Why Narcissists and other Toxic People Devalue Other People
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.พ. 2020
- Hate and Humiliation often go together.
#Hijackals--relentlessly difficult, toxic people--hate and humiliate to get the upper hand in relationships...AND to make you feel bad about yourself especially in front of other people. It’s nasty! Listen in to understand the double standards of enjoying watching other people be humiliated on Reality TV or Celebrity Roasts, yet hating to be the object of humiliation ourselves. Then, make better decisions about what to do about your relationship with a #Hijackal!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Why we laugh when other people are humiliated
- What "celebrity roasts" are really about and why you need to know
- How deprecating supposedly humor takes the heat off the speaker
- How hate and humiliation too often go together
- Clearly seeing why #Hijackals hate and humiliate
- Know why you cannot tolerate hateful comments and broadsiding humiliation from a Hijackal
- Schadenfreude: the tendency to take delight in the misery of others
- Throwing shade: clever and humiliating
#Narcissists and other #Hijackals hate to see you happy. They resent it and too often take swings at you--in every way--to take you down and make you as unhappy as they are inside. Yes, they may appear confident and in control, but inside they are conflicted and concerned every minute.
Hijackals work on the premise that making others feel small, miserable, angry, unhappy, and demeaned will assure and secure their power and control. Hence, they use hate and humiliation to accomplish that. Again, nasty!
If you are in a relationship with a partner, parent, sibling, or co-worker that you now recognize is based on underlying hate and the need and desire to humiliate, it's time to take action and get help. That is not OK on any level.
You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship based on honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability.
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* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
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If you're poor, sick and living amongst them with no way out; recognizing it is a start but coping when you know you're trapped is another thing. Desperate.
I understand your position, I too have no escape because I am poor but don’t despair because you are quite worthy. You are of value, and, smart, obviously you are because you have identified your situation . The way to win is your belief in yourself. When once you value yourself their stupid, pathetic and nasty behaviour becomes amusing. I have got to this position learning from TH-cam. Find Dr Ramani Durvasula, she is a registered Clinical Psychologist, specialising in narcissism. She is just lovely and I hope she might help you understand narcs. She has helped me enormously by just listening to her.
Thank you. Its crazy how straight up this is. These parasites need to be put on an island together. Away from us.
That would be a very disruptive "island" population, right?
Trapped with one another on an island, at least they can just do it to each other. Spin round and round forever. But I'm sure its not the same kind of supply. In the end you got to just say ... Fuck them!
Nichole Smith It would need to be an extremely huge island though, because there's literally millions of them! I've read thousands of comments on Facebook etc, then decided to cut right down, due to all the judgemental and downright cruel comments directed at people, which seem more common than the kind ones. I even reported a man recently, who posted graphic violence in regard to young people getting into trouble, yet he used to be a scout leader. I wrote that it's no wonder so many young ones have issues today with adults like him supposedly looking after them. 😥
I witnessed this during a Live show I listened to just several days ago on social media. A mother called in and attempted to humiliate her daughter whom the mother recently learned participated in the chat comments on the live stream. As the mother commenced to tell the daughter's very personal and private story in a most humiliating fashion I am proud to say that the very emotionally intelligent ladies in this live stream including myself quickly caught on and we were not having it. We lit up the chat calling out the mother for the abuser she was. It was clear that myself and most of the other ladies were not getting off on hearing this mother humiliate her daughter and put her most embarrassing moments on blast publicly on a live-stream going out to total strangers. We were concerned about the daughter and wanted to protect her as well as anyone else listening that might feel triggered by what they were hearing .. while her parent was throwing her to the streets. I am glad to say that our quick and vigorous response was able to get the host's attention and the mother was cut off from continuing her performance.
So sad that it happened, and so affirming that you all saw it clearly and took positive action. Great news! Well done!
They devalue because they do not have those blessings, talents, inborn gift. They will never ever be like their potential victims. They need to let down, to devalue, to humiliate in order to make themself look great against the background of their victims. Whenever someone feels to be devalued, no need to negotiate, argue, or try to solve the problem by another way. The best way is to set boundaries and run, if possible. Block at any platform, change the phone number. Never look back! 💪💪💪
When you see these patterns, traits, and cycles, it IS a very good idea to recognize that, if they wanted to change, they would have already. Most have no interest in change because they believe they are flawless and everything is someone else's fault. The very few who say they will change, only do so for a hot minute to appease you.
However, I have had clients who came to me and had what we call "Hijackal fleas." They realized that they had taken on some traits of a narcissistic parent or partner, and want rid of them. Good news, but rare!
I Thank God for Videos like this. I would be completely living in the dark if the topic of narcissist would of never been spoken of. I was completly lost trying to figure out what was going on in my life since a little girl to 57 years of my life.This demon is being exposed for every disgusting thing it is. My healing process has recently started and I'm determined to crush the enemy at his game and never allow myself to ever be punked by a narcissist and yes its fairly new to me now I have tools to help me by watching videos like this. I wish every one who watch this video who is in need recover from this demonic abuse. Thanks for the posting of this video
You're so welcome.
It is such a difficult thing to live with #Hijackals, partners, parents, or siblings.
You may find it more empowering to focus on your healing and moving in a positive direction than on "crushing" him. When you focus on him, he is still taking up a lot of real estate in your head. Just a thought. I wish you well.
@@ForRelationshipHelp Thank you for your expertise on this subject. Im learning what I need to do to have a prosperous life.
I had a high jackal multiple ones attacking me because I was excited about leaving a relationship where they was always putting me down stressing me out and also trying to humiliate me in so many ways. It was as if they was trying to keep me in this box and act like my life would not be good unless I had them in my life and was in agreement with what they wanted and felt i should be doing. The opposite of being in agreement or even speaking my mind always involved a negative reaction or response from them. Being happy and know that their will for sure be a light at the end of the tunnel once I'm freed from these people only brought more negative and emotional abuse. Like you said in this video they act like my happiness, peace and joy should come from them when in truth all I got was stress, depression, anxiety and ext. I refuse to allow these people to condition me to respond to their abusive stressful behavior and unwelcome presence by using passive aggressive behavior with hopes that I would turn around and lie and say some fake stuff like I really enjoy them in order to make them feel good and give them some sort of narcissistic supply. I can't wait until they are gone God knows I can't wait. Even worse is when this kind of mistreatment comes from family members because you are happy and have found respect, peace and joy else where but they act as if they are suppose to be the source of your happiness. I believe that's really toxic when people in your family become so miserable that they will try to use other people you engage with to belittle you and attack you than act as if they haven't gotten there hands dirty but you got the gut that has told you the truth behind it plus a God who will also bring to light what is dark and hidden sometimes the biggest disrespect and attacks can come from those closet to you because they believe they should be in control or have a say in your descion making. They believe you should play small and become a doormat.
I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing that. They DO want to keep you in a box: THEIR box. When you step out of it, they rage at the possibility of not being able to control you. That's where the nastiness really shows itself.
You're right. They do believe you should play small and become a doormat. Further, they believe that they have the right to control, manipulate, and use guilt to do so. Once you see the patterns, though, you can extricate yourself, even if it takes awhile. It starts with a decision to do so!
@@ForRelationshipHelp Totally agree with your description of it as being "their box" they want to keep you in. Also, in this video, you brought up how they would make indirect insults. I laughed at one like that and said, "Instead of making insults at me under the guise of that being about someone else, why don't you have the guts say that directly? Haha" which caused them to fly into a massive rage attack. It was a process getting out of that former friendship. But I finally did it!
I just got rid of a male friend like that. Always had to bring up the topic of the ex-gf that I've pretty much been away from for years. They would always be highly critical of new women too
It's a breath of fresh air hearing it put plain and true.
So sad people have to be so evil
One day the abuser will answer to God for the evilness …..such as family members
I love these commentary about the why certain people are. Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Insanely accurate!!! Very much appreciated!!
Glad it was helpful!
I just watched a couple of your welcome videos, which I haven't seen before. I realise that this is an old one, but it was hard to resist mentioning that I used to think that something was wrong with me because I couldn't handle watching the roast type shows, or even comedies with a lot of put downs. I remember saying something about a particular show to a narcissistic family member, who replied that it's tongue in cheek. I also remember my mother being happy when others were down, or sick. She even said that she couldn't wait until I'm sixty the last time I spoke to her, which is extremely sad. 😥
Yes, they take delight in other people's pain. It is a symptom of their need for superiority. You're right. It's sad.
I wish I had seen this sooner. I could have avoided incurring so much additional damage.
Have people like this as customers where I work and they are demanding and rude. I need to find a different job because I'm tired of putting up with it.
It is so bad for your health. It's not worth it to put up with it. You'll pay for it by way of unexplainable health problems.
People fellowTi’s, empaths ,warriors of light, chosen vessels, apparently this topic is being recognized the only question is how and why these parasitic type of people are emerging and they all possess the same NPD syndrome its a mixture of genetics are spiritual nature between two kinds of people!!
It's actually more nurture (or lack there of) and social/family environment that contribute to the development of #Hijackals. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is rarely diagnosed unless ordered by the courts as folks who would be diagnosed believe they are flawless and don't need the help of a mere mortal!
Thank you ✨🧡✨
This is the story of my life
I'm sorry to hear that, Mary. I hope that you recognize that it is all about THEIR problems, and not YOUR fault. That's a big realization ,right?
I love your analysis and you help me soo much understand narcissism which I have been dealing with my daughter for 30 years now- looking for your analysis on why they hate however not following your logic in regards to celebrities and Roasts/comedy ridicule etc. - these people like Joan Rivers a comedian - it’s ridiculous to compare them to bullying and meanness- celebrity roasts and comedy are entertainment to make us laugh- has nothing to do with inflicting pain- however a person attacking someone just to attack is a completely different thing- so I’m not following your opinion about people not being able to laugh anymore - if someone jokes with me I laugh - I’m smart enough to know the difference if someone is being mean and hateful or just kidding - BTW- anyone who chooses to be in the public eye especially celebrities deserve to get criticized because their money, income and success is because of our money and that’s the price they must pay and learn to deal with- the narcissist is mean and hateful for NO REASON- that is true hatred and comedy has nothing to do with it
The hijackals hate themselves and aren’t capable of caring about anyone else
Story of my life as well
Work place bullying
They love to humiliate you, then go play their poor Femme Fatale performance for all your friends and family to see. B.S.C.
I need help, because I really do love him, but the effects he has on my relationship with myself I do not love
Hi! Most people need help to move away from #Hijackals. You're right. They completely color the ways in which we view ourselves, and that is not a good thing.
If I can help, let's talk: BeAClient.com
In the olden days they had lynching . Some People think hurting others is fun. Sad but true.
In olden days, things were more primitive. Steering clear of Hijackals is the best response when you realize the person is nasty, competitive, controlling, and/or manipulative.
Historical trauma in our coded behavior in our DNA perhaps