What the hell? I blundered around TH-cam, expecting someone to post a video "owning" the opposition, and instead I get a thoughtful, science-based take. (And I was delighted.)
I think that body count is important for both men and women it is a small demonstration of responsibility. older women I think should get more slack from men though.
I think using divorce statistics as the main metric misses an important point, which is how many people are in unhealthy and unhappy marriages - sometimes to the point of enduring violence and stress related health problems - and just refuse to get divorced due to societal stigma or their own beliefs. As for body counts, I couldn't care less. And the idea of getting married before even knowing if you are sexually compatible at all seems insane to me. I also don't want children and never had, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I think your last point is important. Marriage without kids is a completely different scenario. In fact, I would argue that if people don’t ever have kids, marriage isn’t necessarily more ideal than a long-term committed relationship. And, of course, there are bad marriages that end and bad marriages that persist. But because we can’t really track the bad marriages that persist as well as we can track the divorce rate, from a statistical standpoint we have to do the best we can with the info we have. 😅
Less than 6, okay. 5-10, mmm-okay, I guess. Over 10, that's rather a lot. As for cuckoos, I think men need to be aware and count up to 9 months. There are other ways to know if she is seeing other guys, just as she can usually tell if we are.
I can't speak for other men, but the idea of providing for another man's children is the very least issue in the desire for a wife that is one's own. What makes this obvious is that widows remarry and the new husband enters this arrangement without misgivings. This is about loyalty and self-discipline. Would a woman want a man who had changed jobs every three months for years?
I think what you’re saying is great. Providing for another man’s kids is the evolved reason men tend to have for desiring modest women because that was evolutionarily advantageous for men. However, that’s not the only reason, of course! Although, in the widow case, a man has a choice to provide for those kids. In a case of infidelity, the man usually doesn’t know the kids aren’t his.
Well we know this need to control how many men the woman sleeps with mostly stems from an evolutionary necessity to avoid bringing up cuckoo's children but nowadays as you said we have the pill condom etc. So it might be smart to overcome these ancient behaviours and tethink relationships... Also the correlation between body count and divorce rate probably is because they keep getting around after marriage. Imagine though being married and sleeping around would still be OK and wouldn't put the marriage into question - the correlation would most likely disappear! In case there is a pregnancy in an open marriage, the husband actually has an advantage over the "monogamous" couple because they would openly communicate and avoid something like the "dad" finding out years later thar his children's eye colors are genertically impossible with him being the father
@@hiltithedrill That’s true that it’s been a way for men to avoid raising another man’s kids - I agree with you on that in the video! But discounting the value of monogamy is likely not the answer since monogamous socieites tend to be much more stable and successful and less violent than polygamous societies. That’s why monogamy is so common in the developed world even though it’s not necessarily the norm when we look at human history.
@@Modern_Marriage not saying we should not be monogamous at all, maybe monogamISH? Because most "monogamous" couples are not - they just don't know about it and when they find out: divorce. So maybe if we could be a bit less strict and open about having intimate relationships wirh multiple humans, it would make relationships and even society more stable than now - because it would nor put into question a marriage like it does now.
@@hiltithedrill You’re right that the majority of divorced couples cite infidelity as a major reason for the divorce, usually around 60%, but infidelity tends to come after a lot of other dysfunction that often could’ve been avoided if the couple knew how to and put in the right effort to keep the marriage healthy.
@@Modern_Marriage yes effort like communicating when you like someone else and not just do it behind their back. effort like being non-judgmental towards the partner if he/she is having feelings/sexual desire for someone else without straight up questioning the relationship. would completely solve infidelity as a reason for divorce.
Of course it matters, and of course it's no one's business; that's what makes it such a hot topic. However, when you're out in the woods and a guy runs past you, I'd make the assumption that it's because there's a large, hungry bear following behind him. And when he flies by, but doesn't say anything to you, it's because it matters, and it's none of your business. Enjoy your bears ladies, and stop pretending like you have a choice.
I think body count matters. Don’t care if you are a boy or girl, if you have a past of body count then don’t talk about morals, ethics and standards. I personally have 0 body count and I want a girl with 0 body count. Period.
What matters is what matters to the individual. If body count matters to you then so be it. If it doesnt also so be it. It is none of anyone elses business except the two people dating.
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What the hell? I blundered around TH-cam, expecting someone to post a video "owning" the opposition, and instead I get a thoughtful, science-based take. (And I was delighted.)
This is one of the best comments I’ve ever read. Thank you so much!
I think that body count is important for both men and women it is a small demonstration of responsibility. older women I think should get more slack from men though.
I think using divorce statistics as the main metric misses an important point, which is how many people are in unhealthy and unhappy marriages - sometimes to the point of enduring violence and stress related health problems - and just refuse to get divorced due to societal stigma or their own beliefs.
As for body counts, I couldn't care less. And the idea of getting married before even knowing if you are sexually compatible at all seems insane to me.
I also don't want children and never had, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I think your last point is important. Marriage without kids is a completely different scenario. In fact, I would argue that if people don’t ever have kids, marriage isn’t necessarily more ideal than a long-term committed relationship. And, of course, there are bad marriages that end and bad marriages that persist. But because we can’t really track the bad marriages that persist as well as we can track the divorce rate, from a statistical standpoint we have to do the best we can with the info we have. 😅
Less than 6, okay. 5-10, mmm-okay, I guess. Over 10, that's rather a lot. As for cuckoos, I think men need to be aware and count up to 9 months. There are other ways to know if she is seeing other guys, just as she can usually tell if we are.
I can't speak for other men, but the idea of providing for another man's children is the very least issue in the desire for a wife that is one's own. What makes this obvious is that widows remarry and the new husband enters this arrangement without misgivings. This is about loyalty and self-discipline. Would a woman want a man who had changed jobs every three months for years?
I think what you’re saying is great. Providing for another man’s kids is the evolved reason men tend to have for desiring modest women because that was evolutionarily advantageous for men. However, that’s not the only reason, of course! Although, in the widow case, a man has a choice to provide for those kids. In a case of infidelity, the man usually doesn’t know the kids aren’t his.
Well we know this need to control how many men the woman sleeps with mostly stems from an evolutionary necessity to avoid bringing up cuckoo's children but nowadays as you said we have the pill condom etc. So it might be smart to overcome these ancient behaviours and tethink relationships... Also the correlation between body count and divorce rate probably is because they keep getting around after marriage. Imagine though being married and sleeping around would still be OK and wouldn't put the marriage into question - the correlation would most likely disappear! In case there is a pregnancy in an open marriage, the husband actually has an advantage over the "monogamous" couple because they would openly communicate and avoid something like the "dad" finding out years later thar his children's eye colors are genertically impossible with him being the father
@@hiltithedrill That’s true that it’s been a way for men to avoid raising another man’s kids - I agree with you on that in the video! But discounting the value of monogamy is likely not the answer since monogamous socieites tend to be much more stable and successful and less violent than polygamous societies. That’s why monogamy is so common in the developed world even though it’s not necessarily the norm when we look at human history.
@@Modern_Marriage not saying we should not be monogamous at all, maybe monogamISH? Because most "monogamous" couples are not - they just don't know about it and when they find out: divorce. So maybe if we could be a bit less strict and open about having intimate relationships wirh multiple humans, it would make relationships and even society more stable than now - because it would nor put into question a marriage like it does now.
@@hiltithedrill You’re right that the majority of divorced couples cite infidelity as a major reason for the divorce, usually around 60%, but infidelity tends to come after a lot of other dysfunction that often could’ve been avoided if the couple knew how to and put in the right effort to keep the marriage healthy.
@@Modern_Marriage yes effort like communicating when you like someone else and not just do it behind their back. effort like being non-judgmental towards the partner if he/she is having feelings/sexual desire for someone else without straight up questioning the relationship. would completely solve infidelity as a reason for divorce.
Of course it matters, and of course it's no one's business; that's what makes it such a hot topic. However, when you're out in the woods and a guy runs past you, I'd make the assumption that it's because there's a large, hungry bear following behind him. And when he flies by, but doesn't say anything to you, it's because it matters, and it's none of your business. Enjoy your bears ladies, and stop pretending like you have a choice.
@@mickygarcia4251 the man vs bear debate is kind of nuts!
I think body count matters. Don’t care if you are a boy or girl, if you have a past of body count then don’t talk about morals, ethics and standards.
I personally have 0 body count and I want a girl with 0 body count. Period.
Very fair criteria!
What matters is what matters to the individual. If body count matters to you then so be it. If it doesnt also so be it. It is none of anyone elses business except the two people dating.
add polygamy