@@Sukisukigirl444 guess not, guess its alright to accept grooming all the way up to 20 years old and now have the mental capacity to say yea maybe this is bad
At 13 i had an entire friend group do shit like this to me and essentially pass me around to traumatize. They definitely have a routine and move onto the next child the second one is too argumentative and gets the hint that these are creeps.
I was wondering what if he told the hotel that he was meeting his kid, like his daughter ... maybe give her the benefit of doubt idk if not, it is disgusting
Exactly! Bystander syndrom is a big problem! At my old job our hotel employees paid attention to customers esp to anyone who seemed upset, acted weird or intoxicated. We would often ask are you okay if we seen someone crying. We had 911 on speed dial. I'm a big believer in watching my surroundings! And we keep missing persons pics up so we can keep a look out too. Public safety is huge for me. I hate bystander syndrom
She said she didn’t know why she was depressed, but then described being starved for attention and how her parents didn’t think anything of her not eating dinner and I felt like there was a lot of emotional neglect . I hope she gets the therapy and counseling she needs to heal fully from this.
I was thinking that too… like why wouldn’t you ask your child why their aren’t eating ? How do you just let that go as a normal behavior. I mean yes we’ve all thought about our image as teens but to completely avoid eating AT HOME on a regular basis… isn’t normal. Major red flag.
As a teen who was in chat groups and enjoyed male attention and was ignorant to how dangerous it could be, thank you for sharing your story. I think my only saving grace is my parents telling me to never let people I didn’t know to know where I lived. This could have been any of us.
Yeah it was the same for me. I actively went looking for men in chatrooms when I was like 14. But I watched so much SVU and had become obsessed with this one internet safety video when I was younger, rewatching it like 30 times for some reason.. so I just.. never gave away my location... City, state, etc. Even my time zone was changed. I got really good at getting them to say what state they were from first so I could say that I was from the state furthest away from theirs lmao
Same here, I spoke to a lot of people online but my mom was super strict and I was always too scared to actually meet anyone in person but it made me think of how it could have easily happened to me if I ever did.
This one of the most disturbing stories I've ever heard; it's something no child no teen no woman should ever experience but it's a story every parent should know and be on alert for.
Also something that MOST women do experience, to some extent. One hundred percent due directly to father’s bailing on their children during their “mid life crisis” which happens to be during their childrens teen years.
If parents don't pay attention to their children someone else will. She was certainly desperate for attention and love as a child and completely manipulated and changes by her experiences and her parents never noticed.
SHE IS NOT INNOCENT IN ALL OF THIS.SHE KEPT THE 3 WEBSITES AND STILL WENT TO THE BDSM CLUB AFER SHE CUT TIES WITH THE MAIN GUY WHO HAS NOT BEEN CAUGHT YET EVEN THOUGH HOTEL RECORDS COULD BE SEARCHED.SHE HAD CHANCES TO FREE HERSELF.SHE ENJOYED IT,THERE IS A REASON WHY AMERICA IS THE KING COUNTRY FOR PORN .ITS BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY YOUNG GIRLS LIKE THIS THERE WHO GO ON TO BE PORN ACTRESSES. WHEN LANA RHOADES WAS 14 SHE TOLD A TEACHER IN HER SCHOOL THAT SHE WANTED TO BE A PORN ACTRESS SO EVEN AT A YOUNGER AGE SHE KNEW SHE WANTED TO DO IT THIS WOMAN HAD A CHANCE TO RUN IN THE HOTEL .I DONT BUY HER STORY AT ALL
what's even scarier is how many millennial/gen-z girls can relate to this including myself. i cant say how many of us ever went as far as actually meeting up with said older men, but the damage done by sending explicit pictures and receiving them in return and not knowing where those pictures of yourself are today is a pain that i cant even put into words. she is so brave for sharing her story and i commend her.
I know right! I got chills listening to this and thinking about when I used to go on sites like Omegle as a teenager because this could’ve happened to me or any of us. I’m glad to see people speaking out about this and I hope that anyone going through similar things will come across this video.
I know right, I was blackmailed with my photos as a child and had no one to tell because I didn’t want to get in trouble. We need like a Facebook support group for this or something lol
@Vicious I never had kids, but those thoughts always went through my mind, that I'd never want my child to feel like they couldn't talk to me. These predators bank on the disconnect that exists between parents and their children. The notion of the parents of "well my child would never" or "that could never happen to my child" are deceiving and dangerous fallacies. Anything can happen to anybody and one should take all possibilities into consideration. I used to be a schoolbus driver and that attitude almost cost one of my students life. Her sister had made me aware that she had participated with another student in snorting pain pills on the bus. I had thought I had been vigilant enough to catch anything, but they had timed it just ever so perfectly. I didn't dismiss the claim and investigated and thanked the sister for reaching out to me despite the possibility of "trouble". I submitted my video to my supervisor for review and he came up with many explanations on how that situation probably had not happened at all. Kids make up stuff all the time was one of those etc. I pushed him to keep reviewing the footage with me and then it happened and we found evidence. Ofcourse there was disciplinary action from the school. I had contacted the family about it and was invited to their home for lunch where we discussed the situation even though I had no further part take in the consequences, but I shared my brother in laws fate who had started drugs in high-school and who had been in a medical coma for several weeks at the time and was dying in his 30ies. I just wanted to show the longterm effects of what they had chosen to engage in. This was a few years ago and my brother in law passed away, but the girls are now living a happy and healthy life. Dangers can come from all sides and in this case it came from a fellow student who had suggested they should try this and the girl got the pain pills from her father's dresser who was suffering from ptsd. They were only 12. I say I never had kids...but at one point in my mind..I had 52 kids on my bus...and I loved them all and tried my best to give good counsel and protect them even if I wasn't the parent. I am to this day proud of the sister that confided in me when she was probably very scared about what her sister would think and the consequences about "snitching" ...the fear of losing her sister and not speaking up may have caused her to actually lose her sister. Both girls are my heroes ❤️.
The part about the receptionist was so crushing. She didn't ask any questions about this little girl who was a "friend" of this 45 y/o man, which is already so questionable on her part. The part where the receptionist saw her after the assault and avoided her speaks volumes. She knew something was wrong. Bystanders like that make me lose hope in humanity, man.
I was a hotel receptionist at 2 different hotels. That was such a depressing job bc it’s nonstop complaints and creepy things like this happened all the time. I’d tell the hotel managers and they always shrugged. After awhile you stop caring bc NOTHING is being done.
@@stuff1784 Because you are set up to be a servant and if a hotel worker makes an accusation and can't prove it you can lose your job and nothing will be done anyway.
I think the disgusting pigs that take advantage of kids make me lose hope in humanity actually. As well as the comments that focus their anger at the "bystander" rather than the perpetrator.
I know she says nothing caused her depression as a young child but from what she goes on to talk about, it sounds like emotional neglect was at play. Emotional neglect from parents is another form of abuse ☹️
@@anniem2777 she does. She said at the end that she opened up to her parents 2 weeks ago about what happened and the justice system is pursuing legal action towards her abusers. As a daughter, a survivor, a mother- it is not all on the parents. I got into alot of seriously dangerous situations as a teenager (a CHILD), and wasn't willing to tell my parents what was going on. And even when I did.. there's almost a disbelief they go through. Denial. Grief. All the stages of... how could this happen to my child and I didnt see it? Some parents (like my own) had 4 other children besides myself, and had their own battles with mental health as well. Parents are human too. No parent would ever wish this upon their child. And I'm sure after they found out 2 weeks ago, they most likely blamed themselves too. Our parents didnt grow up knowing the dangers of the internet. They didnt know what we wouldnt share with them, especially when you've already decided you're the black sheep of the family. I am not blaming the child here either. These adult men preying online are to blame for normalizing these behaviors.
Nauseating… this poor girl. I fell victim to the internet too at a young age. So terrifying as parents and siblings of young kids now, how do we protect them without keeping them completely sheltered? Too much evil in this world. This girl is a hero❤
At this point I feel like a sheltered life is better than what is currently out there. Although there will be trauma with having a sheltered life, at least it wouldn’t be as bad as being abused by someone
Idk babe. Education. Educate them? Don't hide the truth or be naive. The internet predators . Internet In general. Sex. Intimacy vs intimidating manipulation or grooming or peer pressure or trends. Confidence and insecurities our own stuff from their age. Try to have the most open door open minded all questions welcome relationship. Tell them the truth bc this world is disgusting as much as I'd love for it to be glitter and gold. It isn't and we have to prepare our children. Somehow
@Jordan Kay completely agree with you. No matter how much you shelter someone, you can't protect them from the truth and real world, because they will eventually have to face the world or the world will find them. When that happens, we should at least have taught them how to defend themselves from these kind of predatory people.
My kids will not have social media until they move out of the house and a severely restricted iPhone limited to text, weather and calling. It’s easy you just have to parent.
Being the first generation that grew up with the internet came with a whole set of new trauma our parents had no idea about. Sending love to everyone out there who can relate to this story in any way 🤍
Maybe for older parents but I know I sure wasn’t ignorant of any of it. I experienced the same exact thing with the caveat that my groomer/rapist was 40 and I was 12-13, and he was my step brother in law. Regardless my oldest is 22 now and we have always had filters on our computers and technology. It is definitely hard but absolutely necessary.
as soon as she said he was in the military i remembered your other video about the woman that was trafficked by her husband. just because they’re in the military doesn’t mean they’re good people
To grew up around military people, including higher rank. 80% of them where abusers or pedos. I don’t trust many after what I’ve seen from my childhood.
There is a very good documentary about sexual assault in the military by military officers it’s called “The Invisible War” I believe it’s even uploaded on TH-cam
That mind programming thing that she spoke about is a true tactic that is used on them and it’s played while they sleep. It encourages them to “do their job”. I know cause I had a few friends who came back but only one was honest enough to share that.
Military men are actually the worst. Lmao I don’t know how they got the rep of being good. They constantly cheat on their partners, with other male and female soldiers, buy Prostitutes. Lost of rape outside of IS bases
They get abused in the military then come back and have ptsd and abuse others and have a shitty quality of life after.I been thru it. Still confused n traumatized til this day
The fact that her parents never knew or noticed her bruises and behaviours and went to a bday party without accompanying her or calling the parents says a lot. She was not protected the way she needed to be sadly her parents failed her on that
I’m not even 20 minutes in & the way she mentions “oh his wife didn’t know about our relationship…” breaks my heart. It’s not a relationship when it’s a child and a grown man, but that verbiage describes how she felt at that age in that moment and it’s just so heartbreaking.
As a 59 yo man I can sympathize with this girl 100% because the mother of my children was abused throughout her childhood until I met her, but by that time the damage was done and she can't even bond with her own children let alone pair bond with a husband that loved her. This abuse at an early age is so traumatic that it changes the course of lives. I can't begin to imagine how different my life would've been with my wife and children if she had a normal, loving upbringing. Instead she left us when the children were 1 and 3 and disappeared into the underbelly of the sex trade in the Bronx never to come back to be a mother to our children again. So sad....
Please know the children will probably be in a better place with you. I believe her absence is better than your children go through abuse and neglect with her. It is a sad situation, but we are all humans and make choices in life.
This is traumatizing especially for a 13 year old.... whoever that man was.. deserves the worst fate..AM so proud of her, she has a strong spirit and strong woman ...
This made me cry, I don’t think other people understand how often us gen Z’s were groomed online, especially on omegle, kik and whisper. I feel sick to my stomach remembering how I was groomed from 14-20 thinking it was love. How my friends would talk to older men as well
It's amazing that adults knowingly give their children access to the internet like this. It is so so scary - children do not have the brain development to understand what is happening in these situations, it's like sending your child out into the world alone.
This is absolutely horrid. Crazy to think that parents today allow their kids to have their own devices. Predators are EVERYWHERE. So terrifying, she was so so young. Sharing her story will only help spread awareness. Thank you for this episode
I honestly think it’s better to let your kids have their own devices while you teach them about appropriate and responsible use rather than deny them access all together. Otherwise you’ll get a kid that feels like their ‘wise’ enough to use them on their own when they get older while they’re far too inexperienced to be careful.
@@IAmContemporary i politely disagree with you in my experience my parents were highly religious and i still did things that i’ll always regret online, i will teach my kids the dangers of the internet and keep them informed, but i would rather not give them one until they are an adult i dont want my kids in the dark, but i would like to protect them as long as i can
As a Mom of a little girl, this breaks my heart. It also makes me incredibly angry that she was not protected by her parents at such a young and impressionable age when she was clearly struggling.
As a podcast host you are amazing. You let your guest tell their stories and ask the perfect follow up questions. Thank you for highlighting people’s stories
When she said she was starved for attention got me. Young girls like her are exactly what predators look for. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I found out about grooming. Wish I had known at an earlier age and not thought that dating/talking to older men was cool.
it truly is neglect (which is a form of abuse) when a parent doesn't notice their child going through something like this, or teach them how to be safe online. I mean she said she came from a good environment with a happy family life, two parents who were still together, and 2 older sisters, but that doesn't mean much apparently
"When she said she was starved for attention got me. Young girls like her are exactly what predators look for." - lol what attention was she not getting? Some girls are 'wired different' and want more and more of what feels good. There's a money part to all this she doesn't discuss.
I am so glad to hear so much awareness in her story and the fact that she doesn't blame herself. I hope she finds healing and continues to know that none of this was her fault.
I work with women in the sex industry and she’s absolutely correct - the stats are that 89% of women in the industry have experienced sexual trauma prior to entering into this line of work. You are such a brave lady! Thanks for sharing with such vulnerability. I pray that you find healing and can continue to share your story & help bring healing to others ❤
the sponsorship ad in the middle felt a little inappropriate…. maybe do that at the start or end rather than interrupting a very serious story with an advertisement
Thank you for your feedback, we will work on this for future episodes. When scheduling ads so far in advance of filming the episodes, it can be difficult to predict the topic and seriousness of the episode itself. We never want to give the impression of downplaying our guests’ stories.
Stories like this just reaffirm how much I want to tell my future children that they can tell me everything ESPECIALLY if an adult tells them to keep a secret
I will be forever grateful for the manager of the Queen Mary hotel in Long Beach who noticed that my two daughters were traveling without any bags or weather appropriate clothing and aborted a kidnapping by my ex in 1983. The Long Beach police were notified and he was arrested that night before any harm occurred.
the whiplash i got from the video going from “the men would take me from my high school to a different location” to “this video is sponsored by athletic greens 🤗” was ASTOUNDING. i can’t believe that happened in the middle of a video with this sensitive of a subject. i get doing it in the beginning, but right in the middle of her sentence?
To what you said at the end about someone going into a hyper sexual mode after sexual trauma. It’s because it marks you, that sexual trauma puts a mark on you that says “this is what you’re for” “this is your purpose” “this is your worth”. It’s not true but it’s so hard to remove that mark and overcome such a deep deep betrayal and violation.
Wow.. I never thought of it that way. My abuser gave me an std at 13… and i thought no one would ever love me. So when I was 15/16 and I discovered men would sleep with me, I went wild
Baby girl 😭 I’m so proud of her for speaking up. I was groomed at 15 by a sugar daddy (became many many different ones) that I met online. It snowballed in a similar way to her story. I also had depression and anxiety at a very young age. While everyone’s experience is unique to them, I feel a lot more at peace knowing that there are people out there that understand and empathize.
This episode really hurt, to know that there are so many girls who have gone through this and might still be going through it. I know she’s gonna be a great therapist.
i'm speechless. she's so strong for being able to tell her story. i've been on the internet talking to strangers since i was 10 as well, and things could have very easily gone wrong but i have gotten so lucky. my parents definitely did a better job at keeping track of where i was, who i was with, etc. i hope she knows that it was not her fault because so many people in her life failed her. i wish her the happiest life possible.
I always prefer a therapist who’s been through trauma, I have a heard time telling people the most awful parts of my life when they haven’t seen the darkness I’ve seen. Best of luck on your journey Erica! And congrats on your amazing academic achievements.
This has been the most difficult episode to watch for me. In many ways I feel I can relate to her, and it is hearbreaking that so much of us had to live episodes of abuse in our lives because of different reasons. For all of you who can relate, I hope you are getting better everyday 💙
this is the 3rd episode i've watched so far and really respect all the victims coming forward, such a respectful setting and host. love the kitty therapy too!
I was groomed by a guy from 12 to about 14-16, he still will message me on various thinks that he finds me on. but it was so similar to the guy she was was describing. He had military experience, married, wanted me more submissive. We only did things via phone/skype, but he was never super aggressive or mean. I'm honestly thankful I never met him or anything like that, but I honestly feel so much for you girl. I am glad you keep living your life and trying to do the best you can for yourself
Omg this story really broke my heart for this young lady🥺 I’m so glad she had the courage to get on here and share her story. It takes a lot of strength to do that. I’m proud of her for turning her life around and learning from her experiences
I’m in my mid 30s and the amount of A/S/L chat room messages that were lies brings back so much trauma. Yahoo, MSN, AIM chat rooms and cameras were so pivotal to us and looking back now scares me so bad. As much good came with the internet is double the bad. Even if parents think we aren’t doing something bad, oh we knew and we knew how to lie.
Almost passed out or vomited hearing all this (as a person who was groomed at a young age as well). Thanks to both of u for keeping this interview RAW and REAL, and bringing this serious topic to the public eye. I still don’t understand how can some people blindly judge groomed adults as naïve or sluts (after making the choices we made to stay with the abuser IN THE PAST). Society is so F-ed up.
Amazing how she kept returning - almost like she was seeking out the trauma with zero benefit. I was screaming in my head - “don’t go back!” But I guess that’s the power of grooming mixed with depression and other psychological frailties. It’s so sad and disturbing. Kudos to her for her willingness to discuss AND to punish the rapists. Everyone at those BDSM parties should be held accountable.
Where does personal responsibility lies in all this? Like literally you get a*ally r*ped and continue for other 5 years escalating even more? Without reporting anything, without stopping even after police blocked it for you? At this point let's condone even the homicides that 18yo commits, because "they grew up in a fûcked up place".
"Amazing how she kept returning - almost like she was seeking out the trauma with zero benefit." - oh no she got paid for this stuff from her activities online. That's the part they don't want you hearing. And that 'easy life' is something a LOT of young women aspire to be. They simply don't want to work. They only see trading 'tricks' for money sort of mentality which is sad.
@@AlphaOmega888 I just find it mad how she met up with him in the 1st place. Without even seeing his face! or knowing his age. Just not sure i even believe the story, tbh. Sounds outrageous. The young girls I know are only gonna meet someone if they've seen his face and think he's hot lol.
Parents need to wake the F up !!! I’m a parent and over my dead body. ! You gotta be there for your child ! Be present, make them feel heard and loved and that they mean so much to you and the world. It’s not hard. Just be there for your child !
i can’t believe how much evil is happening behind the scenes. god bless this girl, her resilience is so incredible. i hope she has nothing but love and care for the rest of her life
this could have been me!!!!!!!! i literally LIVED on omegle and almost took a flight secretly to new york..at 13 years old, its so easy for teenagers to hide things and the manipulation is so real i could only imagine how it is now :/ shes so brave for sharing, this will help alot of young girls and boys
What do you think your parents/guardians could have done if anything to avoid this? I talk to my daughter, try to monitor her online but teenagers can be sneaky when they want to. This type of stuff ( among many things) scare me. I try to balance give her the trust she earned with protecting her.
@@ctilly5859 Coming from another teenager I would say education and keep an open like of communication between you and your child. You don’t know what you don’t know and it’s better your child hears about things from you rather than other kids.
Thanks for the replies. Raising children is so difficult nowadays. We have to deal with the internet, threats of violence everywhere, self harm etc. I just want to raise good kids who are smart and aware but who can also enjoy the short amount of time they have as children. B/c adulthood 🥴
I had a similar experience being online too young and I'm mercifully not really traumatized but it haunts me how few grown men would end conversations with me when I would openly say I was 12-15. The majority seemed perfectly happy to chat with a child
Honestly the fact that being groomed online as a child was just a run of the mill thing growing up for me is pretty alarming. When I think back, it’s scary how many pedophiles there actually are.
Wow. This caused me to write a whole timeline out of my sexual trauma that I truly didn’t realize was that serious. Thank you for sharing you story. Know that people share extremely exteremly similar stories. Thank you.
@@nicokl5593 literally!! These men are for sure still out there hurting other children. It makes me feel so damn sick. Parents should’ve been more concerned
Tupac’s “thug life” is actually an acronym for- The hate you give little infants fuck everybody” Basicly- all child abuse is the reason our world is so fucked up.
mostly every women I know were moleste and groomed. Most sexualized their trauma with reenactment and CNC of their childhood. it is very common and promiscuity can be therapeutic
Thank you for sharing your story. This is helpful for me as a mom, to be more attentive to my children and to look for red flags and warning signs of abuse: I’m glad that you are healing. You’re a brave young woman. Thank you!
It's like a child that got caught in a rip-tide, getting dragged further and further away from safety. What an amazingly positive journey from darkness back into the light of day. Respect.
i just recently realized i was verbally abused on the internet by a 27 year old man when i was around 11, please be careful with giving your young daughter full acess to the internet at that age
It makes me feel conflicted about what to coach my kids (whenever I have them in the future)…like on one hand, I’d want to urge them to try to befriend the kids that have these rumors about them so that the rumored kids are not alone but on the other, it would put them at a higher risk of getting roped in and experiencing the same/similar abuse…I truly don’t know what the best policy is
@@karinagutierrez7134 tell them ways to help and advice they can give to girls in these situations. Teach them to be safe and always come to you if they feel something might be wrong.
This story is horrifying. I can’t believe that you went through that. Especially so young. No child should ever witness, let alone endure such disgusting acts. It’s beautiful that she has turned her experiences into growth. Becoming a therapist is such a good career. I’m so glad you became inspired and found the silver lining in your story. Sending unconditional love to you. I hope the rest of your journey in life is positive ❤
She just so brave and strong for being able to tell this story without breaking, i was literally crying, i’m so proud of her too and i hope she’s able to help thousands of people when she finishes her masters. Really heartbreaking but inspiring story.❤
I listen to every episode and this was one of my favs. She is a very good story teller. Not everyone has that ability. I felt like I was listening to an audiobook while she was telling her story. She should write a book! She's got the voice for audible😊
I would have liked to know more, like what her parents and sisters reaction was and how is she dealing now with all the trauma and how all of it has affected her idea of men/is she able to date or just build meaningful relationships with men of any age. Anyway Dev this podcast is absolutely amazing and it gives voice to people that don't have it to talk about stuff it's not talked enough so please keep up the good job❤️
This hits close to home. I was also groomed by a man when I was 15. He was 22. I was fortunate enough that he was a broke college student living in a different country, so we never met. He groomed me until I was 17. I was also fortunate enough to have women around me that would question my relationship and question him. They helped me realized that something was wrong. I also started reading little bits of feminism and things that helped me understand that his view of the world was screwed. He asked me for pictures, but I never sent him any. Then, when he was 24 and got a new job as an engineer, he told me about his plans of coming to visit me. He made the mistake of telling me exactly what he was planning to do. He knew I didn't want kids, so he told me he was going to kidnap me and keep me locked in his hotel room until I got pregnant. I freaked out. By that time he knew where I lived. I told him I was going to tell my parents and the police, so he quickly changed his mind. I blocked him. Later I got to know that he was also grooming a girl that just turned 12 that same year. A month later, he was getting married to one of his coworkers.
he groomed you until you were 17? in most states you can be groomed only until you reach the age of consent in that state. Most states its 16, unless you're in Utah or something. Anyway, good to know you scared him away.
Horrifying and absolutely revolting. Simply can’t believe she went through this. Strong, strong girl but she didn’t deserve any of this. No one deserves this. Sickening.
Dude. The utter heartbreak this gave me. You are so damn strong. I’m interested in hearing your parents reaction when you finally told them all of this.
The amount of men that prey on young girls is truly disturbing to me. I think back of when I was a teen and the amount of times I came in contact with creepy men is unbelievable. Middle school teachers or assistants. High school coaches. Internet weirdos on chats. Good thing my parents talked to me about the dangers. But what if I had parents like hers? So many men out there like vultures just waiting for their opportunity to catch a 13 yr old virgin.
These podcasts are so interesting. The way we end up learning and having to adapt to whatever happened to us is just incredible. Now it's always moving forward :)
This ladies story is just so mind blowing. After her abuser stops communication with her, she just continues on the missions. This is so heart breaking.
Thanks so much for opening up and telling your very hurtful story. You can be so proud of yourself for publicly working through your trauma and have others learn from and heal with you. It's amazing that you're able to rewire your brain and reclaim your thoughts
All these people who keep saying "why didn't she leave" "why not say no" "why keep doing things" clearly don't understand that children, even when they're 18, don't have fully developed brains. That along with the abuse of the groomer would make any person vulnerable and open to making further bad decisions. It's not the victim's fault, it's the 45 year old man's and all the other people who enabled it along the way.
Totally agreed. They also literally prove her exact point at the end that people always ask “why” when they instead need to come from a place of understanding when someone goes through trauma like this
watching this video opened my eyes to how lucky i was. i too was groomed on omegle and skype at 13, but i thankfully didn’t let it get to the point of meeting in person, although he did want that. i have other trauma and found other similarities to my story and this one. to the interviewee, thank you for coming on and discussing this. it made me, and i’m sure others, feel less alone.
All of the disgusting men who took advantage of her deserved to be in jail. Yea she got older but obviously still had that mindset of when she was first introduced to all of this, I'm glad she's getting the help she needs. Some men are disgusting & I'm sad none of the ones in her life tried to help her
thank you devorah for giving people outlets and allowing them to tell their stories and spread awareness. it's beautiful. i hope this woman heals and stays as strong and inspiring as she is
I was anxious to watch this podcast as I have survived a similar situation with being groomed from 12 to 17. I decided to try my best as I would like to have the comfort of someone sharing their story and knowing I'm not alone. It makes me want to share mine, but sometimes I don't know how to encapsulate what happened. I have never shared the full truth because of how humiliated I felt. I still think back to specific memories and feel the burn in my cheeks for how embarrassed I was to let something like that happen. It's so difficult to go back to those moments and admit them out loud. I'm so appreciative to hear Erica's story to know I'm not alone. I'm so proud of her for finding her voice.
you didnt “let it happen” to you. dont degrade yourself like that, you’ve already been through enough :/ embarrassment does not exist and shame on those people who did that to you
@leska thank you for the kind words, it means a lot. I agree with you, shame on him for doing such a thing. These days, I mostly feel anger towards him. I'm trying to work on processing this moment of my life, and even after ten years, I can feel the embarrassment that I felt then like it never left. Trauma never leaves the body. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers. I no longer feel that way on a normal basis, only when I revisit the trauma. I was a child and I was taken advantage of. I take no blame, I don't mean to discredit myself. I made it through a horrible situation and I love who I am today. I'm proud of myself. Thank you again for your kindness. 🩷
I was also groomed. But my parents were emotionally neglectful and abusive so that’s why I seemed approval and “love” from older men on the internet. I hope my daughters never go through this 😢
This story is horrific and it is amazing that this young woman was able to survive this abuse. I hope she is so proud of herself for being able to overcome the abuse she experienced, and for having the courage to share this story! She is going to make an incredible therapist!
This was such a traumatic story. But I feel like a lot of questions were not asked. Like how was her relationship with other girls? How didn’t anyone notice bruises or cuts she had at school or at home? How did therapy go? What kind of people were at the parties? How did her parents react? I have so many questions
Yeah and she had 2 older sisters? But nobody was looking out for her? Nobody noticed her Skyping or knew who she was talking to...so strange to me. Sad that she was so isolated that this was able to happen.
This his heartbreaking. I can't get over the fact that in the midst of this horrible traumatic experience, her teenage self managed to find a way to protect other girls from going through the same. Thanks for sharing your story ❤
What a harrowing history. Keep an eye on your kids’ internet activity 😢 Seriously, amazing job taking the steps to take your life down a different path. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck with this next chapter!
This was not only grooming but it was also sex trafficking.
that’s what I was thinking
I think for it to be sex trafficking it has to be for profit
and rape. who tf is this guy
@@thenewimahichI guess you have no understanding of how differently a child’s mind works compared to an adults
@@Sukisukigirl444 guess not, guess its alright to accept grooming all the way up to 20 years old and now have the mental capacity to say yea maybe this is bad
“ I can see the sadness in your eyes” yup this man knew exactly what he was doing and had done it many times before
Yeah, and unfortunately that scumbag and many others are still out there
At 13 i had an entire friend group do shit like this to me and essentially pass me around to traumatize. They definitely have a routine and move onto the next child the second one is too argumentative and gets the hint that these are creeps.
she is lying. Wake up she is smiling the whole time , come to think of it she is such a disgrace to true victim's.
she want's attention and guess what she is getting it now
@@SirHumphrey498 grow up
That hotel receptionist infuriates me. I have rage beyond words that she let that happen. She knew better.
Probably bribed
I know right? That’s so absolutely disgusting. The receptionist basically enabled the rape of a child.
I was wondering what if he told the hotel that he was meeting his kid, like his daughter ... maybe give her the benefit of doubt
idk if not, it is disgusting
@@Adrianadelnorte oh that’s possible, I didn’t think of that. But at the same time, I feel like hotel receptionists might know better? Idk
Exactly! Bystander syndrom is a big problem!
At my old job our hotel employees paid attention to customers esp to anyone who seemed upset, acted weird or intoxicated. We would often ask are you okay if we seen someone crying. We had 911 on speed dial. I'm a big believer in watching my surroundings!
And we keep missing persons pics up so we can keep a look out too. Public safety is huge for me. I hate bystander syndrom
She said she didn’t know why she was depressed, but then described being starved for attention and how her parents didn’t think anything of her not eating dinner and I felt like there was a lot of emotional neglect . I hope she gets the therapy and counseling she needs to heal fully from this.
In the video she talked about getting the therapy and counseling she needed and continues to see her therapist
I was thinking that too… like why wouldn’t you ask your child why their aren’t eating ? How do you just let that go as a normal behavior.
I mean yes we’ve all thought about our image as teens but to completely avoid eating AT HOME on a regular basis… isn’t normal. Major red flag.
How a teenarger could find a 45 years old men attractive? Like was a sugar daddy stuff?
@@masterwerneck she didn't find him attractive, she was emotionally manipulated.
@@barbrothers2she is young and attractive, said that it's reasonable to assume she doesn't lack attention.
As a teen who was in chat groups and enjoyed male attention and was ignorant to how dangerous it could be, thank you for sharing your story. I think my only saving grace is my parents telling me to never let people I didn’t know to know where I lived.
This could have been any of us.
Yeah it was the same for me. I actively went looking for men in chatrooms when I was like 14. But I watched so much SVU and had become obsessed with this one internet safety video when I was younger, rewatching it like 30 times for some reason.. so I just.. never gave away my location... City, state, etc. Even my time zone was changed. I got really good at getting them to say what state they were from first so I could say that I was from the state furthest away from theirs lmao
Same here, I spoke to a lot of people online but my mom was super strict and I was always too scared to actually meet anyone in person but it made me think of how it could have easily happened to me if I ever did.
exactly! i was on tinder at 16…actively seeking them out. the only difference is that we got lucky. so scary. that first man 100% trafficked her
Millennial Money
@@efil1607 wtf
This one of the most disturbing stories I've ever heard; it's something no child no teen no woman should ever experience but it's a story every parent should know and be on alert for.
True.
No one should ever experience this. Many boys go through this too, it's just people don't pay that much attention to them.
This is an abomination. 🤮
Also something that MOST women do experience, to some extent. One hundred percent due directly to father’s bailing on their children during their “mid life crisis” which happens to be during their childrens teen years.
If parents don't pay attention to their children someone else will. She was certainly desperate for attention and love as a child and completely manipulated and changes by her experiences and her parents never noticed.
Neither should boys or men. It's obvioulsy a issue that concerns more girls and women but let us not overlook the men as well.
Can we all agree to stop testing on animals and test on adults who do this shit to children?
SHE IS NOT INNOCENT IN ALL OF THIS.SHE KEPT THE 3 WEBSITES AND STILL WENT TO THE BDSM CLUB AFER SHE CUT TIES WITH THE MAIN GUY WHO HAS NOT BEEN CAUGHT YET EVEN THOUGH HOTEL RECORDS COULD BE SEARCHED.SHE HAD CHANCES TO FREE HERSELF.SHE ENJOYED IT,THERE IS A REASON WHY AMERICA IS THE KING COUNTRY FOR PORN .ITS BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY YOUNG GIRLS LIKE THIS THERE WHO GO ON TO BE PORN ACTRESSES. WHEN LANA RHOADES WAS 14 SHE TOLD A TEACHER IN HER SCHOOL THAT SHE WANTED TO BE A PORN ACTRESS SO EVEN AT A YOUNGER AGE SHE KNEW SHE WANTED TO DO IT
THIS WOMAN HAD A CHANCE TO RUN IN THE HOTEL .I DONT BUY HER STORY AT ALL
ABSOLUTELY
Right!!!
Genius
JEFFERY MARSH FIRST PLEASE THE DISGUSTING CREEPY PIECE OF TRASH
what's even scarier is how many millennial/gen-z girls can relate to this including myself. i cant say how many of us ever went as far as actually meeting up with said older men, but the damage done by sending explicit pictures and receiving them in return and not knowing where those pictures of yourself are today is a pain that i cant even put into words. she is so brave for sharing her story and i commend her.
I know right! I got chills listening to this and thinking about when I used to go on sites like Omegle as a teenager because this could’ve happened to me or any of us. I’m glad to see people speaking out about this and I hope that anyone going through similar things will come across this video.
I know right, I was blackmailed with my photos as a child and had no one to tell because I didn’t want to get in trouble. We need like a Facebook support group for this or something lol
@Vicious I never had kids, but those thoughts always went through my mind, that I'd never want my child to feel like they couldn't talk to me.
These predators bank on the disconnect that exists between parents and their children.
The notion of the parents of "well my child would never" or "that could never happen to my child" are deceiving and dangerous fallacies.
Anything can happen to anybody and one should take all possibilities into consideration.
I used to be a schoolbus driver and that attitude almost cost one of my students life.
Her sister had made me aware that she had participated with another student in snorting pain pills on the bus. I had thought I had been vigilant enough to catch anything, but they had timed it just ever so perfectly.
I didn't dismiss the claim and investigated and thanked the sister for reaching out to me despite the possibility of "trouble".
I submitted my video to my supervisor for review and he came up with many explanations on how that situation probably had not happened at all.
Kids make up stuff all the time was one of those etc.
I pushed him to keep reviewing the footage with me and then it happened and we found evidence.
Ofcourse there was disciplinary action from the school.
I had contacted the family about it and was invited to their home for lunch where we discussed the situation even though I had no further part take in the consequences, but I shared my brother in laws fate who had started drugs in high-school and who had been in a medical coma for several weeks at the time and was dying in his 30ies.
I just wanted to show the longterm effects of what they had chosen to engage in.
This was a few years ago and my brother in law passed away, but the girls are now living a happy and healthy life.
Dangers can come from all sides and in this case it came from a fellow student who had suggested they should try this and the girl got the pain pills from her father's dresser who was suffering from ptsd.
They were only 12.
I say I never had kids...but at one point in my mind..I had 52 kids on my bus...and I loved them all and tried my best to give good counsel and protect them even if I wasn't the parent.
I am to this day proud of the sister that confided in me when she was probably very scared about what her sister would think and the consequences about "snitching" ...the fear of losing her sister and not speaking up may have caused her to actually lose her sister.
Both girls are my heroes ❤️.
Can definitely relate to this, I was a 2002 baby and grew up in that period where social media had no filters and parents weren’t aware of anything
while we were like KIDS like 12...13 years old. its so sad.
The part about the receptionist was so crushing. She didn't ask any questions about this little girl who was a "friend" of this 45 y/o man, which is already so questionable on her part. The part where the receptionist saw her after the assault and avoided her speaks volumes. She knew something was wrong. Bystanders like that make me lose hope in humanity, man.
I was a hotel receptionist at 2 different hotels. That was such a depressing job bc it’s nonstop complaints and creepy things like this happened all the time. I’d tell the hotel managers and they always shrugged. After awhile you stop caring bc NOTHING is being done.
@@stuff1784 Because you are set up to be a servant and if a hotel worker makes an accusation and can't prove it you can lose your job and nothing will be done anyway.
I think the disgusting pigs that take advantage of kids make me lose hope in humanity actually. As well as the comments that focus their anger at the "bystander" rather than the perpetrator.
I know she says nothing caused her depression as a young child but from what she goes on to talk about, it sounds like emotional neglect was at play. Emotional neglect from parents is another form of abuse ☹️
Exactly! She was starving for attention and was set up for this by parental neglect.
Spot on
Yes , the fact that all of this happened to a 13 year old and her parents had zero idea
Right like ten year olds don’t just get depressed for no reason
I’m at the 40 minute mark, and I must say the parents of this brave young woman played a HUGE part in how this came to pass. Unbelievable.
I was thinking the same. I hope she doesn’t talk to them anymore
So many adults in this story should have noticed. And she is still wildly successful despite all the ways people failed her
@@anniem2777 she does. She said at the end that she opened up to her parents 2 weeks ago about what happened and the justice system is pursuing legal action towards her abusers.
As a daughter, a survivor, a mother- it is not all on the parents. I got into alot of seriously dangerous situations as a teenager (a CHILD), and wasn't willing to tell my parents what was going on. And even when I did.. there's almost a disbelief they go through. Denial. Grief. All the stages of... how could this happen to my child and I didnt see it? Some parents (like my own) had 4 other children besides myself, and had their own battles with mental health as well.
Parents are human too. No parent would ever wish this upon their child. And I'm sure after they found out 2 weeks ago, they most likely blamed themselves too.
Our parents didnt grow up knowing the dangers of the internet. They didnt know what we wouldnt share with them, especially when you've already decided you're the black sheep of the family.
I am not blaming the child here either. These adult men preying online are to blame for normalizing these behaviors.
Hope the abuser does some serious time.
@moroni77 what do you mean by that? They are at fault or they saved her from the first guy
Nauseating… this poor girl. I fell victim to the internet too at a young age. So terrifying as parents and siblings of young kids now, how do we protect them without keeping them completely sheltered? Too much evil in this world. This girl is a hero❤
At this point I feel like a sheltered life is better than what is currently out there. Although there will be trauma with having a sheltered life, at least it wouldn’t be as bad as being abused by someone
Idk babe. Education.
Educate them? Don't hide the truth or be naive. The internet predators . Internet In general. Sex. Intimacy vs intimidating manipulation or grooming or peer pressure or trends. Confidence and insecurities our own stuff from their age. Try to have the most open door open minded all questions welcome relationship. Tell them the truth bc this world is disgusting as much as I'd love for it to be glitter and gold. It isn't and we have to prepare our children. Somehow
@Jordan Kay completely agree with you. No matter how much you shelter someone, you can't protect them from the truth and real world, because they will eventually have to face the world or the world will find them. When that happens, we should at least have taught them how to defend themselves from these kind of predatory people.
She's not sad or unhappy.
My kids will not have social media until they move out of the house and a severely restricted iPhone limited to text, weather and calling. It’s easy you just have to parent.
Being the first generation that grew up with the internet came with a whole set of new trauma our parents had no idea about. Sending love to everyone out there who can relate to this story in any way 🤍
Maybe for older parents but I know I sure wasn’t ignorant of any of it. I experienced the same exact thing with the caveat that my groomer/rapist was 40 and I was 12-13, and he was my step brother in law.
Regardless my oldest is 22 now and we have always had filters on our computers and technology. It is definitely hard but absolutely necessary.
as soon as she said he was in the military i remembered your other video about the woman that was trafficked by her husband. just because they’re in the military doesn’t mean they’re good people
To grew up around military people, including higher rank. 80% of them where abusers or pedos. I don’t trust many after what I’ve seen from my childhood.
There is a very good documentary about sexual assault in the military by military officers it’s called “The Invisible War” I believe it’s even uploaded on TH-cam
That mind programming thing that she spoke about is a true tactic that is used on them and it’s played while they sleep. It encourages them to “do their job”. I know cause I had a few friends who came back but only one was honest enough to share that.
Military men are actually the worst. Lmao I don’t know how they got the rep of being good. They constantly cheat on their partners, with other male and female soldiers, buy Prostitutes. Lost of rape outside of IS bases
They get abused in the military then come back and have ptsd and abuse others and have a shitty quality of life after.I been thru it. Still confused n traumatized til this day
The fact that her parents never knew or noticed her bruises and behaviours and went to a bday party without accompanying her or calling the parents says a lot. She was not protected the way she needed to be sadly her parents failed her on that
Kinda what I thought. When we were staying the night at friend’s houses, we knew not to be lying because our parents are gonna talk to theirs
No kidding
Yep exactly.
I’m not even 20 minutes in & the way she mentions “oh his wife didn’t know about our relationship…” breaks my heart. It’s not a relationship when it’s a child and a grown man, but that verbiage describes how she felt at that age in that moment and it’s just so heartbreaking.
Everytime she said relationship I audibly growled and swore.
As a 59 yo man I can sympathize with this girl 100% because the mother of my children was abused throughout her childhood until I met her, but by that time the damage was done and she can't even bond with her own children let alone pair bond with a husband that loved her. This abuse at an early age is so traumatic that it changes the course of lives. I can't begin to imagine how different my life would've been with my wife and children if she had a normal, loving upbringing. Instead she left us when the children were 1 and 3 and disappeared into the underbelly of the sex trade in the Bronx never to come back to be a mother to our children again. So sad....
Sending you a virtual hug from across the globe ❤
Sending another virtual hug from Portugal ✨
🫂
sending hugs ❤❤
Please know the children will probably be in a better place with you. I believe her absence is better than your children go through abuse and neglect with her. It is a sad situation, but we are all humans and make choices in life.
The fact that she is pursuing legal proceedings is wonderful. I really hope she gets justice. she deserves it
This is traumatizing especially for a 13 year old.... whoever that man was.. deserves the worst fate..AM so proud of her, she has a strong spirit and strong woman ...
I wish we knew his name lol
@@Hannerknowsbest I agreeeeeeee
Sounds like Chris d Elia
@@Hannerknowsbest THERE IS A LOT OF LYING GOING ON BECAUSE SHE COULD FIND HIS NAME EASY FROM HOTEL RECORDS.
@@MARKTHESHARK101 Of course you a male say this typical from your gender!!
groomed is understatement 😞she’s been thru so much
Assaulted, trafficked, pimped, CP made of her
And it was all self imposed. 0 tears for someone this dumb.
This made me cry, I don’t think other people understand how often us gen Z’s were groomed online, especially on omegle, kik and whisper. I feel sick to my stomach remembering how I was groomed from 14-20 thinking it was love. How my friends would talk to older men as well
kik and whisper are HELL. i would be so scared if i saw that my child had those on their smartphone.
It's amazing that adults knowingly give their children access to the internet like this. It is so so scary - children do not have the brain development to understand what is happening in these situations, it's like sending your child out into the world alone.
omg thank u for mentioning KIK, i remember a lot of older men trying to groom me there
That's super sad.
Kik haunts me
This is absolutely horrid. Crazy to think that parents today allow their kids to have their own devices. Predators are EVERYWHERE. So terrifying, she was so so young. Sharing her story will only help spread awareness. Thank you for this episode
THIS!
YEP EVERYWHERE AND I BELIEVE IT WAS ALL THE GUYS WIFES IDEA TO GET A SEX SLAVE.
I honestly think it’s better to let your kids have their own devices while you teach them about appropriate and responsible use rather than deny them access all together. Otherwise you’ll get a kid that feels like their ‘wise’ enough to use them on their own when they get older while they’re far too inexperienced to be careful.
@@IAmContemporary i politely disagree with you in my experience my parents were highly religious and i still did things that i’ll always regret online, i will teach my kids the dangers of the internet and keep them informed, but i would rather not give them one until they are an adult i dont want my kids in the dark, but i would like to protect them as long as i can
@@camden7573 What age would you give them a device ?
As a Mom of a little girl, this breaks my heart. It also makes me incredibly angry that she was not protected by her parents at such a young and impressionable age when she was clearly struggling.
As a podcast host you are amazing. You let your guest tell their stories and ask the perfect follow up questions. Thank you for highlighting people’s stories
When she said she was starved for attention got me. Young girls like her are exactly what predators look for. It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I found out about grooming. Wish I had known at an earlier age and not thought that dating/talking to older men was cool.
it truly is neglect (which is a form of abuse) when a parent doesn't notice their child going through something like this, or teach them how to be safe online. I mean she said she came from a good environment with a happy family life, two parents who were still together, and 2 older sisters, but that doesn't mean much apparently
"When she said she was starved for attention got me. Young girls like her are exactly what predators look for." - lol what attention was she not getting? Some girls are 'wired different' and want more and more of what feels good. There's a money part to all this she doesn't discuss.
@@AlphaOmega888.... how much more wrong can you be?
This is soooo ridiculously insane. Made my blood boil. Thank you for sharing her story. Very well done
Same, my blood boil not only because of the predators but how the parent's are allowing this to happen
I am so glad to hear so much awareness in her story and the fact that she doesn't blame herself. I hope she finds healing and continues to know that none of this was her fault.
I work with women in the sex industry and she’s absolutely correct - the stats are that 89% of women in the industry have experienced sexual trauma prior to entering into this line of work.
You are such a brave lady! Thanks for sharing with such vulnerability. I pray that you find healing and can continue to share your story & help bring healing to others ❤
"he was in the military" disgusting human being, what a disgrace. we can't trust anybody just because they're a vet, a cop, a clergyman...
YES I always urge people to look up Joe Gliniewicz if they need proof of this
the sponsorship ad in the middle felt a little inappropriate…. maybe do that at the start or end rather than interrupting a very serious story with an advertisement
Thank you for your feedback, we will work on this for future episodes. When scheduling ads so far in advance of filming the episodes, it can be difficult to predict the topic and seriousness of the episode itself. We never want to give the impression of downplaying our guests’ stories.
Time to upgrade to you tube premium 😅 ads are fine, these channels have to make a some 💰 somehow
@@asauce_ayoI have TH-cam premium and still have the in content ads from the actual channel.
Stories like this just reaffirm how much I want to tell my future children that they can tell me everything ESPECIALLY if an adult tells them to keep a secret
Her parents completely failed her.
I will be forever grateful for the manager of the Queen Mary hotel in Long Beach who noticed that my two daughters were traveling without any bags or weather appropriate clothing and aborted a kidnapping by my ex in 1983. The Long Beach police were notified and he was arrested that night before any harm occurred.
the whiplash i got from the video going from “the men would take me from my high school to a different location” to “this video is sponsored by athletic greens 🤗” was ASTOUNDING. i can’t believe that happened in the middle of a video with this sensitive of a subject. i get doing it in the beginning, but right in the middle of her sentence?
I agree. Disrespectful
Made me wretch
That was unacceptable...
That doesn't sound like grooming to me... That's rape and molesting a child. I am so mad that this person is free and not held accountable...
To what you said at the end about someone going into a hyper sexual mode after sexual trauma. It’s because it marks you, that sexual trauma puts a mark on you that says “this is what you’re for” “this is your purpose” “this is your worth”. It’s not true but it’s so hard to remove that mark and overcome such a deep deep betrayal and violation.
Very relatable
Also it can bd easier to see yourself as having secretly wanted it than to have been betrayed, especially if the abuser was someone you trusted
Wow.. I never thought of it that way. My abuser gave me an std at 13… and i thought no one would ever love me. So when I was 15/16 and I discovered men would sleep with me, I went wild
Baby girl 😭 I’m so proud of her for speaking up. I was groomed at 15 by a sugar daddy (became many many different ones) that I met online. It snowballed in a similar way to her story. I also had depression and anxiety at a very young age. While everyone’s experience is unique to them, I feel a lot more at peace knowing that there are people out there that understand and empathize.
Sending an internet hug
how many were there
grooming is a understatement, she was blatantly being sex trafficked and tortured psychically and mentally. poor girl
This episode really hurt, to know that there are so many girls who have gone through this and might still be going through it. I know she’s gonna be a great therapist.
im only 30 minutes in but, this is so heartbreaking. I hope she's doing okay
the amount of times i thought the story couldn’t get any worse and then it did was insane
i'm speechless. she's so strong for being able to tell her story. i've been on the internet talking to strangers since i was 10 as well, and things could have very easily gone wrong but i have gotten so lucky. my parents definitely did a better job at keeping track of where i was, who i was with, etc. i hope she knows that it was not her fault because so many people in her life failed her. i wish her the happiest life possible.
I always prefer a therapist who’s been through trauma, I have a heard time telling people the most awful parts of my life when they haven’t seen the darkness I’ve seen. Best of luck on your journey Erica! And congrats on your amazing academic achievements.
This has been the most difficult episode to watch for me. In many ways I feel I can relate to her, and it is hearbreaking that so much of us had to live episodes of abuse in our lives because of different reasons. For all of you who can relate, I hope you are getting better everyday 💙
Sending love.This podcast hit home in places that no one knows
this is the 3rd episode i've watched so far and really respect all the victims coming forward, such a respectful setting and host. love the kitty therapy too!
this is so heartbreaking, I hope they’re able to find the first guy and stop him. who knows how many victims he could possibly have.
This man needs to be behind bars!! and parents need to do a better job protecting their children 😡
Despite having experienced many bad times in her life, she is still able to speak about them in a way that is both forceful and tender.
I was groomed by a guy from 12 to about 14-16, he still will message me on various thinks that he finds me on. but it was so similar to the guy she was was describing. He had military experience, married, wanted me more submissive. We only did things via phone/skype, but he was never super aggressive or mean. I'm honestly thankful I never met him or anything like that, but I honestly feel so much for you girl. I am glad you keep living your life and trying to do the best you can for yourself
so so so scary, i am very happy you've never met him irl
DID YOU TELL YOUR PARENTS AND POLICE?
Funny how all these males want submission this is why I scoff when they say they want submissive women 🙄
@@missandry2669 SHE IS A NASTY LIAR.SHE LOVED IT ALL
Maybe it's the same guy.
Omg this story really broke my heart for this young lady🥺 I’m so glad she had the courage to get on here and share her story. It takes a lot of strength to do that. I’m proud of her for turning her life around and learning from her experiences
I’m in my mid 30s and the amount of A/S/L chat room messages that were lies brings back so much trauma. Yahoo, MSN, AIM chat rooms and cameras were so pivotal to us and looking back now scares me so bad. As much good came with the internet is double the bad. Even if parents think we aren’t doing something bad, oh we knew and we knew how to lie.
Almost passed out or vomited hearing all this (as a person who was groomed at a young age as well). Thanks to both of u for keeping this interview RAW and REAL, and bringing this serious topic to the public eye. I still don’t understand how can some people blindly judge groomed adults as naïve or sluts (after making the choices we made to stay with the abuser IN THE PAST). Society is so F-ed up.
Amazing how she kept returning - almost like she was seeking out the trauma with zero benefit. I was screaming in my head - “don’t go back!” But I guess that’s the power of grooming mixed with depression and other psychological frailties. It’s so sad and disturbing. Kudos to her for her willingness to discuss AND to punish the rapists. Everyone at those BDSM parties should be held accountable.
It rewires your brain and abusers know this. That’s why they seek out the young and disturbed.
Where does personal responsibility lies in all this? Like literally you get a*ally r*ped and continue for other 5 years escalating even more? Without reporting anything, without stopping even after police blocked it for you?
At this point let's condone even the homicides that 18yo commits, because "they grew up in a fûcked up place".
"Amazing how she kept returning - almost like she was seeking out the trauma with zero benefit." - oh no she got paid for this stuff from her activities online. That's the part they don't want you hearing. And that 'easy life' is something a LOT of young women aspire to be. They simply don't want to work. They only see trading 'tricks' for money sort of mentality which is sad.
@@AlphaOmega888 I just find it mad how she met up with him in the 1st place. Without even seeing his face! or knowing his age. Just not sure i even believe the story, tbh. Sounds outrageous. The young girls I know are only gonna meet someone if they've seen his face and think he's hot lol.
This is why it’s so important for parents to pay attention to their kids and show them love
Parents need to wake the F up !!! I’m a parent and over my dead body. ! You gotta be there for your child ! Be present, make them feel heard and loved and that they mean so much to you and the world. It’s not hard. Just be there for your child !
i can’t believe how much evil is happening behind the scenes. god bless this girl, her resilience is so incredible. i hope she has nothing but love and care for the rest of her life
Growing up on the internet is now proven to harm mental health.
its basically like free real estate for pedos and creeps
No shit it's common sense. You shouldn't need any "expert" to tell you that
@@nicoleavery7238 or experience it yourself… lol
@catheh17 rates have went up social media isn’t good for a child’s brain and it’s so widespread
this could have been me!!!!!!!! i literally LIVED on omegle and almost took a flight secretly to new york..at 13 years old, its so easy for teenagers to hide things and the manipulation is so real
i could only imagine how it is now :/ shes so brave for sharing, this will help alot of young girls and boys
What do you think your parents/guardians could have done if anything to avoid this? I talk to my daughter, try to monitor her online but teenagers can be sneaky when they want to. This type of stuff ( among many things) scare me. I try to balance give her the trust she earned with protecting her.
@@ctilly5859 Coming from another teenager I would say education and keep an open like of communication between you and your child. You don’t know what you don’t know and it’s better your child hears about things from you rather than other kids.
Thanks for the replies. Raising children is so difficult nowadays. We have to deal with the internet, threats of violence everywhere, self harm etc. I just want to raise good kids who are smart and aware but who can also enjoy the short amount of time they have as children. B/c adulthood 🥴
Show your daughter videos like this
I had a similar experience being online too young and I'm mercifully not really traumatized but it haunts me how few grown men would end conversations with me when I would openly say I was 12-15. The majority seemed perfectly happy to chat with a child
Women often say most men would be pedo if they could and are attacked for saying it
My jaw literally hit the floor when she said he was 45 !
Honestly the fact that being groomed online as a child was just a run of the mill thing growing up for me is pretty alarming. When I think back, it’s scary how many pedophiles there actually are.
That first man should be in jail forever. I wonder how many young girls he destroyed? What a monster.
Wow. This caused me to write a whole timeline out of my sexual trauma that I truly didn’t realize was that serious. Thank you for sharing you story. Know that people share extremely exteremly similar stories. Thank you.
Id love to read your time line
Her parents... WHAT were they doing!?!? Sitting on their arses, twiddling their thumbs! Don't wipe her phone and computer GIVE IT TO THE COPS!!!?????
Yeah that was so odd. I can’t believe they wiped all of the information, why not go to the police.
@@nicokl5593 literally!! These men are for sure still out there hurting other children. It makes me feel so damn sick. Parents should’ve been more concerned
Child abuse is way more common than people realize, and a root cause of so much dysfunction in society
Tupac’s “thug life” is actually an acronym for- The hate you give little infants fuck everybody” Basicly- all child abuse is the reason our world is so fucked up.
mostly every women I know were moleste and groomed. Most sexualized their trauma with reenactment and CNC of their childhood. it is very common and promiscuity can be therapeutic
Thank you for sharing your story. This is helpful for me as a mom, to be more attentive to my children and to look for red flags and warning signs of abuse: I’m glad that you are healing. You’re a brave young woman. Thank you!
It's like a child that got caught in a rip-tide, getting dragged further and further away from safety.
What an amazingly positive journey from darkness back into the light of day. Respect.
Giving these women a platform is huge, thank you Devorah for all that you do! 💛 Hope all is well for you boo
i just recently realized i was verbally abused on the internet by a 27 year old man when i was around 11, please be careful with giving your young daughter full acess to the internet at that age
She was smart enough to catfish her abuser so that she didn't actually have to involve two other girls.
It makes me feel conflicted about what to coach my kids (whenever I have them in the future)…like on one hand, I’d want to urge them to try to befriend the kids that have these rumors about them so that the rumored kids are not alone but on the other, it would put them at a higher risk of getting roped in and experiencing the same/similar abuse…I truly don’t know what the best policy is
@@karinagutierrez7134 tell them ways to help and advice they can give to girls in these situations. Teach them to be safe and always come to you if they feel something might be wrong.
@@karinagutierrez7134that's when you need to get the school counselors involved
This story is horrifying. I can’t believe that you went through that. Especially so young. No child should ever witness, let alone endure such disgusting acts. It’s beautiful that she has turned her experiences into growth. Becoming a therapist is such a good career. I’m so glad you became inspired and found the silver lining in your story. Sending unconditional love to you. I hope the rest of your journey in life is positive ❤
She just so brave and strong for being able to tell this story without breaking, i was literally crying, i’m so proud of her too and i hope she’s able to help thousands of people when she finishes her masters. Really heartbreaking but inspiring story.❤
I listen to every episode and this was one of my favs. She is a very good story teller. Not everyone has that ability. I felt like I was listening to an audiobook while she was telling her story. She should write a book! She's got the voice for audible😊
I would have liked to know more, like what her parents and sisters reaction was and how is she dealing now with all the trauma and how all of it has affected her idea of men/is she able to date or just build meaningful relationships with men of any age.
Anyway Dev this podcast is absolutely amazing and it gives voice to people that don't have it to talk about stuff it's not talked enough so please keep up the good job❤️
They seemed not to care at all
This hits close to home. I was also groomed by a man when I was 15. He was 22. I was fortunate enough that he was a broke college student living in a different country, so we never met. He groomed me until I was 17. I was also fortunate enough to have women around me that would question my relationship and question him. They helped me realized that something was wrong. I also started reading little bits of feminism and things that helped me understand that his view of the world was screwed. He asked me for pictures, but I never sent him any. Then, when he was 24 and got a new job as an engineer, he told me about his plans of coming to visit me. He made the mistake of telling me exactly what he was planning to do. He knew I didn't want kids, so he told me he was going to kidnap me and keep me locked in his hotel room until I got pregnant. I freaked out. By that time he knew where I lived. I told him I was going to tell my parents and the police, so he quickly changed his mind. I blocked him. Later I got to know that he was also grooming a girl that just turned 12 that same year. A month later, he was getting married to one of his coworkers.
he groomed you until you were 17? in most states you can be groomed only until you reach the age of consent in that state. Most states its 16, unless you're in Utah or something. Anyway, good to know you scared him away.
So painful to hear all that one individual had to go through. More power to her for finding herself. She deserves the world and beyond
Horrifying and absolutely revolting. Simply can’t believe she went through this. Strong, strong girl but she didn’t deserve any of this. No one deserves this. Sickening.
I truly hope they get her abuser. I can’t believe how much she went through, it’s completely appalling and horrifying.
THIS IS WHY CHILDREN SHOULD BE PROTECTED FROM THE INTERNET!!!!! please don’t give your kids smart phones 😢
Dumb parents
Dude. The utter heartbreak this gave me. You are so damn strong. I’m interested in hearing your parents reaction when you finally told them all of this.
The amount of men that prey on young girls is truly disturbing to me. I think back of when I was a teen and the amount of times I came in contact with creepy men is unbelievable. Middle school teachers or assistants. High school coaches. Internet weirdos on chats. Good thing my parents talked to me about the dangers. But what if I had parents like hers? So many men out there like vultures just waiting for their opportunity to catch a 13 yr old virgin.
Exactly!
I talked to so many predatory adults online as a child. Thank you for sharing your experience. 🖤
These podcasts are so interesting. The way we end up learning and having to adapt to whatever happened to us is just incredible. Now it's always moving forward :)
Another amazing podcast that shares ppls stories is Broken Home Podcast. Some really intense guests and stories.
Omegle was just shut down-a win for young kids
This ladies story is just so mind blowing. After her abuser stops communication with her, she just continues on the missions. This is so heart breaking.
Thanks so much for opening up and telling your very hurtful story. You can be so proud of yourself for publicly working through your trauma and have others learn from and heal with you. It's amazing that you're able to rewire your brain and reclaim your thoughts
Im really glad that the old men that chatted me up when I was 13 were all overseas and had no way to physically seek contact. This is so so messed up
All these people who keep saying "why didn't she leave" "why not say no" "why keep doing things" clearly don't understand that children, even when they're 18, don't have fully developed brains. That along with the abuse of the groomer would make any person vulnerable and open to making further bad decisions. It's not the victim's fault, it's the 45 year old man's and all the other people who enabled it along the way.
Totally agreed. They also literally prove her exact point at the end that people always ask “why” when they instead need to come from a place of understanding when someone goes through trauma like this
That's why it's called "invisible chains"
watching this video opened my eyes to how lucky i was. i too was groomed on omegle and skype at 13, but i thankfully didn’t let it get to the point of meeting in person, although he did want that. i have other trauma and found other similarities to my story and this one. to the interviewee, thank you for coming on and discussing this. it made me, and i’m sure others, feel less alone.
All of the disgusting men who took advantage of her deserved to be in jail. Yea she got older but obviously still had that mindset of when she was first introduced to all of this, I'm glad she's getting the help she needs. Some men are disgusting & I'm sad none of the ones in her life tried to help her
You stay at the same age as when your trauma happened
You know males never take accountability it’s always women fault
@@nicoleavery7238is this true?
thank you devorah for giving people outlets and allowing them to tell their stories and spread awareness. it's beautiful. i hope this woman heals and stays as strong and inspiring as she is
I was anxious to watch this podcast as I have survived a similar situation with being groomed from 12 to 17. I decided to try my best as I would like to have the comfort of someone sharing their story and knowing I'm not alone. It makes me want to share mine, but sometimes I don't know how to encapsulate what happened. I have never shared the full truth because of how humiliated I felt. I still think back to specific memories and feel the burn in my cheeks for how embarrassed I was to let something like that happen. It's so difficult to go back to those moments and admit them out loud.
I'm so appreciative to hear Erica's story to know I'm not alone. I'm so proud of her for finding her voice.
you didnt “let it happen” to you. dont degrade yourself like that, you’ve already been through enough :/ embarrassment does not exist and shame on those people who did that to you
@leska thank you for the kind words, it means a lot. I agree with you, shame on him for doing such a thing. These days, I mostly feel anger towards him. I'm trying to work on processing this moment of my life, and even after ten years, I can feel the embarrassment that I felt then like it never left. Trauma never leaves the body. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
I no longer feel that way on a normal basis, only when I revisit the trauma. I was a child and I was taken advantage of. I take no blame, I don't mean to discredit myself. I made it through a horrible situation and I love who I am today. I'm proud of myself.
Thank you again for your kindness. 🩷
As someone who is still a minor and who was groomed often. I struggle all the time with guilt. I know how you feel.
I was also groomed. But my parents were emotionally neglectful and abusive so that’s why I seemed approval and “love” from older men on the internet. I hope my daughters never go through this 😢
This story is horrific and it is amazing that this young woman was able to survive this abuse. I hope she is so proud of herself for being able to overcome the abuse she experienced, and for having the courage to share this story! She is going to make an incredible therapist!
This was such a traumatic story. But I feel like a lot of questions were not asked. Like how was her relationship with other girls? How didn’t anyone notice bruises or cuts she had at school or at home? How did therapy go? What kind of people were at the parties? How did her parents react? I have so many questions
Yeah and she had 2 older sisters? But nobody was looking out for her? Nobody noticed her Skyping or knew who she was talking to...so strange to me. Sad that she was so isolated that this was able to happen.
talking for hours and hours per day for years. hmmmm@@adventurestar7777
She saved so many other girls by pretending to be multiple victims 🥲 dude….
I can't imagine how her parents must feel knowing this had been going on for years under their noses
Hopefully like bad parents… like they should
"When youre filling something within yourself youre missing you can't see how bad of a situation u put yourself in" i liked that line
This his heartbreaking. I can't get over the fact that in the midst of this horrible traumatic experience, her teenage self managed to find a way to protect other girls from going through the same. Thanks for sharing your story ❤
This woman is incredible. I have tears in my eyes. She is going to help so many.
What a harrowing history. Keep an eye on your kids’ internet activity 😢
Seriously, amazing job taking the steps to take your life down a different path. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck with this next chapter!