Just seeing this ..me leaving after 26 years this was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life...the guilt and loneliness can be overwhelming....I'm crying as I type this
Sending you lots of love and light your way! I’m also going through it as well! After 12yrs with my son’s father he didn’t want me anymore and wanted something else and new and it hurt so much but I have my son and I’m grateful for that :) we will get through this and we will heal and we will get there :)
Coming out an eight year relationship where I thought if I just loved him hard enough he would see what a good thing he has but he continued to cheat and lie...walking away is so hard and I pray for strength every day because I deserve better.
I have 18 years of relationship and she left me for some other guy at work... it’s been two months of our separation and we have a 3 year old son... it’s really tough for me right now...
7 years and was engaged, its nearly been 2 and I still struggle some days but it does get better. I credit God for bringing me through the most painful thing I have endured so far in my short life. Don't be bitter...you didn't lose. God has you..just learn from what you can and move on.
Look into narcissistic personality disorder videos. You were dealing with a narcissistic. An organic portal being. They are empty on the inside and only cause confusion and drama.
I was with my ex-husband for 14 years. About 3-4 years ago I started to grieve the loss of my marriage because he was literally living like he was single while I stayed home and took care of the kids. When it was time to go it was easy to walk away and I’m ready to find love again.
I never thght I could leave a 20something year relationship. For 10 of those years I put myself through hell knowing and still forcing a dead situation. It took another heartbreak from someone else for me to finally say ENOUGH ! I was led to church bc I felt I lost myself and taking in the word made me feel whole. Before I left him I made peace with myself and forgave him so that I can move on. 1 year now in my single season and I'm so grateful I didnt jump into another failing relationship. I've never been single since the age of 15, I'm abt to be 40 and I still havent heard a man say he loves me and i knew and felt that he did. I've been going half all my life and now I'm so selfish with myself. I've listened to motivational speakers and read self help books and it helps. Finding your purpose and knowing you are here for a bigger purpose than to please man is essential. I pray everyone in these comments hutting and looking for closure finds the peace. Go back to a time you thght u would never make it and remind yourself how u did and how you are still here, NOTHING CAN STOP YOU BUT YOU ❤🙌🏾
So encouraging. I've been in 7 years relationship but he ended it. He said he's not happy anymore. Its like im dying everyday but I have to face the reality. Thank God for giving me strength and wisdom everhday.
Eloisa Adriano He May Not Be Happy W/Himself Which Has Nothing To Do You. Pls Love Yourself First1stUnoUn B4 Giving All Of U 2 Any1 Else. Work On Your Dreams & Goals. You’re A Survivor.
Same here. He ended a 10 year relationship because he wasn’t happy anymore. I felt the same like I’m was dying. But it’s been a month and half. And it’s still really hard but easier at the same time. It will get better. Praying for you.
Thank you for this. The right steps get blurred at times. I left a 7 yr, stale relationship and have decided to never stay in anything that doesn’t nurture me. I feel my life coming back daily and although some days are hard, I’m alive and well.
I just recovered from my 6 years on & off toxic relationship in last July. I dumped him bc I couldn't do this anymore. Tired of lies, cheating, & manipulated. Now I'm with a man who treats me better & made me feel like a real queen. I really do love him. Thank you Ms. Vazant for stressing not to find my ex on Facebook. I did block him, but when I unblocked him I was curious to see his situation. It did hurt & I was very stupid for seeing that. Thank u & I would never ever do that again. Many blessings & love for u mama!😙😙😙
After 21 yrs, I find myself starting over from something I thought would be forever. One day I am great and the next day I'm crying and I have to start getting better all over again. I have accepted but I feel he ruined something beautiful and that is what I am still grieving.
Mama Iyanla, this message was so very much needed today! I am one month out of a 6 year relationship that I just knew would last forever. I ended it but have had such trouble sleeping and adjusting to life without him. This morning I prayed for help, for a word from someone who could help me understand what I'm feeling and the process it takes. I guess I just felt like if I didn't think about the break up then I was no longer hurting from it. But the truth is, I just haven't talked about it because when I do, I cry. So thank you for making this video. Lord truly knows I needed it. I appreciate you. Many thanks and Hugs your way!! :*
teach1nation I'm sorry. I stand with you believing that it will get better. We can hope and expect comfort and good things from the Lord. He never fails.
LoverOfBeauty18 I'm so sorry hunni and I promise it will be ok. IT TAKES TIME, and just give it time. I walked away from an almost 14 yr marriage almost 4 yrs ago, and it took me almost 3 yrs to heal. IT WILL GET BETTER! I got into therapy, and it helped tremendously. Look into it, if it's available to you dear. Chin up... you'll be just fine.
I stumble upon this video on my timeline,it's as if God answered my prayers. The words spoken are everything I needed to hear.I thank you so very much.
OMG my sincere condolences to you Iyanla. I have been listening to inspirational and motivational speeches on TH-cam for the last week. I am 5 months out of a 8 year relationship 2 years of marriage. I was in the line at the bank waiting and decided to go on TH-cam and find something to listen to and came across this episode. I was listening when l heard you mentioned you lost your daughter, so l immediately went to google it. My heart sank and l literally felt pain. In 1999 you was on Oprah's Show and introduced your children and l was in the hospital and had just gave birth to my daughter and was watching the show. I was told by my doctor l was gonna have a boy, so when it turned out to be a girl l did not have a name for her picked out. So when you said your daughter's name l said that's a beautiful name that's what l am gonna name my daughter. I wasn't aware of how her name was spelt so l spelt her name Jahmea. It wasn't until l read one of your books l saw it was spelt Gemmia. My Jahmea was 3 yrs old when your Gem 💎 passed on. I am soooo sorry for your lost. I hope this brings some comfort and a smile to your face knowing that her name lives on in another young lady that is beautiful and sweet as your Gem 💎. When l found out how your daughter's name was spelt l was sorry l didn't find out before l left the hospital because l liked what the Gem 💎 signified. My Jahmea is now 18yrs old 6 ft tall and a freshman at UCLA. She is a water polo goalie for UCLA women's water polo team.
This is my heart ache, my struggle, my devastation. I can't even breathe and I spend all my time making sure i dont feel anything for fear i won't ever be ok again. Happy? The concept makes my head spin. Then I'm guilty because so many people have been through so much harder than me. It's a bad cycle. Thank you for planting the seeds that might help me change direction. As crazy as it is, i truly love you iyanla. You've gotten me through my darkest days with just a sentence or two sometimes. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into helping strangers, like me, who need your words and wisdom! I cant imagine where I'd be without you!
Running from the feelings is a endless cycle. Sometimes you just need to break down and cry. If you need to take a few days and just cry, do that. Running from the pain for me has never worked. If I need to get it out, I might hold out until I'm alone but I get it out. like she said if you need help get it. I found writing it down and tearing up works for me. Just start taking better care of yourself. I remember a situation came to an end that I had been in for over 11 years. I didn't know what to do, so I started taking care of myself. I went to the doctor and just got my blood work done, went to see the obgyn, went to the dentist and went to the eye dr. I had high blood pressure, I needed glasses and realized that this relationship was pulling me down so far that I wasn't taking basic care of myself. start somewhere anywhere. I have tons of work to still do on myself.
Kris Red Lee that is such good advice! My car was filthy all winter and last weekend I cleaned it. I cried and cleaned the hell out of the car! I felt better. I am so bad at self care and i think you're right, I have to start with the basics. Thank you. Thank you to both you kind people who took the time to encourage a stranger.
Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Thanks! I just got away from an abusive (nightmarish) “Covert Narcissist” after 32 years of being stuck in a trauma bond. She is a master manipulator in every respect. She also masterfully used gaslighting, silent treatment, triangulation, smear campaigns, flying monkeys and more on a routine basis to keep me under her control. I almost went crazy and came close to ending up in a psychiatric ward towards the end of our relationship a year and half ago. I found out later she was intentionally seeking to put me in one...who does this kind of diabolical stuff? (She told me this in a text message. She had paperwork prepared and so on. Ouuuch!!!! I’m a stable, level-headed, intelligent, caring type of man, father, husband and person...wow!!! She knew this, and yet...the madness of being in an Alice In Wonderland Nightmare for 32 years. I wonder, if I will ever recover from the experience of being with such a woman? 🥴.) When I met her 32 years ago, the above descriptors were unknowns. I’m finally free now, and on the road recovery finally. One thing...as honorable man who was loyal and dedicated to the wrong woman for 32 years....”What the heck do I know about being single and being by myself?!!!!...🥴🤪😂 I guess I’m going to find out.🤔
This is great advice. Divorced after 22 years was difficult and although sad it’s the best decision I made for my health. I started exercising and have lost 90lbs and going strong. I have done all of the things Iyanla mentions in this video and more. Life goes on. We don’t die from love or divorce. We move on in grace. It’s hard work and worth it.
After 15 years and still no marriage I quit. Not building a financial nest egg I am through waiting on him. It is my time to make the move to leave the relationship hopefully on good terms. This is living today one day at a time for me. Happy New Year
I just left my relationship of over 5 years and of course I’m feeling raw and it’s so painful. I know the mistakes I made but he made worse ones. Now he’s apologizing, sending me texts every day. I wish he would leave me alone. After watching this I’m going to give him the 30 day no contact order. It’s what I need right now. Thank goodness he’s not on social media either.
That is so true! The arts have greatly contributed to my healing. I have lost weight, a new hairstyle, and have absorbed myself in the arts. Concerts, museums, and all other sorts of things. I have met new people and done a lot of things. The next step is the updating of my home. New bedding, pictures are about to be hung, and some new furniture are coming my way too! Thank you, Iyanla. I appreciate you! Be blessed, Sis! :-)
Its been 4 days since my 11yr relationship ended. Just so hurt. Know it was coming and for the best but it doesnt make it any easier. Thank you Iyanla.
just released a 16yr marriage! I did get closure and attonement as well as forgive for myself and him. I chose to leave. I loved him "us" to leave so we can make space for what we need down the road in a mate. I wanted a more spiritual connection we didn't have. I became thirsty for a deeper kind of love I couldn't find or develope in us. I was doing all the work and he was resisting. So, I let him be him and moved on! I feel so much lighter already! My spirit was so ready to move on that I was excited to get out!
This is perfect! My 10 year marriage ended in 2012. I decided to ended. We've been physically apart since 2016. It wasn't until then I realized I was still hurting from everything. We have children too so I have to communicate with him. Im reliving the pain from my marriage over and over. It feels like I'm being stabbed over and over. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I made a conscious decision that I wanted to heal! I'm so thankful for Iyanla's advice! I'm working on forgiving my ex and myself!
Iyanla, you spoke to my spirit today. My husband of 30+ years died in 2016 and I've been feeling like I just want to just drop everything and start somewhere altogether new, but then I start thinking about my age, and leaving the home we shared for over 20 years. It's just that it seems like there's always something to remind me of him here and I should take that leap of faith. Also, thank you for the "hallelujah truth"! God bless you.
Look into narcissistic personality disorder videos. You were dealing with a narcissistic. An organic portal being. They are empty on the inside and only cause confusion and drama.
Thank you. My ex walked out on me suddenly after 30 years together. In the blink of an eye he was living the 'perfect' (his words) life with somebody else. The pain has almost killed me, twice. Your words have helped so thank you. Also, loving condolences to you on the loss of your daughter. I have been through a lot but I cannot imagine your pain on such a deep and sad level. Love and best wishes to you and thank you again. XXXX
Hare Bell I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years..3 young children (one teen from someone previous) and found out today that he needed to be "free". Our relationship has been so dysfunctional that I got used to it and accepted a lot of things I should never have. Now that he has gotten caught he needs to be free...the pain is unbearable.
GODS TIMING THE BEST TIMING! After 23 years in a relationship and 22 years marriage it’s TIME to come out of that HORRIBLE PIT OF A UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!
After my 10year relationship I had to let go for better& I thank God for giving me strength and each step I take daily makes the healing process much better& Stronger.. 🙏🙏Thank you for this Video💕& Sharing your daughter story about broccoli....🙏🙏❤
They say when u cry u are still hurting from it. Its ok to cry and get it out! Its the process! Everyone's process timeline is different. YOU WILL BE STRONG LIKE THIS ONE DAY😉
This video post was very helpful. I offer my sincere condolences on the loss of your daughter. I also lost my son in 2013 and ended my marriage two months later. I considered it a double death. Recovery hasn't been easy but I am in a much better place today. Thank you for this video mama Iyanla.
Its been 18 years of on and off with long term relationship. And today I talked and it was the ending. We have a 6 year old daughter and well I'm 4 months pregnant. So you can imagine the emotional wreck that I am. However I'm very strong woman and i know that with God by my side i will heal. And thank you Iyanla. Blessed.
is it my eyes decieving me or is it tru Iyanla keeps turning back the clock on age 5 more yrs back EVERYTIME i see one of her new vdos. looking younger and younger everytime lol beautiful! 😘😘😘😘 🤗
He left without trying to talk about our ugly fight. He walked away. Literally packed up His things , blocked my phone number, and found a place to drink again at a hotel ( he had a 2 month clean streak) and was so sad that happened . I wish we could talk about what happened but I know it’s best that I don’t contact him anymore . Love is letting go. Iyanla, thank you for your wisdom and love.
Iyana, you have such a soothing voice and your words are so wise. I am 9 months out of an 18 year marriage, luckily I am almost out the other side of the bad times, this certainly helps. There are not many videos that deal with ending a long term relationship. This was so helpful.
How are you doing? No one seems to understand that the person literally feels like a part of you? I have been married for 17 years and I just found out her was cheating last month. I feel lost, how did you cope?
I didn't cope for a very long time!!!! I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, was anxious and upset all the time. But I didn't like how that felt so I looked for help on channels like this, found things to do that I enjoy to keep my mind of things and make me feel empowered, and one day just out of the blue I felt "normal" again and it made me happy and made me want to stay that way and not return to the miserable state that I had been in. So I try not to let myself get sad about my situation because I do not want to sink back into that despair. It takes hard work and self discipline to rise above everything, especially when it feels like you have been tossed aside for someone else. When you get discarded and your spouse has someone else already lined up it does make you feel like all the years you had together were a lie. that the feelings they professed to have were a lie. But you just have to cherish the good times you had together and the time when you truly believed you had a genuine love. That was real and that existed. Many people are unlucky and never get to experience love at all in their lifetime. So you just have to appreciate that someone did love you once. Enough to want to marry you and have kids with you. Things have changed now. Accepting that things have changed is the key to moving on I think. Don't get me wrong I still have tears now and then, but they pass much more quickly and I recover much more quickly than before.
Sheree Findon Thank-you for sharing your empowering words. They have helped soothe me a bit more. Lots of love to you and your journey. I pray all is continuing to be well with you, your heart and your spirit.
This is my 1st video omg I love you and how straight you talk, my bf kept breaking up with me after minor fights making me insecure and he never would talk accountability your video has helped thank you I'm now a subscriber
@@AutumnHaunts I'm so sorry my ex got in touch yesterday of course it was my fault then his ex wife's fault omg the shit he came off with I'm beginning to see I'm better of without him I told him all my feelings and he's the only 1 to fix things not me this time. Still feels awful I hope your ok
She looks so pretty , her whole look is spot on. I love her advice and I love her transparencies. This definitely is needed because moving on is so tough the longer you are in the relationship seemingly...don't know the actual outcome in God's hands.
After my grandmother passed in front of me...my guy of 8 years held me down...then he dropped dead the following month. It's been 6 months now and I feel like an empty shell that's just existing. But when I do have a good moment, I try to hold onto it and let it build me up for when it's bad. It's so hard.
Omg Im sooo sorry for ur loss as I read those words u made me😢😫May u be comforted and learn to love on you and realize it was out of ur control and that u have so much to inspire others that will go through this as well!! Smh
Last week I was the one who got left. After 9.5 years. I had to accept. I am still struggling so much with all the emotions and moving on. You're video was a blessing and it gives me hope and strength I so need right now. Thank you, thank you so much for this
I'm in the situation where I have been engaged with him in dec. Suddenly on feb, i know he lies to me about his bad behaviour that i cant tolerate. I beg for him to change before married happen, but he doesn't want to. Because of that, i take a decision to break up with him. I gave the closure but i said that i still love him and i want to come back with him if he had change. 5 days after we broke up, he constantly contact me and beg for 2nd chance, i trust and give him that, he says he need 5 months to change to become a better person, but 2 weeks later he give up and left me without closure and explanation. It just so hurt much more than 1st breakup because he left me without reason and i just found out he is seeing new girl. I knew that in that 2 weeks we constantly arguing, and fighting but i clearly say that i still love him and want him in my life.
I see alot of mistakes were made here... expectations, not knowing your worth. Begging someone to change, wont help anyone. You can still love someone and not be with them. You know the saying.. if you love someone, let them go. Focus on yourself girl. I f he wants to go, fine. We deserve better.
I am struggling so much...I just want to be back with this person and feel they have moved on... I can't stop crying I can't listen to music, I hate being alone cause it worse.
Someone also left me Because I'm not white man I have light brown skin Loyalty ain't come from skin I fell in real love with her Who lives in florida I can forgive her 10 thousands mistake Godly woman never cheat on her man. She didn't ever feel my pain
I came upon this video this morning right when it was needed in my life. Thank you so much Queen, I lost my king my soulmate my best friend of 21 years in 2017 and soon after my home to Hurricane Harvey. It's been a very rough 2 almost 3 years. I feel uplifted too keep moving forward and let go of the guilt of not being able to save him and realize it was a natural cause and time for his transition. I just want to say thank you for your words and accepting the energy and blessings from the ancestors that you passed on to us. Peace and blessings. Ase'
Thank you miss Iyanla for sharing this precious information. I was here laying in my bed crying because the holidays are coming and I began to miss my ex constantly. So I came on TH-cam and typed how to get over a relationship and your video was the first video came up. Thank you for sharing I really needed this.
Thankyouuuuuuuuu currently pacing the floor to keep tears back. My first boyfriend broke my heart at 18 I promised myself I wouldn't let my heart get broke again @21 I met my now ex we moved out of state together and he was my first longterm relationship and my only friend 2.7 years later after verbally & physically fighting for the last time. I'm homeless and I'm heartbroken bless u . I hope I can continue to grow into a strong woman
Getting out of a 5 year relationship where we broke up actually, like five months ago. But we’ve still been seeing each other and talking almost every day and it’s just this wishy-washy sort of separation. I’m finding that it hurts so much more than just being completely separate because when he leaves it’s like my whole world crashes down all over again. Today I made the decision to finally MoveOn no matter how painful, no matter the guilt that I feel for trying to move on from the man I promised I loved the day I die… I haven’t felt this type of pain since my mom’s suicide
It's almost 3 months since my break up and for some reason I'm still going strong. Maybe I'm one of those strong black women or just got tired of being treated like dirt by my husband. Thank u for more inspiration Lyanla
Romayne Banker I was like that, it didn’t hit me till I was 6months out. Then I fell apart in the middle of Madison square garden; folks looking at me snot running down my nose and the ugly cry.. sitting on the floor. I wish I gave myself the time to unpack bc honeeeeyyyy if you ignore it .. it will find you. I forced myself to keep going to just keep being strong for my kids. After that day I think I cried for a week straight. That’s when I knew I had to acknowledge it. I’m happy for you if you did all the work already lol I had to learn the hard way.
I'm leaving a relationship with someone who I was married to and dated. It lasted 16 years! They were a sociopath. I lost everything material and spiritually. The scars left damaged not only me, but my children. When I have a good day, without grievance, I have nightmares! I'm limited about what I can do to distract me. I have good moments and bad moments.
Hello. Thank you this - it felt like an in-depth, intimate, friendly therapy session and you explained everything with examples and in detail... Just what I needed. I'll definitely be back. I got broken up with 3 months ago; over 6 years of relationship, i loved her very much, always went out of my skin to make everything better & i'm feeling very lonely, wasted and used. This video gives me some basis to try not to reach out anymore and be good to myself. Thank you. Please let me imagine getting a big comforting hug from you. Love, Kate.
Thirty five years married and 37 together. He says “I don’t want It.” Ok I saw it coming, but I was loyal to my vows. The thing about it, is, I had heard those words 21 years before and I let him come back. He was a nice guy, but not exactly the most exciting relationship. I was pretty lonely. So I can accept that he wants to go. In fact, I can help him because I am ready for something new. I am letting go, but it still isn’t easy. It’s best however, for my personal happiness now. I think it went too long! I think I can honestly say it’s ok. So here I go! What’s next?
I am coming out of a 17 year relashionship. Not by choice, i still love the man. But he has a drug addiction and we have kids. I HAD to leave. I guess now that i look at it. I choose to leave to give my kids a better life. It was a very dysfunctional relationship. I'd stayed longer than what I had to. I really appreciate all the in side you gave me.... I know I have to heal not only for me but for my kids.
After a 7years relationship,I have been struggling with how to handle myself. I would block and unblock him, sending him messages of how hurt I was hoping that he would see them and reply but sadly It didn't happened. Today I feel better listening to this. I hope to heal completely and be able to love again......
I been in a 6 1/2 years relationship with 2 kids involved.. I left because of he was living life like he was single ..and wanted to talk to other females especially his exes ..I was hurt I gave him 2 chances n I don't wanna go bak I cry n cry and it's been 2 months now ...and I'm still crying kuz he moved on like it was nothing made me question did he eva loved me ...Lord please give me strength I still need help till today..I'm crying out for help to move on...
P.s. my piggy bank has been working for a long time to get to one of your Wonder Woman weekends from idaho. I know I will get there eventually so please don't quit doing them! Connecting with others like myself, who have an overwhelming desire to do the work but can't seem to get on your show (hahaha)...i mean who just get repeatedly stuck despite exhausting ourselves in every attempt to get better, is something I know will happen for me eventually and that I look forward to already. I've looked at the website many times and I was not aware of a payment plan option so I just got incredibly excited! You are such a lovely and loving woman. For someone who has made so many mistakes, I think I've always known that there was a meaningful and purposeful life I was meant to live. And I've just done everything to hold myself back from that. Your principles speak to my heart and my soul and I can't wait to meet other wonderful Wonder Women on similar Journeys someday.
My bf ended 6 year relationship with me after him moving back to his hometown for a new job. I was supposed to move in with him this June. I turned in resignation at work and was getting ready for move but he dumped me the day before my b-day, which is also June. No explanation, face to face talk, text nor email. 4 months after, I found the pic of him and a new girl on social media. Finding this picture is my kinda of closure because he was too coward to tell me he wanna end our relationship. What makes this break up even harder is my sister passed away recently because of cancer. I’ve been hurt and heartbroken from break up and loss of my sister but I believe I will get healed soon.
ButtahscotchKisses If I say yes, its gonna be a lie. I am in the process of trying to forgiving what he did to me. Honestly it is not easy but I hope I can do that soon...
I really wished someone created a support group in each state for women. A group where we had monthly dates, yearly retreats, etc. Just a safe space to talk, love on, reintroduce ourselves, heal, or just be each other’s accountability partners.
i went threw a 26 year relationship with 5 kids and i promise you this made so much sense to me.....to hear it this way. i thought it was over for me..i went from a size 16 to a 5.....i really didnt wanna be here anymore. i had to do it for me ....thank you for this ..after loosing my dad....granddaddy....i never had a chance to have my grandfather walk me down the aisle.....nor my dad...waiting for this man to feel being a family ..time played me and i played myself....he is with the same person he cheated on me with for 26 years as we speak.....its only been 3 years since i told him give me your last name or let me go.....he left..but kept coming back forcing hiself on me...until i stood up for myself...even now its really hard ..i know im not gonna fix 26 years in 3 years but im working on it.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems ❤❤❤
I needed this...it's taking me 12 years to truly get over my ex I had a child by...I'm learning to love myself again & not settle for less than what I deserve...hopefully God will send my future husband because I'm living for today❤
It's been 6 months for my 6 year relationship. The hardest time of my life & we have a daughter and once enagaed. Planning our wedding & everything. Plus we still live together makes it 10x harder for me
Thank you Iyanla for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I lost my mother in 2020 from Covid. I didn't realize that I was in mourning instead of grief. I will speak to a professional. It seems as if I have forgotten about myself and taking care of myself. I'm homeless now, but this is an opportunity to reach out and seek the right help for myself. Thank you so much.
You are a beautiful person, I am truly sorry for your loss, no relationship ending could be comparable to a mother losing her child, in my opinion . Thank you for your advice and kind heart and also reaching out to people who need help recovering from their losses.
Thank you so much for this topic because I'm going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage, which is half my life and everything you said is so true, love you and please keep the inspiration going and so sorry about the loss of your daughter🙏🙏
I broke up with my ex after 9 months. I'm definitely grieving, I think I'm in stage 3, pleading stage. I'm thinking about the good memories that we shared, which is making me want to get back with him. I know it my low self esteem talking, because I broke up with him for a reason. Thank you Sister Iyanla, I needed to hear this.
My father passed away suddenly in 2015 a few days after my birthday. I moved into his house and tried to hold on to everything of his and had no room for my things. Slowly I came to realize I can't "hold on" to everything..it is so hard because I felt like I would forget him as crazy as that sounds. He was my best friend...my confidant. I'm still grieving but now I can remember all of the good things about him.
Iyanla I am suffering and it’s only been a relationship that was 1 1/2 years. It was a really passionate for a while, then this issue of him not trusting me, imagining that I had other lovers, that I was sneaking around on the phone, couldn’t deal with me going out with friends, etc.it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. But underneath we loved each other, I can’t remember when I felt this bad.
My biggest recovery was confronting my ex (who I left) about his feelings for me after 1 year of mourning and doubting my decision and hearing that he no longer loves me like a woman but loves me like a friend/person. It set me free and confirmed that I made the right decision.
Lyanla, thank you so much for your optimism about life. Thank you, for the words of wisdom and encouragement. God bless you, your daughter is now in a better place. My ex asked me last week for space (unexpectedly) after 5.5 yrs of relationship. We've done this before (space). I can't keep going back to the relationship whenever she feels ready. She's a widow with two kids. I helped her so much, and at the end I realized I'm NOT the problem. I know now co-habitated with a narcissist. It hurts, but I can't do this anymore. It's my fault for not recognizing the signs this woman needs major therapy. I pray to God, I'll be strong and move on. I need to heal. Take care everyone.
I having been dating this guy for 8years now today he just told me he never loved me,it's hurt to know that he led me on for that long and really do hurt because I don't know how to move on
Its not easy figuring how to do something that we never prepare for. U have to remain to urself and learn to love urself by doing things u enoy to keep ur mind off of him as u realize u are the most important person in ur life ur process will begin and u will only accept what u deserve from this point on!!
you are so soothing to listen to. my bf of 6 years broke up with me mutliple times and begged for me back each time... and Im ready to finally move forward from this pain
Stop being loyal to those who don't treat you well 🎯
💯💯
This all I can say
Thank you for putting words to it...
That's as real a it is and as real as it get's !!!
Wisdom! 🎯
Just seeing this ..me leaving after 26 years this was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life...the guilt and loneliness can be overwhelming....I'm crying as I type this
you got it bbygirl !
keep praying and taking it one day at a time 🙏🏾
andrea knowles I’m sorry sis I get it
Narcissistic people are soulless beings. They are never peaceful. They thrive in chaos, argument and drama.
The Many Faces of AngieK 24 for me and I’m only 38. Met him when I was 14. Been married since 18.
Sending you lots of love and light your way! I’m also going through it as well! After 12yrs with my son’s father he didn’t want me anymore and wanted something else and new and it hurt so much but I have my son and I’m grateful for that :) we will get through this and we will heal and we will get there :)
Coming out an eight year relationship where I thought if I just loved him hard enough he would see what a good thing he has but he continued to cheat and lie...walking away is so hard and I pray for strength every day because I deserve better.
K. Cuse going through it now !!! Trust me !!!!! You will be fine ! F*ck him !
K. Cuse Hope all is well with you. Stay strong
MiSSproper2018. Stay strong.🙏🏽
K. Cuse mama i hope u walk out there !!! Love urself more than anyone else,
Same here
*BIG GROUP HUG*everybody!
❤ sending ❤
Get yourself out there, show up, heal, be around uplifting people. Ya’ll got this ladies and gentlemen
24 years together 22 married and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... Even worst when kids are involved..
How did u do that and why?
@Reese Barnes Same here!!! Blessings to you and your family. 🙏🏽
I have 18 years of relationship and she left me for some other guy at work...
it’s been two months of our separation and we have a 3 year old son... it’s really tough for me right now...
You’re a survivor. Bless you & your children.
@@winmarkortega5696 prayers for you and your family,this to shall pass 🙏
Watching this to heal my broken heart 💔
Prayers to you
Knowledge gained from the experience will heal you. Look into narcissistic personality disorder videos.
Me to…searching through hundreds of videos…
Me rn
@@SomebodyGonListen I pray God heals you. My heart has been restored . I hope the same for you 💕 things will get better with time
It hurts me how many broken relationships, but I Am encouraged by how many strong women are here.💞 #Goddesses #LotusFlower #Survivor #SelfLove First
Thank you!
7 years and was engaged, its nearly been 2 and I still struggle some days but it does get better. I credit God for bringing me through the most painful thing I have endured so far in my short life. Don't be bitter...you didn't lose. God has you..just learn from what you can and move on.
Look into narcissistic personality disorder videos. You were dealing with a narcissistic. An organic portal being. They are empty on the inside and only cause confusion and drama.
Amen Its been 3 yrs and I’m still struggling too. But I know in the end I won, I won a new life without his added stress
How are you doing now?
I was with my ex-husband for 14 years. About 3-4 years ago I started to grieve the loss of my marriage because he was literally living like he was single while I stayed home and took care of the kids. When it was time to go it was easy to walk away and I’m ready to find love again.
Good for you 💞
Yes I've grieved the loss so much before it actually happened that it made it easier.
Same here, I've had 2-3 years grieving the loss of what we could have had and now I'm accepting that it's done. It's a little easier to move on.
Same here, I’m leaving mine now after 18 years. All the lies and indifference I can’t take anymore. It felt like a waste of my time.
I never thght I could leave a 20something year relationship. For 10 of those years I put myself through hell knowing and still forcing a dead situation. It took another heartbreak from someone else for me to finally say ENOUGH ! I was led to church bc I felt I lost myself and taking in the word made me feel whole. Before I left him I made peace with myself and forgave him so that I can move on. 1 year now in my single season and I'm so grateful I didnt jump into another failing relationship. I've never been single since the age of 15, I'm abt to be 40 and I still havent heard a man say he loves me and i knew and felt that he did. I've been going half all my life and now I'm so selfish with myself. I've listened to motivational speakers and read self help books and it helps. Finding your purpose and knowing you are here for a bigger purpose than to please man is essential. I pray everyone in these comments hutting and looking for closure finds the peace. Go back to a time you thght u would never make it and remind yourself how u did and how you are still here, NOTHING CAN STOP YOU BUT YOU ❤🙌🏾
So encouraging. I've been in 7 years relationship but he ended it. He said he's not happy anymore. Its like im dying everyday but I have to face the reality. Thank God for giving me strength and wisdom everhday.
Eloisa Adriano He May Not Be Happy W/Himself Which Has Nothing To Do You. Pls Love Yourself First1stUnoUn B4 Giving All Of U 2 Any1 Else. Work On Your Dreams & Goals. You’re A Survivor.
I hope you're doing much much better now. ❤ *Hugs you*
Same here. He ended a 10 year relationship because he wasn’t happy anymore. I felt the same like I’m was dying. But it’s been a month and half. And it’s still really hard but easier at the same time. It will get better. Praying for you.
13 years over here... I am in the same pain now
@@audreyo1140 Sending you prayers for healing. You are not alone.
Thank you for this. The right steps get blurred at times. I left a 7 yr, stale relationship and have decided to never stay in anything that doesn’t nurture me. I feel my life coming back daily and although some days are hard, I’m alive and well.
I just recovered from my 6 years on & off toxic relationship in last July. I dumped him bc I couldn't do this anymore. Tired of lies, cheating, & manipulated. Now I'm with a man who treats me better & made me feel like a real queen. I really do love him. Thank you Ms. Vazant for stressing not to find my ex on Facebook. I did block him, but when I unblocked him I was curious to see his situation. It did hurt & I was very stupid for seeing that. Thank u & I would never ever do that again. Many blessings & love for u mama!😙😙😙
After 21 yrs, I find myself starting over from something I thought would be forever. One day I am great and the next day I'm crying and I have to start getting better all over again. I have accepted but I feel he ruined something beautiful and that is what I am still grieving.
Thank you for clarifying the difference between grief and mourning. It was eye-opening!
Shavonne Holton )
That was helpful for me as well.
Mama Iyanla, this message was so very much needed today! I am one month out of a 6 year relationship that I just knew would last forever. I ended it but have had such trouble sleeping and adjusting to life without him. This morning I prayed for help, for a word from someone who could help me understand what I'm feeling and the process it takes. I guess I just felt like if I didn't think about the break up then I was no longer hurting from it. But the truth is, I just haven't talked about it because when I do, I cry. So thank you for making this video. Lord truly knows I needed it. I appreciate you. Many thanks and Hugs your way!! :*
LoverOfBeauty18 ((hugs)) to you!
Same here 5 yrs... I'm in the thick of it.
teach1nation I'm sorry. I stand with you believing that it will get better. We can hope and expect comfort and good things from the Lord. He never fails.
Stephanie Bullock Thank you, Queen :) And to you, as well!!!
LoverOfBeauty18 I'm so sorry hunni and I promise it will be ok. IT TAKES TIME, and just give it time. I walked away from an almost 14 yr marriage almost 4 yrs ago, and it took me almost 3 yrs to heal. IT WILL GET BETTER! I got into therapy, and it helped tremendously. Look into it, if it's available to you dear. Chin up... you'll be just fine.
I stumble upon this video on my timeline,it's as if God answered my prayers. The words spoken are everything I needed to hear.I thank you so very much.
7yrs.. 2 of those yrs for healing & rediscovering, it gets easier & easier.
Starr Goddess yes it does. 3 yrs for me!!!
Starr Goddess it took you 7 years to get over the relationship may I ask how long was it
Tonya Henry 5yr relationship 2 yrs to get back to myself.. totally of 7yrs I felt I wasted, yet I learnt so much.
Starr Goddess mines has been 1 year since the breakup, we was together for 5. This has been the worst year.
Starr Goddess Thank you for reminding me that it gets easier. One year of a two and a half year abusive relationship!
OMG my sincere condolences to you Iyanla. I have been listening to inspirational and motivational speeches on TH-cam for the last week. I am 5 months out of a 8 year relationship 2 years of marriage. I was in the line at the bank waiting and decided to go on TH-cam and find something to listen to and came across this episode. I was listening when l heard you mentioned you lost your daughter, so l immediately went to google it. My heart sank and l literally felt pain. In 1999 you was on Oprah's Show and introduced your children and l was in the hospital and had just gave birth to my daughter and was watching the show. I was told by my doctor l was gonna have a boy, so when it turned out to be a girl l did not have a name for her picked out. So when you said your daughter's name l said that's a beautiful name that's what l am gonna name my daughter. I wasn't aware of how her name was spelt so l spelt her name Jahmea. It wasn't until l read one of your books l saw it was spelt Gemmia. My Jahmea was 3 yrs old when your Gem 💎 passed on. I am soooo sorry for your lost. I hope this brings some comfort and a smile to your face knowing that her name lives on in another young lady that is beautiful and sweet as your Gem 💎. When l found out how your daughter's name was spelt l was sorry l didn't find out before l left the hospital because l liked what the Gem 💎 signified. My Jahmea is now 18yrs old 6 ft tall and a freshman at UCLA. She is a water polo goalie for UCLA women's water polo team.
Jennifer Bent wow what a beautiful story, lets us know we can impact others life in a significant way without ever even knowing!
beautiful story. thanks for sharing!!
LADY J IN LA gosh ..my timings are exactly the same as yours....
Beautiful
This is my heart ache, my struggle, my devastation. I can't even breathe and I spend all my time making sure i dont feel anything for fear i won't ever be ok again. Happy? The concept makes my head spin. Then I'm guilty because so many people have been through so much harder than me. It's a bad cycle. Thank you for planting the seeds that might help me change direction. As crazy as it is, i truly love you iyanla. You've gotten me through my darkest days with just a sentence or two sometimes. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into helping strangers, like me, who need your words and wisdom! I cant imagine where I'd be without you!
Bobbi J you'll be ok honey. Trust me.
Running from the feelings is a endless cycle. Sometimes you just need to break down and cry. If you need to take a few days and just cry, do that. Running from the pain for me has never worked. If I need to get it out, I might hold out until I'm alone but I get it out. like she said if you need help get it. I found writing it down and tearing up works for me. Just start taking better care of yourself. I remember a situation came to an end that I had been in for over 11 years. I didn't know what to do, so I started taking care of myself. I went to the doctor and just got my blood work done, went to see the obgyn, went to the dentist and went to the eye dr. I had high blood pressure, I needed glasses and realized that this relationship was pulling me down so far that I wasn't taking basic care of myself. start somewhere anywhere. I have tons of work to still do on myself.
Kris Red Lee that is such good advice! My car was filthy all winter and last weekend I cleaned it. I cried and cleaned the hell out of the car! I felt better. I am so bad at self care and i think you're right, I have to start with the basics. Thank you.
Thank you to both you kind people who took the time to encourage a stranger.
Bobbi J Girl her mentorship and humor keep me going. " Fondling broccoli spear florets to my bosom area had me cackling and rolling.
,wtheaivbenß.
Who is here in 2021💔🥲 acceptance is the hardest part for me at this moment!
Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Wh@tsApp him for help
+19177227027⏯⏯⏯| 💕||.
I can literally feel my heart tearing apart. So painful and overwhelming💔💔💔hope every broken heart will be healed
Thanks!
I just got away from an abusive (nightmarish) “Covert Narcissist” after 32 years of being stuck in a trauma bond.
She is a master manipulator in every respect. She also masterfully used gaslighting, silent treatment, triangulation, smear campaigns, flying monkeys and more on a routine basis to keep me under her control. I almost went crazy and came close to ending up in a psychiatric ward towards the end of our relationship a year and half ago. I found out later she was intentionally seeking to put me in one...who does this kind of diabolical stuff? (She told me this in a text message. She had paperwork prepared and so on. Ouuuch!!!! I’m a stable, level-headed, intelligent, caring type of man, father, husband and person...wow!!! She knew this, and yet...the madness of being in an Alice In Wonderland Nightmare for 32 years. I wonder, if I will ever recover from the experience of being with such a woman? 🥴.)
When I met her 32 years ago, the above descriptors were unknowns.
I’m finally free now, and on the road recovery finally. One thing...as honorable man who was loyal and dedicated to the wrong woman for 32 years....”What the heck do I know about being single and being by myself?!!!!...🥴🤪😂
I guess I’m going to find out.🤔
This is great advice. Divorced after 22 years was difficult and although sad it’s the best decision I made for my health. I started exercising and have lost 90lbs and going strong. I have done all of the things Iyanla mentions in this video and more. Life goes on. We don’t die from love or divorce. We move on in grace. It’s hard work and worth it.
Rosario Borboa, going through this now, thank you ! It’s nice to see that’s it’s possible
Way to go on your weight loss!
After 15 years and still no marriage I quit. Not building a financial nest egg I am through waiting on him. It is my time to make the move to leave the relationship hopefully on good terms. This is living today one day at a time for me. Happy New Year
Praying for your strength 🙏
@@yvonnehutson6676 i get one point but not building a "financial nest" is up to you BOTH not just him.
I just left my relationship of over 5 years and of course I’m feeling raw and it’s so painful. I know the mistakes I made but he made worse ones. Now he’s apologizing, sending me texts every day. I wish he would leave me alone. After watching this I’m going to give him the 30 day no contact order. It’s what I need right now. Thank goodness he’s not on social media either.
I had the same problem…he said we would get married after 2 Years…he. Wanted to Make sure we’d last…7 years later…nothing …I’m gone 2/6/21
@@carenallen5841 15yrs mmmm
That is so true! The arts have greatly contributed to my healing. I have lost weight, a new hairstyle, and have absorbed myself in the arts. Concerts, museums, and all other sorts of things. I have met new people and done a lot of things. The next step is the updating of my home. New bedding, pictures are about to be hung, and some new furniture are coming my way too! Thank you, Iyanla. I appreciate you! Be blessed, Sis! :-)
Its been 4 days since my 11yr relationship ended. Just so hurt. Know it was coming and for the best but it doesnt make it any easier. Thank you Iyanla.
I pray you found happiness!
I'm from a 11 year relationship also, this is painful.
just released a 16yr marriage! I did get closure and attonement as well as forgive for myself and him. I chose to leave. I loved him "us" to leave so we can make space for what we need down the road in a mate. I wanted a more spiritual connection we didn't have. I became thirsty for a deeper kind of love I couldn't find or develope in us. I was doing all the work and he was resisting. So, I let him be him and moved on! I feel so much lighter already! My spirit was so ready to move on that I was excited to get out!
I can relate to this. How are you now?..
Amen
This is perfect! My 10 year marriage ended in 2012. I decided to ended. We've been physically apart since 2016. It wasn't until then I realized I was still hurting from everything. We have children too so I have to communicate with him. Im reliving the pain from my marriage over and over. It feels like I'm being stabbed over and over. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I made a conscious decision that I wanted to heal! I'm so thankful for Iyanla's advice! I'm working on forgiving my ex and myself!
Iyanla, you spoke to my spirit today. My husband of 30+ years died in 2016 and I've been feeling like I just want to just drop everything and start somewhere altogether new, but then I start thinking about my age, and leaving the home we shared for over 20 years. It's just that it seems like there's always something to remind me of him here and I should take that leap of faith. Also, thank you for the "hallelujah truth"! God bless you.
Hey Andrea
Just got out from 8 yrs relationship and glad i found this video.Thank u, u been very helpful...
I just had to leave my marriage of 10 years back in Dec. of last year, In order to gain my sanity!
Look into narcissistic personality disorder videos. You were dealing with a narcissistic. An organic portal being. They are empty on the inside and only cause confusion and drama.
I KNOW the feeling! I NOW have PEACE.
God is Able
How do you feel now bro?
Yes in process of leaving my husband of 11 years. Divorce will set me free 😊
Thank you. My ex walked out on me suddenly after 30 years together. In the blink of an eye he was living the 'perfect' (his words) life with somebody else. The pain has almost killed me, twice. Your words have helped so thank you.
Also, loving condolences to you on the loss of your daughter. I have been through a lot but I cannot imagine your pain on such a deep and sad level. Love and best wishes to you and thank you again. XXXX
Hare Bell I've been in a relationship for almost 10 years..3 young children (one teen from someone previous) and found out today that he needed to be "free". Our relationship has been so dysfunctional that I got used to it and accepted a lot of things I should never have. Now that he has gotten caught he needs to be free...the pain is unbearable.
Hare Bell You are worthy...
GODS TIMING THE BEST TIMING!
After 23 years in a relationship and 22 years marriage it’s TIME to come out of that HORRIBLE PIT OF A UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!
Miss Iyanyla, you never cease to amaze me with your wisdom and advice. You are a blessing from God to all of us, thank you for the R spot.
After my 10year relationship I had to let go for better& I thank God for giving me strength and each step I take daily makes the healing process much better& Stronger.. 🙏🙏Thank you for this Video💕& Sharing your daughter story about broccoli....🙏🙏❤
More power to you!!
How did you move on?
Your voice alone gives me calmness and peace. It must be great to have an aunt like you
I'm watching this and crying.. Thank you for being here for us lyanla
You are sooo strong! You didn't shed a tear...I want to be strong like you...one day.
They say when u cry u are still hurting from it. Its ok to cry and get it out! Its the process! Everyone's process timeline is different. YOU WILL BE STRONG LIKE THIS ONE DAY😉
This video post was very helpful. I offer my sincere condolences on the loss of your daughter. I also lost my son in 2013 and ended my marriage two months later. I considered it a double death. Recovery hasn't been easy but I am in a much better place today. Thank you for this video mama Iyanla.
You really give people a better understanding of relationships thank you
Thank you I needed that after a three year relationship.
Its been 18 years of on and off with long term relationship. And today I talked and it was the ending. We have a 6 year old daughter and well I'm 4 months pregnant. So you can imagine the emotional wreck that I am. However I'm very strong woman and i know that with God by my side i will heal. And thank you Iyanla. Blessed.
is it my eyes decieving me or is it tru Iyanla keeps turning back the clock on age 5 more yrs back EVERYTIME i see one of her new vdos. looking younger and younger everytime lol beautiful! 😘😘😘😘 🤗
NatrulyVivaciousVegan Your eyes aren't deceiving you. Ms. Iyanla is looking better and better on each subsequent video.
When you living in your purpose
He left without trying to talk about our ugly fight. He walked away. Literally packed up His things , blocked my phone number, and found a place to drink again at a hotel ( he had a 2 month clean streak) and was so sad that happened .
I wish we could talk about what happened but I know it’s best that I don’t contact him anymore .
Love is letting go.
Iyanla, thank you for your wisdom and love.
Hope you are doing well.
I needed this so much today. Just had a 7 year relationship end. Thank you!
How are you recovering? Please share. Thanks
mind was 3 years. it ended today
@@charmm2773 If i may ask how are you now? Cause my bf left me after 4 years of being together...and im still very hurt
lamayapotatoes how have you been?
lamayapotatoes I went through the same situation, but I’m a 14 months post break up.
Iyana, you have such a soothing voice and your words are so wise. I am 9 months out of an 18 year marriage, luckily I am almost out the other side of the bad times, this certainly helps. There are not many videos that deal with ending a long term relationship. This was so helpful.
How are you doing? No one seems to understand that the person literally feels like a part of you? I have been married for 17 years and I just found out her was cheating last month. I feel lost, how did you cope?
I mean he, we have 5 children I feel like my life is a lie
I didn't cope for a very long time!!!! I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, was anxious and upset all the time. But I didn't like how that felt so I looked for help on channels like this, found things to do that I enjoy to keep my mind of things and make me feel empowered, and one day just out of the blue I felt "normal" again and it made me happy and made me want to stay that way and not return to the miserable state that I had been in. So I try not to let myself get sad about my situation because I do not want to sink back into that despair. It takes hard work and self discipline to rise above everything, especially when it feels like you have been tossed aside for someone else. When you get discarded and your spouse has someone else already lined up it does make you feel like all the years you had together were a lie. that the feelings they professed to have were a lie. But you just have to cherish the good times you had together and the time when you truly believed you had a genuine love. That was real and that existed. Many people are unlucky and never get to experience love at all in their lifetime. So you just have to appreciate that someone did love you once. Enough to want to marry you and have kids with you. Things have changed now. Accepting that things have changed is the key to moving on I think. Don't get me wrong I still have tears now and then, but they pass much more quickly and I recover much more quickly than before.
Sheree Findon
Thank you
Sheree Findon Thank-you for sharing your empowering words. They have helped soothe me a bit more. Lots of love to you and your journey. I pray all is continuing to be well with you, your heart and your spirit.
Out of a 3 Yr relationship. Getting off social media. Ty.
LaMargo Brown that’s the best thing...this social media can be very toxic to say the least
If i may ask how are you doing now? My bf left me out of a 4 year realtionship... and it's really hard right now..
I turned off all my social media
Its been a few days since my break up with my ex. The pain has been the hardest. This video has put me on the path of healing. Thank you
So timely , ending a 27 year marriage. So sad
Mickey O 😥
This is my 1st video omg I love you and how straight you talk, my bf kept breaking up with me after minor fights making me insecure and he never would talk accountability your video has helped thank you I'm now a subscriber
Sounds like my ex... I’m sorry you’re going through this I hope you’re doing better 💗 My ex and I broke up today and I feel like garbage
@@AutumnHaunts I'm so sorry my ex got in touch yesterday of course it was my fault then his ex wife's fault omg the shit he came off with I'm beginning to see I'm better of without him I told him all my feelings and he's the only 1 to fix things not me this time. Still feels awful I hope your ok
@@lisa_mc_1238 your story touched my heart 💓 and I will be glad to know you
She looks so pretty , her whole look is spot on. I love her advice and I love her transparencies. This definitely is needed because moving on is so tough the longer you are in the relationship seemingly...don't know the actual outcome in God's hands.
Acceptance was the hardest part for me... with time and my wilderness I found a true meaning of life 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🎤🎤🎤🥰🌈🌈🌈❤️🎤
After my grandmother passed in front of me...my guy of 8 years held me down...then he dropped dead the following month. It's been 6 months now and I feel like an empty shell that's just existing. But when I do have a good moment, I try to hold onto it and let it build me up for when it's bad. It's so hard.
Omg Im sooo sorry for ur loss as I read those words u made me😢😫May u be comforted and learn to love on you and realize it was out of ur control and that u have so much to inspire others that will go through this as well!! Smh
Last week I was the one who got left. After 9.5 years. I had to accept. I am still struggling so much with all the emotions and moving on. You're video was a blessing and it gives me hope and strength I so need right now. Thank you, thank you so much for this
VivaLaZena we are in the same situation..
After a month, I am still struggling. I'm here for you if you need support
I'm in the situation where I have been engaged with him in dec. Suddenly on feb, i know he lies to me about his bad behaviour that i cant tolerate. I beg for him to change before married happen, but he doesn't want to. Because of that, i take a decision to break up with him. I gave the closure but i said that i still love him and i want to come back with him if he had change. 5 days after we broke up, he constantly contact me and beg for 2nd chance, i trust and give him that, he says he need 5 months to change to become a better person, but 2 weeks later he give up and left me without closure and explanation. It just so hurt much more than 1st breakup because he left me without reason and i just found out he is seeing new girl. I knew that in that 2 weeks we constantly arguing, and fighting but i clearly say that i still love him and want him in my life.
I see alot of mistakes were made here... expectations, not knowing your worth. Begging someone to change, wont help anyone. You can still love someone and not be with them. You know the saying.. if you love someone, let them go. Focus on yourself girl. I f he wants to go, fine. We deserve better.
I am struggling so much...I just want to be back with this person and feel they have moved on... I can't stop crying I can't listen to music, I hate being alone cause it worse.
Someone also left me
Because I'm not white man
I have light brown skin
Loyalty ain't come from skin
I fell in real love with her
Who lives in florida
I can forgive her 10 thousands mistake
Godly woman never cheat on her man.
She didn't ever feel my pain
I came upon this video this morning right when it was needed in my life. Thank you so much Queen, I lost my king my soulmate my best friend of 21 years in 2017 and soon after my home to Hurricane Harvey. It's been a very rough 2 almost 3 years. I feel uplifted too keep moving forward and let go of the guilt of not being able to save him and realize it was a natural cause and time for his transition. I just want to say thank you for your words and accepting the energy and blessings from the ancestors that you passed on to us. Peace and blessings. Ase'
For me is excercise like there is no tomorrow
That sounds like it would be good for every!!
Thank you miss Iyanla for sharing this precious information. I was here laying in my bed crying because the holidays are coming and I began to miss my ex constantly. So I came on TH-cam and typed how to get over a relationship and your video was the first video came up. Thank you for sharing I really needed this.
I am learning to walking in my truth after 30 years thank you.
Thankyouuuuuuuuu currently pacing the floor to keep tears back. My first boyfriend broke my heart at 18 I promised myself I wouldn't let my heart get broke again @21 I met my now ex we moved out of state together and he was my first longterm relationship and my only friend 2.7 years later after verbally & physically fighting for the last time. I'm homeless and I'm heartbroken bless u . I hope I can continue to grow into a strong woman
Getting out of a 5 year relationship where we broke up actually, like five months ago. But we’ve still been seeing each other and talking almost every day and it’s just this wishy-washy sort of separation. I’m finding that it hurts so much more than just being completely separate because when he leaves it’s like my whole world crashes down all over again. Today I made the decision to finally MoveOn no matter how painful, no matter the guilt that I feel for trying to move on from the man I promised I loved the day I die… I haven’t felt this type of pain since my mom’s suicide
It's almost 3 months since my break up and for some reason I'm still going strong. Maybe I'm one of those strong black women or just got tired of being treated like dirt by my husband. Thank u for more inspiration Lyanla
Romayne Banker I was like that, it didn’t hit me till I was 6months out. Then I fell apart in the middle of Madison square garden; folks looking at me snot running down my nose and the ugly cry.. sitting on the floor. I wish I gave myself the time to unpack bc honeeeeyyyy if you ignore it .. it will find you. I forced myself to keep going to just keep being strong for my kids. After that day I think I cried for a week straight. That’s when I knew I had to acknowledge it. I’m happy for you if you did all the work already lol I had to learn the hard way.
@@jasminforever2527 same way for me..3months was doing so good..until 5 to 6 months I lost it..how are you doing now?? Is it getting any better?
I'm leaving a relationship with someone who I was married to and dated. It lasted 16 years! They were a sociopath. I lost everything material and spiritually. The scars left damaged not only me, but my children. When I have a good day, without grievance, I have nightmares! I'm limited about what I can do to distract me. I have good moments and bad moments.
Hello. Thank you this - it felt like an in-depth, intimate, friendly therapy session and you explained everything with examples and in detail... Just what I needed. I'll definitely be back. I got broken up with 3 months ago; over 6 years of relationship, i loved her very much, always went out of my skin to make everything better & i'm feeling very lonely, wasted and used. This video gives me some basis to try not to reach out anymore and be good to myself. Thank you. Please let me imagine getting a big comforting hug from you. Love, Kate.
OMG.. I keep watching this over and over bc that’s exactly what I needed to hear… THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Thirty five years married and 37 together. He says “I don’t want It.” Ok I saw it coming, but I was loyal to my vows. The thing about it, is, I had heard those words 21 years before and I let him come back. He was a nice guy, but not exactly the most exciting relationship. I was pretty lonely. So I can accept that he wants to go. In fact, I can help him because I am ready for something new. I am letting go, but it still isn’t easy. It’s best however, for my personal happiness now. I think it went too long! I think I can honestly say it’s ok. So here I go! What’s next?
I am coming out of a 17 year relashionship. Not by choice, i still love the man. But he has a drug addiction and we have kids. I HAD to leave. I guess now that i look at it. I choose to leave to give my kids a better life. It was a very dysfunctional relationship. I'd stayed longer than what I had to. I really appreciate all the in side you gave me.... I know I have to heal not only for me but for my kids.
I am loved Unfortunately, we share the same story!! 😔
Me also!
That drug addiction multiplied all of our other issues.
His alcoholism really hurt
Mine had sex addiction. He wouldn't choose to get help 😢
After a 7years relationship,I have been struggling with how to handle myself. I would block and unblock him, sending him messages of how hurt I was hoping that he would see them and reply but sadly It didn't happened. Today I feel better listening to this. I hope to heal completely and be able to love again......
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*Listening to you is like listening to your favourite aunty. Thank you so much for this Iyanla.💜❤*
I been in a 6 1/2 years relationship with 2 kids involved.. I left because of he was living life like he was single ..and wanted to talk to other females especially his exes ..I was hurt I gave him 2 chances n I don't wanna go bak I cry n cry and it's been 2 months now ...and I'm still crying kuz he moved on like it was nothing made me question did he eva loved me ...Lord please give me strength I still need help till today..I'm crying out for help to move on...
how are you now mama?
P.s. my piggy bank has been working for a long time to get to one of your Wonder Woman weekends from idaho. I know I will get there eventually so please don't quit doing them! Connecting with others like myself, who have an overwhelming desire to do the work but can't seem to get on your show (hahaha)...i mean who just get repeatedly stuck despite exhausting ourselves in every attempt to get better, is something I know will happen for me eventually and that I look forward to already. I've looked at the website many times and I was not aware of a payment plan option so I just got incredibly excited! You are such a lovely and loving woman. For someone who has made so many mistakes, I think I've always known that there was a meaningful and purposeful life I was meant to live. And I've just done everything to hold myself back from that. Your principles speak to my heart and my soul and I can't wait to meet other wonderful Wonder Women on similar Journeys someday.
My bf ended 6 year relationship with me after him moving back to his hometown for a new job. I was supposed to move in with him this June. I turned in resignation at work and was getting ready for move but he dumped me the day before my b-day, which is also June. No explanation, face to face talk, text nor email. 4 months after, I found the pic of him and a new girl on social media. Finding this picture is my kinda of closure because he was too coward to tell me he wanna end our relationship.
What makes this break up even harder is my sister passed away recently because of cancer.
I’ve been hurt and heartbroken from break up and loss of my sister but I believe I will get healed soon.
Have you forgiven him?
ButtahscotchKisses If I say yes, its gonna be a lie. I am in the process of trying to forgiving what he did to me. Honestly it is not easy but I hope I can do that soon...
Sending healing your way.
I needed this, I got a migraine w all this emotions.
Thank you thank you !!! 🙏🏼🌹
Needed to hear this to help my recovery and healing after a 5 year breakup sending you love !! ❌⭕️😘
i was broken up with after a year in my first serious relationship Not going to lye its been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through .
Going thru this right now
Same. Have you recovered I see you wrote this 2 years ago? How are you now, what did you do
Thank you so much, this really hit the spot after working on my own recovery from losing a 20 year marriage.
I really wished someone created a support group in each state for women. A group where we had monthly dates, yearly retreats, etc. Just a safe space to talk, love on, reintroduce ourselves, heal, or just be each other’s accountability partners.
i went threw a 26 year relationship with 5 kids and i promise you this made so much sense to me.....to hear it this way. i thought it was over for me..i went from a size 16 to a 5.....i really didnt wanna be here anymore. i had to do it for me ....thank you for this ..after loosing my dad....granddaddy....i never had a chance to have my grandfather walk me down the aisle.....nor my dad...waiting for this man to feel being a family ..time played me and i played myself....he is with the same person he cheated on me with for 26 years as we speak.....its only been 3 years since i told him give me your last name or let me go.....he left..but kept coming back forcing hiself on me...until i stood up for myself...even now its really hard ..i know im not gonna fix 26 years in 3 years but im working on it.
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Thank you I need to here this because I just decided to leave my 10 year old relationship. Thank you .
I needed this...it's taking me 12 years to truly get over my ex I had a child by...I'm learning to love myself again & not settle for less than what I deserve...hopefully God will send my future husband because I'm living for today❤
It's been 6 months for my 6 year relationship. The hardest time of my life & we have a daughter and once enagaed. Planning our wedding & everything. Plus we still live together makes it 10x harder for me
I’m 24 years old!! You are truly speaking to me... it’s hard.. I’m trying my best for my son and I... this shall soon pass
Never mind
May I ask ?
Wow your amazing 😉 I been in a 7 year relationship, & your making me feel better already
Thank you Iyanla for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I lost my mother in 2020 from Covid. I didn't realize that I was in mourning instead of grief. I will speak to a professional. It seems as if I have forgotten about myself and taking care of myself. I'm homeless now, but this is an opportunity to reach out and seek the right help for myself. Thank you so much.
God always send a message through this beautiful lady at the right time in my life! I am so grateful! 🙌🏼😘
Iyanla has a great stylist! Always looks so well put together and wonderful colors. Her message is always the BEST and just what's needed.
Looking beautiful Iyanla!!!❤️❤️❤️
You are a beautiful person, I am truly sorry for your loss, no relationship ending could be comparable to a mother losing her child, in my opinion . Thank you for your advice and kind heart and also reaching out to people who need help recovering from their losses.
Thank you so much for this topic because I'm going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage, which is half my life and everything you said is so true, love you and please keep the inspiration going and so sorry about the loss of your daughter🙏🙏
I broke up with my ex after 9 months.
I'm definitely grieving, I think I'm in stage 3, pleading stage. I'm thinking about the good memories that we shared, which is making me want to get back with him.
I know it my low self esteem talking, because I broke up with him for a reason.
Thank you Sister Iyanla, I needed to hear this.
My father passed away suddenly in 2015 a few days after my birthday. I moved into his house and tried to hold on to everything of his and had no room for my things. Slowly I came to realize I can't "hold on" to everything..it is so hard because I felt like I would forget him as crazy as that sounds. He was my best friend...my confidant. I'm still grieving but now I can remember all of the good things about him.
I feel u.
Iyanla I am suffering and it’s only been a relationship that was 1 1/2 years.
It was a really passionate for a while, then this issue of him not trusting me, imagining that I had other lovers, that I was sneaking around on the phone, couldn’t deal with me going out with friends, etc.it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. But underneath we loved each other,
I can’t remember when I felt this bad.
My biggest recovery was confronting my ex (who I left) about his feelings for me after 1 year of mourning and doubting my decision and hearing that he no longer loves me like a woman but loves me like a friend/person. It set me free and confirmed that I made the right decision.
I'm here for you
I did the same but marriage
Lyanla, thank you so much for your optimism about life. Thank you, for the words of wisdom and encouragement. God bless you, your daughter is now in a better place. My ex asked me last week for space (unexpectedly) after 5.5 yrs of relationship. We've done this before (space). I can't keep going back to the relationship whenever she feels ready. She's a widow with two kids. I helped her so much, and at the end I realized I'm NOT the problem. I know now co-habitated with a narcissist. It hurts, but I can't do this anymore. It's my fault for not recognizing the signs this woman needs major therapy. I pray to God, I'll be strong and move on. I need to heal. Take care everyone.
i need to learn how to let go of a toxic relationship that am in
How are you now?
You are one of my biggest motivation, admire you so much because you speak the truth without sugarcoating tell it like it is
I having been dating this guy for 8years now today he just told me he never loved me,it's hurt to know that he led me on for that long and really do hurt because I don't know how to move on
Its not easy figuring how to do something that we never prepare for. U have to remain to urself and learn to love urself by doing things u enoy to keep ur mind off of him as u realize u are the most important person in ur life ur process will begin and u will only accept what u deserve from this point on!!
you are so soothing to listen to. my bf of 6 years broke up with me mutliple times and begged for me back each time... and Im ready to finally move forward from this pain