When my mom started crocheting shawls, she gifted me her very first one. In my family's word, its a hideous thing, with gross a color combo. I love it. Years later she gifted me a new on, in purples and greys which I love. Recently she saw that first one in the background of a photo I sent her and she was amazed I still have it. Not just have it, I use it too. She cried because no one else had kept any of theirs. But I literally work from home, making things by hand. I understand the time and care that goes into it. I don't think my mom will be around much longer with her poor health, but those two shawls will be with me forever.
Once at my daughter's house I saw my teenage granddaughter wearing a crocheted black sweater, I commented that it was pretty ( very difficult open stitching.) She replied with a laugh that I had made it for her mom.....thirty years ago! I had completely forgotten! ( but hey, they still liked it!)
My 8 year old loves a bag my great-grandma made for me almost thirty years ago. I like to think that Gram is smiling down on us every time my child is gushing over how much they love that bag.
I’ve noticed my daughter in law doesn’t display anything I make ,even when I visit 😂, she’s a lovely girl but I guess it’s not her thing ,so I give to my daughter and my grand baby overseas , but I’m thinking to start donating blankets to hospice now , so I can love doing them and they benefit someone else btw I’m 60 so it took a few years for me to learn ha ha
My gifts have never been returned or regifted because I make blankets for shelter dogs and cats. They are always thankful and it makes me happy to give them something that is comforting.
I LOVE THIS! I worked in rescue for 3 yrs and I know those babies are so grateful to have what you give!!! Our shelter used to give the blankets to the new parents when the pets got adopted so that the pet could have something of their own with them and I loved it. Both of my cats still have their shelter blankets from when they were adopted and it's been over 10 years for both of them, they still love and adore snuggling on them! I am so grateful for people like you
Thankyou for your lovely, true comment. It made me cry. Human beings are so much less than animals. A cat just wants a cosy place to rest, and couldn't care less about its colour or pattern. They judge us only on our acts of kindness and, sadly, sometimes, cruelty to them. Bless you and enjoy!
Oh I disagree with this I have people who do appreciate what I make. I have gotten to a point that I evaluate who I give things too. I have people in my life who are knit worthy but do not want knitwear & I appreciate that information. I will make for instance a baby blanket for a new baby family but make it in a yarn that is washable ad in aran or Chucky so it is a quick knit. I will let that go out with love & let it go. If someone wants a blanket or a sweater, I will say I can teach you how to do it. Usually our craft is not valued by people who don't craft. I just nice say no & leave it at that.
I have a couple of afghans that were purchased in thrift shops. When I use one of them, I like to say a little prayer for the person who made it. I ask God to send some good blessing or good karma to the maker, be that person alive, reincarnated, or in between. I hope that somehow, they can benefit from their work helping me literally to keep warm in a Michigan winter.
I once made a quilt. Very expensive, the fabric alone was about 350 dollars, then the batting for the king sized quilt was very expensive as was backing, threads, everything. There was a lot of hand appliqué on it , embroidery work. And it took me about six months to make it, and the person I made it for, and they requested it. I gifted it to her for her birthday. The next day I went over there to help her with something else. I went in. And her dogs were laying on it and it was outside on the dirty patio. She had given it to her dogs. Normally I just gift things and am able to let it go. But that quilt had so much of my heart, and I cared so much for the person I gave it to, that I immediately became very upset, told her what I thought and left. The quilt had already been torn by the dogs, mud and some other nasty urine stains. I stood there a few seconds and considered grabbing it, but instead I just left. It just made me feel that this person ( a sibling). Did not hold me as close to their heart as I held them to mine. And I figured out later this was true and it just took this incident to open my eyes. Now I do art quilts, and other fiber arts, and multi media. I no longer gift what I make. But I sell it. Quilts do not sell for enough to make king and queen sized quilts. But beautiful decor and wall hangings are featured in local design and decorating shops. And at a local art institute that features local artists. So that is what happens to my stuff. So it goes to those who appreciate it. But I no longer gift it at all.
It is heartbreaking isnt it. I know how you feel. All those hours of work and the love that goes into the making. It is so insulting. I’ve been given so few things in my life that I treasure them and keep them close. I’m glad you sell your work and that it is going to like minded women. Good for you. ❤ from the U.K.
That is one of the worst stories about a sibling I have ever read, worse by far than . . . Well, I have had things I've made stolen, and that's bad, but, wow! So sorry that you went to all that trouble and she did that to your fine gift. And I'm glad you found a good way to put your art to work. You are inspiring! Thank you, I needed that inspiration.
@jackiehorn3724 that's so sad. My first major crochet pieces were all gifts. It makes me sad to hear others don't get appreciation for the work that goes in to their creations. Iam so sorry!
Unfortunately, there is a mindset that handmade gifts are just a cheap way of giving presents, it completely ignores the high cost of the raw materials and worse still ignores the hours of love and work that go into the making.
After my mom was diagnosed with dementia and had to eventually go into full time care I had to clean out her house. I gave all of my mom’s yarn, knitting needles, and crochet hooks to a sweet friend from church. She surprised me a couple months later with a beautiful knitted throw made with some of my mom’s yarn. ❤ It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received and I treasure it. It is always on display on the back of a chair in my living room.
I suspect some of the stuff in thrift stores were from cleaning out an older person when either they downsize or pass away. I like to think they were loved items and ready for a new home.
That's always my assumption too. I mean, my dad has given me dozens of afghans and I'm about to downsize, kids are all gone, don't need all those beds with afghans on them.... what am I going to do with all of them?
@peglamphier4745 pass them down to the next generation....keep it in the family. Right now I'm keeping a beautifully knitted baby blanket in safe keeping because the great aunt who made it passed during the pandemic and my husband used it as a baby and our kids have used it as babies, so I hope.my eldest daughter appreciates handmade work and passes it down when her turn comes.
Totally. Upon gifting something handmade, I often add, “If you find this doesn’t fit in your world-now or in the future-please do redistribute it elsewhere in the universe!” 🤓
SchalaKid@@SchalaKidLove that. 💖 I personally think it's selfish to get upset that somebody have given away Your gift .. it's a called "gift" for a reason. 👀 I wouldn't want "my items" cluttering up somebody's home .. I would much rather want my "gifts" are distributed however n wherever the person chooses to .. 🤭
A wise woman once told me to only make handmade gifts for people who COULD make it themselves. She said those are the only people who will truly appreciate it. I used to make all the (extended) family Christmas gifts, because I really couldn’t afford anything else. I heard through the grapevine that some family members didn’t like that. The next year, I used up a lot of single skeins making small projects like slippers, hats, headbands, scarves, etc. I made more items than I needed, put them in a big basket, and invited everyone to take one thing. It was such a hit, and people took things I never would have chosen for them. One college age girl took a hat that she wore the rest of the day, and I learned later that she wore it everywhere and loved it. That one hat made all my time knitting worth it! A friend of mine inherited two gorgeous wholecloth quilts, made by her great-grandmother, and in pristine condition. She took them to an appraiser who said they were worth at least $1500 each. She decided to keep one, and gave the other as a wedding gift to her favorite niece. Months after the wedding, she visited the niece and her husband. As she was leaving, she noticed the dog bed in the corner, and there, neatly folded in the dog bed, was her great-grandmother’s $1500 quilt. Some people don’t value handmade.
What a nice idea! I often have the urge to just let people opt in me gifting them objects I’ve already made to take off the pressure. I think you’re right a lot of people don’t appreciate the craft but for the record I wouldn’t necessarily consider it degrading to an object to let a beloved pet use it. Pets are part of the family.
I Loved this! An elderly lady at my church crocheted a baby sack for my baby shower, she didn’t have much money and used scraps of synthetic yarn. It was a mix of several different colors and had a repurposed zipper up the front. She had hands that I am sure were arthritic. I loved this gift and made sure my little baby wore it often to church where she would see it. I recently gave it to him, he is 44. Keep the gift, use it and know that someone made every stitch while thinking of you!!!
@@karendunlap4037 What a lovely show of appreciation! It’s not always easy to receive handmade gifts. You can feel imposed on even. I have thought that hobbyists want to enjoy their hobby and their pleasure in making an afghan, or whatever supersedes their “ thoughtfulness” in presenting you with a gift. To be on the safe side, I graciously accept the handmade gift and never would dream of disposing of it..
My SIL requested that I make her a huge afghan in very specific colors to use as a couch cover. When I gave it to her she said it was exactly what she wanted and put it right on the couch. A couple of months later I was walking up to her front door and had to pass by the garbage bin and there was that very expensive afghan that had taken me a long time to make, sticking out of the garbage bin. I took it out and went up to the house and asked her why it was in the trash. She said it was perfect for what she wanted but she was just tired of it after a couple of months. I don't waste my time or money making things for people like that any more. I really love and appreciate hand crafted works.
even if you don't want to use something right now you can always put it up for later. I know my favorite blanket to sleep with at a certain friends house was this giant crochet blanket. this is just wasteful as hell
I probably would never give her anything else again. I mean, I don't get the tired of it thing, not really, that's what closets are for. But to just toss it out? There's no excuse for that. Donation was a possibility. Too many times, when people aren't the ones putting in the time and money, they don't have any value towards the object. Fast Fashion is actually a good example of this. The clothes coming out of this do take time, the people who make these clothes are often suffering (poor, hungry, bad working conditions, toxic chemicals, labor violations). But people don't see that. They click a button, it costs a few bucks, so who cares when it tears or they don't like it and it goes in the trash? There's not thought to the actual labor and network that went into getting them that cloth.
My granddaughter is 8 and last year they had to prep for the chance of evacuation due to forest fires. Everyone in the family got a fire box to put their most precious things in so that they could grab it if they had to run. Luckily they didn't have to - but when they unpacked later in the year since the threat was gone, they found that her box was stuffed to the gills with everything that I had ever knitted or crocheted for her from the time that she was born. My heart almost burst, those were the most important things to her in the world ❤ (and boy, some of the early ones were hidious!) I will never forget that. Mind you, I'm 59 and have everything that my long passed grandmother ever made for me. There's some ugly 70's stuff, but I treasure them.
The way I see it is once the item has been gifted it’s no longer mine and it’s none of my business what they do with it. However, if I discover that they gave it away or whatever, then they definitely don’t get anything else handmade from me. I prefer to crochet and knit items for myself anyway.
Most people do not understand the time and work that goes into handmade items. Nor the heart and soul that goes with it. They are used to off the rack mass production with no thought at how it is made. So sad.
So true. And also the cost! Crocheted blankets use a lot of yarn and folk don't always appreciate the cost. Luckily my blankets - dating back 50 years (I'm now 60) - are still in use.
@@marymorales2066 and this is why it’s important that you really know the person that you’re gifting. If you’ve never seen them use certain item or consume certain food and their style is not your style, don’t gift such item. My MIL used to gift me wall decorations with inspirational words and I hated those. She’s been to our house countless of times and sees what I’m into and what I’m into. I said thank you but I never displayed those frames. I’m not gonna stare at something I hate in my own home just bc it was gifted. She finally noticed that she hasn’t seen any of the home decorations she has given me and stopped buying them.
Well let me tell a GOOD story to offset some of the horror stories - and we've all been there, myself included. Years ago I crocheted my son a "mile-a-minute" afghan out of a masculine black/gray/off white color scheme. The mile-a-minute pattern isn't anything really special, and the yarn was cheap acrylic, and I never expected him to do much more than drape it on a couch or something. Turns out my son LOVED this thing. Shortly after he got married, his basement flooded and the afghan was down there in his "man cave." His wife told me the first thing he grabbed out of there to save was that ratty afghan! Almost 20 years later he still has it and uses it, I see it every time I visit him - well worn and well loved.
I have a nephew who is quite well known in the entertainment world. Every year fans give him handmade items, often quilts or afghans. He expresses appreciation, knowing that he has no use for these things. So he packages these items up and gives them to a local nursing home. It is his hope that the quilts and afghans are used. One year the home got 35 quilts.
I've been on both sides of this. I know from watching my Mom that sometimes makers make what they want to make, and then gift it to someone. The gift doesn't reflect the recipient's taste, or the recipient at all. It's not truly a gift; the person becomes free off-site storage. They're expected to keep and treasure an item forever, because it took a lot of time to make, despite the fact thay they don't like it, never asked for it, or can't use it at all. If a maker wants to mass make any item for pleasure, maybe sell them, or donate them to a fundraiser, rather than give them to people who may not want them. Especially if rejection is painful. We have no right to obligate someone to keep and use our gifts forever. Yes, it really hurts of the gift was made thoughtfully, and we guessed wrong about how they would feel about it. But we have no right to saddle others with forever items.
Your mom sounds like my mom. My mom is a borderline hoarder and she stashes stuff at my place that she thinks I should like (I usually don’t). I just don’t have the time to go through it because I have small kids. It’s infuriating.
This is so true. I am one of those people who re-gifts, gives to charity gifts that I don’t like, or fits my surroundings…but I also don’t expect others to keep my gifts that they don’t like. I don’t want them to be stuck with objects they don’t want and useless to them
Yes! Thank you for saying this! I finally managed to get out of the gift-giving at Christmas and birthdays when I almost always received gifts that I didn't want. I had to keep them for a few years before I could get rid of them. I especially endorse your point about the giver making a project according to their own tastes and interests and then randomly giving it to someone. It's not thoughtful. Sell it or donate it to a school fair.
oh that's a good take. if u gift something to someone and that person doesn't like it, it doesn't matter if u made it with so much effort, but it means you didn't consider THEIR taste or know them enough to know what they want. this does not only apply to handmade items but with anything. did u give them a gift bcs YOU like it, or did u genuinely think abt what THEY would like? i've been on both sides as well
Agreed. It’s like buying your friend tickets to a football game even though your friend has said multiple times that they don’t like football, or even sports in general.
Honestly, no one appreciates a homemade gift more than pets. When I adopted my cat she came with a homemade blanket just for her. I found a home for another cat that had been abandoned and so she would feel like she had something of hers, I made her a crocheted blanket. Pets will always appreciate what is given to them no matter what.
@@FeralFelineFriend I was thinking the same. I had a dog who would take care of his blankets. Only accidentally it would get broken because it catches on his teeth. But most of the blankets stayed nice. And he liked it that way. He would hide everything under his blanket
Absolutely agree. I crochet blankets, and send them to friends whom I have connected with on Instagram, for their beautiful, mainly rescued) pets. They seem to love snuggling under their blankies. I'm a beginner to crochet, and I'd love to try and expand my knowledge.
Seriously. I was given a handmade blanket from a family member. I really enjoyed it and would often keep it on the sofa. My cat claimed it and loved it, and she snuggled that thing even while cancer took her away. We still have the blanket, but I don't know what to do with it because it makes me sad, so it is on a cat bed for the other cats. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate the blanket. In fact, the opposite. I am very, very glad my cat had that blanket to enjoy.
I knit a lavender scarf for my Mom for Christmas. It took about 2 months, and it was elaborately cabled. The scarf was also the first thing I knitted for her. She praised the craftsmanship, declared it pretty, yaya. A few hours later, she approached me with a box, folded the scarf carefully, stated she would keep it safely STORED away. Uh, what? This was perfect scarf weather. I made this gift to be worn and enjoyed, not archived in a personal accessory museum. My heart sank. Yes, I'm glad that she appreciated the gift, but I was disappointed to see she didn't like it. Now I make sweaters for my brother. He wears them to rags, and I couldn't be happier.
My friend has a relative who does the same thing, the relative will *never* wear something handmade, prefering to store it away. So one holiday, my friend gifted her handmade earrings, and when asked if she made them, she said no. Recipient put them on and happily enjoyed them, then a few hours later asked, "you did make these, didn't you?" She confirmed she did but the recipient kept wearing them.
@@kathryngoff7089 hi my mum was a bit like that she didn't like wearing things because they might get wrecked. So kept them folded away But she came from a time where that's what you did with treasured items. Didn't mean that she didn't love them. My Sil gave out pottery that she made. She loves that I have them in use & says I'm the only one who does. Lol doesn't mean I love them just that I appreciate them.
I used to make gifts for friends and family, spending a considerable amount of time thinking about and creating something special for each person, but realised when I was told "what a lovely item that I never knew I needed" and was called cheap for not splashing the cash and instead making an "inexpensive" gift, that it wasn't appreciated or enjoyed and so I stopped. I just make stuff for me now. I had thought about selling some of my creations to get a few pennies in my savings pot, but those comments really knocked me back.
I am 74 years old and have been crocheting since I was a child. I also have been gifted dozens of afghans, sweaters, quilts etc. I have always loved these gifts and use them usually for a couple of years. But if I keep everything that has been gifted to me I would need a warehouse to store it all in. So yes, I donate to thrift shops knowing someone will be able to enjoy it for a slim price. I do have some things that I will not part with ever like a quilt made by my grandmother. Also when you see those beautiful shawls etc in a thrift shop, know that they were probably loved dearly by someone and maybe that someone has passed and these things were left behind and donated. Not all things you see in the thrift shops were rejected. When I give a gift it is no longer mine, It is for someone to use or re-gift or whatever. If they re-gift it, that means they wanted to give someone something special that maybe they could not make themselves or couldn't afford to buy. I do re-gift things and love handing things over to be loved even more by someone else. Just my old lady thoughts,
I'd much rather something I made be regifted and used by someone who's going to love it; then sit unused because the person I initially gave it to doesn't have a use for it.
I mostly stopped making things for people after someone laughed at a special birthday gift I had crocheted for them using an intricate pattern and a much smaller yarn and hook than I am used to using. I was so proud and excited to give the gift. To say I was crushed when they laughed and said it was a joke gift would definitely be an understatement. I'd rather get a polite thank you and never see the gift than experience that again! Now I mostly make wonderful things for myself in colors I love with the rare gift thrown in.
Obviously that person had no taste and certainly no concept of the work involved in the making of a gift. They would be the recipient of a gift card to a fast food high calorie place. And not enough in value to pay for the full meal. I would rather that then spend any thought or care in another gift for them.
A friend re-gifted a jumper that she was given to her daughter. It caused a bit of drama at church as the giver was upset. The daughter loved the jumper … wore it every week. While the giver was startled she thought it was okay after thinking about it.
I’ve gotten to the point where I ASK before making anything to give someone and I always say “if you aren’t going to use it then just say no to me making it for you. It won’t hurt my feelings”. Thank you for this video.
@@GreatGreebo great idea! Lately I’ve been making the Butterfly shawl. It’s not a beginner pattern and it’s very time consuming. I wanted to make one for my best friend. She loves butterflies. Something told me to ask her first and she very gently told me that she wouldn’t wear it. I’m so glad I mentioned it first! Now I’m enjoying it and I treasure it.
I have a friend who wants you to keep EVERYTHING she gives you. And, wants them on display. And, wants you to tell everyone that she gave it to you. Remember it’s the thought that counts when you give. Some people are keepers. Some are purgers. Once given, LET IT GO. If it’s that valuable to you, keep it.
@@PurpelDewdrop 💯 agreed. Once given away they can do what they want with it . That’s why it’s a gift it’s yours . If the person giving it doesn’t want it given away or what have you than keep your crochet items
That’s why I don’t make anything super special or intricate for people. If they don’t want it and get rid of it I won’t be hurt. I don’t want a gift to be a burden
When I first go to a thrift store, the first thing I look for is hand made items. I rarely find anything but have got a blanket for my guest room and a baby blanket for my soon to be born granddaughter. If I could find an unloved blanket big enough for my queen size bed I would feel like I’m wrapped in a strangers love every night. I used to knit and crochet extensively. I have RA and can’t do it anymore and it is the worst part of this disease. I guess what I’m trying to say is, for every unloved gift that ends up in a thrift store, there is someone like me who will find it, appreciate it and give it the love it’s always deserved.
I crocheted my daughter's wedding dress. I took every measurement you could possibly take and made the pattern myself. She wanted a medieval inspired design. It took 17 balls of Southmaid size 10 crochet cotton in burgundy. It had an almost circle skirt which i gradually made longer in the back to form a small train. It was a berry and leaf pattern I had gotten from a doily book. The skirt was so heavy I made it separate from the top in an empire waist with sleeves that fit tight to the elbows then belled out. That was worn over a full length black sheath dress. I crocheted a cap, swagging a burgandy gem pendant on her forehead with the chain going back. The veil was three layers, chapel length black tulle, mid length burgandy lace for the second, and a long train of black tulle last. She was so beautiful! The dress fit her perfectly, everybody loved it! She gave me their apartment key so I could feed their cats while they were gone on their honeymoon. I went the next day with my son to feed them and the dress and headpiece was just laying on the living room floor. My son said I should take it if that's all she cared about it. But I picked it up, put it up on a shelf in their closet where the cats couldn't go and said no, I made it for her, it's hers to do as she wants. But when I see pictures of the wedding I could just cry.
If you are having a medical issue and loose your hair (from chemo) those hats might get to hold those memories as well. Don't take it personally, as a survivor, I couldn't even keep some of my clothes because they reminded me of the chemo.
What a gracious reflection. I went bald during chemo and it felt like my nerve endings were on fire. I bought an expensive wig and could not stand to wear it because the net inside felt electrified. And not a hat that I knitted myself. All I could wear on my scalp were turbans made of soft jersey fabric. Neuropathy on my hands limited what I could do with them, as well.
I generally make things for people who will actually appreciate a handmade item. Once I made a hat for one sister ( she knits). when she gave it to our other sister she told her not to tell me about it. We are all in our 60’s. It’s time to get rid of stuff so 20 plus years from now our kids won’t have to. I tell my sister all the time, “in your decluttering, don’t ever hesitate to pass along something I made to someone else”. Give it to someone who will use it. With any gift, I don’t believe the giver wants you to hold onto something you don’t like. Or something that is cluttering your house. I spend hours making hats for the homeless every year. I don’t know whether they appreciate them. But I’m happy that that I’ve tried to make a difference.
I still have a sweater my mother knitted for my son over 40 years ago. I’m pretty sure she used Red Heart super saver. It’s not soft, it’s made with red, white and blue yarn. Pretty sure it was all she had and I love it so much. I had six children and that sweater was passed down to all my children. Still looks like new. Of course, that’s the nature of super saver yarn, isn’t it. You just can’t wear it out. The sweater was also worn by grandchildren. That sweater is priceless.
@@ShannonTalksYarn hope you don’t mind if I share a little story with you. Many years ago, I crocheted a granny stitch triangle shawl for myself. My daughter’s littlest girl grew up seeing me wear that shawl every day. I used to wrap the two of us up in it when she sat in my lap. Well, it’s been many years and I was just about to toss it as it has served me well, but is obviously very worn. When my granddaughter heard I was going to throw it away, she begged me not to. She said, “ Grandma, that shawl is you! You can’t ever throw it and !”. That comment filled my heart and I told her I would keep it. So, worn or not, I still wear it almost every day. When I’m gone, I’m pretty sure I know who is gong to claim that shawl.
You are so nice-I would have immediately said “I already made that for you 2 years ago. So no, I can’t do another. Maybe look for the one you already have?” And walked away. I have had so many bad experiences with making things for others I just won’t do it anymore.
When I see a hand made item in a thrift store or yard sale I can’t help but buy it and take it home. The maker may never know but it will be loved and cared for in my home.
My aunt made my sister the most beautiful quilt. She made my mom a beautiful quilt also and my mom didn't like it ("not her style") and put it in the closet. An heirloom quilt was also given to my sister. For some reason, no one thinks I want or value a quilt and here I am ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over the gifts, yet I get nothing and I would actually appreciate and cherish these things. A different aunt had a contest for the family and the winner would get an afghan she made. I won the contest and was so excited about the afghan but then she never actually gave it to me. I don't understand. 😢 I ended up buying an afghan from a thrift store on ebay. It wasn't expensive, but was so pretty. When it arrived, I discovered it was made with amazing wool yarn. It was probably from someone's estate. Maybe there was no one to pass it on to. I'm glad to have it.
@KMx108 if she tell her aunt the truth, that she loves it, but you loved it so much, and had wanted it for so long. So she decided to give it to you because it would keep it in the family. 😊
@@KMx108 I'd have asked your mum if you could have hers and if your aunt asks why you have it - just explain that it's to replace the one you won because you loved them so much! Either you get the one you won and we're promised or you get to keep and show appreciation yo the other one you love. Alternatively you could strike up a conversation with your aunt about how beautiful they are and if you could buy one from her or learn how to make your own? Might at least give your family the hint via the grapevine. Also if subterfuge is less desirable then why not straight up ask the contest host where the prize is since you've waited so long? You're entitled to the prize you earned, and if someone tells you you're being 'disrespectful' by asking that's bs and you tell them right back its more disrespectful to lie about giving someone something you worked for. 😑 I hope you have a better time with your family in future they all sound a bit self serving and two faced if I'm being honest.
I made a blanket for my nephew and his wife for a wedding gift. Saw facebook pictures of it in the dog's bed. Ouch. I've also seen my makes at garage sales, I buy them back. Seriously, the looks on their faces are worth every penny, lol.
The exact same thing happened to me. Spent about 2 months making a massive blanket for a housewarming present for a friend in colours I know matched their decor. They showed me some photos of their new house a few weeks later with the blanket in the dog bed. They must have saw my face because they said that the dog loved it so much they couldn't get him off it. Lesson learned.
My grandma made me a hand stitched quilt and it got lost in a move somewhere, being in the USAF. She gave it to me as a teen, and many of the squares were made from rather scratchy double knit material from the 70s. Now she's gone, and oh how I wish I had her quilt! She had cataracts when she made it, and now I see and appreciate just what she put into it, being a crocheter.
I have someone who I spent hours working on a gift for, and I later found it on the ground in their home, broken. I just note that they will never get something from me again, and move on. Because I also have someone who still has and uses the very first horrible scarf I ever crocheted as a child, even though I've made them better ones since. I figure out who deserves my time and love because they'll appreciate it, and those are the people I gift to.
Charity crafting is my main focus. My family members get a sweater, hat/scarf/mits or something else really nice every year for the holidays but I no longer crochet for anyone specific. I live in a less-than-affluent area. Not every child has what they need. The local schools have a "lost and found" box in each building where a child can "borrow" something to keep warm. It's amazing how many beanies, leg warmers, sweaters, mittens, ponchos, etc get "lost" and end up with new owners LOL! The local hospice company accepts donations of wraps and shawls and totes. My grade school grandkids give out bookmarks or worry-worms for Valentines Day. And a nearby hospital welcomes caps and receiving blankets to swaddle babies that don't get to go home with their family. Over the years I have had the fun of making items with no pressure to please and can release them to the Universe to end up where they are needed. I apologize for the long post.
I would love to donate to hospitals, but I have a cat and I was once told they won't take anything from a house with a smoker or pets. (I donated instead to my local retirement home).
We are a disposable society. While also being sold the idea of "heirloom" projects. So what to do right? Some folks arent sentimental at all. Some keep everything and verge on hoarding. Its a fine line. I once sold products from a craftbased company in the 80s. It was homesales, but I'd occasionally go door to door with it. I met the most delightful "older" lady ( probably my age now) whose passion was creating houses for a "Christmas village". It was enormous. Taking up half her livingroom! Fastforward to several years later. Driving through my now former neighborhood, i see people taking plywood, and multiple trash bags to the curb. There was a "sold" sign on the home. I came to the conclusion the lady had passed on or gone to a nursing home. I was just crushed. This sweet lady's passion moved to the trash! Speaking with a fellow crafter i was quite melodramatic carrying on about what had been the point? All her work for what? At this point i was still believing the "heirloom" passing down through the ages advertisement hook. My friend listened to me and said "It gave her joy while she was here" So i try to have my joy of creation, my joy of sharing, and let it go. If the goodwill or dog gets it, thats out of my control. This said, i have cut back on gifting, and often just create to create.
I always remember that just because I like the look of crochet it doesn't mean everyone else does. That was a lesson learned the hard way. I never crochet (or knit) items for others unless they ask, and then I might still say no. LOL
A few years ago I crocheted a lovely blanket for my daughter. On the trip to visit after I had given it, I found it in the dog's bed, partly chewed and snagged. I was pretty hurt. She said "oh, but he loved it, so we let him have it". Needless to say, I have not given one since. The time and effort you put into something is worth checking out knit and crochet worthy people, whether family or not.
@@janetpingrey7155 I had the same thing happen to me. I crocheted a beautiful chunky fisherman knit sweater look afghan. I gifted it to my niece and when I visited her, Charlie, her German shepherd was loving sleeping on it. I laughed and said well, I love dogs so what the heck. Over a hundred dollars in yarn and the dog loved it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Several years ago I learned the term ""knit-worthy". I have learned to say "no", and I knit for myself, dogs in my life (sweaters, toys, blankets), children in my life (toys), and for charity events (where someone is purchasing the item at a charity event). It really feels good to knit for those who want and enjoy the items. And dogs and kids top the list! Thank you for addressing this topic!
I crocheted a beautiful throw for my former mother in law. The colors were perfect for her bedroom decor. When she opened it at Christmas she immediately threw it in a corner and said to her dog “oh look Prissy, you have a new blanket “ in which the dog instantly started scratching into it. I wasn’t hurt as much as I was angry. I never got her another gift after that. My husband would get her a gift card.
I actually knew better, she had always been a person that wanted expensive store bought things. If she had bought it herself for a lot of money ..she would have loved it. Handmade items to her were tacky. I was angry more at myself. Live and learn.
I was so lucky to have a fellow crafter as a MIL. She was always supportive of my endeavors and was an appreciative recipient. ♥️ We just cleaned out my late Dad’s storage and out came a lap afghan. Everyone looked at me, knowing I crochet. “Not me, but my MIL so mine now”, and grabbed it 😊)
I told my friend over and over again that I don’t like plushies, still they have made and given me three plushies 😭 I appreciate the work and effort and thought SO much, but i DESPERATELY wish they’d just listen to me and not made them at all!!!!
Boy did this resonate with me! I made a crochet blanket for my son's girlfriend. I had casually asked her which flowers she really liked and she said hydrangeas. I searched different colors of those flowers, bought some beautiful yarn and made her a very nice crocheted blanket. She lived with us for a while and I noticed that I NEVER saw the blanket out on the bed, or being used. About a year later when my son and I moved (and they had since broken up) my son was emptying out his closet and there was the blanket in the bottom of his hamper. That hurt me so much. So yes, I only make things for people I KNOW love and appreciate handmade items. I primarily make things for myself and honestly if anyone ever says, "I LOVE that blanket", or anything I've made such as hat, gloves, etc. ... it's theirs. I will just give it to them because I know they truly like it. I have also done some knit/crochet rescues at the thrift stores. If no one else appreciated the effort whoever made those things put forth, I do! I completely agree with all you said!!
I'm not sure what you expected. Crochets and knits are sometimes just not someone's style. I crochet, but I also do digital art. I would NEVER put HOURS of work into an art piece to gift to a friend of my child's and expect them to hang it on their wall. See how weird that sounds? Why is crochet different? Even if I printed my art piece onto a blanket for her, which is something she could actually "use". What if it's not her style? Like... what are you expecting?
I knit and crochet and appreciate anything hand made. A lady at our knitting group passed away. I hardly knew her, but I kept her latest piece of knitting still on her pins, just several rows of very tight knitting, but it was hers and a memory for me. For twenty years this has been on display in my craft room. I often wonder where the many things I’ve made will eventually finish up.
@@beckybonanno9433 Yep...if they constantly refer to quilts as blankets, they are not worthy of receiving one. I spotted one of my gifted quilts, a lonestar, in a dog bed. A dirty farm dog's bed. I wished I had kept it for myself.
Hearing that a recipient must be quilt-worthy, I'm even more touched that a friend of mine has given me 3 quilts and has made me 3 project bags with 2 more under construction. I do hand needlework so I appreciate handmade works of love. The biggest gift I've given her was a cross-stitched piece that looks like a miniature quilt. It took me 6 solid months of stitching and won Best in Show at my county fair.
I am one of those not quilt worthy people. I just don’t think they’re as warm and soft as my other blankets. I love the way they look but I don’t like to use them.
I feel like you never truly understand how much work someone puts into something handmade until you start handmaking things yourself. My aunt has always been a quilter and she has made all of us quilts. I never got rid of any of the quilted things she made me, but I will admit the patterns were never to my taste so actual quilts I never really used. The bags she made us, even though I didn't like the patterns, I would use whenever I traveled because they could fit a lot in them like laptops and anything i wanted to have immediately with me and not in a suitcase. Once I started crocheting and beadweaving, I realized just how many hours go into these projects. Because of that, I do think it's important that you don't really offer these items as surprises unless it's something small (ill crochet simple things as ornaments) or you know the person will 100% like it or have the capacity to appreciate it (such as a fellow crafter). It's really smart to check with people first about what kinds of fabrics, colors, or patterns they like and get those inspo pics or it might end up being a waste of time. It's too bad that even though you communicated with people, they still couldnt appreciate your hard work. Honestly, I think most people don't until they try a handcraft themselves.
I learned my lesson giving gifts, but the most recent was a tipping point. My neighbor, also a crocheter, makes afghans. I crochet anything that sparks my interest. I made her a very expensive cardigan. She gifted it to a friend of hers (taking credit for my work). I was very sour about it, but me being sour won't change the outcome. Like many of the other comments I only crochet for my human/ fury children and myself now. To all the crafters, I appreciate the beauty of your work. Whether it's your first or thousandth piece be proud of it. ❤
Got one for you: I made a beautiful toddler sweater for my great niece. It was wool, not superwash, first mistake. I knew what would eventually happen….hot water, shrink, accidentally washed incorrectly. That was inexperience on my part! However, the sweater was gorgeous, much appreciated, worn A LOT and passed down to baby sister. Well, the extended family were all together one Christmas and the kids got the flu. Things got messy and the sweater was accidentally put in the washer and dryer. My sister called me at 6:30 in the morning, from her voice, I thought somebody died. Geez. She told me what happened. I laughed and said, “ I was a rookie, I should have used superwash or acrylic.” She asked if I’d make another one. I said “ No, it was too much work, but I’d make something else.” I told her have the girls put it on a baby doll! Don’t fret. Those little girls have each gotten a sweater a year and made them big girl blankets to replace their baby blankets that they used. Cute. “Crochet and Knitworthy”
I’ve been reading so many comments on this video and I’m just blown away by the pure psychotic nature of some people. The stories of handmade gifts getting rejected in social settings, and being ripped up and peed on by dogs, people laughing when opening a handmade gift and embarrassing the maker of the gift, OMG it makes my blood boil and my heart hurt. I try to see the positive side in most situations but wow people are horrible. I’m glad I’ve never gone through something like these stories (and hopefully never will) because if someone openly rejected my handmade gift, especially in front of other people, I would be enraged and probably do something I’d regret…
@@roxycocksey why? If you gift something, it's entirely out of your control what happens with it. The fact that so many people here are hurt by their "gift" not being "loved" is absolutely baffling to me. Most crafters are blind to how their item actually looks/feels/goes with other's decor and forcing how it should be used is very controlling. *Just* because it was handmade doesn't mean it's a fit for the recipient (yes, throwing in the trash is wasteful, but again you can't control others).
@roxycocksey ok, here's a story: I made my 5 y/o niece a tiny tailored coat. I used Amish houndstooth homespun, welt pockets, fur cuffs, and collar. It was styled like a 1960s Jackie Kennedy coat. Her parents spent Christmas in Paris. As they strolled the boulevard, French women would stop them because of the coat. She got a lot of attention and would open the coat to show off the red lining. I wish I'd made a pillbox hat!
@@Mdeaccosta omg that’s sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing that story with me. How precious! She will remember you and that you made her that coat for her entire life and how special it made her feel.
I know the feeling. My son’s grandmother told me she really love white gold. I specifically picked her out a pair of pave 14k white gold hoops. I’ll be dog gone, I tell you… about 6 or 7 years later, she gave them back to me one Christmas. My heart sank. They were still in the box and everything. But I accepted them, because I felt the following holiday, she would have given them to someone else. I bought them from the heart, for her, so I preferred just keeping them. I never reminded her that I bought them for her years ago.
I once made little crochet toys for a friend's birthday based on a show we both loved growing up. They were simple, but cute. At her party, she pulled them out of the bag and laughed, saying "What am I supposed to do with these?" I didn't really know how to respond to that so laughed it off, but it clearly showed she didn't value my attempt at a personalized gift. It stung. The weird thing is she's also a crafty crocheter. 😕
@gigic.7809 don't make it about jealousy. Likely the OP's memory of this show left an imprint on them. It's likely a fond memory for them. The friend may not have viewed that same memory in the same way. They could of been more empathetic to OP definitely.
I understand very well what you say. I decided to stop giving handmade items because it happened that a hand made knit dress, 50hours work, was destroyed in the washing machine. Now when someone wants something i Say, i can teach you how to knit. And of course the person says no, i dont have time.
Wow, all the sad stories about handmade gifts not being appreciated in this video and the comments are so relatable. It brings me back 30 years ago to when I was working really hard to build up stock of my art work, so I could do art shows or craft fairs and maybe make some money with my talent. My mother-in-law told me, if I wanted to get rid of it all, I should just have a garage sale! Some people have a talent for only crushing other peoples joy and dreams.
Just came across this today. I've been crocheting for so many years and have given my stuff away to people. I have not experienced getting something rejected but I know when someone I gave it to didn't even try using what I gave. Especially this Infinity scarf I gave to a coworker. At one point, I thought I will crochet Christmas gifts to coworkers, well I changed my mind. I'm gifting my stuff to me instead. And to my bestest best friend and her family who I know appreciates every single thing that I'm able to do and give them.
I guess I once faced a situation even worse than rejections. A few years ago when I was first into knitting, I made a raspberry stitch scarf (which actually gained good comments from most my friends and relatives). Then I gave it to my mom as a gift. She acknowledged it as well-made but stated that she didn’t like the pattern. As a result, my mom unraveled the scarf in front of me and started to knit the pattern that she liked.
I have been through the wringer with all of the scenarios, more than once. I cried more than once over this. I once made a hand embroidered wedding pillow, my hands bled over making that gorgeous pillow… it was thrown in the basement, there was a flood, and then it went in the trash. And on, and on… I don’t make anyone anything anymore, unless they ask, and I don’t always say yes. I make things For Me now, I create, and keep.
My housemate once crocheted a small octopus keychain, it was not anatomically correct, there were a lot of big holes where some of the stuffing was coming out of and it wasn't perfect but I LOVE it!!!! They made it for me and I immediately put it on my keys and I always make sure it doesn't fall off or anything happens to it
This is the reaction all crafters hope for. I gifted my partner an amigurumi, (this first I've ever attempted) and he was overjoyed that I had worked hard to create and conceal the project from him prior to gifting. He runs tabletop call of cthulu so a baby 'thulu was perfect. But I knew ahead of time that he adores silly little plush guys who have personality. People who pack bond with all creatures and plush they encounter are "crochet worthy"
I've had a family member point out some yarn in my stash and say they would love a tank top made in that yarn. So for their birthday, I gifted them a tank top made with that yarn (I had them try it on without full finishing in case I needed to make any adjustments) and they full on rejected it by saying they didn't like the sparklyness of the yarn. They touched this yarn and the stellina was very visible. I will never make them something again. I was so taken aback that I told them I had a friend who loves the color and style but I ended up frogging it. To add some more salt to the wound, I was at a social event with them and some friends a few weeks later and they complained that they didn't get anything for their birthday. Sigh. I'm just more careful with what I make and who I gift it to. Everything I make is no longer a surprise and the recipients are part of the planning, as much as they wish.
Did you specifically point out that it was the same exact yarn that they had requested? It seems like a deeper conversation could have gotten to the bottom of it.
@@esjaybee5555 Yes, I did, and he repeated that it looked different when knitged up. He's now aware I frogged the project. I decided it wasn't worth a deeper convo and I still agree with that. He's been showing up for me in other ways and I just won't gift him handmade garments.
Thanks for your response. Well now it definitely sounds like you did all you could. I understand now. I just notice in my family situations escalate or turn into unspoken resentments because a lot of my family doesn’t know how to properly communicate and I hate to see that. Again, nice to hear that things worked out. 🙂
I had a sister-in-law request that I make a bag for her similar to but smaller than the one I had made. She even offered to pay for it and asked me several times to make her one. I sent her a text requesting the colors she would like and to discuss what style of handles she would like. She immediately responded "never mind". I felt rejected even before I put all the time in to making the bag! So when I came across this video, I had to watch it! Thanks for sharing your feelings. It helps to know that I am not the only one that takes our craft and gifting personally. I guess I should be glad she rejected it before I put all that time and effort in only to find it someday in thrift shop! lol
Maybe you took too long to make it for her. As she saw it. The 'never mind' response makes me think that. I wouldn't sweat it. Again, at least you didn't go thru with it. It was a blessing in disguise I'm quite sure.
I’ve learned over the years that there will never be as much appreciation for handmade things when the recipient has never made something themselves. That’s not to say they are unaware, but to have true appreciation over the hours spent finding or making a pattern, yarn shopping, then the hours making it, ripping it out for the inevitable error, weaving in ends, washing and blocking, it’s always going to be an under-appreciated art to those that haven’t experienced it, and can certainly make it that much more hurtful. It’s a hard (yet important) lesson to learn that making and giving is your choice and your control; how they respond, is their choice and their control and it speaks nothing of you or your hard work.
This is one of those lessons we all have to learn if we make things. I was similar when I first started - I made lots of things because I wanted to learn new skills and so I had a surplus of stuff I had made and I used to kind of give them away to random-ish people sometimes. Sometimes they were touched and it was well received, but sometimes it was treated just like a cheap storebought item. I made a lot of stuffed animals early on, so it's hard to compete with a Chinese factory and people don't value the time and effort it takes to actually make one. The worst was one I didn't really even want to do. I had made this incredibly complicated knitted zombie doll for my brother for his birthday (which he loved - he was always one of my favorite people to make things for because he was so appreciative), and my ex-husband had a co-worker with a "sick kid" who loved zombies so he convinced me I should make one for her. She was about 11 or 12 years old and had a chronic illness of some kind, so I gave in an said I would make it. At the time, I was not a fast knitter, and the first zombie had taken a solid month of all my spare time, so this was no quick make. It was epic and awesome - I even made it a rat companion. My then husband took it to work with him and I never even heard if the kid liked it. Later on, my ex mentioned that the kid ripped it and they got rid of it, which just burned me so bad. All that time and effort for a kid I never even met just to be tossed like some random cheap toy. I honestly have just blocked it from my mind because it makes me mad to think about even now, lol. So I just embrace that no one will appreciate things I make like I do. I have a few people who are "worthy" of my makes, but most people I know do not get handmade gifts even if they want them. I knitted at a teacher meeting last school year once and one of the other teachers leaned in to my kids' teachers and said, "Oh, I know what you guys will be getting for Christmas this year," and I couldn't tell if they were saying that like it was a good or a bad thing. I did not knit anything for my kids' teachers. The reality is there are many people I'd love to be able to make things for, but I have limited time and lots of things I actually want to make and enjoy myself. We need to just be ok with whatever others may think of us and be happy with our own hobby. lol Anyway - end rant.
I made crochet hat and scarf set for the entire staff at my granddaughter’s school one Christmas, everyone appreciated it except one female , she informed me she does not like handmade stuff and immediately gave it back . I appreciated her giving it back being I put my heart,soul and money into it . Even though I love her dearly and we’re still friends till this day , I never gave her anything else handmade or store brought, I just say Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas. My own daughter told me she doesn’t like crochet items years ago , now she’s sending me all these images of items to make . I said to her “ I thought you didn’t like crochet items “ she said “ now they are trendy “ . She ordered a Hello Kitty crochet Bikini set and when it arrived it would fit a one month old infant I could not stop laughing , she asked me can I recreate it, I said No!
I can see how frustrating that was!!!! Why is it always the things we don't really want to do, that bite us so hard?!?! I'm with you Meg, there are lots of people I'd love to make things for.....but it's not going to happen!
Yes, this has happened to me a couple of times. I've gotten to the point that I've cut back on giving to people that I know I usually give to charity or keep the item myself.
Because I am me, if the cousin had asked me to make something I had already made, I would have told the cousin "Oh, I made you that exact blanket last year" Then I would have watched the face as I swirled my drink with a huge smile on my face.
Right?! That story threw me for such a loop! How are you gonna request something you already got, and clearly didn't care for?? If you want it so much, what the heck did you do with the first one?! Very bizarre.
No one appreciates something that was free. If you charge $300 for it and sell it to a stranger they’ll think they have something. Your work is beautiful.
Some people reject because they don’t appreciate hand made crafts and what goes into the making, which is sad. My work was rejected before it was even made. My daughter when pregnant told me not to knit any of that handmade stuff so instead I made any clothes and quilts for others. She was really put out when she saw the things I had made. If I know something will be appreciated, I will give to anyone. I make lots of charity stuff for people who have nothing and this is so rewarding.
I hope your daughter was put out. She was extremely rude to have out-right rejected your items in advance, and my reply to her being put out would be - well you did say you didn't want any of that handmade stuff.
I’m not a fiber artist. I’m an illustrator, painter, graphic designer- and I have some advice that someone once gave me that I value greatly and it has really helped me deal with family and friends (and “friends of friends of friends”) who ask me to do a (free) project for them. I let them describe their ideas, then I say “that sounds fabulous! Can you tell me what your budget would be for this project?” Boy does that cut down on the freebies (that aren’t super appreciated by the way, because they didn’t cost them anything)
I actually don’t mind when people re-gifts or donate something I gifted them. I just think that if someone else loves it then is serving its purpose. There’s this older lady in my church that always comes with this beautiful crochet shawl, and every time I see it I always think it’s so pretty! And then one day I complimented her and asked her if she made it, and she said that it was thrifted! That years and years ago she saw it at a thrift store and snatched it, and now she wears it to church all the time! And she is the sweetest lady. I’m sure the person that crocheted it would of been so happy to see their creation being loved and treasured! But I understand it can be disheartening to see a handmade gift being thrown away or not appreciated.
I crochet, knit and make blankets for charity. I have never had anything rejected. They act like I'm giving them a million dollars. It makes me want to do it more.
@cyndeefoley7045 I don't make anything for family mainly bc they're clueless about what goes into it. I make prayer shawls now & only give to select people. I gave my last shawl to a lady who had a stroke & is fighting her way back just the other day. She hugged me & started crying..she told me she wished someone would make her one & I said, I know, the shawl told me. I'm going to give my nephew's family one more try & make them the Alaska hats for Christmas. We'll see how it goes.
That’s a great way to do it. I used to make baby blankets for charity and it was such a joyful process. Making things for friends and family is tough because mine are more affluent so see it as something they could just buy.
I actually have a very touching rejection story. When my sons were in middle school, I crocheted them, and my husband each a scarf/hat set in their favorite colors. My oldest son got his stolen in high school, and after a couple of years, I made him adult sized scarf and hat. My husband has worn his scarf and hat so much that it's starting to wear out, so I'm going to have to make him another set soon. I have offered, several times, to make a more grown-up scarf and hat for my youngest son, who is now an adult, but he has consistently rejected my offer. He explains each time that the set I made him still fits, and he likes what I originally made him, he doesn't need another set. It's true, he still wears them to this day. He did ask me to make him a set of fingerless gloves for work, which I did. He did buy the yarn used, but I didn't charge him for my time... I was happy to do it for him.
I'm sorry to hear that your oldest son's set was stolen, but at the same time, I'm hoping that was someone who really needed it, and could definitely appreciate it.
I was so crushed when I knit both my aunt and my father socks only to find out later my dad‘s never left his car and when it was my birthday, my aunt made some weird comment about how I never got her anything for hers.. I don’t know if she forgot or just didn’t count the socks that I spent so many hours working on….so frustrating
I made a very close family member a top for a cruise for this summer. The cruise has come and gone…still has not worn the top…not even on the cruise!!! I was hurt!!! Will I make them anything else…NO!!! You live and hopefully you learn!!!
I’ve also been hurt by a gift i gave someone that completely went unacknowledged and I’ve been guilty of making gifts for coworkers who may or may not appreciate them. You gave really great advice on how to shift my focus back to the things that will be pleasing to me. Thank you
I love your method because honestly, I find the same thing, nobody appreciates what I give them. I'm just going to make stuff I like from now on. I'm on a dishcloth binge right now and frankly I'm ok with it!
My old neighbor, a very nice lady who actually taught me to crochet, gifted me a crocheted hat. It is so fluffy, that it is more funny, than pretty, but I love it so much. Once she saw me wearing it outside and told me, that she had made her grandkids the hat too for Christmas. Apparently they laughed at it and never wore it and you could see, that she was sad about it. That made me so sad too…since then I make sure to wear it every time, when I am around my old neighborhood (I have a few winter hats). Even though you actually don’t like a present…I think it is the least to appreciate the thought and - in case it is handcrafted - the work they put in!
I once recoeved a small painting with the works “ ånd you dont like it, i want it back”. I think that was cool. I liked it and it still hangs on my wall
Excellent topic, Shannon! I know what it feels like on both sides - having my handwork disrespected (huge blanket, expensive materials, countless hours... given to the dog) and being given handmade pieces I have no place for. I would hate for folks to feel like they *had* to keep something I made *just* because I made it. Imagine if we kept every piece of art our children ever made! I try now to communicate with folks, especially when it's a surprise gift, that they don't have to hang onto it for fear of hurting me or offending me. The joy for me was in thinking of them and creating the thing. 💗💗
Someone asked me to make baby clothes and blankets for her baby. I made so much for her including one from the yarn given to me by the babies late great grandmother. She put one cardigan on the baby and donated everything else. It hurt so now I am a bit reluctant to gift to her now.
If they asked you and have you yarn from the baby's great grandma, it sounds like they really wanted the items! But some babies come out big, and need a 3 month size after only one month, and have already outgrown newborn size when they get here, and then some babies come out small/premie so although the clothes will eventually fit, it will be the wrong season to wear them. Etc. Plus sometimes parents just end up much more overwhelmed than they'd expected. Plus babies, especially first babies, get a LOT of stuff, so they can't keep up with everything (including photos of everything), but on the other hand, babies go through a lot of clothes in a day too, so it might just mean that they weren't wearing your things when they were photographed. All of which to say, the token photo doesn't mean they weren't appreciated. (I know from my sister and brother in law that even doing that token photo individually for every relative and friend who sent them something was still a lot, when there's stuff all over the place and nothing with it's gift tag and the baby shower was a month ago and you've been through major physical and emotional trauma since then and you've also only slept 3 hours in the last 2 days and none of that was more than 20 minutes at a time. The chances of even remembering who things are from to do that token photo when both the baby and at least one parent are in a relatively good mood, is pretty low. Etc. They still loved the gifts.)
Hi Shannon. I just joined your channel. I can't believe I found someone that said just what I think. I was gifting projects to family members, but realized they don't really appreciate them. I have given my grandkids many beanies, but when I saw pictures of them in the snow they were wearing store bought beanies 😔I, like you, have started to make things for myself. I am a fairly talented knitter and crocheter and I don't feel the need to make things for people that don't appreciate them. Whew, I finally got that off my chest 😅
In 2022, my sister asked me to make blanket for a baby, who was to be born in the months to follow. She wanted to pick out yarn, and so I had her do that. I didn't have a lot of time, so I did it as fast as I could. It turned out very nice. It took her forever to pay and longer to come get it. The baby had been born for a couple of months by that point. Later, I was visiting her. I saw that her dog was sleeping on it. It sort of hurt, because if she had an issue, she could have said something early on. Then, I thought, it's her blanket. I mentioned it to a family member in passing, and that person told my sister I was upset. I wasn't upset by that point. My sister told this family member that the dog really liked it and had lay down on it when she brought it inside. I figured, "Oh well." In a way, it's a compliment. Having said that, I will never work for family again. If I do, they will pay top dollar. They never appreciate what I do. I'd rather hand work to a stranger.
I've pretty much quit making things for other people. In my experience, most people don't want or appreciate or even like handmade gifts. Now I make stuff for myself, or sell it on my Etsy shop.
I have found that many people that don’t make things themselves, have no idea how much time, effort or money goes into items we make! That makes it hard for them to appreciate them!
I’m with you, once I give it away, it is no longer my concern. I hope they like it and cherish it, but if they don’t that is their choice. I get joy from making it and from giving it away. Okay now I’ve got to add this. Shannon take it from a former “people pleaser”, the older you get the less you care! I feel no shame about making things just for myself.
My real joy comes from making things for charity like blankets for Ronald McDonald House. (One time I even saw one of my blankets being used by a family when I was shopping at Lowes. That made my day.) I once made a large thread doily for a wedding present and never even got a thank you. (They divorced a year later lol.) You really have to be careful who you put your time and talent into. It's hard not to take it personally. I know which of my family members love to get crochet or knit items. Some people love crochet and needlework but others do not care for it. The advantage of giving to charity is that you know people can get something both that they need and that they like. Just my experience!
I have made blankets for my immediate family and that’s it. The rest of my crochet is donated to charities like the Linus Project. I find people just don’t appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. The same goes for any crafts now. I just make things for me.
I crochet & ship hats, fingerless gloves, mittens, scarves, cowls etc to children in a tribe up north. They are greatly appreciated, used, worn - and I get such earth responses!! They ask me to make specific ones with different colors or yarns, etc and I try to accommodate! I only make things for immediate family, or if they ask for something for a close friend I will; nothing too elaborate any more, easy quick and simple (unless a special gift my daughter or Granddaughter asks for as a gift to a close friend), they are appreciated. I also make bath mitts & wash cloths as gifts.
It really hurts when they make a scene acting embarrassed and immediately hiding it right in front of me! When I knew it was beautiful. A purse made from felted yarn with fabric lining with zipped pockets. Very professional. I'm not stupid, I know it was good. It was an intentional dig! Then she made a scene out of taking the paintings I had given her over the years and putting them in a yard sale for me to see. After stealing my inheritance! Thanks for posting this!
I struggled with this, too, never feeling my gifts were appreciated. After crocheting numerous afghans and such at my cost for family, I decided to crochet for charity. Now I feel especially good about doing my craft and giving back.
When my dad was dealing with cancer i didn't have a lot of money, but i did have a lot of yarn. i crocheted him a lap afghan and sent it to him, i hoped it would provide a little comfort. later, when he was terminal and we were dealing his house, i found the box with the afghan and he just opened a corner and left it in there. still hurts a bit but it's ok. on the other hand, i knitted my son a scrap blanket and i saw it in pics he sent later. and other people have said my fair isle knitting is a work of art. so ?? i kinda think it depends how appreciative a person is, which has nothing to do with us, really.
I can totally relate to this. Including the guilt of making pieces just for yourself. It sounds selfish but it actually gives you the peace of mind that the only person that will be grateful and impressed with your skills is first and foremost you and that is enough
Don't feel guilty.😢 Not only are you enjoying yourself but you are bringing beauty to the world, as each new person sees you wear it AND you are not supporting fast fashion with that item. You have something unique, like a kilt or a barong or any traditional garment shows a person's tribe. You can distinguish yourself against the greige (mass produced) even if your colors are greige (grey/beige)!
I slaved to make my mom 4 amigurumi pumpkins with real sticks as the stems for Halloween after only being a crocheter for 4 months at that point. I actually did a pretty good job and I really really liked making them. They are currently sitting in the basement with the stems broken off, flung into a corner. But then I made her a couple amigurumi birds and stuff and she loves those. They’re in her room.. but I don’t know, something about her rejecting my pumpkins was really hard. And to make matters worse, my grandma requested that I make her a pumpkin and my mom kind of just blew it off and said that she could just give her one of the ones I made her to give to Grandma instead of just making her her own.. I begged her not to and was really sad as to why she would want to do that. so she not only completely rejected them. She tried to pawn them off on someone else.. I ended up giving my grandma a pumpkin, yes, one of the ones I made my mom and a couple months later my grandma died. She really loved my pumpkins.. way more than my mom did..
I could not reject a homemade gift in anyway. As a crocheter, even if I hated it, I’d still be so appreciative. I know the time it takes, and wow this person thought of me!
One thing not mentioned is when a maker passes on.... I had not considered this either until my mother-in-law passed about 2 years ago. She was a master knitter and there were several closets and a huge room in her house filled with yarn, tools, fabric, machines etc. We gave away as much yarn as we could to friends and family who had a use for it. She also had about 250 completed items (sweaters, blankets, shawls) that she left behind, all beautifully made. We gave away most of these on a local give away / take away exchange in our small town and people I spoke to were so grateful. And so, all of these lovely things are out there in the world and who knows where they may end up.
I Shannon! I have learned through the years of crocheting, there are people worthy of handmade crochet and people who are not. If someone asks me to make them something, I give them a price and if they decide not to purchase then I don’t have to worry about wasting my time. I actually prefer to make for myself and like you said, I have some very nice pieces in my wardrobe. When I’m bored of my own stuff, I either put in the thrift store or give away, then I just let it go. Great video
When my mom started crocheting shawls, she gifted me her very first one. In my family's word, its a hideous thing, with gross a color combo. I love it. Years later she gifted me a new on, in purples and greys which I love. Recently she saw that first one in the background of a photo I sent her and she was amazed I still have it. Not just have it, I use it too. She cried because no one else had kept any of theirs. But I literally work from home, making things by hand. I understand the time and care that goes into it. I don't think my mom will be around much longer with her poor health, but those two shawls will be with me forever.
That’s so awesome! I know my daughter received a few of my beginner items too ❤️
I love that! You made your mom feel so good
That's love
I have a shawl my aunt crocheted for me when I was 18 years old - I will be 78 next month. The shawl is hanging my bedroom door.
❤❤❤
Once at my daughter's house I saw my teenage granddaughter wearing a crocheted black sweater, I commented that it was pretty ( very difficult open stitching.) She replied with a laugh that I had made it for her mom.....thirty years ago! I had completely forgotten! ( but hey, they still liked it!)
That’s so awesome!!! I love it!
That's so amazing ❤ It's incredible how things circle back around ⭕
My 8 year old loves a bag my great-grandma made for me almost thirty years ago. I like to think that Gram is smiling down on us every time my child is gushing over how much they love that bag.
I’ve noticed my daughter in law doesn’t display anything I make ,even when I visit 😂, she’s a lovely girl but I guess it’s not her thing ,so I give to my daughter and my grand baby overseas , but I’m thinking to start donating blankets to hospice now , so I can love doing them and they benefit someone else btw I’m 60 so it took a few years for me to learn ha ha
Wow that's awesome, what a wonderful blessing.
My gifts have never been returned or regifted because I make blankets for shelter dogs and cats. They are always thankful and it makes me happy to give them something that is comforting.
I LOVE THIS! I worked in rescue for 3 yrs and I know those babies are so grateful to have what you give!!! Our shelter used to give the blankets to the new parents when the pets got adopted so that the pet could have something of their own with them and I loved it. Both of my cats still have their shelter blankets from when they were adopted and it's been over 10 years for both of them, they still love and adore snuggling on them! I am so grateful for people like you
Thankyou for your lovely, true comment. It made me cry. Human beings are so much less than animals. A cat just wants a cosy place to rest, and couldn't care less about its colour or pattern. They judge us only on our acts of kindness and, sadly, sometimes, cruelty to them. Bless you and enjoy!
I am just mocking some dog sweaters - lots of homeless folks here have dogs. Dogs have excellent taste. ❤
you know you have an appreciative audience with them..and also, more than one pet may end up using each blanket..
It’s sad that dogs and cats appreciate your work more than humans would. 😔
Almost no one appreciates a handmade gift as much as it deserves.
@@connievaughn8468 tell me about it 🙄
As a witch, I love handmade. It's literally woven energy and vibes from someone who gaf about you.
Oh I disagree with this I have people who do appreciate what I make. I have gotten to a point that I evaluate who I give things too. I have people in my life who are knit worthy but do not want knitwear & I appreciate that information. I will make for instance a baby blanket for a new baby family but make it in a yarn that is washable ad in aran or Chucky so it is a quick knit. I will let that go out with love & let it go. If someone wants a blanket or a sweater, I will say I can teach you how to do it. Usually our craft is not valued by people who don't craft. I just nice say no & leave it at that.
Honestly, if that's how you feel when you make a handmade gift for someone, then don't make it. It's not good for your mental health.
I have a couple of afghans that were purchased in thrift shops. When I use one of them, I like to say a little prayer for the person who made it. I ask God to send some good blessing or good karma to the maker, be that person alive, reincarnated, or in between. I hope that somehow, they can benefit from their work helping me literally to keep warm in a Michigan winter.
I once made a quilt. Very expensive, the fabric alone was about 350 dollars, then the batting for the king sized quilt was very expensive as was backing, threads, everything. There was a lot of hand appliqué on it , embroidery work. And it took me about six months to make it, and the person I made it for, and they requested it. I gifted it to her for her birthday. The next day I went over there to help her with something else. I went in. And her dogs were laying on it and it was outside on the dirty patio. She had given it to her dogs. Normally I just gift things and am able to let it go. But that quilt had so much of my heart, and I cared so much for the person I gave it to, that I immediately became very upset, told her what I thought and left. The quilt had already been torn by the dogs, mud and some other nasty urine stains. I stood there a few seconds and considered grabbing it, but instead I just left. It just made me feel that this person ( a sibling). Did not hold me as close to their heart as I held them to mine. And I figured out later this was true and it just took this incident to open my eyes. Now I do art quilts, and other fiber arts, and multi media. I no longer gift what I make. But I sell it. Quilts do not sell for enough to make king and queen sized quilts. But beautiful decor and wall hangings are featured in local design and decorating shops. And at a local art institute that features local artists. So that is what happens to my stuff. So it goes to those who appreciate it. But I no longer gift it at all.
It is heartbreaking isnt it. I know how you feel. All those hours of work and the love that goes into the making. It is so insulting. I’ve been given so few things in my life that I treasure them and keep them close. I’m glad you sell your work and that it is going to like minded women. Good for you. ❤ from the U.K.
Wow, that would be so painful! I’m so sorry you went through that, but I’m glad you didn’t give up on your craft! ❤️
That’s an awful story and I would have cried when I saw that. Quilts are works of art and should be handled with care. I’m sorry that happened to you.
That is one of the worst stories about a sibling I have ever read, worse by far than . . . Well, I have had things I've made stolen, and that's bad, but, wow! So sorry that you went to all that trouble and she did that to your fine gift. And I'm glad you found a good way to put your art to work. You are inspiring! Thank you, I needed that inspiration.
@jackiehorn3724 that's so sad. My first major crochet pieces were all gifts. It makes me sad to hear others don't get appreciation for the work that goes in to their creations. Iam so sorry!
Unfortunately, there is a mindset that handmade gifts are just a cheap way of giving presents, it completely ignores the high cost of the raw materials and worse still ignores the hours of love and work that go into the making.
Once I give a gift, it is out of my life. I have learned to completely let go because the recipient is in control.
That's smart. I volunteer at our TINY local library and people want to control what we do with the books they donate and it's pretty frustrating.
@peglamphier4745 wow...I could not imagine doing that. I have donated books knowing it would go to their used bookstore.
This is absolutely the only decent way to think about gifts, handmade or otherwise
@@JustBeAPerson but it’s normal to want your gift to be received well
Wonderful perspective!
After my mom was diagnosed with dementia and had to eventually go into full time care I had to clean out her house. I gave all of my mom’s yarn, knitting needles, and crochet hooks to a sweet friend from church. She surprised me a couple months later with a beautiful knitted throw made with some of my mom’s yarn. ❤ It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received and I treasure it. It is always on display on the back of a chair in my living room.
That’s beautiful! ❤️
That is beautiful! What a sweet, thoughtful friend.
I suspect some of the stuff in thrift stores were from cleaning out an older person when either they downsize or pass away. I like to think they were loved items and ready for a new home.
That's always my assumption too. I mean, my dad has given me dozens of afghans and I'm about to downsize, kids are all gone, don't need all those beds with afghans on them.... what am I going to do with all of them?
@peglamphier4745 pass them down to the next generation....keep it in the family. Right now I'm keeping a beautifully knitted baby blanket in safe keeping because the great aunt who made it passed during the pandemic and my husband used it as a baby and our kids have used it as babies, so I hope.my eldest daughter appreciates handmade work and passes it down when her turn comes.
Agreed.
@@deniseyoung3738 I think the same way.
I think so to Denise, I donated the crochet blankets my mom had at her care center when she passed. It happens for sure!
I always say when I gift a piece “ If you don’t like this please give it to someone who does”.😊
@@joangallagher9754 Or give it back.
I do the very same thing. I have no problem with people regifting my gifts. Hopefully it will go to someone who will enjoy it.
Totally. Upon gifting something handmade, I often add, “If you find this doesn’t fit in your world-now or in the future-please do redistribute it elsewhere in the universe!” 🤓
SchalaKid@@SchalaKidLove that. 💖
I personally think it's selfish to get upset that somebody have given away Your gift .. it's a called "gift" for a reason. 👀
I wouldn't want "my items" cluttering up somebody's home .. I would much rather want my "gifts" are distributed however n wherever the person chooses to .. 🤭
You wouldn't mind then if they cut your work to pieces and used it as a rag?
A wise woman once told me to only make handmade gifts for people who COULD make it themselves. She said those are the only people who will truly appreciate it. I used to make all the (extended) family Christmas gifts, because I really couldn’t afford anything else. I heard through the grapevine that some family members didn’t like that. The next year, I used up a lot of single skeins making small projects like slippers, hats, headbands, scarves, etc. I made more items than I needed, put them in a big basket, and invited everyone to take one thing. It was such a hit, and people took things I never would have chosen for them. One college age girl took a hat that she wore the rest of the day, and I learned later that she wore it everywhere and loved it. That one hat made all my time knitting worth it!
A friend of mine inherited two gorgeous wholecloth quilts, made by her great-grandmother, and in pristine condition. She took them to an appraiser who said they were worth at least $1500 each. She decided to keep one, and gave the other as a wedding gift to her favorite niece. Months after the wedding, she visited the niece and her husband. As she was leaving, she noticed the dog bed in the corner, and there, neatly folded in the dog bed, was her great-grandmother’s $1500 quilt. Some people don’t value handmade.
What a nice idea! I often have the urge to just let people opt in me gifting them objects I’ve already made to take off the pressure. I think you’re right a lot of people don’t appreciate the craft but for the record I wouldn’t necessarily consider it degrading to an object to let a beloved pet use it. Pets are part of the family.
I expect the niece was not informed as to the value of the quilt.
Noooooooo
😲😲
Agast
I Loved this! An elderly lady at my church crocheted a baby sack for my baby shower, she didn’t have much money and used scraps of synthetic yarn. It was a mix of several different colors and had a repurposed zipper up the front. She had hands that I am sure were arthritic. I loved this gift and made sure my little baby wore it often to church where she would see it. I recently gave it to him, he is 44. Keep the gift, use it and know that someone made every stitch while thinking of you!!!
@@karendunlap4037 What a lovely show of appreciation! It’s not always easy to receive handmade gifts. You can feel imposed on even. I have thought that hobbyists want to enjoy their hobby and their pleasure in making an afghan, or whatever supersedes their “ thoughtfulness” in presenting you with a gift. To be on the safe side, I graciously accept the handmade gift and never would dream of disposing of it..
Beautiful comment!
@@karendunlap4037 that is so true!
I love how you did this. May the kindness come back on you. As I'm sure it does, many times over.
You have a lovely, pure heart.
My SIL requested that I make her a huge afghan in very specific colors to use as a couch cover. When I gave it to her she said it was exactly what she wanted and put it right on the couch. A couple of months later I was walking up to her front door and had to pass by the garbage bin and there was that very expensive afghan that had taken me a long time to make, sticking out of the garbage bin. I took it out and went up to the house and asked her why it was in the trash. She said it was perfect for what she wanted but she was just tired of it after a couple of months. I don't waste my time or money making things for people like that any more. I really love and appreciate hand crafted works.
I would have taken it back and washed it.
even if you don't want to use something right now you can always put it up for later. I know my favorite blanket to sleep with at a certain friends house was this giant crochet blanket. this is just wasteful as hell
I probably would never give her anything else again. I mean, I don't get the tired of it thing, not really, that's what closets are for. But to just toss it out? There's no excuse for that. Donation was a possibility.
Too many times, when people aren't the ones putting in the time and money, they don't have any value towards the object. Fast Fashion is actually a good example of this. The clothes coming out of this do take time, the people who make these clothes are often suffering (poor, hungry, bad working conditions, toxic chemicals, labor violations). But people don't see that. They click a button, it costs a few bucks, so who cares when it tears or they don't like it and it goes in the trash? There's not thought to the actual labor and network that went into getting them that cloth.
Awful carry on 😢
Nooo that's awful. At the very least she could have given it back to you or donated it to someone else.
My granddaughter is 8 and last year they had to prep for the chance of evacuation due to forest fires. Everyone in the family got a fire box to put their most precious things in so that they could grab it if they had to run. Luckily they didn't have to - but when they unpacked later in the year since the threat was gone, they found that her box was stuffed to the gills with everything that I had ever knitted or crocheted for her from the time that she was born. My heart almost burst, those were the most important things to her in the world ❤ (and boy, some of the early ones were hidious!) I will never forget that. Mind you, I'm 59 and have everything that my long passed grandmother ever made for me. There's some ugly 70's stuff, but I treasure them.
@@JillLalande this one brought tears of joy and sweetness to my eyes. May My granddaughter may love some of the things I’ve made for her that much.
The way I see it is once the item has been gifted it’s no longer mine and it’s none of my business what they do with it. However, if I discover that they gave it away or whatever, then they definitely don’t get anything else handmade from me. I prefer to crochet and knit items for myself anyway.
I think you've got the right idea!
There are definitely people that I will never gift again. I have very good memory.
agreed
I agree 100%.
😂 yea
Most people do not understand the time and work that goes into handmade items. Nor the heart and soul that goes with it. They are used to off the rack mass production with no thought at how it is made. So sad.
So true. And also the cost! Crocheted blankets use a lot of yarn and folk don't always appreciate the cost. Luckily my blankets - dating back 50 years (I'm now 60) - are still in use.
@@marymorales2066 and this is why it’s important that you really know the person that you’re gifting. If you’ve never seen them use certain item or consume certain food and their style is not your style, don’t gift such item. My MIL used to gift me wall decorations with inspirational words and I hated those. She’s been to our house countless of times and sees what I’m into and what I’m into. I said thank you but I never displayed those frames. I’m not gonna stare at something I hate in my own home just bc it was gifted. She finally noticed that she hasn’t seen any of the home decorations she has given me and stopped buying them.
Well let me tell a GOOD story to offset some of the horror stories - and we've all been there, myself included. Years ago I crocheted my son a "mile-a-minute" afghan out of a masculine black/gray/off white color scheme. The mile-a-minute pattern isn't anything really special, and the yarn was cheap acrylic, and I never expected him to do much more than drape it on a couch or something. Turns out my son LOVED this thing. Shortly after he got married, his basement flooded and the afghan was down there in his "man cave." His wife told me the first thing he grabbed out of there to save was that ratty afghan! Almost 20 years later he still has it and uses it, I see it every time I visit him - well worn and well loved.
That is so awesome!!! Thank you for sharing that heartwarming story!
I have a nephew who is quite well known in the entertainment world. Every year fans give him handmade items, often quilts or afghans. He expresses appreciation, knowing that he has no use for these things. So he packages these items up and gives them to a local nursing home. It is his hope that the quilts and afghans are used. One year the home got 35 quilts.
@@maryoleary2037 this is such a lovely thing to do!
I've been on both sides of this. I know from watching my Mom that sometimes makers make what they want to make, and then gift it to someone. The gift doesn't reflect the recipient's taste, or the recipient at all. It's not truly a gift; the person becomes free off-site storage. They're expected to keep and treasure an item forever, because it took a lot of time to make, despite the fact thay they don't like it, never asked for it, or can't use it at all.
If a maker wants to mass make any item for pleasure, maybe sell them, or donate them to a fundraiser, rather than give them to people who may not want them. Especially if rejection is painful.
We have no right to obligate someone to keep and use our gifts forever. Yes, it really hurts of the gift was made thoughtfully, and we guessed wrong about how they would feel about it. But we have no right to saddle others with forever items.
Your mom sounds like my mom. My mom is a borderline hoarder and she stashes stuff at my place that she thinks I should like (I usually don’t). I just don’t have the time to go through it because I have small kids. It’s infuriating.
This is so true. I am one of those people who re-gifts, gives to charity gifts that I don’t like, or fits my surroundings…but I also don’t expect others to keep my gifts that they don’t like. I don’t want them to be stuck with objects they don’t want and useless to them
Yes! Thank you for saying this! I finally managed to get out of the gift-giving at Christmas and birthdays when I almost always received gifts that I didn't want. I had to keep them for a few years before I could get rid of them. I especially endorse your point about the giver making a project according to their own tastes and interests and then randomly giving it to someone. It's not thoughtful. Sell it or donate it to a school fair.
oh that's a good take. if u gift something to someone and that person doesn't like it, it doesn't matter if u made it with so much effort, but it means you didn't consider THEIR taste or know them enough to know what they want. this does not only apply to handmade items but with anything. did u give them a gift bcs YOU like it, or did u genuinely think abt what THEY would like? i've been on both sides as well
Agreed. It’s like buying your friend tickets to a football game even though your friend has said multiple times that they don’t like football, or even sports in general.
Honestly, no one appreciates a homemade gift more than pets. When I adopted my cat she came with a homemade blanket just for her. I found a home for another cat that had been abandoned and so she would feel like she had something of hers, I made her a crocheted blanket. Pets will always appreciate what is given to them no matter what.
@@FeralFelineFriend I was thinking the same. I had a dog who would take care of his blankets. Only accidentally it would get broken because it catches on his teeth. But most of the blankets stayed nice. And he liked it that way. He would hide everything under his blanket
Absolutely agree.
I crochet blankets, and send them to friends whom I have connected with on Instagram, for their beautiful, mainly rescued) pets. They seem to love snuggling under their blankies.
I'm a beginner to crochet, and I'd love to try and expand my knowledge.
😂❤
Seriously. I was given a handmade blanket from a family member. I really enjoyed it and would often keep it on the sofa. My cat claimed it and loved it, and she snuggled that thing even while cancer took her away. We still have the blanket, but I don't know what to do with it because it makes me sad, so it is on a cat bed for the other cats. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate the blanket. In fact, the opposite. I am very, very glad my cat had that blanket to enjoy.
I knit a lavender scarf for my Mom for Christmas. It took about 2 months, and it was elaborately cabled. The scarf was also the first thing I knitted for her. She praised the craftsmanship, declared it pretty, yaya. A few hours later, she approached me with a box, folded the scarf carefully, stated she would keep it safely STORED away. Uh, what? This was perfect scarf weather. I made this gift to be worn and enjoyed, not archived in a personal accessory museum. My heart sank. Yes, I'm glad that she appreciated the gift, but I was disappointed to see she didn't like it.
Now I make sweaters for my brother. He wears them to rags, and I couldn't be happier.
My friend has a relative who does the same thing, the relative will *never* wear something handmade, prefering to store it away. So one holiday, my friend gifted her handmade earrings, and when asked if she made them, she said no. Recipient put them on and happily enjoyed them, then a few hours later asked, "you did make these, didn't you?" She confirmed she did but the recipient kept wearing them.
That's very disappointing! Sounds like you've got a great brother tho!
haha i like how tricky that was!
@@kathryngoff7089 hi my mum was a bit like that she didn't like wearing things because they might get wrecked. So kept them folded away But she came from a time where that's what you did with treasured items. Didn't mean that she didn't love them. My Sil gave out pottery that she made. She loves that I have them in use & says I'm the only one who does. Lol doesn't mean I love them just that I appreciate them.
I used to make gifts for friends and family, spending a considerable amount of time thinking about and creating something special for each person, but realised when I was told "what a lovely item that I never knew I needed" and was called cheap for not splashing the cash and instead making an "inexpensive" gift, that it wasn't appreciated or enjoyed and so I stopped. I just make stuff for me now. I had thought about selling some of my creations to get a few pennies in my savings pot, but those comments really knocked me back.
I am 74 years old and have been crocheting since I was a child. I also have been gifted dozens of afghans, sweaters, quilts etc. I have always loved these gifts and use them usually for a couple of years. But if I keep everything that has been gifted to me I would need a warehouse to store it all in. So yes, I donate to thrift shops knowing someone will be able to enjoy it for a slim price. I do have some things that I will not part with ever like a quilt made by my grandmother. Also when you see those beautiful shawls etc in a thrift shop, know that they were probably loved dearly by someone and maybe that someone has passed and these things were left behind and donated. Not all things you see in the thrift shops were rejected. When I give a gift it is no longer mine, It is for someone to use or re-gift or whatever. If they re-gift it, that means they wanted to give someone something special that maybe they could not make themselves or couldn't afford to buy. I do re-gift things and love handing things over to be loved even more by someone else. Just my old lady thoughts,
Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm 72, crocheter.
I'd much rather something I made be regifted and used by someone who's going to love it; then sit unused because the person I initially gave it to doesn't have a use for it.
Wow..
I mostly stopped making things for people after someone laughed at a special birthday gift I had crocheted for them using an intricate pattern and a much smaller yarn and hook than I am used to using. I was so proud and excited to give the gift. To say I was crushed when they laughed and said it was a joke gift would definitely be an understatement. I'd rather get a polite thank you and never see the gift than experience that again! Now I mostly make wonderful things for myself in colors I love with the rare gift thrown in.
Obviously that person had no taste and certainly no concept of the work involved in the making of a gift. They would be the recipient of a gift card to a fast food high calorie place. And not enough in value to pay for the full meal. I would rather that then spend any thought or care in another gift for them.
That's just nasty. I'm sorry that happened to you.
A friend re-gifted a jumper that she was given to her daughter. It caused a bit of drama at church as the giver was upset. The daughter loved the jumper … wore it every week. While the giver was startled she thought it was okay after thinking about it.
I’ve gotten to the point where I ASK before making anything to give someone and I always say “if you aren’t going to use it then just say no to me making it for you. It won’t hurt my feelings”. Thank you for this video.
YW!
@@GreatGreebo great idea! Lately I’ve been making the Butterfly shawl. It’s not a beginner pattern and it’s very time consuming. I wanted to make one for my best friend. She loves butterflies. Something told me to ask her first and she very gently told me that she wouldn’t wear it. I’m so glad I mentioned it first! Now I’m enjoying it and I treasure it.
I have a friend who wants you to keep EVERYTHING she gives you. And, wants them on display. And, wants you to tell everyone that she gave it to you. Remember it’s the thought that counts when you give. Some people are keepers. Some are purgers. Once given, LET IT GO. If it’s that valuable to you, keep it.
That’s a lot of pressure to keep and display!!!
Oh geez. That wouldn't be a friend of mine for long.
@@PurpelDewdrop 💯 agreed. Once given away they can do what they want with it . That’s why it’s a gift it’s yours . If the person giving it doesn’t want it given away or what have you than keep your crochet items
@@PurpelDewdrop that's why I only give chocolate.
That’s why I don’t make anything super special or intricate for people. If they don’t want it and get rid of it I won’t be hurt. I don’t want a gift to be a burden
When I first go to a thrift store, the first thing I look for is hand made items. I rarely find anything but have got a blanket for my guest room and a baby blanket for my soon to be born granddaughter. If I could find an unloved blanket big enough for my queen size bed I would feel like I’m wrapped in a strangers love every night. I used to knit and crochet extensively. I have RA and can’t do it anymore and it is the worst part of this disease.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, for every unloved gift that ends up in a thrift store, there is someone like me who will find it, appreciate it and give it the love it’s always deserved.
Excellent point!
I crocheted my daughter's wedding dress. I took every measurement you could possibly take and made the pattern myself. She wanted a medieval inspired design. It took 17 balls of Southmaid size 10 crochet cotton in burgundy. It had an almost circle skirt which i gradually made longer in the back to form a small train. It was a berry and leaf pattern I had gotten from a doily book. The skirt was so heavy I made it separate from the top in an empire waist with sleeves that fit tight to the elbows then belled out. That was worn over a full length black sheath dress. I crocheted a cap, swagging a burgandy gem pendant on her forehead with the chain going back. The veil was three layers, chapel length black tulle, mid length burgandy lace for the second, and a long train of black tulle last. She was so beautiful! The dress fit her perfectly, everybody loved it! She gave me their apartment key so I could feed their cats while they were gone on their honeymoon. I went the next day with my son to feed them and the dress and headpiece was just laying on the living room floor. My son said I should take it if that's all she cared about it. But I picked it up, put it up on a shelf in their closet where the cats couldn't go and said no, I made it for her, it's hers to do as she wants. But when I see pictures of the wedding I could just cry.
If you are having a medical issue and loose your hair (from chemo) those hats might get to hold those memories as well. Don't take it personally, as a survivor, I couldn't even keep some of my clothes because they reminded me of the chemo.
Very good point!!!
Pass them on to another in need ❤
What a gracious reflection. I went bald during chemo and it felt like my nerve endings were on fire. I bought an expensive wig and could not stand to wear it because the net inside felt electrified. And not a hat that I knitted myself. All I could wear on my scalp were turbans made of soft jersey fabric. Neuropathy on my hands limited what I could do with them, as well.
I generally make things for people who will actually appreciate a handmade item. Once I made a hat for one sister ( she knits). when she gave it to our other sister she told her not to tell me about it. We are all in our 60’s. It’s time to get rid of stuff so 20 plus years from now our kids won’t have to. I tell my sister all the time, “in your decluttering, don’t ever hesitate to pass along something I made to someone else”. Give it to someone who will use it.
With any gift, I don’t believe the giver wants you to hold onto something you don’t like. Or something that is cluttering your house.
I spend hours making hats for the homeless every year. I don’t know whether they appreciate them. But I’m happy that that I’ve tried to make a difference.
I gift with the caveat "I'll never ask you where it is." Both of us off the hook.
Very smart!
That’s a good idea.the only time I say where is something is if they ask me to make something else and I never seen them in what I already made lol
Yes, I gift the crochet item and then never ask where is it. I crochet to decompress not to be depressed.
When someone asks, tell them to purchase all the materials. You will never hear from them again.
@@sharontabor7718 I’ve done this, too. They’ll never bring it up again!
Yeah, or ask them "So, what's your budget?"
I still have a sweater my mother knitted for my son over 40 years ago. I’m pretty sure she used Red Heart super saver. It’s not soft, it’s made with red, white and blue yarn. Pretty sure it was all she had and I love it so much. I had six children and that sweater was passed down to all my children. Still looks like new. Of course, that’s the nature of super saver yarn, isn’t it. You just can’t wear it out. The sweater was also worn by grandchildren. That sweater is priceless.
That is awesome!
@@ShannonTalksYarn hope you don’t mind if I share a little story with you. Many years ago, I crocheted a granny stitch triangle shawl for myself. My daughter’s littlest girl grew up seeing me wear that shawl every day. I used to wrap the two of us up in it when she sat in my lap. Well, it’s been many years and I was just about to toss it as it has served me well, but is obviously very worn. When my granddaughter heard I was going to throw it away, she begged me not to. She said, “ Grandma, that shawl is you! You can’t ever throw it and !”. That comment filled my heart and I told her I would keep it. So, worn or not, I still wear it almost every day. When I’m gone, I’m pretty sure I know who is gong to claim that shawl.
@@kathleennece715 oh my gosh that’s amazing, I love it!!!
You are so nice-I would have immediately said “I already made that for you 2 years ago. So no, I can’t do another. Maybe look for the one you already have?” And walked away.
I have had so many bad experiences with making things for others I just won’t do it anymore.
When I see a hand made item in a thrift store or yard sale I can’t help but buy it and take it home. The maker may never know but it will be loved and cared for in my home.
These comments are so juicy to read even though I feel so bad for everyone who's work wasn't appreciated
My aunt made my sister the most beautiful quilt. She made my mom a beautiful quilt also and my mom didn't like it ("not her style") and put it in the closet. An heirloom quilt was also given to my sister. For some reason, no one thinks I want or value a quilt and here I am ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over the gifts, yet I get nothing and I would actually appreciate and cherish these things. A different aunt had a contest for the family and the winner would get an afghan she made. I won the contest and was so excited about the afghan but then she never actually gave it to me. I don't understand. 😢 I ended up buying an afghan from a thrift store on ebay. It wasn't expensive, but was so pretty. When it arrived, I discovered it was made with amazing wool yarn. It was probably from someone's estate. Maybe there was no one to pass it on to. I'm glad to have it.
@KMx108 I hear you... Consider asking your mom if you can have the quilt. It may not hurt to ask. She may actually let it go. Good luck!
@@carmentorres2083 good idea except my mom puts it out any time the aunt who made it comes to visit! Such an awkward situation.
@@KMx108 I hear you. It is complicated. 😒 Blessings. 🫂
@KMx108 if she tell her aunt the truth, that she loves it, but you loved it so much, and had wanted it for so long. So she decided to give it to you because it would keep it in the family. 😊
@@KMx108 I'd have asked your mum if you could have hers and if your aunt asks why you have it - just explain that it's to replace the one you won because you loved them so much! Either you get the one you won and we're promised or you get to keep and show appreciation yo the other one you love. Alternatively you could strike up a conversation with your aunt about how beautiful they are and if you could buy one from her or learn how to make your own? Might at least give your family the hint via the grapevine. Also if subterfuge is less desirable then why not straight up ask the contest host where the prize is since you've waited so long? You're entitled to the prize you earned, and if someone tells you you're being 'disrespectful' by asking that's bs and you tell them right back its more disrespectful to lie about giving someone something you worked for. 😑 I hope you have a better time with your family in future they all sound a bit self serving and two faced if I'm being honest.
I made a blanket for my nephew and his wife for a wedding gift. Saw facebook pictures of it in the dog's bed. Ouch. I've also seen my makes at garage sales, I buy them back. Seriously, the looks on their faces are worth every penny, lol.
Wow!
Wooow wild the dogs bed 😂 and that classy pettiness of buying your work back is chef's kiss 💋 😘! That's my type of petty clapback
The exact same thing happened to me. Spent about 2 months making a massive blanket for a housewarming present for a friend in colours I know matched their decor. They showed me some photos of their new house a few weeks later with the blanket in the dog bed. They must have saw my face because they said that the dog loved it so much they couldn't get him off it. Lesson learned.
Once you give something to another, it’s no longer yours.
@@LouScotland1976 my dogs steal all of my blankets and quilts. As a super dog lover I just laugh and am glad they appreciate them.
My grandma made me a hand stitched quilt and it got lost in a move somewhere, being in the USAF. She gave it to me as a teen, and many of the squares were made from rather scratchy double knit material from the 70s. Now she's gone, and oh how I wish I had her quilt! She had cataracts when she made it, and now I see and appreciate just what she put into it, being a crocheter.
I have someone who I spent hours working on a gift for, and I later found it on the ground in their home, broken. I just note that they will never get something from me again, and move on. Because I also have someone who still has and uses the very first horrible scarf I ever crocheted as a child, even though I've made them better ones since. I figure out who deserves my time and love because they'll appreciate it, and those are the people I gift to.
Charity crafting is my main focus. My family members get a sweater, hat/scarf/mits or something else really nice every year for the holidays but I no longer crochet for anyone specific. I live in a less-than-affluent area. Not every child has what they need. The local schools have a "lost and found" box in each building where a child can "borrow" something to keep warm. It's amazing how many beanies, leg warmers, sweaters, mittens, ponchos, etc get "lost" and end up with new owners LOL! The local hospice company accepts donations of wraps and shawls and totes. My grade school grandkids give out bookmarks or worry-worms for Valentines Day. And a nearby hospital welcomes caps and receiving blankets to swaddle babies that don't get to go home with their family. Over the years I have had the fun of making items with no pressure to please and can release them to the Universe to end up where they are needed. I apologize for the long post.
@carolynchristy I make hospital bereavement items for babies, too. It's my most fulfilling item to make.
Don’t apologize, I appreciate you sharing! Thats great inspiration!
I would love to donate to hospitals, but I have a cat and I was once told they won't take anything from a house with a smoker or pets. (I donated instead to my local retirement home).
What a lovely sentiment 💜
This is my philosophy as well! I prefer crafting for charitable purposes
We are a disposable society. While also being sold the idea of "heirloom" projects. So what to do right?
Some folks arent sentimental at all. Some keep everything and verge on hoarding.
Its a fine line.
I once sold products from a craftbased company in the 80s. It was homesales, but I'd occasionally go door to door with it. I met the most delightful "older" lady ( probably my age now) whose passion was creating houses for a "Christmas village".
It was enormous. Taking up half her livingroom!
Fastforward to several years later. Driving through my now former neighborhood, i see people taking plywood, and multiple trash bags to the curb. There was a "sold" sign on the home.
I came to the conclusion the lady had passed on or gone to a nursing home. I was just crushed. This sweet lady's passion moved to the trash!
Speaking with a fellow crafter i was quite melodramatic carrying on about what had been the point? All her work for what?
At this point i was still believing the "heirloom" passing down through the ages advertisement hook.
My friend listened to me and said
"It gave her joy while she was here"
So i try to have my joy of creation, my joy of sharing, and let it go.
If the goodwill or dog gets it, thats out of my control.
This said, i have cut back on gifting, and often just create to create.
Very well said! Your friend is smart, it is about the joy of creating!
So well said ❤
I always remember that just because I like the look of crochet it doesn't mean everyone else does. That was a lesson learned the hard way. I never crochet (or knit) items for others unless they ask, and then I might still say no. LOL
A few years ago I crocheted a lovely blanket for my daughter. On the trip to visit after I had given it, I found it in the dog's bed, partly chewed and snagged. I was pretty hurt. She said "oh, but he loved it, so we let him have it". Needless to say, I have not given one since. The time and effort you put into something is worth checking out knit and crochet worthy people, whether family or not.
@@janetpingrey7155 I had the same thing happen to me. I crocheted a beautiful chunky fisherman knit sweater look afghan. I gifted it to my niece and when I visited her, Charlie, her German shepherd was loving sleeping on it. I laughed and said well, I love dogs so what the heck. Over a hundred dollars in yarn and the dog loved it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@deborahschoonover4294 I think Suede chewing it up bugged me the most. Never mind the money I put into it, but the hours of work.
Several years ago I learned the term ""knit-worthy". I have learned to say "no", and I knit for myself, dogs in my life (sweaters, toys, blankets), children in my life (toys), and for charity events (where someone is purchasing the item at a charity event). It really feels good to knit for those who want and enjoy the items. And dogs and kids top the list! Thank you for addressing this topic!
You're very welcome!
I crocheted a beautiful throw for my former mother in law. The colors were perfect for her bedroom decor. When she opened it at Christmas she immediately threw it in a corner and said to her dog “oh look Prissy, you have a new blanket “ in which the dog instantly started scratching into it.
I wasn’t hurt as much as I was angry. I never got her another gift after that. My husband would get her a gift card.
Terrible!
I actually knew better, she had always been a person that wanted expensive store bought things. If she had bought it herself for a lot of money ..she would have loved it. Handmade items to her were tacky. I was angry more at myself. Live and learn.
I was so lucky to have a fellow crafter as a MIL. She was always supportive of my endeavors and was an appreciative recipient. ♥️ We just cleaned out my late Dad’s storage and out came a lap afghan. Everyone looked at me, knowing I crochet. “Not me, but my MIL so mine now”, and grabbed it 😊)
You could have said "I'm glad to see it went to the 'bitch' that truly deserved it". I'm assuming Prissy was a girl dog LoL.
I told my friend over and over again that I don’t like plushies, still they have made and given me three plushies 😭 I appreciate the work and effort and thought SO much, but i DESPERATELY wish they’d just listen to me and not made them at all!!!!
That's a tough spot to be in!
@@smallspidersad78 girl for real I can't do amishiruguni? Whatever it's called? NOT cute at all people always tell me to crochet stuff. Looks weird
Boy did this resonate with me! I made a crochet blanket for my son's girlfriend. I had casually asked her which flowers she really liked and she said hydrangeas. I searched different colors of those flowers, bought some beautiful yarn and made her a very nice crocheted blanket. She lived with us for a while and I noticed that I NEVER saw the blanket out on the bed, or being used. About a year later when my son and I moved (and they had since broken up) my son was emptying out his closet and there was the blanket in the bottom of his hamper. That hurt me so much. So yes, I only make things for people I KNOW love and appreciate handmade items. I primarily make things for myself and honestly if anyone ever says, "I LOVE that blanket", or anything I've made such as hat, gloves, etc. ... it's theirs. I will just give it to them because I know they truly like it. I have also done some knit/crochet rescues at the thrift stores. If no one else appreciated the effort whoever made those things put forth, I do! I completely agree with all you said!!
Bummer. At least she left the blanket behind & didn't toss it. Sounds like you out a lot if work into it.
Great idea to give/offer items to people who compliment what you make or wear.
Agreed!
Thank you for sharing! I can see how that hurt!!! But you seem like you've got a great perspective on it!
I'm not sure what you expected. Crochets and knits are sometimes just not someone's style. I crochet, but I also do digital art. I would NEVER put HOURS of work into an art piece to gift to a friend of my child's and expect them to hang it on their wall. See how weird that sounds? Why is crochet different? Even if I printed my art piece onto a blanket for her, which is something she could actually "use". What if it's not her style? Like... what are you expecting?
I knit and crochet and appreciate anything hand made. A lady at our knitting group passed away. I hardly knew her, but I kept her latest piece of knitting still on her pins, just several rows of very tight knitting, but it was hers and a memory for me. For twenty years this has been on display in my craft room. I often wonder where the many things I’ve made will eventually finish up.
This is so sweet ❤
L❤ve what you did. A lovely idea.😅
In quilting, we say that some people are quilt worthy and some are not... Doesn't mean the gift isn't great.
@@beckybonanno9433
Yep...if they constantly refer to quilts as blankets, they are not worthy of receiving one.
I spotted one of my gifted quilts, a lonestar, in a dog bed. A dirty farm dog's bed. I wished I had kept it for myself.
Hearing that a recipient must be quilt-worthy, I'm even more touched that a friend of mine has given me 3 quilts and has made me 3 project bags with 2 more under construction. I do hand needlework so I appreciate handmade works of love. The biggest gift I've given her was a cross-stitched piece that looks like a miniature quilt. It took me 6 solid months of stitching and won Best in Show at my county fair.
I do a lot of handmade crafts I have a quilt someone I love gave to me if it has thread loose I fix it immediately
I am one of those not quilt worthy people. I just don’t think they’re as warm and soft as my other blankets. I love the way they look but I don’t like to use them.
agreed
I feel like you never truly understand how much work someone puts into something handmade until you start handmaking things yourself. My aunt has always been a quilter and she has made all of us quilts. I never got rid of any of the quilted things she made me, but I will admit the patterns were never to my taste so actual quilts I never really used. The bags she made us, even though I didn't like the patterns, I would use whenever I traveled because they could fit a lot in them like laptops and anything i wanted to have immediately with me and not in a suitcase. Once I started crocheting and beadweaving, I realized just how many hours go into these projects. Because of that, I do think it's important that you don't really offer these items as surprises unless it's something small (ill crochet simple things as ornaments) or you know the person will 100% like it or have the capacity to appreciate it (such as a fellow crafter). It's really smart to check with people first about what kinds of fabrics, colors, or patterns they like and get those inspo pics or it might end up being a waste of time. It's too bad that even though you communicated with people, they still couldnt appreciate your hard work. Honestly, I think most people don't until they try a handcraft themselves.
I ask myself before giving.." are they fiber worthy?"meaning appreciative of my fiber related products, if no, then not giving to them
That is so good. Are they fiber worthy... Because to me I'm giving them as part of myself. Not everyone is fiber worthy.. Thank you
I do this too ❤
I learned my lesson giving gifts, but the most recent was a tipping point. My neighbor, also a crocheter, makes afghans. I crochet anything that sparks my interest. I made her a very expensive cardigan. She gifted it to a friend of hers (taking credit for my work). I was very sour about it, but me being sour won't change the outcome. Like many of the other comments I only crochet for my human/ fury children and myself now.
To all the crafters, I appreciate the beauty of your work. Whether it's your first or thousandth piece be proud of it. ❤
Oh my gosh, now that's taking it to a whole new level....Passing it off as here own, WOW!
Got one for you: I made a beautiful toddler sweater for my great niece. It was wool, not superwash, first mistake. I knew what would eventually happen….hot water, shrink, accidentally washed incorrectly. That was inexperience on my part!
However, the sweater was gorgeous, much appreciated, worn A LOT and passed down to baby sister. Well, the extended family were all together one Christmas and the kids got the flu. Things got messy and the sweater was accidentally put in the washer and dryer.
My sister called me at 6:30 in the morning, from her voice, I thought somebody died. Geez. She told me what happened. I laughed and said, “ I was a rookie, I should have used superwash or acrylic.” She asked if I’d make another one. I said “ No, it was too much work, but I’d make something else.” I told her have the girls put it on a baby doll! Don’t fret.
Those little girls have each gotten a sweater a year and made them big girl blankets to replace their baby blankets that they used. Cute. “Crochet and Knitworthy”
Please use superwash wool instead of acrylic. Acrylic is plastic so it doesn't feel nice, and it certainly doesn't keep any warmth.
I recently thrifted 3 crochet blankets and I love them! someone lovingly stitched them and they are beautiful
Wonderful!
I’ve been reading so many comments on this video and I’m just blown away by the pure psychotic nature of some people. The stories of handmade gifts getting rejected in social settings, and being ripped up and peed on by dogs, people laughing when opening a handmade gift and embarrassing the maker of the gift, OMG it makes my blood boil and my heart hurt. I try to see the positive side in most situations but wow people are horrible. I’m glad I’ve never gone through something like these stories (and hopefully never will) because if someone openly rejected my handmade gift, especially in front of other people, I would be enraged and probably do something I’d regret…
@@roxycocksey why? If you gift something, it's entirely out of your control what happens with it. The fact that so many people here are hurt by their "gift" not being "loved" is absolutely baffling to me. Most crafters are blind to how their item actually looks/feels/goes with other's decor and forcing how it should be used is very controlling. *Just* because it was handmade doesn't mean it's a fit for the recipient (yes, throwing in the trash is wasteful, but again you can't control others).
@roxycocksey ok, here's a story: I made my 5 y/o niece a tiny tailored coat. I used Amish houndstooth homespun, welt pockets, fur cuffs, and collar. It was styled like a 1960s Jackie Kennedy coat. Her parents spent Christmas in Paris. As they strolled the boulevard, French women would stop them because of the coat. She got a lot of attention and would open the coat to show off the red lining. I wish I'd made a pillbox hat!
@@Mdeaccosta omg that’s sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing that story with me. How precious! She will remember you and that you made her that coat for her entire life and how special it made her feel.
I know the feeling. My son’s grandmother told me she really love white gold. I specifically picked her out a pair of pave 14k white gold hoops. I’ll be dog gone, I tell you… about 6 or 7 years later, she gave them back to me one Christmas. My heart sank. They were still in the box and everything. But I accepted them, because I felt the following holiday, she would have given them to someone else. I bought them from the heart, for her, so I preferred just keeping them. I never reminded her that I bought them for her years ago.
I’ve had that happen to me!
@@marybarratt2649 Heartbreaking. I’m sorry it happened to you as well. 🥺🥺🥺
That’s so sad!
@@marybarratt2649 😞😞😞
@@ShannonTalksYarn very ☹️
I once made little crochet toys for a friend's birthday based on a show we both loved growing up. They were simple, but cute. At her party, she pulled them out of the bag and laughed, saying "What am I supposed to do with these?" I didn't really know how to respond to that so laughed it off, but it clearly showed she didn't value my attempt at a personalized gift. It stung.
The weird thing is she's also a crafty crocheter. 😕
Oh geez! So sorry, Ouch, maybe she was jealous that you're a better crochet then her?
@gigic.7809 don't make it about jealousy. Likely the OP's memory of this show left an imprint on them. It's likely a fond memory for them. The friend may not have viewed that same memory in the same way. They could of been more empathetic to OP definitely.
Oh that's so rude😢
I understand very well what you say. I decided to stop giving handmade items because it happened that a hand made knit dress, 50hours work, was destroyed in the washing machine. Now when someone wants something i Say, i can teach you how to knit. And of course the person says no, i dont have time.
Wow, all the sad stories about handmade gifts not being appreciated in this video and the comments are so relatable. It brings me back 30 years ago to when I was working really hard to build up stock of my art work, so I could do art shows or craft fairs and maybe make some money with my talent. My mother-in-law told me, if I wanted to get rid of it all, I should just have a garage sale!
Some people have a talent for only crushing other peoples joy and dreams.
Just came across this today. I've been crocheting for so many years and have given my stuff away to people. I have not experienced getting something rejected but I know when someone I gave it to didn't even try using what I gave. Especially this Infinity scarf I gave to a coworker. At one point, I thought I will crochet Christmas gifts to coworkers, well I changed my mind. I'm gifting my stuff to me instead. And to my bestest best friend and her family who I know appreciates every single thing that I'm able to do and give them.
I guess I once faced a situation even worse than rejections. A few years ago when I was first into knitting, I made a raspberry stitch scarf (which actually gained good comments from most my friends and relatives). Then I gave it to my mom as a gift. She acknowledged it as well-made but stated that she didn’t like the pattern. As a result, my mom unraveled the scarf in front of me and started to knit the pattern that she liked.
Wow. 😮
@Mayfly_C OUCH! I'm sooo sorry! That was brutal.
That’s the worst!
@@Mayfly_C OMG. That’s hurtful. I’m sorry.
Danggggggggg
I have been through the wringer with all of the scenarios, more than once. I cried more than once over this. I once made a hand embroidered wedding pillow, my hands bled over making that gorgeous pillow… it was thrown in the basement, there was a flood, and then it went in the trash. And on, and on… I don’t make anyone anything anymore, unless they ask, and I don’t always say yes. I make things For Me now, I create, and keep.
My housemate once crocheted a small octopus keychain, it was not anatomically correct, there were a lot of big holes where some of the stuffing was coming out of and it wasn't perfect but I LOVE it!!!! They made it for me and I immediately put it on my keys and I always make sure it doesn't fall off or anything happens to it
That’s so awesome! ❤️
This is the reaction all crafters hope for. I gifted my partner an amigurumi, (this first I've ever attempted) and he was overjoyed that I had worked hard to create and conceal the project from him prior to gifting. He runs tabletop call of cthulu so a baby 'thulu was perfect. But I knew ahead of time that he adores silly little plush guys who have personality. People who pack bond with all creatures and plush they encounter are "crochet worthy"
Much common sense about the handwork as a gift. Thank you.
I've had a family member point out some yarn in my stash and say they would love a tank top made in that yarn. So for their birthday, I gifted them a tank top made with that yarn (I had them try it on without full finishing in case I needed to make any adjustments) and they full on rejected it by saying they didn't like the sparklyness of the yarn.
They touched this yarn and the stellina was very visible. I will never make them something again. I was so taken aback that I told them I had a friend who loves the color and style but I ended up frogging it.
To add some more salt to the wound, I was at a social event with them and some friends a few weeks later and they complained that they didn't get anything for their birthday.
Sigh. I'm just more careful with what I make and who I gift it to. Everything I make is no longer a surprise and the recipients are part of the planning, as much as they wish.
Very frustrating! 🫶🏻
Did you specifically point out that it was the same exact yarn that they had requested? It seems like a deeper conversation could have gotten to the bottom of it.
@@esjaybee5555 Yes, I did, and he repeated that it looked different when knitged up. He's now aware I frogged the project. I decided it wasn't worth a deeper convo and I still agree with that. He's been showing up for me in other ways and I just won't gift him handmade garments.
Thanks for your response. Well now it definitely sounds like you did all you could. I understand now. I just notice in my family situations escalate or turn into unspoken resentments because a lot of my family doesn’t know how to properly communicate and I hate to see that. Again, nice to hear that things worked out. 🙂
I had a sister-in-law request that I make a bag for her similar to but smaller than the one I had made. She even offered to pay for it and asked me several times to make her one. I sent her a text requesting the colors she would like and to discuss what style of handles she would like. She immediately responded "never mind". I felt rejected even before I put all the time in to making the bag! So when I came across this video, I had to watch it! Thanks for sharing your feelings. It helps to know that I am not the only one that takes our craft and gifting personally. I guess I should be glad she rejected it before I put all that time and effort in only to find it someday in thrift shop! lol
Maybe you took too long to make it for her. As she saw it. The 'never mind' response makes me think that. I wouldn't sweat it. Again, at least you didn't go thru with it. It was a blessing in disguise I'm quite sure.
I’ve learned over the years that there will never be as much appreciation for handmade things when the recipient has never made something themselves. That’s not to say they are unaware, but to have true appreciation over the hours spent finding or making a pattern, yarn shopping, then the hours making it, ripping it out for the inevitable error, weaving in ends, washing and blocking, it’s always going to be an under-appreciated art to those that haven’t experienced it, and can certainly make it that much more hurtful.
It’s a hard (yet important) lesson to learn that making and giving is your choice and your control; how they respond, is their choice and their control and it speaks nothing of you or your hard work.
Well said!
This is one of those lessons we all have to learn if we make things. I was similar when I first started - I made lots of things because I wanted to learn new skills and so I had a surplus of stuff I had made and I used to kind of give them away to random-ish people sometimes. Sometimes they were touched and it was well received, but sometimes it was treated just like a cheap storebought item. I made a lot of stuffed animals early on, so it's hard to compete with a Chinese factory and people don't value the time and effort it takes to actually make one. The worst was one I didn't really even want to do. I had made this incredibly complicated knitted zombie doll for my brother for his birthday (which he loved - he was always one of my favorite people to make things for because he was so appreciative), and my ex-husband had a co-worker with a "sick kid" who loved zombies so he convinced me I should make one for her. She was about 11 or 12 years old and had a chronic illness of some kind, so I gave in an said I would make it. At the time, I was not a fast knitter, and the first zombie had taken a solid month of all my spare time, so this was no quick make. It was epic and awesome - I even made it a rat companion. My then husband took it to work with him and I never even heard if the kid liked it. Later on, my ex mentioned that the kid ripped it and they got rid of it, which just burned me so bad. All that time and effort for a kid I never even met just to be tossed like some random cheap toy. I honestly have just blocked it from my mind because it makes me mad to think about even now, lol. So I just embrace that no one will appreciate things I make like I do. I have a few people who are "worthy" of my makes, but most people I know do not get handmade gifts even if they want them. I knitted at a teacher meeting last school year once and one of the other teachers leaned in to my kids' teachers and said, "Oh, I know what you guys will be getting for Christmas this year," and I couldn't tell if they were saying that like it was a good or a bad thing. I did not knit anything for my kids' teachers. The reality is there are many people I'd love to be able to make things for, but I have limited time and lots of things I actually want to make and enjoy myself. We need to just be ok with whatever others may think of us and be happy with our own hobby. lol Anyway - end rant.
I made crochet hat and scarf set for the entire staff at my granddaughter’s school one Christmas, everyone appreciated it except one female , she informed me she does not like handmade stuff and immediately gave it back . I appreciated her giving it back being I put my heart,soul and money into it . Even though I love her dearly and we’re still friends till this day , I never gave her anything else handmade or store brought, I just say Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas.
My own daughter told me she doesn’t like crochet items years ago , now she’s sending me all these images of items to make . I said to her “ I thought you didn’t like crochet items “ she said “ now they are trendy “ . She ordered a Hello Kitty crochet Bikini set and when it arrived it would fit a one month old infant I could not stop laughing , she asked me can I recreate it, I said No!
I can see how frustrating that was!!!! Why is it always the things we don't really want to do, that bite us so hard?!?! I'm with you Meg, there are lots of people I'd love to make things for.....but it's not going to happen!
You're smart not to give that that individual anymore! I think a happy birthday is plenty! That's funny about your daughter !!!
@@ShannonTalksYarn😂😂😂😂
Yes, this has happened to me a couple of times. I've gotten to the point that I've cut back on giving to people that I know I usually give to charity or keep the item myself.
Because I am me, if the cousin had asked me to make something I had already made, I would have told the cousin "Oh, I made you that exact blanket last year" Then I would have watched the face as I swirled my drink with a huge smile on my face.
Right?! That story threw me for such a loop! How are you gonna request something you already got, and clearly didn't care for?? If you want it so much, what the heck did you do with the first one?!
Very bizarre.
No one appreciates something that was free. If you charge $300 for it and sell it to a stranger they’ll think they have something. Your work is beautiful.
@@bohofoto6929 True. If it cost them nothing, to some the worth is nothing.
So not worth your time and money.
Some people reject because they don’t appreciate hand made crafts and what goes into the making, which is sad. My work was rejected before it was even made. My daughter when pregnant told me not to knit any of that handmade stuff so instead I made any clothes and quilts for others. She was really put out when she saw the things I had made. If I know something will be appreciated, I will give to anyone. I make lots of charity stuff for people who have nothing and this is so rewarding.
I hope your daughter was put out. She was extremely rude to have out-right rejected your items in advance, and my reply to her being put out would be - well you did say you didn't want any of that handmade stuff.
I’m not a fiber artist. I’m an illustrator, painter, graphic designer- and I have some advice that someone once gave me that I value greatly and it has really helped me deal with family and friends (and “friends of friends of friends”) who ask me to do a (free) project for them. I let them describe their ideas, then I say “that sounds fabulous! Can you tell me what your budget would be for this project?” Boy does that cut down on the freebies (that aren’t super appreciated by the way, because they didn’t cost them anything)
That’s an amazing way to tackle it!!!
I actually don’t mind when people re-gifts or donate something I gifted them. I just think that if someone else loves it then is serving its purpose. There’s this older lady in my church that always comes with this beautiful crochet shawl, and every time I see it I always think it’s so pretty! And then one day I complimented her and asked her if she made it, and she said that it was thrifted! That years and years ago she saw it at a thrift store and snatched it, and now she wears it to church all the time! And she is the sweetest lady. I’m sure the person that crocheted it would of been so happy to see their creation being loved and treasured! But I understand it can be disheartening to see a handmade gift being thrown away or not appreciated.
I crochet, knit and make blankets for charity. I have never had anything rejected. They act like I'm giving them a million dollars. It makes me want to do it more.
That’s awesome!
@cyndeefoley7045 I don't make anything for family mainly bc they're clueless about what goes into it.
I make prayer shawls now & only give to select people. I gave my last shawl to a lady who had a stroke & is fighting her way back just the other day. She hugged me & started crying..she told me she wished someone would make her one & I said, I know, the shawl told me. I'm going to give my nephew's family one more try & make them the Alaska hats for Christmas. We'll see how it goes.
I mean a handmade blanket is about the sweetest you can gift to someone, I’m glad you’re being appreciated to the appropriate degree! 🩵
@@cyndeefoley7045 Family is very different. Unfortunately.
That’s a great way to do it. I used to make baby blankets for charity and it was such a joyful process. Making things for friends and family is tough because mine are more affluent so see it as something they could just buy.
I actually have a very touching rejection story. When my sons were in middle school, I crocheted them, and my husband each a scarf/hat set in their favorite colors. My oldest son got his stolen in high school, and after a couple of years, I made him adult sized scarf and hat. My husband has worn his scarf and hat so much that it's starting to wear out, so I'm going to have to make him another set soon. I have offered, several times, to make a more grown-up scarf and hat for my youngest son, who is now an adult, but he has consistently rejected my offer. He explains each time that the set I made him still fits, and he likes what I originally made him, he doesn't need another set. It's true, he still wears them to this day. He did ask me to make him a set of fingerless gloves for work, which I did. He did buy the yarn used, but I didn't charge him for my time... I was happy to do it for him.
❤️❤️❤️
I'm sorry to hear that your oldest son's set was stolen, but at the same time, I'm hoping that was someone who really needed it, and could definitely appreciate it.
I was so crushed when I knit both my aunt and my father socks only to find out later my dad‘s never left his car and when it was my birthday, my aunt made some weird comment about how I never got her anything for hers.. I don’t know if she forgot or just didn’t count the socks that I spent so many hours working on….so frustrating
That is so similar to how I felt!
I made a very close family member a top for a cruise for this summer. The cruise has come and gone…still has not worn the top…not even on the cruise!!! I was hurt!!! Will I make them anything else…NO!!! You live and hopefully you learn!!!
I’ve also been hurt by a gift i gave someone that completely went unacknowledged and I’ve been guilty of making gifts for coworkers who may or may not appreciate them. You gave really great advice on how to shift my focus back to the things that will be pleasing to me. Thank you
You're welcome! hope it helps :)
I love your method because honestly, I find the same thing, nobody appreciates what I give them. I'm just going to make stuff I like from now on. I'm on a dishcloth binge right now and frankly I'm ok with it!
Exactly!
My old neighbor, a very nice lady who actually taught me to crochet, gifted me a crocheted hat. It is so fluffy, that it is more funny, than pretty, but I love it so much. Once she saw me wearing it outside and told me, that she had made her grandkids the hat too for Christmas. Apparently they laughed at it and never wore it and you could see, that she was sad about it. That made me so sad too…since then I make sure to wear it every time, when I am around my old neighborhood (I have a few winter hats). Even though you actually don’t like a present…I think it is the least to appreciate the thought and - in case it is handcrafted - the work they put in!
I once recoeved a small painting with the works “ ånd you dont like it, i want it back”. I think that was cool. I liked it and it still hangs on my wall
Excellent topic, Shannon! I know what it feels like on both sides - having my handwork disrespected (huge blanket, expensive materials, countless hours... given to the dog) and being given handmade pieces I have no place for. I would hate for folks to feel like they *had* to keep something I made *just* because I made it. Imagine if we kept every piece of art our children ever made! I try now to communicate with folks, especially when it's a surprise gift, that they don't have to hang onto it for fear of hurting me or offending me. The joy for me was in thinking of them and creating the thing. 💗💗
Very wise words, my friend!
That is the best attitude to have.
Someone asked me to make baby clothes and blankets for her baby. I made so much for her including one from the yarn given to me by the babies late great grandmother. She put one cardigan on the baby and donated everything else. It hurt so now I am a bit reluctant to gift to her now.
If they asked you and have you yarn from the baby's great grandma, it sounds like they really wanted the items! But some babies come out big, and need a 3 month size after only one month, and have already outgrown newborn size when they get here, and then some babies come out small/premie so although the clothes will eventually fit, it will be the wrong season to wear them. Etc. Plus sometimes parents just end up much more overwhelmed than they'd expected. Plus babies, especially first babies, get a LOT of stuff, so they can't keep up with everything (including photos of everything), but on the other hand, babies go through a lot of clothes in a day too, so it might just mean that they weren't wearing your things when they were photographed. All of which to say, the token photo doesn't mean they weren't appreciated. (I know from my sister and brother in law that even doing that token photo individually for every relative and friend who sent them something was still a lot, when there's stuff all over the place and nothing with it's gift tag and the baby shower was a month ago and you've been through major physical and emotional trauma since then and you've also only slept 3 hours in the last 2 days and none of that was more than 20 minutes at a time. The chances of even remembering who things are from to do that token photo when both the baby and at least one parent are in a relatively good mood, is pretty low. Etc. They still loved the gifts.)
Hi Shannon. I just joined your channel. I can't believe I found someone that said just what I think. I was gifting projects to family members, but realized they don't really appreciate them. I have given my grandkids many beanies, but when I saw pictures of them in the snow they were wearing store bought beanies 😔I, like you, have started to make things for myself. I am a fairly talented knitter and crocheter and I don't feel the need to make things for people that don't appreciate them. Whew, I finally got that off my chest 😅
Hello and welcome! 🤗
Two peas in a pod!!!
In 2022, my sister asked me to make blanket for a baby, who was to be born in the months to follow. She wanted to pick out yarn, and so I had her do that. I didn't have a lot of time, so I did it as fast as I could. It turned out very nice.
It took her forever to pay and longer to come get it. The baby had been born for a couple of months by that point. Later, I was visiting her. I saw that her dog was sleeping on it. It sort of hurt, because if she had an issue, she could have said something early on. Then, I thought, it's her blanket. I mentioned it to a family member in passing, and that person told my sister I was upset. I wasn't upset by that point. My sister told this family member that the dog really liked it and had lay down on it when she brought it inside. I figured, "Oh well."
In a way, it's a compliment. Having said that, I will never work for family again. If I do, they will pay top dollar. They never appreciate what I do. I'd rather hand work to a stranger.
I've pretty much quit making things for other people. In my experience, most people don't want or appreciate or even like handmade gifts. Now I make stuff for myself, or sell it on my Etsy shop.
I have found that many people that don’t make things themselves, have no idea how much time, effort or money goes into items we make! That makes it hard for them to appreciate them!
I’m with you, once I give it away, it is no longer my concern. I hope they like it and cherish it, but if they don’t that is their choice. I get joy from making it and from giving it away.
Okay now I’ve got to add this. Shannon take it from a former “people pleaser”, the older you get the less you care! I feel no shame about making things just for myself.
Absolutely 💯
I'm getting there, slowly but surely!! Thank you for the encouragement! ❤
My real joy comes from making things for charity like blankets for Ronald McDonald House. (One time I even saw one of my blankets being used by a family when I was shopping at Lowes. That made my day.) I once made a large thread doily for a wedding present and never even got a thank you. (They divorced a year later lol.) You really have to be careful who you put your time and talent into. It's hard not to take it personally. I know which of my family members love to get crochet or knit items. Some people love crochet and needlework but others do not care for it. The advantage of giving to charity is that you know people can get something both that they need and that they like. Just my experience!
I agree, charity work totally seems like the right way to go, when gifting items! Sorry to hear about that wedding present tho!
I have made blankets for my immediate family and that’s it. The rest of my crochet is donated to charities like the Linus Project. I find people just don’t appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. The same goes for any crafts now. I just make things for me.
From a family with a child with disabilities who has stayed at Ronald Mcdonald house, thank you. The gifts we received were so appreciated.
I crochet & ship hats, fingerless gloves, mittens, scarves, cowls etc to children in a tribe up north. They are greatly appreciated, used, worn - and I get such earth responses!! They ask me to make specific ones with different colors or yarns, etc and I try to accommodate!
I only make things for immediate family, or if they ask for something for a close friend I will; nothing too elaborate any more, easy quick and simple (unless a special gift my daughter or Granddaughter asks for as a gift to a close friend), they are appreciated.
I also make bath mitts & wash cloths as gifts.
It really hurts when they make a scene acting embarrassed and immediately hiding it right in front of me! When I knew it was beautiful. A purse made from felted yarn with fabric lining with zipped pockets. Very professional.
I'm not stupid, I know it was good. It was an intentional dig! Then she made a scene out of taking the paintings I had given her over the years and putting them in a yard sale for me to see. After stealing my inheritance!
Thanks for posting this!
I struggled with this, too, never feeling my gifts were appreciated. After crocheting numerous afghans and such at my cost for family, I decided to crochet for charity. Now I feel especially good about doing my craft and giving back.
When my dad was dealing with cancer i didn't have a lot of money, but i did have a lot of yarn. i crocheted him a lap afghan and sent it to him, i hoped it would provide a little comfort. later, when he was terminal and we were dealing his house, i found the box with the afghan and he just opened a corner and left it in there. still hurts a bit but it's ok. on the other hand, i knitted my son a scrap blanket and i saw it in pics he sent later. and other people have said my fair isle knitting is a work of art. so ?? i kinda think it depends how appreciative a person is, which has nothing to do with us, really.
I agree!
I love fairisle but don't know how goes to do it.
I once gave a crochet blanket to a relative and when I visited her, I saw it in their dogs bed. What a bummer. 😢
@@diannehenningsgard1692 Lol. Same thing happened to me. Luckily, I really love the dog and I was glad to see her lying on it.
Oh no!
I can totally relate to this. Including the guilt of making pieces just for yourself. It sounds selfish but it actually gives you the peace of mind that the only person that will be grateful and impressed with your skills is first and foremost you and that is enough
Don't feel guilty.😢 Not only are you enjoying yourself but you are bringing beauty to the world, as each new person sees you wear it AND you are not supporting fast fashion with that item. You have something unique, like a kilt or a barong or any traditional garment shows a person's tribe. You can distinguish yourself against the greige (mass produced) even if your colors are greige (grey/beige)!
I slaved to make my mom 4 amigurumi pumpkins with real sticks as the stems for Halloween after only being a crocheter for 4 months at that point. I actually did a pretty good job and I really really liked making them. They are currently sitting in the basement with the stems broken off, flung into a corner. But then I made her a couple amigurumi birds and stuff and she loves those. They’re in her room.. but I don’t know, something about her rejecting my pumpkins was really hard. And to make matters worse, my grandma requested that I make her a pumpkin and my mom kind of just blew it off and said that she could just give her one of the ones I made her to give to Grandma instead of just making her her own.. I begged her not to and was really sad as to why she would want to do that. so she not only completely rejected them. She tried to pawn them off on someone else.. I ended up giving my grandma a pumpkin, yes, one of the ones I made my mom and a couple months later my grandma died. She really loved my pumpkins.. way more than my mom did..
heartbreaking
I could not reject a homemade gift in anyway. As a crocheter, even if I hated it, I’d still be so appreciative. I know the time it takes, and wow this person thought of me!
One thing not mentioned is when a maker passes on.... I had not considered this either until my mother-in-law passed about 2 years ago. She was a master knitter and there were several closets and a huge room in her house filled with yarn, tools, fabric, machines etc. We gave away as much yarn as we could to friends and family who had a use for it. She also had about 250 completed items (sweaters, blankets, shawls) that she left behind, all beautifully made. We gave away most of these on a local give away / take away exchange in our small town and people I spoke to were so grateful. And so, all of these lovely things are out there in the world and who knows where they may end up.
That is such a beautiful was to pass on those blessings one last time ❤️
I Shannon! I have learned through the years of crocheting, there are people worthy of handmade crochet and people who are not. If someone asks me to make them something, I give them a price and if they decide not to purchase then I don’t have to worry about wasting my time. I actually prefer to make for myself and like you said, I have some very nice pieces in my wardrobe. When I’m bored of my own stuff, I either put in the thrift store or give away, then I just let it go. Great video
Great point of view! I love it!