I am experiencing the same thing, but taking opposite action towards it, i am tired of people not understanding who i am, so i try to be as honest with everyone that i appreciate as i can
Oh definitely be honest with people!!! I am doing the same, I am 100% the real me and I will voice my feelings and thoughts but I don't share my business with everyone, I've learned the hard way that people can't necessarily be trusted and it can clap back big time. It's just not worth it people can know about things after they happened but buy giving people full access to your thoughts will backfire most of the time...
@@PearlZoey This is a very long talk, but i will try to share what i think. You said you end up with some people perceiving you in a different way from what you really are. And so do i. This is quite a popular example, but i surely experienced it, i am quite a socially anxious person, so some people that i do not share my full thoughts with end up perceiving me introverted, cold hearted, not liking them, sometimes even confident which is like the exact opposite from what i experience right. And what i am saying is you said you have 1 person that truly knows you, i think i have none, like not a single damn person, and this all seems like a quick way to loneliness you know. Also you might be not confident because you have things to hide from others. There are different kinds of confident people, but the truly confident ones to me are the ones that have nothing left to hide
@@csjeo I agree with what you're saying. I have felt this way in the past... I think having this 1 person who knows me inside and out and all about my business truly helped me understand that I can be a private yet confident person. I am not trying to hide the person I am, I am protecting myself tho. If someone asks me something, I dont hold back these days but I don't share things just so I seem interesting or to have something to share (Idk if that makes sense, it definitely makes sense in my head, lol)
@@PearlZoey Sure does make sense, neither did i start telling people that i do not know myself more, but i told my friend group that i never been quite as honest with them as i would want to be now, you know and most of them told me the same. You not always quite realize that, but in the right relationship it is never like you tell them nothing they tell you all, you both always have to remain at the same level of sharing kinda balancing it so you both feel comfortable. Also sharing is like real important because i myself am figuring out who i am from my closest peoples perception
@@csjeo thank you so much for sharing this with me, it truly means a lot. and I am so happy that you got to tell your friend group that and that they felt similar about it. This truly shows the power of speaking up and communicating! I think the more I worked on myself, unhealed trauma, etc. the more I came to the realisation that communication truly is so important especially when you care about someone.
It's weird knowing some people don't do this. I really thought everyone knew this. All my friends like to be vulnerable around me and tell me all their secrets and plans for the future. YET they know absolutely nothing about me.
Yeah I do this, more so to my family, I’m like 30% with them and 50% with strangers which i observe is a safety mechanism. But I get what you mean you’re not trying to be best friends with everyone. I’d feel too exposed, i guess. “Tell no one your plans, and you will not be laughed at if you fail.” “Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” Selective Vulnerability.
Yes omg exactly. I am way more open with strangers too. It's because our brain feels least judged by someone we most likely will never see again. Definitely agree with everything you say.
@@PearlZoey So true!! Same. Thankyou for posting your video 💕 (After reading the comments this analogy came to mind. it feels like playing chess and speaking of our true desires feels like telling the opponent what action your gonna take next so that they can counter it. With this thought it only applies to people who are busy projecting their shadow onto you, that they feel your success is their loss.)
i also did this without knowing it and sometimes i'll just make a reference to something that happened in my life (for example being adopted) and people whom i've known for years will be like "wait, you're adopted?" it's funny.
We all should live fake lives and hide our goals and the reason is so others can't manipulate our path with their "negative energy". Did I understand correctly? Girl you need some therapy. You can say what you want on youtube but this is honestly not good life advice and some people will listen to that advice and ruin their lives. We need to be more open hearted and inspire people with our goals. No need to hide your good intentions ❤
I am experiencing the same thing, but taking opposite action towards it, i am tired of people not understanding who i am, so i try to be as honest with everyone that i appreciate as i can
Oh definitely be honest with people!!! I am doing the same, I am 100% the real me and I will voice my feelings and thoughts but I don't share my business with everyone, I've learned the hard way that people can't necessarily be trusted and it can clap back big time. It's just not worth it people can know about things after they happened but buy giving people full access to your thoughts will backfire most of the time...
@@PearlZoey This is a very long talk, but i will try to share what i think. You said you end up with some people perceiving you in a different way from what you really are. And so do i. This is quite a popular example, but i surely experienced it, i am quite a socially anxious person, so some people that i do not share my full thoughts with end up perceiving me introverted, cold hearted, not liking them, sometimes even confident which is like the exact opposite from what i experience right. And what i am saying is you said you have 1 person that truly knows you, i think i have none, like not a single damn person, and this all seems like a quick way to loneliness you know. Also you might be not confident because you have things to hide from others. There are different kinds of confident people, but the truly confident ones to me are the ones that have nothing left to hide
@@csjeo I agree with what you're saying. I have felt this way in the past... I think having this 1 person who knows me inside and out and all about my business truly helped me understand that I can be a private yet confident person. I am not trying to hide the person I am, I am protecting myself tho. If someone asks me something, I dont hold back these days but I don't share things just so I seem interesting or to have something to share (Idk if that makes sense, it definitely makes sense in my head, lol)
@@PearlZoey Sure does make sense, neither did i start telling people that i do not know myself more, but i told my friend group that i never been quite as honest with them as i would want to be now, you know and most of them told me the same. You not always quite realize that, but in the right relationship it is never like you tell them nothing they tell you all, you both always have to remain at the same level of sharing kinda balancing it so you both feel comfortable. Also sharing is like real important because i myself am figuring out who i am from my closest peoples perception
@@csjeo thank you so much for sharing this with me, it truly means a lot. and I am so happy that you got to tell your friend group that and that they felt similar about it. This truly shows the power of speaking up and communicating! I think the more I worked on myself, unhealed trauma, etc. the more I came to the realisation that communication truly is so important especially when you care about someone.
It's weird knowing some people don't do this. I really thought everyone knew this. All my friends like to be vulnerable around me and tell me all their secrets and plans for the future. YET they know absolutely nothing about me.
Ikr, I always think about that tbh. Felt like it was a universal thing, apparently it isn't
Yeah I do this, more so to my family, I’m like 30% with them and 50% with strangers which i observe is a safety mechanism. But I get what you mean you’re not trying to be best friends with everyone. I’d feel too exposed, i guess. “Tell no one your plans, and you will not be laughed at if you fail.” “Don’t waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” Selective Vulnerability.
Yes omg exactly. I am way more open with strangers too. It's because our brain feels least judged by someone we most likely will never see again. Definitely agree with everything you say.
@@PearlZoey So true!! Same. Thankyou for posting your video 💕
(After reading the comments this analogy came to mind. it feels like playing chess and speaking of our true desires feels like telling the opponent what action your gonna take next so that they can counter it. With this thought it only applies to people who are busy projecting their shadow onto you, that they feel your success is their loss.)
i also did this without knowing it and sometimes i'll just make a reference to something that happened in my life (for example being adopted) and people whom i've known for years will be like "wait, you're adopted?" it's funny.
See, it's mad interesting. Just stepping away for a second and looking at the things we say and do from a different perspective can do so much!
We all should live fake lives and hide our goals and the reason is so others can't manipulate our path with their "negative energy". Did I understand correctly? Girl you need some therapy.
You can say what you want on youtube but this is honestly not good life advice and some people will listen to that advice and ruin their lives. We need to be more open hearted and inspire people with our goals. No need to hide your good intentions ❤
@@wigman1962 no one said anything about living fake lives and hiding our goals. But go on. 😅
is this not manipulating people though?
man I have schizotypal personality disorder, manipulating people is my whole existence. You’re at the kindergarten level of this
Don't think it has anything to do with manipulating but rather looking out for yourself and your own well being
edgy
Ur so cool
Some people just read your body language 😂
Hmm.... Interesting.... What do you think of me from what you can see?
jfl I can't