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Very helpful thank you!!

what if i don’t think it’s possible to improve the marriage anymore since it’s felt like i’ve tried to change myself and he’s still him? i initiated divorce process alr but even tho he says he wants to stay married, he hasn’t done anything (or maybe even done less)?

In regards to men being big and tall and protecting their women, dating coach Jonathan Aslay noted that he's 6'2" and has never been in a fight and wouldn't know what to do. Most men also wouldn't know how to fight. Also, trust me, churches do not want single people, particularly single women. Singles are leaving or have left the church.

Excellent points!

You can't transform a relationship (marriage) with someone who doesn't want to stay married. You can jump through a thousand hoops and if they don't want to stay married or be accountable there is nothing you can do.

Great job, Cam- subscribed after seeing only this video.

Commenting before fully watching. How long am I supposed to put in the 'extra' effort before that becomes resentment? How long do I wait for him to catch up before the damage is done?

Oh you think there is a way to make a woman happy? The goal post gets moved by the month/ year. “You work too much. You don’t work enough” “you aren’t helping enough with the kids” “you don’t spend enough time with me” My ex still tries to control what time I leave for our youngest boy’s soccer game, but only when she decides she wants to attend the game.

If your friends and family hate your spouse, your marriage is unlikely to last. Don't make your friends and family hate your spouse.

States the obvious. Why not mention the dangers in being 100% nice / polite

I don’t think politics it’s one of them. I completely agree on the other two.

LAT is about marriage only. People who use that for dating aren't using it correctly...that's just "not shacking up".

We men dont care about your job. We dont care about your income. We dont care about the life you built for yourself as we don't get to be a part of that. You dont need to have a degree, be strong or independent.. All we want is to be loved and respected by a woman that is loyal, reciprocates, takes accountability and is willing to communicate and commit/invest in a relationship. If you wanna find your man, stop chasing the 10% men that will never give you more than use you as a warm body with three holes. Because it feels like every woman nowadays is just self-improvement + chasing hookups. Stop trying to be men! It was shit when we did it. Its even worse (for everyone) when you do it..

Similar? Similar enough? I usually date to get my personality complemented, not copied. I date girls because they look the absolute opposite to what I bring to the table (or the bed for that matter).

Disney princess syndrome. Do your research

The Disney princess syndrome is even worse than you describe. The whole point of the myth is she NEVER HAS TO PROVIDE ANYTHING OF VALUE to end up with the prince and the castle. It's psychotic. Why many good men just have walked away from the delusional thinking of modern feminist women.

Thanks. So helpful. 🩵💐☕🏆 I feel this is helpful even for people we meet in person. Chat before date.

You can't reinvent the wheel. Everyone thought they were going to change society and the world and all you did was remove your genetic lines from the human race. Now you want to kinda come back to something and halfway do something.. Enjoy your lives I guess

That's not necessarily a "trend." I grew up religious and this was the way I was taught. Living together before marriage is called "shaking up!" I've been married 10years and we lived together before. However I've heard of older couples doing this. They live together but have separate rooms.

Relationships should be organic between two people. Get off your high horse trying to tell people how to behave in social settings. You’re the problem.

and men with literally nothinggggggg to offer at all be like “women are gold diggers” like no we just want a man not a boy! show us you can do something with yourself!

I like where you are going with this but it also comes off as manipulative, in reference to the lack of care about the people you are practicing on.

Don’t get married

Thx

"You only have to fight once" hits hard. Hearing couples bicker over the same thing over and over again always breaks my heart, and I always try not to end up in that sort of situation. <3

Eh i dont care

The ones that say stuff like that nine times out of ten they are going to whore around on you

Attraction is tricky with everyone, attraction doesn't equal good relationship, it equals lust, not love

I really needed to hear that. Thank you

BOOOOOOOO! YOU ARE A LIAR!

Did you get picked?

Yeah and women do plenty of bad things to men like give them depression and leave them in a poor mental state.

It seems like women prefer to want to build a deluded fabtasy story in their heads when all men eanna do is find a decent safe wife....yeah...women doing this is exactly why a massive drop of like 60% of men have deleted dating apps. Ih, were also tired of AI bots lretending to be women and women pronoting their OF. Of i get 10 matches 5 are bots 2 are online prisitutes 2 are single moms and that final one never returns the messages...every male will agree with these numbers. There isnt much of a point for us to use dating apps and a lot of men nowadays are disqualifying women if they use social media ingeneral.

I don't think it's fear driving the community. I think it's the fact that not having kids is becoming more normal / less stigmatized and more people are realizing that they can shape their lives the way they want. I got sterilized at 23 because I knew I didn't want kids. I'm almost 30 now and still don't want kids. Kids don't fit into the life I want to live. If people don't want kids, that's a good reason to not have kids and that is 100% ok :)

I agree but it's not the spark that is lust. Once you actually feel a spark it doesn't stay a spark and there is no chasing or thinking missed text or dates. Those things happen it's life specially as an adult and both work. You plan for time and can't make it but you don't feel the loss just the sense of there is next time and send love with them. Understanding is a huge part that is missing.

Being involved in the mental illness/trauma community, I've seen a lot of people not trust themselves to give a child better than they grew up with. It's fear, I suppose, but it's also an honest desire to end the cycle of abuse/neglect. I've witnessed so many family members completely deny horrible childhoods and justify treating their own children essentially the same. There are just more of us who want better for the next generation and know we're so effed up that it might not be possible, and can't imagine taking a chance on hurting a child emotionally or physically. So yes, fear. But wholly justified.

I disagree that most of childfree people are lead by fear. I feel like people who are afraid of the lifestyle change / huge increase of responsibility are more likely to delay their parenthood rathen that being childfree by choice. Does some of these people end up never having kids ? Probably but I highly doubt it's a significant percentage. Does the lifestyle change plays a factor in a lot of people choice to be childfree ? Of course. But not because they are afraid of it, but because they don't want it. That is a lot of comitment just to please your parent / society if it's not something you genuinely want. And that's outside of people that just can't have that livestyle change (for financial or medical reasons). Also I disagree about the "that's a risk worth taking". You are talking about another human being there. What if you were right and you can't take care of the child ? What if they are neglected ? Underfed ? Unclothed ? Taken away by child services into the already saturated foster system because you took that risk ? Worst thing that can happen if you send a letter of application to Harvard is you get rejected. Worst thing that can happen if you have a child despite not wanting it is ruining a child's life. The consequences are way higher there. Let's also not pretend that being a parent makes you automatically love your child and cherish them. That's false. I volunteer to an elderly woman that was born in the fifties from a woman that didn't want children but was forced to because of the time she lived in. The result is that she was physically and mentally abused as a child and still has physical and mental consequences of it today in her late 60s, and struggled with it all her life. Every children deserves to be completely and unirevokably wanted and loved.

Keep going.

Love this perspective. My Dad has been telling me for years to never get married or have children. He talks about how my parents divorce ruined him financially(while also expressing zero accountability for his part in the collapse), and any woman could use the courts to take everything I ever make. While I've heard enough stories from men like my Dad to realize that is a possibility, I think the reward of a great marriage is worth the risk. I've had to learn over the past few years to look at dating/marriage from a glass half full perspective, and realize that while many marriages fail, just about as many dont. I also had to come to accept that the fate of others(including my dad) isnt a fate that is guaranteed to happen to me.

And isn't it better to build a strong and happy relationship based in love, respect and companionship rather that just building a jail you can not escape from? Because if my mother and father are all in inside my relationship, his family as well, all my life changed from one day to another and maybe I don't even have friends because I had to move to another region, I don't have anything outside the relationship! So If I'll need to get out of it, one day, no one is going to support me.

Omg yes! I'm always so confused when people say marriage didn't change anything for them.

Aka the couples that try, instead of being selfish, stay together? What a shocker.

If you are just smashing and dashing, then who cares about body count? If you're looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, then it absolutely does matter. I know it's a double standard but the reason guys are rewarded and not shamed for a high body count is very simple: it's way harder for a man to rack up a high body count. Most men don't look like The Rock. Where is even if you're an average looking woman, you'll get sex from pretty much any guy if you offer it.

Thanks for the advice

Movies not real life grow up and how very long is successful marriage 10, 15, 20, or longer?

And what should I look for in my future bride?

Good advice hope you find the right one

Ooo.

I see

One of the reasons I love my husband so much is because I am a better woman, because of him. This is so true! We are celebrating 15 years this August