How the Bank of Mum and Dad is creating a new class system
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2025
- Intergenerational expert Dr Eliza Filby on how hereditary wealth is creating new layers to the class system.
Her book "Inheritocracy: It's Time to Talk About the Bank of Mum and Dad" is out now.
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People with the same grades as me in the same job as me are 10 years ahead because their parents paid for their house deposit. Spot on.
annoying AF isn’t it
But it's always been this way.
My sister's kid grew up in a middle class house in a nice village and thought he was super badly done to [like all kids]. When he got to 15 he went to an inner city college to study - it was the best thing that could have happened to him, all his friends there, the parents rent and they had ZERO chance of ever owning a home, they cant even think of going to university - kids he knows are way smarter than him are looking for labouring jobs to start work ASAP and bring money home to help with the rent and the bills.
My sister is going to buy him a house with a legal framework that he pays 1/300th of the value a month and each month he owns 1/300th more of the house - so its an interest-free 100% mortgage over 25 years.
@@pepegalego that's not true house prices have outpaced wage growth so average house prices are many multiples higher than average salaries now when compared to just 30 years ago. So while people always inherited deposits the difference is that the struggle for those who can't inherit a deposit has increased drastically hopefully that explains why the statement they are ten years ahead is still true especially when looked at through the lens of property ownership which is the largest generational wealth builder in this country
@@nguene While prices have risen, that is probably more due to the fact that nobody is building anything since the credit crisis and demand far outways available properties. But that doesn't change the fact that the wealthier your parents were/are, the more help you get. That is precisely why 30 years ago, you couldn't receive more than 15k from family.
I am not up to speed as I no longer live in the UK, but I bet someone got rid of that restraint during the Blair years.
Without financially stable and supportive parents, life can be a DEPRESSINGLY TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE. The amount of work you have to do ALONE to achieve that stability is staggering.
Exactly!!
I.e., adulthood.
@@niilespunkari8832you have been programmed to believe that adulthood must be full of staggering and depressing work. It doesn’t have to be that way with good parents. It shouldn’t be that way for anyone.
@@mayagreenafrica In my view, you are a former suburbian kid who is now waking up to the brutality of life.
Room-mates are key when you're starting out.
I really appreciate Eliza’s honesty. I’m 27 in the US and I have many friends that have bought a house on with the help of their parents. It’s a little dirty secret that is only found out if you know someone closely (they surely don’t mention it when they announce their purchase on socials.)
Parents are so competitive these days that they give their kids tons of opportunity and then keep it a secret, chocking it up to their child’s savvy. Parents love to brag on social media “timmy bought a house at 25! he’s so incredible and has worked so hard!” The secret is, Timmy did not buy that house on his own. It’s a bit depressing.
28 and absolutely agree
Don’t use socials. Focus on yourself.
"Rich" people have always been hush hush about their money/privileges. Best example from my childhood was a 2x harvard legacy who only got in because she agreed to take a gap year (privilege only available to legacies) who shit all over the black trans class president/valedictorian for "only" getting in because of their identity. They're jealous and insecure and want to project inherent/earned superiority by taking advantage of their privileges without claiming them. Best you can do is ignore them and fight for our collective rights.
Your last sentence.....blame your parents.
You don’t sound American
the idea that we're actually an inheritocracy is mind blowing. We're slowly, naturally going back to the days of nobles. Big families with big money and big property portfolios
We're already there
And that's what the Tories (and Labour establishment elites) have been wanting for a long time
The other problem is low income people selling off their inheritance for cash and losing that stability. I spent 100k over 2 years to pay off the liens against my grandfathers property so that I could assume the mortgage and low interest rate. Now my brother and his fiancé live in that house and pay half of what they would pay in an apartment in the city. They aren’t saving loads of cash maybe a few hundred every month but their finances are a net positive. And they are able to go out with their friends and buy things they need and want.
Not so slowly. Middle class was a C20 experiment.
millionaire next door says most rich dont inherit, im pretty sure rich kids are more likely to turn into unemployed ideological karl marx types who can kill 100s of millions of people with ideas though which is fun?
So right. A couple who I have known for years had a financially astute marriage. Bought a couple of properties to rent out for additional income, but when their 2 children were in their mid twenties were able to transfer ownership to their children.
Both of their children are in low paid jobs but have a house each with no mortgage and no rent - what a great start in life.
That's incredible and the kind of thing I want to do for my nephew.❤
And this is nothing new. There are families that invest and those that spend.
And what incredible planning from the parents! Honestly we don't appreciate people enough that have their shit together and plan well for the future.
I am doing the same for my son. Things are too difficult for young people these days.
@@nixer65what you’re not acknowledging is that the generation of today doesn’t have the same opportunity without getting a leg up
Didnt mention the people who not only dont get financial support from their parents, but have to financially support their parents! 😬
a classic haha
Yes supporting parents and siblings
@@mistermoo7602 weird mindset. some ppl have good parents who get cancer or are hit by a car or suffer a work injury or a stroke. they’re not lying in the bed they were making but one that was made for them
@@ruiqi22 Disability is different.
@@mistermoo7602 The original comment doesn’t specify why someone has to support their parents.
"Millennials are no longer young" you take that back
The eldest are 44…😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Im afraid we are now middle aged
And yet Gen Z's look older than a lot of Millenials 😂
What did she mean “35 and no longer young?” 😭
Bank of Dad - I am a simple working man 63 Gas Engineer. pleased to have helped both my son's buy their own home.
Well done, instead wasting your money at casinos, bars, or sports events.
You are a great father. Hopefully your sons will pay a similar favor onto theirs some day. I didnt get any tremendous financial help from my parents but am grateful for what they have done for me. I intend on being frugal and working hard my entire life so that I may help my children some day.
That's lovely. Hope you are doing well.
Exactly what you should have done and exactly what I will do. Well done.
@@niilespunkari8832unless you are obsessed gambler who wins a house 😂
This is true in the US as well. I have friends who were just as well off as me growing up, who are now really struggling, and the difference comes down to the fact that their parents kicked them out and said, "figure it out, you're an adult now," while my parents helped me get established.
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
@@knowdudegamingshow2962 Likely they were lazy and wanted to ride the wave without puttn in effort.
@@Xeyne098 Young people are working their asses off and their wages just aren't enough to keep up and get their own place. Most of the country you can have a tier 2 job and have no options.
I'm willing to bet that you never worked in a warehouse during the mail crisis of the early pandemic. Gen Z stepped up in droves.
Out of my friends (also in the US), the only ones who have been able to afford to move away from their parents’ homes are those who have roommates or romantic partners. My single friends with no roommate options can’t afford to live by themselves and are still with their parents. I want to live in my own place and feel like a fully-fledged adult, but I can’t afford it. Housing is horrendous here, and now that it’s getting harder to find well-paying jobs moving isn’t even a guarantee of an improved market. What’s worse is my own mother doesn’t believe how hard it truly is; she thinks almost everyone in my generation just wants things handed to them, and that I could afford a house or apartment. I’ve looked. I can’t. The lowest monthly estimates near me still won’t look at an application unless I’m making 3 times more than the rent or mortgage payment is.
Our grandparents and parents got their great economy and pulled the ladder up behind them.
@mistermoo7602 lol..gen z didn't...immigrants did..
Gen z do not work as hard as the previous generations and that's a fact..
One of the ways boomers accumulated some wealth which everyone ignores is, they got married early and pooled their resources to start building together...boomers spent a lot less on leisurely activities than millennials and gen z...
I'm a 30 year old immigrant who moved here with my wife 3 years ago with nothing saved up and we've just bought a house...we earn £1,800 monthly net each and we saved £1,000 combined monthly over 3 years to come up with our deposit
As someone made homeless qfter leaving school at 16, I don't think a lot of my peers have understood over the years how much extra they saved through having a family home and family support. That family support is probably saves them boarding on a few hundred thousand pounds over the past 16 years.
Ditto, from 18. Still, managed to go to uni as a mature student in... wait for it... 2007. When I graduated in 2010 everything had gone south, I worked for 4 successive companies which went into administration, and the degree has done absolutely nothing other than tax me even harder.
The rise of unfettered greedy NIMBYism has been the death knell for millennials, we simply wont live long enough to witness any kind of recovery or turnaround.
Same, moved out of home at 17. Now in my 30s grown men my age still live with their parents and have no ambition to move out.
I estimate a minimum of around 240k if you estimate 15k per annum and that's the low end.
@@LonDanDoc What does that comment even mean?
Same. From 18 onwards. Can't get my head around people in their 20s/30s living with parents. I would lose my mind.
Interesting, and I'm only near the start of the video, but I'd also like to add that the "bank" is not just financial but also emotional and intellectual. We are in an age where ill-health, tech and consumerism are overpowering forces, and parents who equip their kids to combat or sensibly navigate those challenges are also a form of generational wealth.
Very good point!!
Good point mentioning modern day challenges. Elderly fall for scams a lot easier after all.
Chronic emotional neglect is real
completely agree. as my generation were the first ones to properly grow up with social media (i had a facebook account when i was 9, lol) my parents weren't able to teach me how to navigate social media and the effects of it, because they had no idea about it.
seperate point, but one of the main things i also notice is my generation's (myself included) reliance on social media and instant gratification we get from it. it's not uncommon for me to be around my friends and everyone is on their phone, the way we socialise in real life is completely different. often, it feels like people aren't really 'there'.
there's a fantastic youtube video essay about gen z that i watched a few weeks ago titled "Gen Z's Unique Oversocialisation" i recommend it !
The option of quality childcare for two working parents paying a mortgage is a consideration alongside ‘bank’ security
I appreciate you saying “I’m not actually working class because of what my parents did for me” YES THANK YOU
Omg when she said "crash pad in London where I could stay rent free" 😅 Yeah that would help
That's basically doubling an average salary. Even for somewhere really basic that's worth £20k per year adjusted for inflation
And working class....2 generations after the bet was won
@@johnwhyte7834 Cause in the UK their class system is based on heritage
Sooo working class😂
And she still thought she was working class 😂😂😂
I'm 36 and have several friends who have had to moved back in with their parents this year as rent prices and cost of living has gotten too much. So its effecting people beyond 35. The whole argument of move somewhere else doesn't stick because the work opportunities aren't there and why should you have to give up your life / friends etc because of insane and unregulated price hiking everywhere. The scary thing is if their parents weren't in a position to take these friends in they'd literally be homeless or jobless or both! All these friends have successful jobs in fairly respected positions. The mind boggles.
I’m 29, but been out of work for awhile so the thought of working full time again & knowing the prices have changed in the last years - I can’t imagine being able to afford to move out from my mums!
and at mid 30s we need our own space rather than sharing with strangers, thank god for family
Yeah the whole 'get on your bike' attitude of some to just find basic employment or to find a cheap house is stupid because employment opportunities are not spread evenly across the country and some people need to stay close to their family because they provide childcare.
Precisely. It is not acceptablet that renters don't know how long they'll be allowed to stay in one place
If someone owns a property for rent they need to be prepared to rent it out indefinitely at the discretion of the tennant.
I'm 31 and me and my partner are attempting to 'move somewhere else' at the moment it is really hard to move away from all your family and friends just to get on the property ladder. We both work hard and earn decent wages why should we have had to flee from the south east as economic migrants due to, as you say, unregulated speculation and profiteering of the property market for several decades. Fuck the tories man.
36 here. I live home with parents, but, pay for everything. I even had my own place on lease, and still covered cost for everything for parents place. I feel like I have done well financially, but, never had guidance on how to best use it. Still financially secure, but, at home, single (past relationships were never long term ones), and I'm seeing people who are far less well off than I am married with kids and a place of their own at my age 🙃 Any guidance on what I should do? I can't buy a house, because my credit history is poor, defaulted a few times when I had to take out loans to pay of my sisters weddings in my mid 20s. My parents are obviously immigrants 😂
My best friend in college had a brand new car, went (flew) to concerts at least once per month, got a French bulldog as a graduation gift, had his own apartment right after he graduated, and was able to buy a home within a few years of finishing college. It's taken me until my mid 30's to get to the point of being able to live on my own without roommates and I'm not sure that I'll ever own a home. Bank of M&D allows people to live their lives very differently from everyone else.
what is amazing in this country, many middle class people can provide support to their kids. In other countries thsi is genuinely limited go the elite, politicians
If you know how the system works,
Build the generational wealth for your own kids. And make sure your government can't take it from you.
Unfortunately for me I’m estranged from my father and have no other family. However, I did managed to buy a terraced house. I noticed that my elderly next door neighbour bought her house 50 years ago on a supermarket cashiers salary. I was the first to go to uni, ended up with stem phd, worked in tech after, was head of a department and finally earning enough to buy my first home at 37. Today someone working at Asda can probably barely afford a room in a shared house in Bristol. 50 years ago would have got you a stable life and supported two kids.
Unfortunately the population has exploded since 50 years ago.
You can blame the mass of third world immigration for that.
The past is a different country. There were many many problems in the past.
It's not a population explosion.. it's the watering down of the value of money, by continuous governments printing money out of thin air
My father supported himself, a wife and 2 kids, bought his own house and saved for a pension. He started work in 1960 and retired in 1993. He was a chemistry teacher and had a degree in natural sciences from Cambridge. When he retired his salary was £25k.
We have a missing generation and what's worse is, that generation will reach retirement without their own home, without savings or a pension, without children and possibly not being able to retire at all. Noone's doing anything about it, it's a tsunami that's coming, a tsunami of retirement age destitution and poverty. We survive at the moment, but only just, we cannot prepare for what comes after.
they can work until they die. don't think the government will help them. charities wont be able to help as the pain will be too broadly spread. you will own nothing and be miserable. its by design.
Then that’s on them. With all the knowledge that is out there you’re telling me that their only solution is to “ahh well..fuck it”. Well they’ll have to deal with that consequence…that’s life. Make the necessities sacrifices now!
@@manoftomorrow5987there is nothing else to sacrifice maybe like 50 dollars can be saved a month
Honey, they're busting their asses to work and still won't be able to save enough for retirement
Yeah, I’m worried for a lot of my friends who are in their mid-30’s and have absolutely nothing saved, earn just enough to get by., and are still renting. Retirement is becoming a race against time.
As a black married American man, this historian is 100% correct in all her assessments! I started noticing this about 5 years ago representing buyers here in Dallas, TX and it was something that immediately jumped out at me! Even for clients who made excellent income, they struggled obtaining a mortgage approval due to their debt however, buyers with far less income but the help from their parents/grand parents obtained approval with ease! This is absolutely destroying my generation because so many of us came from either broken homes or homes where our parents did not make the necessary choices to secure their financial future...let alone ours!
Yes!
It’s called generational wealth which is passed down, but also lack of generational wealth is also passed down
Ah yes....people just having kids all willy nilly without a care in the world how they'd make it in life.
@@Xeyne098 The Christian Way: Overwhelm the populace with uneducated breedings.
What’s your race have to do with anything? No offence, but Americans loooove to state their race first.
One thing not really mentioned is that the situation you mentioned around having security to date badly (😂) also applies to work. Having a secure safety net encourages you to take career risks, try new things that might not work out etc. So many people are stunted living pay cheque to pay cheque, feeling unable to take a chance to move to a new area or country to work. Anyone with wealthy parents can do so, knowing they can just move back home or ask for emergency funds to tide them over while they look for a new job. Imagine feeling trapped in a job you hate (if this already doesn't apply to you) and fearing leaving because you might not be able to afford the heating or to cover your debts. This impacts social mobility and is likely a major cause of mental health issues in the UK. Excellent interview btw, looking forward to checking out the book.
@Jaaj2009 I felt the opposite, there was no point in not leaving the UK because staying would almost guarantee failure and leaving gave me the chance to "win" at life
@@markysgeeklab8783 i mean in fairness I did the same. I left and wished I had done it 8 years sooner but I have many friends back in the UK who are unhappy and locked into work they dont enjoy
i think what you wrote is spot on and i find it funny that it describes my situation so accurately, and both of the following comments so far discuss leaving the country altogether, which is also my aim. It cannot be an insignificant number of young adults debating whether or not it's worth staying.
Agreed. I have worked for about 7 years to get into this really competitive doctorate course. One of the ways you get enough experience to get onto it is to take roles that are literally unpaid and full.time. so like.. how would I live? Then they turn around and wonder why there isn't more diversity on the course
True, people worry so much about other cultures hitting the UK that they forget about the cultures of Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland and our Ireland nations.
I live nomadically in England. I work a full time job as an HVDC Engineer, yet live out of a tent & car. No one knows! I'm not sad about my situation, it's actually quite empowering! All I have to worry about is staying warm, dry, clean, fed and hydrated. The basics. This year alone, I've managed to save £41k. I'm going to keep going til I've saved £100k, then none of it is going on rent / mortgage!
You're a badass. Well done
@DewiSant-o3y The dream is to buy a bit of forest land to live on!
lucky to be in job that pays that well.
you go mate. i would totally do that as well. Do not give up as long as your health permits. Just do not sacrifice health. Try to eat healthy food and hit the gym. Avoid wasting on new iphones and stuff and you should be there
Yeah vanlife is the best choice
My parents paid my entire college tuition, and it's genuinely put me like a decade ahead of my piers. It's weird to know that while I'm watching everyone else struggle and fight for scraps, and I will always carry myself with humility knowing that my success in life was kind of handed to me.
I’m $500k in student loans.
Fucked til rapture!😊
Good for you and your parents. My very privileged daughter had no idea people had to work while they were in university and it’s the first time she really understood. She was able to graduate as a triple major and she said she could have never done it if she had to have a job. I helped her get her first house, bought her first car and have prepaid for her 2 year old daughter’s future university education. More importantly than financial support was being there throughout her life as her biggest cheerleader. Good luck to you.
That’s my experience as well. When people ask me how I did it I always say because my mom endlessly supported me. I have friends who are first generation and even though they aren’t poor, it’s still difficult so I can’t imagine students with no financial support.
Watching this as someone born in 94 whose parents don't own property, and whose spouse's parents don't own property is terrifying. We're fucked. I have a better wage than basically all of my friends but it counts for nothing in the long run.
Yup.
@@seanfitz70 buy a shared ownership house if you can't do the whole thing.
@@Nick-s536 shared ownership is a trap. It becomes impossible to sell once you're in and you're stuck staircasing the mortgage to a company who can also raise the rent on their portion.
Stay positive you can always find somewhere cheaper to get on the property ladder and work your way up.
@@matthewmorrison9255 wow yeah wish I’d thought of just buying somewhere cheaper. The only option would be to move far away from friends and family, get a completely different job and bring up my newborn child in complete isolation.
Some poor person has a sob story about how their grandad gambled away a house in London, and put the entire family into poverty for the rest of time.
Yep. Mom lost our family home when I was on the cusp of turning 17. Spent the last 10 years renting in Londons private renting market without ever having a break.That's not particularly unheard of, i admit. Where it's impacted me most however, is not having the opportunity to explore my career options properly because of never having financial security or even a place to live rent free while I do unpaid work or accumulate savings etc.
Not having wealthy parents may have been the greatest mistake I ever made
The question is, why do others escape from this and you don't?
The privilege permeates every single aspect of life. The fact Dr Eliza is there talking to you about it, and not someone on the other end of it that has witnessed the disparity first hand without any illusions, is testament to that fact.
Kudos to her for being real about it.
Hah... Im 45 & still have room inspections & randos checking my spending, need to get permission to paint a wall, 'cause i don't own a property.
Arrested development is real. My biography will be titled 'Magnolia is the only colour'
It's a subtle torture.
I managed to save up enough to finally buy somewhere cheap last year at 41 and the first thing I did was paint everything bright orange, it's such a different feeling not staring at magnolia all the time!
@@Geekaylee decades in magnolia, the never ending blah of meh.
We're completely screwed unless we rob a bank and get away with it. Then we'll at least have a shot at having a holiday someday.
Same, I entered the workforce at 15, have a degree, have never come close to owning a property and know my situation is far from unique. I don't think this is an issue that only affects young millennials and Gen Zers, I believe it starts with the younger Gen Xers.
@@mattjones1776 just the joy of working until death to look forward too... Those landlords house inspections are going to be way more absurd at 75 than the merely ridiculous vibes they have now.
6:47 "we were working class, that's how I culturally identified..."
6:56: "...my parents owned 3 properties in south London"
Just. Wow.
And about 10 seconds later she says she realised it wasn't the case. Selective quoting at its finest.
That and not wanting people to inherit wealth from their family members.
How does a person even come to the conclusion that they are working class when their parents directly own 3 properties in Central London 😂. Good on you for recognising it but holy shit.
Because her friends parents own 10, 15, 20 etc
Because she had a great aunt who was a pearly queen.
Honestly owning property in London wasnt such a big deal in the 80s n 90s after the crash
I grew up fairly well off and you’re in your bubble (friends and family) until something shows you how easy you have it compared to others. Until then your bubble is other people with x amount of houses or x amount of wealth so it’s just normal to you
Well because she and her parents work/ worked for it?
Millenial (Gen Y)
2001: dont worry, thats a once in a lifetime event
2008: dont worry, thats a once in a lifetime event
2020: dont worry, thats a once in a lifetime event
Couldn’t have summed it up any better!
WW1, the great depression, WW2, the 15 year depression of the seventies and so on. Each generation have had to fight their demons.
@@SweBeach2023 nope, the boomers were born AFTER WW2, and China was opened exactly in the 70's for them to enjoy the cheap stuff, the draft was minorities 10 to 1 , the oil price was very high but all cities were walkable and undeveloped, price of food increased and thats how we got comfort food...dont believe for a second they will buy houses and have kids in apocalyptic America
@@SweBeach2023 But todays people whine the most bc they are all connected by social media
For Portugal we have an extra one there, 2011.
It created a big amount of resentment in me when my friends (in particular the not so talented ones) got bags of cash from their parents. It got to a point where I thought buying a home was impossible without support, never got it, couldn't get it, we don't just have that type of money.
Long story short we got it done. We worked two jobs for near to a decade before we got our first home. Being in a couple helps but single ppl can do it. It was hard but it isn't impossible even without the bank of mum and dad. Stay focused, consistent and make sacrifices where necessary. Don't doubt yourself, it can be done.
You almost contradict yourself. 2 people working 2 jobs for a decade means a single person either needs to work 1-2 extremely well-paying jobs (top 1% jobs) for 20 years, or somehow work 4 crap-paid jobs for 20 years...
A hereditary class system. Each generation, meritocracy dies a little more. And class mobillity becomes increasingly more difficult.
Meritocracy never existed and super funny anyone thinks it did.
@nataliaalfonso2662 the word was literally coined to satarise the ridiculousness of the concept, and people missed the point so spectacularly that they actually started believing that this was something we should or could create.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rise_of_the_Meritocracy?wprov=sfla1
Class mobility over generations has always been somewhat limited.... The 20th century in human history is in some ways an outlier in that it was one of growing class equality
Assistance from family certainly plays a huge role. However, the second generation can easily and oftentimes does wipe out family wealth.
Personal decisions are just as big of a factor. Like putting money into a retirement account versus constantly traveling and buying bitching shoes/whatnot.
@@StarboundUK Doesn't mean that people, should put up with it going back to how it used to be 💁♂️
I have entered workforce and employment in 2008. My entire "career" I have mostly watched people, even just 5-6 years ahead of me, having pretty good time, like (in total) 100% bonuses, budgets for tech, toys, education and recreation.
When I became eligible for e.g. bonuses they were 2.5%. Also there was no money for any "extra-curriculars", no "multi screen setups", no nothing.
I don't complain mostly because I "kept in touch" with the times and I am aware what a flustercuck the employment reality is at the moment. 4x60 questions psychometric forms to stack shelves. 5-step recruitment for graduate internship positions. The erosion of employment rights, disappearance of benefits and stagnating salaries.
I'll put it this way: if I did everything the same way I did, but I started 5-6 years earlier, I'd have a fully paid detached house, not a mansion, but a nice house. I have clothes on my back and cat in my bag.
I remember doing all those 5 step recruitment processes for internships/grad jobs they drove me absolutely nuts.
@@teabagtowers3823 I saw/helped with/filled few for some unemployed friends, and came out of this experience shellshocked.
I had 3-5 employers over 16 years, depending on how you count. Every single time the recruitment looked like this: I send in my resume, I get invited (or not) for an interview, I might do a SHORT AND RELEVANT test there/beforehand or I can answer some questions "live". I receive email/phonecall with either rejection or an offer. I might negotiate at this point, depending on situation and leverage. Then we agree my starting date. I even included the jobs I didn't get. The closest thing I ever had to do to those insane recruitment processes was corporate training, like "What exactly classifies as 'Industrial Espionage'?" xD
Yeah sucks to be our generation.
It was the same for me and I'm 8 years older than you. Those 2-3 years older than me, or who were my age and a couple at 22-23 (so able to get the loan on the 100k house which is now worth 800k) were able to buy affordable houses.
The statistics support this view. Your starting conditions dominate outcomes. Entering the workforce during a recession significantly depresses lifetime earnings.
I love that hilariously out of touch rich people have no idea they’re hilariously out of touch.
I doubt they are. They are more educated about things in general. Ironically, it's probably the other way around.
everyone has their own reality and they don't intersect. this is normal. envy is a vice that will make you even poorer.
Thanks for putting words to a simmering feeling of injustice I have felt my entire adult life. It took me way too long to realize that other people have it so easy. Now I cut myself a lot of slack, because to not have a bank of mum and dad is to live in a constant high-cortisol state of survival mode. People who seem to be achieving more than me likely had a different starting point.
Exactly, my experience as well. People are probably gonna say this is a victim mentality, but it's just the truth. Lots of people have NO IDEA what it's like from the moment you move out(if you even can) to be on high alert 24/7, checking your bank account hundreds of times a day etc. Sends you in a completely different life trajectory even if you think about it.
Just imagine what children of politician have
As a millenial with a masters degree in a sought after industry, born in 88, I feel totally hopeless about ever being able to afford a home and children. Mark my words: the west will face a demographic collapse very soon if governments don't act now, which they won't. We are seriously fucked.
You are ignorant if you think it's only the west. Come over to Asia where many cities cost 12-18 times median salary
@@Semabachos delaying children is it so bad when the world is going to get a hotter and possibly more difficult to sustain them, than now? Easy for me to say I'm not you, I'm just looking at what I see going on.
It's not a sought after industry if you can't afford to live. Change your mind set if you want to change your quality if life.
@@ADFinlayson So you're under the delusion companies want to pay you high wages when you don't have any social connections with those up top?
You can move to a different area in the country, where you can afford to buy?
The other thing here is how damaging divorce is. That dilution of wealth is huge and with the frequency of divorce in parents of millennials it’s a correspondingly huge factor.
I was born at the end of 1996, and I really related to this discussion. Thank you for talking about this issue.
April 96er 🙋♀️
These people talk about this stuff so nonchalantly when it’s actually depressing as hell.
Totally thought the same! They seemed pretty happy with themselves… which says to me they are relieved that this doesn’t apply to them. And they are actually thinking thank fuck I’m doing better than most.
they talk about it easily because they are on the receiving end of the benefits. I wish i was getting an inheritance.
I think being honest about her background makes her work carry more weight. She also offers some political ways forward at the end. I agree though, this is really dark stuff and her demeanour isn’t exactly conciliatory for those with less.
Are you sure you're not mistaken about her accent ?
Sometimes I'll watch British documentaries and they'll be talking about death and torture with a tone as of they are talking about a vacation they took a month ago.
It's not that they aren't serious about the subject, just how they talk (I'm assuming)
It’s not her job to be consilitary towards us - it’s our job to be angry and rise up. Stop being victims and go protest
I’m 29 and I work very hard to afford an apartment. Many of my friends were just given one as they reached 20 years. They can study art and literature, go to concerts, have a social life, start a family etc.
I’m stuck working overtime and I barely see my friends or I’ll fall even further behind. I hate unregulated capitalism. It just transform society to a competition, one that’s rigged and the winners are declared before it even starts.
Man, I wish this was talked about more often. It's the haves and have nots.
Those two are definitely haves. They remind me of that song by Pulp; Common People.
It's talked about all the time.
And envy.
Why don't you direct your frustration at the parasitic elite who created this environment on purpose?
Sadly, many, not all, but many are disadvantaged due to poor and selfish decisions made by their parents who waste money and opportunities
The mum and dad bank saves future generations. It is working like that for at least 15 years. The biggest disaster is mum and dad's who think their kids should earn their wealth like they did. Those parents are a real disaster for their kids because they totally missed how times have changed. This is however what I see most of the time with struggling millennials as a consequence.
Ahh the boomers never had it so good but let’s not forget the crazy rise in interest rates they had during the 70’s or 80’s, can’t remember which
Or the parents that have no wealth to give… and have lots of kids.
@@James-ht6uwThere are poor boomers and disabled boomers - and plenty of young people are going to be well off due to inheritances….it will widen the chasm between wealthy and poor.
they probably didn't earn that wealth. They were probably given a proportion of it by their parents.
It breaks up families. My own dad is basically a eugenicist who divided his offspring into the 'deserving' and less so. You can't rely on the bank of Mum and Dad. Best thing to do is quit the UK and watch it sink
My dad died this march and I was given a lump sum to cover rent in NYC. I went to private school and studied music in college but we lost our house and were broke for years so I've experienced the extremes of both. Honestly, I'd take my healthy father over his life insurance payout any day.
I was born in 1961 and I really related to this discussion. It was an expert dissection of how one's life chances in the UK now do relate to one's family situation. Well done!
It’s a sliding scale how much hard work impacts wealth accumulation.
Money flows up. People realized this, so in the post WWII era, redistributive tax policies and worker protections were in place allowing hard work to play a huge role.
Since Reagan and Thatcher, the importance that hard work plays in determining wealth accumulation has been sliding down.
Arguably the two most accidentally anti hard work people in history.
Born in 86. Lucky enough to have parents in London and grew up in London. Lucky enough to have parents who taught me the value of saving money and education whilst growing up on benefits. Lucky enough my parents were able to do Right To Buy. Lucky enough to focus on getting a house in London with the help of the bank of mom and dad. Lucky enough to have a career in London and now a higher rate tax payer.
I'm definitely contributing to the wealth inequality with my children as I'm focusing on saving money for them before they are 18. I'm fully aware of that and sadly that's the way it's going to be. And damn straight the bank of grandma and grandad is helping my children as well.
I've been lucky and I know my children are lucky simply by being my children: parents who live in London with the means to save money for them.
Lucky
Rich
A lot of southern millennials are having to grapple with the choice of having to move up north to buy a house and escape the spiralling unaffordable rent trap - but knowing that it will make houses increasingly unaffordable for local northerners. Choosing between your own children's futures, and the futures of other people's children. It shouldn't have to be like this.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but your kids will never leave home, the dream of renting will be out of reach, and by the time their career gets to the point that they can support themselves, you'll have been long gone.
Lucky? I thought you "lived" in London?
So basically she says young people are not lazy but will happily sponge of their parents who never sponged off their parents.The irony that the woman being interviewed talks about finactial independence yet sponged of her parents all her life and only looked after her parents when they were dying to get her inheritance instead of it being spent on social care.Her book should be titled how to sponge of my parents all my life.
Aussie here. The inheritocracy is and will bring Australia to its knees. Some fun facts.
1. The bank of Mum and Dad is the biggest lender after the big 4 banks to fund property in Australia.
2. Increasingly in Australia, grandparents are supporting the bank of Mum and Dad to support their grandchildren to buy property.
3. In Sydney, there are only 13 suburbs with an average house price below $1M AUD.
Personally, at my last tax return where I earned around $140K over the financial year (no debt), my accountant told me I will continue to be the working poor until I am earning closer to the $200K mark.
He made his remarks based on the current cost of living in Australia including servicing a mortgage, having a family and saving a little bit of money on the side.
Most of my peers that are earning around the same or more than me, and are coupled with peers in simalir income brackets require money from their parents to buy property. Its not because they don't have savings, its because a $100K deposit is worthless when houses are being sold for $500K over reserve.
Leave Sydney you say? Well I did. However the situation in most Australian cities is just as bad.
The inheritocracy is also affecting dating and mating options. So happy to see this be touched on.
On that final point, either women get used to men that live with their families or we're going to be importing a lot more people lol.
An ozy documentary about the housing issue was in my suggestions. I watched it and my first thought was that you could broadcast this in Britain, all you need to do is change all the Oz references for Britain. Exactly the same, turning housing into an investment.
People haven't even switched on that the smart parents are also bumping up the kids super when they 1st start working so it has 40 years to compound. Work out helping to pay down the house at a later date.
It’s neoliberal policy, thanks major parties, especially John Howard. It benefited many Australians but is increasingly pushing many out. My response as someone whose parents would love to give us more help but don’t have the means (we are welcome to live at home cheaply) is opting out of kids and adjusting my view of normal.
I moved out to a country town for a more affordable lifestyle and bought a 3bed house for 475k. I had the benefit of remote work however. If you can access a spot on a First Home Guarantee scheme with the Federal Gov you can get a loan with a 5% deposit provided you can service the mortgage
Yup.
I earn >£100k - far more than most - and yet I live in a 2-bedroom flat, hoping to graduate to a family home one day.
I have friends & colleagues who earn half what I do, but they either own property or their parents do.
At some point, it occurred to me that unless I become a C-suite executive at a major company, or a celebrity (both rather unlikely)... I can basically never usurp these people. They will always be wealthier than I am & will always have a better quality of life than I do. Our comparative career earnings are largely irrelevant.
When I raise the death of meritocracy with those on either the left or the right, the unanimous response is always "you should be more grateful!"
Well, okay, sure. What this doesn't address is the core issue at hand... which is that I no longer work hard. And my wealthy friends no longer work hard either. Their position is unassailable, so why would they? And some of my poorer friends have given up working altogether. I don't blame them. Why would anyone work hard in a system which offers such meagre rewards? You'd have to be mad.
Ultimately, the death of the meritocracy hurts us all, but there's little appetite to fix it. Our attitudes are rotten.
Western capitalism is devolving to the level of East European Communism. We pretend to work and they pretend to pay us.
@DewiSant-o3y Yes. Few have my wage, but the vast majority have far more wealth than me already.
The UK median household net wealth is approximately £300k. I have less than half this. Even if I endure a modest, below average quality of life and save hard, it's going to take me decades to catch up to the average UK household.
I pay £35k in tax a year straight out my payslip. When you add in council tax, VAT etc... probably half my salary is taxed away.
Did you see the Tories put out a video of a man in the big house - seemingly wearing a rolex worth £1,000s - complaining about the loss of his winter fuel allowance??
That's MY money he's taking to pay all his bills! Just so he can pass on his nice house & his watch collection onto his kids - at the expense of mine.
Cooperation? I'm not a particularly materialistic person, but I've never felt less cooperative in my life. If anyone wanted my cooperation, they should have listened decades ago when I was pointing out this forecoming problem to everyone like a deranged street preacher.
Nobody listened then. Nobody listens now.
Labour or Tories - you're all vultures, seizing any modest prosperity I may have hoped to build to stuff the solid gold coffers of some wealthy group or other.
It's far too late for cooperation from me. 1 penny extra tax goes on me and I'm quitting my job & sitting on park benches with a bottle of White Lightning. You lot can pay my bills for a change.
You have yourself to blame.
@@kbrp5493 Lol. Insightful contribution. For what exactly?
@@CentralisLiberale Ever thought of investing into risk assets?
If you did this in 2020, maaaaaan, you wouldn't be here talking to me I'd tell you that much smh
I earnt your wage by investing 15K within that year.
Spot on about the divorce section! I come from a divorced family and have seen the impacts financially on my parent, particularly my mother (royally fucked over). Now that I am engaged, a prenup is at the top of my list, and keeping finances separate is a big priority. I never want to be divorced, but I also never want to be hit by a bus. You still gotta look before you leap and take the necessary precautions.
If my parents had never divorced, I would probably not be pushing for it as much, but seeing what happens without it, it's now a deal breaker not to have one.
My mum was a single mother of one. My father did not pay child support.
I am set to inherit 2 houses that she bought by herself - when she passes I will have a retirement. I struggle to explain to her how different her opportunities were to mine. I have a masters degree, engineer, full time job and until I moved country there was 0% chance I could get a house.
Thatcherism
You have the opportunity of inheriting two houses.
@@rigelb9025 Trust me!
@@SigFigNewton i think they are agreeing with you.
Because this generation can't see past the lifestyles that today's younger people live. They see it as extravagant, impulsive, selfish and self centered . People used to save for what they wanted. Instant gratification wasn't as easy as it is today. People are falling for all the traps laid to part them from their money. Holidays, cars, clothes, eating out etc which many view today as essentials.
33 here just about managed to get into a position to get on the housing ladder. After managing to stay with parents and work from home to get my savings. Made me realise one of the biggest barriers is renting, its far too expensive.
Vacancy Tax on long term vacancies.
If the basic human need that were in short supply largely due to it being hoarded were food…
Yay well done ! And you did because you clearly took a sensible decision to live with parents til you could afford. It’s a smart choice that many don’t and then complain they can’t afford to buy.
@luswyr8254 you do realise many people can't stay with their parents?
@@DavidsKüche I am aware. Yes. What's your point?
You are extremely privileged and lucky to have been able to live with parents in the first place 🤍
On the other side of the coin, my house could end up being used to fund my care if I ended up in a care home and my children would end up with next to nothing. So downsizing means my children would get the money now before the government gets their hands on my equity. I live in a 3 bed terraced house in Liverpool. So I am not rich. I was the first person in my family to go to college, to go to university, to get a good job and buy a house. I did this as a single mum. I have broke the cycle of poverty and renting for me and my children. All my kids have gone to university too but housing is now unaffordable. So downsizing is the solution for all of us. Plus it stops the government taking all my money/equity if I end up in social care. I get a smaller place so it will be easier to manage as I get older. My children will have the deposit for a small flat. So as far as I am concerned it makes sense to do that.
This young lady got my persona way too accurately.
Born between 95 - 00, living with my parents to save money, they helped with my education, multiple side gigs on top of my full time job (even tho I don't consider myself "savvy" by any stretch of the imagination), highly qualified yet can't afford shit, thinking about changing career, peers who own a home or a new car got help from parents (and yes, they had to be thoroughly questioned in order to make them confess), and the list goes on... And I'm not even British
Born in 83. Myself & all my friends were able to go to uni under the old smaller tuition fees. Get graduate jobs before the 2008 crash, establish careers & get on the property ladder before 2015 when house prices took off. People born a 5-10 year later hit the higher tuition fees, harder job market & crazy rent & house prices.
I was born in 86 and graduated in 2008 😬
Born in 92 didn't go to uni bought in 2014. dodged a bullet.
Born in 94. 2008 crash hit just before I left secondary school. Tuition fees went up just before I went to uni, house prices went up just before I finished uni and was earning enough to save for a deposit...
Just managed to buy myself a place but it's required a huge deposit and if I'd been born 5 years earlier it would've been a lot easier.
I was born 1987 and graduated in 2009 - the graduate job market was toast. Worst year to graduate in 50 years. It has cast a shadow over my entire career. Never got on a grad scheme and therefore missed the fast track to success which so many grad schemes are!
'87 kid...graduated in 2010 (MChem Oxford)...saw loads of people lose their job offers in '08/'09 after the massive crash. Luckily I managed to stay on and do a DPhil (sheltered a bit from the crap job market by delaying going into it and getting proper bench science training [and some extra letters]). Having said that, it was a ball ache to get something decent after I finished my postdoc and ended up in a literal slave labour job in a lab (fuck EvoTec! Gave far too much work and refused to pay much overtime, so you essentially were forced work free hours or be fired)...then pandemic hit, so it took me another 18 months to escape that job. Anyway, I got out of that shit situation and I finally managed to buy a house with my gf, but there was definitely a bit of luck in me finding the house ad and it working out (and being able to save a deposit over COVID etc. ...helps to be a cheap Yorkshireman, sometimes. Ha).
Stay strong out there, people. Keep up the good fight.
My parents had me buy a small house at 25, I had to sell a lot of stuff back then (boys toys) to make the 10% deposit my parents put in the other 10% I was single and live with my parents at the time. But was married 2 years later because we were young enough we worked hard and paid it out by 40. We later sold it and downsized moved to an apartment, and I own this as well. The other is the community parent known people and family members have skills that save money. My uncle and Dad did the garden, my father in law got me a job when I was made redundant, my brother in law fixed my car. The other side is as retired and elderly we now support them and care for them.
I'm an elder millennial and two things from this conversation came up for me. I stopped at my Bachelors degree even though I wanted a Master's and maybe a PhD, but because I came from a poor family, there was no money for me to go to school, and I took out student loans to pay for school for my first degree, and couldn't fathom racking up $100,000 in student loan debt to finish advanced degrees. Meanwhile, while I was in college my mom lost our house in a forecloser, and she had to move back in with my grandmother. I didn't have a dad in my life at all. So, absolutely no bank of mom and dad.
Also, I think something people don't talk about how having a bank of mom and dad or at least a family with resources makes you WAY more attractive in the dating market. Either you are just less stressed all the time because you don't have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, so you can properly date, or you're access to your family's resources actually makes you more attractive to another person, because they are not only marrying/committing to you, but they are gaining an extended family with means.
I think people with access to familial resources and people without resources, both prefer to date/marry people with familial resources. So, coming from a poor background, especially if it's single-parent one is like being out in the dating market missing your arms or your legs. You are seen as a charity case, a liability, or as more of a responsibility than what someone else wants to take on.
So true money rules everything its shit.
28yo here. Been working since I was 17. I'm so glad to learn that there's a term for home I'm living. Kid-dult. Got a dead end job and I cant afford to go back into studying. I've applied to so many jobs recently but have had no luck so I'm just stuck working in the same dead-end job that I've been trapped in for years. Don't care about having children. Still living with parents, mum lost her job and now me paying to live there is helping them keep their lifestyle. Probably not getting an inheritance and probably never going to afford to retire. Unless I can get a better job then I'm just fucked.
What would you want to study if you could?
@@awilliams7796 I honestly have no idea. I'm a hairdresser by trade, so I have a small side hustle already. I like working with my hands, so welding was one thought. Or something outdoors related. Green engineering is something that's needed in the UK too. Also boiler engineers. Too much maths in engineering sadly, already tried that as a teenager.
I am 30, I have a job that pays me 60k usd a year. I live at home, I save alot of money. Despite how much I save and the fact I have enough for a down payment on a 400k house, I don’t even qualify for it. So I will ultimately end up having to move to the middle of nowhere or in an undesirable area/ state. Or rent forever until I also have to eventually sell my parents house to take care of them. Assuming I never make more than this, which isn’t going to happen. But still, even as someone who is “getting ahead” I am still fked lol
Only exception to that is getting married, but I don’t bet on that because I haven’t even had a real serious girlfriend in like 4 years. And plus I am scared of divorce and losing all my money lol. But I am also interested in going back to school, we aren’t alone lol
@@zachz699 the money saving aspect is awesome. But not even qualifying to buy is so cruel! Im on £25.5k and thats a full time wage here🤌🏻 my brother is on £55k and he's now doing good, he was struggling to pay childcare when he was on £45k, it's a joke! In the UK the bar to buy keeps moving, it takes 9 years on average to save, 12 if you're in London. And as you say, that sometimes isn't enough. Relationships can be overated, but if you don't already, get into a hobby that gets you out the house to meet people, online dating is a trap. I feel the same about marriage though, it's a massive commitment and that's what's I'm afraid of.
I don’t think the main issue is the bank of mum and dad, although that helps, but rather just having a stable mum and dad, rich or not to offer support, childcare options and perhaps a place to stay
You were never working class if there was a bank of mum and dad, safety nets and owned property in south london.
Yeah..She's a Blur person acting working class, but really middle-class. Parents have 3 houses and she's dating artists..Yep very working-class.
She literally said she realised she wasn't working class... That is the point of her story
@@jcooper2373 Hence my Blur comment. Blurs think they're working class people, but then they realise they're not. Then they turn into ppl from Pulps common people. Spectators.
She states that, clearly. She thought that she was working class as a young person but realises now that she was far from it.
She literally called herself out on the label. Maybe watch the whole video?
My parents were literally rags to riches immigrants and they fully supported me financially even after I turned 18. They truly understand how it feels when you don't have a lot of money, no rich parents and were at one point unemployed in a big city. Piggybacking to your parents is not new or should be seen as shameful. Most of the world outside of select developed countries has been doing that; multigenerational homes for multigenerational incomes. The kids end up more rich and successful than the parents and family bonds are typically stronger for that reason. Its even more so if other hardworking relatives live in the same house. Most typically live seperately once they find a partner, can afford to or when going to college.
This is so depressing, and accurate. I'm one of the lucky ones, and my husband too. We got help from both sides of the family. Education with no debt, free child-care when we needed it, help with cash down on a mortgage so we could qualify (which we did pay back), purchases of things the house or our kids needed etc. And still just managing. No education savings for our 3 kids, and a laughably small amount of retirement savings - almost no other investments.
One time my mother in law commented about how little the average retiree has to live on (trying to imply that her generation has had it much harder than our generation). She said that even if that person has a fully paid off house that isn't enough to live off of, and I was absolutely shocked because the amount she stated was the after-mortgage amount that our family of 5 was living on - and she thought it would be impossible for 1 person to live on!
What scares me the most is that we won't have the same resources to help our kids. But I've been honest with them about how things are so they have an expectation that we will all have to work together. One thing we do have though is that our mortgage will be paid off by the time they are adults, and it is an acreage - large enough that we can legally split it in two, and also in our area, each property can have 2 homes on it, so if need be, enough land for four different homes - ours and 1 for each of our kids. I fear that with less to give then we got, our kids will still be some of the "lucky" ones in their generation.
Highlights for me (stated at the very end):
-raise awareness of this
-make inheritance matter less
-tax wealth more than wage
-free up housing market
Also very interesting points about how your financial situation affects your dating life and your dating prospects.
Wealth taxes make it so, that if you yourself get out of this situation you can't save for your kids.
Born in ‘81 and part of the elder millennial generation, I’m currently shouldering the heavy financial burden of caring for an elderly parent. We’re asset-rich but cash-poor, with much of my inheritance and my parent’s retirement income from rental properties locked in real estate. This leaves me with little financial flexibility, while I’m expected to help maintain these properties that are “destined to come my way,” even though I can’t afford to buy a home of my own. To make matters worse, my parent has been financially hoarding, didn’t handle their estate planning well, and is extremely resistant to making necessary changes, leaving me feeling trapped. I’m exhausted, stuck in a financial rut, and struggling to move forward.
Sounds difficult. Perhaps meet with financial advisors with your parents in attendance. It might help to convince them to make the changes required.
“Financially hoarding”… care to elaborate on that one?
absolutely bananas to be renting out properties while you are also renting. that's just tax for the tax man and a cost to you. evict a tenant and move in yourself at a 70% rate. they still get their money, you get more cash in your pocket and the money spent is going to your inheritance or the mortgage. speak to a financial planner as said by another poster.
OMG same story although the parents are healthy! But gosh this boomer generation are the same they own loads do no planning and would rather give the money to the tax max!tell your parents to give you the property rights now and benefit from the 7 years to have them tax free. Because once they pass on you are fucked with inheritance tax!
81 you are gen x mot even close to millennials. That starts in 87
As one of the lucky boomers who bought a house when they were very affordable I get annoyed with other people my age who say that younger people are lazy and just need to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”. Our young people are saddled with university debts, underpaid jobs and housing and auto cost through the roof. I think we have the moral obligation to assist our children with our time and resources the best we can.
I happily paid for my daughter’s first car, her undergrad and graduate degrees and down payment assistance on her first house. I have pre paid for her 2 year old daughter’s future university tuition to insure they have the same shot of having a good life that I had. I admire these two intelligent and caring young women immensely. Congratulations to them both, I bet your parents are extremely proud of you!
It's unsustainable and none of the politicians in power have any clue of what they're doing.
Messing with the economy, keeping wages stagnant, building no social housing, austerity and Brexit (among other factors) have created this outcome and it will cause a collapse.
It's so depressing to come after some of the greediest generations and for us to be blamed for their problems.
We failed to elect Corbyn, seeing that outcome we failed to forcefully install him. We had our chance to change the course.
@@czarkusa2018what pro Brexit corbs of the abstaining & enabling of Brexit class of 2017
@@Claire-dg3gh Unfortunately that was a result of his democracy-absolutionism. I think he's learned his lesson on that after refusing to purge the party on the grounds that its representatives had been elected.
@@czarkusa2018 possibly or IMHO links to a geo political affiliation with a 'brother from the same mother' as known national security risk & disgraced former PM Johnson. Two peas in different kompromate pods.
mark my words, with depression rising so do the chances of civil war.
Politicians focus on making companies (and themselves) richer, creating more derrision and hatred (Class war, gender war, racial war)
And yea on top of that "The young generations need to pull themselves up from their bootstraps" - Some of the older generation are honest and say how easy it was compared to today, but most completely refuse to believe it. The other day an older coworker (mother) was so astouned that one of her daughters asked to finance her home and was laughing. They don't understand a single f*ing thing. That was a cry for help.
As a Gen x married woman, downsizing our home isn't possible. We are nursing an elderly parent here (for the second time), two our of three adult children are working hard but living at home to save for the future - and in the new year two days a week we will be looking after 1st grandchild here to help our eldest daughter....multi generational living seems to by the way for our family and certainly not what I had envisioned but I am trying to make the best of it Don't be so hard on men. My husband and others are already helping with looking after elderly parents in ways that that they hadn't expected, such as personal care. Life is tricky for everyone...
return to multigenerational households as we have done for centuries.
@@anthonylulham3473 Exactly. No empty nest here, and it's the same for other families that I know.
You sound like a lovely woman who is doing the best for your family… and I know some may say your children will have had it so easy because you helped, but you sacrificed for them and that’s how families help their future generations get ahead. Some complain life is unfair and some look what they can do to help kudos to u
You won't need to downsize your property if you're caring for the elderly relative, no doubt you'll be getting some sort of inheritance soon
Are your kids saving in pounds?
Yes, I realised this when I was 18 and a few of my close friends received inheritance from grandparents dying. Most of them got between £10k-20k, one got £120k. I didn’t get anything from mine nor do I expect to. I realised then that I would need to work several times harder in order to not “fall behind”
Avocado single handedly bankrupted a generation.
😂
I live on avocado, $2 per day on toast.
@@Discovery2024-rn8kn This is why you will never afford your own home.
🤣🤣🤣
Saving twenty bucks a week by trimming something like avocado toast saves a grand over te course of a year.
We should talk about the elephant in the room: Private equity funds.
Housing is now unaffordable because them.
Then the rest of the wheel is broken and young generations are stuck in a non-adulthood state for years, maybe forever.
The problem is that even working class people have workplace pensions nowadays....and once those pension funds have seen through their investments in Amazon etc, which are flat-lining....they're going to turn to being landlords. So the same thing that will kill off any hopes that millennials might have had, is the same thing millennials are saving towards and hoping towards. It's a cruel dilemma.
It’s merely a supply problem.
Impose a Vacancy Tax on long term vacancies to bring supply to market.
With sufficient supply, landlords will be in price wars to attract tenants and tenants will once again having spending money to support local businesses and the economy benefits.
Private equity compared to public reits is miniscule
I think boomers & x'ers silently decided to sacrifice one or two generations. The apathy of some parents towards their struggeling children is astonishing.
@@SigFigNewton It is not merely a supply problem. Property investment is driven by speculation, and there are financial incentives to invest in property rather than in the financial market.
It is refreshing to know that there is a large amount of the younger population getting financial aid from their parents. I am 37 and live in NYC with a business degree and I am barely making it, I have friends with much less lucrative jobs that have their own homes. Granted, I can be better at saving, but some of my peers are years ahead of me in their financial age.
Wife and I left university (1990’s) with money in our pockets. Flat in greater London was 3x our joint salary and we had the requisite deposit within a year. We did very well, very easily. But our children haven’t got anything like the same opportunities.
I live in a poorer area in the UK with a relatively well paid job and it's gutting seeing house prices here rise closer to problem areas. Here I can afford a flat on a single income, reducing costs compared to renting immensely, it feels like the way things should be but it's just fleeting and slightly upsetting as I have very few options to move elsewhere and afford anything like this.
Hard to believe this level of security used to be a common lived experienced elsewhere in the country.
Great discussion. I'm a baby boomer from Australia and it's similar here. I worked hard, but it was possible to progress economically through wages (homes were cheap and that was a way to build wealth). Now, it's so hard without help. Sad thing is, it's getting worse here. With few signs of change.
I’ve been diligently working, saving and contributing towards early retirement and financial freedom, but since covid outbreak, the economy so far has caused my portfolio to underperform, do I keep contributing to my 401k or look at alternative sectors to meet my goals.?
keep contributing to your 401K, remember you are in for the long haul, but I'd suggest you consider financial advisory
Hmmm this is quite interesting, Please can you leave the info of your investment advisor here? I’m in dire need for one.
I ran an online search on her name and came across her websiite; pretty well educated. thank you for sharing.
I realised this in my thirties after watching my friends buying properties in their twenties with small incomes.
"Once you hit 35 you start to realise you're no longer young" As a 35-year-old, take that back right now. I'm still young... right? I feel 28. 😅😅
45 is when it all kicks in. 35 is very very young and particularly for males. Despite what people say and what you hear, once you hit 50 and no matter how good you feel, it’s all down from that point and gets worse by the month. Older people lie
I couldn’t have relied on the bank of Mum & Dad, my parents died when I was a child. I joined the Army from school & after a short stint in the Army, I ended up homeless. I bought my house when I was 33. I feel lucky that I’ve been able to become a homeowner. When I was younger, I was very envious of friends who seemed have it “easy.”
Identified as working class while parents had 3 properties in London 😂 the accent was enough to figure out you weren’t.
Did you listen to the end of the anecdote?
In the 80s they were practically giving properties away in some parts of London
Her accent still sounds a bit London-like in places. Sometimes it changes just by being around people with different accents, not just due to class.
Accent? that's not posh- that's 'estuary English', albeit very articulately done.
That is not estuary, that's a standard southern middle class accent
This is all down to Thatcherism. Britain was built up with massive levels of public investment post war. All Thatcher did was start the process of selling off the State. The consequence is the government has became poorer and wealth has gravitated increasingly to a few. Thatcher was wicked IMO.
The world is bigger than Thatcher. This is happening all over the West.
And Reaganomics in the USA. The more I learn about Thatcher (from my own research as us Americans aren’t taught world history or anything other than US history in grade school) the more I feel like the US & the UK are the same place with different accents. I swear Thatcher and Reagan were just evil twins and ruined everything for all of us in both countries. Pretty sure folks from other countries can chime in and share their own story of whichever right wing/Republican (at least that’s what we call the bad guys here in the US) person ruined their entire country.
@@Runboyrun89 Thatcher didn't live in isolation. She was a product of her time. Like Reagan. And that belief system was pro-oligarch. So here we are
@danielduggan7126 I am old enough to remember Thatcher as well. It was the usual old Right Wing moan about unions , the equivalent of the moans about small boats today.
Yes, there were huge problems, both economic and societal. Over time, we would've moved forward on these difficulties with a more sensible and balanced approach. Thatcher was a wrecking ball, IMO.
@Runboyrun89 Yes, to varying degrees but if you look at most European countries, they have a more equal society, with less regional variations and fewer things like boarded up shops.
As a single mother who experienced 'broken family' as a child in the 70s (the only sole parent kid I knew at junior school has lost her mum to cancer) - it was not normal. I enjoyed free education, and couldn't wait to get out of town/the UK. For my own kids, I focused on healthy food, experiences, and lifestyle over material crap (a result of me not having a home base/dumping ground). When my 19 yera old got a job and needed a vehicle, I gave him mine, as it had better fuel economy and safety rating. I walk, as it's doable. Regarding housing, which has gone up almost tenfold in less than 20 years, I'll be putting the house as a joint ownership when the youngest turns 20. It's not worth much, but at least none of us will lose money paying rent.
I benefitted from my dad receiving a share of the sale of property from a widowed childless relative. This was later given as a gifted deposit.
This relative passed away after a lengthy stay in hospital and then nursing home - both paid for by state under the protection of "NHS continuing care". A fairly uncommon funding scenario. This arrangement meant the house was immune to demands to sell to fund care and this wealth was preserved.
My mum looked after our girls when my wife went to work.
Prior to that, we were renting and claiming housing benefit. Dad inherited this wealth, not me. He passed it on when both my wife and I were earning enough to pay a mortgage repayment. DWP/local authority would soon come crashing down like a ton of bricks if they got wind of a large chunk of money.
We are very lucky. We are fortunate to have family that supported us this way.
Lucky you! In America a lot of care homes bankrupt estates in order to pay for services.😮
What an incredible watch. She’s right, I wish this was written 15 years ago.
My key takeaways:
My generation (30F) rely on the Bank of Mum and Dad with childcare, free rent when saving for a house, college fees, uni accommodation. We claim we’re working class but this is a middle class indicator.
My generation need to realise it’s unlikely we will get an inheritance. This is going towards our parents care as they age.
Changing a babies diaper is different from changing my dads. I need to realise this.
18:08 "Those that are really unfortunate who don't get ther inheritance early and will have to wait for their parents to pass away". Wow. I can't believe my parents have the audacity to stay alive, spending MY inheritance bucks on their retirement, having earned it over 50 years working. How dare they not die after raising me and supporting me financially through my adulthood.
I'm 46, working class, and will be mortgage free in 6 years. Houses were ridiculously cheap in the 00. Those days are well and truly over. We need a society where renters are protected much better. I feel sorry for working-class people, they are working to own absolutely nothing.
Sorry to burst your bubble but you are not working class 😅
@@withwilk7473 You've got me!!! I listen to times radio, who am i kidding 😂😂
So if you own a house you’re not working class anymore.
@@bye-72 I'll be mortgage free when I'm 50, so i guess that will make me upper class 😂😂
@@colofsco1 you have done well, I bet your frugal.
Unfortunately people won’t make sacrifices anymore.
I never had a ‘bank of mum and did’.
My parents divorced young, and I ended up supporting my mum who was terrible with money (credit card debt, pyramid schemes, bailiffs you name it).
Not all of us ‘millennials’ had nice family homes and parents to help pay our bills.
Third generation immigrant with two junkies for parent. Amen, fellow person.
That’s literally her main talking point ‘not all’ thus the class divide. Please listen before boring everyone with your sob story
@@elhartleyothat’s a little harsh. They’re clearly just fucked off and want a rant. Give em’ a break.
No. The commenters main point was this speaker missed that not all millennials had it so good, who is she to speak? Which is exactly what the person is getting at. This is why we cannot have a sensible conversation about money because people cannot resist jumping in with their ‘what about me’ which results in a race to the bottom- ‘who had it harder growing up’. You can even see this in the comment below talking about parents being junkies
@@elhartleyoPlease think before damning someone’s comment
As a boomer dad from the USA, the analysis is very applicable to us as well. I was lower class, my wife middle class. We were educated together, she has high school teacher I was CEO of a regional nonprofit. We were able to buy a rural house and subsidize our two daughters education. One is an engineer one a chemist they finished college without debt. The engineer married an engineer, the chemist is autistic and works but lives at home. My wife retired so she could watch the engineers children. Our daughter always talks about how she is advantaged over most of contemporaries. We are appreciative has is she.
Eliza’s comments about men and finance are complete clap trap - her views are based on her unusual position of being an effective trust fund baby.
Lots of common sense here. One thing that maybe wasn't discussed in the interview was the concept of meritocracy. Consider this very real scenario: If you're putting in 50hr working weeks doing a "middle-class" job in your 30s - you may not even be able to rent a private apartment in London without sacrifices. Meanwhile, the new Grad you manage has a swanky pad and takes a taxi to work.
This!
How about civil servants in Whitehall, unless you have parental support anyone below G7 is living in a house share. It's bonkers, supposedly helping run the country, can't afford a one bed to yourself.
@@bojoggs-ik8tq You are the people that make the rules! It is the civil service that has brought the country to its knees! We can't vote you bu**ers and your opinions out!
The whole point of this discussion was to dispel meritocracy. While a noble concept, it’s not the entire picture. We have unchecked balances blurring the lines.
That's fair, since his parents and your parents made different financial choices. It would be wrong to undo all that.
"Merit" has to do with hiring, not with who gets to buy a house.
Respect for her to being honest about her class position
silver lining is that you can get really drunk if you have a shot every time they say "the bank of mum and dad"
I'm not married don't own a home. And still rely on parents financially. Ive actually got a really good job and have a company car. I even imagine someone on a doctors salary would struggle now. To own a house get married and have children.
Tech worker in a relationship with a doctor here. It's rough, even for us.
@@steffenkautz1460 genuinely curious, what do you consider rough?
I'd kill to have a steady food supply
@@steffenkautz1460 Where do you live?
@@steffenkautz1460 do you have any kids ?
@@BlessingofGebif you live in the uk, go to shops after 5pm. I have got a meal for 75p reduced from £6.50 or £6.65 (two for 75p each). There can be huge savings if you go at the right time.
Without my parents effectively being affordable landlords I wouldn't be here today. I'm in my mid 30s and still cannot begin to afford a house, and don't have it in me to work ridiculous hours just to have a roof over my head. What's the point working 50% of your time, sleeping 35% of your time. I'd genuinely rather be dead.
Work is the most important thing in a person's life. Not a hobby, not entertainment, but work. You were born to work. Enjoy work and you will be happy.
Imagine that, a strong family structure with parents that make smart decisions is good for their children and society.
Shocking isn't it. How could anyone possibly have known!
Amazing how few of the commenters seem to be taking this message away.
Under capitalism yes, however social media, media in general and lack of social programs that REALLY help couples hasn’t existed for long if at all if we are to survive our economic system we have to change the rules to benefit more of our population. Having to stay together for financial reasons causes so much divorce and unhealthy family dynamics
These women had the privilege, but want it to be taxed away for others.
Born in 89 and there is myself and one other friend who is married with kids, a good job and a house. Everyone else is doing ok but not where you would expect. Living like our parents and their generation is the exception not the rule.
If you see the problem? Why not search for s a solution for the money debasement?
My dad said once “working class living a middle class lifestyle.”
Can you imagine what it was like for us Gen Xers who were the children of immigrants.
The Bank of mum and dad never ever was a thing, that was reserved for the English. I watched all my English friend leave home, have kids, buy another home, all the while I lived with my parents😢
I lived with parents until my 40s and only got a lucky break through my constant hustle and when a business finally paid off and I could afford to buy a house.
Had my luck not come in, had I not worked so hard to make that luck happen, I would be a 50 year old sharing a room with house mates 😢
If this didn’t work out I would have been screwed.
You seemed to have skipped a whole lot in your story. Between 20 and 40 whilst you where saving from your business, saving on rent, the rest of us have no savings, underpaid jobs, skyhigh rent
I think your mixing up class and race there. I come from a town where bank of mum and dad was for like 10 of the townspeople.
Stop listening to podcasts and actually touch grass, preferably in a northern town.
We as immigrants had no luxury of living with mum and dad because our mums and dads are in another country. No luxury of help with childcare either.
@flippy66 how much rent did your mum and dad charge you?
Be honest.
@@sonicwingnutI paid most of the rent for the house and the bills.
I thought if I left then we would all struggle so instead it made sense to stay contribute to the bills look after my parents, and everyone wins.
Even from a US perspective this is very head on. Rents are so high right now for top 20 US cities, it's hard for working adults to live by themselves. Housing costs have also boomed since covid, many friends even working lawyers and doctors got downpayment assistance or even monthly payment support from families.
Not to mention the migration of people from larger cities to more rural areas post pandemic
Did she really blame her bad choices in dating on men? Like girl you made bad choices you actually enforced those guys bad behaviour through financial and sexual provision
What ive learnt from family members and others is when you get old you end up selling everything you inherited or bought mortgage etc to pay for your care , so a lifetime of working hard saving all gone to pay your local private care home at a few thousand a month bleeding you dry , so is it really worth it ?
We build up wealth to eat the wealth later. Rather than creating a multi generational wealth making machine in investments.
Oh yes, I worked in the care industry for years and every company I've worked for was owned by a greedy, profit driven businessman who provide mediocre care.
I was born in 1994 and I’ve never felt so seen good lord.
Doesn’t give me any hope though lol.
The End is Nigh!
Same 😂
92 here. Preaching to the choir.
"they" actually want you to think you can do nothing. See how fast a $hitstorm in the internet can change a lot.
But unfortunately gen z and millenials are quite quiet. Probably because politicians and companies work together against the younger generations.
Both unterstood the principle of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend".
96 and yep 💀
This really resonates with me. Literally everything discussed is describing my situation. I am 36 married and stuck in the rental trap. I've just discovered my nans estate is worth just over 1 million tied up in assets and stocks and shares. My wife's nan is the same. My nan has just payed my mums mortgage off as she has been unable to work since having a heart attack a few months back. My mum & dad divorced the early 90s and now my dad is on his 3rd marriage and she also has 2 kids. To say it's complicated things is an understatement. They have 3 properties 2 off which have been let out. My step sister is on the ladder only because she had 25k land in her lap from an inheritance 8 years ago when she was 26. Yet her mum likes to make out she "worked hard" for her house. Not to mention the extra 10k her now husband put in from his family. I realised some time ago it doesn't matter how hard you work or what you do, it's massively down to luck and fortune. Anyway I think I will buy the book
Hard work does matter. We might like to pretend it does not. How many of us gave it our all at school, did our research on the best paying careers and how our natural abilities to see how we could maximise our self.
Fortune does not come to the lazy and envious. Fortune loves noble people.
The way you wrote this tells a lot about mindset. If that changes more good will come.
This conversation lends to my belief that we severely lack community across the world. It's a massive dysfunction of humanity.