What the hell? I blundered around TH-cam, expecting someone to post a video "owning" the opposition, and instead I get a thoughtful, science-based take. (And I was delighted.)
I think that body count is important for both men and women it is a small demonstration of responsibility. older women I think should get more slack from men though.
This isn't up for debate. If it matters to a man....THEN IT MATTERS. If she wants to keep that from you, thats OK too, and you don't have to accept or date her either. Men don't want someone who has been ran thru, women know this. But yet they do it anyway. So don't blame men for your behavior.
I can't speak for other men, but the idea of providing for another man's children is the very least issue in the desire for a wife that is one's own. What makes this obvious is that widows remarry and the new husband enters this arrangement without misgivings. This is about loyalty and self-discipline. Would a woman want a man who had changed jobs every three months for years?
I think what you’re saying is great. Providing for another man’s kids is the evolved reason men tend to have for desiring modest women because that was evolutionarily advantageous for men. However, that’s not the only reason, of course! Although, in the widow case, a man has a choice to provide for those kids. In a case of infidelity, the man usually doesn’t know the kids aren’t his.
@@Modern_Marriage True, and that's because men have the wrong perception. If someone is a widow, it doesn't mean she's loyal, it could be that the husband didn't find out. Maybe they're not even his children. Another man's children are still another man's children and he is evolutionary giving his resources so that someone else's genes can survive. That perception exists because of the false assumption that she's loyal because the marriage didn't end by her fault. He sacrifices his resources for the illusion he created.
From evolutionary perspective there is also the issue of acquiring chronic STDs over time and things like occult chlamydia which can lead to infertility etc. Body count does matter
What matters is what matters to the individual. If body count matters to you then so be it. If it doesnt also so be it. It is none of anyone elses business except the two people dating.
I think worrying about a woman's body count has just as much to do with a man's ego than anything else. Women are not supposed to be giving it out to every guy she meets, right? So, some guys think that if he managed to get her clothes off, (achievement, conquest) he must be special because she does not do this for everybody. Then he finds out that she has a lot, and he knows he is not special.
Ego is not a purpose. Caring about BC also speaks to compatibility and the impression the man made. If she´s giving it out to everyone left and right, he knows it doesn´t mean anything, she doesn´t really want him. But if he is her first guy (for example) he feels there is something there, that she´s really into him. Not just agreeing to be with him, but actually wanting him. Bodes well for the relationship, no?
Less than 6, okay. 5-10, mmm-okay, I guess. Over 10, that's rather a lot. As for cuckoos, I think men need to be aware and count up to 9 months. There are other ways to know if she is seeing other guys, just as she can usually tell if we are.
I think using divorce statistics as the main metric misses an important point, which is how many people are in unhealthy and unhappy marriages - sometimes to the point of enduring violence and stress related health problems - and just refuse to get divorced due to societal stigma or their own beliefs. As for body counts, I couldn't care less. And the idea of getting married before even knowing if you are sexually compatible at all seems insane to me. I also don't want children and never had, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I think your last point is important. Marriage without kids is a completely different scenario. In fact, I would argue that if people don’t ever have kids, marriage isn’t necessarily more ideal than a long-term committed relationship. And, of course, there are bad marriages that end and bad marriages that persist. But because we can’t really track the bad marriages that persist as well as we can track the divorce rate, from a statistical standpoint we have to do the best we can with the info we have. 😅
I think body count matters. Don’t care if you are a boy or girl, if you have a past of body count then don’t talk about morals, ethics and standards. I personally have 0 body count and I want a girl with 0 body count. Period.
@@Modern_Marriagehow is that fair? This person thinks it’s ok to project their own standard on someone else? No. 0 “body count” is ok for you, period. You don’t get to decide what’s ok for someone else.
@@MsValeriaHeart It’s fair for his criteria, but not everyone has the same criteria which is also fine. It’s about finding someone who has what you’re looking for and vice versa.
I applaud the rigor of your thinking and also want you to be careful. Because it's 2025. Even if you marry a young, naive lady, social media reaches everyone. And studies say that women generally value men that know their way around the field and she will have a tendency to grow tired if you don't really have your stuff together. It's best that the man learns sexuality. And if you are relieving pressure with pornography, I would make a strong case that learning real intimacy with a girlfriend is much better than watching that stuff.
A person that judges others for having consensual sex with others is NOT a person that can judge others morally, you have no idea what ethics and standards are lol.
Of course it matters, and of course it's no one's business; that's what makes it such a hot topic. However, when you're out in the woods and a guy runs past you, I'd make the assumption that it's because there's a large, hungry bear following behind him. And when he flies by, but doesn't say anything to you, it's because it matters, and it's none of your business. Enjoy your bears ladies, and stop pretending like you have a choice.
@@Modern_Marriage It's entirely stupid if you ask me. Feminism is going to destroy our culture, and then our species. We have more social media than we need, if people would just be genuine with one another over what they actually want and expect they would pretty quickly find a compatible companion or mate. Don't ask your friends what they think. They are all idiots when it comes to what "you" want. And you "must" be honest with others, as well as yourself to find success.
Well we know this need to control how many men the woman sleeps with mostly stems from an evolutionary necessity to avoid bringing up cuckoo's children but nowadays as you said we have the pill condom etc. So it might be smart to overcome these ancient behaviours and tethink relationships... Also the correlation between body count and divorce rate probably is because they keep getting around after marriage. Imagine though being married and sleeping around would still be OK and wouldn't put the marriage into question - the correlation would most likely disappear! In case there is a pregnancy in an open marriage, the husband actually has an advantage over the "monogamous" couple because they would openly communicate and avoid something like the "dad" finding out years later thar his children's eye colors are genertically impossible with him being the father
@@hiltithedrill That’s true that it’s been a way for men to avoid raising another man’s kids - I agree with you on that in the video! But discounting the value of monogamy is likely not the answer since monogamous socieites tend to be much more stable and successful and less violent than polygamous societies. That’s why monogamy is so common in the developed world even though it’s not necessarily the norm when we look at human history.
@@Modern_Marriage not saying we should not be monogamous at all, maybe monogamISH? Because most "monogamous" couples are not - they just don't know about it and when they find out: divorce. So maybe if we could be a bit less strict and open about having intimate relationships wirh multiple humans, it would make relationships and even society more stable than now - because it would nor put into question a marriage like it does now.
@@hiltithedrill You’re right that the majority of divorced couples cite infidelity as a major reason for the divorce, usually around 60%, but infidelity tends to come after a lot of other dysfunction that often could’ve been avoided if the couple knew how to and put in the right effort to keep the marriage healthy.
@@Modern_Marriage yes effort like communicating when you like someone else and not just do it behind their back. effort like being non-judgmental towards the partner if he/she is having feelings/sexual desire for someone else without straight up questioning the relationship. would completely solve infidelity as a reason for divorce.
The weak point in your argument is that men are romantic, women are material in general. Men are physically disgusted with imagining their wife or girlfriend being intimate with someone else. Even a past person if they really cared about her, and it's why purity is valued. It's actually part of our DNA. There's none of your woke nonsense that is going to change that. Men are going to get possessive or violent at the hint of an unfaithful partner. So, your silly silly little fantasy land that okays cheating or extramarital affairs is never going to happen.
No, body count is NOT the same as when a woman is trying to see if a man will commit to her! False logic! Someone can have a high body count AND be loyal to their current partner. So you see how you just said something illogical? Also, what is your background, what makes you think you have the knowledge and experience to talk about these things in an objective manner?
I hate the term "body count." It's so crude and treats people like objects, objects to be used and tossed aside. I think the people who use this term are the ones who are promiscuous and treat others like objects and therefore have too much milage on them. It boils down to an attitude towards others.
A correct attitude. I married a virgin, and there's no way, absolutely no way, I'd even consider marriage towards some run thru trash. I'd not even consider a serious relationship with them. Who wants to imagine their wife with someone else? Nowadays, BCs are like dozens by the time they're in their early 20s. Gross, I'd not kiss that, not provide for that or waste my time. Women control the sex in the West, and they are sadly lacking in morals. They can be left unmarried and alone, or with the garbage men who mistreat them. It's their own fault for being trash. Had they guarded their purity, then they would have a committed and serious relationship or marriage.
What the hell? I blundered around TH-cam, expecting someone to post a video "owning" the opposition, and instead I get a thoughtful, science-based take. (And I was delighted.)
This is one of the best comments I’ve ever read. Thank you so much!
I think that body count is important for both men and women it is a small demonstration of responsibility. older women I think should get more slack from men though.
This isn't up for debate. If it matters to a man....THEN IT MATTERS. If she wants to keep that from you, thats OK too, and you don't have to accept or date her either. Men don't want someone who has been ran thru, women know this. But yet they do it anyway. So don't blame men for your behavior.
So can men have a lot of partners?
@@LARA-sg4bt That is up for you to decide. I don't date men.
I can't speak for other men, but the idea of providing for another man's children is the very least issue in the desire for a wife that is one's own. What makes this obvious is that widows remarry and the new husband enters this arrangement without misgivings. This is about loyalty and self-discipline. Would a woman want a man who had changed jobs every three months for years?
I think what you’re saying is great. Providing for another man’s kids is the evolved reason men tend to have for desiring modest women because that was evolutionarily advantageous for men. However, that’s not the only reason, of course! Although, in the widow case, a man has a choice to provide for those kids. In a case of infidelity, the man usually doesn’t know the kids aren’t his.
@@Modern_Marriage True, and that's because men have the wrong perception. If someone is a widow, it doesn't mean she's loyal, it could be that the husband didn't find out. Maybe they're not even his children. Another man's children are still another man's children and he is evolutionary giving his resources so that someone else's genes can survive. That perception exists because of the false assumption that she's loyal because the marriage didn't end by her fault. He sacrifices his resources for the illusion he created.
From evolutionary perspective there is also the issue of acquiring chronic STDs over time and things like occult chlamydia which can lead to infertility etc. Body count does matter
The higher the body count, the higher the drama.
What matters is what matters to the individual. If body count matters to you then so be it. If it doesnt also so be it. It is none of anyone elses business except the two people dating.
Exactly! 👍
I think worrying about a woman's body count has just as much to do with a man's ego than anything else. Women are not supposed to be giving it out to every guy she meets, right? So, some guys think that if he managed to get her clothes off, (achievement, conquest) he must be special because she does not do this for everybody. Then he finds out that she has a lot, and he knows he is not special.
Ego is not a purpose. Caring about BC also speaks to compatibility and the impression the man made. If she´s giving it out to everyone left and right, he knows it doesn´t mean anything, she doesn´t really want him. But if he is her first guy (for example) he feels there is something there, that she´s really into him. Not just agreeing to be with him, but actually wanting him.
Bodes well for the relationship, no?
Its not controversial, men do not want to pledge fidelity to woman who is alpha widowed
Less than 6, okay. 5-10, mmm-okay, I guess. Over 10, that's rather a lot. As for cuckoos, I think men need to be aware and count up to 9 months. There are other ways to know if she is seeing other guys, just as she can usually tell if we are.
I think using divorce statistics as the main metric misses an important point, which is how many people are in unhealthy and unhappy marriages - sometimes to the point of enduring violence and stress related health problems - and just refuse to get divorced due to societal stigma or their own beliefs.
As for body counts, I couldn't care less. And the idea of getting married before even knowing if you are sexually compatible at all seems insane to me.
I also don't want children and never had, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I think your last point is important. Marriage without kids is a completely different scenario. In fact, I would argue that if people don’t ever have kids, marriage isn’t necessarily more ideal than a long-term committed relationship. And, of course, there are bad marriages that end and bad marriages that persist. But because we can’t really track the bad marriages that persist as well as we can track the divorce rate, from a statistical standpoint we have to do the best we can with the info we have. 😅
Sexually compatible 😂
I think body count matters. Don’t care if you are a boy or girl, if you have a past of body count then don’t talk about morals, ethics and standards.
I personally have 0 body count and I want a girl with 0 body count. Period.
@@Modern_Marriagehow is that fair? This person thinks it’s ok to project their own standard on someone else? No. 0 “body count” is ok for you, period. You don’t get to decide what’s ok for someone else.
@@MsValeriaHeart It’s fair for his criteria, but not everyone has the same criteria which is also fine. It’s about finding someone who has what you’re looking for and vice versa.
@@MsValeriaHearttell me you used girl without telling me you are used girl 😂
I applaud the rigor of your thinking and also want you to be careful. Because it's 2025. Even if you marry a young, naive lady, social media reaches everyone. And studies say that women generally value men that know their way around the field and she will have a tendency to grow tired if you don't really have your stuff together. It's best that the man learns sexuality. And if you are relieving pressure with pornography, I would make a strong case that learning real intimacy with a girlfriend is much better than watching that stuff.
A person that judges others for having consensual sex with others is NOT a person that can judge others morally, you have no idea what ethics and standards are lol.
add polygamy
Of course it matters, and of course it's no one's business; that's what makes it such a hot topic. However, when you're out in the woods and a guy runs past you, I'd make the assumption that it's because there's a large, hungry bear following behind him. And when he flies by, but doesn't say anything to you, it's because it matters, and it's none of your business. Enjoy your bears ladies, and stop pretending like you have a choice.
@@mickygarcia4251 the man vs bear debate is kind of nuts!
@@Modern_Marriage It's entirely stupid if you ask me. Feminism is going to destroy our culture, and then our species.
We have more social media than we need, if people would just be genuine with one another over what they actually want and expect they would pretty quickly find a compatible companion or mate. Don't ask your friends what they think. They are all idiots when it comes to what "you" want. And you "must" be honest with others, as well as yourself to find success.
Well we know this need to control how many men the woman sleeps with mostly stems from an evolutionary necessity to avoid bringing up cuckoo's children but nowadays as you said we have the pill condom etc. So it might be smart to overcome these ancient behaviours and tethink relationships... Also the correlation between body count and divorce rate probably is because they keep getting around after marriage. Imagine though being married and sleeping around would still be OK and wouldn't put the marriage into question - the correlation would most likely disappear! In case there is a pregnancy in an open marriage, the husband actually has an advantage over the "monogamous" couple because they would openly communicate and avoid something like the "dad" finding out years later thar his children's eye colors are genertically impossible with him being the father
@@hiltithedrill That’s true that it’s been a way for men to avoid raising another man’s kids - I agree with you on that in the video! But discounting the value of monogamy is likely not the answer since monogamous socieites tend to be much more stable and successful and less violent than polygamous societies. That’s why monogamy is so common in the developed world even though it’s not necessarily the norm when we look at human history.
@@Modern_Marriage not saying we should not be monogamous at all, maybe monogamISH? Because most "monogamous" couples are not - they just don't know about it and when they find out: divorce. So maybe if we could be a bit less strict and open about having intimate relationships wirh multiple humans, it would make relationships and even society more stable than now - because it would nor put into question a marriage like it does now.
@@hiltithedrill You’re right that the majority of divorced couples cite infidelity as a major reason for the divorce, usually around 60%, but infidelity tends to come after a lot of other dysfunction that often could’ve been avoided if the couple knew how to and put in the right effort to keep the marriage healthy.
@@Modern_Marriage yes effort like communicating when you like someone else and not just do it behind their back. effort like being non-judgmental towards the partner if he/she is having feelings/sexual desire for someone else without straight up questioning the relationship. would completely solve infidelity as a reason for divorce.
The weak point in your argument is that men are romantic, women are material in general. Men are physically disgusted with imagining their wife or girlfriend being intimate with someone else. Even a past person if they really cared about her, and it's why purity is valued. It's actually part of our DNA. There's none of your woke nonsense that is going to change that. Men are going to get possessive or violent at the hint of an unfaithful partner. So, your silly silly little fantasy land that okays cheating or extramarital affairs is never going to happen.
No, body count is NOT the same as when a woman is trying to see if a man will commit to her! False logic! Someone can have a high body count AND be loyal to their current partner. So you see how you just said something illogical? Also, what is your background, what makes you think you have the knowledge and experience to talk about these things in an objective manner?
Stop taking it out on her, it's not her fault yours is high af lol.
do you consider yourself to be a feminist?
@@MsValeriaHeart oh town bicycle is mad because have high notch count 🤣
"Someone can have a high body count AND be loyal to their current partner. "
Except the chances of that are extremely low.
No they cant, it has proven sooner or later they cheat or break the relationships to cheat
I hate the term "body count." It's so crude and treats people like objects, objects to be used and tossed aside. I think the people who use this term are the ones who are promiscuous and treat others like objects and therefore have too much milage on them. It boils down to an attitude towards others.
A correct attitude. I married a virgin, and there's no way, absolutely no way, I'd even consider marriage towards some run thru trash. I'd not even consider a serious relationship with them. Who wants to imagine their wife with someone else? Nowadays, BCs are like dozens by the time they're in their early 20s. Gross, I'd not kiss that, not provide for that or waste my time. Women control the sex in the West, and they are sadly lacking in morals. They can be left unmarried and alone, or with the garbage men who mistreat them. It's their own fault for being trash. Had they guarded their purity, then they would have a committed and serious relationship or marriage.