @janetroberts5140
    @janetroberts5140 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I hated the triangulation, I knew my first spouse was using his "Bromance" to make me jealous. He wanted more funds, for me to take overtime and keep me on the hamster-wheel. He was money hungry and could care less about the wife and son he had.

  • @JrsyStyle
    @JrsyStyle ปีที่แล้ว +2

    💯 the most disgusting toxic trait. Got that quite a lot. So glad I'm free of that BS

  • @marylamb56
    @marylamb56 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The shame game! Meaning: You better measure up! Because I’ve got your replacement! Evil Tedd 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🙈😬

  • @katiecat5500
    @katiecat5500 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you, Andrew! Very helpful videos.

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The triangulation is cruel abuse. Triangulating with coworkers, strangers, people on tv, family members…the worst their exes. Ugh, these people are evil.

  • @almosthome5971
    @almosthome5971 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ha!!! I've TOLD HIM to go find him someone else to Hoover and spend his time with! Afterall, "you let your hygiene go, you let your health go,..ought to be damned easy to find someone walking down the street, looking for a little free something!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @cinthial7220
    @cinthial7220 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Even though I am so past a lot of this I still watch these everyday. God bless

  • @wameezy
    @wameezy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Went through this months ago. My Narc Ex gathered up supply and tried to make me jealous and act like that person was doing more for them as if I didn’t give my love, respect , items, money etc to show that I was not only dependable but a giving person . And never asking for anything in return other than love and loyalty, friendship. I tried to figure out what it was I could improve on to show the love that they never felt they received in there past. It’s a never ending cycle because they are repeating what family members or ppl from there childhood did around them and now inflicting there wounds onto the ones closest to them . Triangulation is a horrible thing to experience. It made me feel completely worthless, lonely and isolated. To think maybe they didn’t realize what they were doing but there so aware of what there causing is just so very sad and heartbreaking 💔

  • @cynthialeahy5225
    @cynthialeahy5225 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It's just crazy how they are and what they do. Keep your path, keep watching Andrew daily. Each day is its own victory, accumulate many, daily 🌟

  • @skyazuldream
    @skyazuldream 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    my whole family is of narcs… father, brother, uncle.. imagine the trauma being youngest and they’re abusive as well physically and verbally

  • @marylamb56
    @marylamb56 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Triangulation: The perfect false guilt lowered over the empath. And the Narcissist-, hoping that the empath will fall for this trap . The spider Webb. Meant to entrap prey- for food = supply 🤷🏼‍♀️😬🤦‍♀️😔

  • @user-cq9vk5gt7o
    @user-cq9vk5gt7o ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My ex-Narc tried triangulating me with an ex turned “friend.” I didn’t bite. Simply told him he was free to choose whom to spend his time with. I’ve discarded him, but now I’m really worried about his old/new supply. Not knowing anything about them other than they’re suffering from an illness (hence why he left(ish) I guess), I can see how triangulating them with me might cause them to loosen some boundaries and get taken advantage of. I really hope to God that they see through him and get out before things get even more abusive.

    • @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
      @NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😌🙏💯

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not much you can do but watch. Actually, I wouldn't even do that much. Early on, they wouldn't believe you anyway because they're still being love bombed. Then, they're busy being hoovered, so it still won't quite track. You just look like a sore loser ex to the new supply, right up until they figure it out, if ever. 😢

  • @malibu90265
    @malibu90265 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Appreciate that you are there everyday, Andrew. I am not alone.

  • @diane621
    @diane621 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Triangulated, relationship strangulation. And I was often reminded that I never bought the correct xmas present LOL. Thanks Andrew

  • @empressboateng7098
    @empressboateng7098 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow wow Andrew, keep opening our eyes, nothing moves me anymore because of your videos, i am getting stronger and stronger everyday thanks to you my mentor ❤❤❤🎉🎉😅😅💪💪💪🙌🙏🏿

  • @AmyWaring-f2m
    @AmyWaring-f2m ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My narc has combined the smear campaign with triangulation. He lies about me to his friends and gets them to attack me.

  • @camoore1210
    @camoore1210 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "I hope you get that" I'm a new subscriber, I can 100% say with confidence; If you've lived through this and never want to go through it again, YOU GOT THAT! Even the way you turn your head and give us the side eye (IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW). You'll never have to go through another Narcissistic relationship if you accept what you've gone through, learn from it and NEVER allow it to happen again. You know the signs now, if you continue to fall for it (hug) I'm sorry you are so broken but keep working on it, you will make it out the maze.🙏

  • @James-bc2oh
    @James-bc2oh ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Triangulation is them throwing what their doing in your face, my covert narc Marie was doing this with me and her daughters husband,she was saying Steven gives me more compliments than you do,I thought what a strange thing to say so kept my eyes open and it ended up I caught Marie and Steven in the kitchen groping each other while they thought myself and Marie's daughter where in the living room playing with the kids,she was doing the same thing with an old school friend called John making out they had just got in contact after years, turns out that was my replacement theirs no limits to these people that was Marie and her daughters husband and an old school friend, God knows how many others their were, don't think I want to no, great video Andrew 👍🙏

  • @bellesterbeatty3571
    @bellesterbeatty3571 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes, I am dealing with triangulation. Gaslighting me, then telling everyone that I am 'doped' up. Also, spoofing my phone number and sending out awful texts.

  • @zaluckya50
    @zaluckya50 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have been there,at the beginning, and end of relationship

  • @mobileradiofitter
    @mobileradiofitter ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Andrew another great explanation, don't they really believe they are entitled and a prize. Its all about what they get, your time your money your appreciation your love your respect when mean while this is something we give out of love. They expect it or demand it. Again another de value tactic to get more out of you before they toss you away. It's so sad

  • @StarSeedQP
    @StarSeedQP ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My Mom decided that I needed to be my sister's maid of honor less than a year after divorcing a malignant narcissist. She sobbed in front of my 4 daughters saying my sister just wants something to be all about her for once after I said NO I cannot do that. I ended up missing the wedding, but let 3 of my daughters go since they were the flower girls. My sister didn't talk to me for 5 months after her wedding. When she finally did, she said I stole her Mom that night because she was crying over me not being there at the wedding. It crushed me for years. I'm not all the way out but I'm getting stronger and bouncing back much faster to keep repeating NO MORE. Thank you for making quick and direct content.

  • @hotdoggin420
    @hotdoggin420 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was my entire 3 year relationship. She'd pit her parents and I against each other. Saying negative things about the other to one another. She'd find ways to stay later at work every month. Eventually she'd come home only for sleep. I caught her texting the new supply and asked about it and expressed my concern. The day after she went to a party with them and I didn't hear from them all night. My reaction to not knowing what was going on was blamed for being toxic. After that she discarded me. It's so hard for me to not care about her. I convince myself Everytime that I won't text back or that I won't get excited when I see her(we live together atm but not for long). But it's tough, these videos help a lot, thank you

  • @sherrycollins209
    @sherrycollins209 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Triangulated me and our son and still working on trying to heal that relationship. He knows his dad is awful but refuses to see the full scope of it. He pitted everyone against me. Thankfully I have removed all flying monkeys and have found a much better circle of friends. The depth of their evil is unreal

    • @Sunshine-lg8su
      @Sunshine-lg8su ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish you healing… I completely relate🙏

  • @marybarton5651
    @marybarton5651 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great video, Andrew. TY.😊 i really hate the game playing, like triangulation. .

  • @HellasGD88
    @HellasGD88 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've been narc free for 9 yrs, haven't seen or heard from him in that time, he discarded my kids and myself and remarried, triangulation was his speciality, yesterday was my birthday so he sends something to my daughters ph for my birthday, my daughter wanted to show me, i said absolutely no thanks.

  • @sharondrake5794
    @sharondrake5794 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My former spouse’s sister came for a long visit from another state. He greeted her with a kiss on the lips. She sat on his lap, his hand on her outer thigh. He gave wolf calls about what a “sexy lady” she was. He held her hand. They ran around the house, swatting each other on the behind. He lied to her about me. It was a horrible experience for me. So what did I do? I stayed another 6 years. It took way too long for me to say, “Enough”.