it was so refreshing to see a group of GAY BLACK males come together to represent each of their respective communities in such a positive manor, and not be the ratchet ignorant characters that the world and its stereotypes have portrayed us to be!!
Yes, the conversation needs to continue. I found myself caught up and not wanting it to end. Xem, this is gold! Finally a mature, polished, and informative way of getting people in the LGBTIQ community to look at their friendships and relationships and guide them to higher levels of trust while having a great time! I cannot wait to see what comes next!
What a good convo. As someone who ended something with a person recently, this really helped me feel better. A lot of guys don't think a lot of guys in our community want to give their all. Everyone is waiting to be stabbed in the back instead of putting the phones down and getting to know one another. Big issue. Social Media will be the down fall of relationships.
Great conversation, Xem. My favorite part was at 16:30 where it was said that on social media, what matters is a potential partner's REACTION to specific posts more than the post...
I really enjoyed watching your video "Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men" It was really positive and a great platform for discussing a much needed conversation. Please keep up the GREAT work!
Definitely an ongoing conversation! I think most of us are having these discussions with our friends. We've all dealt with the guy who still has ties to his ex. Many of us, if not all, have wondered why we're still single and we've definitely all seen that follower on IG who's in a new relationship every two weeks! I hope to see more of this series with different perspectives from a more diverse group of men. Great job! :)
This is a great round table conversation 👌🏾 👏🏾 Love to see/hear it. Intelligent, intellectual, deep conversation from different spectrums of the community
FANTASTIC video/conversation. I’m hooked! so so soooo affirming to see such a diversity of GORGEOUS, INTELLIGENT black gay men chop it up and keeping it so real. I’d be interested to check a convo like this with a few older black gay men in the mix🤷🏾♂️for perspective.
Thank you Xem!! There is definitely an audience for this. The LGBT community would be lightyears ahead if we had more transparent and uplifting conversations such as these. My friends and I engage in these chats all the time and it feels good to see that we are not alone in desiring more in our friendships than a weekly "turn up." Finally something of substance than can help with some personal development. Please keep material like this coming.
job well done Bro!!! This was a really great video. Job well done. As i said before I love the picture quality of the video. Everybody looked amazing. I loved that you were the facilitator and you kinda knew everyone for the most part. You knowing the people really helped you keep the conversation flowing. Everybody seemed present and focused and really made it easyto watch. before i knew it it was over. i didn't want it to end. very proud of you bro. DC
Really should separate the communities. This is why a lot of people choose to avoid the term "I'm apart of the LGBT community" it intimidating. Someone may be gay and not want to associate with transexuals and the many pansexual, asexual, x-sexual. Has nothing to do with one's own life. It's a single group which attempts recognize every possible sexual orientation which is ridiculous to recognize a single sexual orientation. Straight people can't grasp it how could anyone else digest the many different lifestyles under one umbrella term.
love, love, love this video! Being a single man in the NJ/NYC area, I find it very hard to date. I would love to hear more about your dating situation and what your views are with dating and relationships (if you're in one).
I love this video. Absolutely insightful. I love the fact that gay black men are sitting down having these important conversations. I'm 26, single, and facing these same exact issues. Nice to know I'm not alone. thank you Xem, Best Video to date.
Love this round table. I do believe the issues in the community is as you guys stated in the beginning. People tend to seek out what they ultimately lack therefore people are temporary in their lives. No one person can provide everything for someone so that’s why it is important to compromise, that 80-20 rule is a b**ch. Social media, or rather the love of social media is the relationship killer. However, ones addiction to such things that prevents relationships from flourishing is the beginning of a bigger issues....lack of self discipline. Thank the lord I only have FB.
How many 'ones' are there? lmbo Very entertaining! Each of the contributors were genuine and enjoyable. This isn't the 'vision' we get to see of the LGBT community and it should be. #lovewins kudos to all involved! Xem your voice is like music, I could listen to you all day. You need a talk show, perhaps OWN will host it
I'm just seeing this for the first time, and you're all on point, I wish a similar conversation like this occurred within the latin community....but all of you touched upon similar thoughts I as a dominican-american man have felt.......I've been single for a while, yes I've dated but all you've mentioned are the same things I've thought of and been through.......
I agree somewhat with Matt. I think large proportion of men in relationships always look outside their own because they "think" that the other relationship 'they see from afar and from the outside' (but they know nothing from about it from within) always looks better than their own. Hence their 'mis-calculated comparison' of the other relationship and their own relationship break-up- (which becomes an ongoing cycle, until they get to a mature age and realise "wow!, how wrong they were" and what good real relationships they have given up on in their past based on the "relationship ideology'. I know this because my ex-partner of 14 years looked outside the relationship through "false comparison - rose tinted glasses" and done the same thing. within a year was then comparing his new relationship with his one of 14 years and wanting to return to it - ironically now single and with regret. This happens a lot in our community and with the assistance of 'false social media' does not help the situation
The overuse of social media to exploit or revel one's relation to another is awkward and bizarre. I have few friends who feel the need to always film everything as if others are a part of this "TV show" they have in their fictional ass minds. Good convo, and maybe this could springboard other topics pertaining to the overuse of social media.
I find it quite funny how guy's like to post there relationship status on social media and 2 weeks later there not together anymore. I find that really laughable. And then they take the pictures down thinking somebody is stupid.lol Relationships should be kept personal. And not plastered all over social media.
I’m not into “shoulds.” Whether I believe people “should” or “shouldn’t” do what I think is right, they’ll keep doing what THEY want. I can choose to listen to them or keep watching them, or not.
In a 35 year relationship, married for 3 years. Do what ever you have to do -- JUST DON'T BRING IT HOME! Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Sex is NOT love. Sex does not take the place of emotional support.
I honestly have reached this point. It sucks that we can't give "everything" to one person but it's against our literal human nature to do so. What I mean by this is that it's human nature to connect to multiple people in different levels of intimacy. It's unrealistic to give literally every part of your personality to one person. Doing so is overwhelming for one and there's parts of you that your soul mate just will not be able to reach. This isn't a bad thing. We need structure as human beings and freedom to have structure in different forms. Such as, friends you only club with, or are emotional support, work friends, travel friends, and the list doesn't stop for whatever it is you can't do with your soul mate. Soul mates are their for your most intimate selves to pick you up before the world sees you. To stroke your ego "yes" and to humble you (keeping you grounded. To be the first person to hear of your decision or struggles and to hear when those struggles are gone. Or even to hear after you walked a journey that only you could do alone for the long while and now your soul mates can walk with you for the rest. Your partner just can't be everything in every single moment but the act of them being there matters above all else. But it depends on what your looking for I believe too.
I love this and I definitely joyed hearing other gay Black males Outlook on dating in relationship! Definitely looking forward to seeing more videos like this. 👌🏾😍👂🏾
My 2 best friends, both male, one gay and one straight have both told me independently at different times they believe some men can't settle for one. Some men cannot be faithful to one person. They said it does not matter how wonderful or how perfect their significant other is for them, they will become somewhat bored with the significant other and wonder if someone else is better/more interesting/sexier etc for them. My gay best is still in his relationship of 11 years. His happiness is questionable. My straight best friend just got a divorce due to irreconcilable differences and not infidelity. He did not cheat. He fell out of love. Makes me wonder if their opinions about some men not being able to settle for one is true.
please leave a COMMENT, click the "THUMBS UP" button for me and really SHARE the video link on your twitter timelines, tumblr pages, in your facebook groups, instagram, your personal websites and other online forums where you are registered. I NEED YOU ALL to help me promote the project in order to expand the reach. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
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I've noticed there are more gay women in their 30s, 40s, 50s & 60s who have settled down already! where as gay men in the same age groups are all single & lonely! Why is that?
I'm just seeing this vlog... It's cool. I'm a lot older than you guys so I'm basing my opinion on my experiences. You guys are single cause you want to be. I don't know if you're still single but one gets comfortable with comfort. Being single is easier. Dana T.
Relationship with a person must go beyond sex, what I have learned is that you are giving too much of yourself for nothing, I would not do casual sex after what I see and learned in the gay world.
it was so refreshing to see a group of GAY BLACK males come together to represent each of their respective communities in such a positive manor, and not be the ratchet ignorant characters that the world and its stereotypes have portrayed us to be!!
I definitely agree 😍
I ALSO Agree! THIS WHY IM MOVING TO DC!
i agree
POWERFUL, I LOVE IT
Yes, the conversation needs to continue. I found myself caught up and not wanting it to end. Xem, this is gold! Finally a mature, polished, and informative way of getting people in the LGBTIQ community to look at their friendships and relationships and guide them to higher levels of trust while having a great time! I cannot wait to see what comes next!
You guys are a fine example of why I love gay men. So much beauty, intelligence in one small group!
I like to see gay men coming together and having a constructive conversations. Keep these coming.
Yes iin deed ...to often black gay men talk about bullshit!!!
I would like to see and be apart of more of these conversations
@@jackking1103 I so agree, I just subscribed to this channel......
I like gay black top intersted seriously
I love this so much besides the topics the editing and transitions are so clean!
What a good convo. As someone who ended something with a person recently, this really helped me feel better. A lot of guys don't think a lot of guys in our community want to give their all. Everyone is waiting to be stabbed in the back instead of putting the phones down and getting to know one another. Big issue. Social Media will be the down fall of relationships.
there was so much left unsaid, not to mention the plethora of possible topics that weren't addressed....cant wait for future installments!
Great conversation, Xem. My favorite part was at 16:30 where it was said that on social media, what matters is a potential partner's REACTION to specific posts more than the post...
Love it Xemmy was awesome!!!! can't wait for part dos!
I really enjoyed watching your video "Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men" It was really positive and a great platform for discussing a much needed conversation. Please keep up the GREAT work!
Very entertaining and informative!! XEM has great skills for interviews/talk shows!!
Hope you bring more content like this on a weekly or monthly basis
OMG where is part 2, this was really good
This was a good show. Keep up the conversation. There's more talks like these that need to continue.
Thoroughly and Surprisingly enjoyed! Great convo... can't wait to see more
Definitely an ongoing conversation!
I think most of us are having these discussions with our friends. We've all dealt with the guy who still has ties to his ex. Many of us, if not all, have wondered why we're still single and we've definitely all seen that follower on IG who's in a new relationship every two weeks!
I hope to see more of this series with different perspectives from a more diverse group of men. Great job! :)
Thank you guys, i really needed this cant wait for more episodes of this!!
Interesting convo. A lots of good insight. Definitely a part two should happen.
Very good convo and I feel it should be elaborated on! Part 2 perhaps??! Great job guys 👍🏾👍🏾
Excellent, excellent video! Great conversation. Thanks for doing this.
That moment when Matt said that they were both "tops" could have detoured into a nice lil convo lol.
This is a great round table conversation 👌🏾 👏🏾 Love to see/hear it. Intelligent, intellectual, deep conversation from different spectrums of the community
I WAS SO INTO IT BECAUSE THESE ARE CONVERSATIONS I HAVE WITH MY FRIENDS OFTEN!!! I HOPE FOR MORE!!!
This was so refreshing and enlightening. Thank you.
FANTASTIC video/conversation. I’m hooked! so so soooo affirming to see such a diversity of GORGEOUS, INTELLIGENT black gay men chop it up and keeping it so real. I’d be interested to check a convo like this with a few older black gay men in the mix🤷🏾♂️for perspective.
I loved and definitely enjoyed this discussion. I founded the conversations to be extremely insightful and interesting.
Thank you Xem!! There is definitely an audience for this. The LGBT community would be lightyears ahead if we had more transparent and uplifting conversations such as these. My friends and I engage in these chats all the time and it feels good to see that we are not alone in desiring more in our friendships than a weekly "turn up." Finally something of substance than can help with some personal development. Please keep material like this coming.
I enjoyed watching & listening to the various thought processes, good conversation, thanks Xem
We need this conversation again, but much longer
Great job Xem. I'm look forward to future installments. Lovely topic. Thanks.
GREAT Conversation and topics, great editing, and a very great and broad group of speakers. Very well done. I enjoyed this piece immensely.
job well done Bro!!! This was a really great video. Job well done. As i said before I love the picture quality of the video. Everybody looked amazing. I loved that you were the facilitator and you kinda knew everyone for the most part. You knowing the people really helped you keep the conversation flowing. Everybody seemed present and focused and really made it easyto watch. before i knew it it was over. i didn't want it to end. very proud of you bro. DC
Yes! I was literally counting to the release.
The vibe in this video is so organic and educational. More of this please!
Matthew has a beautiful smile and his personality is even more beautiful!
This was productive and enjoyable, please keep it up we need discussions like these to continue.
This was awesome 🙌. We need more videos out there like this one representing our community 💞
Great conversation and not just for gay men but the entire LGBT community. Thanks for sharing, hope to see more ~
Really should separate the communities. This is why a lot of people choose to avoid the term "I'm apart of the LGBT community" it intimidating. Someone may be gay and not want to associate with transexuals and the many pansexual, asexual, x-sexual. Has nothing to do with one's own life. It's a single group which attempts recognize every possible sexual orientation which is ridiculous to recognize a single sexual orientation. Straight people can't grasp it how could anyone else digest the many different lifestyles under one umbrella term.
love, love, love this video! Being a single man in the NJ/NYC area, I find it very hard to date. I would love to hear more about your dating situation and what your views are with dating and relationships (if you're in one).
I love this video. Absolutely insightful. I love the fact that gay black men are sitting down having these important conversations. I'm 26, single, and facing these same exact issues. Nice to know I'm not alone. thank you Xem, Best Video to date.
Such a great video, wish it was longer !! Keep up the great work Xem.
Great discussion. Would love to see a big man at the table representing the Chub, Bear and Chaser community.
Bring this back! I loved it!!!
Very positive and pleasant conversation! Its nice to see.
Enlightening discussion; well done.
Excellent job Xem !!!
I really enjoyed this round table discussion. please do more
WE NEED A PART 2, A NEW SESSION, OR SOMETHING!!! This was good
Xem, our community needs more conversations like this in 2018!!!
Awesome coversation!!
Love this round table. I do believe the issues in the community is as you guys stated in the beginning. People tend to seek out what they ultimately lack therefore people are temporary in their lives. No one person can provide everything for someone so that’s why it is important to compromise, that 80-20 rule is a b**ch. Social media, or rather the love of social media is the relationship killer. However, ones addiction to such things that prevents relationships from flourishing is the beginning of a bigger issues....lack of self discipline. Thank the lord I only have FB.
How many 'ones' are there? lmbo Very entertaining! Each of the contributors were genuine and enjoyable. This isn't the 'vision' we get to see of the LGBT community and it should be. #lovewins kudos to all involved! Xem your voice is like music, I could listen to you all day. You need a talk show, perhaps OWN will host it
I'm just seeing this for the first time, and you're all on point, I wish a similar conversation like this occurred within the latin community....but all of you touched upon similar thoughts I as a dominican-american man have felt.......I've been single for a while, yes I've dated but all you've mentioned are the same things I've thought of and been through.......
5:19-5:23, okay Iyanla! lol. That's what that moment reminded me of, on her show. But this is SO good so far.
ikr, Iyanla's pause followed by hitting you some good knowledge and gospel.
YES! Legendary moment devinngeorge
I agree somewhat with Matt. I think large proportion of men in relationships always look outside their own because they "think" that the other relationship 'they see from afar and from the outside' (but they know nothing from about it from within) always looks better than their own.
Hence their 'mis-calculated comparison' of the other relationship and their own relationship break-up- (which becomes an ongoing cycle, until they get to a mature age and realise "wow!, how wrong they were" and what good real relationships they have given up on in their past based on the "relationship ideology'.
I know this because my ex-partner of 14 years looked outside the relationship through "false comparison - rose tinted glasses" and done the same thing. within a year was then comparing his new relationship with his one of 14 years and wanting to return to it - ironically now single and with regret. This happens a lot in our community and with the assistance of 'false social media' does not help the situation
These men are lucky. I wish I had this much confidence.
So glad I finally got a moment to sit down and watch this! A great dialogue that we, as black gay men, need to start having with each other!
Great conversation!
This was awesome! Need more videos like this Xem!
You are an exceptionally talented, awesome and amazing host.
The overuse of social media to exploit or revel one's relation to another is awkward and bizarre. I have few friends who feel the need to always film everything as if others are a part of this "TV show" they have in their fictional ass minds. Good convo, and maybe this could springboard other topics pertaining to the overuse of social media.
Great discussion and thanks for sharing
I can’t like this video enough.
Great conversation. Nice to see.
I was just saying I NEEDED something with gay men (like myself) to give great advice on serious topics! I'm subscribing right now.
well this was quite interesting...
Great convo.
daunte is sooo laid back
I find it quite funny how guy's like to post there relationship status on social media and 2 weeks later there not together anymore. I find that really laughable. And then they take the pictures down thinking somebody is stupid.lol Relationships should be kept personal. And not plastered all over social media.
You're a very wise man.When people "post" that "relationship" stuff it just means that they're insecure,lonely and misersble.
agreed....
I’m not into “shoulds.” Whether I believe people “should” or “shouldn’t” do what I think is right, they’ll keep doing what THEY want. I can choose to listen to them or keep watching them, or not.
In a 35 year relationship, married for 3 years. Do what ever you have to do -- JUST DON'T BRING IT HOME! Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Sex is NOT love. Sex does not take the place of emotional support.
I honestly have reached this point. It sucks that we can't give "everything" to one person but it's against our literal human nature to do so. What I mean by this is that it's human nature to connect to multiple people in different levels of intimacy. It's unrealistic to give literally every part of your personality to one person. Doing so is overwhelming for one and there's parts of you that your soul mate just will not be able to reach. This isn't a bad thing.
We need structure as human beings and freedom to have structure in different forms. Such as, friends you only club with, or are emotional support, work friends, travel friends, and the list doesn't stop for whatever it is you can't do with your soul mate.
Soul mates are their for your most intimate selves to pick you up before the world sees you. To stroke your ego "yes" and to humble you (keeping you grounded. To be the first person to hear of your decision or struggles and to hear when those struggles are gone. Or even to hear after you walked a journey that only you could do alone for the long while and now your soul mates can walk with you for the rest.
Your partner just can't be everything in every single moment but the act of them being there matters above all else. But it depends on what your looking for I believe too.
After 35 years what can you share with a 24 yr black man like myself.
You have more life experience than I do I have theories lol
I love this and I definitely joyed hearing other gay Black males Outlook on dating in relationship! Definitely looking forward to seeing more videos like this. 👌🏾😍👂🏾
Keep up the good work on these videos bro very nice
this was a coo convo
I love this video and the topic you guys was talking about.
Wish you bring these guys back or more guys and talk like this more for gay men.
This is simply brilliant!
Really nice video, how i can get into the group?
Excellent host!
This isn't only in major cities. It happens in Ohio, too.
YAll have to do a update to this, do another live group chat discussion cause the gay community could use the advice lol thanks guys
ALL of you all are PHOINE as hell. But to me, Matthew is just.....whew!! LOL *In Love*
So real
luv the positivity in this video, especially being a gay man of color. You got my support.
YESSSS.....My sexy caramel Xem Van Adams has a new video out....I have been waiting! Thank you!
My 2 best friends, both male, one gay and one straight have both told me independently at different times they believe some men can't settle for one. Some men cannot be faithful to one person. They said it does not matter how wonderful or how perfect their significant other is for them, they will become somewhat bored with the significant other and wonder if someone else is better/more interesting/sexier etc for them. My gay best is still in his relationship of 11 years. His happiness is questionable. My straight best friend just got a divorce due to irreconcilable differences and not infidelity. He did not cheat. He fell out of love. Makes me wonder if their opinions about some men not being able to settle for one is true.
All these intelligent and handsome men 😂💯💚
please leave a COMMENT, click the "THUMBS UP" button for me and really SHARE the video link on your twitter timelines, tumblr pages, in your facebook groups, instagram, your personal websites and other online forums where you are registered. I NEED YOU ALL to help me promote the project in order to expand the reach. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Dо yоoou know whаt YОUR mаn is thinking? twitter.com/2be9b0f063ef5ed01/status/804693412402241537 Love Dating Rеlаtiоnships Betwеeеn Men Thе iPhonе Grоupр Chаt Live Wаshington DC
I've noticed there are more gay women in their 30s, 40s, 50s & 60s who have settled down already! where as gay men in the same age groups are all single & lonely! Why is that?
@John Kimber lol
I so wish i had that answer......
I'm just seeing this vlog... It's cool. I'm a lot older than you guys so I'm basing my opinion on my experiences. You guys are single cause you want to be. I don't know if you're still single but one gets comfortable with comfort. Being single is easier.
Dana T.
this is much more dignified than that bullshit Culture Club hot mess shit!!!!
beautiful, articulate gay men exchanging intelligently..... what a breath of fresh air
As a gay man from South America, it's been quite hard for me to meet my soul mate. No one is interested in a steady relationship...unfortunately...
P.S. Will your videos start being consistent?
Come back to TH-cam!
I like talk everybody respect each other views
great
Relationship with a person must go beyond sex, what I have learned is that you are giving too much of yourself for nothing, I would not do casual sex after what I see and learned in the gay world.
Did you retire what happen
Love it
You are so handsome
Nat is fine!