@@thedeck-buildingdemon8293 my car doors don’t lock on their own and why would I need to lock them anyway? I don’t have kids and I don’t live in the city. It’s not like I’m gonna open the door when I’m driving. The amount of time I spent stopped while driving is less than 5 minutes on any given “trip.” And by trip I just mean point A to B. Real life ain’t GTA.
honestly props to the actress who played the mom bc i’ve never felt the need to just deck a darh mann villain in the face as much as i’ve wanted to for this lady. like she’s pure evil
YEAH LIKE I FELT THE NEED TO GO OFF AND I HAD TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF SHE'S ACTING IN A DHAR MANN VIDEO I HOPE SHE GOT PAID WELL FOR THAT PERFORMANCE CAUSE HOLY SHIT
@@Rex-golf_player810 I do love that she managed to give ALL the racism energy and direct it at another white person. I was immediately picking up on that vibe even before Jarvis mentioned it, and I am also white. If she was in a better filmed and paced movie where she lived in a sunset town or something, I would probably have to walk out because of how much my skin would crawl.
I mean, to be fair, Ruby is an 18-year-old who has been living with an addict mother for at least a year, so it makes sense that she wouldn't have the emotional maturity to sort out how addiction works and would have a very strong reaction to the idea that she, too, could end up addicted, but that's a level of emotional complexity not usually found in Dhar Mann's protagonists.
Oh yeah, let’s let her walk home. Granting her large amounts of unsupervised freedom. Where she could be meeting anyone and doing anything. That will solve her drug problem
Y'know, despite the stepmom having her whole "I was wrong" moment, we never see Ruby say that she forgives her or any indication that she feels more positively towards her besides being willing to play card games with her. For my own peace of mind, I'm going to headcanon that Ruby just passively tolerates her evil stepmom and is going to put distance between them as soon as she's able to, because honestly the stepmom has not done enough to earn forgiveness and we saw with the piercing fake-out at the end that she is still the same judgmental person she always was.
Also, it's telling that it was only after Ruby helped her stepmom's daughter with her grades that she had that supposed "I was wrong" moment. As if Ruby needed to sufficiently prove she was a good person in order to not be degraded and insulted at every turn by her stepmom.
"turns out, Ruby's in advanced calculus" She's several years older than you, she could be failing her classes and she could still probably help get your grades up.
so if ruby had been a poor student and a drug user, is the implication that the mom's bigotry would have been justified? because i think Ruby's line about how she would NEVER do drugs says a lot about how Dhar Mann views drug users. additionally, the fact that NONE of these characters stand up for themselves is INFURIATING along with the fact that the mother essentially faces no consequences for her abusive behavior. saying sorry doesn't erase the trauma that she's inflicted
Yeah Dhar misses the entire nuance of drug addiction. Addicts are also not terrible people, but individuals who need guidance. It’s sad that Dhar portrays it as he does.
I like the evolution from "don't mistreat someone because they might be rich" to "don't mistreat someone because they might be good at algebra and help your child with their homework". So inspirational. 🙌
36:00 I think it’s not trying to belittle ppl with drug issues, i think because she’s seen that addiction ruined her life and her mom’s life, she feels particularly frustrated with being accused of that triggering thing, it seems like he was trying to create a traumatized character, and to make it especially cruel for the mom was accusing the daughter of something that made the daughter suffer. Its kinda handled poorly by dharr mann, but thsi is just my interpretation
I love how when Jarvis said "why are they all wearing pink??" the entire chat just erupted in "BECAUSE IT'S WEDNESDAY" 😭 they're just like me fr LMAOOO
@@lacey892 Ugh right? Like wipe me off the face of the planet. The latter and the emoji is seriously how I feel with Dhar Mann videos. I can only handle watching with Jarvis and him turning it into a fun game. Because without that my frustration with Dhar Mann and how badly he handles the moral is astronomical.
my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer (he’s been cancer free since november though!!), after his jaw reconstruction surgery he was prescribed opioids for the pain, and it was all given by doctors through an iv since he was in hospital for abt 2.5 weeks recovering, but his body ended up getting addicted and he went through withdrawals. it was honestly one of the hardest parts of his treatment to watch. he’s only ten and was already going through drug withdrawals. anyways he’s slaying now
I was diagnosed with lymphoma August 2020. Also, pretty similar to your younger brother, I’m gonna be cancer free this November! I find these types of comments interesting so I hope I didn’t bother you or anything.
The phrase “Anyway he’s slaying now” is so funny to me idk why, but I’m so happy that you’re brother is doing better. That’s a very hard thing to go through for the whole family
When I look at her, I was so fucking blessed of her outfit. She looks so adorable. Why hating her the way she looks? At least her fashion is better than the mom
Seriously! I would NEVER let anyone treat my kid that way! I would go to war for my kid and then I would still leave their ass because now I know I can't trust them!
My stepmom literally treated me the same way when I was growing up. When I turned 18 she made my dad kick me out. She admitted to me years later that she never wanted to raise me because she had her own daughter and two girls was too much for her. She said she even purposely let my cats out so they would run away. She was so sure I would end up doing drugs or getting pregnant. I’m thriving now with a college degree, a husband, my own house, two cars, and I just had a baby.
jfc she did all that hoping that'd you'd get into drugs or pregnant? that's so sick, wishing so much harm on someone ): good to know you're doing well now
Why not just marry someone with no kids if you don't want any (more)??? Is it that crazy of an idea? I'm sorry that happened, but I'm glad you're doing well now
The moral is: It IS okay to judge a book by it's cover, unless she's got a drug addicted mother, A grades and is able tp protect your own real daughter.
@@adambomb1553, definitely the math. The mom wasn’t convinced by the drug addiction. It was the math tutored that got her to figure it out. The comparison someone else made to Rudolph was spot on.
It also sucks bc it implies that goth, emo people have to have either some tragic backstory or reasoning for looking like that or be an actual bad influence. Like, what if I just like the style?What if I just like how it looks? If she would have been just an average kid,without being good at math or without having a sad story then she wouldn't deserve basic humane respect?
Plus the fact that realistically, people don't usually go out of their way to pick a certain fashion style just because of what they've been through. My whole household (Mum, Dad and I) all suffer from various mental illnesses and what do we wear? Clothes that we like!
That’s exactly as i thought. As a goth woman, the part where the dad says his daughter is dressed like that because of struggles is very ignorant. Goth fashion is music based, it’s not something that you can just put on seasonally to say that your life sucks. I’m not shocked that Dhar doesn’t do basic research on goth subculture.
As a goth trans girl it's so funny seeing someone get so worked up at such a tame portrayal of a goth If that mom ever saw a pentagram or literally anything with chains on it I think she'd actually explode
"Is that, a RED SYMBOL!? That has *DEMONIC* ASSOCIATIONS!? Lest we live among such horrid and devilish artwork! Thy must put a stop to such horrible things and influences! My poor innocent daughter has been inflicted by this despicable thing!" -That mom probably.
I hate Dhar Man messages, because the person getting treated like shit is always required to "prove" themself to the shitty person, rather than the shitty person facing consequences for their horrible behavior. Like, even if Ruby wasn't good at math, or whatever, she still deserves respect. It's always such a hamfisted, bottom of the barrel message.
The thing that always upsets me with these videos is how the misunderstood good guy always puts so much effort into proving that they're nice to be magically accepted in the end. They even have to go as far as to open up about deeply traumatizing events to someone who clearly hates them, and it's shown as a good thing. That's a very dangerous thing to teach, because opening up to abusers is one of the worst things you can do in these situations.
not to defend dhar mann wardrobe choices or anything, but the goth girl's outfits look completely fine to me in the context that she very recently became goth and is only starting out with building her closet and finding her fashion sense. especially the second outfit she was wearing at school, which is completely fine for a gothy school outfit. like ... her fits are fine considering she is probably a fresh baby bat lmao.
Same! I think it's the cowardice and how enablers and "on the fence" ppl are acc normally the ones who keep these situations alive. An abuser/bigot without that back up would be powerless in this situation. He recognises it's wrong but doesn't want to make things too difficult for himself.
One of my least favorite Dhar Mann Universe bits is the idea that the children should be solving these issues. This was on the dad IMO. I agree about him being a pushover causing harm to both kids.
Yeah, this episode was hard for me to sit through just because of how disgusting the 'mom' was being, and how utterly useless the dad was being in mediating and minimizing damage to his daughter. Maybe I've read a couple too many AITA posts, but it's always so sickening to me when a parent seems to just be allowing (or even worse, enabling) the other to abuse and steamroll their children.
I know this is like a thing, of parents choosing their new partner over their kid but like the Dad should have been enraged that his first moment seeing his Daughter was ruined by his new wife acting like HIS DAUGHTER was a demon. Like from moment one if someone anyone calls your kid "Disgusting", idgaf who they are you should be done with that person.
imagine being the goth girl. you come to visit your dad, and your stepmom instantly hates you, doesn't let you talk to your stepsister and talks shit about you. then you get kicked out of your mom's home so you have to move in with your dad. on your new school you get bullied by some kids and your stepsis pretends she doesn't even know you. then your stepmom leaves you behind on the new city so you have to find your way home (again its a new place!) Like holy shit its all on the first day. poor girl
My moms side of the family is very conservative (excluding her), and I dress very extreme when it comes to goth and nu metal fashion and the WORST they give me is "its not Halloween" or "you're all dressed up today". this is so funny because the girl isn't even dressed extreme, if anything shes very casual. the mom would have a heart attack if she went into my closet lmao
oh i was thinking the same thing. looks like something id wear if i just absolutely could not be bothered. i dress pretty extreme too, the worst i get from my family is just that my dad doesn't like the fact that i dye my hair weird colours and wear makeup, but he doesn't bring it up much so i just ignore it lol.
FRRRR i think i dress more just. emo, right, but i know some outfits would freak her out 😭😭 spikes, chains, tall demonias, etc etc. and if ruby had trad goth makeup??? LMFAOOOOSJDBAKDHSKJ
I honestly cried when you mentioned addiction not making you bad because my parents were addicts, I told myself that wouldnt be me but as life went on and got more difficult I turned to drugs because i saw that how they used it to cope and thought that it might help me . Its refeshing to see people sympathetic towards addicts rather than straight to accusatory.
I think my biggest problem with Dhar Mann videos is that they make it seem like the person who wronged you is entitled to your forgiveness just because they appolog/learn their lesson. They're not entitled to jack shit. It's fine to not forgive someone who wrong you.
@@yuenmienyu yes! That's one of my biggest beefs with therapy. This idea that because you don't forgive your abusers, that must mean that you're never going to heal. Forgiveness is and should always be left up to the victim. Not this societal pressure that if you don't do it, you're ruining your life.
I've had that happen before and I'm a white woman, I have no idea why but they literally started to pull up and then just drove right past me and canceled the ride. I was so mad. I'd get super frustrated if that kept happening repeatedly.
@@SuzER08 same I think it is a common scam so they can be paid without actually having to do anything because I was charged a fee for "missing" my ride.
More needs to be said about the father's horrible behavior. Parents deserve love and happiness. However, it shouldn't come at the cost of their child being tormented in their own home by someone who resents/disapproves of them. Ruby's father should've called off the engagement when he discovered how cruel his fiancee was being to his daughter. Instead, he spends the whole video trying to convince his fiancee to give his daughter a chance. He even considers giving in to the fiancee's request of sending Ruby someplace else to live. If Ruby hadn't saved Harley, I'm sure she would've been cast aside. That shit causes serious long-term damage. I know firsthand.
Yes thank you. The mom pissed me off for sure, but the dad's passive behavior made me so upset. He didn't defend his daughter once in front to his fiancee. If I learned that my future spouse could be that cruel and prejudiced to my child (and over something mild like PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS no less) and with no remorse, I'd break the engagement.
I relate to the "driver leaving me behind" situation. I've had a lot of people pull away from me the moment they realize I am transgender. Not just Uber...the number of creepy (mostly older and white) guys who have pulled up to offer me a ride while waiting for the bus or walking down the street only to immediately speed away is alarming.
Ugh, honestly man bigotry and shit like that is so stupid. I'm sorry that's happened to you. But hey at least that decreases the chances of creeps coming to you, albeit it's because they're assholes who can't open their mind anymore than a click to a page on urban dictionary defining different genders and sexualities. Anyhow wishing you luck and love 🏳️⚧️❤️
Thank you for the statement that "addiction is not a moral failure." There are a lot of factors that can make someone more susceptible to addiction and substance abuse. Someone else being on drugs does not make you a better person than they are. It's heartbreaking and sickening how often people treat those who struggle with addiction as terrible people. My mother will often make awful comments about not helping homeless people "because they're probably on drugs", and it makes me so upset, because people who are on drugs still deserve just as much kindness and respect as everyone else does. (I don't have the emotional or mental stamina at the moment to get into the topic of mistreatment of the homeless right now, but it also shatters me. A quote from a song I know that I feel applies here is, "people are people, regardless of anything.") Growing up, my dad was part of the opioid epidemic, and was addicted to painkillers, and there were several factors, including preexisting mental health conditions that played a part in his addiction. But now he's off of those painkillers, and he smokes weed and he is so much healthier and better because of it! Because guess what, not all drugs are bad! Sure, there are definitely drugs that are extremely harmful, but the people who are addicted to them are not any less of a person because of their struggle, they deserve help and resources (this means more accessibility to mental health resources, to see and address what factors could be at work, not just throwing someone into rehab against their will); they don't deserve disdain and disgust. To sum it up, I'm proud of my dad, and people struggling with substance abuse deserve love and kindness. Sending love to all reading this
I get it, but I think the reason why many people don’t wanna give money to homeless people who are addicted to drugs is because they might use that money to buy more drugs rather than using it for something that will help them get better. So instead of helping them, you are inadvertently contributing to feeding their addiction more. In Sweden, pretty much anyone can get help and a home if they are struggling or homeless, but only if they agree to go to rehab if they have a drug addiction. So you kind of have to keep that in mind when you are giving money to the homeless, as they are most likely either not legal citizens or people who refuse the help they are offered
@@kimiko_ella3092 lmao they’re gonna get drugs either way, the real question is, are they gonna be able to afford to buy some food to eat, on top of the drugs they’re gonna get either way (no matter what. these are addicts we’re talking about), and also possibly whether they’re going to commit a crime to get the money for the drugs (that they’re *going to* get, for sure)… just my 2 cents as an addict who’s been clean for a year. much love fam
@@ByzantineDarkwraith Agreed. Congrats & keep on going one hour at a time. Super happy for you. PS: anyone who rationalizes not assisting their fellow humans (& being selfish to those who don't have a home? Which is a thing I've come extremely close to many times {& am facing the possibility of again} & all without any addictions but by my having ptsd from religious crap) solely based on their own misguided assumptions? I don't feel they're particularly kind • just my opinion. I appreciate you. XO
this is the angriest one of these dumb videos has ever made me. the dad not like, losing his shit at the mom for being genuinely Evil was like nails on a chalkboard for my soul
I love how the father says that Ruby's been "going through some stuff with her mom" as if you can't dress alt (as a goth I'd never call this goth lmao) just because you like it, or you're into the subculture/music. Okay, her second fit is more modern goth. Would she be allowed to come to school dressed like that tho? Also, really sorry about the uber thing Jarvis, that's absolutely unacceptable :(
It depends on the rules at the school. At my school she probably couldn’t wear it but if she changed a few thing she probably could. I’m not goth but I am punk and I do dress kinda like her sometimes. As long as you know your schools rules you know how to get around them.
@@Atlas_Quin technically no but I got away with a lot of outfits in school that I really shouldn't have, one very similar to the second outfit as well. It's not unreasonable to think, it depends on how strict the school is when it comes to enforcing dress code. In most schools, probably not, and it's a minor miracle I got away with what I did.
"""as a goth I'd never call this goth lmao""" youre being pretentious lol....this is plenty goth. idk why everyone has such a narrow view of what goth is 'allowed' to be. I knew plenty of goth people in HS that dressed just like this. I know this is a fake video with fake people but you guys are like insufferable lol.
@@wildboar67 A high schooler who looks like this but has the spirit is 100% fine, but this is a made up character for a made up story. They could've made her look wilder, with crazy hair and makeup, it would make more sense for the mom to have a bone to pick with her. But no, they chose a very safe and basic look that's barely alt and gave no explanation for it. That's just not understanding goth by the creators.
I think it's pretty realistic for someone who grew up with a parent struggling with addiction to say they'll never do drugs/drink and have a negative view of the addiction.
but in general addiction is framed as a negative trait, not just by ruby. dhar mann's contents is clearly not aimed at adults, so he should be careful when handling such sensitive topics.
As someone who comes from a long line of addicts on both sides, I can 100% say I'll never go near any of it because I've seen how badly it messes people up. I'm genetically more susceptible to addiction, one of my family members is emotionally abusive to get money for drugs, all of my biological family have been adopted (some by the same people), it can be harder to get a job, it messes up your health. I don't negatively judge anyone with an addiction, I wish they could get the help they need
Honestly, I'd prefer a druggie over a bigot any day of the week. The only friends I've left or fallen out with has been over bigotry. It's such hard work trying to be friends with a bigot and as soon as you think you manage to convince them not to be a homophobe or something like that after years of dealing with their bs they come at you with some sexism or racial prejudice instead next week. I've honestly given up on them.
Yeah... after trying to get a hs friend to understand why being racist is wrong, she came back being transphobic and invalidating enbys, I just knew there wouldn't be an end. It's always best to put your mental wellbeing first. That person likely wouldn't change unless they wanted to.
the stupid "bad influence" thing reminds me of when my best friend's parents suddenly decided that I was a "bad influence," despite us having been friends for years at that point. I'm black but light skinned so maybe they didn't connect the dots lmao. anyways, we're still best friends and they took it back-- but I was shocked. :(
if this was real life, despite the tragic backstory, that Mom would have totally doubledown instead. those kinds of people refuse to admit theyre wrong.
@@bananabrain2996 but imagine being a goth person- who dresses like this- reading these comments. I'd be hurt. Everyone is being so pretentious for no reason.
@@deadeyeguys idk I've seen plenty of people act like that to that level of alt videos still ridiculous but I've seen people flip over 1 piercing or a simple tattoo
@@amandatownsend5132 yes! When I was a baby bat I’ve worn clothing similar to the girl in the vid (even more toned down) and still got snarky comments abt it
How did they get married without him realizing she was this judgmental? It makes me so sad that there are actually disgusting people like this in loving relationships they dont deserve but imma die alone a spinster 😒
People often hide their true colors. When you first get married everything is sunshine and rainbows, but over time, a horrible person tries to trap you in the relationship as they slowly reveal who they really are. Of course, most marriages don't go like this, but this serves as a plausible explanation.
I think the girl reacting like that about her mom doing drugs, like the high horse shit, is actually pretty accurate for how a lot of kids like that feel tho. Like it seems bad to see in a dhar Mann video, but growing up with a sister and others in my family who struggled with addiction, I remember saying/feeling that way when I was in HS. Now that I’m an adult and understand a little more or at least can empathize, I understand that it’s not as simple as I thought. But that’s a very real response and I think probably due to anger or hurt.
Yeah i totally see this, but i really dont think thats what dhar mann was going for tbh like the way its portrayed i do feel like the video was trying to convey that addiction is some sort of moral failure even despite the story of the moms addiction
@birdword111 This is how I am. I know there’s a history of addiction and alcoholism in my family along with depression, bp, and other shit. So I simply don’t trust myself to ever have alcohol. I’ve never seen it as a failing on my family’s part and will never condemn them for something they couldn’t control.
Exactly what I was thinking. I had a friend a couple years back whose parents both suffered with addiction, and for a very long time, she was adamant that she would never do drugs because of them. She also couldn't empathize with the idea that many people don't _choose_ to become addicted to a substance
thank you for this comment!!! i’ve gone through very very similar things and it was traumatic af, especially because there was both internal and external pressure to not be a “failure” like my other siblings. watching that scene brought back actual memories of ppl accusing me of doing drugs (including my own dad) and i had the exact same response as ruby. i don’t think dhar mann should’ve framed it the way he did because it very clearly lacked any nuance and is potentially harmful to young viewers, but it’s also a pretty realistic thing for an 18 year old who recently watched their parent struggle with addiction to do
I fully agree. I was the same way when it came to alcohol, because I saw the kind of person it turned my dad into. Growing up and becoming an adult gave me a different perspective, but I'm simply understanding things I would've NEVER thought of as a kid.
My biggest issue is that this happens to A LOT of kids when their parents get married and are pushed out and antagonized by the step parent. It’s heartbreaking that parents won’t stand up for their kids and side with their SO they’ve known for like a year or something. I honestly don’t think I could stomach this video if it wasn’t for Jarvis’s commentary 😂😅
It's crazy how upset I am over the stepmother's attitude and prejudice. It makes sense though because I really relate to Ruby, I've been called "emo" and "goth" my whole life. And yes, I got some tattoos and piercings, more than Ruby had. But he's the thing, you really can't judge before you get to know someone. Most people judge me on first encounter, I may look a little different than what you're used to. I have 5 piercings on my face, and that's not all of them. I got gauges and I have paid for every body modification I have gotten. It is no one else's choice to make but mine. My family disowned me when I was 16, my mother was abusive and she chose her boyfriend instead of me. The rest of my family just turned a bind eye and never spoke to me again. She sent me away to live by myself and put myself through work and school. I graduated, all by myself. No one was there for my graduation. I have been working full time since I was 16 y/o full time, as well as school full time, and having to live paycheck to paycheck in this economy for years has torn my soul and body apart. But I know there's no real alternative. What I'm trying to say is you NEVER know what someone has gone through. At least give them a friendly chance to explain any "issues" or concerns before you make judgements. Your childhood and the environment you were raised in, and are in now, are very very important to who you really are and why you do the things you do. I don't think anyone should be judgmental honestly, we all struggle, we all change, and we all need help. Please just be that helping hand today for someone. Offering a compliment to a stranger or help an old lady cross the road might save a live. Help people please, and be kind. Thank you Jarvis btw! I love all your live streams and I watch them but I get to nervous to chat with you being able to see it in real time. Lol
im from louisiana and literally 90% of the teachers i knew and parents i knew acted like this. like, this seems so comical to a lot of people, but this video is weirdly accurate. like, the prejudice part, the mom especially. a very real dynamic
Amazing comment! Good message that needed to be said! ^_^ I hope you go through better times in the future because you deserve it and a lot more! Everyone deserves bodily autonomy and people judging by appearance or little impact personal decisions have little to no braincells.
My mom and family act like this ...... They say that because I'm goth I worship Satan or have mental health problems and I don't wanna be happy because I've shifted my wardrobe to all black because I like the color scheme...... It's really nothing to do with that.... Yes I have my issues, but me wearing all black shouldn't change your mind about me or my personality.... I wear what I want and you shouldn't try to change that because I don't find the "social norms " Also it's because I'm a black person and she says "only crazy white kids wear all black" But I like what I like..... It's so annoying 😅😅 I hope the negative stigma of wearing all black changes soon! It's childish
watching this as someone whose name is ruby and dresses far more ‘out there’ than the girl in the video is so funny to me because i am neither a math whiz or have a sad backstory i’m just chilling tbh
The worst part of this dharr man video is that they didn’t put literally any sauce on their pasta. What kind of psycho eats completely unflavored plain noodles?
there is no way she would've turned around so easily, especially with how cartoonish she was. The video should've ended with the dad sticking up for his daughter (and not explained what actually happened since it's none of her business) and leaving the mom, or even being like "we need a break... I don't know you as well as I thought I did". Ruby shouldnt have to prove herself
"Never judge a book by its cover" Ok yes, but also there's nothing in any way wrong with this "cover" that is worthy of judgement. As always, the most fascinating part of Dhar Mann is seeing morality tales written by someone without a functioning moral compass.
I think people don’t understand Harley, the original act of talking shit with the friends is definitely bad, but allowing the mom to lie was clearly due to be scared of her which shows the mom has probably been abusive to Harley her whole life
Infuriating as always. Dhar Mann's "don't judge a book by its cover" stories are always so flawed bc the prejudiced person only accepts the person they're prejudiced against when they learn there's some useful/good trait about them, like Ruby being good at math. There's another Dhar Mann vid where a racist mom only accepts her white son's black friend bc his family also has money, like the lesson Dhar Mann is essentially show is it's fine if they're "one of the good ones". It's also so annoying the stepmother doesn't receive a hint of punishment for her unforgiveable behavior?????? These stories are a mess Thanks for the vid Jarvis!
I would’ve loved if this episode was a mom’s up hill battle to presidency to eliminate Goth aesthetics but it ‘twas not. It was just a ignorant mother not ever meeting, knowing or asking about her husband’s daughter at all in the past year.
I loosely consider my style as kinda soft goth and hardly anything too wild, so I half expected the goth girl too dress kinda like me but nah, she's literally got like two pieces of jewelry, some somewhat dark makeup, and some sharpie doodles on her arms what
RIGHT??? i don’t even consider myself goth and i (+ others i know) dress more (for lack of a better word 😭) “hardcore” than that 🥲🥲 her style is super cute but definitely not goth 😭
I think theres like an alt/emo/goth related slider and shes like very very very low to the point where i cant say its goth Although it is somewhat loosely based in alt fashion
Literally the outfit I'm wearing right now is more goth than that and I don't even consider myself goth. Definitely alt, but not necessarily to a specific genre. Today's one of my casual days and yet I'm flashier 💀 It's really what a 10 year old thinks a goth is because they've been to hot topic once smh- Edit: granted, this isn't a diss on the style because I do think some of the outfits are unironically cute, just VERY tame. It's something I would have worn in middle school/early high school. In fact, I did wear a fit very similar to this as well, an almost identical top.
Tbh if you ignore the terrible unsubtle script the mom is legitimately a good actress. I can see her play a similar character with a better writer and be amazing in the role.
as a black person i’ve noticed micro aggressions in ubers but it is a trend for nonblack people to change the music from whatever they’re listening to to rap and ask me about it like i even listen to it based off of my race
I hate the way they talk about Ruby's fashion choices like it's a tragic thing that happened to her, instead of a look she choses every morning. The point shouldn't be "Ruby dresses like trash, but that's okay, because she's secretly a nice person". The lesson should be, "Ruby's an independent person who dresses in a way that suits her tastes and makes her comfortable. Judging her because you find her look ugly is shitty and shortsighted".
That’s a really decent actress. She is generally upsetting and is stressing me out to the point that I don’t want to watch this at 4:24 a.m. She’s making me tense, and it’s only been 5 mins.
Unfortunately I have a friend with a stepmom just like this one in the video and it is unimaginably frustrating watching my friend feel absolutely trapped and ridiculed by her stepmom who just basically brain washed her dad and is just awful. All that people like that deserve divorce and no forgiveness because they don’t deserve it! It isn’t a one time issue they are built this way and learning one “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” lesson isn’t going to solve shit. My friend feels trapped and can’t even make her own choice when it comes to her major because her dad and stepmom pay for everything and without them she wouldn’t be able to but that means they have complete control over her and she is literally counting down the years until she completely loses her freedom and has to become a teacher.
Tell them to do the first two years of college which is standard classes all majors must take as a teaching major, then switch majors in the 3rd year so they only have to pay 2 years of tuition by themselves
Saying people like that shouldn't be forgiven is a bit extreme imo. I think the point of forgiveness is that it's an act of mercy, no one really deserves it.
That’s how my mom got addicted to opioids. It was a tough long battle all because she got addicted after her back surgeries. She’s now four years clean though ❤️
Exactly what happened to my mom, I almost tend to learn more towards alt fashion these days as well so that's kinda ironic, but my mom broke her neck and had needed serious surgery, the doctor was a shit doctor and kept prescribing her larger doses instead of weening her off and she developed a nasty addiction. She's been clean for years now, though!
Streamer: Big pharma is culpable in the opioid epidemic Chatter (coming in hot): LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS WRONG Streamer: Okay, educate me. Chatter (backing down significantly because they didn't expect to be noticed): ...ugh opioid addiction is down
And fentanyl is at an all time high. We are all just overdosing and dying instead of snorting oxy. Before oxy 80s only 12% of ppl who tried heroin became addicted bc its so strong but Purdue created the perfect gateway drug. Knowing it was water soluble, pushing it on drs saying it circumvented physical withdrawal
Also the rehab industry is batshit insane, no regulations. Michael Kenneth william RIP overdosed but right before that he was in a movie called body brokers, all about rehab industries purposely giving heroin to kids who were on their parents insurance so they'd go in and out making more money for the rehabs. They'd pay them to relapse. They banned it in Florida so it all moved to Cali. Really good movie
13:50 This used to happen to me ALL THE TIME when i first started to use a wheelchair/walker (before i knew about uber assist/WAV) and it blows my mind. pro tip tho: u can report the drivers for discrimination and they'll get fired! bc racists and or bigots in general dont deserve jobs
I was so confused when Jarvis said that. I try to be very nice to people but that's some flawed logic by continuing to enable 'bad' people to racially profile and discriminate against you and people like you.
@@adrii7186 it’s because it’s hard to know/ prove it’s racial discrimination. I don’t know why he hasn’t looked into it but a lot of Uber drivers (depending on areas etc.) don’t know where your destination is until they pick you up. I’ve had Uber drivers reject my lift as they arrive because they don’t want to drive me to my destination. Mainly to my home which is both close by but also not near any real hubs for an Uber to pick up a new customer. The app doesn’t let them know the destination until they have ‘picked u up’ so some of them pretend they have picked you up and the reject the lift when they see where you are going. I’m white. This hasn’t happened to a lot of my friends but that’s because they don’t live in such irritating areas.
@@XOmangoXO nope, they’ll usually call you or chat with you about the situation and if they agree that discrimination took place, they’ll at least make it so the driver won’t be matched with you ever again, and at best they’ll fire them!
the mom gives real “locks the door when driving past black person” vibes
she really does tho
People drive with the doors unlocked?
@@thedeck-buildingdemon8293 I'm guessing they mean extra closing it?
@@thedeck-buildingdemon8293 my car doors don’t lock on their own and why would I need to lock them anyway? I don’t have kids and I don’t live in the city. It’s not like I’m gonna open the door when I’m driving. The amount of time I spent stopped while driving is less than 5 minutes on any given “trip.” And by trip I just mean point A to B. Real life ain’t GTA.
@@thedeck-buildingdemon8293 my thoughts exactly??
honestly props to the actress who played the mom bc i’ve never felt the need to just deck a darh mann villain in the face as much as i’ve wanted to for this lady. like she’s pure evil
more like drop kick her into the sun
this is the first time I've been legit mad at a dhar mann character I could barely sit through it lmao the acting was impeccable tho
agreed. honestly i hate that type of person
YEAH LIKE I FELT THE NEED TO GO OFF AND I HAD TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF SHE'S ACTING IN A DHAR MANN VIDEO I HOPE SHE GOT PAID WELL FOR THAT PERFORMANCE CAUSE HOLY SHIT
Giving me some real Cinderella's stepmother vibes.
the stepmoms acting is like. legitimately good. actual chills from this actress's preformance. true white woman horror
She would be great in a Jordan Peele movie
@@edeniceribeiro7075 fr lmao
Great racism energy
She is very good at her job lol i will say that
@@Rex-golf_player810 I do love that she managed to give ALL the racism energy and direct it at another white person. I was immediately picking up on that vibe even before Jarvis mentioned it, and I am also white.
If she was in a better filmed and paced movie where she lived in a sunset town or something, I would probably have to walk out because of how much my skin would crawl.
white woman horror, my favorite genre. so true tbh
Ah I see. Ruby was only worthy of love when it was discovered that she made good grades. Wonderful message!
DAMN
What a wonderful message indeed👏👏👏
you only deserve love if youre useful ofc
damn that hit hard
@@bigclitenergy every parent ever
I mean, to be fair, Ruby is an 18-year-old who has been living with an addict mother for at least a year, so it makes sense that she wouldn't have the emotional maturity to sort out how addiction works and would have a very strong reaction to the idea that she, too, could end up addicted, but that's a level of emotional complexity not usually found in Dhar Mann's protagonists.
Very true. When my dad went to rehab in highschool I had to cut off my friends who kept talking to me about doing coke and almost dying
She’s like “she could be a druggie!” So let’s abandon her completely, not give her rides home from school, that’ll set her straight ????
Oh yeah, let’s let her walk home. Granting her large amounts of unsupervised freedom. Where she could be meeting anyone and doing anything. That will solve her drug problem
Exactly like if she's a druggie the LAST thing you should do is leave them alone 💀
To be fair that is just realistic to actual conservatives.
@@bloorb0569fair point
thats some classic american logic, if ive ever seen it. maybe dhar man is actually making a meta commentary on how we treat people who do drugs!
"Why couldn't she take call in here? I wonder what she's hiding .." says the woman who turned on the faucet to mask their conversation.
The conversation she tried to leave that girl outside for at that!!!
My mom gossips about everyone all the time, but tried to ground me (at 20 years old) when I took a phone call outside
"Turns on the faucet to take shit about her"
okay but seriously is it not just common courtesy to step out of a room to take a call? have i been personing wrong-
@@rowanquynn9964 she tried to ground you, at 20 💀
Y'know, despite the stepmom having her whole "I was wrong" moment, we never see Ruby say that she forgives her or any indication that she feels more positively towards her besides being willing to play card games with her. For my own peace of mind, I'm going to headcanon that Ruby just passively tolerates her evil stepmom and is going to put distance between them as soon as she's able to, because honestly the stepmom has not done enough to earn forgiveness and we saw with the piercing fake-out at the end that she is still the same judgmental person she always was.
I totally agree with you, but i also find the idea of having headcanons about dhar mann videos absolutley fucking hilarious
"headcanon" 💀
Also, it's telling that it was only after Ruby helped her stepmom's daughter with her grades that she had that supposed "I was wrong" moment. As if Ruby needed to sufficiently prove she was a good person in order to not be degraded and insulted at every turn by her stepmom.
@@tashaburscence5525 being an actual Dhar Mann fan is hilarious
I side with this headcanon ❤️
"turns out, Ruby's in advanced calculus"
She's several years older than you, she could be failing her classes and she could still probably help get your grades up.
so if ruby had been a poor student and a drug user, is the implication that the mom's bigotry would have been justified? because i think Ruby's line about how she would NEVER do drugs says a lot about how Dhar Mann views drug users. additionally, the fact that NONE of these characters stand up for themselves is INFURIATING along with the fact that the mother essentially faces no consequences for her abusive behavior. saying sorry doesn't erase the trauma that she's inflicted
its funny bc dhar mann had a pot business a few years ago lol
@@codyshamback1982 ACTUALLY????
@@hersinkingsun yes he did. same time as he got into trouble for scamming the public works guys.
Right! What kind of example is this weak ass dad? 😒
Yeah Dhar misses the entire nuance of drug addiction. Addicts are also not terrible people, but individuals who need guidance. It’s sad that Dhar portrays it as he does.
I like the evolution from "don't mistreat someone because they might be rich" to "don't mistreat someone because they might be good at algebra and help your child with their homework". So inspirational. 🙌
deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable
@@emilymonahan5232 Rudolph
@@lanceelliott2504 Capitalism
36:00 I think it’s not trying to belittle ppl with drug issues, i think because she’s seen that addiction ruined her life and her mom’s life, she feels particularly frustrated with being accused of that triggering thing, it seems like he was trying to create a traumatized character, and to make it especially cruel for the mom was accusing the daughter of something that made the daughter suffer. Its kinda handled poorly by dharr mann, but thsi is just my interpretation
@@emilymonahan5232Thank you, Lancer, for those very wise words
I love how when Jarvis said "why are they all wearing pink??" the entire chat just erupted in "BECAUSE IT'S WEDNESDAY" 😭 they're just like me fr LMAOOO
Ikr lmao, my first thought was "because we wear pink on Wednesday"
it’s actually because they’re tighter than bark on a tree
Literally sharing the same braincell
@wildfire9280 I'm sorry what 😭
THEY JUST LIKE ME
This basically has the same message as Rudolph - being unique is only acceptable when it's useful.
"As long as you're helping my daughter pass her Algebra class..." 😒
if we cant exploit you, youre a freak
@@lacey892 Ugh right? Like wipe me off the face of the planet. The latter and the emoji is seriously how I feel with Dhar Mann videos. I can only handle watching with Jarvis and him turning it into a fun game. Because without that my frustration with Dhar Mann and how badly he handles the moral is astronomical.
I mean, isn't that the standard for all Dhar Mann videos?
Pretty prevalent idea ingrained in society (or at least from my experience). Not a good message, but one that many passively believe in.
That mom was painfully accurate to the typical strict religious mom. Honestly props to the actor she nailed that role.
My mom acts like that and she aint even religious 💀
It gives a bad name to actually religious people like me!
my younger brother was diagnosed with cancer (he’s been cancer free since november though!!), after his jaw reconstruction surgery he was prescribed opioids for the pain, and it was all given by doctors through an iv since he was in hospital for abt 2.5 weeks recovering, but his body ended up getting addicted and he went through withdrawals. it was honestly one of the hardest parts of his treatment to watch. he’s only ten and was already going through drug withdrawals. anyways he’s slaying now
I was diagnosed with lymphoma August 2020. Also, pretty similar to your younger brother, I’m gonna be cancer free this November! I find these types of comments interesting so I hope I didn’t bother you or anything.
Glad to hear he's doing well.
@@ProdByND thats really great!! i'm so happy for you :) he had ewing sarcoma
Glad everything's going well, hope it continues!
The phrase “Anyway he’s slaying now” is so funny to me idk why, but I’m so happy that you’re brother is doing better. That’s a very hard thing to go through for the whole family
"This look is racially motivated" is deadly accurate. This mom might be the most evil character I've seen in a Dhar Mann video lol
She literally scares me and I thought the exact same thing about her reaction to her stepdaughter.
@@rahwat3489 she is also obsessed with homework for some reason
my favorite part of this was me seeing Ruby and being like "wow she's so cute
Same! Ruby came on screen and I immediately was crushing and the mom was just so pissed about the poor girl's entire existence
@@auroraborealissings2084 Fr she looked so pretty and the mom was just like ‘STAY BACK DEMON!!’
When I look at her, I was so fucking blessed of her outfit. She looks so adorable. Why hating her the way she looks? At least her fashion is better than the mom
Lolll basically
Ik she's so pretty!
We should change "chill dad, evil mom" to "enabler dad, evil mom"
Seriously! I would NEVER let anyone treat my kid that way! I would go to war for my kid and then I would still leave their ass because now I know I can't trust them!
yeah he's not "chill" with me if he can just let his wife be as cruel as she wants.
My stepmom literally treated me the same way when I was growing up. When I turned 18 she made my dad kick me out. She admitted to me years later that she never wanted to raise me because she had her own daughter and two girls was too much for her. She said she even purposely let my cats out so they would run away. She was so sure I would end up doing drugs or getting pregnant. I’m thriving now with a college degree, a husband, my own house, two cars, and I just had a baby.
Congrats on succeeding! You deserve it
💙 here’s to proving them wrong~! 🥂
jfc she did all that hoping that'd you'd get into drugs or pregnant? that's so sick, wishing so much harm on someone ): good to know you're doing well now
Why not just marry someone with no kids if you don't want any (more)??? Is it that crazy of an idea?
I'm sorry that happened, but I'm glad you're doing well now
I'm so sorry about that! Your cats :(
The moral is: It IS okay to judge a book by it's cover, unless she's got a drug addicted mother, A grades and is able tp protect your own real daughter.
bullying goth people is fine unless their mom does drugs! lesson learned.
Yeah that make sense
Unless they can help your daughter with math
@@adambomb1553, definitely the math. The mom wasn’t convinced by the drug addiction. It was the math tutored that got her to figure it out. The comparison someone else made to Rudolph was spot on.
It also sucks bc it implies that goth, emo people have to have either some tragic backstory or reasoning for looking like that or be an actual bad influence. Like, what if I just like the style?What if I just like how it looks?
If she would have been just an average kid,without being good at math or without having a sad story then she wouldn't deserve basic humane respect?
kind of a nitpick but i'd say "the subculture" instead of "the style" since goth is not just a style (it's a music based subculture)
same with emo
reason: it looks cool and who needs ear drums (I listen to heavy metal/screamo)
Plus the fact that realistically, people don't usually go out of their way to pick a certain fashion style just because of what they've been through. My whole household (Mum, Dad and I) all suffer from various mental illnesses and what do we wear? Clothes that we like!
That’s exactly as i thought. As a goth woman, the part where the dad says his daughter is dressed like that because of struggles is very ignorant. Goth fashion is music based, it’s not something that you can just put on seasonally to say that your life sucks. I’m not shocked that Dhar doesn’t do basic research on goth subculture.
Basically the flaw of every Dhar Mann plot
As a goth trans girl it's so funny seeing someone get so worked up at such a tame portrayal of a goth
If that mom ever saw a pentagram or literally anything with chains on it I think she'd actually explode
Yes like she is wearing stuff that a non goth would
this has to be the most tame depiction of goth I've ever seen
an actual goth girl would definitely make her have a heart attack lmao
"Is that, a RED SYMBOL!? That has *DEMONIC* ASSOCIATIONS!? Lest we live among such horrid and devilish artwork! Thy must put a stop to such horrible things and influences! My poor innocent daughter has been inflicted by this despicable thing!" -That mom probably.
ik it’s not goth, but imagine if the daughter wore corpse paint the mom would go absolutely insane😭😭
@@TotallyKurtCobain lmao among
I hate Dhar Man messages, because the person getting treated like shit is always required to "prove" themself to the shitty person, rather than the shitty person facing consequences for their horrible behavior. Like, even if Ruby wasn't good at math, or whatever, she still deserves respect. It's always such a hamfisted, bottom of the barrel message.
The thing that always upsets me with these videos is how the misunderstood good guy always puts so much effort into proving that they're nice to be magically accepted in the end.
They even have to go as far as to open up about deeply traumatizing events to someone who clearly hates them, and it's shown as a good thing.
That's a very dangerous thing to teach, because opening up to abusers is one of the worst things you can do in these situations.
not to defend dhar mann wardrobe choices or anything, but the goth girl's outfits look completely fine to me in the context that she very recently became goth and is only starting out with building her closet and finding her fashion sense. especially the second outfit she was wearing at school, which is completely fine for a gothy school outfit. like ... her fits are fine considering she is probably a fresh baby bat lmao.
Yeah I think Jarvis mainly meant it’s weird that the mother and other kids INSTANTLY reacted like she was super unusually/spookily dressed lol.
I've never heard the term "baby bat" but I vividly remember being one. That's so cute.
I love the term baby bat lol
Or maybe shes just into casual goth like me
@@thescreamingelfwillcry409 both are valid tbh
the father being a pushover and "middle ground" somehow made me more mad than the mother in general
Same! I think it's the cowardice and how enablers and "on the fence" ppl are acc normally the ones who keep these situations alive. An abuser/bigot without that back up would be powerless in this situation. He recognises it's wrong but doesn't want to make things too difficult for himself.
Yes! Like that's your daughter, stand up for her!
@@bananabrain2996 unfortunately thats hpw most abusive family relationships work
@@nhilz yep
The dad is totes a centrist imo
One of my least favorite Dhar Mann Universe bits is the idea that the children should be solving these issues. This was on the dad IMO. I agree about him being a pushover causing harm to both kids.
Yeah, this episode was hard for me to sit through just because of how disgusting the 'mom' was being, and how utterly useless the dad was being in mediating and minimizing damage to his daughter. Maybe I've read a couple too many AITA posts, but it's always so sickening to me when a parent seems to just be allowing (or even worse, enabling) the other to abuse and steamroll their children.
@@cowgirl5155 He was definitely minimizing how awful her words and actions were 😞
I dislike how the dad got zero karma and learned nothing from it, it’s like saying that acting like this is okay when it’s borderline enabling
@@confused_shark2537 Yes!!! Exactly!
I know this is like a thing, of parents choosing their new partner over their kid but like the Dad should have been enraged that his first moment seeing his Daughter was ruined by his new wife acting like HIS DAUGHTER was a demon. Like from moment one if someone anyone calls your kid "Disgusting", idgaf who they are you should be done with that person.
imagine being the goth girl.
you come to visit your dad, and your stepmom instantly hates you, doesn't let you talk to your stepsister and talks shit about you. then you get kicked out of your mom's home so you have to move in with your dad. on your new school you get bullied by some kids and your stepsis pretends she doesn't even know you.
then your stepmom leaves you behind on the new city so you have to find your way home (again its a new place!)
Like holy shit its all on the first day. poor girl
imagine your partner reacting with this amount of vitriol toward your child and not immediately like, questioning the entire relationship
like he is just straight up like "I'll politely ask your stepmother to stop being evil, but if she doesn't I'm cool with you sleeping on the street"
He was terrible for not standing up for Ruby more. 😠
My moms side of the family is very conservative (excluding her), and I dress very extreme when it comes to goth and nu metal fashion and the WORST they give me is "its not Halloween" or "you're all dressed up today". this is so funny because the girl isn't even dressed extreme, if anything shes very casual. the mom would have a heart attack if she went into my closet lmao
Yeah like if she’s goth that’s a super casual outfit. The mom would have a seizure if she saw trad goth makeup or corpse paint
oh i was thinking the same thing. looks like something id wear if i just absolutely could not be bothered.
i dress pretty extreme too, the worst i get from my family is just that my dad doesn't like the fact that i dye my hair weird colours and wear makeup, but he doesn't bring it up much so i just ignore it lol.
FRRRR i think i dress more just. emo, right, but i know some outfits would freak her out 😭😭 spikes, chains, tall demonias, etc etc. and if ruby had trad goth makeup??? LMFAOOOOSJDBAKDHSKJ
Lol right!!
Im not even close to goth and I have that first outfit to a T
"I was just asking her if she played Roblox?"
I fucking CRACKED UP after that.
She litreally did "Do you have phones in your games 😃"
phones in your games@@sadsworth4605
i love how jarvis is talking about his experience with bigots and the live chat is just screaming spaghetti
Lmao
Typical chat behavior. At least, I’ve seen stuff like that before.
It’s good to see the Beldam from Coraline getting newer parts, its always nice to see actors from your childhood become their own characters 😁
UNDERRATED COMMENT
Funniest comment ever
THIS ONE WINS
I honestly cried when you mentioned addiction not making you bad because my parents were addicts, I told myself that wouldnt be me but as life went on and got more difficult I turned to drugs because i saw that how they used it to cope and thought that it might help me . Its refeshing to see people sympathetic towards addicts rather than straight to accusatory.
Dads like “aww thank god, the problem resolved itself and I had to do literally nothing, go me!”
I think my biggest problem with Dhar Mann videos is that they make it seem like the person who wronged you is entitled to your forgiveness just because they appolog/learn their lesson. They're not entitled to jack shit. It's fine to not forgive someone who wrong you.
I completely agree. choosing not to forgive someone does not make you a bad, malicious, selfish or rude person.
@@yuenmienyu and when that person is figuratively Hitler, Palpatine, Ozai, or Sauron that just makes you intelligent
Agree
Actions > words
@@yuenmienyu yes! That's one of my biggest beefs with therapy. This idea that because you don't forgive your abusers, that must mean that you're never going to heal. Forgiveness is and should always be left up to the victim. Not this societal pressure that if you don't do it, you're ruining your life.
I hate how the moral is like "shes still a good person DESPITE how she looks" like implying that theres still something wrong with it
If my possible future wife ever talked about my daughter like that i would kick her out. Don't even try to reason with her.
Slay
"I'm totally wrong? Educate me." This is why I love Jarvis so much. If he's wrong, he wants to learn. He wants to be better.
Jesus, Jarvis talking about his experience with lyft/Uber drivers was heavy. it’s horrible that shit like that still happens.
I've had that happen before and I'm a white woman, I have no idea why but they literally started to pull up and then just drove right past me and canceled the ride. I was so mad. I'd get super frustrated if that kept happening repeatedly.
Love the chat screaming "Spaghetti"
@@SuzER08 same I think it is a common scam so they can be paid without actually having to do anything because I was charged a fee for "missing" my ride.
@@StarryNightxx when it happened to me I wasn't charged, the driver canceled the ride, so idk what their agenda was
@@SuzER08 rip 💀 that's so weird
More needs to be said about the father's horrible behavior. Parents deserve love and happiness. However, it shouldn't come at the cost of their child being tormented in their own home by someone who resents/disapproves of them. Ruby's father should've called off the engagement when he discovered how cruel his fiancee was being to his daughter. Instead, he spends the whole video trying to convince his fiancee to give his daughter a chance. He even considers giving in to the fiancee's request of sending Ruby someplace else to live. If Ruby hadn't saved Harley, I'm sure she would've been cast aside. That shit causes serious long-term damage. I know firsthand.
Yes thank you. The mom pissed me off for sure, but the dad's passive behavior made me so upset. He didn't defend his daughter once in front to his fiancee. If I learned that my future spouse could be that cruel and prejudiced to my child (and over something mild like PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS no less) and with no remorse, I'd break the engagement.
Sorry that you had to experience that, I hope it’s better now
As a goth I must know why I'm illegal
Because you’re goth!!! That means you’re doing drugs and are a bad influence!!! /j
Definitely ⛧
i like your pfp
She hates black(s)/j
What's ur favorite goth band? Mines joy devison
the way i would file a divorce WITH SPEED if i were the dad 💀
I relate to the "driver leaving me behind" situation. I've had a lot of people pull away from me the moment they realize I am transgender. Not just Uber...the number of creepy (mostly older and white) guys who have pulled up to offer me a ride while waiting for the bus or walking down the street only to immediately speed away is alarming.
Ugh, honestly man bigotry and shit like that is so stupid. I'm sorry that's happened to you. But hey at least that decreases the chances of creeps coming to you, albeit it's because they're assholes who can't open their mind anymore than a click to a page on urban dictionary defining different genders and sexualities.
Anyhow wishing you luck and love 🏳️⚧️❤️
Thank you for the statement that "addiction is not a moral failure." There are a lot of factors that can make someone more susceptible to addiction and substance abuse. Someone else being on drugs does not make you a better person than they are. It's heartbreaking and sickening how often people treat those who struggle with addiction as terrible people. My mother will often make awful comments about not helping homeless people "because they're probably on drugs", and it makes me so upset, because people who are on drugs still deserve just as much kindness and respect as everyone else does. (I don't have the emotional or mental stamina at the moment to get into the topic of mistreatment of the homeless right now, but it also shatters me. A quote from a song I know that I feel applies here is, "people are people, regardless of anything.") Growing up, my dad was part of the opioid epidemic, and was addicted to painkillers, and there were several factors, including preexisting mental health conditions that played a part in his addiction. But now he's off of those painkillers, and he smokes weed and he is so much healthier and better because of it! Because guess what, not all drugs are bad! Sure, there are definitely drugs that are extremely harmful, but the people who are addicted to them are not any less of a person because of their struggle, they deserve help and resources (this means more accessibility to mental health resources, to see and address what factors could be at work, not just throwing someone into rehab against their will); they don't deserve disdain and disgust. To sum it up, I'm proud of my dad, and people struggling with substance abuse deserve love and kindness. Sending love to all reading this
I get it, but I think the reason why many people don’t wanna give money to homeless people who are addicted to drugs is because they might use that money to buy more drugs rather than using it for something that will help them get better. So instead of helping them, you are inadvertently contributing to feeding their addiction more.
In Sweden, pretty much anyone can get help and a home if they are struggling or homeless, but only if they agree to go to rehab if they have a drug addiction. So you kind of have to keep that in mind when you are giving money to the homeless, as they are most likely either not legal citizens or people who refuse the help they are offered
periodtt and im proud of your dad too!! :)
@@kimiko_ella3092 lmao they’re gonna get drugs either way, the real question is, are they gonna be able to afford to buy some food to eat, on top of the drugs they’re gonna get either way (no matter what. these are addicts we’re talking about), and also possibly whether they’re going to commit a crime to get the money for the drugs (that they’re *going to* get, for sure)… just my 2 cents as an addict who’s been clean for a year. much love fam
@Joanna Mastron You are simply a wonderful person. Needed you to know this. 💗💗
@@ByzantineDarkwraith Agreed.
Congrats & keep on going one hour at a time. Super happy for you.
PS: anyone who rationalizes not assisting their fellow humans (& being selfish to those who don't have a home? Which is a thing I've come extremely close to many times {& am facing the possibility of again} & all without any addictions but by my having ptsd from religious crap) solely based on their own misguided assumptions? I don't feel they're particularly kind • just my opinion.
I appreciate you.
XO
this is the angriest one of these dumb videos has ever made me. the dad not like, losing his shit at the mom for being genuinely Evil was like nails on a chalkboard for my soul
I love how the father says that Ruby's been "going through some stuff with her mom" as if you can't dress alt (as a goth I'd never call this goth lmao) just because you like it, or you're into the subculture/music.
Okay, her second fit is more modern goth. Would she be allowed to come to school dressed like that tho? Also, really sorry about the uber thing Jarvis, that's absolutely unacceptable :(
Fwiw not all schools have dress codes- my high school didn't have a dress code
It depends on the rules at the school. At my school she probably couldn’t wear it but if she changed a few thing she probably could. I’m not goth but I am punk and I do dress kinda like her sometimes. As long as you know your schools rules you know how to get around them.
@@Atlas_Quin technically no but I got away with a lot of outfits in school that I really shouldn't have, one very similar to the second outfit as well. It's not unreasonable to think, it depends on how strict the school is when it comes to enforcing dress code. In most schools, probably not, and it's a minor miracle I got away with what I did.
"""as a goth I'd never call this goth lmao""" youre being pretentious lol....this is plenty goth. idk why everyone has such a narrow view of what goth is 'allowed' to be. I knew plenty of goth people in HS that dressed just like this. I know this is a fake video with fake people but you guys are like insufferable lol.
@@wildboar67 A high schooler who looks like this but has the spirit is 100% fine, but this is a made up character for a made up story. They could've made her look wilder, with crazy hair and makeup, it would make more sense for the mom to have a bone to pick with her. But no, they chose a very safe and basic look that's barely alt and gave no explanation for it. That's just not understanding goth by the creators.
Yo I'm a pushover but if my daughter was being bullied by my own partner? I wouldn't HESITATE for a divorce!
Christ!
Props to Ruby for packing up right after the mom left her at school, she's saw the signs
She was done. Shame on the dad for not having her back 😔
I think it's pretty realistic for someone who grew up with a parent struggling with addiction to say they'll never do drugs/drink and have a negative view of the addiction.
but in general addiction is framed as a negative trait, not just by ruby. dhar mann's contents is clearly not aimed at adults, so he should be careful when handling such sensitive topics.
As someone who comes from a long line of addicts on both sides, I can 100% say I'll never go near any of it because I've seen how badly it messes people up. I'm genetically more susceptible to addiction, one of my family members is emotionally abusive to get money for drugs, all of my biological family have been adopted (some by the same people), it can be harder to get a job, it messes up your health. I don't negatively judge anyone with an addiction, I wish they could get the help they need
Literally I don't ever want to drink or smoke because of my ex step mother over anything else
@@chancewill6910 me but with both drugs and gambling
Jarvis said that it was weird for Dhar Mann to -make- her character talk down about being an addict vs the character herself having such thoughts no?
Honestly, I'd prefer a druggie over a bigot any day of the week. The only friends I've left or fallen out with has been over bigotry. It's such hard work trying to be friends with a bigot and as soon as you think you manage to convince them not to be a homophobe or something like that after years of dealing with their bs they come at you with some sexism or racial prejudice instead next week. I've honestly given up on them.
Yeah... after trying to get a hs friend to understand why being racist is wrong, she came back being transphobic and invalidating enbys, I just knew there wouldn't be an end. It's always best to put your mental wellbeing first. That person likely wouldn't change unless they wanted to.
Nah. Eff those drivers. As a former rideshare driver, always call the company and report racist drivers to Lyft or Uber to off-board them.
the stupid "bad influence" thing reminds me of when my best friend's parents suddenly decided that I was a "bad influence," despite us having been friends for years at that point. I'm black but light skinned so maybe they didn't connect the dots lmao. anyways, we're still best friends and they took it back-- but I was shocked. :(
I love your Angela pfp
@@epicthy lol ty. such a good show. I chose it because we look similar X3
The dad is worse than the mom because he's enabling her.
Also this triggered my "abusive mother being enabled to keep the peace" senses from childhood
im so confused how tf has this woman NOT met her stepdaughter yet. theyre married right?? bro what
They say at the very beginning that Ruby's the future stepsister, so I guess the parents aren't married yet
as the person said above , they're engaged. 0:48 is the timestamp :)
@@showfeetguy0171 still doesn't make sense how they've been together long enough to be engaged but she still hasn't met her Ruby.
@@blueismylove3128 didn't ruby live in a different city with her mom or something?? idk its been a while
@@showfeetguy0171 I don't think they said it's a different city.
if this was real life, despite the tragic backstory, that Mom would have totally doubledown instead. those kinds of people refuse to admit theyre wrong.
What exactly do you mean by "doubledown"?
@@apple4893 they probably mean like refuse to admit they're wrong and get worse
@@ricegorm Oh
Yup, so true! Happened to me
"it's only a matter of time until you're just like your mother. i'm not letting my precious harley anywhere near you." or something
I like how people are all agree bullying goths for being goths is bad but a third of the comments are just bullying her for not being goth enough
I think it's more laughing at what dhar man's perception of a goth or unconventional person is
LMFAO yeah
@@bananabrain2996 but imagine being a goth person- who dresses like this- reading these comments. I'd be hurt. Everyone is being so pretentious for no reason.
@@deadeyeguys idk I've seen plenty of people act like that to that level of alt videos still ridiculous but I've seen people flip over 1 piercing or a simple tattoo
@@amandatownsend5132 yes! When I was a baby bat I’ve worn clothing similar to the girl in the vid (even more toned down) and still got snarky comments abt it
The actor for the mom literally did such a good job lol. Really wanted to punt her the entire time
More than ever, this "redemption" of the mom REALLY reads "I just figured out you are useful to my own ends, so I'll make nice".
How did they get married without him realizing she was this judgmental? It makes me so sad that there are actually disgusting people like this in loving relationships they dont deserve but imma die alone a spinster 😒
Don't worry, if people like her can get in relationships you'll at least have a higher chance of *staying* in one.
Why wasn't his daughter at the wedding? I feel like you'd pay for your child to be able to attend even if it's far.
Bigger question: why did this video not end with the guy divorcing his wife after seeing how horribly she treats his daughter?
@@MrBookworm01 THIS why doesnt he divorce her??? She seems like an awful person
People often hide their true colors. When you first get married everything is sunshine and rainbows, but over time, a horrible person tries to trap you in the relationship as they slowly reveal who they really are. Of course, most marriages don't go like this, but this serves as a plausible explanation.
I think the girl reacting like that about her mom doing drugs, like the high horse shit, is actually pretty accurate for how a lot of kids like that feel tho. Like it seems bad to see in a dhar Mann video, but growing up with a sister and others in my family who struggled with addiction, I remember saying/feeling that way when I was in HS. Now that I’m an adult and understand a little more or at least can empathize, I understand that it’s not as simple as I thought. But that’s a very real response and I think probably due to anger or hurt.
Yeah i totally see this, but i really dont think thats what dhar mann was going for tbh like the way its portrayed i do feel like the video was trying to convey that addiction is some sort of moral failure even despite the story of the moms addiction
@birdword111 This is how I am. I know there’s a history of addiction and alcoholism in my family along with depression, bp, and other shit. So I simply don’t trust myself to ever have alcohol. I’ve never seen it as a failing on my family’s part and will never condemn them for something they couldn’t control.
Exactly what I was thinking. I had a friend a couple years back whose parents both suffered with addiction, and for a very long time, she was adamant that she would never do drugs because of them. She also couldn't empathize with the idea that many people don't _choose_ to become addicted to a substance
thank you for this comment!!! i’ve gone through very very similar things and it was traumatic af, especially because there was both internal and external pressure to not be a “failure” like my other siblings. watching that scene brought back actual memories of ppl accusing me of doing drugs (including my own dad) and i had the exact same response as ruby. i don’t think dhar mann should’ve framed it the way he did because it very clearly lacked any nuance and is potentially harmful to young viewers, but it’s also a pretty realistic thing for an 18 year old who recently watched their parent struggle with addiction to do
I fully agree. I was the same way when it came to alcohol, because I saw the kind of person it turned my dad into. Growing up and becoming an adult gave me a different perspective, but I'm simply understanding things I would've NEVER thought of as a kid.
16:50 THIS HAS ME DYING! Dhar Mann studios finally made a new dish for set and the only person that will ever notice is Jarvis.
as a pastel goth, i would confuse the heck out of this mom
"My sweet Harley" sounds like something a mom would say and it turns out their "precious daughter" is a bully
My biggest issue is that this happens to A LOT of kids when their parents get married and are pushed out and antagonized by the step parent. It’s heartbreaking that parents won’t stand up for their kids and side with their SO they’ve known for like a year or something. I honestly don’t think I could stomach this video if it wasn’t for Jarvis’s commentary 😂😅
Amen
Fr. Haven't had a real conversation with my dad in nearly 3 years, but our relationship was strained a lot before because of my stepmother
It's crazy how upset I am over the stepmother's attitude and prejudice. It makes sense though because I really relate to Ruby, I've been called "emo" and "goth" my whole life. And yes, I got some tattoos and piercings, more than Ruby had. But he's the thing, you really can't judge before you get to know someone. Most people judge me on first encounter, I may look a little different than what you're used to. I have 5 piercings on my face, and that's not all of them. I got gauges and I have paid for every body modification I have gotten. It is no one else's choice to make but mine. My family disowned me when I was 16, my mother was abusive and she chose her boyfriend instead of me. The rest of my family just turned a bind eye and never spoke to me again. She sent me away to live by myself and put myself through work and school. I graduated, all by myself. No one was there for my graduation. I have been working full time since I was 16 y/o full time, as well as school full time, and having to live paycheck to paycheck in this economy for years has torn my soul and body apart. But I know there's no real alternative. What I'm trying to say is you NEVER know what someone has gone through. At least give them a friendly chance to explain any "issues" or concerns before you make judgements. Your childhood and the environment you were raised in, and are in now, are very very important to who you really are and why you do the things you do. I don't think anyone should be judgmental honestly, we all struggle, we all change, and we all need help. Please just be that helping hand today for someone. Offering a compliment to a stranger or help an old lady cross the road might save a live. Help people please, and be kind. Thank you Jarvis btw! I love all your live streams and I watch them but I get to nervous to chat with you being able to see it in real time. Lol
im from louisiana and literally 90% of the teachers i knew and parents i knew acted like this. like, this seems so comical to a lot of people, but this video is weirdly accurate. like, the prejudice part, the mom especially. a very real dynamic
Amazing comment! Good message that needed to be said! ^_^ I hope you go through better times in the future because you deserve it and a lot more! Everyone deserves bodily autonomy and people judging by appearance or little impact personal decisions have little to no braincells.
you've learned so much from dhar mann
My mom and family act like this ...... They say that because I'm goth I worship Satan or have mental health problems and I don't wanna be happy because I've shifted my wardrobe to all black because I like the color scheme...... It's really nothing to do with that.... Yes I have my issues, but me wearing all black shouldn't change your mind about me or my personality.... I wear what I want and you shouldn't try to change that because I don't find the "social norms "
Also it's because I'm a black person and she says "only crazy white kids wear all black"
But I like what I like..... It's so annoying 😅😅
I hope the negative stigma of wearing all black changes soon! It's childish
@Warda Wada haha like what? And yes I agree there !! God or Satan have condemned us to be here lol
watching this as someone whose name is ruby and dresses far more ‘out there’ than the girl in the video is so funny to me because i am neither a math whiz or have a sad backstory i’m just chilling tbh
The worst part of this dharr man video is that they didn’t put literally any sauce on their pasta. What kind of psycho eats completely unflavored plain noodles?
there is no way she would've turned around so easily, especially with how cartoonish she was. The video should've ended with the dad sticking up for his daughter (and not explained what actually happened since it's none of her business) and leaving the mom, or even being like "we need a break... I don't know you as well as I thought I did". Ruby shouldnt have to prove herself
"Never judge a book by its cover" Ok yes, but also there's nothing in any way wrong with this "cover" that is worthy of judgement.
As always, the most fascinating part of Dhar Mann is seeing morality tales written by someone without a functioning moral compass.
I think people don’t understand Harley, the original act of talking shit with the friends is definitely bad, but allowing the mom to lie was clearly due to be scared of her which shows the mom has probably been abusive to Harley her whole life
The lesson is: never judge someone by their appearance, because you may discover they are really useful to you
Infuriating as always. Dhar Mann's "don't judge a book by its cover" stories are always so flawed bc the prejudiced person only accepts the person they're prejudiced against when they learn there's some useful/good trait about them, like Ruby being good at math. There's another Dhar Mann vid where a racist mom only accepts her white son's black friend bc his family also has money, like the lesson Dhar Mann is essentially show is it's fine if they're "one of the good ones". It's also so annoying the stepmother doesn't receive a hint of punishment for her unforgiveable behavior?????? These stories are a mess
Thanks for the vid Jarvis!
Not y'all trying to judge if she's coming off as goth or not. She could be a casual goth, or a baby goth like why the gatekeep
not to mention goth is a subculture as well, it's not the fashion itself that makes someone goth only, it's the music as well
It’s a character no one is gatekeeping a real human. Chill.
That's what I'm trying to say,
I think it's more about a non goth creating a goth character using bad stereotypes.
I would’ve loved if this episode was a mom’s up hill battle to presidency to eliminate Goth aesthetics but it ‘twas not. It was just a ignorant mother not ever meeting, knowing or asking about her husband’s daughter at all in the past year.
I like how Jarvis politely engaged with a viewer telling him he was wrong. I would have loved if Jarvis had been like "Fuck you. I'm right"
Time stamp?
it's insane to me how kind and forgiving jarvis is
like holy shit if an uber cancelled the ride because they were bigoted i would cancel their career
We need a "character reasonably asks about continuity error" and "dramatic unneeded backstory placement".
I loosely consider my style as kinda soft goth and hardly anything too wild, so I half expected the goth girl too dress kinda like me but nah, she's literally got like two pieces of jewelry, some somewhat dark makeup, and some sharpie doodles on her arms what
RIGHT??? i don’t even consider myself goth and i (+ others i know) dress more (for lack of a better word 😭) “hardcore” than that 🥲🥲 her style is super cute but definitely not goth 😭
I think theres like an alt/emo/goth related slider and shes like very very very low to the point where i cant say its goth
Although it is somewhat loosely based in alt fashion
Her style is like nu goth or maybe baby bat but VERY VERY toned down. Like it's the tamest of the tame.
Felt more rocker/rock-and-roll with a hint of baby bat, tbh.
Literally the outfit I'm wearing right now is more goth than that and I don't even consider myself goth. Definitely alt, but not necessarily to a specific genre. Today's one of my casual days and yet I'm flashier 💀 It's really what a 10 year old thinks a goth is because they've been to hot topic once smh-
Edit: granted, this isn't a diss on the style because I do think some of the outfits are unironically cute, just VERY tame. It's something I would have worn in middle school/early high school. In fact, I did wear a fit very similar to this as well, an almost identical top.
dhar mann needs to make one where it’s ok to not forgive someone
and you don't need to have a sad backstory to be respected
A controlling mom who likes to waste water? I'm ready to hate
Why does the mom look like that Christian mom that brags about going to church every Sunday, but in reality she's the most judgemental person.
Tbh if you ignore the terrible unsubtle script the mom is legitimately a good actress. I can see her play a similar character with a better writer and be amazing in the role.
completely unrelated but i love your pfp
There should be a card for "amazing acting bad script"
as a black person i’ve noticed micro aggressions in ubers but it is a trend for nonblack people to change the music from whatever they’re listening to to rap and ask me about it like i even listen to it based off of my race
This dad, dude… if I had a spouse who were treating MY CHILD like that I’d call divorce IMMEDIATELY
I hate the way they talk about Ruby's fashion choices like it's a tragic thing that happened to her, instead of a look she choses every morning.
The point shouldn't be "Ruby dresses like trash, but that's okay, because she's secretly a nice person". The lesson should be, "Ruby's an independent person who dresses in a way that suits her tastes and makes her comfortable. Judging her because you find her look ugly is shitty and shortsighted".
The thing about Dhar Mann videos is they try so hard to be "deep" and serious that they stumble backwards into accidental comedy gold.
That’s a really decent actress. She is generally upsetting and is stressing me out to the point that I don’t want to watch this at 4:24 a.m. She’s making me tense, and it’s only been 5 mins.
Unfortunately I have a friend with a stepmom just like this one in the video and it is unimaginably frustrating watching my friend feel absolutely trapped and ridiculed by her stepmom who just basically brain washed her dad and is just awful. All that people like that deserve divorce and no forgiveness because they don’t deserve it! It isn’t a one time issue they are built this way and learning one “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” lesson isn’t going to solve shit. My friend feels trapped and can’t even make her own choice when it comes to her major because her dad and stepmom pay for everything and without them she wouldn’t be able to but that means they have complete control over her and she is literally counting down the years until she completely loses her freedom and has to become a teacher.
Tell them to do the first two years of college which is standard classes all majors must take as a teaching major, then switch majors in the 3rd year so they only have to pay 2 years of tuition by themselves
Is she able to work or get financial aid? Does the college have counselors?
Saying people like that shouldn't be forgiven is a bit extreme imo. I think the point of forgiveness is that it's an act of mercy, no one really deserves it.
Jarvis' chat whenever there's a conversation in an open space: is this a parking lot confrontation????🤔🤔🤔
Whenever there's a cut to a new location
TIME SKIP? TIME SKIP? TIME SKIP?
I see a car. Is this a parking lot confrontation? Is that the DHAR CAR?
“ *That’s how druggies dress 😮* “
That part is just so funny for me
Jarvis surgically zooming in to a bowl of fettuccine is so funny for some reason
That’s how my mom got addicted to opioids. It was a tough long battle all because she got addicted after her back surgeries. She’s now four years clean though ❤️
Congrats to your mom!!
Exactly what happened to my mom, I almost tend to learn more towards alt fashion these days as well so that's kinda ironic, but my mom broke her neck and had needed serious surgery, the doctor was a shit doctor and kept prescribing her larger doses instead of weening her off and she developed a nasty addiction. She's been clean for years now, though!
@@2doot happy that our moms are doing better now!
I’m glad she’s doing better, that’s a very hard thing to go through for both of you
Streamer: Big pharma is culpable in the opioid epidemic
Chatter (coming in hot): LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS WRONG
Streamer: Okay, educate me.
Chatter (backing down significantly because they didn't expect to be noticed): ...ugh opioid addiction is down
You have way more patience and grace than me, Jarvis.
@@BrookeBaubles Essentially the argument must have been "Opioid prescriptions are down, therefor there is no epidemic" which is laughably untrue.
Lol scripts are down and that just means they all switched to heroin/fent
And fentanyl is at an all time high. We are all just overdosing and dying instead of snorting oxy. Before oxy 80s only 12% of ppl who tried heroin became addicted bc its so strong but Purdue created the perfect gateway drug. Knowing it was water soluble, pushing it on drs saying it circumvented physical withdrawal
Also the rehab industry is batshit insane, no regulations. Michael Kenneth william RIP overdosed but right before that he was in a movie called body brokers, all about rehab industries purposely giving heroin to kids who were on their parents insurance so they'd go in and out making more money for the rehabs. They'd pay them to relapse. They banned it in Florida so it all moved to Cali. Really good movie
13:50 This used to happen to me ALL THE TIME when i first started to use a wheelchair/walker (before i knew about uber assist/WAV) and it blows my mind.
pro tip tho: u can report the drivers for discrimination and they'll get fired! bc racists and or bigots in general dont deserve jobs
I was so confused when Jarvis said that. I try to be very nice to people but that's some flawed logic by continuing to enable 'bad' people to racially profile and discriminate against you and people like you.
Did you have to prove it was discrimination, I feel like that could be hard and the driver could come up with some excuse?
@@adrii7186 it’s because it’s hard to know/ prove it’s racial discrimination. I don’t know why he hasn’t looked into it but a lot of Uber drivers (depending on areas etc.) don’t know where your destination is until they pick you up. I’ve had Uber drivers reject my lift as they arrive because they don’t want to drive me to my destination. Mainly to my home which is both close by but also not near any real hubs for an Uber to pick up a new customer. The app doesn’t let them know the destination until they have ‘picked u up’ so some of them pretend they have picked you up and the reject the lift when they see where you are going. I’m white. This hasn’t happened to a lot of my friends but that’s because they don’t live in such irritating areas.
@@XOmangoXO nope, they’ll usually call you or chat with you about the situation and if they agree that discrimination took place, they’ll at least make it so the driver won’t be matched with you ever again, and at best they’ll fire them!
@@adrii7186 THIS!!!
I do gotta give props to dhar dhar for having a "always stay humble and kind" sign behind them when Ruby gets introduced. That's pretty funny
You know the actings good when you HATE THE MOTHER AND THE FRIENDS WITH A BURING PASSION
my dad also didn't have an issue with my step mom wanting me dead, great realism dhar man 10/10
10/10/10 😊