Tragic & taboo - taking care of babies and children after death
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
- It's tragic, but it happens more often than you may think - the death of an infant or child is a time of incredible trauma and staff at the funeral home are often deeply touched by their interactions with family and preparations of the little ones for their service or viewing. It's something not spoken about often, but today mortician Tracy explains the process for preparing babies and children and shares her views on how she copes with this extremely distressing part of her job.
PS: this video was recorded a week ago when Queensland was experiencing super hot days. Today as this video is published, the weather is almost cyclonic and we are wearing long sleeves - go figure!
WARNING:
This video contains graphic material that may disturb some viewers.
It is not suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.
The views, thoughts, explanations and opinions expressed in this video belong solely to the presenters Tracy & Trish and not necessarily to their employers, organisation, or other groups or individuals.
I've had 4 miscarriages and no living children. Thank you for this video, it is a comfort.
So very sorry to hear this 😞
Sending you lots of love and hugs, take good care ❤️❤️
😢 I just wanted you to know my heart breaks 💔 for you. I can't even imagine how you feel. God will keep them safe and happy until your time comes, and He will return them to you. God Bless you Sweetheart 🙏 ❤️ SO sorry for your losses😢
As the mummy of 3 wee late miscarriages, im grateful for people that do your job, it's the most traumatic experience that you never truly get over it. All 3 of my boys had to go for PMs and each time when we collected them we took them straight for their burials as i couldn't have brought them home and let them leave the house. Each time i made a tiny crochet blanket so my baby wouldn't be cold, i know that sounds silly but to me it helped. Love amd best wishes from Northern Ireland x
Oh darling, that's so sad. Making blankets is beautiful. Not at all silly. 💜Sending love to you. We are so sorry for the pain you have been through 😔
Not silly at all
I can't even imagine what you've been through
I am so sorry for your losses. No, you are not silly. Knitting those blankets is therapeutic.
My little girl went Home to be with the LORD when she was 4 years 4 months and 15 days old. I had a blanket on her and a toy she was beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I miscarried my son so they are playing until Mama gets Home ❤❤❤❤❤
We lost our first grandson as he was born early and had under developed lungs due to a medical defect & he passed away right after birth. I was allowed to be there for his birth as they knew he would die. I can still see his perfect body and which feature he had from both sides of the families. It was so very heartbreaking and I always think of him and feel blessed that I got to be there for his birth and to have held and kissed him. Our son and daughter-in-law decided the best thing to do after 5 months was to try again and they were successful and had another son and then a daughter. The kids take turns having the urn in their room each week and they bake a cake for their brother every year to celebrate him. What a lovely gesture to keep his memory alive. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, so sad, but a beautiful way for the family to cherish him. 💜Thanks for sharing your story. 😢
My Brother-in-Law and his wife had a boy born stillborn. The hospital were brilliant the had a chill cot and allowed time for viewings and visits. I held him for a little while and made a couple of people (including myself) smile because as soon as I held him my instinct was to gently rock him and pat his back! A difficult and traumatic time for everyone. I love the idea of the angel gowns. Another lovely presentation on a difficult subject. Thanks 😊
Hi Steve, we are both sorry to hear that sad news, always heart breaking. The chill cots are so important, such a simple yet effective idea. I do the same when I nurse a baby in the mortuary, I rock them tap they backs and walk around cradling, singing, it feels so natural to do that. Thank you again for sharing your story 💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow I think most women would do that naturally and any men who have fathered children! My son was a difficult baby at night often after trying to calm him I've loaded him in the car and gone for a drive at 3am to get him to sleep. Once got stopped by the police at 3.15am.
I don't think they were buying my story till my "alibi" woke up and started screaming! They lost all interest after that and sent me on my way 😊. He's 34 now!
I knit Angel Gowns, hats and little cradles for a charity that supplies hospitals for babies born sleeping. It’s heartbreaking to see how tiny they are but it’s nice to think they give a little bit of comfort at a very traumatic time. To give you an idea of size, the base of the cradles are made from little butter tubs, then they have covers made for them.
When I was in mortuary school my first case was a little girl not even 3 years old. I had no warning when I walked into the prep room and she was laying right in there. I took a couple of steps in and turned around and walked out to collect myself for a few minutes. It came natural to me over the years and even after having my own children I’m still the only one who handles the babies and children. I’ve learned to desensitize myself but after 15 years I can count on 1 hand how many times a case has bothered me.
Thank you for sharing 🙏
Yes children can be very difficult to cope with for some people but you have to learn to cope. Take care ❤️❤️
This helped me know what my parents' two newborns had done, though that was in the late 50s and 1960; they died of hyaline membrane in a time with no NICUs. It broke my mom. Then they adopted me.
Oh no how sad for you parents 😔 to go through lossing 2 babies.
Thank you for sharing, take good care 😘❤️❤️
You can't do this job without a heart...you are perfect for this job! So very loving you are!
Thank you so much! 🤗❤️❤️
11:03 Thank you for being a human that take care of dead persons with dignity and respect.
Thank you so much 🤗❤️❤️
Thank you, for singing lullabies to these precious babies and children!
I live in Washington State, USA. I have a couple of friend who collect wedding dresses to make angel baby gowns. It is such a beautiful service for these families who have lost their beautiful children.
Thank you 🤗❤️❤️
My little girl Lily died 7 1/2 months into my pregnancy and I donated my wedding dress to Angel Gowns- such a nice cause to go to. I miss her every day and it’s kind of comforting to know the mortuary people are gentle with our babies🥹
Oh my goodness Lachlan 😞 we are both very sorry to hear such a sad story on losing your daughter, we have no words 🙏
Hope you and your family are doing ok and you have support were needed. Sending our deepest condolences 🌹🌹
I use the angles gowns at work 💚 thank you so much for supporting this amazing company and giving your wedding gown so other families who have lossed they babies benefit from your gift 🙏💚💚
Please take good care 💚💚
I lost my first baby at 29 1/2 weeks gestation to preeclampsia. I guess my whole body was struggling with it, protein in my urine, very high blood pressure, swelling, and all of that caused my daughters placenta to shut down. I wish you would’ve taken care of her. I really had nightmares about her being cold on a metal exam table. And I never really got to hold her and no one took photos of her at all. I only saw her for one brief moment from the side as they were whisking her away. I did read in the report that she had skin slip. Anyway, that was a very long time ago. Her name is Meagan Amanda and she was born Aug 4, 1983. Even to this day the word “stillborn” brings tears to my eyes. I did ask you before o saw this video, on another one, if you ever got upset when it was babies or small children that you were working on. Now I know that is a big YES. I said that I’m not particularly squeamish, but I am very sensitive. And probably even more so since I’m a loss mom. But what would be so hard for me is not sobbing at the tragedy that losing this young life was.
Hi lovely, we are so terrible sorry to hear you lost your daughter Meagan Amanda 😞 sending you all our love and hugs ❤️
Tracy the mortician here, yes it can and does get difficult somedays at work with babies and adults. My mum was killed in 2001 and this is why I do this job now because of the trauma my family and I went through, I feel I need to help people in similar situation. So yes while its hard somedays I just hope it makes a difference to others, this makes me cope with what I do.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and sorry for your loss of Meagan Amanda and your mom ❤️❤️
Some people seem to prefer the phrase "born sleeping".
Sorry for your loss.
This video was both so heartfelt & so compassionate & it is so overwhelming to see how much morticians, funeral directors & staff are affected when a little one dies. Our 3 year old son died in a freak accident in front of me & apart from the horrific gut wrenching, soul destroying, visceral grief; we were so moved by the genuine empathy & sorrow of the paramedics, police, doctors, nurses, funeral staff. I was so traumatised by losing my darling boy that I have massive holes in my memory during that time; thank you for looking after our little ones❤❤❤
Oh my goodness we are so so very sorry to hear this 😔 we both send you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹
Yes it's hard for morticians, paramedics, doctors and nurses but nothing compares to the loss and pain you as the parents goes through 🙏 words are never enough. Always be kind to yourself and take good care, sending you lots of love ❤️❤️
I cannot thank you enough for the TLC you give the babies...I spent 35 yrs as a Labor & Delivery & NICU nurse. I have attended many precious deaths as well as deliveries over the years that I feel deeply honored to attend. I too have lost 3 babies and know all too well what that heartache is. The cry of a mourning mother is different from all other wailings. It rips the soul apart. I too would pray for them all, bathe and dress each little one in my care. Often I would try and take a last photo of them and would hold the pictures for up to 1 yr for a parent that may not be able to look upon them. Sometime later almost all parents will want to look at them when their babe is gone. I am now retired, but I still can see each one of them in my mind. These little angles never leave us. I would sing to them often too. I could never bring myself to cover their little faces when I had to carry them to the morgue. As a mother, and now grandma & great-grandma I could never do that. Have you ever been asked to take photographs for the family? Now they have pro photographers that will donate a set of photos for families in the USA, but when I was a nurse at the beginning of my career there were none. The mind always conjures up pictures in our minds that are much worse than reality so I would always try and take a picture and hide any deformity or damage the best I could. Not seeing them ultimately haunts a mother. God Bless you for doing such precious care of all people in your charge...no matter the size.
Oh wow what a beautiful soul you are. Amazing work throughout your career thank you for what you have done in helping we could only imagine thousands of families 🙏
We are so very sorry to hear you lost your own children too but yet you give back to others in their more awful times 😔 think you are the angel.
Yes I often take photos for the family and we do have professional photographers that come in also.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Take good care 💚💚
My baby sister was stillborn in 1963. Das took care of the funeral arrangements, but the funeral director told him not to see her bc she was in bad shape.
I suffered a late misscarriage a month ago. My baby was washed ,dressed and placed in a little basket at the hospital was great what they did for her. We agreed to see our baby but only could face to see her once. I wanted a full post mortem and I just wonder how she is cared for in the mortuary but this video helped.
So very sorry to hear 😔 sending you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹 hope you are doing ok 🙏
@@Areyoudyingtoknow I'm doing better thank you the funeral helped the grieving process.
@@elizabethgleed2371I am so sorry for your loss.
I miscarriages twice at 7 months pregnant.They were both boys.This was in 1968 and 1969.There was funerals for both.
Oh Verna, that’s so sad. Funerals can really help with grief though, we are sure you still hold those little boys close to your heart. Sending love to you 🥰
❤@@Areyoudyingtoknow
Thank you for talking about this difficult topic. My husband, during his first marriage, lost his daughter at the age of 4 months to SIDS and while I did not know him then, I know he still struggles with it 16 years later. I hope whoever cared for precious baby Katherine was as kind and considerate as you are.
We hope 🙏 so.
Sending all our best to you and your husband and hope he's doing well. Take good care 💚💚
When i was in my training to be a therapist, one of my clinical training jobs was in the emergency room of a childrens hospital, to be on hand to give bereavement support to fa.ilies who lost a child. We had a lot.of losses to motor vehicle accidents, but some.of the hardest were the kids who died of gunshot wounds, kids killed in drive-by shootings or just as bystanders caught in crossfire. An Uzi can really damage a preschooler. My hat is off.to you for caring for them.
Oh my goodness that's so very heartbreaking 😔 I honestly don't know how you coped. You have the hardest job actually dealing with the family one on one. Thank you for what you do 🙏❤️❤️
I have often wondered if therapists themselves have to have any type of counseling with their supervisors to help them deal with their own emotions about the job.
The angel gowns are a magnificent idea. I plan to ask an old neighbor of mine who is a funeral director if she'd be interested. Charity shops always have beautiful dresses !
Hi Dori, you definitely should do that 💚 please let's us know if you go ahead, it makes such a different for the families 💚💚 take care 😊💚
People who are able to disconnect from a tragedy and complete their tasks are very special and somewhat rare. My dad was a policeman for 30yrs and could turn it off when he needed to, something he passed on to me later when I did the job. I definitely understand how hard it can be seeing a child in the conditions you describe. You have a special gift and a kind heart. Thank you for service and compassion!
Thanks GE WELLS, the job the police do is amazing and we are so lucky to have outstanding, brave people like you protecting us day in, day out. Thank you 🤩
I don't even have children, but this video had me in tears. 😢
I cannot even imagine the heartbreak of losing a beloved baby or child.
It clearly touched your hearts too.
Bless you for your love, emotion and yes, of course, your professionalism. Thanks for giving them teddies too ❤
Thank you so much! 🤗❤️❤️
I lost my son due to stillbirth, and I understand that things may be a little different where I am in the UK, but his care was handled so well. They let my mum dress him and I visited him every day leading up to his funeral in the funeral home. It’s such a beautiful feeling knowing there’s such wonderful people that take care of the little babies that have been lost way too soon, thank you so much!
So very sorry to hear 😞 sending you our deepest condolences 🙏🏽
Yes we do all that here in Australia it's important to have the family looking after their loved ones and being hands on it does help many in the healing process. Take good care 🩷🩷
My parents lost their firstborne son in 1956 he was five months old. He died from the flu my mother said she couldnt leave him alone at the funeral home so the owners wife promised mother that she would stay with "baby kenny" all night and she did .bless her for helping
My parents througha very sad and difficult time.This was i Indiana
at flowers funeral home.
So special the lady stayed with baby Kenny all night 😔❤️❤️
My son use to worked at the hospital where we live and it was so sad for him when a patient passed away then he was called to bring them to the morgue but it really bothered him when he had to bring babies and children there. I get how this would be traumatic for you all. It’s great that you have a support team to help you with that trauma you endure in your jobs. God bless you for doing what you do and being so supportive and respectful. Just for you to talk about it is so sad for you to explain how you handle babies and older children. That shows how much you care. Thank you for explaining how you handle younger children and babies even though it hurts to do so. You are stronger then I would be in your position. 😢.
I have much respect for what you do your line of work would be very difficult to work in 💞 I ha e 7 children but lost my 14 yr old son 7 years ago and I got to spend an hour in the funeral home with him he looked amazing the work they done on him 💙 bless you both 🙏❤️🙏
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏 and thank you for sharing your story 😞 we are both so very sorry to hear you lost your 14 year old son 😞 sending you our deepest condolences 🌹💚 so very special you spent that time with him in the end 🙏 please take good care of yourself 💚💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow ❤️❤️❤️
💚💚
Thanks so much ladies, I had tears also, the fact you surround the babies with teddys and nurse them and sing to them is so so special thank you x you both make a great team
Hi Kira, thanks for the beautiful comment and for watching!
that must be the most heartbreaking thing ever in the world losing a mother and baby and as mother of two I'm sending my deepest sympathy to the families
It is terribly sad Natalie. It's always a struggle caring for baby's and children. Stay safe 💚
I love that you warn everyone. I want to become a mortician someday. you can tell if someone is meant to be in the industry based on compassion and professionalism. it's okay to feel some for your families. you're amazing.
Thank you so much 🙏
And good luck in the future to become a mortician 🥰❤️❤️
Hello, dear ladies. I love that there are angel gowns for little ones. If I lost a baby or a child, I would feel less horrified about putting them in a woman’s care.
The angel gowns are so beautiful ❤️❤️
Don't be upset sweetie your a god sent for what you do compassionate all the way....❤
Thank you 🙏💚💚
Love your accent and how lovely you do your job, I'm really glad that you talk about this difficult topic...thank you very much
Thanks for your lovely comment. It's so important that people are comfortable to talk about death if they feel they want to - it's a certain thing 🙂
It's remarkable to think about how for most of human history, life expectancy was so low because of high infant mortality. In some places it still is.
Very true 💜
Losing a lovedone is traumatic. From a funeral director's perspective I fully understand how more difficult dealing with children and their families could be. It's NOT natural to deal with funerals of your children. Grandma passes it's emotional but you can focus on her life and the positive influence she's had on her children and grand children.
There must be technical challenges if you have to embalm a baby but I can't imagine having to deal with families. Thank the Lord for Tracy and people like her😇
Thank you 💚
I need to hear this. I lost my son to SIDS over 40 years ago. He was 3.5 months. I never got to truly say goodbye. He was taken from home by the ambulance officer and I never saw him again till the viewing and finally his funeral and burial. The viewing frightened me. I was only 19 yo. I kissed him goodbye but I was shocked he was so cold. I’ve never been able to shake that fear.
So very sorry to hear 😞 sending you lots of love and hugs, take good care ❤️❤️
We lost our first child second trimester 10.5 yrs ago... just finding ur channel. I’m 4 mins in but already, thank you for being you.
Hi Megan, we are both so sorry to hear such very sad news on your first child😔 and send our love and thoughts to you and your family. It does not matter how much time goes by the loss is still tremendous, we have to learn to adjust and cope in different ways, but never forgotten 🙏❣️
Your simple words to us are so Heart warmly kind, thank you, please take care 💚💚
I absolutely love the idea of angel gowns. I'm going to find out if such a service exists here in South Africa. My wedding dress has been sitting in the cupboard for years, this seems the perfect thing to do with it ❤️👼💙
Thats a lovely thing for you to do 💕
@@Areyoudyingtoknow I'm happy to report that I found a company in Cape Town called The Angel Gown Initiative, I'll be contacting them to make arrangements to courier my dress down to them. 😊
So much respect for you ladies. My career goal has been to become a Mortician from a young age. This subject has always made me think twice about it. It's such an upsetting thing to think about. This video has helped me so much! You're fantastic at what you do. Thank you both so much!
Hi KatyAnn, thank you for watching and your kind words. It is one of the hardest parts of the job but I cope knowing that this is to help the grieving families through some awful time ahead. The funeral industry needs caring people to do theses jobs, so if you are thinking twice about it sounds like you would and could be caring towards theses families too. Let's us know how you go ☺️ stay safe and healthy 💚💚
My baby sister was still born. Her umbilical cord got wrapper around her lil neck. mom told the Dr something was wrong because at the 5 th month of the pregnancy, the baby who is named Debbie Lynn Stanley has stopped moving. The Dr blew it off as oh your baby is ok it is just lazy. My dad buried the baby and Mom never even got to see or hold the sweet Angel. My oldest sister remembers it all. She Debbie was black skinned . My mom never knew where she was buried. I found that out and took Mom to the mortuary and they showed where the baby was placed. Us remaining sister bought her a small head stone.
You have my highest regards and respect for the work you do, especially concerning children. Losing a child is heart wrenching I could not imagine dealing with it as you do in your occupation.
Hi Jorrie it is very difficult some days, but I always think this is the least I can do to help a grieving families of children and babies. 💚💚
I cried watching this as you are def a loving woman. Myself and two daughters had miscarriages early but life and death are natural and sad of course. Faith and wonderful people like you both all take the journey worthwhile ❤
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏
So very sorry to hear of your losses 😔 sending hugs ❤️❤️
This video shows your heart is made of gold❤Your feelings are true...thank you for this presentation...
Hi Nancy, thank you for your kind words 🙏 some days at work can be very difficult. Take care 😊💚
Tracy and Trish, you ladies are angels 😇 You deserve all the respect in the world for doing what you're doing. It's lovely to see how you interact and care for each other. ❤
Awww thank you so much 🥰 so kind ❤️❤️
My heart broke for you Tracey listening to your narrative. Thank-you for sharing. ☺️
Hi Linda, thank you so much 🤗
So sorry I just saw your message, big hugs ❤️❤️
@@Areyoudyingtoknow no apologies needed ever! 🥰
Thank you, you are always so kind and lovely 🥰🩷🩷
Snow is in my forecast in the states. May I come to Australia? You can come here for the snow! I can try your job (maybe not). This subject is very serious and you handled it well. I lost a few babies and I understand the trauma. Yet, I think you both have huge hearts and handled it well! Thank you!
Mary, we are so sorry to hear of your loss. Our hearts go out to you.💚
The heat here is ridiculous today. It's so humid!!
Stay warm. Sounds like you've got some top notch viewing to keep you busy.🥰
@@Areyoudyingtoknow we were without power today. It was cold! My puppy and I snuggled ALL day. VERY nice!
Awe thank you so much. My faith keeps me strong. Lost my babies. Then 4 years ago lost my husband and my Daddy 6 months ago. It gets rough.
However, I have a question about my husband. I was going to ask in email but I think I am able to do it here. He passed on a Tuesday and I didn't have his services until Friday and Saturday. He had Congestive heart failure and was full of a LOT of fluid...maybe 75 to 100lbs of fluid...you work in kilograms...(divide by 2.205 right?😳) 34.02 to 45.36?!?! Of fluid...(did I do the math right?) The funeral director is a dear friend. However maybe in my grief I didn't understand what he was saying. On my husband, Keith they had to put him in a plastic bag and then put his clothes on over that. Why did they put the plastic on him? I hugged or touched him several times and felt the plastic. It almost felt like a garment bag. Is it because of the fluid he had on him before he passed? Thank you for your care and love with each answer you give. It sometimes feels like a hug. I'd love to meet you ladies and hug Kalvin!💗 If he has the guts to hug a girl. 🤣
Hi ladies
That was an emotional watch but very interesting.
I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks and it was heartbreaking.
Thanks for posting xxx
Hi Rachael, we are so sorry to hear of you loss, it's so heart breaking for you and your family. We hope you always have help and support from you family and friends. Stay safe and healthy 💚
Hi ladies. My mentor and I embalmed a seven day old baby yesterday as the family wanted to take her home overnight. It was a hard day to say the least.
Oh Mandy, big hugs to you. That’s so sad, but what a beautiful gift you gave that family, the chance to cuddle and be with their bub until they are ready to let go. Our thoughts are with you xx
@@Areyoudyingtoknow Thank you. You ladies are so kind.
💚💚
Aww what can i say, i love you ladies and how you approach these subjects, it is a taboo subject but its nice to hear it being talked about and in such a respectful way, i havent lost a child but ive lost family members as previously mentioned on other videos and its good to know how their treated and looked after/cared for, but to see the emotion and feeling that you ladies had while doing this video is very touching, i guess i thought a mortician would be a hard faced person i dont mean that in any disrespect but i guess you just think their hard wired to deal with it without the emotions so to see tracey crying is touching and makes me realise what you go through, so thankyou it brings comfort to know this, im in the united kingdom but if i lived in your area id be honoured if tracey looked after my family when they died, if i ever had this experience of losing a child obviously i dont hope for that but if i ever did id be very comforted knowing the baby is cradled anc cuddled at the mortuary because the hardest part of losing my family members was thinking of them alone in a cold fridge :(
I think its great that you talk about these situations but in such sensitivity as well.
Love you guys to bits :) big hugs xx
Hi again Lucy, you made me cry (this is Tracy) reading this, thank you for all the kind words and if I was back home in the UK it would be a great privilege to take care of your loved ones 💚 but let's hope you do not need the help of a mortician for a very long time.
I need friends like Trish because along with my family she's a great help when I feel like work is overwhelming me. some days I struggle just to open the bodies bag because I am afraid of what I might see, but these days are few and far between, because I know I can help someone today.
Stay safe and healthy and a very happy Christmas from us both 🎄💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow aww its lovely to hear from you tracy, and thankyou but yes agreed i hope i dont need a mortician anytime soon in the nicest possible way of course, trish seems like an awesome friend to have and together your great :) i dont know how you do the job but i can see you put your heart and soul into it and yes im sure many many families are grateful for your help so please keep doing what you do. Look forward to your next video together, and thankyou for replying i appreciate it :) xx
Your an angel. God bless you.
Thank you so much for your kind words 💚💚
My Mom was pregnant for about 4-5 months when her baby died in Utero. She carried the baby for about a month. When he was delivered & taken to the funeral home he was so small the man at the funeral home couldn’t do anything to the body except to pour embalming fluid all over the body. This was back in 1953. Would that preserve him for any length of time? The doctor said he had partially rotted inside of my Mom! She never forgot about him! I am a rainbow baby!
I am in USA.
Hi burnetteterry73, so sorry that is a sad story and so touching he's never forgotten about. It is very possible that the baby had started to deteriorate inside your mum.
I have done a few treatments that we call a "embalming bath" this were we place the baby in a small bath with embalming chemical in, keeping the head elevated out of the fluid, this is so the chemical does not over embalm the face. I would cover the baby and bath with a plastic sheet and the fumes will embalmer the head and face. Depending on the size of the baby I would leave them in the bath for up to 2 hours. It will preserve for maybe a week or 2
Babies do deteriorate faster than adults.
"Rainbow 🌈 baby, because it is like a rainbow after a Storm, something beautiful after something scary & dark" 🌈♥️
I have a friend in the UK she is a rainbow 🌈 baby too. And that quote i have heard a few times, so always remember you are the something beautiful 💚
Thank you for watching take care x
@@Areyoudyingtoknow Thank you for answering my question! I watch your channel very often!
Tough awful topic. Nicely respectfully handled though of course, that was so hard, distressing upsetting topic for you both to record. Thank you for covering this topic. Bless you both.
Beautiful story about wedding dresses & charm.
Bless you Tracy 😰🙏 Awwww beautiful 💞 so much care & respect, singing & talking and making them loved...especially with teddies etc beautiful. Hope your both ok after that...unfortunately it happens but never never right, I’ve been to a babies funeral tiny coffins 😭 horrible.
I’ve got something related to this topic but I’ll email you Trish as disturbing. (Sorry Trish) love you guys 😍✌️
Hi David, we are both ok thank you. It is a really tough subject to cover but a very important one.
Baby coffins are so small it's always heart breaking to see 💚
Will lookout for your email ☺️
@@Areyoudyingtoknow did you receive my email Trish xx
I love you ladies. so funny and sincere all at the same time.
Thank you George, kind words 💚💚
That’s great they offer counseling for you and your coworkers!
I think so too! 💚💚
Thank you for covering this subject. I haven’t had a stillborn but I’ve been through 2 miscarriages ( first at 11 weeks and my last at 8 weeks).
Hi FJ VouxDoo, we want to pass on our thoughts to you and condolences, that is very sad. We hope you have family and friends around to help you thought theses times and continued support. Please stay safe and healthy, take care 💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow thank you. My fiancé has been my rock. The doctors suspect I have PCOS and endometriosis. Which is common for people like myself who have hypermobile elhers danlos syndrome. X
I'm so very sorry for both losses. You are still Their Mommy, U are still a Mommy, your Babies just aren't with you right now. May God bless and watch over U.
I had 3 miscarriages and it was very devastating, but I know they're watching over me my little Angel's (Cheyenne, Cassidy, and Casey)
So very sorry to hear 😔 sending you our deepest condolences 🌹🌹 always be kind to yourself 🙏❤️❤️
My son and his wife had a still baby. Ingot to go and hold him and rock him up on my.shoulder as we do our babies. I got to talk to him and tell him.how much he was loved and wanted. I got to kiss and hug him and snuggle him.up in his blankets on my chest. It was a double pain as he was my grandson and also because he looked so much like his daddy when he was born. There was a group of people that had had a still baby and they helped families with funeral arrangements when people needed to have things done that they couldn't do at the time. They paid for his cremation and the little ABC block that is his urn. When I leave this Earth, I am going ask people to make donations to this group to help other families. I'll see him again one day.
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Thank you so much for sharing this.
You are very welcome. And thanks to you Janie for your interest and your comment. Take care😊
She is amazing! True professional!
Thank you so much that's so kind to you ❤️❤️
This would be so difficult to do and heart breaking. Great respect to you both.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
Hi ladies xx this time around it was very sad and it just shows that what big hearts you both have x😪😪💞💞ive been to 3 babies funerals in my life time and it really is heartbreaking to witness x you still having thunderstorm out there in sunny Australia where we are actually having sunshine today and quite mild atm x when is Calvin gna have his xmas outfit on??and I love the bandana that Tracey wears 🙂🙂🙂💞💪stay safe and well girls and never give up never give in xx
Hi Lorraine, thank you very much for your kind words. Yes baby funeral are just terrible sad 😞
Yes big summer storms, thankful eased off a bit now. Trish and I were just talking about a Christmas Kalvin 😉
You also stay safe and healthy 💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow awwww it would be lovely to see him all hohoho 😂😂😂💞much love to you all from sunny England xx
Bless i Love you two so caring x
Thank you so much Peter 🌹💚💚
I love it when my notifications say you have uploaded !! 💃💃💃 have you guys got a new camera? The quality seems higher! xxx
Hi Nathan lippitt, thanks for noticing a slight change in quality. Trish got us some studios lights and a new studio to film in 😁 thanks for watching stay safe 💚
Even though this video is 3 years old my former wife and i had twin girls when she was 26 weeks gestation 1 of the girls died a day after she was born and the other one died 7 days after her birth. We never had a chance to say goodbye to them as the hospital took them away. It was about 30 years before we knew where they were buried.
Oh no we are so very sorry to hear this 😔 how terrible 😢 we both send you our deepest condolences, it doesn't matter how much time has gone by it's still your children. Take good care ❤️❤️
Hi there!! I would like to know about preparing a expecting mother. Do you remove the baby? Or embalm the mother and present her pregnant for viewing. I think this would be very interesting. By the way, I love your videos. Robert from the USA!
Hi Robert, thank you for your question, that is a good one, will answer that in an up and coming video. Take care and stay safe and healthy out in the USA 🙂💚
Angel Dresses sounds like a wonderful idea. So often the death of a perinatal infant is hushed up and not acknowledged in the US.
Hi Elizabeth, the angel gowns are so very beautiful and all hand made from old wedding gowns. ❤️
It's sad the US hush these things up. Thank you for your information take care 💚💚
I don’t think I saw the video where you talk about the children that were in the accident. Would you please lmk what the title of it is? Ty!
Yay! You have ads now! Hard work paid off ladies
❤️ ya
Thanks Mel, gotta fund the fancy studio lights somehow. Hope the ads aren't too annoying.💚
Thankyou both for this xx
You are very welcome Jacqueline xx
❤️❤️🌹🌹 sweet souls y’all are
Hey ladies! From Oklahoma
Hi Melanie Harris ☺️ hope you are safe and well out in Oklahoma, we love our American friends 💚
My baby daughter died 12/8 and this video has me wondering so many things now is there a place at the funeral home where they would be writing down all what they did to Molleigh Christine? No one got permission from me to do anything to her i don’t think would I need to sign for it ?
Hi Bernadette Herpak Glisan, we send our deepest condolences to you on the loss of your daughter Molleigh Christine, so very sorry for your loss 😞
Here in Australia we have to have signed permission from next of kin to do any kind of procedure on a body in our care. And record what kind of preparation it was from basic to embalmed. So everything is recorded for records to be kept and archive if we need to go back to these for any reason.
I hope you have good support around during this time, take care from us both 💚
Also how do you take care of a gun shot wound to the face and head ? Tia
Hi, we have done many videos on this subject maybe you may come across some of them in our back catalogue. Thank you for your question take care 😊💚
I almost made it to 15 minutes before I started to cry. Wee babies ...
Oh yes it can be so very difficult 😔 hope you are ok 🙏💚
How do you prepare severely burned bodies? Love your videos!
Hi Starrysky, thank you for watching. If bodies are burnt to a point we're they totally black and chared and beyond a possible viewing, I would still. Clean with running water & disinfect the body, then wrap in a shroud or sheet place in a clear plastic bag and place some odor eliminator powder in the bag then heat seal the bag up before placing in the coffin. I find burnt victim quite traumatic to prep, but will always do my best to take care of the bodies with dignity and respect 💚
Thank you so much for responding! A friend died in a very bad car accident and was burnt and had a closed casket :( Always wondered what went on with his body
So sad!
Hi Anne, thank you for watching 💚
Has anyone ever had a viewing with a kind of decomposed body?
Hi Teresa, yes many times. We do tell families that viewings are definitely not recommended on a body that is badly decomposed, because that's the image you are going to have for ever and sometimes it's best to remember them in life, not that awful image and smell that can be very confronting. But at the end of the day we can not stop the family if they really want to see them. We will get the family to sign a weaver to say viewing is not recommended. Thanks for watching 💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow In Sweden were I live embalming is not very common. When my mum died in 2014 we had a viewing and she had been in cold storage for about a week. She looked OK but her fingertips were a bit black and her tongue was sticking out a bit. I'm still glad I saw her though as I lived in the UK at the time and hadn't seen her for a while. They sat us down and told us what to expect which was good.
Hi Teresa, I worked in funeral Home there was a gent who was found dead in his home he was decomposed , I done the transfer from the coroner he was liquid all ready in a contained coffin. So there was no viewing as you could understand why .
Hi Teresa, sorry we have not replied earlier, this this message slipped passed us. So sorry about you mum that is terribly sad. It's good that you made the right choice for you to you move in your grieving process, but I always try and think of all the times my mum looked wonderful in life. Take care 😊💚
@@nitramssog1727 that sounds really terrible !
Interesting to get an ad before the video for "HappyBaby" baby food.... 🤐
😮 that's so out of our control 😔
I wish we could know our loved ones were in as caring hands here in the US. Although you've answered questions for your country we do hear horror stories here.
Hi, yes it's awful to hear the horrible stories out there but we have similar stories here too. But I do think the kind, caring and respectful funeral homes do out weigh the bad ones 🤞
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Show the gowns please
Hi Donna, I have popped a link to a video we did on the gowns a while back. 🤗❤️
th-cam.com/video/Lno15Msjiu0/w-d-xo.html
I would love to donate my wedding dress to make Angel gowns,my Mum bought my dress,i sadly never had children, and i know Mum would love this to happen...so would i..i live in the U.K
Hi you should search the internet sure you will find a similar charity that will take your wedding dress. It's a wonderful gift to give to parents who have lots a baby 😘❤️❤️
My mother had miscarriages in the 60's and 70's. They were considered medical waste and were incinerated.
Sadly, thats what happened.
Have you ever had families who want to stay and watch the preparation and enbalming?
Prep yes, but not so much embalming. Watching the blood drain and the tricar work would be quite traumatic.
can people prepare there own family bodies-refusing to let you do it for family culture and faith beliefs
Hi, yes they can 💚
After 20 weeks of pregnancy, a loss is a stillbirth, not a miscarriage.
Angel gowns are a nice idea.
Angel gowns are so beautiful, hand made from donated wedding gowns 💚💚
❤🙏🏿💙🙏🏿❣️
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Yay im first hi ladies merry Christmas 🎅
Hi Michael, so you are. Have a very merry Christmas and a safe and healthy New year from us both 🎄🥳
Thank you I absolutely love you guys lol thanks for all you do
Go do something interesting and fun...you mean go watch another video? (I watched an eye ball autopsy and a brain autopsy too...the brain was easy...the eye! Holy! Of all the things you do, what is the one thing that made you feel weird when you started?
The eyeball and orbital area would make me feel weird....I think it would feel like they are staring at you...and I’d have the reaction to close my eyes if I saw work or did work in that area!
Hi Mary, I am ok with eyes. The thing that used to get me when I first started, was been confronted with my first head post (Autopsy on the head) having to pull the face forward towards the chin and taken off the top of the skull and seeing inside the head (brain removed by pathologists at autopsy) just a fascinating site. I am very used to them now, don't freck me out anymore.
Take care Mary 💚
@@Areyoudyingtoknow wow I find it very interesting! The human body is a glorious thing. I love knowing more about it in life and death! Thank you BOTH for always taking the time to answer my questions! 💗
WOW have to stop you there at 15.09,,, No body has to be embalmed , for going to their own home, chilled by way of cool sheets and ice is allowed,,,,IT IS NOT A LAW to have anyone embalmed for home viewing,, Many embalmers have stated this and they try to push the public to embalm as they get more money,,,,,Sad when funeral homes etc rip these poor people off in their time of grief and monetary worries
Hi shapumawildcat, thank you for the feed back, just had a look at the video and you are right I need to adjust my wording. I will correct this in our next video and relate it back to that one. Correct it is not law to embalm anybody (I refer to Queensland Australia, not the rest of the world) but bodies do have to be embalmed if been repatriated international otherwise airline will not accept them. Yes lots of funeral homes do a big push and try and up sell to grieving families, ifs awful had it done to me a few times when going back to the UK after lossing loved ones there. We do not do that at my place of work here, we advise if needed but don't push. You bring up a great point and definitely want to amend this. Take care 😊💚
So verybsad
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God bless you both for the great job you do for the family's thank you
Thank you Ted for your kind words 🙏💚💚
Im thankfully have 3 healthy boys and never had a loss but i know of family and friends who lost babies and children and i dont think i could mentally handle it😢 i had a friend lose a baby to sids and another one pass due to a drunk driver i was the one who pulled the child out the car seat since the first responders refused to do it... it was very hard knowing she was gone.
Oh no so very sorry to hear this 😞 poor little soul ❤️❤️