Your Ex Is Ignoring You Because Of How They FEEL About You
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ย. 2024
- Your ex is ignoring you because they're confused. Many times exes are confused after a breakup and don't know what to say or do. Often times, exes will ignore you because they don't really know what they want yet. Sometimes they are still processing how they feel and it causes them to stay in a state of inaction and confusion.
Get Craig's help personally for yourself at: www.askcraig.n...
Get Victoria's help personally: www.askcraig.n...
Get Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.n...
Do Craig's in depth Creative Healing Course: courses.askcra...
Craig is podcasted on all major platforms. Download today!
Add Craig on Instagram @CoachCraigKenneth
Subscribe to Craig's second channel @craigkennethbreakupessentials
Get help from myself or Coach Victoria on my website AskCraig.net
Mr. I belive i got into a rebound relationship from My girlfriend who dumped me for at least a month. We last about four month, and ive been in NC since we break up... i miss her, so much. We had problems since the beginning but we had good times too, i'm devastated because after all she is a good person who cared for me, and was most of the time very lovely, but she was confused too. She said every time that she wanted this to work out, but It was too hard from both of us, for my insecurity and herd. It si possible that someone fall in love in a rebound relationship?
I had to rewind that part about "do not be friends with your ex". Ive lied to myself so many times and said i was ok with being friends because i would take that over having nothing. Being true to myself now I will never take that from anyone i love. It doesnt do them any good or me. Stay true to yourself.
How is dismissive avoidant not a diagnosable disorder? Just horrible. Putrid behavior.
I thought avoidant personality disorder was a real thing. I know that in my ex, a woman with BPD, she exhibited some alignment with being avoidant. I think the two disorders (assuming APD is one) tend to play together.
Avoidant personality disorder is a different thing, but much more intense. Typically people who have been chronically abused early on in life develop this disorder. Avoidant attachment is a much less intense pathology. Its a coping mechanism effectively, but seems much worse if you have an anxious attachment style.
Agreed
Honestly the guy in this relationship sounded way more selfish and poorly behaved than her. Typical pushy AP behavior.
Some of them probably just don't care but like Coach says that's usually a sign of serious issues. Good to know.
I can tell you her friends still hangout with me and one of them ask me "If she were to come up to you and want to work things out, would I entertain the idea of going back?" And I said to her friend "Yes and No. I would unless she has matured, if not, then I hope she does well in her life." Because here's the thing, If someone breaks up with me then goes to do rebound relationships just to get her mind off of me and the break up after a year together, its just disrespectful. I never treated her like shit. Nothing but love and care, but as of Coach Craigs last video, he was spot on regarding how my relationship was and ended.
I agree completely 👊🏽
👏🔥
my ex is a FA. I was in no contact for over 12 months and he showed a few signs that he struggled with the break up and missed me. So I moved away this summer and, yes I know bad idea, contacted him via letter if he wants to meet up and have a coffee. I know he is still single and nothing bad happened between us, during the relationship or after the breakup. He never answered and completely ignored me. He didnt even write back with " Sorry I dont want to have contact". 2 years of good relationship ( I was his first and only girlfriend and the breakup was because of typical FA reasons) and he cant even write me back via letter. I am really disappointed in him as a person.
I was discarded. He came back 15 months later, but now I feel like he’s trying 2 trap me in his cat & mouse game.
BUT too bad… I’m dating others now & am continuing 2 go forward with it.
I made the mistake of thinking he is an avoidant. Not going 2 “diagnose” anyone again. That cost me.
For me, excuses don’t matter. Do they consistently show up or not? Are they loving, transparent, kind & do they have my best interest at heart? Good. I’m in. Otherwise… off u go.
Facts 😄🤙💯💯💯
I had an ex come back 8 years later wanting to reconnect lol
They ignore you because they are not interested.
Or he wants you to become addicted to an emotional rollercoaster relationship where he has the upper hand via partial intermittent reward.
If he’s a dismissive avoidant they play this game even when they are interested. Normal healthy men do this when they are not interested.
Craig, I wished I had found your channel about 3 months ago. I’ve committed all the mistakes you spoke of! I lost him for good today. 😣
What if its not an ex. But a good friend you expressed feelings for.
Craig, as if every single sentence every single word of your blogs striking the cords and keyboard pins of my situation. The most poignant aspect of your lectures are not only your in-depth analysis but the sincerity and immaculate truthfulness in your demeanour that certainly more powerful than what you say. Thank you for turning up at right time . 🙏
Coach, very on point because i saw these points in my breakup a few yrs ago. Ive learned alot about avoidants. Took a while to know it wasnt me. Which is what she said at the time. Now i believe it.
My fa broke up with me very recently. She said her plate was too full and she was exhausted and overwhelmed. “Can’t show up for you like you show up for me.” No closure, no clarity. No understanding.
This means she felt she was losing her freedom and wanted to go slower
@@martinwhyment-cm1bn well I’m over it now but she was the one who pushed things to happen so quickly in the first place
Everyone else gets little bread crumbs and second chances but not me lol I go NC from the jump and get nothing for 5 months
If the guy had agreed to get a place together, I get the feeling she would have found something to object to in every place they viewed. That would then have placed the relationship in a limbo state and ensuring they both maintained a distance that was comfortable for the DA.
P.S. if you are going to drive past her house, then go all out and park right outside her window, sit on the bonnet and hold up a boom box blasting some Peter Gabriel. That should do the trick for sure ;-)
This message is incredibly helpful to an anxious person ❤
First thing I thought of when his anxiety went through the roof hearing she needed to figure out what she wanted was "primal panic". The course is paying off ❤️
How do you like The Creative Healing Course???
My dismissive avoidant ex left me 3 months ago. I've done no contact by the book and I've heard nothing. She moved on real quick leaving me traumatised.
How are you getting on now?
@rwentfordable turned out she was fearful avoidant. Not that it changed anything. I finally reached out after 5 months, although polite she was as cold as ice and no feelings. She said she could be friends but not more. I won't give her that satisfaction of using me as a friend.
@@droflivelife my ex is also a FA. I bumped into him like 15 months after the breakup (all time no contact), and he was also really cold. Dont know why.
I don’t think ignoring a woman works the same as ignoring a man. Woman want to be chased and they want you to show interest.
Mine moved on 24hrs later. Dumped me out of the blue. And I live next door. That's real pain
Had the first meaningful conversation with my ex since we separated 6 weeks ago initiated by her, we discussed what needs to happen for us to continue our marriage , a few tears from both of us, a heartfelt hug ended our conversation ( wife was picking up our children) wife wants to meet up next week and continue communication via texts, No contact is working ( we do see each other when kids come over ), as well as the workbooks thank you coach Craig, Victoria and the much missed Margaret
I can hypothesize about the girl here as I share her attachment style. We FAs believe due to childhood conditioning we will be betrayed. So if a dude asked me to move into HIS house (in his name, he has all control) I wouldn't consent either even if I was crazy about him. I'd assume something would happen & he'd throw me out. It's actually happened to me as well, just not with a BF. If it were MY house in my name, I'd probably be fine & chill with it.
Yeah, same. I'm a FA as well, and my ex broke up with me after we talked about our future plans for our relationship. I didn't want to move in with him in his house that he had bought with his ex girlfriend (in which she would still get into without even knocking). Also, his house was 40 minutes away from my workplace, it didn't make sense to me. So yeah, at first he was open to relocate, but he later changed his mind.
It seems very reasonable to me that she wanted them to get their own place.
Thanks Coach Craig! I’m currently working through the creative healing course and I’m learning a lot. Saving up for a session with you. I’ll see you soon!
How do you like the Creative Healing Course so far?!
@@CoachCraigKenneth I love it!! I’m doing it for about 45 minutes a day. I am so grateful that you consolidated your knowledge into an easy way to digest, and that Coach Margaret’s knowledge and experience has been saved for us 🩷 Her wisdom lives on. Plus, your cartoons make me laugh! 🤣 I usually watch the videos 2-3 times and I’m going through every single video on your channel to really learn and dive in so that I can grow. I’ve already done a session with coach Victoria and she was lovely! I look forward to meeting you soon!
She ask me not to message her with a 😭 emoji... i know thats a sign she struggling, and shes avoiding talking to me right now to gain clarity and heal herself. I accept that and i go do the same. I know she will contact me again because our story isnt finished
I think some people wait for the other party to write to them, especially the one who suggested the breakup or no contact. This person might not be ignoring but waiting.
Just time to move on...
I completely understand her. What this means is she didn’t like his house, maybe the style and wanted her own fresh memories to create. I had a guy offer for me to move in but he was messy, had zero style and picked houses that were cheaper in crappy neighborhoods. We weren’t romantic, only friends but even then I refused. Sometime you have to just start over in order to have a say. If the man stays in his place and you move in he’s entrenched in his habits he’s created in that spot. In order to get the guys mind to reset that there REALLY IS a woman in his house, they must find a new place together. It’s about power dynamics. I’m totally with her.
Aim for this:
Them: Regained their independence but feel confused after some time.
You: Thankful they are gone.
I don't think narcissism is all that rare because the only reason they say it's less than 10% is because it's so hard to diagnose when narcissists don't think they have a problem. They believe YOU are the problem.
10% is very high already
My confused ex broke up with me 2 months ago after his father passed away, then moved his mother (with whom he's fully enmeshed) in with him. We went NC, but he's been breadcrumbing me for the past month (sending me pictures of his dog, or videos of song we used to listen to together). At first, I was friendly, hoping we could get back together, but then I realized it was hurting me and I unfriended him on Facebook. He seemed surprised. I explained that I still had feelings for him, and that I need closure. He didn't reply. I feel like he probably wasn't trying to ignore me, like Craig said, he probably doesn't know what to say. It doesn't matter anymore though, I don't think the relationship is salvable. He's a mama's boy, and his mother is purely evil.
I've experienced the same. Finally gave up when I realized it was just hurting me with hope,...so I had to stop. Him just stringing me along with gifs or memes or remembrances while at the same time holding back. I could no longer take it BECAUSE my feelings for him never ended.
@@colleen5872 It's incredibly painful, right? I'm sure your ex and mine weren't intentionally trying to be cruel, but their behavior was cruel. It's hard for me to understand why they would do something like that. Would you say that your ex was emotionally immature? I think mine was. He also has very poor boundaries, and it makes it easy for him to disrespect other people's boundaries. It's like he doesn't understand what a boundary is. He also broke up with me very suddenly, 48 hours before the breakup he was talking about marriage and he couldn't shut up about how much he loved me. Then, I brought up my concerns about his mom moving it with him and he shut down completely. I don't think he really wanted the breakup, 2 days after he did it he texted me that he missed me and thought he may have done a mistake. I think he broke up with me because he chose his mother and he knew it wouldn't work out with me. Moving on is really hard... I cried for hours after I unfriended him.
@@colleen5872hope you are ok Colleen. It's not giving up.. More like lifting yourself up. Be kind to yourself. What for you won't go by you. You sound like you have a BIG heart.. Nothing wrong and a lot right with that. Best wishes and good vibes. Pete
SAME!!
@@peternall6566 thanks Peter. Needed to hear this today. It gets,harder the older one gets. But need to plow forward💜
This dude knows what's up 💯😎
Under what circumstance would you recommend being friends with your ex if you want her back? That slides in the face of almost everything you teach, being a friend and lying about it because don’t get it twisted, you want romance so being a friend is lying to yourself and it’s lying to her. It’s not being true to yourself. I just don’t see a situation where it’s ever good, if you want them back
That would be a very specific situation that I would only consider knowing all the facts in a coaching call
I dont understand why she didnt want to move in to his place and then eventually get their own place together? Unless she was scared of moving in together at all.
I forgot to ask this during my coaching. But if you broke up with the person because they said they're confused and didn't feel they have romantic feelings for me, technically I would still be the dumpee and would go no contact, right? In other words, I broke up with them, but was still the heartbroken one.
Same
My ex is a widower and didn’t really heal properly after the death of his wife
He has sent me mixed messages but some people say he does know what he wants, it’s just not me he wants. If a person really wants to be with someone they will not behave the way he’s behaving
You have spoke very gracefully there my friend and in your words I do concur. Good luck out there
Mines reached out and said we done get over it I haven’t said nothing to him since January
That's weird. Have you posted anything or done anything to provoke this reaction. If not, I think that's him trying to get your attention.
@@ConfidencePTI agree, unless she pestered him that sounds like projection to me on his part.
No I haven’t said nothing I gave him his break up / he calls about our daughter but before he lies about bringing things I’m sorry but we was together four years we have a porch if he wanna do for her be about it and show her she’s only 2
Coach Craig and Victoria, have you ever heard of a dumper telling the dumpee that they are seeing someone to make the dumpee jealous or any other reason when there are no signs of a third party?
Yes they lie to get rid of you and you move on.
but if they are in a new relationship 2 months after the break up. the answer that they moved on and just don’t care anymore thats why they ignore you? feels hopeless now...
I’m in no contact lol 😅
Relationships are just too much work and a pain in the ass! Accepting selfishness and loneliness is better than these games. Join the dark side
Never. I’ll never turn to the dark side
My ex dumped me like over a year ago
I tried to fix things but nope
She left
I begged and pleaded
She ghosted me
I dealt with the pain in an unbearable pain
And i managed to heal a little bit
Met new friends
Met a new crush
Im doing good you feel me
Then boom
One day i get a dm from one of my friends that are also her friend
That she is going to take revenge on me
I shrugged it off
Then the next day i get my email account hacked and i lost most of my online hardwork.....
If you can..can you explain why sometimes the dumper wants revenge even though they were the one dumping the dumpee??
Thank you...
She reached out two days ago with a pretty long email ranting about her situation and saying she misses me and she wants to be friends and be honest but she's worried that she's just lonely and using me. I responded the next day. She read it and hasn't responded yet
What did you respond?
@@neerajgupta7532 i gave response to each paragraph/point she brought up. i was not overly eager or reactive, just genuine and with good intentions. i told her that i've had time to undertake accountability/clarity and i'm excited for the future, and that i want the same for her, and then i said let's stay in touch. she has not responded yet but she did accept my follow an followed me back on instagram.
What did you say in your response?
@@julesa2894 i gave a full, heartfelt and genuine response, and she responded with the same. looks like we're gona try to fix things. 3 months of crying every day. i do want to say though, whether things work out with her or not, we're not meant to rely on the other person to feel okay. the best path forward is to be secure in yourself regardless of your ex. move on, if they come back they come back, if not, someone else is out there for you but you HAVE to fight for it.
This very common. Shes dealing with emotions and feeling bad also. The lets be friends makes their decision easier... and doesn't make them feel so bad.
Very different to my avoidant who never could say I love you, moved in with me and broke up 2 weeks later from an amazing connection, we were talking, marriage, kids just days before. She had ghosted me since.
Oh, they are so good at living in the fantasy world, they like to dream about a future, but dont act on it. My mother, brothers and ex are all avoidants. My mother would often futurefake a better future for her family, but nothing ever came to fruition. It was easier to stay on the sofa, or date random guys. She always ran away from responsibility. Your future kids are better off. Responsibility lies heavy on their shoulders. My mom bitches and moans whenever I ask for a small favour, but she never pays when we are sharing costs in the family, she avoids a lot, and lets everybody else make sure things work out. So we are not in touch much anymore, it is so much work to spend time with her. She never reaches out, and when I do decide to visit her I need to buy coffee, food etc. She never has food in the house. So I just feel I need to spend 50-60 bucks each time, buying something. Often times when I am half way there she will call me and ask me to do shopping for her. so need to get off the subway, go to a shop and then get to her house. It is so annoying. She never visits me, is overly critical. and just pushing me and everyone away one moment, then feels sad and complain nobody talks to her.
This story is my life rn 🤣
C C K: I think she is honest; she has a point!!
How many times can NC work?
i'm an anxious and my gf is more of an avoidant and the 1st time she said she wanted a "break", she totally shut down and ignored all of my calls and txts so i decided to go NC and a week later she called me back and we got back together.
Now a week ago we had an argument and she said "she cant do this anymore cos we are always arguing over the same thing and i will never ever change". Knowing that she will shut down and ignore me everytime we fight, i decided not to bother her and go NC again for the second time...
but its coming to a week now and I fear this time my chances are slim... 😟
It may be you are being punished with silence.
@@camellia8625 u are probably right... tomorrow marks 4 month of silence
Does no contact work if I messed up? I made a rude comment and there has been other times comments I made she felt disrespectful. I love her and I apologized, some of them were misunderstood but my main question is…if your ex feels disrespected and broke things off. Is there a chance no contact will work? I must clarify she has broken up with me several times in the past but always came back. I feel like this time she means it. I’m far from perfect but I was a good partner and I hope she reaches out.
Same here. I disrespected my ex a few times, but I always apologized after. He broke up with me because he thought I was being disrespectful (which I wasn’t initially). But after the break up I was being disrespectful and begging for almost two weeks. I asked him to block me on everything so I highly doubt he’s coming back. He also loves to blame others for things he did. And him too was being disrespectful at some points of our relationship, but he downplays what he did. I know it’s been 6 months, but update?
The lady from the story seems like a fearful avoidant to me. I'm one and I can absolutely relate to her behaviour and mindset.
I want to message her so badly. She messaged after 25 days then we stopped talking after afew days. Another 2 weeks later now in no contact
I commented a bit about three years ago on your videos and at the beginning of the year my avoidant ex asked me to start hanging out again and since then at least once a week we'll hang out and sleep together. I've enjoyed the time with him even if its for that but I'm starting to notice him hiding his phone from my view. We haven't talked about being together again or being exclusive so hes allowed to talk to other girls but im starting to feel very hurt by this and i want to ask him what we are doing but i dont want to be rejected again by him even though i feel like that's what is going to happen. I love him so much and i dont want to let him go again but i think i have too. Any advice on how to have this type of conversation with him?
We also help each other out with tasks in our lives but he never texts me. We still see each other daily because we work together so that's also why I'm scared to have this conversation and make it tense at work. I just wish I knew what he was thinking and how he feels about us.
It sounds like you have been demoted to FWB and I strongly suspect he is seeing someone else.
I maintain no contact I.e I never initiate anything but she continues to pushes the friend thing even though I’ve told her I don’t a friendship. On Monday she text me she was thinking about me a lot and 4 days of nc but then on Wednesday when I said I didn’t want to be friends she said that’s all she wanted and got angry….like wtf I even refuse to meet her as I don’t want to be just friends. Where do I go from here if she tries to stay in touch? Do I just completely ignore?
Yes ignore her.
@@KVG822 won’t she just walk away?
Need help with the no contact rule, once my ex starts reaching out a few time am I now okay to initiate contact or do I need to carry on waiting for them to reach out first?
You wait for them to reach out first as much as possible. Make sure your ex initiates contact like 80% of the time.
@@beatitcreep. thank you for your reply, so my ex has reached out 5 times in 4 weeks no contact I can now reach out at least once and try and suggest a meet up
What if you're in your later 50s and your possibly dealing with an avoidant? Would I just say that he's not into me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings or if he hasn't gotten through this by the age of 55 he's just got issues
He’s not confused he has another gf and I’m pregnant with his child
What if i have been ghosted after a three year relationship?
Ghosted for so long not good way and have a third-party involved and empty promises l don't do it to him so don't do it to me and has third-party he wouldn't like me doing it to him so much drama lam done with it
He haven’t done nothing for our daughter since the week before Easter
It's none of your business if he's not beating her , or made awful threats etc. Let your "daughter" become an adult
Idk this caller seems pretty selfish/clingy 🤷🏿♂️
I woundered why😅t.y.
% is a very conservative #
Ok my problem is with him was he wanted to have a third party watch us have intimacy on video I kinda freaked out I said I wouldn't share him with another he said did I say that I never said i'd be sharing him it kinda annoyed him said I killed the vibe never texted me after that wed been communicating 3 months by video or texting im confused by his silence
I wouldn’t trust him! How do you know he isn’t being paid for the video or that the video may end up on an adult site.
Then last week he text what is our daughter size to get her something then text please I want to help you take care of our daughter
when a child is involved you probs shouldnt watch videos like this. if he was a decent guy at least let him visit/buy his daughter stuff but who am i to tell you what to do
@@fhmyn0 no problem but lies after lies i always make sure I’m not around when he come but all of a sudden he want to pop up
My boyfriend broke up with me about 16 day's ago. He hasn't removed me as " in a relationship with you in Facebook " and in Facebook amd instagram our pictures together have not been removed. Nor has he removed me from his social media. I have applied the no contact since day one. Broke the no contact rule day 8 wanting to see if we could talk any time soon. That as much as he loves me and as much as it hurts it's the best not to and that he is also not going to change his mind, to just take time to heal as we both need it. So after that I will not break the no contact ever again.
Coach Craig, you got it?
My ex is a Narcissist? I know her, she's selfish? Is there a chance that she will change???
Thank you , Godbless