Therapist Breaks Down Love Is Blind's Paul & Micah | Who is Micah, really?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 487

  • @lanemiller9505
    @lanemiller9505 ปีที่แล้ว +1882

    The minute I heard Micah say ‘I’m an empath’ I knew she was going to be a lot of drama.

    • @acd1168
      @acd1168 ปีที่แล้ว

      She meant “psychopath.” Because that’s what she is 🙄

    • @mickal777
      @mickal777 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Why?

    • @ashleyb6528
      @ashleyb6528 ปีที่แล้ว +172

      ​@Micka L if they have to tell you they are an empath... they really aren't.

    • @x.HoneyBea.x
      @x.HoneyBea.x ปีที่แล้ว +151

      ​@@mickal777every time someone says they're an empath, especially on reality tv they turn out to be a really rude and self centered person. It's been a trend so much that people noticed it and turned it into a meme

    • @InThisEssayIWill...
      @InThisEssayIWill... ปีที่แล้ว +80

      Same. I literally rolled my eyes so hard when she said that.. it's a show don't tell sort of skill, think of the incels that are 'stuck' being the 'nice guys' only... They aren't actually nice . Same energy.

  • @glowingmyway
    @glowingmyway ปีที่แล้ว +1439

    Micah came off as lacking self awareness, no emotional intelligence, and not knowing what she wants. I don’t think she wanted Paul, she just wanted him to want her. So when he said No, it was a blow to her ego.

    • @manda.watching.YouTube
      @manda.watching.YouTube ปีที่แล้ว +36

      100% agree

    • @smartmarketing173
      @smartmarketing173 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Yep. She wants to be wanted and she wants to win.

    • @ac70998
      @ac70998 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Just see what kinda friends she is surrounded by... all mean/self-centered girls. Btw why Vanessa is still hosting the show???

    • @TheGabztron
      @TheGabztron 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      100 percent!

    • @chriskvande8900
      @chriskvande8900 หลายเดือนก่อน

      right on :)

  • @Nani.101
    @Nani.101 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    Micah's friend group gives college sorority sisters who really hate each other but decided to stay friends for some reason

  • @NoviLeigh
    @NoviLeigh ปีที่แล้ว +288

    I don’t even think Micah wanted Kwame. Him handling the rejection so well (at least to her face) was damaging to her ego and she was flirting to try and get some confirmation that she could’ve had him back if she wanted to.

    • @leed4212
      @leed4212 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Corrreeeeect. She even insinuated to Irina after the breakup with Kwame that she thought his reaction was “weird”. Like she expected (hoped??) he’d be more upset. Manipulative.

    • @smallberrystyle4607
      @smallberrystyle4607 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      yep. and i also absolutely do not believe she'd have said yes to Paul if he said yes. I think she just didn't want to be the one to be the "mean one" to dump him at the altar and was hoping/knew he would say no for her so she could be the victim.

    • @ginaphillips6857
      @ginaphillips6857 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      💯! Well said!

  • @shaxnerd418
    @shaxnerd418 ปีที่แล้ว +752

    To me, Micah came across as a former high school mean girl who never fully grew out of that kind of social structure. She’s smart enough to figure out when and where to turn on the mean and how to project “nice.” But ultimately, it’s all an act with her.

    • @uniquemosdef
      @uniquemosdef ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This!!

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly ปีที่แล้ว +51

      I agree with the first part, but to me it seemed like she's the kind of person who had the capacity, and maybe even the desire, to break out of that and change. She seemed to mature a lot around Paul, but I don't think it'd be a lasting change as long as she continued to surround herself with those kinds of friends. They were horrific!

    • @bluebutterfly5062
      @bluebutterfly5062 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@vanyadolly I think that's what the second half of this comment means though. What you said about her being more mature around Paul may be true, but it is an act because it's not real development. She's changing for the ppl around her to get them to like her

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@bluebutterfly5062 I'm just saying it can come from a legitimate desire and ability to be better rather than conscious manipulation.
      Some people have this issue with mirroring and they have less control over it than one might think. You have to do your best to surround yourself with people who aren't trash. Like her friends clearly are.

    • @Miranda-gi9fx
      @Miranda-gi9fx ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@vanyadolly She chose her friends and she mirrors them, which makes her trash too. She's responsible for her actions.

  • @dct90210
    @dct90210 ปีที่แล้ว +947

    I think when Micah said she was an empath, she meant she emulates people that she's around. Around Paul she's more laid back and with Irena she leaned into that mean girl thing. She's not an empath she just goes with the flow

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  ปีที่แล้ว +334

      Now this is an interesting take!

    • @katm7255
      @katm7255 ปีที่แล้ว +304

      @@StephAnya she mirrors. She confuses that with being empathetic.

    • @poppymagpie309
      @poppymagpie309 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Chameleon

    • @doyoufeardeath666
      @doyoufeardeath666 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      She did also say at the same time that she feeds of other people's energy.. That's probably why she enjoys getting reactions out of others..

    • @hurlscoutss
      @hurlscoutss ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Wow, you just articulated this perfectly. So many people confuse the two, I think it's actually a thin line. I can think of times sometimes when I think I'm being empathetic but actually I'm just mirroring. Lots to think about, thanks! 🩷

  • @Pipdippy
    @Pipdippy ปีที่แล้ว +937

    I wish you had touched upon those many moments of Micah dissing Paul. She made many snide comments about the way he dressed, his home decor, the way that he spoke, etc. I think I remember her saying something like “I wish I didn’t have to defend Paul” (to her friends I’m assuming) and that just rubbed me the wrong way.
    You’re dating the nerdy scientist guy and you’re mad that he dresses and acts like… a nerdy scientist?

    • @brylaw
      @brylaw ปีที่แล้ว +148

      Hard agree! I felt like she was a bit of a bully to him, albeit shielded by 'humor,' and I wouldn't want to parent with someone presenting those characteristics either.

    • @x.HoneyBea.x
      @x.HoneyBea.x ปีที่แล้ว +26

      ​@@brylawright, like what if she started making those comments about her kids too

    • @javanjunkindahouse6625
      @javanjunkindahouse6625 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Yes and she also credited herself with some of his new wardrobe - (he’s dressing better because of me, I’m helping him)

    • @oksanaml9279
      @oksanaml9279 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Yeah, one of her bridesmaids in the bridal suite said, don't even get me started on his fashion sense, and Micah laughed.

    • @ApequH
      @ApequH ปีที่แล้ว +29

      While he dresses just fine, it's just not her style. Her shitting on his home decor was just painful. Especially because it looks like he did put effort into that space. She's not even considering living there for a while

  • @antoinettekminor
    @antoinettekminor ปีที่แล้ว +743

    I really hated how Paul was made to be a villain for his mothering comment. It’s such a valid reason to not marry someone if you do not see them as being the mother or father to your future child.

    • @veero8130
      @veero8130 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      100% agree

    • @jollymollyramram9702
      @jollymollyramram9702 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      It’s a pretty hurtful thing to say to someone you don’t want to be with. “I’m just not feeling you and this relationship” would’ve been enough. Closure is overrated and brutal honesty is rarely perceived as honesty but usually only “brutal”

    • @NewCreationInChrist896
      @NewCreationInChrist896 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      It’s probably his way of saying she has more growing up to do before becoming a parent, he might’ve also felt the same way about himself. They both were in competitive mode, for Kwame and Chelsea. Paul was competing with Kwame for Micah, and Micah was competing with Chelsea for Kwame. Irina was in competitive mode as well in general. “Twenty year olds, good tv” lol, still maturing.

    • @sunnyrayavarapu3068
      @sunnyrayavarapu3068 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I think it's just a cruel thing to say about someone. Also a bit sexist.

    • @antoinettekminor
      @antoinettekminor ปีที่แล้ว +54

      @@sunnyrayavarapu3068 I don’t think it’s sexist at all. I would not have chosen my husband if I didn’t think he would be a good father. I also know he would not have chosen me if he didn’t see me as a good mother. We had this convo before marriage. So it goes both ways and I think the lack of honesty and feeling protection is why women mostly end up with husbands who weaponize incompetence when it comes to fatherhood. We have to wake up and stop using just “love” and “getting along” as a reason to partner with people and have children. Being a nice person doesn’t cut it when you’re not on the same page with something as serious as parenthood.

  • @MoonBunny69
    @MoonBunny69 ปีที่แล้ว +306

    As far as Micah and Irina.... it makes sense. Irina was probably bullied by girls like Micah so now that a person like Micah wants to be her friend, it was like she was finally getting what she wanted in hs (acceptance).

    • @bluebutterfly5062
      @bluebutterfly5062 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Good point.
      Many people are like this--they were obviously outcasts at one point, so they change themselves to fit in and become the very bully they hated in the first place

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Ooh good point

    • @bachopinbee5991
      @bachopinbee5991 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This comment is gold❤❤❤

    • @j.kristineemmons
      @j.kristineemmons 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nah, I see them as the same exact insecure girl

    • @kellyhayden7244
      @kellyhayden7244 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yesss, wow, hadn't thought of that!

  • @yourstrulykeren
    @yourstrulykeren ปีที่แล้ว +239

    I think it’s weird that Paul got a lot of heat for the whole mother comment. I think it’s a fair reason to walk away from a relationship especially one where the goal was marriage. I mean isn’t that one of the things we look out for? Maybe he did see some of the weird mean girl behavior and thought, I don’t think she’s the type of role model I want for my children.

    • @geewilakers5229
      @geewilakers5229 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      I completely agree. Seems pretty obvious she wouldn’t be a good role model for kids if she acted like she did with Irina, Kwame, etc. Didn’t think Paul’s comment was gratuitously mean, just truthful.

    • @annah995
      @annah995 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I totally get what he meant. I had a boyfriend I really liked but he didn't have any nurturing nature to him and I really missed that, not even because of kids in the future, just in the relationship.

    • @saraseehusen5218
      @saraseehusen5218 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I complete agree! I’m pretty sure he said that HE couldn’t see, as in visualize, her being a mother. Not that she was physical incapable of being one or wouldn’t be a mother or a good one. I think the main issue was not expressing his concern before the alter, but based on the rushed timeline and the stress of the situation it still makes sense to me even as a woman

    • @TheSuperNats
      @TheSuperNats ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I absolutely agree. It is so important for people to be intentionally about their partner in the scope of being a parent. People took it personally and were very reactive, but it’s a good thing that he is considering that. Too many people don’t.

    • @phlexcrew
      @phlexcrew ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Vanessa is the classic Hollywood liberal feminist. Picking the woman’s side no matter what because all men are pigs or something. she did the EXACT same thing with cole and Zanab last season. Zanab was clearly the bad person, huge narcissist, exaggerated stories for her benefit, straight up lied, and Vanessa still took her side. It’s literally as if we watching the same show but from different realities. it made my blood boil at how clueless Vanessa was through the entire show and would just join the woman’s side no matter what… I dead ass wouldn’t be at all surprised if she supports Amber Herd over Johnny Depp at this point

  • @glittrgirl
    @glittrgirl ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I think Micah didn't know what she was going to say at the altar and preferred to be the victim rather than the villain, so she wanted Paul to answer first. And let's not forget that moments before, Paul's mom said to him (regarding his own decision) "anything but a yes is a no," so when Micah didn't give an answer, I can understand why that alone might make him say no

  • @smartmarketing173
    @smartmarketing173 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    Micah refusing to affirm and validate men, but insisting they do it for her- and them being ok with that- is wild to me!

  • @PAHGirly
    @PAHGirly ปีที่แล้ว +382

    I need you to talk about Vanessa specifically at the reunion lol

    • @NDObeats
      @NDObeats ปีที่แล้ว +31

      She does more in the Marshall and Jackie video

    • @unicornL
      @unicornL ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Good God that was a mess

    • @kbutler917
      @kbutler917 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I agree we need a video of just Vanessa

    • @nostalgiagatuna
      @nostalgiagatuna 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      So tired of her bs

  • @AshDawn
    @AshDawn ปีที่แล้ว +349

    I know people said it's boring to analyze the healthy couples of the show, but i think talking about them and showcasing why they are healthy and aspects of it would be very nice to see, so i think you should do an episode on Tiffany and Brett.

    • @Innerspace.Explorer
      @Innerspace.Explorer ปีที่แล้ว +31

      THIS!!! We keep giving so much airtime to the unhealthy dynamics, forgetting the displays of healthy love which could have so much worthwhile content for us to analyse. I really hope we see an episode about Brett and Tiffany.

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree!

    • @PatriceVC31
      @PatriceVC31 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      AGREED!!!!!!!!!

    • @TaebbO4
      @TaebbO4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What we saw between them was healthy, but that scene that showed how he reacted about the wrong sized pants was a big red flag. She will definitely see more of that in the relationship. I wonder how this youtuber thought of it

    • @Out_on_a_Limb_Life
      @Out_on_a_Limb_Life 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@TaebbO4 What was wrong with the way he reacted to his pants not fitting?? He was bothered by it, he got it fixed. How would one of the brides deal with finding that their dress fitted horribly an hour before their wedding?

  • @AnimalsDressedasHumans
    @AnimalsDressedasHumans ปีที่แล้ว +185

    I think Paul experienced too much Drunk Micah and observed her choice of toxic friends. It was a combination of little things that made him question whether she was anywhere near ready to be a wife, let alone a mom. He’s probably holding back to protect her from the wrath of the internet. It had to be horrible to hear, so I did feel for Micah a bit.

    • @BitsyGem
      @BitsyGem ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Let it out Paul! We all know how she is!

  • @ericarobinson1845
    @ericarobinson1845 ปีที่แล้ว +244

    Finally!!!! I’m so relieved and happy to hear someone call out Micah for her manipulative behavior, inappropriate flirting, and her negative “friend”Kelsey. I was so frustrated watching the Reunion because Vanessa was sympathetic towards her without questioning her mean girl actions. Paul wasn’t perfect, but Vanessa was so mean to him and appeared to side with Micah without holding her accountable. Micah was incredibly inappropriate and this should’ve been talked about more than Paul’s stupid comment about her ability to be a mother. It was bad, but Micah did so much more worse throughout the entire series. Also, I felt Kelsey was most likely very jealous of Micah and this could be why there was no real reason she could give for why Paul wasn’t the guy for her. And also how rude and disrespectful when she laughed at the wedding when Micah was rejected! She is a horrible friend to Micah.

    • @Rosyandguildy
      @Rosyandguildy ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Vanessa annoyed me so much! So clearly biased towards the girls

    • @Varphi_
      @Varphi_ ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@Rosyandguildy in every season too!!! Her performance with Jackie and also Zenab is exactly probly what got them fired off the show. Horrendous

    • @automaticcaptions
      @automaticcaptions 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Varphi_they aren’t fired?

  • @manda.watching.YouTube
    @manda.watching.YouTube ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I feel like real empaths don’t talk about being an empath.

    • @cardamom3804
      @cardamom3804 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Exactly. A true empath doesn’t need to say that upfront because it naturally comes out in how they relate.

  • @Grace_Zandile97
    @Grace_Zandile97 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I found it intriguing that Paul appeared unaffected by Michah's flirtatious behavior towards Kwame, even after it was openly discussed during the reunion.

  • @indrathesjw
    @indrathesjw ปีที่แล้ว +277

    When Steph was making fun of Paul’s mumbling when breaking up with Amber like ““well…I uh” WHAT??” I cried

    • @TheGracefulGlowup
      @TheGracefulGlowup ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😂😂😂same

    • @edgekushed2551
      @edgekushed2551 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I saw this comment after watching the whole video, and i had to go back and watch it again, i rewinded and landed exactly on the scene. Golden 😅😂😂👌🏾

  • @PhreeSoul
    @PhreeSoul ปีที่แล้ว +119

    Micah is the typical popular girl, who has learned to say all the socially acceptable phrases that popular girls say.
    She is also a social chameleon, laughing at others behind their backs with the mean girls but also judging the mean girls behind their backs as well. Always agreeing with and molding her thoughts to agree with her current company.
    That means she is not reliable, she lacks loyalty and that makes her flakey and shallow.

  • @heezypeasy8611
    @heezypeasy8611 ปีที่แล้ว +100

    Micah is delusional if she really thinks she surrounds herself with genuine ppl. Shelby is not her friend. You pretty much said everything I've been thinking, Steph! Love your videos so much!

  • @gabbyrodriguez8977
    @gabbyrodriguez8977 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    I can’t see Micah as a nurturing mother either.

  • @yakino3697
    @yakino3697 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    YES! The moment they both agreed to be with each other because they felt threatened to loose the upper hand in the game, I knew there was no way this relationship would’ve last long-term.

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly ปีที่แล้ว +3

      TBH I don't think choosing a partner who has the same kind of emotional hangups as you is necessarily a bad thing. I think they *were* able to connect with each other on that level. Probably one of the few things that made them work at all.

    • @justjustjusification
      @justjustjusification ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah, when proposal was accepted neither of them looked truly happy or excited. More like "so this is done"

    • @Miranda-gi9fx
      @Miranda-gi9fx ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@vanyadolly But they did not work well...

    • @meowJACK
      @meowJACK ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​​@@vanyadolly nah... I don't think agreeing to marry someone based off of nothing other than some vague "similar emotional hangups" leads to actual good relationships at all. And the relationship we're discussing only serves as evidence - they did NOT work at all. Dating for a few weeks without kílling eachother doesn't mean the relationship "worked" lmfao

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@meowJACK I'm not saying that at all. Just that being on a similar level as to how emotionally open they are isn't necessarily a bad thing. People can really get on each other's nerves if one wants more than the other can give. But like I said, they had a bunch of other issues
      But I think OP either edited their post or I responded to the wrong one lol.

  • @frankensteinlives
    @frankensteinlives ปีที่แล้ว +229

    I appreciate you making the distinction between the actual people and what we see on the show, it's so easy to judge people on reality TV but we can never really know anyone through the editing.

  • @maricamp1833
    @maricamp1833 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    I’m not a Paul fan but I think Steph was much kinder to Micah than I woulda been. Granted I’m not a licensed therapist but she came off to me as extremely manipulative. The good girl/mean girl change to me was manipulation. Irina was not a good person but Micah was definitely manipulating her. She was manipulating kwame with her flirting. And seeing what type of friends she has it’s obvious to me that power and manipulation is what she values. Her friends are just like her.

  • @michaelc1626
    @michaelc1626 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    I don't believe that Micah was going to say yes...I think she punted to Paul because she thought he would say no, and she wanted to look like the victim

  • @dearmakeupdiary
    @dearmakeupdiary ปีที่แล้ว +63

    It seemed to me she wanted to boicot Kwame and Chelsea’s relationship just for fun and reassurance (I could have him if I wanted to). She wants to feel she’s the queen of winning in every situation and that she’s got full control. “I get what I want”, that’s her apparent motto. She needed to be confronted about that evil behavior of hers during the reunion. Playing the victim card was her way out of it.

  • @shemaribanks2179
    @shemaribanks2179 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Micah is insanely manipulative tbh lol

  • @LoopyBeans
    @LoopyBeans ปีที่แล้ว +31

    i CHOKED on my baja blast at your micah impression. "i mean like. i love you"

    • @Moi_81
      @Moi_81 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂

  • @MoGermaine
    @MoGermaine ปีที่แล้ว +91

    The amount of times Micah says “like” is TOO much! 😂

    • @samridhichauhan4287
      @samridhichauhan4287 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      OMG Exactly! It drove me nuts listening to her 😂

  • @samanthas8340
    @samanthas8340 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Love how there's behavior pointed out in this video that isn't discussed anywhere else and that I didn't personally catch.

  • @carminecuevas6011
    @carminecuevas6011 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    If the entire time that Paul was saying it was so great that they view life the same way was just based on both of them agreeing that they have to value the little things, that is so wild to me because it seemed like the rest of their values were so different.

    • @just-a-generic-username
      @just-a-generic-username ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Especially since at the weddings he mentioned to his friends all the ways that him and Micah see the world similarly and his friends flat out said that it didn't sound like him at all. They had never heard him approach things that way or express that outlook before, so I wonder how much of it was genuine and how much of it was him trying to make it work with her.

  • @sarahsmall8226
    @sarahsmall8226 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Interesting! I thought Shelby just wanted Micah for herself. And I thought Micah kept her around because she wants the people in her life to worship her and Paul not submitting to Shelby's judgement was in someone a balking of Micah's power order. I felt like everything was about power. Micah has a minion in Irina. A knight in Shelby, and she decided it might work with Paul after she manipulated him into dumping someone for her before he was ready. Also, I thought the reason they focused on what Paul said about Micah not being a mom is because the show wanted to get Micah out of taking any responsibility for her actions on the show as they plan to cast her on another show so they want people to forget quickly. I actually didn't take issue with Paul saying she wouldn't make a good mom because from what I saw on the show she wouldn't and that's a good reason not to marry someone. But it honestly hurt watching them harp on it during the reunion. I don't think that was helpful to Micah and it felt bad to watch her relive. The whole 'inspiring it out of her's just felt like rubbing her nose in a trait she genuinely does not have. Also, I don't think Micah's ego could have ever survived being rejected so they were always going to breakup after the wedding.

    • @LuyandaMgobhozi
      @LuyandaMgobhozi ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Sarah Small. I couldn’t agree with you more

    • @MsEK05
      @MsEK05 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I felt that the reason she didn't have issue with confronting Irina wasn't because she wasn't afraid of "hard talks" it was because Irina was her underling and she was supposed to be doing what Micah told her to, and Irina flirting with her catch was disrespecting her power stance, not the friendship and she wanted to put her back in line. It wasn't a hard discussion, she didn't have a friend to loose because they didn't have a genuine friendship to begin with.

  • @TheAtjackson
    @TheAtjackson ปีที่แล้ว +28

    OMG! You read the friendship dynamic just as I saw it. It blew my mind. When the BFF saw that there may have been a promising future, that threatened her “position” in her life. Very much giving anxious avoidant attachment. Ugh

  • @isabelleb.dearruda2469
    @isabelleb.dearruda2469 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    This is a great video, congratulations! Very well made ❤

  • @Mica98
    @Mica98 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    One thing that really stuck out to me was that you see one scene of Paul gifting flowers to Amber and being into her and out of the sudden he hears Kwame speak of Micah and how he sees her and right after that he tells Micah he is falling in love with her.... It definitely felt like they wanted to "win the competition"

  • @ryenne8919
    @ryenne8919 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Micah struck me as the “nice” mean girl, who’s fine alone but mean with her friends. Even tho she feels guilty she’s just kinda mean spirited and too much of a follower to change. She reminded me a lot of the rich girls at my hs, no personality but being rich and cutesy. I think she liked him enough to date but she ultimately wanted to win over Amber.

  • @sproutygamerreads7947
    @sproutygamerreads7947 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The externalization of problems you mentioned made me have a lightbulb moment with something I am going through with therapy currently! So thank you!

  • @elizabethchavez1345
    @elizabethchavez1345 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Love, love , love your dissection of this couple. I really like how you looked into Micah's friendships. In that scene I felt so bad for Paul, I can't imagine meeting someone for the first time and being treated like that. Micah in that scene was a huge red flag for a different reason than her mean girl scenes and flirting while engaged. Thank you for your perspective

  • @YoKinah
    @YoKinah ปีที่แล้ว +35

    This was SUCH a good break down. Best break down I’ve seen so far!!! Thanks for covering it 😊

    • @glowingmyway
      @glowingmyway ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I love your name!😍

    • @YoKinah
      @YoKinah ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@glowingmyway aww thank you 🥰

  • @teancoffee208
    @teancoffee208 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Im not saying Irina was right to be so open & audacious about her attraction to Paul, BUT the first time she brought it up to Micah was during the convo where Micah was telling her that she wasn't feeling Paul at all. So Irina was probably hoping Micah would drop Paul so she could try her sloppy seconds. (I just watched the "apartments" episode, before meeting the parents/fam.)

  • @jeremysmith9694
    @jeremysmith9694 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Spot on in your analysis of Shelby. Great anlysis as always. She's a nightmare.

  • @kaylaw6737
    @kaylaw6737 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    If paul and amber would of worked out they would probaly be married right now. Micah just wanted to play with people feelings like she did with kamwe and paul.

    • @jessicayoung3656
      @jessicayoung3656 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Its too bad that Amber and Paul didn't get back together similar to Zack and Bliss

  • @aluwaniratshiungo
    @aluwaniratshiungo ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I don't believe that Micah was gonna say yes. I think that she knew they were both not "there" but she wanted Paul to be the one to say "no" so she can villainize him and paint herself as a victim.

    • @bluebutterfly5062
      @bluebutterfly5062 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The second she was like "You go first" I said oooo this girl is setting him up to be the "loser"!
      If she really wanted to say yes she just would have. She wanted him to say no, so she didn't have to be the one to do it, and then acted like she was a victim

  • @elzalia2056
    @elzalia2056 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’d be interested in a video about 1) use of dating apps, 2) identifying signs of self sabotage in a relationship, or 3) how to overcome the shame and fear spiral after you’ve been vulnerable (for someone anxious I guess… maybe non anxious people don’t spiral immediately after or even during the interaction)

  • @TheJSTash
    @TheJSTash ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Your breakdowns are always on point!
    Love it.

  • @flojo1034
    @flojo1034 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I think you would be a great host for the reunions :D

  • @cherylm.5106
    @cherylm.5106 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Steph: Their flirtation with other people really did complicate my investment in their journey, and again who am I...Who cares what I think?
    Me: Everybody watching this video. 😅

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  ปีที่แล้ว +8

      😂 y’all are the best

  • @SolSolSol7
    @SolSolSol7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Thank you for your video Steph, they’ve actually helped me become self aware of my actions, words, intentions, red flags and all! Thank you ❤

  • @arianagbedolla
    @arianagbedolla ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Stephanya, I know you’re probably tired of reviewing love is blind but I would for you to do a video on Love Is Blind Season 1! The dynamic between Giannina & Damian, there’s so much to talk about there. The love quad between Amber, Barnett, Jessica & Mark. Diamond’s breakup with her match (sorry forgot his name) - that was a very emotionally charged scene. & the golden couple, Lauren & Cam. I would love to see a video on all of them!

    • @nicolettebell5646
      @nicolettebell5646 ปีที่แล้ว

      I agree!!! I was looking for those!! I would love a breakdown on Amber and Barnett, and Lauren and Cam!!

  • @destinylo_
    @destinylo_ ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You are so intuitive and I absolutely love these videos! Your breakdowns are something we can all learn from and apply in our own lives. Thanks for putting in your time to create these videos 👏

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  ปีที่แล้ว

      Aw, thank you! I'm so glad!

  • @laugeee
    @laugeee ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Steph I would LOVE to see you talk about Love Is Blind Japan! Things were so different in that part of the world and I'm very interested to see how culture affected how they did the experiment from the Western production.

  • @TheGracefulGlowup
    @TheGracefulGlowup ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So many gems! Love this breakdown.

  • @redtulips23
    @redtulips23 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was such an interesting couples review. I love hearing a professional’s assessment of people’s behaviors and the different scenarios that play out on these type of shows.

  • @sarathemn
    @sarathemn ปีที่แล้ว +9

    She didn't admit she was guilty at poking fun at Zach, she said she was guilty of laughing along. I think how she put it is interesting, it seems like she doesn't see herself as responsible in any way for the things happening. Or she does and just pretends to be this innocent bystander.

  • @ghaida9300
    @ghaida9300 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Girl i just love the way you talk

  • @samabla2343
    @samabla2343 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love hearing you give your perspective on a rough topic like romance. I’m a very guarded person, so hearing you explain things makes me feel like I’m learning how to tackle stuff like this if they ever occur in real life :p anyways!!! Keep the video coming ❤

  • @malachsalama
    @malachsalama ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I need you to analyse my non-existent relationship real quick

  • @luxy974
    @luxy974 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Love your channel✨and these breakdowns! They’re so on point 💯

  • @st7209
    @st7209 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Micah wants to always have the upper hand in friendships and relationships, so she's a manipulative and "gamer" type of person. People like her never are to vulnerable because they are always in a safe distance to control and push button.

  • @ReneeMonroe88
    @ReneeMonroe88 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you!!!!!! Paul explained what he meant perfectly. I believe they just didn't get the answer they wanted OR comprehension isn't quite their strong suit. Do you think Micah may have an enmeshment situation with her friends?

  • @WinterHamie
    @WinterHamie ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I couldn’t click this video faster, love these, thank you❤

  • @MamaCancer23
    @MamaCancer23 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    These 2 were an odd couple to me the whole time! Seemed like some thing was trying to be forced but in the end that didn’t work. Idk why Micah was surprised that it didn’t work 🤷🏾‍♀️
    Shelby was annoying!!!!! 😒 A straight hater 😅 She didn’t want she see her friend potential happy & move on into marital bliss!

  • @bluebutterfly5062
    @bluebutterfly5062 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I appreciate how you are trying to be objective but I think you have a lot more faith in Micah than she deserves.
    As you said, she is manipulative and plays people like a chessboard. But then you say she changes so we don't know who she really is...?
    It's pretty clear she's a very opportunistic person who changes who she is based on the situation in order to gain power.
    I love your takes Steph because you try to be therapeutic and fair, but we gotta call a spade a spade 😆

  • @alondrasanchez6192
    @alondrasanchez6192 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I knew they weren’t gonna be a match when Paul said he dates granola girls, you can’t go basic after you’ve had granola. Micah was to basic of a girl for Paul

  • @thebossman4875
    @thebossman4875 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, these videos are really fascinating 👏 Well done Steph

  • @sintara8442
    @sintara8442 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I liked paul, yes he is a bit of a reserved guy but I think that's perfectly fine.
    Micah on the other hand, its as you say in the title. I don't think we even know who she is..

  • @larissaroque6111
    @larissaroque6111 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Too many people claim being an empath without understanding what that word means. It can be simply being sympathetic or empathetic to how someone is feeling, or it can mean picking up the energy of someone else. Often, being an empath is a result of childhood trauma (it doesn’t mean one is “witchy” or spiritual, necessarily). It’s the result of growing up trying to sense a parent’s emotional state in order to protect oneself from whatever backlash would result. It’s being in a constant state of hyper-awareness and “reading the room” in order to remain safe from emotional/physical harm. Some people will be in an unconscious state of always looking for what feels good, and that is neither empathetic nor empathic. I believe when Micah said she was an empath, she meant she gravitates towards what she is missing - to be validated by her partner, or to fit in as she demonstrated by behaving like a mean girl with Irena.

  • @tarahigh9093
    @tarahigh9093 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    YES! When Micah didn't have Pauls back when her friend was clearly being a bitch...that was rotten. You should have your partners back

  • @maddyG7414
    @maddyG7414 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I had a friend who said similiar things to Micah about loyalty and compassion/empathy, yet I watched her do several things in her friendships and relationships that were seriously questionable. Especially the aspect of accusing others of being flirtatious with their man, while being just as bad with other people’s significant other, and even cheating on their partner

  • @MiracleMadkins
    @MiracleMadkins ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Vanessa wants Love is Blind to be a drama show. She either needs to step down as a host or get training for this kind of hosting because it’s not working when you’re trying to make men who are mature enough to take responsibility for their mistakes and clarify their intentions, when also given the opportunity, look bad for no reason. She’s biased and judgmental.

  • @emmapemberley6111
    @emmapemberley6111 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think she's straight up a bully, and uses people who are even more mean as a shield for her own mean desires. She is doin shady, immature, selfish stuff the whole time (as you pointed out) . But she clearly enjoys making people suffer or watching and making fun of them at their most vulnerable. It's all a game to her.

  • @margirl9469
    @margirl9469 ปีที่แล้ว

    I havent even watched love is blind. Only little clips on TH-cam here and there. Just watching this therapist reacting is all i need to watch😅😅

  • @latoyac.a.7600
    @latoyac.a.7600 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wonderful video as always 🎉 always appreciate and am so happy when I get your videos

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Aw thank you so much!!

  • @Paulagoulart2
    @Paulagoulart2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are so incredibly insightful! I absolutely love your content!!

  • @allthatis1458
    @allthatis1458 ปีที่แล้ว

    so glad that someone also feels that they never had a connection. my view totally. great video

  • @liz_lemon421
    @liz_lemon421 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Maybe Micah is also very confused about her character 😂.
    I do like that you didn't pick sides and also gave constructive feedback on Paul.

  • @NickyM_0
    @NickyM_0 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was an EXCELLENT analysis and you opened my eyes and confirmed my own feelings about Micah (mean girl or not? And the nature of her 'friends') and opened my eyes to the competitive nature of Paul and Micah and how that played into their other relationshios eg Kwame and Micah. Which just speaks to Micah's lack of authenticity.
    I didn't understand why Paul broke up with Micah and didn't understand his reasoning, which appeared weak and he seemed extremely cold and detached about it on the wedding day, even in the face of Micah's distress. He seemed totally unbothered and matter of fact about it. Your analysis helped me to at least understand why he broke up but I still think he was very cold and detached.
    You broke this down and dissected it. LOVED it. New subscriber!

    • @AlinaAlina-zh5to
      @AlinaAlina-zh5to ปีที่แล้ว

      He talked to a girl from the show, then he continued with Micah, after she broke up he broke up with her because he didn't believe in a long distance relationship, which they both said that in no case would a long distance relationship work. All the public accuses her, but he had a girlfriend at the time of filming the reunions, he had a girlfriend until this moment and he admitted that was talking to M and he even said that he loved her, how do you say that on TV when you have a girlfriend? why would you still want to keep such a close relationship with your ex? Why was he so bothered that M went on vacation with another man a month after the breakup? When he said that he dating with another girl from the show, he did not exclusively, but he claimed that they went out several times, she said that they talked even when he was with M.

  • @Laurenjoinsyoutube
    @Laurenjoinsyoutube ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I completely understood what Paul was saying at the reunion but also if he thought what’s the point in changing someone instead of just getting someone who’s already that

  • @solangevarela5802
    @solangevarela5802 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Pleaseeeee do one for Tiffany and Brett! Would loveeee to hear your perspective on a healthy relationship!
    Love love love your videos

  • @natashangambi4212
    @natashangambi4212 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love your analysis

  • @annacopeland2641
    @annacopeland2641 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I sing the theme song every time lol

    • @StephAnya
      @StephAnya  ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lol I love that ♥️

    • @redenavari
      @redenavari ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's so catchy! Can't help myself either ❤

    • @meganquinones1271
      @meganquinones1271 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ha! I scream “TELL me what’s on your mind Steph!”

    • @bluebutterfly5062
      @bluebutterfly5062 ปีที่แล้ว

      Every once in a while, the song pops up in my head, and that's when I know "is time for a Steph Anya video❤️" 😆

  • @neshisquirrel032
    @neshisquirrel032 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Am I the only one who understood what Paul meant when he said he didn't see her as a mother and didn't find it offensive or sexist? I think that there are some traits in parenthood as a whole that can SOMETIMES indicate whether someone would up "good" or at least "ready." For instance, is she self-less? Is she nurturing? Can he see her putting that child first with him? Can he see her being vulnerable and attentive. Sure, his observation may not be fair and accurate but if I want my husband to be willing to play dress up with the kids but in the now, he won't even watch a movie I like that's not his taste or go out of his way, I'm going to have a hard time envisioning him being able to be that accommodating for a kid. He's seen her many times be mean or unaware and maybe even other things we haven't seen and perhaps that gives him pause. I'm just saying, I understand what he may have been thinking and trying to say.

  • @Mailechannel
    @Mailechannel ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your explanation made so much sense to me❤

  • @dylanraeann6470
    @dylanraeann6470 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I so agree with your thoughts on Shelby!!

  • @kiaravalderrama7112
    @kiaravalderrama7112 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I know Irina was a meangirl, but i think is nnot fair that at the end she was the villian in the program and micah at the end was like the nice poor girl that didnt get the guy at the altar

  • @yolandadesouza9476
    @yolandadesouza9476 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Can you do a video on Vanessa’s rude behavior throughout the entire reunion??

  • @KL-sr5jv
    @KL-sr5jv ปีที่แล้ว

    I loved the concept of compartmentisation❤ ie separate certain difficult issues ( where to live) from how the relationship as a whole works.

  • @Jasseme9813
    @Jasseme9813 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh my goodness thanks for this video! Micah was a bit of a mystery. I felt the same her character is a mystery and i did not see a lot of what you discussed about their relationship! :) Thanks Steph for the video, you identified a ton of what I was getting a hint of.

  • @DiosdeAlcázar
    @DiosdeAlcázar ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don't see anything wrong with a man commenting on not seeing a woman as a mother. A woman can say that she can't see a man as a father and there's no uproar. Let's not have a double standard. And we saw that he was correct because we saw Micah acting like The Wicked Witch of The West and like she was for the streets. Nothing she was doing screamed I am ready to be a mother, let alone wife. At the end of the day, the truth hurts. I just wish Paul would have picked Amber instead. I think they would have had a chance to be married today. Oh....and I HATED how Vanessa was trying to come for his head at the reunion.

  • @annah995
    @annah995 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    yessss, finally!! I was waiting for that :D

  • @insiracusa1111
    @insiracusa1111 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hi! Thank you for your videos . I have just realized that your eyes look very similar to the eyes of Bliss. Both of you are very beautiful women, with pure hearts and sweet faces❤

  • @KatSunghsieh
    @KatSunghsieh ปีที่แล้ว +3

    it would be great if you analyzed the hosts, nick and Vanessa! :D

  • @appealingtodasenses
    @appealingtodasenses ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yeah I couldn’t get a good read on Micah. She was either an evil manipulator or a follower that tried to please everyone. I was honestly shocked about her reaction to Paul not saying “ I do” and thought it was performative but wasn’t sure. Then when Paul said that they tried and it didn’t work it solidified that it was performative paired with embarrassment paired with “losing” and not necessarily on love

    • @smartmarketing173
      @smartmarketing173 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I can’t stop envisioning her as a honey pot- one of those attractive women used to spy and get men into her web for ulterior motives. She loves the chase, the control, and morphs herself into any situation easily. Fascinating.

  • @MoonBunny69
    @MoonBunny69 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As far as Paul and Micah.... i 100% sure he saw how she treated ppl in the pods and he got completely turned off and didn't think she would be nurturing enough to have kids because she's a "mean girl".

  • @melodyliu9523
    @melodyliu9523 ปีที่แล้ว

    omg PREACHHHHH this analysis is SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Linalinalane
    @Linalinalane ปีที่แล้ว +7

    At 29:38-29:39 you can see a micro expression of gleefulness. She smiles a tiny bit. This is called dupers delight. She knows she’s manipulating and she’s enjoying getting away with it.

  • @rummagingchaos
    @rummagingchaos 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    im sorry but micah seems like the girl that would bully you in high school. she fit the mean girl archetype to a T. paul saw through her in the end.

  • @pStabs
    @pStabs ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She seems like a people pleaser to me. She does stuff to impress the "mean girls" so she gets acceptance there. And she is aware she is doing it but she then uses that self tattling as proof of her self awareness to please Paul

  • @mantimoila2915
    @mantimoila2915 ปีที่แล้ว

    I really enjoy your tv related content but I would love it if you made more videos about depression. Your current depression video was really helpful :)