I feel my biggest problem is I really really really find value in finding another black man. However, I find a lot of the black men in my area (the LA area) aren’t really looking for other black dudes. I really really really see myself with another black man. Like that’s really important to me nothing wrong with other black guys who don’t see the importance like I do. But for me I really want to be seen with another black man. It’s hard like really hard. Especially in the city.
I didn't know I needed to hear this but boyhowdy did I need to hear this. I feel all alone in these gay streets tryna be monogamous and build a lasting relationship with dudes who really don't want to get me. So I have been working on me. And my happiness. Thank you for this, for affirming my inner thoughts.
Wow I totally get what you're saying. I'm in a particular place in my life where I'm working on myself so that when the right one comes along I will be prepared and ready to move forward
Another point you should mention is to not force yourself on anyone. If you've expressed interest in someone and the interest is not reciprocated, don't waste your time by continuously messaging or approaching them with the hope that you would change their minds about you.
Also a lot of black gay men prefer to date interracially. Nowadays when you see a beautiful and educated black man you gotta sit back and wonder “....does he even like other black men?”
I don't think there's nothing wrong with dating interracially, i thought we are supposed to be a community that's about progression, equality, and acceptance. I think people now adays are just more open minded and not racist or prejudices towards other cultures but however i do know the type of people your talking about the people that think dating a lighter skin person will make them feel higher we don't need that either.
I was accused of only dating men who are not Black. The demographics was my "reason". I've done inner examination and discovered internalized negrophobia and a host of things I'm carrying. Not to mention, as Black men who are interested in being with another Black man, we have to deal with the spectrum of phobias Black people have globally.
@@DJCroft True. Dating people from different countries should be an experience, not an ego boost or subject to discrimination. Most find love in a hopeless place. The difference lies in what we do to develop new hope.
I am black and I’m very open to dating interracially. I am attracted to all men regardless of their race. But yes some people do dates outside of their race as some kind of status symbol. My thing is if you accept me as I am, I don’t care about your race.
I would suggest keeping your options open and look for someone with similar goals. Stop being so enamored with their physical traits. Physical attraction is very important but it’s not everything, it’s a part of it.
Yes!! Thanks bro... this is good!!! Its one of the reasons I no longer date. I have learned the joy of being single. Single is not a social disease or stigma but rather it is an opportunity for me to watch and learn. At 39, I would rather be single than to deal with the foolery of dating. As I grow older, I have discovered that solitude is golden!!! Although there's no love im my life, my house is peaceful, my adventures are amazing, and a "table for one" is just fine"
I'm 39 also and I can totally agree with the solitude is golden! and being observant. Anytime I feel like I'm missing out I scroll down twitter and see that people in these perfect relationships be drama filled! do I want someone to hold at night? yes, but do I want drama no!
@@Croix98101 what sucks is that i was ready to actually go out where black men congregated but then the pandemic happened now im definitely a homebody lol. oh welp used this time to upgrade so when the world reopens i can be ready to mingle lol.
Looooved the opening and was HOLLERING at the thought of relatives sitting us down as teens and spilling the real tea....so true though. 🤣🤣 They know they've had some experiences they taking to the grave. As a black gay knockin' on 50s door, fortunately these have not been my problems. I know what I bring to the table and truly am prepared to dine alone at the first hint of usery, finnesery, bamboozlement or hoodwinkery! By this age you've been around the block 'several many' times and know how it is in these skreets. I can play real naive and clueless when I want to, and all the while 5 steps ahead of the shananigans people try to pull.
This is very relevant my brother and needful, as a late bloomer entering the community was almost tragic. However, thanks to people like yourself, you have left a footprint for us... Thanks 😊
When we meet somebody to whom we are attracted, it's so easy to have expectations, whether they are reasonable or not. Years ago, I read an interview with Fritz Perls who said "I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine... And if, by chance, we find each other, it's beautiful."
This was so insightful. Thank you for sharing this. Two years in DC and you are so right there is this box that I’m not able to fit into and I thought I was the problem but come to think of it, I don’t belong in a box. I’m fine by myself. Thank you so much for this
Sampson thanks for sharing this … This video is everything & I couldn’t agree more we rarely have any positive role models in the gay community. And I’ve taken the time to work on Stephen an find happiness within myself I’m not looking for a relationship at all. I’ve been thru too much with guys in the past & currently healing from past trauma.Mostly all these guys want is sex,sex,sex. I’m looking to be in a monogamous relationship but right now just waiting patiently an focusing on myself. I know I’m attractive & can get any man I want but I’ve learned that sometimes looks isn’t it. Most guys nowadays can come disguised as an angel but really be demons. Ppl need to take the time to get to know people before jumping into relationships.
I have a tip from J Krishnamurti...."The moment you follow a Man/Woman is the moment you cease to Follow Truth" so Greatly agree when you say Learn and Love yoself....Stop in the name of Truth...placing your Joy in others' hands 💯
Great video. What I do like about the apps is the ability to weed out a lot of people who right off the bat you know aren't right for you. I also like many people I would rush to try and lock a 'good' man bc something kept telling me there was a shortage. Then I'd end up with the wrong 'good' man who want right for me. Enjoy getting to know a person over time is a personal goal that I trying to foster.
Same regurgitated advice as always: be yourself, love yourself, have confidence lol etc etc you know these things never work right? I know because I've been doing that and you don't really attract anyone. In fact I think it scares people away. Lol
Hmm, in my opinion, it is always be great to be genuine and to be single, than to be fake and to be surrounded by leeches. You have peace and love that no one can bother. True compromise with your polar opposite takes courage and consistency.
@@ramirez02727 I think ppl put to much faith into this thing called "love" and I doubt ppl know what love really is. Everyone is SCARED of ending up old and alone that's why they are so invested into this race of finding a "partner" competition because , according to media , " being single is bad " or " being alone is sad". And when they fail at this relationships competition, it creates a never ending circle of sadness and toxicity. media like movies or "dating apps" warped peoples definitions of happiness and relationships so bad.
I was one of those gay guys who just was open perhaps too much and I would spend money on guys who I thought were interested in me but they didn’t want me. I felt ugly cuz I was skinny and dark skinned. I didn’t have a fat ass, I take the bus an I’m a dishwasher making $12 an hour. I hated myself for a long time I asked god why he make me like this?
@George Shankar and in 2019 I won a king who’s wonderful an caring 2 years later we goin strong he’s my best freind, he’s amazing an he tells me I’m sexy
And I bet you anything that you are more beautiful than you think of yourself. Its always the best looking guys that think of themselves this way. I hope you found the happiness you were searching for. ❤ u brother ❤
@@RafaelNogueras-e6j wow I forgot my comment existed on here 💀 time really flies But major life update: I have my own small business now and it’s doing good, it’s in its 2nd year! I have a 2021 Honda which is a major upgrade for me I started out with a 96 ford Taurus 💀 me and my babe we are working thru life an it’s almost 5 years for us. Do I still have some major insecurities yes I do, rn what’s getting to me is the fact I’m 30 almost an I don’t have much of a social life, I see the other gays an they are out a lot, lots of freinds in THIER corner an sometimes I wish I had that life
Sampson you gave the best advice with “be your best self for you and no one else.” I feel like if you invest into yourself then the men who you really deserve will eventually follow.
Fat phobia is one of the main issues why a lot of gay guys are single. I see soo many beautiful fat gay men that brings everything to the table, have wonderful personalities, and are looking for long term relationships but gay men are too shallow to look past their weight and actually get to know them for who they are.
i totally agree with you. however, to go a little deeper, do you think those fat gays themselves are also fat phobic? because at the end of the day they could boo up with other fat gays so nobody would be left out.. just an observation i guess
@@distantnative2478 girl lol I see a hit dog will holler! You don’t have to like or date fat people that’s YOUR loss but you will respect them! Judging from your picture you ain’t nothing special to look at anyways soooo NEXT CASE💁🏾♂️.
Hello Sampson, thank you for your advices, for your empathy. You have a good heart. Well, i am not black, but the"love", and the experiences on the way for beeing loved by your self or for beeing loved by a another man -black or white- are for sure compareable. All the best to you and hopefully you are going to find your "loveliest comrade for life". Simon
To be honest because of my poor dating life I’ve started to question is it because of my dark skin? Not being masculine, with a six pack, and being smart. I try to watch what I eat, always try to be presentable, and smile. It’s so much pressure too the point that I now think is the curse for being gay.. I hate being ugly and insecure!! Ugh
Sis you aren't ugly, you're a house boy. Meaning you sit in the house while an older wealthy White man takes care of you. Ain't no Rayheim about to marry you.
The fact is, you need to build the confidence through desire. People go for it with confidence when they DESIRE a lot. Try and preserve that inner tension of yours through self control and a positive outlook.
I haven't been single for that long (2 years) but I generally did not have a good experience dating. Now I'm focusing inward. Figuring out what it is I want and going after it. Not dating is so peaceful 😭😭
Also ,My biological father was gay and when in 1973 ,six years after I came out to both f my parents ,I found out that he was gay and had been cheating on my mother with other during the entire time that he was married to my mother. He never embraced me as his gay son and tried to give me guidance ,thus he never really loved me . I received wisdom .love ,and guidance from my very first old black man ,who was my one and only soulmate and even though I have not seen him since 1983 and he is now deceased ,his love and wisdom still is with me today I don't know if I was fortunate or unfortunate to have a soulmate when I was 19 years old and he was 32 years old ,but no one black or white has filled and captured my essence since then.
No one is perfect. I have learned to live and let live. There is a lot of hate, shallow, shade, envy, and ignorance in the community, BUT we shouldn't lower our standards because of other people. Forget about unrealistics expectations, about Instagram fake life, and Fear of Missing Out. Focus on ignoring those bad frogs and focus on your self esteem and what works for you and your future.
Thank you for the GREAT advice and the self reflection in our community. We unfortunately live in a society that values/admires sexual powress, material possessions, and celebrity over actual character. Then we wonder why Trump won the presidency in 2016. I have always said that you should be the person you would like to date. It is very difficult for us all and your message here is universal Sam. It is difficult to find someone to go on a date with and it's like most people don't have the slightest clue of what a date is. It doesn't have to be anything fancy nor expensive. A simple walk in the park, going for ice cream or coffee should be enough. I'm a traditional type of girl, and people think it's an act. Mind you, I've paid my house off, have a career, can cook, clean, work out, on top of being financially and emotionally stable. Yet men think I'm fake. It is hard for us all.
Wow, this spoke volumes to me. I’m the same way. I come with all of these same qualities and attributes that would make me desirable, however, because of how simple I am, many men find it alarming. I’ve come to the conclusion that this may be a projection of their own insecurities of not having these qualities and traits that would be suitable and marketable for a relationship/marriage. They have to then assassinate your character development in an effort to make themselves feel more valuable. It’s a sad manipulation mechanism really; but it’s reality.
I have found that the best of men and women (white black, straight or gay), love an ethical, confident, humble and ambitious man (or women). I believe that as a gay black man, we should always be at our best and yet stop and help another gay brother along. Although for many black gay older men, it's often lonely but they keep their integrity and self worth. Black people have had it rough since the beginning of time and even more for Black gay men. We have been hard pressed from every community, from every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, abandoned but not forgotten and struck down but not destroyed. However so, we will keep the faith, stand the tests and finish the race.
What I’m tired about the gay world is everybody saying they want somebody and looking for a long term relationship. But find out they don’t mean that and want to stay single and play the field. And many of the men I meet that want me have someone at home and I’m like what and why you talking to me?! So sadly the reason so many act like this is bc that’s the majority of the gay scene black or not. So maybe they wanted to be with one man, but realized that not it works and just went along with everyone else to not stick out. Bottom line is there’s a lot of takers and the game seems like get all you can get and and give very little. I feel like when I meet new ppl. and share some of my views, it’s almost like a automatic way to say goodbye to them. Nowadays, it’s really hard to be truthful bc no one wants to hear it. Being fake gets more action and more exciting for folks.
You are absoluteley beautiful..i love your confident tone of communication. You are attentive..i love your eyes..so intense and full of vigour and energy..yout teeth are glowing ..that tells me you are indeed a sensitive..loveley..human being..God bless you. ❤😮
Great video as usual. I'm on the fluffier side but wasn't always this way. I used to go to the gym and even when I was muscular I still ran into the same bs. Nobody really wanted to "date". its kind of hard dating someone when you have no experience in it. I think with us black men is our only understanding of what dating is is from the prospective of straight couples. Even straight people ask who is the man and who is the woman in a gay male relationship which is crazy! I also feel that we didn't have the luxury to pick and choose guys when were younger and date freely because being gay is still frown upon and even gays struggle with being gay! its a mess. I think why is hard in cities like Chicago and Atlanta because black gays think its a plentiful amount of men that they can choose from not realizing that for sex yes, but not for commitment. I find it even harder now with the apps because its just a meat market lol. too many options leaves no options in my opinion.
Just read your response to a comment I made to someone .. Thanks for looking out for me. When I read it, initially, I thought solidarity but I had no clue of the backdrop....
You will find one that doesn't. Forget about the players, and focus on being your best version. In a world with so many interesting people, the right one will gravitate because of your resonance with each other.
"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting" --Shakespeare Great video and points but one question why are there all these single guys not finding one another? Maybe gay men, in general, are poor at negotiating a deal with a guy. Idk just a thought.
Dating is just going downhill more and more. It seem like if you actually are looking for something serious, that’s rare because it’s so early to hookup. I understand the hookup part because it’s exciting BUT you don’t want to waste your youthfulness screwing around and then so happen decide to get serious when your old, sick and no one checking for you.
It's sad I use to be 400lb been big all my life, now 270lb guys still pay me dust. They say I'm cute, but would look better if I was skinny.....im over it, tired of trying to find someone who appreciate me for me. I just think romance wasn't meant for me in this life, so yeah just had to come to terms with probably being alone for the rest of my life, because im not finna go above and beyond for someone to want me.....even the other big dudes don't pay me any attention smh lol.
I used to weight 210 and now am at 168. It surprises me the amount of people that pay attention now because it is a somewhat superficial attention, but don't let that stop you. There are always people that see beyond one's apparent imperfections and that fall in love with those flaws.
I see a lot of comments here on race with information that is not true. You can date a person from another race and feel complete or incomplete. I divorced from a 3 year relationship with a black man due to him being closeted and married for 10 years. Then, I started dating again and broke up 5 years ago with a white man on my 2nd relationship because he was insecure, irresponsible, and started using drugs and having sex without protection. I am clean, going to college and now finishing my degree while they are dealing with their bad decisions and I still pray for them. While I did have fun in the beginning but wasn't happy at the end, I still love myself, my life as a single gay man 💅, and loving those experiences, and the new adventures waiting for me. That still didn't make my race better or worse. Even though some people might be seen as more privileged due to their race, society norms tend to make this process unequal, yet love knows no gender, no race, and no bounds, yet as humans we do have preferences. Hormones kick in with your blood type and don't ask you what color you are. It is about what we make of it and how we deal with our self esteem. I am happy for these past 2 experiences and ready to tackle the next level, and dating new people. I am looking beyond tall, dark, and handsome. Dating in the gay community is hard, with fewer good options, but not impossible.
We BLACK women are SUPER sad that you handsome Black men do NOT want us!!!! First we have to compete with non black, mixed women, NOW we have to add gay and trans women. Damn!!! What's a sista to do????
I hear u on this comment. But, its not a matter of us not wanting you. For a lot of us, if we could pick who we are attracted to, it would be woman, simply because family/society gave us a hard time coming up. Its not easy being your true, authentic self. To say we don’t want y’all is basically saying we chose this and we didn’t. This is simply us being ourselves and we all have to respect and love one another at the end of the day.
Well, thanks for hearing bro!!!! Cause it LOOKS LIKE US SISTAs are in BIG TROUBLE!!! Our population will be dwindling for sure. You guys enjoy yourselves and love in your TRUTH!!!!
Mind your business? There are plenty of attractive straight black men that do probably want you. Its just not gay men. Why does it have to be a personal attack on you?
There are statistics on the rates of acceptance rate per race on dating apps. Asian men and Black Women have it tough overall and stereotypes have a lot to do with it. I wouldn't give up just yet. Despite what the census and the numbers say, your destiny is written. God will work in your favor, but on his time. Do not lose faith 🙏 .
Well said I wanted to see other dating happenings in the Lgbtq community Might be slightly different but same, I Guess Anyway I was dating in late 90's early 2000's too Lol I was in High School Arena Club Hollywood Haha You were very much on Point Let's see what happens in the next 5 years because for now dating is just like this Video. Chao
I have a question my question is that always wanted to be perfect of this perfect Community to be loved and accepted to have the perfect body in the perfect image sometimes I just feel like that I'm not good enough can my own lgbtq black community make me feel that way?
I think that the community has unrealistic standards of what it finds and calls "attractive" and I think that its easy to fall in the trap of feeling that way about yourself if you don't take the time to accept yourself for who you are and improve the things that you can for yourself. It can be a huge challenge for many black gay men.
Or maybe it just that with other communities we're not under scrutiny for everything? Homophobia is pretty standard in the black community and the way I'm approached by many black gay men is wildly disrespectful and often time offensive.
AWESOME SAMPSON! I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL BROTHER! I LOVE THE PROFILES ON BLACK GAY LOVE! LOVE YOUR CONTENT AND STORY LINE! KEEP IT COMING! I SUPPORT YOU 💯 PERCENT!!!!✌️✌️🤘🤘🤘
I am lucky to not live in a very big city and I have found a really good man who happens to be white. I won't put up with that type of culture you are talking about I would rather die alone than try and make myself look and be what those guys want. Thank God I have a good self esteem and wouldn't put up with any foolishness.
I feel my biggest problem is I really really really find value in finding another black man. However, I find a lot of the black men in my area (the LA area) aren’t really looking for other black dudes. I really really really see myself with another black man. Like that’s really important to me nothing wrong with other black guys who don’t see the importance like I do. But for me I really want to be seen with another black man. It’s hard like really hard. Especially in the city.
I didn't know I needed to hear this but boyhowdy did I need to hear this. I feel all alone in these gay streets tryna be monogamous and build a lasting relationship with dudes who really don't want to get me. So I have been working on me. And my happiness. Thank you for this, for affirming my inner thoughts.
best thing you can do for yourself really. when people sense confidence they’re drawn to you automatically.
Yeah... I am often tolf i am too confident
Wow I totally get what you're saying. I'm in a particular place in my life where I'm working on myself so that when the right one comes along I will be prepared and ready to move forward
Another point you should mention is to not force yourself on anyone. If you've expressed interest in someone and the interest is not reciprocated, don't waste your time by continuously messaging or approaching them with the hope that you would change their minds about you.
When you said “eating a**” I laughed out loud. Love this video
You light skinned niggas r so cute
❤❤❤❤
Also a lot of black gay men prefer to date interracially. Nowadays when you see a beautiful and educated black man you gotta sit back and wonder “....does he even like other black men?”
I don't think there's nothing wrong with dating interracially, i thought we are supposed to be a community that's about progression, equality, and acceptance. I think people now adays are just more open minded and not racist or prejudices towards other cultures but however i do know the type of people your talking about the people that think dating a lighter skin person will make them feel higher we don't need that either.
I was accused of only dating men who are not Black. The demographics was my "reason". I've done inner examination and discovered internalized negrophobia and a host of things I'm carrying. Not to mention, as Black men who are interested in being with another Black man, we have to deal with the spectrum of phobias Black people have globally.
@@DJCroft True. Dating people from different countries should be an experience, not an ego boost or subject to discrimination. Most find love in a hopeless place. The difference lies in what we do to develop new hope.
I am black and I’m very open to dating interracially. I am attracted to all men regardless of their race. But yes some people do dates outside of their race as some kind of status symbol. My thing is if you accept me as I am, I don’t care about your race.
I would suggest keeping your options open and look for someone with similar goals. Stop being so enamored with their physical traits. Physical attraction is very important but it’s not everything, it’s a part of it.
Yes!! Thanks bro... this is good!!! Its one of the reasons I no longer date. I have learned the joy of being single. Single is not a social disease or stigma but rather it is an opportunity for me to watch and learn. At 39, I would rather be single than to deal with the foolery of dating. As I grow older, I have discovered that solitude is golden!!! Although there's no love im my life, my house is peaceful, my adventures are amazing, and a "table for one" is just fine"
I'm 39 also and I can totally agree with the solitude is golden! and being observant. Anytime I feel like I'm missing out I scroll down twitter and see that people in these perfect relationships be drama filled! do I want someone to hold at night? yes, but do I want drama no!
@@cota9655 Omg!!! We are definitely on the same page. Yes ...im taking my time and hopefully I'll find the right one if not well...i'm good.
@@Croix98101 what sucks is that i was ready to actually go out where black men congregated but then the pandemic happened now im definitely a homebody lol. oh welp used this time to upgrade so when the world reopens i can be ready to mingle lol.
It saddens me to see so many blk gay men give up on love bc our straight counterparts dont seem to as much
🖒
Looooved the opening and was HOLLERING at the thought of relatives sitting us down as teens and spilling the real tea....so true though. 🤣🤣 They know they've had some experiences they taking to the grave. As a black gay knockin' on 50s door, fortunately these have not been my problems. I know what I bring to the table and truly am prepared to dine alone at the first hint of usery, finnesery, bamboozlement or hoodwinkery! By this age you've been around the block 'several many' times and know how it is in these skreets. I can play real naive and clueless when I want to, and all the while 5 steps ahead of the shananigans people try to pull.
Sampson,
I used to do so much for these dudes, and got not much in return. I have learned be myself, and enjoy the dates you get!
Love From Orlando
You dont know how much I needed to hear this video...thank you so much for posting this
This is very relevant my brother and needful, as a late bloomer entering the community was almost tragic. However, thanks to people like yourself, you have left a footprint for us... Thanks 😊
When we meet somebody to whom we are attracted, it's so easy to have expectations, whether they are reasonable or not. Years ago, I read an interview with Fritz Perls who said "I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine... And if, by chance, we find each other, it's beautiful."
This was so insightful. Thank you for sharing this. Two years in DC and you are so right there is this box that I’m not able to fit into and I thought I was the problem but come to think of it, I don’t belong in a box. I’m fine by myself. Thank you so much for this
Sampson thanks for sharing this … This video is everything & I couldn’t agree more we rarely have any positive role models in the gay community. And I’ve taken the time to work on Stephen an find happiness within myself I’m not looking for a relationship at all. I’ve been thru too much with guys in the past & currently healing from past trauma.Mostly all these guys want is sex,sex,sex. I’m looking to be in a monogamous relationship but right now just waiting patiently an focusing on myself. I know I’m attractive & can get any man I want but I’ve learned that sometimes looks isn’t it. Most guys nowadays can come disguised as an angel but really be demons. Ppl need to take the time to get to know people before jumping into relationships.
I know exactly what you mean. Glad you're working on YOU!
@@sampsonmccormick Yessir . Hope all is well!
I have a tip from J Krishnamurti...."The moment you follow a Man/Woman is the moment you cease to Follow Truth" so Greatly agree when you say Learn and Love yoself....Stop in the name of Truth...placing your Joy in others' hands 💯
This is so TRUTHFUL and BEAUTIFULLY presented.
The tea is hot, great advice. Preach
Great video. What I do like about the apps is the ability to weed out a lot of people who right off the bat you know aren't right for you. I also like many people I would rush to try and lock a 'good' man bc something kept telling me there was a shortage. Then I'd end up with the wrong 'good' man who want right for me. Enjoy getting to know a person over time is a personal goal that I trying to foster.
I hear you.
Same regurgitated advice as always: be yourself, love yourself, have confidence lol etc etc you know these things never work right? I know because I've been doing that and you don't really attract anyone. In fact I think it scares people away. Lol
Hmm, in my opinion, it is always be great to be genuine and to be single, than to be fake and to be surrounded by leeches. You have peace and love that no one can bother. True compromise with your polar opposite takes courage and consistency.
@@ramirez02727 I think ppl put to much faith into this thing called "love" and I doubt ppl know what love really is. Everyone is SCARED of ending up old and alone that's why they are so invested into this race of finding a "partner" competition because , according to media , " being single is bad " or " being alone is sad". And when they fail at this relationships competition, it creates a never ending circle of sadness and toxicity. media like movies or "dating apps" warped peoples definitions of happiness and relationships so bad.
Great video and very great advice. People are out to seek perfection which does not exist....
I was one of those gay guys who just was open perhaps too much and I would spend money on guys who I thought were interested in me but they didn’t want me. I felt ugly cuz I was skinny and dark skinned. I didn’t have a fat ass, I take the bus an I’m a dishwasher making $12 an hour. I hated myself for a long time I asked god why he make me like this?
@George Shankar and in 2019 I won a king who’s wonderful an caring 2 years later we goin strong he’s my best freind, he’s amazing an he tells me I’m sexy
@@boni_traxton9436 good for you bro. 👍🏼
And I bet you anything that you are more beautiful than you think of yourself. Its always the best looking guys that think of themselves this way. I hope you found the happiness you were searching for. ❤ u brother ❤
@@RafaelNogueras-e6j wow I forgot my comment existed on here 💀 time really flies
But major life update: I have my own small business now and it’s doing good, it’s in its 2nd year! I have a 2021 Honda which is a major upgrade for me I started out with a 96 ford Taurus 💀 me and my babe we are working thru life an it’s almost 5 years for us. Do I still have some major insecurities yes I do, rn what’s getting to me is the fact I’m 30 almost an I don’t have much of a social life, I see the other gays an they are out a lot, lots of freinds in THIER corner an sometimes I wish I had that life
@@RafaelNogueras-e6j I appreciate that I really do
I have my own car now, and have a small business, I think I’m doing okay now
Thanks for this video because I was having a hard time finding a date.
Sampson you gave the best advice with “be your best self for you and no one else.” I feel like if you invest into yourself then the men who you really deserve will eventually follow.
Sampson....you said that Brotha....They Don't deserve You... 💞 keep sharing Truth 💯
Fat phobia is one of the main issues why a lot of gay guys are single. I see soo many beautiful fat gay men that brings everything to the table, have wonderful personalities, and are looking for long term relationships but gay men are too shallow to look past their weight and actually get to know them for who they are.
I DONT HAVE FAT PHOBIA IM TIRED OF THE ONES THINKING IM MIXED AND THEN GETTING WEIRD WHEN THEY MEET ME LOL AND SEEING IM NOT
i totally agree with you. however, to go a little deeper, do you think those fat gays themselves are also fat phobic? because at the end of the day they could boo up with other fat gays so nobody would be left out.. just an observation i guess
@@distantnative2478 girl lol I see a hit dog will holler! You don’t have to like or date fat people that’s YOUR loss but you will respect them! Judging from your picture you ain’t nothing special to look at anyways soooo NEXT CASE💁🏾♂️.
girl im skinny nd still can’t find one
Fat dudes are the best in bed and cozy to cuddle and they can cook and have real food in the fridge and you have to go to the gym
Hello Sampson, thank you for your advices, for your empathy. You have a good heart. Well, i am not black, but the"love", and the experiences on the way for beeing loved by your self or for beeing loved by a another man -black or white- are for sure compareable. All the best to you and hopefully you are going to find your "loveliest comrade for life". Simon
I’m about to run. Talking about it would affirm us and it would affirm themselves.
To be honest because of my poor dating life I’ve started to question is it because of my dark skin? Not being masculine, with a six pack, and being smart. I try to watch what I eat, always try to be presentable, and smile. It’s so much pressure too the point that I now think is the curse for being gay..
I hate being ugly and insecure!! Ugh
Sis you aren't ugly, you're a house boy. Meaning you sit in the house while an older wealthy White man takes care of you. Ain't no Rayheim about to marry you.
@@martonyomchale342 period
WAAAAAAAAAT?????!!!
Did I read the word ugly?
The fact is, you need to build the confidence through desire. People go for it with confidence when they DESIRE a lot. Try and preserve that inner tension of yours through self control and a positive outlook.
@@joaov.m.oliveira9903 yikes... Yeaaaa... That part
Sampson, thank you for this conversation opener.
I feel like this advice is great in general, I'm latino and I feel like I've related to many things you talked about
I’m glad you said this, these gay apps have become the pitfall of our community🫨😔
Great video Sampson!
I like you
Such refreshing advice..u get it Sam...
I really needed to hear this I deal with this all the time. You have good sound advice.
I haven't been single for that long (2 years) but I generally did not have a good experience dating. Now I'm focusing inward. Figuring out what it is I want and going after it. Not dating is so peaceful 😭😭
This video gives me life! So so on point.
I’m not black but still great advise for the community. Thank you.
Thank You!!!! God Bless you!!!! You speaking the truth.
Thank you for this Sampson!
Also ,My biological father was gay and when in 1973 ,six years after I came out to both f my parents ,I found out that he was gay and had been cheating on my mother with other during the entire time that he was married to my mother.
He never embraced me as his gay son and tried to give me guidance ,thus he never really loved me .
I received wisdom .love ,and guidance from my very first old black man ,who was my one and only soulmate and even though I have not seen him since 1983 and he is now deceased ,his love and wisdom still is with me today
I don't know if I was fortunate or unfortunate to have a soulmate when I was 19 years old and he was 32 years old ,but no one black or white has filled and captured my essence since then.
If I could like this video five times. Thank you!
No one is perfect. I have learned to live and let live. There is a lot of hate, shallow, shade, envy, and ignorance in the community, BUT we shouldn't lower our standards because of other people. Forget about unrealistics expectations, about Instagram fake life, and Fear of Missing Out. Focus on ignoring those bad frogs and focus on your self esteem and what works for you and your future.
I really needed this vid
This was so timely.
Thank you for the GREAT advice and the self reflection in our community. We unfortunately live in a society that values/admires sexual powress, material possessions, and celebrity over actual character. Then we wonder why Trump won the presidency in 2016. I have always said that you should be the person you would like to date. It is very difficult for us all and your message here is universal Sam. It is difficult to find someone to go on a date with and it's like most people don't have the slightest clue of what a date is. It doesn't have to be anything fancy nor expensive. A simple walk in the park, going for ice cream or coffee should be enough. I'm a traditional type of girl, and people think it's an act. Mind you, I've paid my house off, have a career, can cook, clean, work out, on top of being financially and emotionally stable. Yet men think I'm fake. It is hard for us all.
Wow, this spoke volumes to me. I’m the same way. I come with all of these same qualities and attributes that would make me desirable, however, because of how simple I am, many men find it alarming. I’ve come to the conclusion that this may be a projection of their own insecurities of not having these qualities and traits that would be suitable and marketable for a relationship/marriage. They have to then assassinate your character development in an effort to make themselves feel more valuable. It’s a sad manipulation mechanism really; but it’s reality.
Thank you!!! I needed this!!!
Amen my brother!
Loved it’
Well said!!!
I have found that the best of men and women (white black, straight or gay), love an ethical, confident, humble and ambitious man (or women). I believe that as a gay black man, we should always be at our best and yet stop and help another gay brother along. Although for many black gay older men, it's often lonely but they keep their integrity and self worth. Black people have had it rough since the beginning of time and even more for Black gay men. We have been hard pressed from every community, from every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, abandoned but not forgotten and struck down but not destroyed. However so, we will keep the faith, stand the tests and finish the race.
You make a lot of sense. Thanks.
Geat talk!
It's not just black gay men. It's ALL gay men.
What I’m tired about the gay world is everybody saying they want somebody and looking for a long term relationship. But find out they don’t mean that and want to stay single and play the field. And many of the men I meet that want me have someone at home and I’m like what and why you talking to me?!
So sadly the reason so many act like this is bc that’s the majority of the gay scene black or not. So maybe they wanted to be with one man, but realized that not it works and just went along with everyone else to not stick out.
Bottom line is there’s a lot of takers and the game seems like get all you can get and and give very little. I feel like when I meet new ppl. and share some of my views, it’s almost like a automatic way to say goodbye to them.
Nowadays, it’s really hard to be truthful bc no one wants to hear it. Being fake gets more action and more exciting for folks.
You are absoluteley beautiful..i love your confident tone of communication.
You are attentive..i love your eyes..so intense and full of vigour and energy..yout teeth are glowing ..that tells me you are indeed a sensitive..loveley..human being..God bless you. ❤😮
Great video as usual. I'm on the fluffier side but wasn't always this way. I used to go to the gym and even when I was muscular I still ran into the same bs. Nobody really wanted to "date". its kind of hard dating someone when you have no experience in it. I think with us black men is our only understanding of what dating is is from the prospective of straight couples. Even straight people ask who is the man and who is the woman in a gay male relationship which is crazy! I also feel that we didn't have the luxury to pick and choose guys when were younger and date freely because being gay is still frown upon and even gays struggle with being gay! its a mess. I think why is hard in cities like Chicago and Atlanta because black gays think its a plentiful amount of men that they can choose from not realizing that for sex yes, but not for commitment. I find it even harder now with the apps because its just a meat market lol. too many options leaves no options in my opinion.
Just read your response to a comment I made to someone .. Thanks for looking out for me. When I read it, initially, I thought solidarity but I had no clue of the backdrop....
@@Croix98101 yeah he fooled me too. i guess its true you cant help everybody
So true!!!
Your skin ❤️
Thank you 🙏🏾
Every time I try to date a black dude he pushes me aside for a white dude .
You will find one that doesn't. Forget about the players, and focus on being your best version. In a world with so many interesting people, the right one will gravitate because of your resonance with each other.
"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting" --Shakespeare
Great video and points but one question why are there all these single guys not finding one another? Maybe gay men, in general, are poor at negotiating a deal with a guy. Idk just a thought.
SPEAK!!!!!💯💯💯💯
🍿✨⚡️💙🧡🧡 Fantastic video/wisdom 🏳️🌈🌎🇺🇸From Chicago south side ✝️ Thank you for sharing your truth 💛 You help me become a better person 💜
Oh Mary Jesus and Joseph!!! I would HOPE my parents and grandparents have ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE of such relations. Oh Lawd!!!!
Thanks
Dating is just going downhill more and more. It seem like if you actually are looking for something serious, that’s rare because it’s so early to hookup. I understand the hookup part because it’s exciting BUT you don’t want to waste your youthfulness screwing around and then so happen decide to get serious when your old, sick and no one checking for you.
It's sad I use to be 400lb been big all my life, now 270lb guys still pay me dust. They say I'm cute, but would look better if I was skinny.....im over it, tired of trying to find someone who appreciate me for me. I just think romance wasn't meant for me in this life, so yeah just had to come to terms with probably being alone for the rest of my life, because im not finna go above and beyond for someone to want me.....even the other big dudes don't pay me any attention smh lol.
I LIKE YOU I WEIGH 180LBS LOL TONE
I used to weight 210 and now am at 168. It surprises me the amount of people that pay attention now because it is a somewhat superficial attention, but don't let that stop you. There are always people that see beyond one's apparent imperfections and that fall in love with those flaws.
Atlanta is not a large city. The Metro Area is huge!!!
Shallow is the word.
Well time to try dating women. I am not going to live me life alone, I pray I can force it
that sounds awful. LOL
I see a lot of comments here on race with information that is not true. You can date a person from another race and feel complete or incomplete. I divorced from a 3 year relationship with a black man due to him being closeted and married for 10 years. Then, I started dating again and broke up 5 years ago with a white man on my 2nd relationship because he was insecure, irresponsible, and started using drugs and having sex without protection. I am clean, going to college and now finishing my degree while they are dealing with their bad decisions and I still pray for them. While I did have fun in the beginning but wasn't happy at the end, I still love myself, my life as a single gay man 💅, and loving those experiences, and the new adventures waiting for me. That still didn't make my race better or worse. Even though some people might be seen as more privileged due to their race, society norms tend to make this process unequal, yet love knows no gender, no race, and no bounds, yet as humans we do have preferences. Hormones kick in with your blood type and don't ask you what color you are. It is about what we make of it and how we deal with our self esteem. I am happy for these past 2 experiences and ready to tackle the next level, and dating new people. I am looking beyond tall, dark, and handsome. Dating in the gay community is hard, with fewer good options, but not impossible.
We BLACK women are SUPER sad that you handsome Black men do NOT want us!!!! First we have to compete with non black, mixed women, NOW we have to add gay and trans women. Damn!!! What's a sista to do????
it’s tough out there sis. it’s a free for all and i’m speaking as a non black gay
I hear u on this comment. But, its not a matter of us not wanting you. For a lot of us, if we could pick who we are attracted to, it would be woman, simply because family/society gave us a hard time coming up. Its not easy being your true, authentic self. To say we don’t want y’all is basically saying we chose this and we didn’t. This is simply us being ourselves and we all have to respect and love one another at the end of the day.
Well, thanks for hearing bro!!!! Cause it LOOKS LIKE US SISTAs are in BIG TROUBLE!!! Our population will be dwindling for sure. You guys enjoy yourselves and love in your TRUTH!!!!
Mind your business? There are plenty of attractive straight black men that do probably want you. Its just not gay men. Why does it have to be a personal attack on you?
There are statistics on the rates of acceptance rate per race on dating apps. Asian men and Black Women have it tough overall and stereotypes have a lot to do with it. I wouldn't give up just yet. Despite what the census and the numbers say, your destiny is written. God will work in your favor, but on his time. Do not lose faith 🙏 .
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Is there such a thing?
My dream is to find another handsome black gay man to be my husband. I love black love I want it so much
Well said
I wanted to see other dating happenings in the Lgbtq community
Might be slightly different but same, I Guess
Anyway
I was dating in late 90's early 2000's too
Lol
I was in High School
Arena Club Hollywood
Haha
You were very much on Point
Let's see what happens in the next 5 years because for now dating is just like this Video.
Chao
THEY👏🏾 DONT 👏🏾DESERVE 👏🏾ME 👏🏾
But I need love too 🥺
Sensitiveley i say to you i am a white man in south africa..though we have rights..interacial dateing is still frowned upon
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
It’s my reality
Wen der er ein guter Freund ist warum nicht ich kan kein englisch sondern nur deutsch ok
I have a question my question is that always wanted to be perfect of this perfect Community to be loved and accepted to have the perfect body in the perfect image sometimes I just feel like that I'm not good enough can my own lgbtq black community make me feel that way?
I think that the community has unrealistic standards of what it finds and calls "attractive" and I think that its easy to fall in the trap of feeling that way about yourself if you don't take the time to accept yourself for who you are and improve the things that you can for yourself. It can be a huge challenge for many black gay men.
I FEEL THIS WAY TOO THERE IS A BAD PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT THAT IS JUST SICK AND IM TIRED OF IT PEOPLE NEED TO GROW UP
Guess i will be doing other things. Lol
All my black gay friends are married to white guys. Why is that?
It could be for a variety of reasons. (location, preference, etc.) who knows? I hope they are genuinely happy.
SELF HATRED THEY WILL NEVER SAY IT BUT THATS WHAT IT IS
Or maybe it just that with other communities we're not under scrutiny for everything? Homophobia is pretty standard in the black community and the way I'm approached by many black gay men is wildly disrespectful and often time offensive.
Such an UNSANITARY activity. Idk bro
U seem like a very nice person, but this is too much for me.
AWESOME SAMPSON! I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL BROTHER! I LOVE THE PROFILES ON BLACK GAY LOVE! LOVE YOUR CONTENT AND STORY LINE! KEEP IT COMING! I SUPPORT YOU 💯 PERCENT!!!!✌️✌️🤘🤘🤘
I am lucky to not live in a very big city and I have found a really good man who happens to be white. I won't put up with that type of culture you are talking about I would rather die alone than try and make myself look and be what those guys want. Thank God I have a good self esteem and wouldn't put up with any foolishness.
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