It´s still hard to get over fact that everything about her was fake, It´s been 2 years since the breakup. I don´t miss her, but very scary how fake people are.
Yeah I know what you mean. I was so genuine and he was so fake. He was a covert narcissist. Maybe she was too in your case ? They tend to be fake and play mind games. Know your worth and move on as I did. Peace and light ❤
I like that you jump right into the topic without unnecessary long introductions and noisy shows. I hope you keep your style of video s like this. Simple and natural. I love it. Thanks.
"Letting go of the idea, the thought of who they were" > yep that's IT! Mourn the illusion, NOT the person. This is the road OUT of denial and beginning to heal. A manipulative and toxic person was never your "soul mate", no matter how well he or she might have faked it. Often we feel sad at the emptiness after a break up, which is human nature. We may miss being in a relationship, but not THAT one.
Mourn the Illusion, NOT the person. You're not mourning the person, you're mourning the illusion. That's the best wording I've seen so far. I'm going to use it! Thanks :)
Such a phenomenal concept. The narcissist needs you to need them, thus exploiting your weaknesses and dangling what you need in order for you to become 1000% dependent. They want control and your soul. My friends, leave and stay gone. Please.
These creatures feed you a kind of sweet poison in such a way that when they cut the love supply (one of the tactics), the victim begs them and would literally do anything to feel that fake love bombing phase again. When they try to discard you, you get burst into tears and beg these pigs. That feeds their ego. Even at very young age, these creatures are already master of manipulation.
I've been so confused and frustrated with myself. It was such a short and painful thing. She heard all of my vulnerabilities and in the discard used each and every one against me. I still kept thinking about the good bit, the love bomb, but am scared of her which keeps me free from her.
This explains my ex wife. I have never known a person change so much from the person I married compared to the person I walked away from. One lesson I learned was observe how this person treats others. Their family friends and strangers especially service staff. Are these people treated as utility tools? Do their friend come and go? Do they disrespect people who do not benefit them? Only call family when they want something? Because in time you will also be treated like a disposable object to.
that was good to hear. I always found it strange to notice his copying my words. And turning around everything. He discarded the things I loved. I love to dance, it made him insecure. So he tried to stop me from dancing. As and example. I have known him for so many years that I wasn’t alert. So many red flags I didn’t want to accept as the truth. And yes definitely soulmates because we talked about our relationships as such. And narcisissm was a topic 🤪, because of my previous relationships and his ex wife. When I broke out of the relationship I was so confused to discover that I was really bait for a fullblown narcisisst. Not anymore: I have worked hard, but I love myself and people have to treat me with respect or they should stay away! Thank you for your video!! ❤️
I remember how my ex adopted/mirrored my rich use of slang and off-dictionary language. It was so obvious and distinct that it creeped me out, but I just ignored it. It was one of the earliest red flags that I can recall consciously acknowledging, and ignoring. Never again.
One trait my narcissist took with her also. She never used to swear now she is quite fowl to anyone that crosses her. She also took my family demons with her when she left.
It feels like a death occurred but in reality who I thought he was never existed. Definitely feeling a deep sense of mourning. I know God has a plan and it will get better. Thank you for another great video.💕
Just on time for me, ten years together, the good times were very good. I went back for three more years of absolute abuse with minimal good only to be discarded badly. I feel used and abused. She definitely does not want me back. Fired a few parting shots at my heart. I am having difficulty getting over it. I will be watching closely her new life. Already a month or two and she says life is not much different for her. I dont miss the stress and dramas. I am a bit lost, a big hole left to fill. But what with??? Am not sure i even want to have another relationship. Am 57. Thanks Michelle your messages are great.
I remember, after over 30 years that feeling "OMG, OMG, God has heard me at last and He has sent me His answer!"Everything seemed in place for the first time, no sucking holes, no doubts. Fortunately , I saw reason after over 2 years and got rid of him. However, the illusion was perfect.
My boarder line/narc, managed to get all my money and all my possessions. I’m not a stupid person. This is something one would think only happens to stupid people. I’m 55 and I have nothing. I’m just physically sick.
You are not stupid. You were a kind and loving human being and this was used against you by a soulless entity whose prime motivation from the very beginning was to take everything from you & to destroy your sanity. It wasn't your fault. It happens to the best of us. 😉👌 And the greatest thing to do after this horrendous God damn awful betrayal is to get up, get out there and work your ass off, die trying if you have to just to prove to that monster and to yourself that HE DID NOT WIN, HE DID NOT BEAT YOU and actually YOU CAN recover and take back all the things he stole from you. " All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that, do not believe that you are weak; do not believe that you are half-crazy lunatics, as most of us do nowadays. You can do anything and everything. Without even the guidance of anyone. Stand up and express the divinity within you." - Swami Vivekananda - - Goodluck and I wish for your emotional & financial recovery. You can and you will. Fight! 👊👍😊 🕉️
What is so funny/pathetic/shocking to me now (18 months OUT of 2 year relationship) is how quickly it stopped!! Seriously, it was about two months and he was done love bombing.
This is so weird but I was in a relationship with someone like this and the one strange thing I NOTICED were that his vulnerability stories seemed very ‘rehearsed’ like he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear. He would try to lie make himself appear like we were a soul connection. But He couldn’t effectively lie to me so I would just be sitting there...watching him lie to himself thinking like “what a fool, what a dopey idiot”. I asked about his last relationship and his relationship with his dad, he immediately went into what Most people would call a “monologue” about his 5 year relationship and his dad dying and it felt like he was moreso just trying to endear and emotionally bond me to him rather than reflect on his past from a healed and honest place. I learned toxic masculine energy often underhandedly takes advantage of the feminine’s natural capacity for compassion and use it for their own gain. I know it wasn’t what he was going for, but he just appeared soo..wounded and fake to me. It wasn’t attractive. I had too many previous experiences before that to allow my empathy be manipulated by someone being inauthentic. I can discern it.
I I'm very envious of you. I am so happy for you that you can do that. I hope be able to do that. I think that basically the best thing for me since I have failed Discerning this it's never ever ever let anyone talk to me again. I'm going to have to be alone. I fell for it every time.
@@chellybabyme don’t speak about yourself like that, you can absolutely do it too. Alone time is a such BLESSING, you will see you are stronger than YOU KNOW, believe that! Sending protection to you.
@@QueXLcior you are truly a strong person. Thank you. I let somebody in after I was celibate for 15 years. I was raising my girls. I let him talk me into having coffee after about a year of him asking me and about four years of knowing him on the periphery. Everything about him seemed nice. I I went in slowly. Slower than slow. But he was a narcissist too. They're all different slightly different types and the endgame always winds up the same as described by Michelle. Thank you for sending me protection because I really need it. I really don't think there's anybody in the world worth talking to. Not when It ends up like this or worse. Thank you for you reply💙
@@chellybabyme When you really work on your own codependency issues and educate yourself about NPD, then you will no longer have these people around in your life. Check out Celebrate Recovery, an extremely useful tool for healing. It’s a 12-step program, like Alcoholics Anonymous, that has been around for almost thirty years. It is for ALL hurts, habits, and hang-ups and has God as the “higher power.” (I am there for codependency, shame, and narcissistic abuse). Meetings are held weekly across the US and abroad and are free. There is even a year-long “step study” group that you can join if you wish to go deeper to tackle your issues. In Celebrate Recovery, I have found a non-judgmental community where I can safely share my trauma issues and innermost thoughts. It has been fascinating to watch God peel back the “onion layers” of people’s lives, as well as my own, and provide healing and restoration! If you want to find out more, just google Celebrate Recovery to find meeting places near you.
@@chellybabyme you are a beautiful person. See for yourself. Strong mama. It’s okay, forgive yourself, you deserve it and you will win through this if you believe. you are a-ok. 🌸
Yes. the really hard thing now is how to get off that drug. i am an addict in perpetual rehab. the total agony is slowly becoming a dull numbness, which is much better than suicidal....but where did I go? I was a kick-ass person with a very developed sense of humor, but now i rarely smile.
Excellent video! I also think that sometimes someone who is very close to you in your life can get pulled away by other forces. As the Bible says in Ephesians 6:12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” I love how in this video Michele tells us to be true to ourselves and to not rely on this person for our identity. Sometimes people leave and they realize they were led astray. They realize they really miss you and have sinned. Whether it’s a friend, family member or former relationship. And sometimes they come back. At this point, it’s time to have strong boundaries and determine whether or not you can slowly let this person back in. I believe that we are called to forgive others, but not always to let others back close to us in an intimate way if they can hurt us and if it’s not a relationship that is walking with God. Thank you Michele! I know I took the interpretation on a little different tangent here, but this is how I see life too. I love the message Michele teaches here of being strong within oneself and not needing the outside validation from others. I think this advice of being strong within oneself and following God are the greatest protections against Narcissistic abuse! 🙏
It fires 🔥 me up when Narc Fixation/Obsession is Romanticized 😡 TY for shining your light 💡 and exposing this misperceived MYTH 👍 Happily Ever After is make believe, a Tall Tale.
Everytime I watch one of Micheles videos I take away valuable info. When I first started watching her videos I had no idea narcissism was a mental disorder . Every video is another piece of the puzzle. She is right about how much they change in certain situations. I look at this person and think this is not the same person. She goes from being this vulnerable lost person to a vicious predator.
This is exactly what I experienced. He was exactly what I wanted for 6 months but our relationship has been really hard, and at times a night mare, for the past two years. It’s kind of crazy that that’s how hard my brain fights to keep relationships going. I’ve gone no contact for 6 days but haven’t sent the “we’re through” text yet. Looking forward to getting to that point and moving forward.
Learning about the narc's MO was a huge awakening but it was only until I learned about narcissism through a Biblical perspective that I had my Enlightenment and true healing
Yes, The answer to this is in 2 Timothy 3:1-5. Thank God there's truth to this, man it was a mentally and physically exhausting relationship and it totally ended. It didn't matter that we've known these people for year's. But now I know the phrase "true colors" will eventually how. Praise God we made it out though. The Lord is coming soon, so hang in there. Take care and God bless..
Crazy, this is one of those thing that kept me in the relationship even when it was a hell hole. Thinking he was my soul mate and he was the one. 1 year out of it and hes in a new relationship with someone who think hes her soul mate and hes the one. Crazy
I think someone should start a dating app only for people who suffered narcissistic abuse. We’d all have a lot in common right off the bat. A no narcs allowed dating app!
That would seem rather sufficient, given that narcissists tend to avoid those who know about their true nature and have studied enough about it to spot them and their fakery
Sending ❤ Michele from Nova Scotia. Thank you so much. My Journey became New Years day when my wife disconnected me for the final time and left. Suicidal for 4 months till a random stranger in a chat room( who happens to be a councellor) asked me "Do you know what a Narcissist is?" I had no clue. None. Since then I have learned 10 years ago I met a very vunerable/ Covert narcissist. 5 months later moved in with me. 6 months later married. And 9 years of hell. Then I also learned I am considered a Parentified Codependent with high empathy. 43 years (so far) as being the family scapegoat & enabler to my single, now disabled Malignant Narc Mom and I have 1 brother who is just like Mom. The detachment pain is like nothing I have ever felt. I will be spending the rest of my life trying to finally be able to find my own personal happiness. Thank you Michele. I find you very good, and extremely smart and enjoyable to watch. Sending some East Coast smiles your way, Frank😊🙂😊
My ex narcissist can't let our relationship go. She still insists that I love her because I have been helpful for our kids. Seeing those red flags from her knowing what I know know drives me further away.
You just summed it all up for me. Its extremely painful 💔😢. It took everything in me not to kill him because, I felt like how do you get to treat people that way, and get away with it. However I didn't kill him,and I'm healing slowly but surely.
I was absolutely positive she was my soul mate, we went to kindergarten together all the way through elementary school. I was home schooled after and didn’t see any of my elementary school friends but I would keep crossing paths with her. The first time we ever had a conversation with each other we were 15 and I talked to her from my friends home phone because she was very popular in school and she gave out her number to everyone, he was trying to get with her but we ended up talking for a long time. I didn’t see or hear from her again then 2 years later we happened to be in a mandatory driving class held by my state we set across from each other. The signs go on. She love bombed the crap out of me when we were 19 after meeting by chance. I was very cautious of her because I knew she was notorious for only dating a guy for a couple of weeks and she’d moved on, she literally dumped her current boyfriend to pursue me. I was playing very hard to get , this was because I was romantically interested in someone else who was friend zoning the crap out of me. Anyways obviously after I gave in to her and became her legitimate partner after her long sometimes disturbing pursuit of me. She became a completely different person but we know the story I stayed because I craved the woman that I knew before I belonged to her. Then we had our daughter and that’s history. However the only thing she had that was certain to keep me around was I trusted her not to cheat on me. That was my iceberg belief and my hardcore scare of being cheated on by my prior girlfriend. After 14 years she finally got caught up cheating and this was a year after she had asked my permission to sleep around. Looking back I’m pretty sure she probably cheated on me regularly, I was very trusting. I believed so much this woman was my soul mate the divorce process had me extremely confused. I’m so much better now and even though hardly anyone will read such a long comment it feels good to share parts of my trauma. I know now that I was indeed meant to be with this woman. I have an amazing daughter and I love CHRIST with all of my heart and soul. I’m so grateful that I am the man I am. My X held me back on multiple occasions from becoming a very wealthy and powerful man. Obviously she was so afraid of me becoming something she could loose control of. But looking back if I had accumulated the wealth and status that she kept me from achieving I’m positive I would not know CHRIST as I do today. So she wasn’t my soul mate as I thought but definitely my destiny. I’m 3 years single now and officially divorced one year. I have not been with another woman since I was first with my X wife 17 years ago My daughter comes and goes as she pleases between our homes. I was able to achieve this by giving my X all of our savings and the house and letting her file our daughter on her taxes every year. I gave her everything just to ensure less pain for my daughter. Not to mention the fact that I basically raised my daughter alone while her mother checked out emotionally and mentally for the first 4 years, as though meeting me and having my child ruined her what would be otherwise perfect life. You all know the stories, I’m basically just saying that she wasn’t my soul mate after all but I was definitely meant to be with her. I love the person I am now and I feel like I can do anything and get through anything with CHRIST. However It’s 2020 now and I’m very old school, so I don’t do the dating apps and things. I’m pretty confident I’m going to be alone from now on. So maybe she was my one and only and I was her one of one hundred 🤷🏻♂️ lol. I’m grateful for this new community I’ve found, I didn’t start looking into this stuff until it started really taking a tow on my daughter, I’ve been trying to find out as much as I can to help her. But I’ve been really benefiting from it so much myself, thanks
They have emotional empathy...it's being able to read emotions to better manipulate you. Not to cater to you or love you but to manipulate. I used to do the mirroring in earlier relationships...morphing into the guys I was with because I wanted to be loved. This backfired because they were dating me for ME....when I morphed my likes, etc to them, they lost interest. Who wants to date themselves?? But I see how Narcs do this to hook you in a bad way. I didn't know who I was growing up. I was never taught HOW to find myself or see myself clearly....
So glad to know now They can't fool me anymore Thank you Michele You have really helped me to see through their ignorance of what it could be without a stupid deceitful game
I remember the narcissistic subscriber I had had a channel where he talked about having panic disorder/anxiety/panic attacks and having anxiety myself I felt I could relate to that so I commented a lot on their videos and was actually thrilled when they subscribed to my channel several months later, but that feeling of being thrilled soon led to sadness and confusion when they left a comment on my video that I at first thought was a joke, but when I stopped by their anxiety channel that day and paid my respects, they got angry and I realized that they weren't the nice guy they were portraying themselves to be online. I also remember going out for coffee with a guy and they asked me to a movie at the end of the evening and seemed excited when I said yes to their invite, but then once they realized I had personal values, they had their friend bully me and I realized that they weren't the nice guy that everyone thinks they are. Maybe he was mirroring me the first time I hung out with him one on one for coffee. It's scary to think of a guy mirroring me and that I never got a true sense of who he was. I was heartbroken over things not working out, but I am healing slowly over time.
Excellent video! I love how skillfully you unpacked how Narcs mirror you in the beginning, both who you are and what you want, and you think it's because they're normal and sincere; but then they do the flip to the Sweet/Mean cycle. They bank on the goal that you're going to ignore all future abusive behavior because you believe all that great behavior in the beginning is the real person when it so isn't.
YOU SAID IT SISTER! I never even used a term like this, and neither did he, but it sure got engrained in my mind. how DID i fall for THAT?? omg. lol, now, finally!
I got like an Emotional Whiplash - injury from my narc-ex changing his behaviour from: You are ALWAYS the BEST and I would never change you! - to: Why aren´t you wearing short skirt?, long nails? red lipstick- like other women?, cleaning more at MY home when you´re visiting me...etc. He tried to breake me down, because he new i didn´t get enough attention in a childhood by my narc. parents. Now I never share my voulnerabilities in the beginning of relationship anymore! I protact myself from the emotional abuse
@@kimsmith819 better late than never. 💜 now, all you have to do is rebuild yourself. You are great for changeing your life, never regret takeing your life in your own hands.
Hello Michele , as I mentioned one time before see people often hide who they are and they put on that phony pretence soo that you connot see who is behind the mask and that's why we have to keep our guard up and donot go diving in so to speak and so you can avoid this from even happening and thank you very much you do a fantastic job and stay safe you and the family.😊😊😊
I have a cautionary tale as a response. Even if you go in slowly, they have been waiting to catch you for a long time and it makes their determination stronger. I knew mine for several years and then after about one year of him asking me out over and over again for coffee I decided to go get coffee. And everything proceeded extremely slowly. I was not in a position to require a boyfriend, because I have already had my children and don't need somebody to walk through that aspect of life with me so I thought that I was safe and immune. I thought that I had a rational approach after being celibate while raising my daughters for 15 years, then when they went to school I was alone. And I thought it wouldn't hurt to let this nice guy take me for coffee. From the time I met him till the time he started asking me for coffee it seems as though his wife had left him suddenly, she had just "gone crazy". I had known him around town on the periphery but he never asked me out until after his wife had left him sounds appropriate, right? I was vulnerable because I missed my daughters. But I thought I had my head on straight. I "didn't need no damn boyfriend" if you know what I mean. I developed feelings. He was not who he said he was. It took me too long to find out. Moral of the story, never get involved with anybody if you're ever going to have a vulnerable moment. Second moral of the story: we all have vulnerable moments so we're never going to be safe. I truly thought I was smart about all this. I'll be honest, I did not know what the word narcissist was until I met him so at least I have to be grateful that I have a lesson to teach my daughters.
@@chellybabyme Hello Chellybabyme I know exactly where you are coming from with this , however too you are soo right on about being vulnerable people they see you coming and they take advantage of a person being in that position and if we are not careful we will fall for all of the stuff that they have in them to trap you and we all have feelings and those feelings have to be cared for and it's wrong for somebody to advantage of you being vulnerable then here comes the hurt and pain and that's one reason that I have been alone for years , however I'm glad that you saw that fool for what he was and be very careful from now on and you and your family stay very safe.😊😊😊.
You are the most beautiful person I watch on youtube, I hope you are not mirroring me. Just kidding Michele, you helped me in so many way to understand myself and how to understand others, thankyou.
I would only make the case that many (vulnerable) narcs do all of this unknowingly. My ex started acting totally different after she started a new relationship. She talked different and even smiled different (not to mention she treated me like garbage once she no longer needed my support). But I don't think she's conscious of it herself. I only know that the changes in her mirror the new person.
They changed my world👍 it will never be the same me again. Don't know it's for good or bad. But once I leave their matrix, I bcome another person who is single.
If this person was your soulmate they would not purposely manipulate, and wear a false mask to ensnare you. A true soulmate builds you UP. Don't be FOOLED
There's lots of stuff that's stuck with me, where I still think "what the heck was that about?" and then I see videos like this one and it's like 💡 I noticed this behaviour often and found it quite off putting but for some reason I ignored it in my ex. At first he was soft, well spoken, funny, educated, supportive of everything, be it poc, religions, lgbtq+, name it he didn't mind it or had kind words for it and then it slowly went downhill. He'd even gradually use those things to start fights and tbh the sudden and quit extreme antisemitism was the reason I ran. For me, he was supposed to be the safe haven where I'd get a break from my racist, sexist, homophobic etc family and by the end he was just like them. I felt like a rabbit that runs in circles in the middle of the highway because there was no where to escape to.
My ex narc sent me pics from a very in-depth horoscope book to "prove" how we supposedly are compatibile as partners, but also as natural sworn enemies. I guess it was an attempt at showing how we are meant to have these insane highs & lows and that I'm just being silly for not wanting to jump right back in to that insanity. A hilarious and feeble attempt yes, but my point is, they paint that illusion in more than one way to try and make it to our reality!
Another great video. I'd just like to share a story pertaining mirroring I was a musician for many years as a drummer and r and b vocalist and the female narcissist that I spent 4 years with would tell me that all the artists who inspired me were artists that she listened to and during the love bombing phase I found that to be exhilarating And that we had so much in common and there were other things as well Of course after I was recently discarded I know that it was all complete bullshit and I seriously doubt that this snake in the grass continues to engage in these things any longer
As hard as this is to do, examining the relationship for what it IS, not what it was, is what hurts. None of it was true and I wonder how can someone do that to another? How can someone live their life so empty? As much as I hurt inside I do know one thing. Not talking to that lying, cheating, skank of a soul is torturing her. I will never be your drug again, addict.
On a side note, it feels like someone is standing on my heart every single day. I have such pain in my chest area that's not from anything health related. It's simply a broken aspect of my soul and it hurts both physically and emotionally.
Thanks Michelle. Could you please do a video on the confusion they leave us with. My narc left me then i went no contact and he sent me emails declaring his love for me..but somehow i just know theyre not genuine. He just suffered a narcissistic injury but i always wonder if i did the right thing to leave and i can't seem to resolve the confusion somehow even 2 years later
GODDESS BLESS YOU MICHELLE 3:42 in and you have unraveled and made To-Tal SENSE of what he did. thank you thank you thank you. you have healed me for free And educated Me for my future. i love You🌺 and will subscribe!❤ *edit -oh i guess i already was subscribed! (well Proudly so!)
Ya. She posted we were like soulmate in social media and everything was like twin flames but she is competing silently with me. She act innocent when she did me wrong and blame it to something else. I just get to know she deleted my contact last month and I'm so glad the trash finally took herself out from my life.😎
That interesting video. Thank you. Here comes on my mind idea that all that soulmate thing closely related to LOYALTY idea. Do see some LOYALTY hook, that narcissist can behave anyhow but you have to be anyway loyal to the narcissists just because LOYALTY is a main virtue and you get severely punished for being un-loyal to narcissist. Do see that on example of my narcissistic family - as far as know grandmother form fathers side was narcissistic and abusive and her husband(grandfather of mine) was feed up with that and had an affair, and after that things become only worse, she baited him to the rest of his life. He betrayed HER, brake LOYALTY, was un-LOYAL! That terrible sin! She now has a license to escalate abuse play victim - she provoke it first than use reaction on her abuse as excuse of abuse escalation. So father grew up in such family abused then get married on my future mother, here similar scenario replicated - mother had very traumatic background was orphan and later in life went in some gynocentric new age cult - choose it, and dedicate all her time to that, and based on that cult ideas she deprive father form intimacy for years, so no sex at all, she just sit at home busy with her woo woo cult stuff as I understood she was also lousy hose work, do not even bother to cook much sitting at home, so as understand father was deprived from emotional intimacy, from physical intimacy, from care - so after long time he had an affair to meet his needs - so again seems same story like with grandmother she provoke him with prolonged abuse to have affair and use that as abuse escalation excuse. So mother crate huge drama that he betrayed her “love” they was soul mates and he just should to support her cult, and obey her commands and he just destroyed everything, he is un-loyal, brake holy LOYALTY, do not support her cult, she just slander, and trash talk him, and bait, very ugly divorce, smear campaign, she prohibit him to step foot in to the house, to see children, turn people and children against father, my 6 years older golden child brother cut all contacts with father, I was baited and punished all the time for maintaining contact with father. So to rest of time mother only slander, and trash talk father that he is possessed by forces of evil, some sort of black magic wizard and other woo woo hence it’s okay to bash him, talk only about his un-loyalty, how he betray her “love”, brake loyalty, that is worst sin and we his sons should never be like him - that moment that she for years withhold of intimacy and emotional connection and care just flat out exploiting fathers resources doing nothing in return not caring about husbands needs and wants - that by her world view is totally fine and “true love”, but when father fed up with abuse divorcing her and braking LOYALTY that most horrible SIN ever deserving most cruel and severe punishment and baiting and humiliations for many years - that right and just thing to do she as enlightened in so educated in such a cult of love and peace dogmas person knows that for sure . And such a model of relationships stuck in my head. And have that deep fear of braking loyalty to the narcissist after seeing such a cruel punishments in front of my eyes year after year. That fear stile lives in me. And find myself in similar situations. I do not know how to describe that. That imperative to maintain loyalty to the abusive manipulative, selfish person, having strong narcissistic traits just working harder on improving relationships - never quitting - quitting is un-loyalty and sign of weakness, replication of the “sin” of father, for that most cruel punishments imaginable. Something like that in short.
My narc used to meet me always without makeup al natural and in regular clothes. For the new suply now she doesn't leave the house without morfing into a diva, makeup, hairdo and all. The new mask 😁
When people say that racism is a problem in policing, I say, what about narcissism? It’s the policies that keep bad police on the force. We can control the racism and narcissism with accountability. How do we hold them accountable, end police unions, qualified immunity, and internal investigations. Gos bless
@@jorgejorge66 I despise both, silly. Are you a narcissist? I’m Mexican and have never claimed anyone had white privilege over me. What’s your issue? Did I somehow push a button? Not my intent if so.
@@blrenx I just found this channel actually. I like it. I know I was off topic but I have nothing else to offer but solutions to many issues of today. I don’t mean to disrespect anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings.
Dude, just checked out your channel, you are the real deal. My bad, I thought you were a troll. It is people like you that are holding big brother accountable.
Oh yes, im definitely his soulmate. I thought for about 10 years that i was, but during the last 8 years i realized that I really wasn't. He wanted a maid and a sex slave and thats all. When we 1st met, he put me on a pedestal. Many years later he pulled the pedestal out from underneath me and I fell on my face. He never helped me get back up. I think I will always love him, but im not IN LOVE with him anymore. He caused me to much damage over the years
After all the future faking, promises, and overtures of my being his “soulmate” and the “apex of all women”, he went out and screwed around without a condom and endangered my heath!
my frnd started relationship when she was 20 they both got physical then they got seprated then tgey met ahain that men push nd pull they meet got physical again then he stopped getting physical with her its 14 year now sometimes he block her sometimes not now my frnd says its his twin flame she's getting messages from divine ..she says its she who misunderstood him he never wanted relationship its she pushing him noe he blocked her from one year she says he will give her commitment is it possible whenever i try to make her understand he can n narcissist she says not eveyone is like you eho experienced such relationships tell me is this possible sometimes i feel he is covert narcissist becoz he never abused her but clearky yold her but still dont leave comol kindly advise what the hell is happening
⚠️FYI - A Narcissist are usually chosen by God for a high calling, but destroyed by the Devil with traumas and rejection, childhood abuses to make them loose their true identity and never fulfill their Destiny! They're Broken ppl...sadly (💯I overcame by the blood of the Lamd the word of my testimony💯 )🙌 Rescued by Jesus and changed into a new creation by the Holy Spirit! Hallelujah
I think some ppl will go too far and become paranoid. I prefer to tell someone whatever, then not care what they do with the info. Unemotional to them and their monkeys 🐒
I guess it´s easy to fall for the bullshit narcissists say to you if you forget what they are and that they fake what ever they want, even to be a soulmate. Narcissists use the physical base to let you think that there are special things between each other. When you know what a real emotional connection is like you would not fall for shit that is only manipulation. They want you to see something that means nothing special without respect.
We all eat lies when our hearts are hungry.
Exactly
It´s still hard to get over fact that everything about her was fake, It´s been 2 years since the breakup. I don´t miss her, but very scary how fake people are.
Mark C_ read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi it will explain a lot.
Yeah I know what you mean. I was so genuine and he was so fake. He was a covert narcissist. Maybe she was too in your case ? They tend to be fake and play mind games. Know your worth and move on as I did. Peace and light ❤
I like that you jump right into the topic without unnecessary long introductions and noisy shows. I hope you keep your style of video s like this. Simple and natural. I love it. Thanks.
Mourn the illusion, NOT the person! Yessss!
"Letting go of the idea, the thought of who they were" > yep that's IT! Mourn the illusion, NOT the person. This is the road OUT of denial and beginning to heal. A manipulative and toxic person was never your "soul mate", no matter how well he or she might have faked it. Often we feel sad at the emptiness after a break up, which is human nature. We may miss being in a relationship, but not THAT one.
Mourn the illusion, NOT the person! Yessss!
Mourn the Illusion, NOT the person. You're not mourning the person, you're mourning the illusion. That's the best wording I've seen so far. I'm going to use it! Thanks :)
Exactly. We fell in deep trance with an idea they mimicked, never a real, honest person.
Mourn the illusion...
what a powerful and precise statement
Thanks and thanks and thanks
Smiles 😊😊😊
Good 1. Mourn the illusion not the person.
Such a phenomenal concept. The narcissist needs you to need them, thus exploiting your weaknesses and dangling what you need in order for you to become 1000% dependent. They want control and your soul. My friends, leave and stay gone. Please.
you are a great writer!
She's My Soul Weight ⚓🔗🔒💜🔼💣
These creatures feed you a kind of sweet poison in such a way that when they cut the love supply (one of the tactics), the victim begs them and would literally do anything to feel that fake love bombing phase again. When they try to discard you, you get burst into tears and beg these pigs. That feeds their ego. Even at very young age, these creatures are already master of manipulation.
so good and you are such a good writer!
I've been so confused and frustrated with myself. It was such a short and painful thing. She heard all of my vulnerabilities and in the discard used each and every one against me. I still kept thinking about the good bit, the love bomb, but am scared of her which keeps me free from her.
This explains my ex wife. I have never known a person change so much from the person I married compared to the person I walked away from.
One lesson I learned was observe how this person treats others. Their family friends and strangers especially service staff. Are these people treated as utility tools? Do their friend come and go? Do they disrespect people who do not benefit them? Only call family when they want something? Because in time you will also be treated like a disposable object to.
Thanx. You just opened my eyes to a piece i've been missing.
The lower your self esteem, the less work the toxic person has to put in.
that was good to hear. I always found it strange to notice his copying my words. And turning around everything. He discarded the things I loved. I love to dance, it made him insecure. So he tried to stop me from dancing. As and example. I have known him for so many years that I wasn’t alert. So many red flags I didn’t want to accept as the truth. And yes definitely soulmates because we talked about our relationships as such. And narcisissm was a topic 🤪, because of my previous relationships and his ex wife. When I broke out of the relationship I was so confused to discover that I was really bait for a fullblown narcisisst. Not anymore: I have worked hard, but I love myself and people have to treat me with respect or they should stay away! Thank you for your video!! ❤️
I remember how my ex adopted/mirrored my rich use of slang and off-dictionary language. It was so obvious and distinct that it creeped me out, but I just ignored it. It was one of the earliest red flags that I can recall consciously acknowledging, and ignoring. Never again.
One trait my narcissist took with her also. She never used to swear now she is quite fowl to anyone that crosses her. She also took my family demons with her when she left.
It feels like a death occurred but in reality who I thought he was never existed. Definitely feeling a deep sense of mourning. I know God has a plan and it will get better. Thank you for another great video.💕
Deonna. Beautifully put. 🤗
Mark Twain said something like "you can't miss somebody that was never there"
Thank you Karen. And chellybabyme unfortunately it’s just a fantasy. Happy days to you both💕🌻
Just on time for me, ten years together, the good times were very good. I went back for three more years of absolute abuse with minimal good only to be discarded badly. I feel used and abused. She definitely does not want me back. Fired a few parting shots at my heart. I am having difficulty getting over it.
I will be watching closely her new life. Already a month or two and she says life is not much different for her.
I dont miss the stress and dramas.
I am a bit lost, a big hole left to fill.
But what with??? Am not sure i even want to have another relationship. Am 57.
Thanks Michelle your messages are great.
Michelle.... You are brilliant & beautiful as always! Thank you for helping thousands suffering from these demons...
Out of the half a dozen anti narc videos I watch ,yours over the years has soared to the top of the ranks even over doctors🤸💃💪🙌👍nice moves thanks
Brilliant Michelle, all these words are do true for me. This after a relation of 30 years..
Everything jou explained is totally true!
So sad...😥
I'm so sorry. That is acutely painful. Let those toxins out. You deserve to live.
I remember, after over 30 years that feeling "OMG, OMG, God has heard me at last and He has sent me His answer!"Everything seemed in place for the first time, no sucking holes, no doubts. Fortunately , I saw reason after over 2 years and got rid of him. However, the illusion was perfect.
My boarder line/narc, managed to get all my money and all my possessions. I’m not a stupid person. This is something one would think only happens to stupid people. I’m 55 and I have nothing. I’m just physically sick.
You have your soul. And you have us.
at least youre not being tourtured and unsure, thats alot! you have peace and groundation (i know its lonley)
You are not stupid. You were a kind and loving human being and this was used against you by a soulless entity whose prime motivation from the very beginning was to take everything from you & to destroy your sanity. It wasn't your fault. It happens to the best of us. 😉👌 And the greatest thing to do after this horrendous God damn awful betrayal is to get up, get out there and work your ass off, die trying if you have to just to prove to that monster and to yourself that HE DID NOT WIN, HE DID NOT BEAT YOU and actually YOU CAN recover and take back all the things he stole from you. " All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that, do not believe that you are weak; do not believe that you are half-crazy lunatics, as most of us do nowadays. You can do anything and everything. Without even the guidance of anyone. Stand up and express the divinity within you." - Swami Vivekananda - - Goodluck and I wish for your emotional & financial recovery. You can and you will. Fight! 👊👍😊 🕉️
You are not alone
@@lockministry I’m sorry. 🌹
What is so funny/pathetic/shocking to me now (18 months OUT of 2 year relationship) is how quickly it stopped!! Seriously, it was about two months and he was done love bombing.
@Alexandra Arva I am so sorry to hear that, it is SO painful!
This is so weird but I was in a relationship with someone like this and the one strange thing I NOTICED were that his vulnerability stories seemed very ‘rehearsed’ like he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear. He would try to lie make himself appear like we were a soul connection. But He couldn’t effectively lie to me so I would just be sitting there...watching him lie to himself thinking like “what a fool, what a dopey idiot”. I asked about his last relationship and his relationship with his dad, he immediately went into what Most people would call a “monologue” about his 5 year relationship and his dad dying and it felt like he was moreso just trying to endear and emotionally bond me to him rather than reflect on his past from a healed and honest place. I learned toxic masculine energy often underhandedly takes advantage of the feminine’s natural capacity for compassion and use it for their own gain. I know it wasn’t what he was going for, but he just appeared soo..wounded and fake to me. It wasn’t attractive. I had too many previous experiences before that to allow my empathy be manipulated by someone being inauthentic. I can discern it.
I I'm very envious of you. I am so happy for you that you can do that. I hope be able to do that. I think that basically the best thing for me since I have failed Discerning this it's never ever ever let anyone talk to me again. I'm going to have to be alone. I fell for it every time.
@@chellybabyme don’t speak about yourself like that, you can absolutely do it too. Alone time is a such BLESSING, you will see you are stronger than YOU KNOW, believe that! Sending protection to you.
@@QueXLcior you are truly a strong person. Thank you. I let somebody in after I was celibate for 15 years. I was raising my girls. I let him talk me into having coffee after about a year of him asking me and about four years of knowing him on the periphery. Everything about him seemed nice. I I went in slowly. Slower than slow. But he was a narcissist too. They're all different slightly different types and the endgame always winds up the same as described by Michelle. Thank you for sending me protection because I really need it. I really don't think there's anybody in the world worth talking to. Not when It ends up like this or worse. Thank you for you reply💙
@@chellybabyme When you really work on your own codependency issues and educate yourself about NPD, then you will no longer have these people around in your life. Check out Celebrate Recovery, an extremely useful tool for healing. It’s a 12-step program, like Alcoholics Anonymous, that has been around for almost thirty years. It is for ALL hurts, habits, and hang-ups and has God as the “higher power.” (I am there for
codependency, shame, and narcissistic abuse). Meetings are held weekly across the US and abroad and are free. There is even a year-long “step study” group that you can join if you wish to go deeper to tackle your issues. In Celebrate Recovery, I have found a non-judgmental community where I can safely share my trauma issues and innermost thoughts. It has been fascinating to watch God peel back the “onion layers” of people’s lives, as well as my own, and provide healing and restoration! If you want to find out more, just google Celebrate Recovery to find meeting places near you.
@@chellybabyme you are a beautiful person. See for yourself. Strong mama. It’s okay, forgive yourself, you deserve it and you will win through this if you believe. you are a-ok. 🌸
Yes, the fake man made my real feelings happen. I wasted my time. I'm mourning.
. I don't know who that is. I'm speaking about somebody else
thats funny. i felt like adding my exs name for the same question then i saw she added her ex 🤣 may we all heal in peace💜💜💜
Yes. the really hard thing now is how to get off that drug. i am an addict in perpetual rehab. the total agony is slowly becoming a dull numbness, which is much better than suicidal....but where did I go? I was a kick-ass person with a very developed sense of humor, but now i rarely smile.
@@jennifs6868 exactly. They take away your will to be happy when you find out one after the other takes it away
Excellent video! I also think that sometimes someone who is very close to you in your life can get pulled away by other forces. As the Bible says in Ephesians 6:12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” I love how in this video Michele tells us to be true to ourselves and to not rely on this person for our identity. Sometimes people leave and they realize they were led astray. They realize they really miss you and have sinned. Whether it’s a friend, family member or former relationship. And sometimes they come back. At this point, it’s time to have strong boundaries and determine whether or not you can slowly let this person back in. I believe that we are called to forgive others, but not always to let others back close to us in an intimate way if they can hurt us and if it’s not a relationship that is walking with God. Thank you Michele! I know I took the interpretation on a little different tangent here, but this is how I see life too. I love the message Michele teaches here of being strong within oneself and not needing the outside validation from others. I think this advice of being strong within oneself and following God are the greatest protections against Narcissistic abuse! 🙏
It fires 🔥 me up when Narc Fixation/Obsession is Romanticized 😡
TY for shining your light 💡
and exposing this misperceived
MYTH 👍 Happily Ever After is make believe, a Tall Tale.
Everytime I watch one of Micheles videos I take away valuable info. When I first started watching her videos I had no idea narcissism was a mental disorder . Every video is another piece of the puzzle. She is right about how much they change in certain situations. I look at this person and think this is not the same person. She goes from being this vulnerable lost person to a vicious predator.
Michelle, thank you, for the healing gifts. I know its empathy. "Oh captain my Captain!" 🙏💪🤓
This is exactly what I experienced. He was exactly what I wanted for 6 months but our relationship has been really hard, and at times a night mare, for the past two years. It’s kind of crazy that that’s how hard my brain fights to keep relationships going. I’ve gone no contact for 6 days but haven’t sent the “we’re through” text yet. Looking forward to getting to that point and moving forward.
Learning about the narc's MO was a huge awakening but it was only until I learned about narcissism through a Biblical perspective that I had my Enlightenment and true healing
What do you mean through a Biblical perspective?
@@musheerahgill9654 would love to know that too
@@musheerahgill9654 You can find this answer in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 in your Bible. God bless you.
Yes, The answer to this is in 2 Timothy 3:1-5. Thank God there's truth to this, man it was a mentally and physically exhausting relationship and it totally ended. It didn't matter that we've known these people for year's. But now I know the phrase "true colors" will eventually how. Praise God we made it out though. The Lord is coming soon, so hang in there. Take care and God bless..
There are many roads to awakening. Life always finds a way.
When a narc is nice, beware the price
Crazy, this is one of those thing that kept me in the relationship even when it was a hell hole. Thinking he was my soul mate and he was the one. 1 year out of it and hes in a new relationship with someone who think hes her soul mate and hes the one. Crazy
I think someone should start a dating app only for people who suffered narcissistic abuse. We’d all have a lot in common right off the bat. A no narcs allowed dating app!
Excellent idea!
That would seem rather sufficient, given that narcissists tend to avoid those who know about their true nature and have studied enough about it to spot them and their fakery
Jen's Basement good point!
OMG you're Right about everything. Gives me chills watching this video. Thanks for the Honest Summary.
“The idea of what you thought they were.”
Sending ❤ Michele from Nova Scotia. Thank you so much. My Journey became New Years day when my wife disconnected me for the final time and left. Suicidal for 4 months till a random stranger in a chat room( who happens to be a councellor) asked me "Do you know what a Narcissist is?" I had no clue. None. Since then I have learned 10 years ago I met a very vunerable/ Covert narcissist. 5 months later moved in with me. 6 months later married. And 9 years of hell. Then I also learned I am considered a Parentified Codependent with high empathy. 43 years (so far) as being the family scapegoat & enabler to my single, now disabled Malignant Narc Mom and I have 1 brother who is just like Mom. The detachment pain is like nothing I have ever felt. I will be spending the rest of my life trying to finally be able to find my own personal happiness. Thank you Michele. I find you very good, and extremely smart and enjoyable to watch. Sending some East Coast smiles your way, Frank😊🙂😊
My ex narcissist can't let our relationship go. She still insists that I love her because I have been helpful for our kids. Seeing those red flags from her knowing what I know know drives me further away.
You just summed it all up for me. Its extremely painful 💔😢. It took everything in me not to kill him because, I felt like how do you get to treat people that way, and get away with it. However I didn't kill him,and I'm healing slowly but surely.
so true... i know it was all manipulation but currently I miss my narc ex so much. I know I shouldn´t
I was absolutely positive she was my soul mate, we went to kindergarten together all the way through elementary school. I was home schooled after and didn’t see any of my elementary school friends but I would keep crossing paths with her. The first time we ever had a conversation with each other we were 15 and I talked to her from my friends home phone because she was very popular in school and she gave out her number to everyone, he was trying to get with her but we ended up talking for a long time. I didn’t see or hear from her again then 2 years later we happened to be in a mandatory driving class held by my state we set across from each other. The signs go on. She love bombed the crap out of me when we were 19 after meeting by chance. I was very cautious of her because I knew she was notorious for only dating a guy for a couple of weeks and she’d moved on, she literally dumped her current boyfriend to pursue me. I was playing very hard to get ,
this was because I was romantically interested in someone else who was friend zoning the crap out of me. Anyways obviously after I gave in to her and became her legitimate partner after her long sometimes disturbing pursuit of me. She became a completely different person but we know the story I stayed because I craved the woman that I knew before I belonged to her. Then we had our daughter and that’s history. However the only thing she had that was certain to keep me around was I trusted her not to cheat on me. That was my iceberg belief and my hardcore scare of being cheated on by my prior girlfriend. After 14 years she finally got caught up cheating and this was a year after she had asked my permission to sleep around. Looking back I’m pretty sure she probably cheated on me regularly, I was very trusting. I believed so much this woman was my soul mate the divorce process had me extremely confused. I’m so much better now and even though hardly anyone will read such a long comment it feels good to share parts of my trauma. I know now that I was indeed meant to be with this woman. I have an amazing daughter and I love CHRIST with all of my heart and soul. I’m so grateful that I am the man I am. My X held me back on multiple occasions from becoming a very wealthy and powerful man. Obviously she was so afraid of me becoming something she could loose control of. But looking back if I had accumulated the wealth and status that she kept me from achieving I’m positive I would not know CHRIST as I do today. So she wasn’t my soul mate as I thought but definitely my destiny. I’m 3 years single now and officially divorced one year. I have not been with another woman since I was first with my X wife 17 years ago My daughter comes and goes as she pleases between our homes. I was able to achieve this by giving my X all of our savings and the house and letting her file our daughter on her taxes every year. I gave her everything just to ensure less pain for my daughter. Not to mention the fact that I basically raised my daughter alone while her mother checked out emotionally and mentally for the first 4 years, as though meeting me and having my child ruined her what would be otherwise perfect life. You all know the stories, I’m basically just saying that she wasn’t my soul mate after all but I was definitely meant to be with her. I love the person I am now and I feel like I can do anything and get through anything with CHRIST. However It’s 2020 now and I’m very old school, so I don’t do the dating apps and things. I’m pretty confident I’m going to be alone from now on. So maybe she was my one and only and I was her one of one hundred 🤷🏻♂️ lol. I’m grateful for this new community I’ve found, I didn’t start looking into this stuff until it started really taking a tow on my daughter, I’ve been trying to find out as much as I can to help her. But I’ve been really benefiting from it so much myself, thanks
Wilson Jay- there are no soul mates. It’s a myth. People come and go in our lives.
Thanx, for sharing. It helps to hear other's experiences with narcissism.
Thank you for sharing this. Its helped me considerably.
They have emotional empathy...it's being able to read emotions to better manipulate you. Not to cater to you or love you but to manipulate.
I used to do the mirroring in earlier relationships...morphing into the guys I was with because I wanted to be loved. This backfired because they were dating me for ME....when I morphed my likes, etc to them, they lost interest. Who wants to date themselves?? But I see how Narcs do this to hook you in a bad way. I didn't know who I was growing up. I was never taught HOW to find myself or see myself clearly....
So glad to know now They can't fool me anymore Thank you Michele You have really helped me to see through their ignorance of what it could be without a stupid deceitful game
I remember the narcissistic subscriber I had had a channel where he talked about having panic disorder/anxiety/panic attacks and having anxiety myself I felt I could relate to that so I commented a lot on their videos and was actually thrilled when they subscribed to my channel several months later, but that feeling of being thrilled soon led to sadness and confusion when they left a comment on my video that I at first thought was a joke, but when I stopped by their anxiety channel that day and paid my respects, they got angry and I realized that they weren't the nice guy they were portraying themselves to be online. I also remember going out for coffee with a guy and they asked me to a movie at the end of the evening and seemed excited when I said yes to their invite, but then once they realized I had personal values, they had their friend bully me and I realized that they weren't the nice guy that everyone thinks they are. Maybe he was mirroring me the first time I hung out with him one on one for coffee. It's scary to think of a guy mirroring me and that I never got a true sense of who he was. I was heartbroken over things not working out, but I am healing slowly over time.
Excellent video! I love how skillfully you unpacked how Narcs mirror you in the beginning, both who you are and what you want, and you think it's because they're normal and sincere; but then they do the flip to the Sweet/Mean cycle. They bank on the goal that you're going to ignore all future abusive behavior because you believe all that great behavior in the beginning is the real person when it so isn't.
YOU SAID IT SISTER! I never even used a term like this, and neither did he, but it sure got engrained in my mind. how DID i fall for THAT?? omg. lol, now, finally!
I got like an Emotional Whiplash - injury from my narc-ex changing his behaviour from: You are ALWAYS the BEST and I would never change you! - to: Why aren´t you wearing short skirt?, long nails? red lipstick- like other women?, cleaning more at MY home when you´re visiting me...etc. He tried to breake me down, because he new i didn´t get enough attention in a childhood by my narc. parents. Now I never share my voulnerabilities in the beginning of relationship anymore! I protact myself from the emotional abuse
I’d love to hear Michelle’s thoughts on Runaway Bride
I wish i would of ran 18 years ago instead of 3 days ago
@@kimsmith819 better late than never. 💜 now, all you have to do is rebuild yourself. You are great for changeing your life, never regret takeing your life in your own hands.
Runaway Bride, is it a movie or a book?
@@mushroommagic1697 movie with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere
@@ormorphe thank you!
This is on point! Thank you!
Lots of truth in this video, thanks Michele.
Hello Michele , as I mentioned one time before see people often hide who they are and they put on that phony pretence soo that you connot see who is behind the mask and that's why we have to keep our guard up and donot go diving in so to speak and so you can avoid this from even happening and thank you very much you do a fantastic job and stay safe you and the family.😊😊😊
I have a cautionary tale as a response. Even if you go in slowly, they have been waiting to catch you for a long time and it makes their determination stronger. I knew mine for several years and then after about one year of him asking me out over and over again for coffee I decided to go get coffee. And everything proceeded extremely slowly. I was not in a position to require a boyfriend, because I have already had my children and don't need somebody to walk through that aspect of life with me so I thought that I was safe and immune. I thought that I had a rational approach after being celibate while raising my daughters for 15 years, then when they went to school I was alone. And I thought it wouldn't hurt to let this nice guy take me for coffee. From the time I met him till the time he started asking me for coffee it seems as though his wife had left him suddenly, she had just "gone crazy". I had known him around town on the periphery but he never asked me out until after his wife had left him sounds appropriate, right? I was vulnerable because I missed my daughters. But I thought I had my head on straight. I "didn't need no damn boyfriend" if you know what I mean. I developed feelings. He was not who he said he was. It took me too long to find out. Moral of the story, never get involved with anybody if you're ever going to have a vulnerable moment. Second moral of the story: we all have vulnerable moments so we're never going to be safe. I truly thought I was smart about all this. I'll be honest, I did not know what the word narcissist was until I met him so at least I have to be grateful that I have a lesson to teach my daughters.
@@chellybabyme Hello Chellybabyme I know exactly where you are coming from with this , however too you are soo right on about being vulnerable people they see you coming and they take advantage of a person being in that position and if we are not careful we will fall for all of the stuff that they have in them to trap you and we all have feelings and those feelings have to be cared for and it's wrong for somebody to advantage of you being vulnerable then here comes the hurt and pain and that's one reason that I have been alone for years , however I'm glad that you saw that fool for what he was and be very careful from now on and you and your family stay very safe.😊😊😊.
@@marcellamcduffie8218 your support means so much to me. Thank you. I just want to stay safe. That's the new goal.
@@chellybabyme chellybabyme now that's the spirit !!! You and me both and that sooo spot on yes stay real safe and from those type of idiots .😊😊😊.
Your explanation on this made everything so clear
You are the most beautiful person I watch on youtube, I hope you are not mirroring me. Just kidding Michele, you helped me in so many way to understand myself and how to understand others, thankyou.
I've just been told; 'remember I am always here for you' (Huhh?)
I would only make the case that many (vulnerable) narcs do all of this unknowingly. My ex started acting totally different after she started a new relationship. She talked different and even smiled different (not to mention she treated me like garbage once she no longer needed my support). But I don't think she's conscious of it herself. I only know that the changes in her mirror the new person.
They changed my world👍 it will never be the same me again. Don't know it's for good or bad. But once I leave their matrix, I bcome another person who is single.
If this person was your soulmate they would not purposely manipulate, and wear a false mask to ensnare you. A true soulmate builds you UP. Don't be FOOLED
❤️ thank you and lots of love
Really awesome video Michelle, so true and makes sense.
He mirrored me, now doing the same with the new supply.
I am learning to love myself again 💕
That is the best explaination i heard.
True, what a serious fraud. Hard to believe some one so sweet can do this. Really tragic
Thank you so much,your words were so true and helpful
Excellent explanation. Thank you for making these useful videos.
Thank you for your wisdom Lord GIbson
There's lots of stuff that's stuck with me, where I still think "what the heck was that about?" and then I see videos like this one and it's like 💡
I noticed this behaviour often and found it quite off putting but for some reason I ignored it in my ex. At first he was soft, well spoken, funny, educated, supportive of everything, be it poc, religions, lgbtq+, name it he didn't mind it or had kind words for it and then it slowly went downhill. He'd even gradually use those things to start fights and tbh the sudden and quit extreme antisemitism was the reason I ran. For me, he was supposed to be the safe haven where I'd get a break from my racist, sexist, homophobic etc family and by the end he was just like them. I felt like a rabbit that runs in circles in the middle of the highway because there was no where to escape to.
Very good video! 👍👍
My ex narc sent me pics from a very in-depth horoscope book to "prove" how we supposedly are compatibile as partners, but also as natural sworn enemies. I guess it was an attempt at showing how we are meant to have these insane highs & lows and that I'm just being silly for not wanting to jump right back in to that insanity. A hilarious and feeble attempt yes, but my point is, they paint that illusion in more than one way to try and make it to our reality!
thank you. i "Was" struggling. you have trully helped me💜
and ps i love your brows
Another great video. I'd just like to share a story pertaining mirroring
I was a musician for many years as a drummer and r and b vocalist and the female narcissist that I spent 4 years with would tell me that all the artists who inspired me were artists that she listened to and during the love bombing phase I found that to be exhilarating
And that we had so much in common and there were other things as well
Of course after I was recently discarded I know that it was all complete bullshit and I seriously doubt that this snake in the grass continues to engage in these things any longer
So Very True!
As hard as this is to do, examining the relationship for what it IS, not what it was, is what hurts. None of it was true and I wonder how can someone do that to another? How can someone live their life so empty? As much as I hurt inside I do know one thing. Not talking to that lying, cheating, skank of a soul is torturing her. I will never be your drug again, addict.
On a side note, it feels like someone is standing on my heart every single day. I have such pain in my chest area that's not from anything health related. It's simply a broken aspect of my soul and it hurts both physically and emotionally.
How do I demystify MY narc. She's my only child. The loss is so deep, and so painful, because it is added to the worst pain there is, losing a child.
Thanks Michelle. Could you please do a video on the confusion they leave us with. My narc left me then i went no contact and he sent me emails declaring his love for me..but somehow i just know theyre not genuine. He just suffered a narcissistic injury but i always wonder if i did the right thing to leave and i can't seem to resolve the confusion somehow even 2 years later
Thank you
GODDESS BLESS YOU MICHELLE 3:42 in and you have unraveled and made To-Tal SENSE of what he did. thank you thank you thank you. you have healed me for free And educated Me for my future. i love You🌺 and will subscribe!❤
*edit -oh i guess i already was subscribed! (well Proudly so!)
Spot on!
Ya. She posted we were like soulmate in social media and everything was like twin flames but she is competing silently with me. She act innocent when she did me wrong and blame it to something else. I just get to know she deleted my contact last month and I'm so glad the trash finally took herself out from my life.😎
That interesting video. Thank you.
Here comes on my mind idea that all that soulmate thing closely related to LOYALTY idea. Do see some LOYALTY hook, that narcissist can behave anyhow but you have to be anyway loyal to the narcissists just because LOYALTY is a main virtue and you get severely punished for being un-loyal to narcissist. Do see that on example of my narcissistic family - as far as know grandmother form fathers side was narcissistic and abusive and her husband(grandfather of mine) was feed up with that and had an affair, and after that things become only worse, she baited him to the rest of his life. He betrayed HER, brake LOYALTY, was un-LOYAL! That terrible sin! She now has a license to escalate abuse play victim - she provoke it first than use reaction on her abuse as excuse of abuse escalation. So father grew up in such family abused then get married on my future mother, here similar scenario replicated - mother had very traumatic background was orphan and later in life went in some gynocentric new age cult - choose it, and dedicate all her time to that, and based on that cult ideas she deprive father form intimacy for years, so no sex at all, she just sit at home busy with her woo woo cult stuff as I understood she was also lousy hose work, do not even bother to cook much sitting at home, so as understand father was deprived from emotional intimacy, from physical intimacy, from care - so after long time he had an affair to meet his needs - so again seems same story like with grandmother she provoke him with prolonged abuse to have affair and use that as abuse escalation excuse. So mother crate huge drama that he betrayed her “love” they was soul mates and he just should to support her cult, and obey her commands and he just destroyed everything, he is un-loyal, brake holy LOYALTY, do not support her cult, she just slander, and trash talk him, and bait, very ugly divorce, smear campaign, she prohibit him to step foot in to the house, to see children, turn people and children against father, my 6 years older golden child brother cut all contacts with father, I was baited and punished all the time for maintaining contact with father. So to rest of time mother only slander, and trash talk father that he is possessed by forces of evil, some sort of black magic wizard and other woo woo hence it’s okay to bash him, talk only about his un-loyalty, how he betray her “love”, brake loyalty, that is worst sin and we his sons should never be like him - that moment that she for years withhold of intimacy and emotional connection and care just flat out exploiting fathers resources doing nothing in return not caring about husbands needs and wants - that by her world view is totally fine and “true love”, but when father fed up with abuse divorcing her and braking LOYALTY that most horrible SIN ever deserving most cruel and severe punishment and baiting and humiliations for many years - that right and just thing to do she as enlightened in so educated in such a cult of love and peace dogmas person knows that for sure .
And such a model of relationships stuck in my head. And have that deep fear of braking loyalty to the narcissist after seeing such a cruel punishments in front of my eyes year after year. That fear stile lives in me. And find myself in similar situations. I do not know how to describe that. That imperative to maintain loyalty to the abusive manipulative, selfish person, having strong narcissistic traits just working harder on improving relationships - never quitting - quitting is un-loyalty and sign of weakness, replication of the “sin” of father, for that most cruel punishments imaginable. Something like that in short.
I think it is more complex.
So true
Thank God I never had relationship. I was just observing. I realized He is Narc.
My narc used to meet me always without makeup al natural and in regular clothes. For the new suply now she doesn't leave the house without morfing into a diva, makeup, hairdo and all. The new mask 😁
When people say that racism is a problem in policing, I say, what about narcissism? It’s the policies that keep bad police on the force. We can control the racism and narcissism with accountability. How do we hold them accountable, end police unions, qualified immunity, and internal investigations. Gos bless
Did you even watch the video?
Hey, the BLM video's or white privilege BS is not here, dumb ass.
@@jorgejorge66 I despise both, silly. Are you a narcissist? I’m Mexican and have never claimed anyone had white privilege over me.
What’s your issue? Did I somehow push a button? Not my intent if so.
@@blrenx I just found this channel actually. I like it. I know I was off topic but I have nothing else to offer but solutions to many issues of today. I don’t mean to disrespect anyone or hurt anyone’s feelings.
Dude, just checked out your channel, you are the real deal. My bad, I thought you were a troll. It is people like you that are holding big brother accountable.
Oh yes, im definitely his soulmate. I thought for about 10 years that i was, but during the last 8 years i realized that I really wasn't. He wanted a maid and a sex slave and thats all. When we 1st met, he put me on a pedestal. Many years later he pulled the pedestal out from underneath me and I fell on my face. He never helped me get back up. I think I will always love him, but im not IN LOVE with him anymore. He caused me to much damage over the years
After all the future faking, promises, and overtures of my being his “soulmate” and the “apex of all women”, he went out and screwed around without a condom and endangered my heath!
my frnd started relationship when she was 20 they both got physical then they got seprated then tgey met ahain that men push nd pull they meet got physical again then he stopped getting physical with her its 14 year now sometimes he block her sometimes not now my frnd says its his twin flame she's getting messages from divine ..she says its she who misunderstood him he never wanted relationship its she pushing him noe he blocked her from one year she says he will give her commitment is it possible whenever i try to make her understand he can n narcissist she says not eveyone is like you eho experienced such relationships tell me is this possible sometimes i feel he is covert narcissist becoz he never abused her but clearky yold her but still dont leave comol kindly advise what the hell is happening
some people are like you are describing but not narrastic
⚠️FYI - A Narcissist are usually chosen by God for a high calling, but destroyed by the Devil with traumas and rejection, childhood abuses to make them loose their true identity and never fulfill their Destiny! They're Broken ppl...sadly
(💯I overcame by the blood of the Lamd the word of my testimony💯 )🙌
Rescued by Jesus and changed into a new creation by the Holy Spirit!
Hallelujah
Oh boy
Do you still accept recordings from your viewers?
My ex has had 100+ soulmates
I think some ppl will go too far and become paranoid. I prefer to tell someone whatever, then not care what they do with the info. Unemotional to them and their monkeys 🐒
I guess it´s easy to fall for the bullshit narcissists say to you if you forget what they are and that they fake what ever they want, even to be a soulmate. Narcissists use the physical base to let you think that there are special things between each other. When you know what a real emotional connection is like you would not fall for shit that is only manipulation. They want you to see something that means nothing special without respect.
It was the love bombing of course.
👍