1:05:16 I burst out laughing at the expression on your face. This video has actually been fun to watch because of the revulsion this woman inspires in all of us but especially you. You probably had to take a long hot shower after making this.
LiveAbuseFree is a qualified and experienced psychologist. Just like a doctor does not have to experience a sickness or pharmacist doesn't need to have tried every pill to do their job, psychologist is better placed to analyse interpersonal relations than people who are experiencing them.
She's also angry because she no longer has control over her daughter. Her daughter took back her own control and shut her out. And making her daughter's b-day all about herself is absolutely next-level narcissism. Everything always has to be about her. No wonder her daughter left!
My mother controlled my birthday celebration for years until I finally refused to go along with her plans & then she started hitting back by either telling other family members not to contact me or deliberately withholding their cards. On the last one before her death I had gone no contact for over two years but she sent me a card about her illness to make me feel guilty
Also, why do we need to see her walking round her lovely home, smacks of “look at how successful I’ve been”? Can’t imagine why the daughter doesn’t want anything to do with her😱🤔
It's part of some people's mental illness to blame everyone else and never be able to take responsibility or even feel a sense that they can have an internal locus of control.
💯, I feel like that moment is the core of her whole personality, and likely the central issue in her relationship with her daughter. If this was a completely different scenario and I heard someone say those words in another context I would still absolutely think they were a narcissist
I spoke to a woman who admitted to me her daughter doesn't speak to her. Discussing parenting I talked about apologizing to my daughter when it's necessary and this woman completely disagreed. She was adamant that you don't apologize to your children. That told me right there who this woman was.
@@TannerSalcido Had a similar experience. Her son ghosted and blocked her on all social media. In a discussion about disciplining children, I said "it helps if you can recognize the child's personhood." She tried to fight me on that.
Two self absorbed parents. Asperger's may push you away from hugs and things.,, That doesn't mean that you give up, but means that you keep trying to get close on their terms. I speak from experience. You can spot a narcists sometimes by the fact that their own birthday is such a focus. lol Mom wants to be a you tube star.
@dariamancini963 some people are thoughtful and considerate- they exist!! But yes narc parents have you so fearful you do end up always over thinking and being a pleasing child
It's not just what she's saying. The Hollywood level production of her video is unbelievably creepy. The manipulation in the dramatic bgm, staged shots, her posing... she's created a smear movie, it's chilling. Imagine being targeted like this by your mother or any family member. Too many awful parents are applauded for publicly shaming and bullying their children because of a private personal problems.
Her "movie" is so glaringly narcissistic, it almost deserves an Oscar...except Oscar's usually go to convincing performances. We all saw through this lady's BS. She's a terrible actress
Agreed! It is professional! If only she had put as much time & energy into honestly responding to her daughter as she put into the video. It's got a soundtrack, artsy camera placements, reenactments (emphasis on "act") and special visual and sound effects!
Dear Hailey, I doubt you’ll see this but just in case I hope instead of being embarrassed you can see this almost as a gift. Your mom is outing herself to the entire internet as a narcissist. We can all see. You have all of us on your side. You have an army behind you. We can ALL see through her.
The sad thing is Hailey is probably cringing for her mom because she probably still loves her mom and deep down what she wants is for her mom to acknowledge how much she failed her and work on changing. I see her as just working to accept reality but still wishing it wasn’t her reality.
Yes it will be good for her to finally be validated but I agree she will feel shame on her mothers behalf . The mother is so tone deaf to it all she has no idea how much her narcissism leaks ....it probably re triggers the daughter. Narcissism is a scourge
Yeah if Hailey is seeing this she’s probably feeling validated but also deeply sad that this is her reality. These videos are probably hitting her like a ton of bricks of sadness as she sees how incapable her mother is of empathy and love. But hopefully it’s also easing any guilt or uncertainty she might be feeling at the decision she has made.
yeah and mean while the only awareness they have of her health is thru tiktok and then they only use her diagnosis to justify them treating her like shes defective still. DANG this video hurt my soul. Hope daughter has the best support group of ppl in her life
Also, that kind of thing is a two-way street. Unless they're actively spying on her, how do they know if she's alive or dead? And why does it not matter if they don't care enough to check on her, but it's a heinous crime for the daughter to not check in with them? They knew they were in the wrong when they took her lack of replies as a personal sleight instead of thinking "maybe something is wrong, maybe she needs our help" - y'know, like a normal loving family member would. In a truly innocent scenario (as the parents try to paint this as being) her silence could've meant that she was in a coma, or kidnapped, or dead. Anyone truly innocent would be questioning why they'd not had a reply without immediately jumping to the "she's being horrible" line. They are supposed to be parents and yet they expect their daughter to show more parental responsibility than they do. Disgraceful.
She "found" her Tiktok because she went looking for it. She "combed through all the comments looking for any mention of us" is the most overt admittance of her narcissism. Utterly grotesque. Can't imagine how vulnerable and stalked the daughter felt and feels. Now that her trauma has been exposed to hundreds of thousands of people. It's perverted and wrong.
Yep, and this is why even though I have my relatives on fb I never post anything personal. Not saying her daughter shouldn't, I just find it's the only way to keep them from stalking you.
Yes, the mother is just awful. But in a way, her conduct is helpful to the daughter in that it provides more evidence of the mother's sick, delusional reality. Very painful, but pushes the daughter to keep her distance.
This mother is LOVING every moment of this. The smear campaign, holding herself up as the ultimate victim, starting a group where she can lord over all the other horrible parents (at a hefty price).
@@b.f.2461nah, they'll get along as long as they have a common enemy. They'll just bounce ideas off each other and share way to abuse and ways to lie believably, what to watch out for.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is one big smear campaign against the daughter on a huge scale, and it's sickening. I'm glad that channels like this exist to expose these people.
My heart goes out to the daughter. "Diane" calling her daughter "dead inside" when she wasn't even on the call is another level of sick. I'm starting to believe that parental estrangement groups are where the narcissists hang out.
It probably is where the narcissists hang out. Whenever someone says that their children will have nothing to do with them, and starts complaining about it, my very first guess is that the individual speaking is toxic and ruined their own relationship with their child, but does not have the self-awareness to see it. Maybe in a few random, bizarre situations it is otherwise, but mostly I think it is just the parent outing themself as having been a horrible parent and not realizing they are outing themself. The sad thing is, the mother is probably surrounding herself with so many other clueless parents that they are just all stewing in their own lack of awareness, and will never truly do what it takes to heal their relationships. I hope that if the daughter sees this it helps her in her healing process.
@@m.e.3614This! I saw the video of this woman & the comment section alone is a sh*it show. So many others like her commenting. There was just one mother writing about how she understands that her daughter needs the space and that she’s in therapy herself now & taking accountability. I wrote her back she’s a unicorn & many of us children would love to see our parents go that way too, but sadly this will be not reality for most of us. I love how the awareness of this kind of parents has raised over the last couple of years and continues. I really hope the next step for society is to not blame the children but instead asking the parents what they did to make their child go no contact. I myself still don’t talk much about it and find myself stumbling around with words when someone asks me about my parents bc there are still many ppl with no awareness regarding this topic.
It's funny because she went through all of this "searching for answers". But every time an answer showed up, she just completely turned a blind eye. She searched for a way to make her daughter wrong. She searched for a way to validate her own victimhood. This mother is a manipulative monster.
Unfortunately, that's what it's all about for them. They only want someone to tell them they did nothing wrong. They'll tell it to themselves if no one else will.
This was clear when she said that she scanned that book and couldn’t stomach the chapter on amends. Like she can’t imagine having any role in what’s happened
Wow, the mother is a gaslighting narcissist if ever there was one. Her supply is gone and she is hitting the "streets" online to find a new supply. The daughter is wise and strong to remove herself from her very toxic mother.
Wow. I never even thought of that! Do you think that's why she wants to get back in contact with her daughter? Because her fuel was good? I find that us autistic folks don't really give very good narc fuel because we don't react 'normally,' if we even react at all. I suspect the mother's facade was centered around being a 'good mom,' so now her facade has been burnt to the ground.
I thought she was going to say she sent her some money or donated to a charity the daughter would approve of. Buying a present for herself shows how narcissistic she is.
One of the many red flags in that video. I couldn’t believe what I heard. And just the *way* she said it…like the daughter had destroyed this saintly mother and the utter despair caused by the daughter drove the saintly mother to the desperate act of having to actually go out and buy herself a well-deserved birthday gift due to the daughter’s cruel treatment of her. And yet there are many commenters providing her supply and perhaps overlooking the red flags maybe because they think the mother’s actions are coming from sincerity and devotion.
@@5apph1b1u3I'm willing to bet the mother's supporters are narcessists too, and they are only seeking their own validation through supporting her b.s.
It’s so good to hear non-narcissistic people say that this is weird because in isolation, it makes me feel so guilty to hear someone bought themselves a present because they were sad. I’ve just fallen for these kind of people’s lies for so long, and hearing better answers helps so much.
Yeah, good for Hailey. Feels strange being so informal with someone who I do not know, but anyway, it takes tremendous strength to break away from your own mother, especially as a daughter, I would imagine. It also does not appear as though Hailey had any "ace in the hole," so-to-speak, an inside agent like a like-minded cousin, father, sibling, teacher/coach (might be unprofessional a little bit), nobody around who saw the mother for who she was, and in-turn lovingly guided/assisted Hailey in arriving at her own self-evident conclusion about her parents. Surely, the vindictive, childish narcissist mother would've outed anyone She believed "betrayed" her/built camp/"brainwashed" her daughter. Thst her mother didn't have anyone else to 'out' was actually pretty fucking sad to me, as.it meant that poor girl was completely alone, likely believing she was crazy a lot of the time, believing maybe SHE was the narcissist, SHE was the bad daughter, etcetera...with no close family member who similarly figured mom out to help her. She was likely totally alone, and that is shitty. Hailey is obviously a very driven and tough girl, good for her.
Holding against someone the fact that you saved them from choking as a child... ma'am, that's called _the bare minimum_ . "Sorry, mom, I guess I shouldn't have choked and put you through all of that." 🤦♀️
Right?! Like, that's literally want parents are SUPPOSED to do. Only a narcissist parent wants a trophy for actually managing to keep their kids from dying a early death
She says in her email that she wasn't watching her daughter at the time, and then noticed she was lying on her back with her arms and legs flailing about. It's funny how most mothers would hate that memory because of the terror they would have felt that their baby could die. They'd feel guilty for the fact they had taken their eyes off them and not seen what was happening straight away.
this is what i thought to, like she would feel some shame. its crazy to use that as leverage without feeling responsibility for the cause of the choking. had a paralyzed grandma with a partially working arm and she choked on a piece of burger one time and my mom spent hours with her massaging her neck and helping her remove extra saliva from the incident, she always cut up her food to tiny bits but was still ashamed as if she did something wrong bc she let grandma use her one arm to eat (grandma prefers this) and it was really scary for her (was like 5 when it happened.) @@LiveAbuseFree
@@ptlovelight2971 Mine told me I was ungrateful, she said no one would ever love me, I remember being so afraid of her and hiding under my first bunk bed (I was about 3, I remember the rage and the sudden switch when I wouldnt come out. I thought I was the one broken.. Its her. N/C for about 20 years plus.. I dont think she thinks of me. Im certain new people in her life dont know about me
i heard that. this movement is a dream COME TRUE. i recently saw my own mother in an indie-channel expose on abusers. the guy with the camera called her "nasty" to her face. let her know he saw right through her and that the world would now get to see. i thought of all the times i wanted to stand up to her ..and of the times i tried and she sent me to jail and to the psych ward. that vid had me crying in vindication. JUSTICE is the real treatment for depression.
My mother does this too. I'm far closer to Diane's age than to her daughter's age fwiw but my mother wanders around with the "content" expression the whole time, like it's staplègunned on. I take my hat off to haley because I was 47 when I sent my first letter. It was ignored. I was told by my content-faced mother that if I showed respect I could be part of the family. I tried to refer back to the letter and got the cold shoulder. I was only smeared to relatives!! This permanent smile is deranged. Like no matter what is happening, the smile must go on. Loving these videos. Most videos detail situations that are too extreme, and then I feel a bit guilty for relating to them, even partially.
@@teachersusan3730I think it's like showing your neck (human style). I'm no threat, I'm no threat. So grrrrrr don't challenge me. Don't dig deep. Accept my loveliness at face value and back off.
The only time she wasnt smirking was when she was angry that her daughter had 'fans' aka people not being overly critical of her. Any normal parent would be happy to see she was connecting with others and having positive relationships like it's such a red flag that this is the only time she looked unhappy in the video
Both of Hailey's parents are self-absorbed narcissists who seem to feed off of each other. Their poor daughter...Hailey, if you are reading this I 100% support you!!
I was really hoping that this wasn't the case, that maybe it was only the mother. That's the hardest thing, always hoping that one of them might snap out of it and turn out to be the kind of person you needed.
The fact that she labels the daughter’s letter as “angry” tells it all. Anger is a secondary emotion due to feeling hurt, betrayed, humiliated, shamed, unsupported and so forth. She needs to investigate those other possible emotions before saying another word.
It's all about projection... Funny enough, when I set some solid boundaries with my narc I got a , kid you not: "Don't be authoritarian!!! I DON'T ACCEPT this!!"
Yeah… I had a situation recently where I was framed as “angry” when I wasn’t. I had no emotions about it, it was just a simple yes or no situation. Nothing to get upset about. It’s a deflection technique for sure. (Lots of other clues in the dynamic, sometimes a person is seething with rage and trying to deny it.)
This woman is so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh. The violin music is killing me 😂 I'm glad that she is at least showing everybody exactly why her daughter cut contact, even in the attempt to denigrate her.
The violin music, yes! It's like a shower of strings. Back in the day, there was a way of expressing when you think someone is being very self pitying and you want to sort of joke them out of it - they would pretend to play a violin. Like, instead of air guitar, it was air violin. And this vlog mother has actual violin music in this video, and probably is oblivious to the irony. Gentle LOL. This lady should get some hobbies and learn to practice happiness.
To not be triggered by the mother I had to lean into the absurdity of it too. The music, the long shots of her drinking tea and contemplating life, it's all too much 🤢 😬😆
@@ideaWorld403she could have just started a vlog channel about her fabulous Lake Tahoe retirement life since she loves the camera so much. I’m gonna send her some cheese to go with her whine 😂
Has anyone ever noticed that these narcissists always talk about the good old days, back in the day, when their kid was little? Back when they were younger and didn’t have their own opinions. Back when they were compliant little copies of themselves. Narcissists only tolerate you when you don’t push back and question them. Once a child grows up and deviates from the parents all of a sudden it’s a huge problem. I personally love seeing my kids grow and develop into their own people. Narcissists…not so much. They see it as a threat.
Agreed. I have family that continually brings out old videos and doesn't allow you to be different from that time. Video of when I was 20 and now 48 is a vast chasm of time and change.... I get tired of what "used" to happen and can only handle so much nostalgia. we live in the present always....
Exactly. My mother discarded me emotionally when I was about 5 years old. The “good times” were before I could speak and they could care for me-or not-however they wanted to.
My mother would frequently tell me: "You use to be my little sweetheart, until you started to hate me at only 6 years old." (As if I suddenly became a demon seed at 6 years old or something.) I later learned that 6 years old is when a child's developing psyche first begins to separate from their mother, use their own reasoning mind, and assert independence. Yeah, narcessists don't like that.
she turned her video into a major film production... the music, the typewriter sound, the DRAMA. I bet she fancies herself to be a great ...everything. she is the star of her own production.
Yes, her videos are edited well, I won’t criticise her for the re-enactments snd old footage spliced in. It all worked well for a creator's first videos! So I can see how this woman is probably very well liked as an acquaintance. This is my mother, she is more popular, invited everywhere, everybody says hello to her, but she has no close friends that's she's had for years. I have never seen such a doppelganger of my mother on screen!!
She's not just showing how loving she was with the baby - she's also parading how she looked when she was young. Parents like this will often display the very best photos of themselves and use any excuse to do so.
I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and was finally diagnosed as an adult. When I told my mom, she asked me how I felt about the diagnosis, she apologized for not seeing the symptoms when I was a kid, and asked me questions about what it means for me now. My heart breaks for their daughter that she doesn’t get this kind of basic love from her parents. I hope she’s finding peace and support in her community that she’s made.
That her mother paid SO little attention to her that she didn’t have an inkling about the autism and ADHD, yet her response was not like your Mothers… to apologize for dropping the ball. Your mother accepted some responsibility for that error. Good for her. 😊
My father got mad and told me there's no such thing as ADHD and I just don't eat right or exercise enough etc🤦🏻♀️Bit of a slap on the face after decades of raging and criticizing me for being the way I am.
And there it is-- insulting the daughter's hobbies. Those tiny microaggressions that they struggle so desperately to minimize are actually kind of a big deal. And it was ultimately the reason why I went no contact with my entire family.
@@G-L-O-R-I-AI’m sure it’s countless. The issue is these parents want examples when you try to explain your feelings, but how can I compound every single passive aggressive comment you’ve made to me for my whole life?
"Grieving the relationship with her mother that she will never have." Anyone who has gone through this ... this phrase says it all. It is very painful and difficult to accept that a key, primal relationship will just never be okay.
You argue with yourself about it forever… the internal guilt like maybe I am to blame and then the sudden realization that you couldn’t be when you were just so young. Hugs from my inner child to yours
I'm so glad it doesn't bother me anymore. For many years I feared the wound would never heal without her doing something, at least acknowledging it, literally _anything._ A knife in my heart with her hand secured around the blade, twisting it constantly. A gaping hole where my mother should be, instead filled with her dagger. Therapy, getting on the right meds, and cutting her out of my life helped massively (right now very low contact, because she's chilled out). Gave me the time to slowly take the dagger out myself and train myself to stop thinking about her. Then time to slowly introduce thinking about her, vaguely, briefly. Now I can finally think about her and even talk to her about random stuff as if I only met her 2 years ago. A random woman who bought my family home after my parents died, helping me out by letting me keep my stuff there still, and who I can have shallow conversations with. Thankfully my mom isn't a full blown narcissist,she doesn't have a personality disorder or anything, she just ends up acting like one...mainly just a terrible mother, due to her own messed up brain, trauma and failures. She doesn't love bomb and doesn't ask for love. She doesn't pretend to love me. She's fine treating me like a stranger and vice versa, no matter how much it hurts me. I'll never have a mother, I've been forced to accept that. But it used to be a gaping wound, stabbed every time I thought about it. With her twisting the knife every chance she got. Like, so painful I couldn't breathe or think about anything besides how desperately I wanted her to pull the knife out. 😔 And to think that I have it easy compared to so many people. If my mom was any worse I would be no contact for life, 100%.
My Dad is like Ted. He hasn't really dug deep in to the dynamic, he just backs up my mother. My mother's interpretation is gospel. When I asked my mother to stop labelling me sensitive and paranoid, my mother was super defensive and my Dad came over to my house to reprimand me for ''hurting mum''. I'm so so so glad you're doing these videos. It's so validating. Because these things are so subtle. Everybody I know thinks my parents are LOVELY. Only a very few people get it.
I get the same response. Can't handle any emoting. Any demonstration is selfish, unfair, too upsetting to my mother and bothers my dad. They will just hang up the phone on me or cut me off the instant they feel uncomfortable - never mind what situation I'm dealing with this and generally I communicate with a lot of empathy and self awareness. Never blaming anyone. But if I don't have wonderful nes to share l'm immediately invalidated/eliminated.
I remember she said she read a book or watched vids about kids who cut contact but then decided it required too much concessions on her part. That was hilarious and a perfect example of how a narc can do no wrong or make concessions
Omg yes! I laughed so loud at that! My partner was startled and jumped lmaooo. It’s like, yeah your inability to show contrition is a big reason why your daughter wants nothing to do with you. So this checks out.
Exactly!! They feel entitled to do and say anything they have done, and can't admit any tiny bit of fault or apologize, because they REALLY believe they did nothing wrong... 'so why should they compromise, right?' ... Compromising means that they need to see the other person as an equal, and they CAN'T lose ANY of that power over someone... they always need to be best, better, more, on top... humility is not in their repertoire...
True! But I don’t think she actually even read the entire book - just scanned the TOC to get to what she thought was relevant and then when she didn’t like what it said (the ‘too much concessions’ hassle) she bailed on the book entirely.
She thinks of her daughter's birthday as the day SHE became a mother? OH my god. I had never even considered this. My kids' birthdays are THEIR days. She has her own birthday to celebrate.
The Stepford Mother: the sickly-sweet sing-song voice, the permanent fake beneficent smile, so desperate to hide the vile, vindictive, envious, face that her daughter sees behind closed doors. Her lack of self-awareness is beyond staggering. A highly astute analysis of this smiling Momster. 👍
This is so well described. Perhaps this affect shown by the mother is what ensnares the sympathetic commenters. They fall for the sing-song voice and fake beneficent smile. While those of us who can see through it, are repulsed.
Great perception of what’s going on here. Her “parents” are vile! Even after her diagnosis of ADHD & autism, they’re STILL playing the victim. She’s far better off without these perpetual victims. Go, Hailey, & never look back!
As an autist, that was infuriating. My dad, very narcissistic, just denied my autism. He yelled at the pshychologists who evaluated me as a teen, and also wrote a letter claiming their diagnosis was wrong because he and his family are perfect. He was never part of raising me, very neglectful, so couldn't know anything about how I was. Also, whole lot of my dad's family are very narcissistic, one of my uncles are malignant and been to prison for physical abuse.
And this is why I didn't reveal my autism diagnosis to my narc sister, whom I was living with for years. She suspected it though. But our relationship was so fractured by that point, I would never trust her with such sensitive information about me
My father's cousin disappeared 40 years ago. According to my family, he walked out without a word of warning. Years went by and they never heard anything from him. Then, 10 years ago, he walked into his brother's funeral, sat through the service, and walked out. My father was out there smoking and managed to exchange a couple of words. The cousin said he lives a 3-hour drive away. Then he walked away again. I wonder what his family did to him. It does take a lot to walk away like that.
When you google 'what to do when your daughter stops talking to you' the first answer google gives is: '1. Dont lecture them OR tell them how hurt you feel.' When google can out parent you, you have some things to reflect on.
I'll never forget hearing my parents say, "I wish we had a nice daughter." They were both alcoholics & we had domestic violence in our home every time they'd start drinking because 1 or 2 hrs later they'd start fighting. Physical fights. They blamed it all on me. It was my fault. We didn't have a "Harmony House" because of me. I was 9 yrs old.
The losers always look for scapegoats. Mother blamed me for coming into the world unwanted out of wedlock. It’s was curse for Roman Catholics to have children that way.
Did we have the same parents?! This was my childhood exactly. Except the narcissistic blaming and abuse didn't end when they both passed; my older sister then took up their dark traits after I moved in with her. My whole family was ruined by personality disorders
I called out my mother on using my brother in fights against his dad just like she did to me, bringing kids into adult situations to isolate her partner in a grown up argument…coaching us against our other parent because it’s impossible not to side with mommy when she cries, her response was that “he’ll be just fine because unlike you he has a heart of gold.” up until I went no contact and started calling her out, she told the story of cheating on my dad as me saving her from an “abusive marriage” I was her hero for being involved, but now that I’m old enough to say it fucked me up I no longer have a good heart. I’m not longer a good person if I’m not holding her on a pedestal. You aren’t alone
This narc cannot wipe off the duper's delight from her face. She comes accross as an extremely gaslighting and emotionally sadistic person to be around.
It's like she's starring in her own SNL show where she cosplays being the perfect mother, who willingly sacrifices herself daily on the Cross of love for her daughter, but it never occurs to her to pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She's not angry that her daughter doesn't love her as she feels she deserves. She's angry that she realized she couldn't force her to. So sad.
Unconsciously she probably wishes she hadn't saved her daughter!! From the fact and tone of this self-absorbed woman's video she - deep down - wishes her daughter dead.
@@sallywillis1448mothers like this would rather their children be dead than no contact. It’s sick but it’s better than them facing any shame. If my kid stops talking to me I may be a bad parent, if my kid is dead I’m a victim. Twisted.
All narc parents say this. "Remember when I saved you from....." Not understanding that it's not an "I owe you", some debt to be repaid. Naturally you should want to keep your child from dying. If you have any empathy that is...
It almost sounded comical. A year later with a sad response letter starting with remember when I actually acted like a normal mother. 🤣I shouldn't laugh but it's crazy how this woman saw the end result of her video and still thought yep that'll look good and make me seem like a victim
"I was abusive? NO! My daughter is clearly mentally ill! She even admitted to having the ADHDs. The clear best course of action is to have her come back under my contr- care."
The thing is, I think many people who come from such abuse would be misdiagnosed with a plethora of mental disasters simply because they hadn't yet felt safe to express and process emotions. CPTSD can show itself in many forms. And modern healthcare (especially in the US as far as I know) would rather find many sicknesses than one. I heard an accusement of being autist or something like that from my narcissistic mom, but I went to a psychologist and conclusively disproved this for myself.
Hearing of the diagnoses of autism and ADHD goes a long way to understanding how the mother was able to manipulate so deeply for so long. Neurodivergent people are very prone to being gaslit and abused in a multitude of ways, intense guilt and shame are very frequently felt by many of us. 😢
Unfortunately, you're absolutely right. We neurodivergent folk are easy prey for narcissistic abusers. Only when you realize your own value and start unmasking, you are able to see the abuse clearly.
The way Diane talks about it is so sickening. She's just like "Huh! We didn't know! Anyway" when it's serious! If someone else diagnosed my child with something or noticed something was wrong when I didn't, I'd be devastated and frustrated with myself; but also grateful whatever it was was found out. But Diane is just like "We didn't know! Oops!" She doesn't care. At all.
Well they do love you but in the same way they love their car, you're a possession and one they can show off to friends, unless of course you don't live up to their expectations in which case they'll dump you and disown you.
I was so confused about what love is because my narcessistic mother always said "I love you" after her raging episodes. She used "because I love you" to validate all kinds of abuse. I grew to hate hearing "I love you." I didn't trust it.
My mother opened a text conversation between my sister and I, in which I was attempting to resolve our issues with ‘Im not judging you, I love you”…. When just her previous text to me was about me having victim mentality. When I tried to point that out in front of my sister, she went through, denial first, minimising, then blame/anger at me, shame… it’s just insane what they will do not to look at themselves
My mom used the “forgiveness” trope as a way to absolve herself from having to apologize to me personally. My mom “forgave herself” for how she treated me growing up. She also sent me links on how to forgive, as if I needed to forgive her, too. Amazing how she skipped the apology and went straight to throwing all that accountability out the window.
And this is why I refuse to go to church anymore. They’re flipping nuts thinking abusers like this deserve absolute forgiveness like “Jesus”. Nope that’s enabling the abuse and invalidating the victim and putting all the blame and responsibility on the wrong person when it should be the evil abuser. That ish is so harmful. I love God but toxic forgiveness is unacceptable 💯🤷🏼♀️
You just have to laugh at this woman, she's unbelieavable! I respect the daughter so much for walking away from this relationship, I hope she's doing well
With these videos; Diane has foundca a way to publicly and passively shame her daughter while playing the victim. This is more than abusive, its slander and libel.
There's a direct connection between the daughter talking about the estrangement on her tiktok and the mother making her TH-cam videos. The daughter said something publicly and now the mother feels compelled to lash out.
She is a mother that is hurting. I hope you never go through the same thing. And no, I don't have children in her age range. I am an outsider who is looking into the situation. All I see is people bashing the mother and almost revelling in her pain. I think it's crazy and sick.
@@reachhonduras8955 the mother is effectively telling a story that you believe: she is a victim of this situation. If you listen closely to what she says, she fully admits that she is incapable of completing the books on estrangement she’s reading because they would require her to take accountability and apologize to her daughter. She in her own words she “can’t stomach” apologizing, so her alternative is to paint herself as a victim and try to gain the sympathy of kind, understanding people such as yourself on the internet. Onlookers are rightfully being critical as they can recognize this same pattern in their own toxic caregivers.
Holy shit!!!! For someone with a late diagnosis of ADHD/Autism/CPTSD, this poor woman (the daughter). For those who arent affcted by these invisible disabilities, please understand that were are gaslit literally ALL THE TIME. Most of us are unable to work and lead "normal" lives. Im so glad she got her diagnosis in her 20s, she might be able to actually be comfortable in her own individual personality. Ive met people in their 30s, 40s, 50s who dont even know who they are because theyve been trained to please everyone but themselves. Ps Im in my 3rd time going no contact and its not easy. Power to all of you wonderful people! This video is EVERYTHING!!! Its been 2 years since ive spoken to them and im starting to process the darker parts of the abuse. THANK YOU EVERYONE ❤❤❤❤
One of the things that this woman fails to understand is that it is really difficult to give up on your family. I was in my 50s when I finally gave up. We inherently want to belong to a family. It takes a great amount of abuse to finally admit to yourself that these people don't love you and don't have your best interests at heart.
So true. I was 48, I regret not doing it much sooner. I was trying for nothing, turns out. I didn't understand until recently, when I found all this info and got therapy.
The fact that this deluded woman puts the whole situation into a video full of sentimental music and faraway looks, all designed to win sympathy for only one side of the story, speaks volumes alone. I'm really fascinated to know the daughter's side of the story - to see what type of person she is - but she's probably doing the right thing by saying nothing.
The mother might think she looks put upon, but she looks like the self absorbed, deluded, antagonistic nightmare of a mother that she is. Other narcs would be circling and salivating. It's really hard to say what the best course of action would be for this unfortunate daughter. Looks like a no win situation.
The daughter is definitely doing the right thing by no longer responding. She already said what she had to say, and her mother (and father) resoundingly discarded what she said. This whole video over the span of 3 years is just a sick, stubborn, pathological attempt to undermine their daughter and twist her words. They do not deserve a response to this flagrant smear campaign. At this point, her absence and silence is all they deserve. I hope the daughter is living her best life now, with people who show her genuine love, validation, and respect.
I hope people will see this and avoid advocating for children to take responsibility for reconnecting with parents. The parent is responsible. Parents shouldn't be looping others in. That's a red flag.
Yes. Did you see the people on the mother's channel talking about what a horrible daughter she has? And the mother lets all that up there for the world to see? That is just so nasty to do to your daughter. I hope so much her daughter heals.
Her frequent use of the word "betrayed" in relation to her daughter finally defending herself shows how entitled she feels to transgress her daughter's boundaries.
The real betrayal is the mom putting the daughter on blast on the internet. The daughter privately expressed herself to the mom/parents, and the mom puts on the internet to make her daughter look bad. Ironically, mom is showing how awful she and the dad are.
So true. Took me four decades basically, two years of which with a skilled therapist who specializes in victims of narcissistic abuse. I couldn't have left my mother without massive help. I still believed things could somehow still get better. It was a very painful process and still is sometimes, but so much better than the previous suffering.
@@pisceananarchyvortex7223my narc mom alienated us against our dad and is doing the same to my half brother and his dad. It’s fucked up. My dad is fucked he’s a crack head now who is homeless… but he’s selfish too but it’s wild I still have a sliver of empathy because she took everything from him by coaching us the kids against him. We hated him. It was only after I seen her marry the man she cheated with that I started seeing SHE abused them… and us. The older I got the more it was clear…
People like you saying stuff like this really makes victims of emotional abuse feel so valid and understood, even if it isn’t by the person we need it to come from the most, it still feels really good. So thanks for being amazing and reminding me and others we aren’t alone.
They missed the signs of autism and ADHD because they were so focused on themselves and their narcissistic needs. I’m so glad she got away. This video must have been the final confirmation she didn’t even need. Good for her 🙌 good riddance to them!!
I’m still f-ng furious that this ”mother” made this professionally made video. Not only that but she just outs the daughter totally to, well, everyone. The mentioning that the grandfather that the daughter had been close to had died but they didn’t hear anything is particularly crazy. But, she concedes, the daughter DID come to the funeral. Lady, not everything is about YOU.
You make an excellent point about how well produced the mom video is! She definitely did not just into her iPhone and upload. When I first watched the video, I thought the video was a satire or joke. The mom makes so many cringy comments! Are we sure that the mom is NOT an actress?
One til Tok person said it best and I’ll paraphrase it: ‘… if your child willingly makes themselves essentially an orphan rather than deal with the parent then that indicates how catastrophically you failed at the most important relationship in life’ = you completely sucked as a parent and a human. I’m coming from another daughter who went no contact with a malignant narcissistic mother and all her flying monkeys. Her constant smear campaign won’t end until she’s dead and I’ve accepted that. Best thing for me is to stay No Contact and keep the peace I finally found. Good riddance
That song - who called the English teacher Daddio? haha Tony Soprano jokes on that phrase in a parent teacher conference hahaha Ike Turner and the Kings of Rhythm covered that song...
I watched both videos. I commented on her video and told her she was mocking her own daughter. So then she creates that group you pay money to join, so she's found a way to exploit people in pain and make money. Totally on point for a narcissist.
@@NoNameToYou I agree with you on that! I have my own experience. I just meant there is no getting past the false self for any possible change or “cure”. The way they can ALWAYS wiggle themselves into a position that’s comfortable for them is fascinating now that I’m not having to deal with it on a daily basis.
I can confirm. I have no personal boundaries bc I have a mother similar to this woman. I went NC about 15 years ago to keep myself and my kids safe from her toxicity. She was a victim of everything and her moods were my fault. I was not allowed to be my own person. Your assessment of this woman has been helpful for me.
You have enough boundaries to go no contact. Please don’t discount how very brave that is. I’m sorry you had to do this, but you’re breaking the cycle. I’m proud of you for protecting yourself and your children.
I hope her daughter finds your videos and feels validated. Especially if she has seen her mother’s videos. That must feel awful to see so many bad parents agreeing in the comments and blaming Hayley.
What I think is really stunning is that without the analysis she comes over as polite and well spoken, I can see how people really get taken in by these sort of characters. We tend to think of bad people as being aggressive, rude etc. and people can be easily manipulated by the polite, mild mannered types.
She is well aware. The video is her exposing her daughter (ravenge), trying to gain sympathy (competition), and attempting to hide her nasty nature - and she fails terribly.
When she says that you can't help but blame yourself, I image that she wants someone to say, "No, no you are not to blame!" It seems like fishing for sympathy.
YES. She senses that accepting (at least SOME) responsibility is what normal people do, so she knows it would sound human if she claimed she did it. Same as how she repeatedly admits to being "not perfect" -that's narcissism 101. It is arguably the most multipurpose weapon to have in your arsenal if you're a narcissist. With it, you can: 1. pretend to have humility 2. avoid admitting to specific harmful behaviors 3. imply that anyone with grievances expects _perfection_ and is therefore the "real" control freak.
Sometimes I have entire conversations with my mom where it feels like I'm given a script and expected to react exactly as she wants..... what she wants is sympathy, pity, control, and for me to think exactly like her about every situation. When she asks for my opinion..... it's a trap!
I truly believe that she is absolutely loving this estrangement. She's getting off on the pitty party and attention from other narcissists. She literally made a pay subscription channel for estranged parents.
The mother's cold stiff smirk through the whole video - that is the most striking thing to me. She doesn't stop that cold smile at any point in the video. All the rest of these things are things that my own mother could have said or done, but that smirk sends chills down my spine. Her daughter dared to escape and she's smirking at the world. She smiles because she's getting back at her daughter - "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" Imagine growing up with a mother that looks at you with that self-satisfied smirk every time you give her a reason to be angry!
You don't have to be neglected, it can happen with a helicopter parent. That's how my mother was. Every fidget or weird thing I did got reprimanded. She "never saw the signs" because everything I did was simply something meant to irritate her, make her look bad, or something else relating to her and not me, the actual child. It wasn't like, oh yeah she doesn't sit still, interrupts, runs around all the time, only sleeps by passing out due to sheer exhaustion, can't tolerate homework or anything boring despite reading early and being highly intelligent- hey maybe she needs help? It was, you're doing this on purpose so stop. Sit down, shut up, act right. I actually did get diagnosed once, but she took it as a personal attack on her parenting skills by the doctor :) When you are so self focused, you don't even stop to wonder why others do things. It's just always personal, always about you.
I don't think it's always that simple as autistic parents won't think their autistic kids are different. Also our understanding of what it looks like in girls has advanced. That said I don't think those reasons apply here
I’ll let you know a personal anecdote about me, I went to the school doctor age 12 as I couldn’t read the blackboard in class and had more and more headaches. My mom didn’t believe me, refused for a year to get me glasses as I was clearly faking it and glasses made me ugly. Doctor had to convince her I couldn’t fake the test she was witness to. Second example age 17 I had a moped accident that was pretty severe. As I was conscious the cops thought it best to call my mom myself not to scare or alarm her so she wouldn’t panic driving over. I had a dislocated shoulder, all the skin was off my forearm as I scraped the asphalt after being launched and hurled through the air by the truck that hit me. I had broken two ribs that got diagnose at the hospital later, I was in so much pain, there was a lot of blood. My moms angry response on the phone that the cop handed me was annoyed and anger and if she really needed to come with a big annoyed sigh as she told me she was ironing. The ambulance people and the cops needed to convince her. They were astounded at her behavior.
That smile of contempt at about 40:20 mark says so much. She isn't interested in her daughter's reasons for withdrawing, nor is she concerned for her daughter's wellbeing. This has become an opportunity to deny responsibility for the situation she is in, present herself as a victim and make some money out of it. If she really cared about her daughter, contrition wouldn't be off the menu.
Wow, I feel triggered hearing her describe her daughter as an automatron on the phone given that Diane the ultimate automatron typed ''received'' in response to her daughter poring her heart out.
The daughter acting like an automaton sounds like grey-rocking, to me. She/they (if my sources are correct, the daughter uses they/them pronouns) has likely given up on any sort of emotional engagement with her/their birth-giver, as her/their mother will just invalidate any feelings and/or weaponize them and throw it back in her/their face. Other people's emotions are irrelevant to a narcissist, they're just something to be manipulated to the narc's benefit.
Imagine one day Haley decides to try contact with Diane and Ted again, comes over, sees a bunch of nice new stuff around the house. "Wow, how did you guys afford all this?" "Oh, we uh, we started a subscription website and it's doing well." "Ah, cool. What's it about?"
The wide eyed glee full smirk through out is so obviously her mask … and children of narcs know how chilling the ignited fury and absolute contempt is when the mask is abandoned 😢
Showing her daughter's baby pictures and sharing her name - SO insensitive, intrusive, and UNSAFE! She's actually making her daughter very vulnerable and unsafe exposing her identity! OMG, if my narc mother did this, I would have a nervous breakdown! This mother is cruel and I daresay dangerous!
I wanted to see what the daughter had to say and she popped up right away online. There's even something about estranged daughter online with her name. Scary.
My mother self-published a memoir about me earlier this year, included (without my permission) a letter I wrote in which I described a SA that took place when I was a minor, and thanked my therapist of 8 years in the last chapter… by name 🙃 channels like these are genuinely the only thing standing between me and complete psychic collapse right now
@@oliviagruwell4466 oh my god, that's so violating, I'm so sorry you have to experience that. You most certainly don't deserve it. I know it's not much, but I'm sending you positive energy as hard as I can concentrate right now. You survived, you will survive. You're strong because you had to be, but it is your greatest strength. Despite everything, you still persist, take pride in that. You'll be the one winning in the end, not her.
The inappropriate smiling is my biggest red flag with my family. It's venomous. It poisoned my concept of love, empathy, mirroring, ECT. It took me ages to shed that creepy feeling. Hailey, I feel you, girl! You are so very not along in this difficult path through life.
I do the inappropriate smiling… especially when talking about tough topics… they make me uncomfortable everybody is different but at the same time I may have picked it up from my narc mother so..
@@BakedBrain7100 interesting. Now that you mention it, I can think of times when I smile when I'm uncomfortable. Like an internal cringe. I wonder what the difference is, if any. Sorry about your mum. It's hard breaking cycles, I know it. ❤️
I was adopted by people like this. Any adult child who goes no contact (which I also did in my early 30s) hopes for nothing more than that these “parents” will change. That they will realize that they hurt us and will genuinely apologize - but they won’t. Instead they will be angry with you, and badmouth you others.
I can relate, this also gives them a whole extra dimension of ammunition, judgement, manipulation etc, a horrible situation. I hope things are improving for you
@@kg6801 no ammunition or manipulation unless you let them. That’s why it’s best to just walk away. I think it is harder for people who aren’t adopted, as they might actually love their parents and might be more upset not talking to them.
@@indiabilly In my mind, they're sitting in their little groups. Getting supply from each other in a toxic circle jerk. Plotting against the rest of us.:D
I perceive her video as a revenge-video against her daughter..just passive-aggressive. But instead of showing how sorry everyone should be for the mother, it just shows how difficult it must have been for the daughter.
“I owe you nothing! If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you're supposed to do! Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me like I will owe my son if I ever have another.” I’ve always loved this line from the movie, Guess who’s coming to dinner.
this isn't healthy either tho. Women aren't baby slaves just because they have kids. A healthy family has balance and mutual respect, caring for each other.
@@susannatuttapanna2010 who said anything about baby slaves? The line was actually directed at the father. Your children are not responsible for your happiness. Ever.
I remember my mother saying "God, I'm good to you!". I flatly said back "You're my mother. Your supposed to be good to me". Her face was one of shock and disbelief. It had honestly never occurred to her.
When my son was 20, he called me and told me his acting teacher mentioned his voice was repressed in class and he had trauma to work through. I knew this was true because I had been a codependent in a relationship with a narcissist (at that time was still married to his father.) and there had been increasing disfunction in our family. Anyway, because I had been doing so much work trying to make my marriage work and our family healthy, I had the knowledge and deep empathy for my son. He was so distressed and I listened patiently, apologized for anything he mentioned, asked him if there was more and told him I was so glad he had shared with me. I think that moment was extremely healing for our relationship and of course, the important thing was my son felt heard. I'm so happy I didn't get defensive......after all we've been through, I just want my children to be happy and healthy. I'm also very lucky they supported me when I divorced their father.
Well done! I am so proud of you. You are so self aware. I feel that we share a similar story. My son is 7 and I after learning about my codependency to my narsicist partner, had to do a lot of self reflection. I discovered that I was not a present mother for my son due to my dissociation and trauma from my own childhood . My sons feelings were not my priority. I learned to repress my own feelings all my life. Thankfully we are much happier now. We are moving out in two months. I apologised to my son in age appropriate way. I am focused on his happines now. He is doing really well . He comes with his problems because he feels safe with me. He is much happier. We are the closest we have ever been. Change is possible. Knowledge is power. Love❤
The birthday part?! Your reaction / analysis was great. “Your birthday is really important to me too! … I get myself a present.” Wow. If that isn’t revealing idk what is.
I really, really hope Hailey stumbles on to this TH-cam channel some day; both for the validation she will probably feel, but also I think your channel will be an awesome resource for her. Dear Hailey, We are behind you 1000%.
She is just so pissed that she's lost control of her daughter. All this manipulative talk is an attempt to regain control - via shaming and obligation.
That long litany of "I can't make her..." summed up by "I can't make her do anything." How infuriating that must be for a manipulative narcissist who is used to making everyone around her do anything she wants. No wonder she lashed out online. She wants to force her adult daughter to "behave" through public shaming.
All holidays, but especially birthdays- especially their own. They always use "obligatory" celebrations as a chance to make everything all about themselves and control everyone. (The covert narcs will do it under the thinly veiled guise of it being about others, but it never is.)
It also feels clear that she can’t identity with her daughter as anything other than a baby or a small child. No pictures or conversation of her daughter as a full fledge adult with her own thoughts, identity and life.
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Here's part one! th-cam.com/video/G-DS5ofYiUU/w-d-xo.html
1:05:16 I burst out laughing at the expression on your face. This video has actually been fun to watch because of the revulsion this woman inspires in all of us but especially you. You probably had to take a long hot shower after making this.
The mother is going live on her channel tomorrow if I’m not mistaken,ought to be interesting to say the least
@@mlebrooks I think they see them as rivals
@@tx-sweet-pjg3547omg what’s her channel name? Link if possible
LiveAbuseFree is a qualified and experienced psychologist. Just like a doctor does not have to experience a sickness or pharmacist doesn't need to have tried every pill to do their job, psychologist is better placed to analyse interpersonal relations than people who are experiencing them.
She's also angry because she no longer has control over her daughter. Her daughter took back her own control and shut her out. And making her daughter's b-day all about herself is absolutely next-level narcissism. Everything always has to be about her. No wonder her daughter left!
Nothing angers a narcissist like someone knowing their games and refusing to play.
My mother controlled my birthday celebration for years until I finally refused to go along with her plans & then she started hitting back by either telling other family members not to contact me or deliberately withholding their cards. On the last one before her death I had gone no contact for over two years but she sent me a card about her illness to make me feel guilty
Making it about herself AND admitting it to her audience. The full narcissism on display is in the total lack of self awareness.
@@9lavender100%. The day I realized I was the mouse to her cat was the beginning of the end for me. I didn’t consent to be part of the Squid Games.
Also, why do we need to see her walking round her lovely home, smacks of “look at how successful I’ve been”? Can’t imagine why the daughter doesn’t want anything to do with her😱🤔
A narcissist parent views us going no contact as a battle of wills, when it’s really just their child attempting to stop the pain.
Yes! 💯.
That's so spot on! It's because they're projecting and so think everyone is obsessed with their own ego, like they are.
So accurate
It's part of some people's mental illness to blame everyone else and never be able to take responsibility or even feel a sense that they can have an internal locus of control.
Same with a narc ex!
"I couldn't stomach the contrition" is the most narcissistic phrase I've ever heard!
💯, I feel like that moment is the core of her whole personality, and likely the central issue in her relationship with her daughter. If this was a completely different scenario and I heard someone say those words in another context I would still absolutely think they were a narcissist
There it is, its like she read that part and was like " I have to be contrite??"
I spoke to a woman who admitted to me her daughter doesn't speak to her. Discussing parenting I talked about apologizing to my daughter when it's necessary and this woman completely disagreed. She was adamant that you don't apologize to your children. That told me right there who this woman was.
@@TannerSalcido Had a similar experience. Her son ghosted and blocked her on all social media. In a discussion about disciplining children, I said "it helps if you can recognize the child's personhood." She tried to fight me on that.
Tbf, the contrition can’t stomach her either! It’s hard to alienate a concept, but Diane could pull it off 🤢!
That fact she says that her daughter was the one who remembered everyone’s birthday just tells you how considerate the daughter is as a person
Two self absorbed parents. Asperger's may push you away from hugs and things.,, That doesn't mean that you give up, but means that you keep trying to get close on their terms. I speak from experience. You can spot a narcists sometimes by the fact that their own birthday is such a focus. lol Mom wants to be a you tube star.
Narcissistic mothers see their children as an extension of themselves..
And she is proving this 100%.
They raised her to be codependent. Nothing to brag about
@dariamancini963 some people are thoughtful and considerate- they exist!! But yes narc parents have you so fearful you do end up always over thinking and being a pleasing child
And an admission by mom that she doesn't remember important dates.
The mother is sinister and evil. To start an email with 'I saved your life when I could have let you die as a baby' is sickening.
That’s what narcissistic mums say . I should of had you adopted when you were born or had an abortion . These people are sick 🤢
Weird way to say 'the time I left you partially /fully unattended with sthg that I shouldn't have left with you but noticed just in time...'
literally putting responsibility on a baby to care for themselves! wtf@@lindseywright8278
As if that was some kind of astoundingly heroic moment and not the bare minimum.
yeah and also that that is the most recent event she can think to use too, like the daughter is grown now and we dont have more examples@@NadiraJamal
It's not just what she's saying. The Hollywood level production of her video is unbelievably creepy. The manipulation in the dramatic bgm, staged shots, her posing... she's created a smear movie, it's chilling. Imagine being targeted like this by your mother or any family member. Too many awful parents are applauded for publicly shaming and bullying their children because of a private personal problems.
Her "movie" is so glaringly narcissistic, it almost deserves an Oscar...except Oscar's usually go to convincing performances. We all saw through this lady's BS. She's a terrible actress
Seriously, why is it so professional? Does this woman do this sort of thing otherwise?
Agreed! It is professional! If only she had put as much time & energy into honestly responding to her daughter as she put into the video. It's got a soundtrack, artsy camera placements, reenactments (emphasis on "act") and special visual and sound effects!
Her only private, personal problems are having parents like that!
I couldn't agree more. 💯🙏
I hope her daughter sees this video. I hope she sees that her mother hasn’t duped everyone. That we get it and her feelings are valid.
I came on to say the same thing!!
Me too, this would be so validating for the daughter.
I was thinking that as well.
Me too mum mums a narc .
I hope so too. I've had about three years of therapy and this video is the most validating part of my recovery in over 3 years.
Dear Hailey, I doubt you’ll see this but just in case
I hope instead of being embarrassed you can see this almost as a gift. Your mom is outing herself to the entire internet as a narcissist. We can all see. You have all of us on your side. You have an army behind you.
We can ALL see through her.
The sad thing is Hailey is probably cringing for her mom because she probably still loves her mom and deep down what she wants is for her mom to acknowledge how much she failed her and work on changing. I see her as just working to accept reality but still wishing it wasn’t her reality.
Yes it will be good for her to finally be validated but I agree she will feel shame on her mothers behalf . The mother is so tone deaf to it all she has no idea how much her narcissism leaks ....it probably re triggers the daughter. Narcissism is a scourge
Yeah if Hailey is seeing this she’s probably feeling validated but also deeply sad that this is her reality. These videos are probably hitting her like a ton of bricks of sadness as she sees how incapable her mother is of empathy and love. But hopefully it’s also easing any guilt or uncertainty she might be feeling at the decision she has made.
Me too Haley,we relate with you ,we’ve been through it as well,I pray for you the same healing I’ve found ,peace,joy and success in your life ♥️🕊🤠🙏
Yes and we all are aware it has been painful to live with her. I hope you can fill your days with love, compassion and purpose.
Her eyes are not expressing grief. They are expressing pleasure. She is gleaning narcissistic supply from these videos.
Elation, even!
Indeed! She has this smirk during the entire video.
Indeed. She seems overjoyed by the attention
Yes! When she mentioned that she had received so many comments, her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, and her blink rate escalated through the roof.
@@mads597I see that i'm dealing with an erudite.
The father saying, “She doesn’t care if we’re alive or dead.” Really bothered me. Like, she called you when she thought you might die.
Facts don’t matter if they don’t support the narrative. My mom can be this way. Not this bad, thankfully, but she has these tendencies.
yeah and mean while the only awareness they have of her health is thru tiktok and then they only use her diagnosis to justify them treating her like shes defective still. DANG this video hurt my soul. Hope daughter has the best support group of ppl in her life
They are stupid and don't know or don't want to see what caring is. I am 100% sure their daughter cares. She is just exhausted from the negativity
its a phraseology ..a play on words to mean their daughter doesn't care either way.
Also, that kind of thing is a two-way street. Unless they're actively spying on her, how do they know if she's alive or dead? And why does it not matter if they don't care enough to check on her, but it's a heinous crime for the daughter to not check in with them?
They knew they were in the wrong when they took her lack of replies as a personal sleight instead of thinking "maybe something is wrong, maybe she needs our help" - y'know, like a normal loving family member would. In a truly innocent scenario (as the parents try to paint this as being) her silence could've meant that she was in a coma, or kidnapped, or dead. Anyone truly innocent would be questioning why they'd not had a reply without immediately jumping to the "she's being horrible" line.
They are supposed to be parents and yet they expect their daughter to show more parental responsibility than they do. Disgraceful.
She "found" her Tiktok because she went looking for it. She "combed through all the comments looking for any mention of us" is the most overt admittance of her narcissism. Utterly grotesque. Can't imagine how vulnerable and stalked the daughter felt and feels. Now that her trauma has been exposed to hundreds of thousands of people. It's perverted and wrong.
Yep, and this is why even though I have my relatives on fb I never post anything personal. Not saying her daughter shouldn't, I just find it's the only way to keep them from stalking you.
Yes, the mother is just awful. But in a way, her conduct is helpful to the daughter in that it provides more evidence of the mother's sick, delusional reality. Very painful, but pushes the daughter to keep her distance.
@nschone7492 and they definitely do stalk it's second nature to the narcissist especially covert, malevolent, manipulative type!
Yes and that’s the point
@@nschone7492I can’t even be on Facebook or do anything with my real name online for this very reason
This mother is LOVING every moment of this. The smear campaign, holding herself up as the ultimate victim, starting a group where she can lord over all the other horrible parents (at a hefty price).
Perfect comment. God bless
The dynamics in that group would be wild. “I’m the biggest victim!” “No, me!”
@@b.f.2461nah, they'll get along as long as they have a common enemy. They'll just bounce ideas off each other and share way to abuse and ways to lie believably, what to watch out for.
As a day time tv enjoyer, what’s the price 🤣 maybe I’ll cancel one of my streaming services and just go there 😂
You know her “group” is just one big echo chamber 🤣🤣
I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is one big smear campaign against the daughter on a huge scale, and it's sickening. I'm glad that channels like this exist to expose these people.
It backfired, even on her own channel. People have become very aware and vocal. It's good.
The smeariest! 😅
She has another TH-cam channel called Dork Lady Travels. Did she want her daughter traveling with her everywhere?
Absolutely right!
@@rwdchannel2901 Wow. AMEN
My heart goes out to the daughter. "Diane" calling her daughter "dead inside" when she wasn't even on the call is another level of sick. I'm starting to believe that parental estrangement groups are where the narcissists hang out.
..... and pay Diane and Ted $200 to hang out there.
It probably is where the narcissists hang out. Whenever someone says that their children will have nothing to do with them, and starts complaining about it, my very first guess is that the individual speaking is toxic and ruined their own relationship with their child, but does not have the self-awareness to see it.
Maybe in a few random, bizarre situations it is otherwise, but mostly I think it is just the parent outing themself as having been a horrible parent and not realizing they are outing themself.
The sad thing is, the mother is probably surrounding herself with so many other clueless parents that they are just all stewing in their own lack of awareness, and will never truly do what it takes to heal their relationships.
I hope that if the daughter sees this it helps her in her healing process.
@@m.e.3614This! I saw the video of this woman & the comment section alone is a sh*it show. So many others like her commenting. There was just one mother writing about how she understands that her daughter needs the space and that she’s in therapy herself now & taking accountability. I wrote her back she’s a unicorn & many of us children would love to see our parents go that way too, but sadly this will be not reality for most of us. I love how the awareness of this kind of parents has raised over the last couple of years and continues. I really hope the next step for society is to not blame the children but instead asking the parents what they did to make their child go no contact. I myself still don’t talk much about it and find myself stumbling around with words when someone asks me about my parents bc there are still many ppl with no awareness regarding this topic.
@@m.e.3614 very well stated.
@@desertcat4193 Thank you so much.
It's funny because she went through all of this "searching for answers". But every time an answer showed up, she just completely turned a blind eye. She searched for a way to make her daughter wrong. She searched for a way to validate her own victimhood. This mother is a manipulative monster.
Unfortunately, that's what it's all about for them. They only want someone to tell them they did nothing wrong. They'll tell it to themselves if no one else will.
Exactly right!
She's not looking for solutions, she's looking for sympathy.
They ALWAYS search for how to be right.
This was clear when she said that she scanned that book and couldn’t stomach the chapter on amends. Like she can’t imagine having any role in what’s happened
Wow, the mother is a gaslighting narcissist if ever there was one. Her supply is gone and she is hitting the "streets" online to find a new supply.
The daughter is wise and strong to remove herself from her very toxic mother.
She’s enlisting an army of online flying monkeys
If I were her daughter I would block her from my online accounts.
She’s really spinning her wheels trying to provoke a response and gain sympathy.
Wow. I never even thought of that! Do you think that's why she wants to get back in contact with her daughter? Because her fuel was good? I find that us autistic folks don't really give very good narc fuel because we don't react 'normally,' if we even react at all. I suspect the mother's facade was centered around being a 'good mom,' so now her facade has been burnt to the ground.
Very well said!!!!
She buys herself a present on her daughters birthday 😂 That is incredible! What a piece of work this woman
I thought she was going to say she sent her some money or donated to a charity the daughter would approve of. Buying a present for herself shows how narcissistic she is.
One of the many red flags in that video. I couldn’t believe what I heard. And just the *way* she said it…like the daughter had destroyed this saintly mother and the utter despair caused by the daughter drove the saintly mother to the desperate act of having to actually go out and buy herself a well-deserved birthday gift due to the daughter’s cruel treatment of her. And yet there are many commenters providing her supply and perhaps overlooking the red flags maybe because they think the mother’s actions are coming from sincerity and devotion.
@@5apph1b1u3I'm willing to bet the mother's supporters are narcessists too, and they are only seeking their own validation through supporting her b.s.
This way my favourite part of the whole thing. Nothing says it better.
It’s so good to hear non-narcissistic people say that this is weird because in isolation, it makes me feel so guilty to hear someone bought themselves a present because they were sad.
I’ve just fallen for these kind of people’s lies for so long, and hearing better answers helps so much.
We are a bunch of strangers and it seems like we all can so clearly see this mother for who she is. I hope that’s really validating for Hailey.
yes I hope so because one can spend a long time asking oneself , Am I the narcissist? when you finally get clear youre not, great healing can come
Yeah, good for Hailey. Feels strange being so informal with someone who I do not know, but anyway, it takes tremendous strength to break away from your own mother, especially as a daughter, I would imagine. It also does not appear as though Hailey had any "ace in the hole," so-to-speak, an inside agent like a like-minded cousin, father, sibling, teacher/coach (might be unprofessional a little bit), nobody around who saw the mother for who she was, and in-turn lovingly guided/assisted Hailey in arriving at her own self-evident conclusion about her parents. Surely, the vindictive, childish narcissist mother would've outed anyone She believed "betrayed" her/built camp/"brainwashed" her daughter. Thst her mother didn't have anyone else to 'out' was actually pretty fucking sad to me, as.it meant that poor girl was completely alone, likely believing she was crazy a lot of the time, believing maybe SHE was the narcissist, SHE was the bad daughter, etcetera...with no close family member who similarly figured mom out to help her. She was likely totally alone, and that is shitty. Hailey is obviously a very driven and tough girl, good for her.
Holding against someone the fact that you saved them from choking as a child... ma'am, that's called _the bare minimum_ . "Sorry, mom, I guess I shouldn't have choked and put you through all of that." 🤦♀️
Right?! Like, that's literally want parents are SUPPOSED to do. Only a narcissist parent wants a trophy for actually managing to keep their kids from dying a early death
Or perhaps she thinks it was too good the girl was saved
She says in her email that she wasn't watching her daughter at the time, and then noticed she was lying on her back with her arms and legs flailing about. It's funny how most mothers would hate that memory because of the terror they would have felt that their baby could die. They'd feel guilty for the fact they had taken their eyes off them and not seen what was happening straight away.
this is what i thought to, like she would feel some shame. its crazy to use that as leverage without feeling responsibility for the cause of the choking. had a paralyzed grandma with a partially working arm and she choked on a piece of burger one time and my mom spent hours with her massaging her neck and helping her remove extra saliva from the incident, she always cut up her food to tiny bits but was still ashamed as if she did something wrong bc she let grandma use her one arm to eat (grandma prefers this) and it was really scary for her (was like 5 when it happened.) @@LiveAbuseFree
@@ptlovelight2971 Mine told me I was ungrateful, she said no one would ever love me, I remember being so afraid of her and hiding under my first bunk bed (I was about 3, I remember the rage and the sudden switch when I wouldnt come out. I thought I was the one broken.. Its her. N/C for about 20 years plus.. I dont think she thinks of me. Im certain new people in her life dont know about me
Never imagined I’d see a mother so much like my own receiving any kind of critique
i heard that. this movement is a dream COME TRUE. i recently saw my own mother in an indie-channel expose on abusers. the guy with the camera called her "nasty" to her face. let her know he saw right through her and that the world would now get to see. i thought of all the times i wanted to stand up to her ..and of the times i tried and she sent me to jail and to the psych ward. that vid had me crying in vindication.
JUSTICE is the real treatment for depression.
It helps to feel validated, at least once.
Yep 🤣
I know I am over the moon with this 😂 you need to hear it , because sometimes you get tricked into going back
Mine too. The similarities are stunning.
The way that mother is smilling all the time, even when she says how hurt she it, is very telling
Creepy isn‘t it? Like a dog showing their teeth when they are aggressive.
My mother does this too. I'm far closer to Diane's age than to her daughter's age fwiw but my mother wanders around with the "content" expression the whole time, like it's staplègunned on. I take my hat off to haley because I was 47 when I sent my first letter. It was ignored. I was told by my content-faced mother that if I showed respect I could be part of the family. I tried to refer back to the letter and got the cold shoulder. I was only smeared to relatives!! This permanent smile is deranged. Like no matter what is happening, the smile must go on. Loving these videos. Most videos detail situations that are too extreme, and then I feel a bit guilty for relating to them, even partially.
@@teachersusan3730I think it's like showing your neck (human style). I'm no threat, I'm no threat. So grrrrrr don't challenge me. Don't dig deep. Accept my loveliness at face value and back off.
The only time she wasnt smirking was when she was angry that her daughter had 'fans' aka people not being overly critical of her. Any normal parent would be happy to see she was connecting with others and having positive relationships like it's such a red flag that this is the only time she looked unhappy in the video
@@SusanaXpeace2uoh like when a dog makes you think they're nice because they wag their tail and then they bite when you pet them lol
Both of Hailey's parents are self-absorbed narcissists who seem to feed off of each other. Their poor daughter...Hailey, if you are reading this I 100% support you!!
Yes I agree. Both parents are narcissists.
I noticed that as well. The father came across as angry to me.
for sure, Hailey, we got you!!
Yep I agree 👍
I was really hoping that this wasn't the case, that maybe it was only the mother. That's the hardest thing, always hoping that one of them might snap out of it and turn out to be the kind of person you needed.
The fact that she labels the daughter’s letter as “angry” tells it all. Anger is a secondary emotion due to feeling hurt, betrayed, humiliated, shamed, unsupported and so forth. She needs to investigate those other possible emotions before saying another word.
And it’s assigning the villain role to the victim (DARVO). “My daughter is angry , but I am sad.”
It's all about projection... Funny enough, when I set some solid boundaries with my narc I got a , kid you not: "Don't be authoritarian!!! I DON'T ACCEPT this!!"
Yeah… I had a situation recently where I was framed as “angry” when I wasn’t. I had no emotions about it, it was just a simple yes or no situation. Nothing to get upset about. It’s a deflection technique for sure. (Lots of other clues in the dynamic, sometimes a person is seething with rage and trying to deny it.)
Yes! And she seems to have forgotten the number of times she's admitted to being angry herself!
i bet anything that is a MAGA mom and dad
“She talked like she was dead inside, like a robot or automaton…”
It’s called gray rock 🙄 but she even weaponized that.
When I first started to gray rock my BPD/narc mother, she claimed that I was emotionally abusing her 🙄
Never heard that phrase. Thanks for sharing.
Of course she was dead inside. Mom ..you helped cause that deadening.
@@zylacicyeah 🙄 They’ll do that 🙄
My mother would always lose her $4it when I'd grey rock. It starves them of supply. They can't handle it.
It's the smile... that sick, evil, smirk gives it away every time
YESSSSS.
She is relishing what she's doing to her daughter. Revelling in her 'victimhood.'
😂😂😂
This and her creepy eyes.. 👀
It’s almost like “duper’s delight” and it’s creepy.
This woman is so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh. The violin music is killing me 😂
I'm glad that she is at least showing everybody exactly why her daughter cut contact, even in the attempt to denigrate her.
It’s funny because it’s so damn obvious. We see through her.
She'll need a lot more strings to get me to take her seriously.
MORE STRINGS
😂
The violin music, yes!
It's like a shower of strings.
Back in the day, there was a way of expressing when you think someone is being very self pitying and you want to sort of joke them out of it - they would pretend to play a violin.
Like, instead of air guitar, it was air violin.
And this vlog mother has actual violin music in this video, and probably is oblivious to the irony.
Gentle LOL.
This lady should get some hobbies and learn to practice happiness.
To not be triggered by the mother I had to lean into the absurdity of it too. The music, the long shots of her drinking tea and contemplating life, it's all too much 🤢 😬😆
@@ideaWorld403she could have just started a vlog channel about her fabulous Lake Tahoe retirement life since she loves the camera so much.
I’m gonna send her some cheese to go with her whine 😂
The daughter’s boundaries and self-care are diligent and admirable.
Has anyone ever noticed that these narcissists always talk about the good old days, back in the day, when their kid was little? Back when they were younger and didn’t have their own opinions. Back when they were compliant little copies of themselves.
Narcissists only tolerate you when you don’t push back and question them.
Once a child grows up and deviates from the parents all of a sudden it’s a huge problem.
I personally love seeing my kids grow and develop into their own people. Narcissists…not so much. They see it as a threat.
Agreed. I have family that continually brings out old videos and doesn't allow you to be different from that time. Video of when I was 20 and now 48 is a vast chasm of time and change.... I get tired of what "used" to happen and can only handle so much nostalgia. we live in the present always....
Bingo. I’ll forever be a child to my dad. He’s 82 I’m almost 42.
It is convenient.
Exactly. My mother discarded me emotionally when I was about 5 years old. The “good times” were before I could speak and they could care for me-or not-however they wanted to.
My mother would frequently tell me: "You use to be my little sweetheart, until you started to hate me at only 6 years old." (As if I suddenly became a demon seed at 6 years old or something.)
I later learned that 6 years old is when a child's developing psyche first begins to separate from their mother, use their own reasoning mind, and assert independence.
Yeah, narcessists don't like that.
she turned her video into a major film production... the music, the typewriter sound, the DRAMA. I bet she fancies herself to be a great ...everything. she is the star of her own production.
Yup and the showing off all the rooms in her house
Yes, her videos are edited well, I won’t criticise her for the re-enactments snd old footage spliced in. It all worked well for a creator's first videos! So I can see how this woman is probably very well liked as an acquaintance. This is my mother, she is more popular, invited everywhere, everybody says hello to her, but she has no close friends that's she's had for years. I have never seen such a doppelganger of my mother on screen!!
@joanbaczek2575 yes, nice house, nice view!! And she looks good in leggings!!
@@joanbaczek2575and the cup with pills in the forefront.
Classic narcissistic.
She's not just showing how loving she was with the baby - she's also parading how she looked when she was young. Parents like this will often display the very best photos of themselves and use any excuse to do so.
That's a very good point!
This! 💯💯
I grew up with undiagnosed ADHD and was finally diagnosed as an adult.
When I told my mom, she asked me how I felt about the diagnosis, she apologized for not seeing the symptoms when I was a kid, and asked me questions about what it means for me now.
My heart breaks for their daughter that she doesn’t get this kind of basic love from her parents. I hope she’s finding peace and support in her community that she’s made.
Glad you have a diagnosis. It sounds like your mom is supportive. ❤
I wish I'd had your mom. What a gift. She sounds like such a lovely woman ♡
My mum just wails about how she has three children with mental problems 🤷🏼♀️
That her mother paid SO little attention to her that she didn’t have an inkling about the autism and ADHD, yet her response was not like your Mothers… to apologize for dropping the ball. Your mother accepted some responsibility for that error. Good for her. 😊
My father got mad and told me there's no such thing as ADHD and I just don't eat right or exercise enough etc🤦🏻♀️Bit of a slap on the face after decades of raging and criticizing me for being the way I am.
And there it is-- insulting the daughter's hobbies. Those tiny microaggressions that they struggle so desperately to minimize are actually kind of a big deal. And it was ultimately the reason why I went no contact with my entire family.
Like Janice in The Sopranos putting down Bobby's train hobby.
Makes me wonder how many micro aggressions the daughter had to put up with growing up until she finally had enough.
Hugs!!
@@G-L-O-R-I-AI’m sure it’s countless. The issue is these parents want examples when you try to explain your feelings, but how can I compound every single passive aggressive comment you’ve made to me for my whole life?
@@bluecollarlitThis is a great example. He wasn’t hurting anyone and it made him happy.
"Grieving the relationship with her mother that she will never have." Anyone who has gone through this ... this phrase says it all. It is very painful and difficult to accept that a key, primal relationship will just never be okay.
You argue with yourself about it forever… the internal guilt like maybe I am to blame and then the sudden realization that you couldn’t be when you were just so young. Hugs from my inner child to yours
I'm so glad it doesn't bother me anymore. For many years I feared the wound would never heal without her doing something, at least acknowledging it, literally _anything._ A knife in my heart with her hand secured around the blade, twisting it constantly. A gaping hole where my mother should be, instead filled with her dagger.
Therapy, getting on the right meds, and cutting her out of my life helped massively (right now very low contact, because she's chilled out).
Gave me the time to slowly take the dagger out myself and train myself to stop thinking about her.
Then time to slowly introduce thinking about her, vaguely, briefly.
Now I can finally think about her and even talk to her about random stuff as if I only met her 2 years ago. A random woman who bought my family home after my parents died, helping me out by letting me keep my stuff there still, and who I can have shallow conversations with.
Thankfully my mom isn't a full blown narcissist,she doesn't have a personality disorder or anything, she just ends up acting like one...mainly just a terrible mother, due to her own messed up brain, trauma and failures. She doesn't love bomb and doesn't ask for love. She doesn't pretend to love me. She's fine treating me like a stranger and vice versa, no matter how much it hurts me.
I'll never have a mother, I've been forced to accept that. But it used to be a gaping wound, stabbed every time I thought about it. With her twisting the knife every chance she got. Like, so painful I couldn't breathe or think about anything besides how desperately I wanted her to pull the knife out. 😔
And to think that I have it easy compared to so many people. If my mom was any worse I would be no contact for life, 100%.
My Dad is like Ted. He hasn't really dug deep in to the dynamic, he just backs up my mother. My mother's interpretation is gospel. When I asked my mother to stop labelling me sensitive and paranoid, my mother was super defensive and my Dad came over to my house to reprimand me for ''hurting mum''. I'm so so so glad you're doing these videos. It's so validating. Because these things are so subtle. Everybody I know thinks my parents are LOVELY. Only a very few people get it.
sounds like he's her flying monkey
Your dad doesn’t want to dig deep and he doesn’t need to. He’s allowed it all to happen. You deserve better. Don’t let him off the hook.
I get the same response. Can't handle any emoting. Any demonstration is selfish, unfair, too upsetting to my mother and bothers my dad. They will just hang up the phone on me or cut me off the instant they feel uncomfortable - never mind what situation I'm dealing with this and generally I communicate with a lot of empathy and self awareness. Never blaming anyone. But if I don't have wonderful nes to share l'm immediately invalidated/eliminated.
Yep, the old” “it’s you, you’re too sensitive “ line
@Zoehh473 OMG yes!
I remember she said she read a book or watched vids about kids who cut contact but then decided it required too much concessions on her part. That was hilarious and a perfect example of how a narc can do no wrong or make concessions
Omg yes! I laughed so loud at that! My partner was startled and jumped lmaooo. It’s like, yeah your inability to show contrition is a big reason why your daughter wants nothing to do with you. So this checks out.
Exactly!! They feel entitled to do and say anything they have done, and can't admit any tiny bit of fault or apologize, because they REALLY believe they did nothing wrong... 'so why should they compromise, right?' ...
Compromising means that they need to see the other person as an equal, and they CAN'T lose ANY of that power over someone... they always need to be best, better, more, on top... humility is not in their repertoire...
True! But I don’t think she actually even read the entire book - just scanned the TOC to get to what she thought was relevant and then when she didn’t like what it said (the ‘too much concessions’ hassle) she bailed on the book entirely.
She said that it required too much contrition on her part.
Yes, that part where she brought the book with her, but didn't read it...
She thinks of her daughter's birthday as the day SHE became a mother? OH my god. I had never even considered this. My kids' birthdays are THEIR days. She has her own birthday to celebrate.
I found that ridiculous too. It’s all about her in her mind 😢
The Stepford Mother: the sickly-sweet sing-song voice, the permanent fake beneficent smile, so desperate to hide the vile, vindictive, envious, face that her daughter sees behind closed doors. Her lack of self-awareness is beyond staggering. A highly astute analysis of this smiling Momster. 👍
This is so well described. Perhaps this affect shown by the mother is what ensnares the sympathetic commenters. They fall for the sing-song voice and fake beneficent smile. While those of us who can see through it, are repulsed.
100%
@@5apph1b1u3yeah, I used to want to believe the lies and see the best in people. I’m finally over that.
So true. Ironically I call mine a momster too.
Great perception of what’s going on here. Her “parents” are vile! Even after her diagnosis of ADHD & autism, they’re STILL playing the victim. She’s far better off without these perpetual victims. Go, Hailey, & never look back!
My jaw actually dropped when the mom said her diagnosis could maybe explain her daughters behaviors. Jesus, woman.
Yes!!! That part really got me too.
Yep all narc mums say that it’s all about them
As an autist, that was infuriating.
My dad, very narcissistic, just denied my autism. He yelled at the pshychologists who evaluated me as a teen, and also wrote a letter claiming their diagnosis was wrong because he and his family are perfect. He was never part of raising me, very neglectful, so couldn't know anything about how I was.
Also, whole lot of my dad's family are very narcissistic, one of my uncles are malignant and been to prison for physical abuse.
I just watched the video about the epidemic of estrangement and she said really sneerily "everybody's got adhd" and rolled her eyes
And this is why I didn't reveal my autism diagnosis to my narc sister, whom I was living with for years. She suspected it though. But our relationship was so fractured by that point, I would never trust her with such sensitive information about me
My father's cousin disappeared 40 years ago. According to my family, he walked out without a word of warning. Years went by and they never heard anything from him. Then, 10 years ago, he walked into his brother's funeral, sat through the service, and walked out. My father was out there smoking and managed to exchange a couple of words. The cousin said he lives a 3-hour drive away. Then he walked away again. I wonder what his family did to him. It does take a lot to walk away like that.
Yeah if he still shows up to funerals he’s probably not the one without a heart in that situation.
When you google 'what to do when your daughter stops talking to you' the first answer google gives is: '1. Dont lecture them OR tell them how hurt you feel.'
When google can out parent you, you have some things to reflect on.
ROFL. Good one. If only it wouldn't be so tragic and sad for the children.
😅😂
lol!
Ohhhh SNAP!😂💪🏼💪🏼
I'll never forget hearing my parents say, "I wish we had a nice daughter." They were both alcoholics & we had domestic violence in our home every time they'd start drinking because 1 or 2 hrs later they'd start fighting. Physical fights. They blamed it all on me. It was my fault. We didn't have a "Harmony House" because of me. I was 9 yrs old.
The losers always look for scapegoats. Mother blamed me for coming into the world unwanted out of wedlock. It’s was curse for Roman Catholics to have children that way.
Pathetic.
Tell them, I wish I had nice parents, what the heck🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Did we have the same parents?! This was my childhood exactly. Except the narcissistic blaming and abuse didn't end when they both passed; my older sister then took up their dark traits after I moved in with her. My whole family was ruined by personality disorders
I called out my mother on using my brother in fights against his dad just like she did to me, bringing kids into adult situations to isolate her partner in a grown up argument…coaching us against our other parent because it’s impossible not to side with mommy when she cries, her response was that “he’ll be just fine because unlike you he has a heart of gold.”
up until I went no contact and started calling her out, she told the story of cheating on my dad as me saving her from an “abusive marriage” I was her hero for being involved, but now that I’m old enough to say it fucked me up I no longer have a good heart. I’m not longer a good person if I’m not holding her on a pedestal. You aren’t alone
This narc cannot wipe off the duper's delight from her face. She comes accross as an extremely gaslighting and emotionally sadistic person to be around.
That's because she's a sociopath. A malignant narcissist
It's like she's starring in her own SNL show where she cosplays being the perfect mother, who willingly sacrifices herself daily on the Cross of love for her daughter, but it never occurs to her to pick up the phone and say, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
She's not angry that her daughter doesn't love her as she feels she deserves. She's angry that she realized she couldn't force her to.
So sad.
I was thinking the same. Is this RL or is this SNL? 😖🤣 I was expecting Tina Fey and Chris Farley to make a cameo here. Would make more sense then.
@@LemonBaked.HAHA!!!!😂😂😂😂
Yes, cosplay victim
Imagine thinking you are the best mum for saving your baby from choking... literally anyone would've done this.
Unconsciously she probably wishes she hadn't saved her daughter!! From the fact and tone of this self-absorbed woman's video she - deep down - wishes her daughter dead.
@@sallywillis1448mothers like this would rather their children be dead than no contact. It’s sick but it’s better than them facing any shame. If my kid stops talking to me I may be a bad parent, if my kid is dead I’m a victim. Twisted.
Instinct was stronger than her narcissism.
All narc parents say this. "Remember when I saved you from....." Not understanding that it's not an "I owe you", some debt to be repaid. Naturally you should want to keep your child from dying. If you have any empathy that is...
It almost sounded comical. A year later with a sad response letter starting with remember when I actually acted like a normal mother. 🤣I shouldn't laugh but it's crazy how this woman saw the end result of her video and still thought yep that'll look good and make me seem like a victim
"I was abusive? NO! My daughter is clearly mentally ill! She even admitted to having the ADHDs. The clear best course of action is to have her come back under my contr- care."
The thing is, I think many people who come from such abuse would be misdiagnosed with a plethora of mental disasters simply because they hadn't yet felt safe to express and process emotions. CPTSD can show itself in many forms. And modern healthcare (especially in the US as far as I know) would rather find many sicknesses than one. I heard an accusement of being autist or something like that from my narcissistic mom, but I went to a psychologist and conclusively disproved this for myself.
Hearing of the diagnoses of autism and ADHD goes a long way to understanding how the mother was able to manipulate so deeply for so long. Neurodivergent people are very prone to being gaslit and abused in a multitude of ways, intense guilt and shame are very frequently felt by many of us. 😢
100% this. Took me years to recognize the abuse in my own family relationships, and how my autism left me susceptible to it
Also, ADHD and Autism aren't mental illnesses, like her parents think.
Unfortunately, you're absolutely right. We neurodivergent folk are easy prey for narcissistic abusers. Only when you realize your own value and start unmasking, you are able to see the abuse clearly.
Sets you up to be a scapegoat
The way Diane talks about it is so sickening. She's just like "Huh! We didn't know! Anyway" when it's serious! If someone else diagnosed my child with something or noticed something was wrong when I didn't, I'd be devastated and frustrated with myself; but also grateful whatever it was was found out. But Diane is just like "We didn't know! Oops!" She doesn't care. At all.
Narcissists love to send mixed messages like stating they love you over and over when their actions reflect the exact opposite.
Well they do love you but in the same way they love their car, you're a possession and one they can show off to friends, unless of course you don't live up to their expectations in which case they'll dump you and disown you.
I was so confused about what love is because my narcessistic mother always said "I love you" after her raging episodes. She used "because I love you" to validate all kinds of abuse. I grew to hate hearing "I love you." I didn't trust it.
My mother opened a text conversation between my sister and I, in which I was attempting to resolve our issues with ‘Im not judging you, I love you”…. When just her previous text to me was about me having victim mentality. When I tried to point that out in front of my sister, she went through, denial first, minimising, then blame/anger at me, shame… it’s just insane what they will do not to look at themselves
🎯 Thimblefox brilliant comment.
Yes!
"Me, me, me, me.... I love my daughter so much but I'm also trying to profit from the situation." The audacity is something else.
My mom used the “forgiveness” trope as a way to absolve herself from having to apologize to me personally. My mom “forgave herself” for how she treated me growing up. She also sent me links on how to forgive, as if I needed to forgive her, too. Amazing how she skipped the apology and went straight to throwing all that accountability out the window.
Omg. This resonates.
That’s what they do 😮
omg same. it's infuriating!
Sometimes people use religion like that too... They ask forgiveness from God rather than from the person they actually hurt.
And this is why I refuse to go to church anymore. They’re flipping nuts thinking abusers like this deserve absolute forgiveness like “Jesus”. Nope that’s enabling the abuse and invalidating the victim and putting all the blame and responsibility on the wrong person when it should be the evil abuser. That ish is so harmful. I love God but toxic forgiveness is unacceptable 💯🤷🏼♀️
You just have to laugh at this woman, she's unbelieavable! I respect the daughter so much for walking away from this relationship, I hope she's doing well
I second this! I’m sure the daughter knows that she’s made the right decision after such an awful video 😅
With these videos; Diane has foundca a way to publicly and passively shame her daughter while playing the victim. This is more than abusive, its slander and libel.
Admitting that you’ve scoured your daughter’s comment section to see if she ever mentioned you… That was painfully embarrassing to listen to.
Yes, so interesting how she said that with a straight face! (Or rather the usual forced grinning face that's actually an annoyed face)
This woman is so awfully self-unaware. 🤦🏻♀️
There's a direct connection between the daughter talking about the estrangement on her tiktok and the mother making her TH-cam videos.
The daughter said something publicly and now the mother feels compelled to lash out.
She is a mother that is hurting. I hope you never go through the same thing. And no, I don't have children in her age range. I am an outsider who is looking into the situation. All I see is people bashing the mother and almost revelling in her pain. I think it's crazy and sick.
@@reachhonduras8955 the mother is effectively telling a story that you believe: she is a victim of this situation. If you listen closely to what she says, she fully admits that she is incapable of completing the books on estrangement she’s reading because they would require her to take accountability and apologize to her daughter. She in her own words she “can’t stomach” apologizing, so her alternative is to paint herself as a victim and try to gain the sympathy of kind, understanding people such as yourself on the internet. Onlookers are rightfully being critical as they can recognize this same pattern in their own toxic caregivers.
This woman's narcissism absolutely infuriates me. I hope her daughter is safe and well.
Holy shit!!!! For someone with a late diagnosis of ADHD/Autism/CPTSD, this poor woman (the daughter). For those who arent affcted by these invisible disabilities, please understand that were are gaslit literally ALL THE TIME. Most of us are unable to work and lead "normal" lives. Im so glad she got her diagnosis in her 20s, she might be able to actually be comfortable in her own individual personality. Ive met people in their 30s, 40s, 50s who dont even know who they are because theyve been trained to please everyone but themselves.
Ps
Im in my 3rd time going no contact and its not easy. Power to all of you wonderful people!
This video is EVERYTHING!!! Its been 2 years since ive spoken to them and im starting to process the darker parts of the abuse. THANK YOU EVERYONE ❤❤❤❤
One of the things that this woman fails to understand is that it is really difficult to give up on your family. I was in my 50s when I finally gave up. We inherently want to belong to a family. It takes a great amount of abuse to finally admit to yourself that these people don't love you and don't have your best interests at heart.
So true. And my guess is she will never understand. It's so painful for the child who just wants to be seen.
So true. I was 48, I regret not doing it much sooner. I was trying for nothing, turns out. I didn't understand until recently, when I found all this info and got therapy.
The fact that this deluded woman puts the whole situation into a video full of sentimental music and faraway looks, all designed to win sympathy for only one side of the story, speaks volumes alone. I'm really fascinated to know the daughter's side of the story - to see what type of person she is - but she's probably doing the right thing by saying nothing.
If I was the daughter, I’d be crafting my fucking debut masterpiece as we speak.
The mother might think she looks put upon, but she looks like the self absorbed, deluded, antagonistic nightmare of a mother that she is. Other narcs would be circling and salivating. It's really hard to say what the best course of action would be for this unfortunate daughter. Looks like a no win situation.
Exactly. There's no self reflection on the mother's part. Plus the fact that she even made the video in the first place says it all.
@@transitionsnc Yes, she spent much more time making this video than she spent trying to understand her daughter and make amends.
The daughter is definitely doing the right thing by no longer responding. She already said what she had to say, and her mother (and father) resoundingly discarded what she said. This whole video over the span of 3 years is just a sick, stubborn, pathological attempt to undermine their daughter and twist her words. They do not deserve a response to this flagrant smear campaign.
At this point, her absence and silence is all they deserve.
I hope the daughter is living her best life now, with people who show her genuine love, validation, and respect.
She lashes out at everyone who comments on her videos with rage and gaslighting. Way to prove your daughter right.
I called her out for saying her daughter's diagnosis and she block me.
I hope people will see this and avoid advocating for children to take responsibility for reconnecting with parents. The parent is responsible. Parents shouldn't be looping others in. That's a red flag.
👏
Yes. Did you see the people on the mother's channel talking about what a horrible daughter she has? And the mother lets all that up there for the world to see? That is just so nasty to do to your daughter. I hope so much her daughter heals.
Her frequent use of the word "betrayed" in relation to her daughter finally defending herself shows how entitled she feels to transgress her daughter's boundaries.
The real betrayal is the mom putting the daughter on blast on the internet. The daughter privately expressed herself to the mom/parents, and the mom puts on the internet to make her daughter look bad. Ironically, mom is showing how awful she and the dad are.
Yes "consider how I feel" = betrayal 😮
Exactly.
The mother calls someone setting boundaries, “conditional love.”
Letter started with "You owe me, I saved your life."
OMG, the Mom spewing guilt is too much. I want to give big hugs to the daughter.
When someone says “I love you” and then proceeds to act contradictory to that statement, it means their version of love is a lie.
And likely dangerous
Yes, imagine receiving a long letter from somebody you love and responding "received".
Whenever I hear of a child going no contact, I KNOW how much went into that decision. I suspect it’s rarely done on a whim
Except in cases of alienation, that is true!
So true. Took me four decades basically, two years of which with a skilled therapist who specializes in victims of narcissistic abuse.
I couldn't have left my mother without massive help. I still believed things could somehow still get better. It was a very painful process and still is sometimes, but so much better than the previous suffering.
The comments under her videos were calling it a 'woke trend'. I guess that's easier than questioning what you've done to upset someone to that point.
@@pisceananarchyvortex7223my narc mom alienated us against our dad and is doing the same to my half brother and his dad. It’s fucked up. My dad is fucked he’s a crack head now who is homeless… but he’s selfish too but it’s wild I still have a sliver of empathy because she took everything from him by coaching us the kids against him. We hated him.
It was only after I seen her marry the man she cheated with that I started seeing SHE abused them… and us. The older I got the more it was clear…
People like you saying stuff like this really makes victims of emotional abuse feel so valid and understood, even if it isn’t by the person we need it to come from the most, it still feels really good. So thanks for being amazing and reminding me and others we aren’t alone.
They missed the signs of autism and ADHD because they were so focused on themselves and their narcissistic needs. I’m so glad she got away. This video must have been the final confirmation she didn’t even need. Good for her 🙌 good riddance to them!!
I’m still f-ng furious that this ”mother” made this professionally made video. Not only that but she just outs the daughter totally to, well, everyone.
The mentioning that the grandfather that the daughter had been close to had died but they didn’t hear anything is particularly crazy. But, she concedes, the daughter DID come to the funeral.
Lady, not everything is about YOU.
You make an excellent point about how well produced the mom video is! She definitely did not just into her iPhone and upload. When I first watched the video, I thought the video was a satire or joke. The mom makes so many cringy comments! Are we sure that the mom is NOT an actress?
@@delia5158 she’s a narcissist. They know how to put on a show for all the wrong reasons.
i haven’t gotten to that part of the video yet but this comment made me realize i’m inevitably gonna see my dad again :/ at a funeral
@@delia5158 Not to mention the melodramatic music to manipulate the viewer.
@@bcpr9812I've never had the urge to smash a violin over a boulder until this video.
One til Tok person said it best and I’ll paraphrase it:
‘… if your child willingly makes themselves essentially an orphan rather than deal with the parent then that indicates how catastrophically you failed at the most important relationship in life’ = you completely sucked as a parent and a human.
I’m coming from another daughter who went no contact with a malignant narcissistic mother and all her flying monkeys. Her constant smear campaign won’t end until she’s dead and I’ve accepted that. Best thing for me is to stay No Contact and keep the peace I finally found. Good riddance
Speaking of flying monkey, how about Daddio? 🙄
That song - who called the English teacher Daddio?
haha
Tony Soprano jokes on that phrase in a parent teacher conference
hahaha
Ike Turner and the Kings of Rhythm covered that song...
I know which Tik Tok video you're referring to. It made me wonder if that was actually Diane's daughter LOL
Great comment and good luck. We all deserve a narc-free life!
It sounds like you've found your anger, that's awesome.
I watched both videos. I commented on her video and told her she was mocking her own daughter. So then she creates that group you pay money to join, so she's found a way to exploit people in pain and make money. Totally on point for a narcissist.
AND she recommends the book that she admits she didn't read!
This is SO interesting to hear the perspective of a narcissist and how they tick from an internal view. It’s wild. There really is no reaching them.
It’s a mask. People like this know the harm they do.
@@NoNameToYou I agree with you on that! I have my own experience. I just meant there is no getting past the false self for any possible change or “cure”. The way they can ALWAYS wiggle themselves into a position that’s comfortable for them is fascinating now that I’m not having to deal with it on a daily basis.
Yeh it's not like you can take the mask away and see their vulnerabilities. You challenge and you get armour and a shield and a mask
Also the impulse to compete with her daughter. She finds her Tiktok and what does she do? Creates her own TH-cam channel.
That stuck out to me too…
YES!
I can confirm. I have no personal boundaries bc I have a mother similar to this woman. I went NC about 15 years ago to keep myself and my kids safe from her toxicity. She was a victim of everything and her moods were my fault. I was not allowed to be my own person. Your assessment of this woman has been helpful for me.
You have enough boundaries to go no contact. Please don’t discount how very brave that is. I’m sorry you had to do this, but you’re breaking the cycle. I’m proud of you for protecting yourself and your children.
I hope her daughter finds your videos and feels validated. Especially if she has seen her mother’s videos. That must feel awful to see so many bad parents agreeing in the comments and blaming Hayley.
Imagine how many are contacting her…poor poor girl.
This is honestly hard to watch.... this "mother" is unbelievably toxic, and her lack of self-awareness is mind-blowing! Great analysis, as always.
What I think is really stunning is that without the analysis she comes over as polite and well spoken, I can see how people really get taken in by these sort of characters. We tend to think of bad people as being aggressive, rude etc. and people can be easily manipulated by the polite, mild mannered types.
She is well aware. The video is her exposing her daughter (ravenge), trying to gain sympathy (competition), and attempting to hide her nasty nature - and she fails terribly.
She’s literally filming a smearing campaign against her daughter. So ironic 🥴
yup, it's a public smear campaign
It backfired. People see her exactly for what she is, and i love it.
When she says that you can't help but blame yourself, I image that she wants someone to say, "No, no you are not to blame!" It seems like fishing for sympathy.
Exxxxxxaaaaaaactly!!!!!!
Look at her responses to comments. Zero self reflection. Passive aggressive replies.
YES. She senses that accepting (at least SOME) responsibility is what normal people do, so she knows it would sound human if she claimed she did it. Same as how she repeatedly admits to being "not perfect" -that's narcissism 101. It is arguably the most multipurpose weapon to have in your arsenal if you're a narcissist. With it, you can:
1. pretend to have humility
2. avoid admitting to specific harmful behaviors
3. imply that anyone with grievances expects _perfection_ and is therefore the "real" control freak.
Sometimes I have entire conversations with my mom where it feels like I'm given a script and expected to react exactly as she wants..... what she wants is sympathy, pity, control, and for me to think exactly like her about every situation. When she asks for my opinion..... it's a trap!
This mother went next level in her smear campaign against her daughter.
That woman is UNREACHABLE, YOU CAN TELL.
I agree. It's sad and tragic. Reminds me of my own mother in many disgusting ways.
Everyone with a narc Mom can relate. They're always the victim.
I truly believe that she is absolutely loving this estrangement. She's getting off on the pitty party and attention from other narcissists. She literally made a pay subscription channel for estranged parents.
Dude REPORT IT. This is abuse.
The mother's cold stiff smirk through the whole video - that is the most striking thing to me. She doesn't stop that cold smile at any point in the video.
All the rest of these things are things that my own mother could have said or done, but that smirk sends chills down my spine. Her daughter dared to escape and she's smirking at the world. She smiles because she's getting back at her daughter - "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!"
Imagine growing up with a mother that looks at you with that self-satisfied smirk every time you give her a reason to be angry!
You hit the nail on the head, I didn't even realize it but yep, you can see it!!! 100%
Imagine how neglected this child was for this diagnosis to be missed. Given that the mother is so self-absorbed, it is logical of course.
You don't have to be neglected, it can happen with a helicopter parent. That's how my mother was.
Every fidget or weird thing I did got reprimanded. She "never saw the signs" because everything I did was simply something meant to irritate her, make her look bad, or something else relating to her and not me, the actual child. It wasn't like, oh yeah she doesn't sit still, interrupts, runs around all the time, only sleeps by passing out due to sheer exhaustion, can't tolerate homework or anything boring despite reading early and being highly intelligent- hey maybe she needs help? It was, you're doing this on purpose so stop. Sit down, shut up, act right.
I actually did get diagnosed once, but she took it as a personal attack on her parenting skills by the doctor :)
When you are so self focused, you don't even stop to wonder why others do things. It's just always personal, always about you.
To be fair, studies show that girls mask their symptoms very well and thus often go undiagnosed. Either way, the mom is a complete narcissist.
Exactly. As a diagnosed autist, my mom easily could tell I was different and struggling, so I got evaluated as a teen.
I don't think it's always that simple as autistic parents won't think their autistic kids are different. Also our understanding of what it looks like in girls has advanced.
That said I don't think those reasons apply here
I’ll let you know a personal anecdote about me, I went to the school doctor age 12 as I couldn’t read the blackboard in class and had more and more headaches. My mom didn’t believe me, refused for a year to get me glasses as I was clearly faking it and glasses made me ugly. Doctor had to convince her I couldn’t fake the test she was witness to. Second example age 17 I had a moped accident that was pretty severe. As I was conscious the cops thought it best to call my mom myself not to scare or alarm her so she wouldn’t panic driving over. I had a dislocated shoulder, all the skin was off my forearm as I scraped the asphalt after being launched and hurled through the air by the truck that hit me. I had broken two ribs that got diagnose at the hospital later, I was in so much pain, there was a lot of blood. My moms angry response on the phone that the cop handed me was annoyed and anger and if she really needed to come with a big annoyed sigh as she told me she was ironing. The ambulance people and the cops needed to convince her. They were astounded at her behavior.
The daughter called her father when the mother announced that he was very sick and he had the nerve to say that she didn't care?!!!
She said sarcastically that she was surprised that she had called. Surprised. Not pleased. Surprised. It probably went with reproaches.
Don't want to invade your space, proceeds to filming a whole video about it.
That smile of contempt at about 40:20 mark says so much. She isn't interested in her daughter's reasons for withdrawing, nor is she concerned for her daughter's wellbeing. This has become an opportunity to deny responsibility for the situation she is in, present herself as a victim and make some money out of it. If she really cared about her daughter, contrition wouldn't be off the menu.
Wow I love that last sentence especially, it's powerful!
Yes! ❤❤❤❤
Wow, I feel triggered hearing her describe her daughter as an automatron on the phone given that Diane the ultimate automatron typed ''received'' in response to her daughter poring her heart out.
The daughter acting like an automaton sounds like grey-rocking, to me. She/they (if my sources are correct, the daughter uses they/them pronouns) has likely given up on any sort of emotional engagement with her/their birth-giver, as her/their mother will just invalidate any feelings and/or weaponize them and throw it back in her/their face.
Other people's emotions are irrelevant to a narcissist, they're just something to be manipulated to the narc's benefit.
Oh yeah exactly! And the your grandpa passed txt
Imagine one day Haley decides to try contact with Diane and Ted again, comes over, sees a bunch of nice new stuff around the house.
"Wow, how did you guys afford all this?"
"Oh, we uh, we started a subscription website and it's doing well."
"Ah, cool. What's it about?"
The wide eyed glee full smirk through out is so obviously her mask … and children of narcs know how chilling the ignited fury and absolute contempt is when the mask is abandoned 😢
So glad to see people understanding all this.
Showing her daughter's baby pictures and sharing her name - SO insensitive, intrusive, and UNSAFE! She's actually making her daughter very vulnerable and unsafe exposing her identity! OMG, if my narc mother did this, I would have a nervous breakdown! This mother is cruel and I daresay dangerous!
I wanted to see what the daughter had to say and she popped up right away online. There's even something about estranged daughter online with her name. Scary.
criminal
That's exactly what they do...
My mother self-published a memoir about me earlier this year, included (without my permission) a letter I wrote in which I described a SA that took place when I was a minor, and thanked my therapist of 8 years in the last chapter… by name 🙃 channels like these are genuinely the only thing standing between me and complete psychic collapse right now
@@oliviagruwell4466 oh my god, that's so violating, I'm so sorry you have to experience that. You most certainly don't deserve it.
I know it's not much, but I'm sending you positive energy as hard as I can concentrate right now.
You survived, you will survive. You're strong because you had to be, but it is your greatest strength. Despite everything, you still persist, take pride in that. You'll be the one winning in the end, not her.
The inappropriate smiling is my biggest red flag with my family. It's venomous. It poisoned my concept of love, empathy, mirroring, ECT. It took me ages to shed that creepy feeling. Hailey, I feel you, girl! You are so very not along in this difficult path through life.
I do the inappropriate smiling… especially when talking about tough topics… they make me uncomfortable everybody is different but at the same time I may have picked it up from my narc mother so..
@@BakedBrain7100 interesting. Now that you mention it, I can think of times when I smile when I'm uncomfortable. Like an internal cringe. I wonder what the difference is, if any. Sorry about your mum. It's hard breaking cycles, I know it. ❤️
That creepy feeling did so much more damage to me than many other facets of the trauma. Thank you for saying that 👍👍
I was adopted by people like this. Any adult child who goes no contact (which I also did in my early 30s) hopes for nothing more than that these “parents” will change. That they will realize that they hurt us and will genuinely apologize - but they won’t. Instead they will be angry with you, and badmouth you others.
Wow, Kristina, I feel so sad reading about your experience. 😢 How tragic.
@@Wesenskernif this is sarcasm grow the fuck up.
I can relate, this also gives them a whole extra dimension of ammunition, judgement, manipulation etc, a horrible situation. I hope things are improving for you
@@kg6801 no ammunition or manipulation unless you let them. That’s why it’s best to just walk away. I think it is harder for people who aren’t adopted, as they might actually love their parents and might be more upset not talking to them.
It really creeps me out to hear about these "estrangement" facebook groups. Those sound like "safe spaces" for narcissists.
Better that they are in their own safe spaces than affecting the rest of us xx
Dens of abuse for those that no longer have access to the abused
@@indiabilly In my mind, they're sitting in their little groups. Getting supply from each other in a toxic circle jerk. Plotting against the rest of us.:D
That’s exactly what it is!!! narcissistic parents club is what I call it😂💯🤷🏼♀️🤦♀️
Yes, they all get together and support each other to never get help for their personality disorders.
I perceive her video as a revenge-video against her daughter..just passive-aggressive. But instead of showing how sorry everyone should be for the mother, it just shows how difficult it must have been for the daughter.
“I owe you nothing! If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you're supposed to do! Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me like I will owe my son if I ever have another.”
I’ve always loved this line from the movie, Guess who’s coming to dinner.
Now I’ll have to watch this 👀
this isn't healthy either tho. Women aren't baby slaves just because they have kids. A healthy family has balance and mutual respect, caring for each other.
@@susannatuttapanna2010 i mean yeah but you’re not driven to the point of saying something like this if you have healthy parents
@@susannatuttapanna2010 who said anything about baby slaves? The line was actually directed at the father. Your children are not responsible for your happiness. Ever.
I remember my mother saying "God, I'm good to you!". I flatly said back "You're my mother. Your supposed to be good to me". Her face was one of shock and disbelief. It had honestly never occurred to her.
When my son was 20, he called me and told me his acting teacher mentioned his voice was repressed in class and he had trauma to work through. I knew this was true because I had been a codependent in a relationship with a narcissist (at that time was still married to his father.) and there had been increasing disfunction in our family. Anyway, because I had been doing so much work trying to make my marriage work and our family healthy, I had the knowledge and deep empathy for my son. He was so distressed and I listened patiently, apologized for anything he mentioned, asked him if there was more and told him I was so glad he had shared with me. I think that moment was extremely healing for our relationship and of course, the important thing was my son felt heard. I'm so happy I didn't get defensive......after all we've been through, I just want my children to be happy and healthy. I'm also very lucky they supported me when I divorced their father.
That must've been tough for both of you and I'm glad you both could talk it out respectfully ❤️🩹
Well done ❤
You sound like a very loving mum and heard your son that is all he wanted . well done ❤
Well done! I am so proud of you. You are so self aware. I feel that we share a similar story. My son is 7 and I after learning about my codependency to my narsicist partner, had to do a lot of self reflection. I discovered that I was not a present mother for my son due to my dissociation and trauma from my own childhood . My sons feelings were not my priority. I learned to repress my own feelings all my life. Thankfully we are much happier now. We are moving out in two months. I apologised to my son in age appropriate way. I am focused on his happines now. He is doing really well . He comes with his problems because he feels safe with me. He is much happier. We are the closest we have ever been. Change is possible. Knowledge is power. Love❤
@@magdak69 I am proud of you too! You are a survivor! Peaceful times and growth..so much is ahead of you. Bravo!
Your videos probably single Handedly healed this poor daughter - what amazing validation ❤
thank you!
I feel the same. She is amazing
The birthday part?! Your reaction / analysis was great. “Your birthday is really important to me too! … I get myself a present.” Wow. If that isn’t revealing idk what is.
I really, really hope Hailey stumbles on to this TH-cam channel some day; both for the validation she will probably feel, but also I think your channel will be an awesome resource for her.
Dear Hailey,
We are behind you 1000%.
Yeah, Hailey!! We get it, and didn't need to see your letter to your mom. All the best in everything you do!! Hugs!!
She is consciously filming herself doing laundry, watering plants and roaming the garden deep in thought. So genuine and heartfelt
She is just so pissed that she's lost control of her daughter. All this manipulative talk is an attempt to regain control - via shaming and obligation.
That long litany of "I can't make her..." summed up by "I can't make her do anything." How infuriating that must be for a manipulative narcissist who is used to making everyone around her do anything she wants. No wonder she lashed out online. She wants to force her adult daughter to "behave" through public shaming.
Bingo!
It’s amazing how obsessed narcissists are with birthdays
All holidays, but especially birthdays- especially their own. They always use "obligatory" celebrations as a chance to make everything all about themselves and control everyone. (The covert narcs will do it under the thinly veiled guise of it being about others, but it never is.)
It’s sort of like a bridezilla isn’t it? “It’s MY DAY!!”
OMG YES!! @@elisabethhughes6005
And Mother's Day too!
They always brag about the nice gifts they received from their favourite people and of course your gifts are not good enough.
It also feels clear that she can’t identity with her daughter as anything other than a baby or a small child. No pictures or conversation of her daughter as a full fledge adult with her own thoughts, identity and life.