One thing I can say about my marriage with a narcissist, my sex life was beyond amazing, the sad thing is I think that was the only thing keeping me attached to him, it was the only time I felt what I thought was a "true connection." (I'm guessing I was addicted to his sex because of the love bombing?) I'm now over two years celibate, I'm scared to ever let my guard down with anyone in my future. Still picking up the pieces.
Because their real life character and relationships are sh*t And you don’t know how they really are. They created a special mask for you to get in your pan**
@@LN-pm5yl God only made it between a husband and a wife for a reason. Because you are not only tied in a soul tie “like toxic friends, colleagues or family members “ no the tie is much stronger you share the same flesh. A marriage guarantees respect for both parties and that’s something that will keep toxicity out of your life.
Same story here babe. However, I'm so much happier without his lies, cheating and manipulation in my life. Took me a couple years healing to get here, and I still can't let people in enough for a guy to be interested in me. But oh well.
I think they actually believe they are the best in bed. They like to conquer one person after another to boost their ego. I also think they also get bored super quickly when having sex with one person, so they move to a new partner. It's such a sad situation to be in. I am so happy to have gotten away.
Yes. He wanted it all the time. But just the act, nothing more. There was no real intimacy. Being abused throughout the day and then giving sex at the end of the day became impossible for me. My body shut down and I couldn't stand his touch anymore. He kept on testing my boundaries to a point where I could not even act through the deed anymore. He used it as a stress reliever, an immediate source of supply. It had nothing to do with me. He developed ED through the course of the relationship and wanted to 'try' every night which meant I had to carry on for hours with this one sided act until he was satisfied. So much so that it interrupted my sleeping and sleeping pattern. So after a couple of years I just could not do this anymore. I refused him and obviously he started looking for other supply which turned out to be a good thing because he pushed me over the edge and I finally found the courage to leave. 23 days out.
Thanks for being vulnerable sharing yr story, I'm researching for our daughter who has children to control men and now it's turning on the children. It's such a horrible game they play.
I'm literally recovering from a experience with a guy who lied and manipulated me and told me he was in love with me Only to find out it was all a lie and that it was all he wanted more of my body. This is really hard
Thank you for your admission of narc and the work your doing to be aware. It is very beneficial for me to hear that someone wants to be enlightened. This has been a 24 yr rabbit hole that I am recovering from in marriage to a narc/addict. We had many recoveries/ many relapses , I continued to believe in him. Finding all of these videos helps me everyday to educate myself,to recover. I find hope( hope that gets lost) in knowing there are people that want to find peace and not hurt other people. Thank you.
I feel like just as the control is covert, the addictions are more subtle as well. Food. Gaming, gambling, self gratification. Out of control spending. Things that can be easily written off as something else or even mainstream behavior. Which when not to excess it can be. But as you said, when it's being user as a numbing agent, it becomes addictive behavior pretty easily.
I used to think I was a sex addict, I can see in hindsight that the problem was just that my ex used rampant sexuality as a system of control - which gradually dried-up as the relationship wore-on - and the reason why I was so obsessed with sex with her was because it was the only positive & enjoyable part of the relationship. I’ve now been single for almost 25 months & celibate for almost 28 months; I’m not claiming the latter is “by choice” per se, but I’ve not been actively trying to do anything about it either. If I was truly a sex addict I’d’ve had a nervous breakdown by now.
Oh my 😳😳😳. That applies to me too. Sex really was the only “good” thing about the former relationship. I do believe my ex narcissist was a sex addict though. The extent of serial cheating was insane
@@rockybalboa4593 Indeed, my ex always said - right from the beginning of the relationship - that she would never cheat if she was unhappy; in hindsight an obvious red flag from someone trying too actively to avoid suspicion (“The lady, she doth protest too much” & all that). I’m sure she cheated & monkeybranched away from me at the end, and I’m fairly sure her family knew & approved.
It helped a shit load! Thanks! This was a massive issue with my ex NARC! Massive! He could not turn off. BTW, another addiction could easily be fitness! My ex was obsessed.
I just reached the same point. You're at where! It's so overwhelming that I have to be aware of it almost but I literally have been up for over 24 hours watching the videos that are just explaining me and I keep going down rabbit holes and it's kind of scary
My Ex Narc used to have a very passionate nature when we first met and we would both do it often. Then after the arguments, the cycles of abuse, the discards, the hoovering and his flirting etc both our 'wanting it' dwindled. Me, because I felt my confidence and Self-Esteem eroded so I couldn't let my brick wall down as I couldn't trust him. He, probably because he couldn't control me and had or was looking for other supply. 🍒
This is the karma I think is going take my kids father from them. His infidelity and addiction to girls not women will be the end of him. He won’t be able to deny it then.
@@TheTRADMOM I’m sorry you have to go through that!! But you keep doing you and be strong and there for your children!! Just when you think that all the things that happen in the dark will soon come to the light!! He’ll get what’s coming to him!! Have faith and keep loving yourself and your children and let God do the rest!! In my prayers!!🙏
@@tinawalker5335 I’m sorry you’re having to go through such pain!! I’m still being told about things he did and it’s been almost a year since he died!! He filmed us being intimate without my consent and I’ve learned one thing from him, and this might not be my place to say anything but if I was you, get away from him as fast as you can!! For you and your you alone!! You shouldn’t have to go through any of the pain they inflict on us!! You’re worth so much more than he’s willing to give you and at his age, you deserve the world, but as narcissists they can’t give it to anyone, let alone us!! I hope you can get as far away from him as you possibly can while you still have a chance!! You are so loved and better than him!! I pray you have healing and peace!! Better days are ahead of you, just gotta keep pushing forward and keep yourself healthy, mind and spirit!! No one deserves what they put us through!! It’s not too late to start a new chapter, a new chapter where you can write the story and especially the ending!! Sending you love and light!!
Just last night, I was lying in bed, thinking about him. Thoughts ranging between hate and pity. Hate because someone, a person, a human being, could be so hateful and cunningly vindictive. Pity because I know now that they can never feel the fulfilling, satisfying emotion of true happiness or love. How sad is that.
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My ex hid his alcoholism and opioid addiction until we moved in together. I was trapped, very soon after….. oh gosh…… I’d get a different version of him daily. Not sure about the sex, he was very sexually attracted to me in the beginning, but then began to withdraw/ withholding sex, even kissing, hand holding. Essentially any intimacy be it physical or emotional
@@kimberlymorrison4880 I do hope you are doing better and feeling better…….. you are not alone, and remember….. you can rely on YOURSELF. esier said than done, but TOU ARE STRONG AND CAN HEAL…… MUCH LOVE TO YOU
I appreciate the insight you provide, just discovered your channel. I’ve been with my narc over half my life and have been working on myself, learning to love myself, for 5 years now. It’s been painful, but worth it nonetheless and I’m still healing. Dealing with the loss of our faked “future” is the hardest now, our babies are adults (only thing we got right) so everything from renewing our vows to traveling (even sex stuff) isn’t going to happen. I feel like I lost part of my future, looking forward to a ghost, loving someone who faked who he was in our marriage. So many horrible things happened. Still are but doesn’t affect me anymore because I see who he really is. It’s sad/pathetic and I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME. I want people to know you can heal, you can always learn about yourself and it’s worth all the pain and effort and the TIME you’ll save. Thanks for reading my long post, I rarely share and I’m trying to change that. We’re not alone not exclusive to this abuse and I appreciate all of you for sharing, thank you 🙏 ✌🏼💜💪
I'm gay, 28. I've been with my ex narc boyfriend for almost 2 years. He had a long history of hookups and sexual encounters before me, sometimes bigger groups and multiple people at the same time. He miraculously stopped pursuing that once we met eachother. Then all the projections happened. He kept implying that I am the one who did not "do enough" before meeting him, and that I would always be hungry for more. Truth is, I had some fantasies about doing the "deed" with him and someone else, experiment together, but I did not pursue that in any way, because he was simply blocking me after I brought it up. He said "He's had enough in the past, and he is a pathological monogamist (LOL) so any experiments are out of the question". Right after i broke up with him for constant gaslighting me, blame shifting and isolating me from my friends and blaming me for everything that happened between us, he somehow exploded and had a streak of multiple partners a day and he was bombing me with the details. We still lived together for a month because I didn't want to be an asshole and throw him out immediately. After I had some alone time, I had time to reflect and realised it was all fake, all a projection, and he might have been cheating on me all along. Drug problems too, he kept snorting some powders and even when caught red handed he gaslighted me into thinking I've had dementia or hallucinations. Weed addiction, to the point he was acting like a zombie after smoking so much. Blaming me for not wanting to have sex with him, after all the hurt. He even blamed me for him gaining a couple of kilo's, because I was the one who provided him with basic needs, and either got groceries, cooked or ordered food. SHOULDA EAT LESS MF! Just got tested for STD's and waiting for my results. Wish you and your viewers all the best
I just got out of a gay relationship with someone who had a drinking & sex addiction. Pretty sure he also had NPD. He was highly manipulative. I realized it pretty early on and went no contact. After a month went by he called me with the best sob story I’d ever heard and stated I was the love of his life, wanted to get married, etc… 3 months after that the whole cycle started to show again. I do believe he was trying to fight it, but at the end of the day, his demons were just too intense. I remember when we broke up I started crying and he tried to make out with me. Like he got some sort of sick pleasure out of it. I’m so glad I was only with him for 8 months. What a train wreck that was!
@rawmotivations My narc ex is on all the platforms that I seek support. I can't even comment here. (He also follows you) He abused me then went to the threads to smear me, get support and discredit me before I even had a chance to try and heal! He's getting so much support from my survivor/thriver groups posing as the victim. It was so bad, I had to leave. (Which is what he wanted). This is why I require 1 on 1's. I can't trust that the narcissists aren't in the group settings...I know my ex is. I have no clue how to navigate this situation. He seems to always be everywhere and 1 step ahead of me. Any advice? I love your content, but so do the Narcissists. They use all of this as new ways to manipulate. It's like new arsenal for them! They're sneaky AF!
All of the groups where you work with me have a high level of security and we know and control has access to those groups. No topic person is getting in. Https://www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
My ex narc when I met him (him being married ) told me she would not have sex with him but he would say he was a sex addict that you could only show someone you loved them by having sex . Would start a fight say now it’s time to have makeup sex. When we moved in together he changed . Then to only find out he lived with me but still had his wife . Moved out went back to her but lied to me he was not with her found out he was turned his ass in to wife . But she still has him . He is a drunk too
Me and my ex narc had A LOT of sex. Often and quite a bit. Even when he was love bombing other women that I didn’t know about at the time. Smh he knows that I enjoy sex so he would engage often to keep me satisfied enough to not question him about his bad behaviors.
Thank you for being honest and open. I hope that you do know the real God. I don't know your story, but I'm glad that you have chosen to take care of yourself and be accountable.
I've saved five discard reverse discard, we have made it through six. Giving my narc the sixth. I love my smnpd partner. And I am here for her 100% both victims in this experience.
Is it a sign of a narc if the person has a lot of sex with the partner but hardly ever kisses them? Kissing is about emotional intimacy so I wonder about that
We had a moment when we had an intimate coupling. He is a narc/addict. When I found gay porn over and over it ruined the most important part of continuing to have that close feeling for him. That was such an ongoing demoralization from a women’s point of view. The narc/addict would not even bring this up in conversation. I know now it was because it was a mutual ideology, not singular,the narc.
Hey Ben, Benny, Benno. That background music... does it have a silence button? I like your videos better without the added dramatic effect and 3mins of repeating adds (maybe you could put those at the end?)
They want to move “their” relationship with you by their own timeline and comfort. It’s a one road that leads you to their happy ending. When you shift the road they will try to respawn you back in their lane. They will be bitter when you cross by them. with time they will HAVE TO respect you. They will keep dangling that carrot until they get tired and hungry and get up and eat it. Just let them see you’ve got a stash and you don’t need it
The sex that kept me alive towards him. He was amazing. Literally sex bombed me. When I confessed my love- he withheld, turned cold and ultimately discarded me which means No Intimacy from his end. Everything was fake from day one. he had and has other supplies most certainly. I knew from day one he loved sex. But never imagined he was a community sex messiah. It is bound to be short lived. intimacy and commitment from him are just my fantastical imagination. He is absolutely not bothered how much he devastated me. he never cared for me. Left me in the most horrible state and never looked back. I am still trying to move on . No contact with him. May God help me!
My X, who I truly believe is a narcissistic was also a sex addict from what I experience with him. He wanted it all the time, multiple times a day and for as long and the WAY that he wanted it. I was and still am not built like that. So he was always unsatisfied with our sex life and would often let me know that. That made me feel very inferior and that I should try harder or to change me to appease him. That did not work either, again, I was not built that way. He made me feel very uncomfortable by wanting me to do things that I felt were demeaning to me. He also force me to have sex with him one time when he was very angry with me. That was a nightmare. I am so glad that I am out of that relationship. I never knew just how damaging this all was to my sense or self worth until I got out and started re-evaluating everything in my life.
I'm learning too many details. I just feel disgust now, in my stomach. So many details come to mind in relation to things they bring in bed/house that just popped out of nowhere.
My ex narc loved loved loved porn and sex! He would ALWAYS tried to hide it from me. Up in the middle of the night watching porn. And sex with him was a challenge. He had this crazy fetish of having sex in the same place same time in the same positions ALL the TIME. It felt weird so I Stopped having sex with him...
So, there's a distinction between the motivation of a sexual addict and a sexual narcissist. The impact to the victim is the same. They feel devalued and dehumanized.😢
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
I’m 20 years and married to my 27 year old husband I met him when I was 16 & he was 22 years old I will admit the first month of our relationship I told him I was 18 but a month later the truth came out that I was only 16 he stayed we have 4 kids a girl she’s 3 I had her at 17 a son he’s 2 I had him at 18 and twin boys their 1 I had them at 19 …… anyway one thing I didn’t expect was the consistent sex and lies hurt cheating … my husband is a narcissist sex addict … it’s hard the fact that I’m such a loving & caring person but I get bashed almost every morning because when I’m sleep he tries to have sex with me and I noticed that a year ago his touch didn’t feel right I felt disgusting to this day I’m not sure why I just think my body is shutting down from it but this whole thing has gotten out of control and I’m scared to speak to him or anyone really about it this is first time I’m coming out.. but it’s gotten so bad to where he’s having sex with me while I’m sleep I don’t realize what happened until I wake up he tells me , he even screams at our 1 year old twins to be quiet when he wants to masturbates and they need a bottle or diaper change. He gets very frustrated and throws in my face how he never gets oral sex or any sex which is not true I give it to him even when I don’t … this whole thing has ruined our relationship my self esteem he had sex with my friends when I was 16 right next to me in bed he’s messed around with multiple friends including my best friend 💔idk what to do it seems so hard to leave & honestly I don’t want to I just want him to change but not everyone changes
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In my case day after the abusive behavior, or while I’m extremely tired, or didn’t have enough sleep, he would still feel entitled to have sex. And use religious manipulations later if I would refuse. And also every time I must enjoy having sex, otherwise he will get angry. If I’m not showing interest in sex first(not initiating) he would play victim: “poor me, suffering here alone… no one wants me”, adding religion “angels will curse”… - Making me burn out of guilt, making me believe that I’m having the problem, maybe mental issue or physical condition that I’m not able to be consent on demand. All of these behavior brought so much anxiety and resentment in me through the years. Also always feeling pressure about sex, such as being reminded of how many seducing women are out there, how much they want to have sex because they wear revealing clothes, how it would be fun to have sex with them, and adding that all men are created like this. Really I’m still confused…
My ex is 41 2 duis at 23 and 39 years old. Sex addiction....and then gambling. Mind blown. Had to get away. Sex addiction means that I know she can't stay faithful to me long term
How can a narc become 'free' from their sex ( drive)..it seems to good to be true..I know an 82 years old man(!) still talking mostly about his lust..and I know there are many ways he uses to enjoy sex. Of course from media. This man is married, but the wife have dementia..😔 He says; cheating is all right. Whenever, wherever ..in his 'world'...Can a narc really be cured? Hm...🤔
Yes I agree 100% with every thing you have said here. Gambleing and alcohol ,befor I met him. He quit drinking and gambling on his own. Then it was sex. Sex with me everyday and affairs that I eventually found out about. We Split because that I found out about and he went to meth and that supply.and he has been trying to get me into bed for the past 15 years although he was living with that other female. I also found out he was getting sex for drugs as payment.still trying to get with me as well as that other supply . I can laugh at him now right in his face with a big fat No. But he won't give up. I feel like if he ever puts his hands on me again I will call the police and press charges of . forcible touching.
He married me to suck my resources and wouldn't live my body alone. He would want it everyday and would get upset if I wanted to keep my body for myself for one night. He was the most selfish and entitled person I've ever known. I divorced him after 2 years. He's says he drinks because of me now, he's the king of blame shifting.
I have a question if you’re with The narcissist and you don’t want sex but obviously they’re not letting up so you given is that like in that consensual rape in a way?
It depends what country you are in. Marital rape, and Sexual Coercion are recognized in some countries. Sometimes it depends how “bad” the incident(s) were.
Si parla spesso di come i narcisisti usino spesso il sesso per creare una dipendenza nelle loro " vittime". Solo io ho perso interesse( in modo graduale ma inesorabile)nel sesso con ex narc.quando dal lovebombing è passato al gaslight? Giuro, il mio corpo lo rifiutava.
Re. sex addiction in general: not all super high sex drives have the actual addiction. It's all about how they handle/ is it destroying their life. Not all cheaters are, either. As it goes with ALL addictions IT IS NEVER ABOUT ANY ONE THING. 😉
One thing I can say about my marriage with a narcissist, my sex life was beyond amazing, the sad thing is I think that was the only thing keeping me attached to him, it was the only time I felt what I thought was a "true connection." (I'm guessing I was addicted to his sex because of the love bombing?)
I'm now over two years celibate, I'm scared to ever let my guard down with anyone in my future. Still picking up the pieces.
I too think that was the thing that kept me going back to mine.
Because their real life character and relationships are sh*t And you don’t know how they really are. They created a special mask for you to get in your pan**
Celibacy has been a great thing for me. I hroke mine after 4 years and regretted it so now I am back 1 year +
@@LN-pm5yl God only made it between a husband and a wife for a reason. Because you are not only tied in a soul tie “like toxic friends, colleagues or family members “ no the tie is much stronger you share the same flesh. A marriage guarantees respect for both parties and that’s something that will keep toxicity out of your life.
Same story here babe. However, I'm so much happier without his lies, cheating and manipulation in my life. Took me a couple years healing to get here, and I still can't let people in enough for a guy to be interested in me. But oh well.
I think they actually believe they are the best in bed. They like to conquer one person after another to boost their ego. I also think they also get bored super quickly when having sex with one person, so they move to a new partner.
It's such a sad situation to be in. I am so happy to have gotten away.
Yes. He wanted it all the time. But just the act, nothing more. There was no real intimacy. Being abused throughout the day and then giving sex at the end of the day became impossible for me. My body shut down and I couldn't stand his touch anymore. He kept on testing my boundaries to a point where I could not even act through the deed anymore. He used it as a stress reliever, an immediate source of supply. It had nothing to do with me. He developed ED through the course of the relationship and wanted to 'try' every night which meant I had to carry on for hours with this one sided act until he was satisfied. So much so that it interrupted my sleeping and sleeping pattern. So after a couple of years I just could not do this anymore. I refused him and obviously he started looking for other supply which turned out to be a good thing because he pushed me over the edge and I finally found the courage to leave. 23 days out.
Good job, put God first. Congrats 🎉
@@Africanman341 It's 4 months today!
So proud of you!
@@Africanman341 5 months. I thought it would be easier. Feeling like Jona spit out by the whale. Still dazed and confused on an unknown beach.
Stay away from them they are the real addicts to anything that lets them keep using them 💯…
🙏🏾💪🏽3months #Free_From-🙅🏽♀️Narc🚩🚩
Thanks for being vulnerable sharing yr story, I'm researching for our daughter who has children to control men and now it's turning on the children. It's such a horrible game they play.
These people destroy others.
Wow, this guy is very courageous. I’ve never seen a guy speaking about himself like this.
Yes they do . Unfortunately that’s all they have to offer .. period. Thanks for educating us All .
All they have to offer! No foreal!!!
I'm literally recovering from a experience with a guy who lied and manipulated me and told me he was in love with me Only to find out it was all a lie and that it was all he wanted more of my body. This is really hard
I'm going through this exact thing, and it sucks.
Thank you for your admission of narc and the work your doing to be aware. It is very beneficial for me to hear that someone
wants to be enlightened. This has been a 24 yr rabbit hole that I am recovering from in marriage to a narc/addict.
We had many recoveries/ many relapses , I continued to believe in him. Finding all of these videos helps me everyday to educate
myself,to recover. I find hope( hope that gets lost) in knowing there are people that want to find peace and not hurt other people.
Thank you.
I feel like just as the control is covert, the addictions are more subtle as well. Food. Gaming, gambling, self gratification. Out of control spending. Things that can be easily written off as something else or even mainstream behavior. Which when not to excess it can be. But as you said, when it's being user as a numbing agent, it becomes addictive behavior pretty easily.
It's weaponized uninvolvement.
Maybe we should call it weaponized detachment?
I used to think I was a sex addict, I can see in hindsight that the problem was just that my ex used rampant sexuality as a system of control - which gradually dried-up as the relationship wore-on - and the reason why I was so obsessed with sex with her was because it was the only positive & enjoyable part of the relationship. I’ve now been single for almost 25 months & celibate for almost 28 months; I’m not claiming the latter is “by choice” per se, but I’ve not been actively trying to do anything about it either. If I was truly a sex addict I’d’ve had a nervous breakdown by now.
Oh my 😳😳😳. That applies to me too. Sex really was the only “good” thing about the former relationship. I do believe my ex narcissist was a sex addict though. The extent of serial cheating was insane
I can relate to this so much,wow.
Gave me anxiety just thinking about it, I'm now sweatingand my knees started shaking,how crazy. 😔🤠
@@rockybalboa4593 Indeed, my ex always said - right from the beginning of the relationship - that she would never cheat if she was unhappy; in hindsight an obvious red flag from someone trying too actively to avoid suspicion (“The lady, she doth protest too much” & all that). I’m sure she cheated & monkeybranched away from me at the end, and I’m fairly sure her family knew & approved.
@@ayttiiie7 Just try to focus on the fact that - I presume - you’re not still in that predicament now. If you are, focus on getting out.
I really appreciate your honesty, and man it's huge that you can admit this and that you are truly trying to heal, and being realistic. Thank you ❤
It helped a shit load! Thanks! This was a massive issue with my ex NARC! Massive! He could not turn off. BTW, another addiction could easily be fitness! My ex was obsessed.
do we have the same ex? 😮
@@hashh2019 They must have read the same manual 😂
Also here to say the said 😮
I gotta tell ya, only a narcissist has to tell everyone they're a lion not a sheep...
I just reached the same point. You're at where! It's so overwhelming that I have to be aware of it almost but I literally have been up for over 24 hours watching the videos that are just explaining me and I keep going down rabbit holes and it's kind of scary
Wow! Thank you for your honesty! This is very helpful! Peace and Light!
My Ex Narc used to have a very passionate nature when we first met and we would both do it often. Then after the arguments, the cycles of abuse, the discards, the hoovering and his flirting etc both our 'wanting it' dwindled. Me, because I felt my confidence and Self-Esteem eroded so I couldn't let my brick wall down as I couldn't trust him. He, probably because he couldn't control me and had or was looking for other supply. 🍒
I guess I’m lucky because my covert narcissist died on his last “night out with an escort”!! Today would’ve been our fourth anniversary!!!
This is the karma I think is going take my kids father from them. His infidelity and addiction to girls not women will be the end of him. He won’t be able to deny it then.
Rest in p-y but yes that could very well happen to mine as well. He’s 60’and still has no boundaries or self discipline.
@@TheTRADMOM I’m sorry you have to go through that!! But you keep doing you and be strong and there for your children!! Just when you think that all the things that happen in the dark will soon come to the light!! He’ll get what’s coming to him!! Have faith and keep loving yourself and your children and let God do the rest!! In my prayers!!🙏
@@tinawalker5335 I’m sorry you’re having to go through such pain!! I’m still being told about things he did and it’s been almost a year since he died!! He filmed us being intimate without my consent and I’ve learned one thing from him, and this might not be my place to say anything but if I was you, get away from him as fast as you can!! For you and your you alone!! You shouldn’t have to go through any of the pain they inflict on us!! You’re worth so much more than he’s willing to give you and at his age, you deserve the world, but as narcissists they can’t give it to anyone, let alone us!! I hope you can get as far away from him as you possibly can while you still have a chance!! You are so loved and better than him!! I pray you have healing and peace!! Better days are ahead of you, just gotta keep pushing forward and keep yourself healthy, mind and spirit!! No one deserves what they put us through!! It’s not too late to start a new chapter, a new chapter where you can write the story and especially the ending!! Sending you love and light!!
😂😂
Just last night, I was lying in bed, thinking about him. Thoughts ranging between hate and pity. Hate because someone, a person, a human being, could be so hateful and cunningly vindictive. Pity because I know now that they can never feel the fulfilling, satisfying emotion of true happiness or love. How sad is that.
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
My ex hid his alcoholism and opioid addiction until we moved in together. I was trapped, very soon after….. oh gosh…… I’d get a different version of him daily. Not sure about the sex, he was very sexually attracted to me in the beginning, but then began to withdraw/ withholding sex, even kissing, hand holding. Essentially any intimacy be it physical or emotional
same here
@@kimberlymorrison4880 I do hope you are doing better and feeling better…….. you are not alone, and remember….. you can rely on YOURSELF. esier said than done, but TOU ARE STRONG AND CAN HEAL…… MUCH LOVE TO YOU
Same. Alcoholism was hidden. I didn't know what his p*rn was going to do to me. I was replaced.
I appreciate the insight you provide, just discovered your channel. I’ve been with my narc over half my life and have been working on myself, learning to love myself, for 5 years now. It’s been painful, but worth it nonetheless and I’m still healing. Dealing with the loss of our faked “future” is the hardest now, our babies are adults (only thing we got right) so everything from renewing our vows to traveling (even sex stuff) isn’t going to happen. I feel like I lost part of my future, looking forward to a ghost, loving someone who faked who he was in our marriage. So many horrible things happened. Still are but doesn’t affect me anymore because I see who he really is. It’s sad/pathetic and I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME. I want people to know you can heal, you can always learn about yourself and it’s worth all the pain and effort and the TIME you’ll save. Thanks for reading my long post, I rarely share and I’m trying to change that. We’re not alone not exclusive to this abuse and I appreciate all of you for sharing, thank you 🙏 ✌🏼💜💪
Absolutely. I am glad you found it helpful. Check out rawmotivations.com to go even more in depth on your healing.
25 + years no escape in sight.
Same I was 19 and now I’m 43 and just getting away.
@@tinawalker5335 that’s great! you’re so strong for doing this, congratulations and keep going.
I'm gay, 28. I've been with my ex narc boyfriend for almost 2 years. He had a long history of hookups and sexual encounters before me, sometimes bigger groups and multiple people at the same time. He miraculously stopped pursuing that once we met eachother. Then all the projections happened. He kept implying that I am the one who did not "do enough" before meeting him, and that I would always be hungry for more.
Truth is, I had some fantasies about doing the "deed" with him and someone else, experiment together, but I did not pursue that in any way, because he was simply blocking me after I brought it up. He said "He's had enough in the past, and he is a pathological monogamist (LOL) so any experiments are out of the question".
Right after i broke up with him for constant gaslighting me, blame shifting and isolating me from my friends and blaming me for everything that happened between us, he somehow exploded and had a streak of multiple partners a day and he was bombing me with the details. We still lived together for a month because I didn't want to be an asshole and throw him out immediately.
After I had some alone time, I had time to reflect and realised it was all fake, all a projection, and he might have been cheating on me all along. Drug problems too, he kept snorting some powders and even when caught red handed he gaslighted me into thinking I've had dementia or hallucinations. Weed addiction, to the point he was acting like a zombie after smoking so much. Blaming me for not wanting to have sex with him, after all the hurt. He even blamed me for him gaining a couple of kilo's, because I was the one who provided him with basic needs, and either got groceries, cooked or ordered food.
SHOULDA EAT LESS MF!
Just got tested for STD's and waiting for my results. Wish you and your viewers all the best
I just got out of a gay relationship with someone who had a drinking & sex addiction. Pretty sure he also had NPD. He was highly manipulative. I realized it pretty early on and went no contact. After a month went by he called me with the best sob story I’d ever heard and stated I was the love of his life, wanted to get married, etc… 3 months after that the whole cycle started to show again. I do believe he was trying to fight it, but at the end of the day, his demons were just too intense. I remember when we broke up I started crying and he tried to make out with me. Like he got some sort of sick pleasure out of it. I’m so glad I was only with him for 8 months. What a train wreck that was!
@rawmotivations My narc ex is on all the platforms that I seek support. I can't even comment here. (He also follows you) He abused me then went to the threads to smear me, get support and discredit me before I even had a chance to try and heal! He's getting so much support from my survivor/thriver groups posing as the victim. It was so bad, I had to leave. (Which is what he wanted). This is why I require 1 on 1's. I can't trust that the narcissists aren't in the group settings...I know my ex is. I have no clue how to navigate this situation. He seems to always be everywhere and 1 step ahead of me. Any advice?
I love your content, but so do the Narcissists. They use all of this as new ways to manipulate. It's like new arsenal for them! They're sneaky AF!
All of the groups where you work with me have a high level of security and we know and control has access to those groups. No topic person is getting in. Https://www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
My ex narc when I met him (him being married ) told me she would not have sex with him but he would say he was a sex addict that you could only show someone you loved them by having sex . Would start a fight say now it’s time to have makeup sex. When we moved in together he changed . Then to only find out he lived with me but still had his wife . Moved out went back to her but lied to me he was not with her found out he was turned his ass in to wife . But she still has him . He is a drunk too
Me and my ex narc had A LOT of sex. Often and quite a bit. Even when he was love bombing other women that I didn’t know about at the time. Smh he knows that I enjoy sex so he would engage often to keep me satisfied enough to not question him about his bad behaviors.
That doesn’t just want you wanna hurt him really bad like I got cheated on and it’s really bothering fr
My narcisstic family cult drove me to sex addiction as pain killer and way to ‘cope’
Thank you for being honest and open.
I hope that you do know the real God. I don't know your story, but I'm glad that you have chosen to take care of yourself and be accountable.
I appreciate that
I've saved five discard reverse discard, we have made it through six. Giving my narc the sixth. I love my smnpd partner. And I am here for her 100% both victims in this experience.
I had a huge sexual urge. And that landed me up with narcissistic demonic creatures 😅
They also want to tie a person to them by getting them pregnant or lying about birth control.
yes yes that's true..they like to make a woman pregnant
yep, baby trapping
Happened to me 😢
Or... they demand that the woman have an abortion and will leave her pregnant if she refuses.
@@joanofarcxxiyup that happened to me 😞
This is more than amazingly helpful! It's triggering and bringing up a lot of stuff for me inwardly, however.
Narcs also withhold sex as a way to devalue someone and run someones self esteem down.
Thank you for this video!
Sometimes, they also avoid sex. They are not all addictive
Is it a sign of a narc if the person has a lot of sex with the partner but hardly ever kisses them? Kissing is about emotional intimacy so I wonder about that
We had a moment when we had an intimate coupling. He is a narc/addict. When I found gay porn over and over it ruined the
most important part of continuing to have that close feeling for him. That was such an ongoing demoralization from a women’s point of view. The narc/addict would not even bring this up in conversation. I know now it was because it was a mutual ideology, not singular,the narc.
Hey Ben, Benny, Benno. That background music... does it have a silence button? I like your videos better without the added dramatic effect and 3mins of repeating adds (maybe you could put those at the end?)
They want to move “their” relationship with you by their own timeline and comfort. It’s a one road that leads you to their happy ending. When you shift the road they will try to respawn you back in their lane.
They will be bitter when you cross by them. with time they will HAVE TO respect you.
They will keep dangling that carrot until they get tired and hungry and get up and eat it.
Just let them see you’ve got a stash and you don’t need it
Exactly!
The sex that kept me alive towards him. He was amazing. Literally sex bombed me. When I confessed my love- he withheld, turned cold and ultimately discarded me which means No Intimacy from his end. Everything was fake from day one. he had and has other supplies most certainly. I knew from day one he loved sex. But never imagined he was a community sex messiah. It is bound to be short lived. intimacy and commitment from him are just my fantastical imagination. He is absolutely not bothered how much he devastated me. he never cared for me. Left me in the most horrible state and never looked back. I am still trying to move on . No contact with him. May God help me!
Hold ON there if eager to learn,,,,,unfortunately there is a 5 min intro b4 we get to the point and when we get there we actually dont learn anything
My X, who I truly believe is a narcissistic was also a sex addict from what I experience with him. He wanted it all the time, multiple times a day and for as long and the WAY that he wanted it. I was and still am not built like that. So he was always unsatisfied with our sex life and would often let me know that. That made me feel very inferior and that I should try harder or to change me to appease him. That did not work either, again, I was not built that way. He made me feel very uncomfortable by wanting me to do things that I felt were demeaning to me. He also force me to have sex with him one time when he was very angry with me. That was a nightmare. I am so glad that I am out of that relationship. I never knew just how damaging this all was to my sense or self worth until I got out and started re-evaluating everything in my life.
Looking for something different is also a part of sex addiction. All sex partners get old. Sex addicts like new all the time
Agree as one also porn adds to it
I'm learning too many details. I just feel disgust now, in my stomach. So many details come to mind in relation to things they bring in bed/house that just popped out of nowhere.
It was HORRIBLE, happy I didn't care too much about it with him.
My ex narc loved loved loved porn and sex! He would ALWAYS tried to hide it from me. Up in the middle of the night watching porn. And sex with him was a challenge. He had this crazy fetish of having sex in the same place same time in the same positions ALL the TIME. It felt weird so I Stopped having sex with him...
Yep same! 2 narcs in a row and they both ended up being huge porn addicts ...like to the point it interfered with their daily life, like holy shit...
So, there's a distinction between the motivation of a sexual addict and a sexual narcissist. The impact to the victim is the same. They feel devalued and dehumanized.😢
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Gus Figueroa, South Bend, IN
So true I didn’t know the children’s father was a cocaine and porn addict until I was six months pregnant with my daughter by then it was too late
I’m 20 years and married to my 27 year old husband I met him when I was 16 & he was 22 years old I will admit the first month of our relationship I told him I was 18 but a month later the truth came out that I was only 16 he stayed we have 4 kids a girl she’s 3 I had her at 17 a son he’s 2 I had him at 18 and twin boys their 1 I had them at 19 …… anyway one thing I didn’t expect was the consistent sex and lies hurt cheating … my husband is a narcissist sex addict … it’s hard the fact that I’m such a loving & caring person but I get bashed almost every morning because when I’m sleep he tries to have sex with me and I noticed that a year ago his touch didn’t feel right I felt disgusting to this day I’m not sure why I just think my body is shutting down from it but this whole thing has gotten out of control and I’m scared to speak to him or anyone really about it this is first time I’m coming out.. but it’s gotten so bad to where he’s having sex with me while I’m sleep I don’t realize what happened until I wake up he tells me , he even screams at our 1 year old twins to be quiet when he wants to masturbates and they need a bottle or diaper change. He gets very frustrated and throws in my face how he never gets oral sex or any sex which is not true I give it to him even when I don’t … this whole thing has ruined our relationship my self esteem he had sex with my friends when I was 16 right next to me in bed he’s messed around with multiple friends including my best friend 💔idk what to do it seems so hard to leave & honestly I don’t want to I just want him to change but not everyone changes
Hi there I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
In my case day after the abusive behavior, or while I’m extremely tired, or didn’t have enough sleep, he would still feel entitled to have sex. And use religious manipulations later if I would refuse. And also every time I must enjoy having sex, otherwise he will get angry.
If I’m not showing interest in sex first(not initiating) he would play victim: “poor me, suffering here alone… no one wants me”, adding religion “angels will curse”… - Making me burn out of guilt, making me believe that I’m having the problem, maybe mental issue or physical condition that I’m not able to be consent on demand.
All of these behavior brought so much anxiety and resentment in me through the years.
Also always feeling pressure about sex, such as being reminded of how many seducing women are out there, how much they want to have sex because they wear revealing clothes, how it would be fun to have sex with them, and adding that all men are created like this.
Really I’m still confused…
Start your healing here www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
The bank keeps shutting down their debit card😮
My ex is 41 2 duis at 23 and 39 years old. Sex addiction....and then gambling. Mind blown. Had to get away. Sex addiction means that I know she can't stay faithful to me long term
How can a narc become 'free' from their sex ( drive)..it seems to good to be true..I know an 82 years old man(!) still talking mostly about his lust..and I know there are many ways he uses to enjoy sex. Of course from media. This man is married, but the wife have dementia..😔 He says; cheating is all right. Whenever, wherever ..in his 'world'...Can a narc really be cured? Hm...🤔
Can you gove me the link to that app. I cant find it.
Thank you for your comment, here is the link www.rawmotivations.com/trial
Yes I agree 100% with every thing you have said here. Gambleing and alcohol ,befor I met him. He quit drinking and gambling on his own. Then it was sex. Sex with me everyday and affairs that I eventually found out about. We Split because that I found out about and he went to meth and that supply.and he has been trying to get me into bed for the past 15 years although he was living with that other female. I also found out he was getting sex for drugs as payment.still trying to get with me as well as that other supply . I can laugh at him now right in his face with a big fat No. But he won't give up. I feel like if he ever puts his hands on me again I will call the police and press charges of . forcible touching.
What is the program you did?
He married me to suck my resources and wouldn't live my body alone. He would want it everyday and would get upset if I wanted to keep my body for myself for one night. He was the most selfish and entitled person I've ever known. I divorced him after 2 years. He's says he drinks because of me now, he's the king of blame shifting.
I have a question if you’re with The narcissist and you don’t want sex but obviously they’re not letting up so you given is that like in that consensual rape in a way?
Try this video th-cam.com/video/Co-zUg9TYyc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=RQ33-CTzdIj7KRbV
It depends what country you are in.
Marital rape, and Sexual Coercion are recognized in some countries. Sometimes it depends how “bad” the incident(s) were.
I agree💯💯💯
Why are there so many…. narcissists period
Do they use sec to manipulate?
Yes
All of this is just sad...
it is
“Look at all the lonely people.”
Everybody on TH-cam these days is a "self aware narcissist " and proud of the fact! Lol😅
I know ! Youre absolutely right ! I wouldn't dare tell anybody if I was THAT fkkkd up, I'd hide under a rock😅
Based on your addict.😊
They ain't that good😂
Are male narcs secrets gay
The one I once knew was a textbook case!
I have my suspensions 🤔🧐
@@tularashi1586 - I think you meant to say _suspicions._
@ruthann what wym ?
I wonder that myself
Lions not ……. Sheep?
Pretty dumb 👕 eh? Lol
Si parla spesso di come i narcisisti usino spesso il sesso per creare una dipendenza nelle loro " vittime". Solo io ho perso interesse( in modo graduale ma inesorabile)nel sesso con ex narc.quando dal lovebombing è passato al gaslight? Giuro, il mio corpo lo rifiutava.
They're called swingers.
Re. sex addiction in general: not all super high sex drives have the actual addiction. It's all about how they handle/ is it destroying their life.
Not all cheaters are, either. As it goes with ALL addictions
IT IS NEVER ABOUT ANY ONE THING. 😉
GGOD FOR YOU