How To Stop Going In Circles: Breaking Generational Cycles Of
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- #trauma #generationaltrauma #epigenetics
Generational cycles or "circles" tend to happen in families where patterns develop over time and family members become complacent in the roles they play. These cycles have a way of derailing an individual's life goals if the generational trauma or generational cycles/circles impact an individual family member's mindset, behaviors, romantic interest, motivation, and even life perspective.
In the previous videos I discussed generational cycles/circles within families and the patterns I have seen in professional and personal settings. These generational cycles/circles can negatively influence generations for years within a family. It's only when the cycles/circles stop or are "broken" that things can move forward in a healthy way.
In today's video, I will be discussing ways to start the healing process from generational cycles/circles that may have negatively impacted you.
Additional resources on this topic:
1. www.acamh.org/...
2. • 8 Signs Of Family Prob...
3. www.apa.org/mo...
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*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicideprevent....
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---Contact me------
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 12 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
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As tears roll down my eyes, I find this comforting, I appreciate everything you do and the information you provide. It brings value and clarity to my world and to my thoughts and feelings.
I've benefited tremendously from your videos. Thanks 😊 🙏 😊
❤😭Thank you for these kinds words. I'm so glad to hear that you are benefiting from these videos. That's why I do them and it's wonderful to know they can bring comfort, peace, and healing at just the right time.
@@TherapistTamaraHill yes it is very healing. To be able to understand why I have certain behavioral patterns and how it's been something that has been passed down from my ancestors. Granted, it is A LOT of work and at times I want to give up but watching your videos and having that guide to point me to the right direction just makes the day more brighter. God bless you 🙏 ❤ 🙌 Tamar
Amen!❤😊 What an honor. Thank you.
And God bless you too!
Generational cycles in my family involves the same mindset through generations. It's frustrating because no one wants to change
The question is do they want to or rather, do they feel the need to change?
I've learnt the hard way, we can only change ourselves and not others.
You can't change ANYONE else. You can only do that for yourself. Fast and pray for other people. That is all that you can do.
Then you must break it
Thank you for watching guys!!
Tam this is so off topic, first off I thank you for the knowledge you bless us with weekly. But your hair is so beautiful and thick! I love it! Thank you for what you do, we need this.
Thank you so much!
🤭🤣
I love to use Indian healing clay. The best deep treatment on the market.
Thank you so much. You're really clear. I'm benefiting from your videos :)
Sounds helpful, I'll be watching. 💖👀👌💖
I realize this is 2 yes later, however, I just stumbled upon this thought process. I have worked with different themes in therapy throughout the years, especially trauma/PTSD and I was not familiar with generational trauma term.
Oddly enough, my estranged sister sent me a video on FB (which I check maybe 1-2x/yr) that discusses this topic and praising the person it was sent to for breaking the cycle. Video was great-sounded a lot like my journey.
Of course, I came to you to find answers, as I appreciate the time and effort you take to make these videos and share your methods with us.
The most insidious piece, for me, is that the damage caused by intergenerational cycles/trauma and how that trauma is overlayed in denial. Such as...it doesn't exist or it wasn't that bad.
Yes, good point. I do agree with this and this is why this topic tends to be a highly requested one. Sadly, denial is a defense mechanism used by families who lack the skills to talk openly, cope, and connect on a healthy level.
I’m so excited to watch this ☺️
I was too!
My brother because hes Full Blown Co Dependent .Its really SAD no progress just regression ....
I'm sorry. That's tough for sure.
Can't wait 👍🏽
💖
I broke generations and generations of toxic behaviour in my family. A mother that allowed her daughters to be abused by a stepfather and hated them. I ended that! A father that hated her own child and humilliated her whenever he could; I stopped it. The burden has been heavy but it ends with me. My 26 year old son is the new legacy and the new path. But it had to end with me.
The ah-ha moment for me was when I became a new parent and my narcopath mom wanted to come visit. I asked myself if I trusted her alone with my child. Of course she would try to smear me. It’s simply who she is. I started to see how difficult it is to recognize intergenerational toxicity when you’re born in it. I couldn’t break the intergenerational chains for my benefit, however it became clearly required to break away as a new dad.
Very interesting comment. Thank you for sharing this. It is a true challenge to break the chains of intergenerational trauma with a parent. It takes courage and true understanding/wisdom/guidance to find the right path and take it.
Can you do a vid on confusing parents that will neglect there kids because they see them and go you were happy . You looked okay . But as the child that is now an adult thinks no I wasn’t but if I did express being unhappy then parents would go critical and say things like oh harden it or don’t be a sissy so then the child will act numb or pretend to be okay . So really confusing that the parents get what the want by not having to put much in like money and time because the have there children accepting little by acting okay to avoid criticism. And then you can’t say anything as an adult because the parents will say you were fine you kids were good .
This sounds like an important topic. Can you please clarify what the subject matter is? Thanks!!
@@TherapistTamaraHill kinda lazy parenting .Parents in there mind think there parenting but there not doing anything but giving roof over the head and a meal at night . But it’s as basic as it gets . You can’t cry say anything but look fine . And your so unhappy inside . You grow up and when you bring things up they are shocked as they go you were fine you looked happy . But you tell them but you would punish us if we were otherwise so you got your own way by being able to put no parenting in and getting children to make your job easy by just acting like robots.
@@Marie-vo8dr you explained what I’ve been feeling . All of those things you listed is my life . High school was so lonely . There must be away to describe this than lazy parenting. When I was forty I said to my mum how come you never seen me with a friend (because I didn’t have any ) I used to hide during break times and walk in to class late so others couldn’t see me with no one . I said isn’t it odd that for 7 years you didn’t see me with a friend and you didn’t question that? My mum wouldn’t even get up in the morning. She wouldn’t ask her 3 daughters if we needed underwear . She brought us a birthday present and Christmas but it was strange because if you didn’t ask for stuff you needed as your gift you wouldn’t get it unless you did babysitting and could buy yourself. We had to cram an entires year worth of clothes in a small budget . I would get a t shirt and jeans . So then my mum would go good you got clothes I don’t have to spend anything and keep her money . She didn’t see this was a problem because She did buy clothes . What about winter . What about socks . What about school etc. I was the only girl at high school that had no tights so I went and brought them myself in my lunch break with babysitting money . I turned up to netball in the frost with just netball uniform while all the other girls had jacket . Gloves, socks and they looked so cool . I looked retarded. I was 16 could you imagine how that felt. My mum would go you got to do sports at school so I gave you opportunities. I said the school provides the uniform but what about how embarrassed it was for me to not have normal clothes. We went in one family holiday and at the age where looking cool was important age 12 . I thought finally we going shopping as we went to the city and walked around the shops. We stopped at hospice charity shop for second hand clothes. I died inside. Mum went how exciting and gave us girls $2 each . I did buy something she goes see what you can get for $2 that’s amazing . God it was awful I had to put my face on .yeah I look good thanks mum . Smile smile ...cry later tonight when no one loooking. If I had ov complained she would ov said well you not getting anything else and your loss . So couldn’t make a stand anyway . Now that I’m an adult I have this empty pit in my soul . Nothing I do and I believe in God and I pray to Jesus and that’s supposed to fill you up but it dosnt . I believe you have parents and caregivers for a reason so your soil will be nurtured and you can grow into a full adult .
Thank you for this video🤍
You’re welcome 😊
So my therapist wants to work towards exposure therapy after the new year. Have you done any videos about this in the past?
This is a good question Beth. Because exposure therapy is not my area of expertise I haven't ventured to explore this topic on the channel. We'll see...I might in 2021!
@@TherapistTamaraHillThank you so much Tamara, you know I'll be here and still learning from you and your wonderful work. You have been more helpful than you know. My therapist was amazed at how much I was able to understand her when she was talking about the impact of trauma and how it's effected me. She was pleased to learn that I have found somebody online to help me with the many things I've found so hard to understand whilst waiting for my 121 therapy. I think she was able to get just how important your channel has been because I couldn't have got this far without everything I've learned from you in the last 2 years. I don't think I would still be here if I hadn't found you on TH-cam. Thank you for this x
Thank you Beth💖💖
I'm really glad you are seeing a therapist and benefiting from the channel.
Thank you for this Tamara.
I'll try implement the advice into my life.
Can you please do a video about how to avoid engaging in escapism activities?
Thank you
You're welcome! And great suggestion! I will add this to my January 2021 videos list!!
@@TherapistTamaraHill Great! Thank you
@@angelphalane399 you're welcome!
Your hair looks so beautiful, so thick 😍😍😍
Hi Tamara, I have a ? for you about what you've said about building familiar insight. What if the family is so deep in intergener. trauma that there is nobody in it without significant toxic patterns? Have you met an example when somebody needed to step back being available for such famil or extended family? Appreciate your thought on it.