'I don't give a Shi* you got that?' Narcissistic mother responds to criticism
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
- Now that we've looked at the video by a narcissistic mother, I'm going to analyse and give my thoughts on her response to the criticism of it, left in comments, by her viewer's. To re-cap, a couple of viewers alerted me to a video they said triggered them. It was made by a mother whose daughter cut off from her. It's about the ways in which she tried to reach back out, and the feelings she experienced. That might sound ok. Yet the three of us were left feeling disturbed after watching it. I think you'll quickly see why...
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If your child is happier without you in their life, look inward. With honesty.
Thank you.. You said in one sentence what I always thought and couldn't express myself. persons with happy childhoods would never distance themselves from their family, so there must be a reason! A very painful reason, I cannot even look at pictures with my mother, or hear her voice. Last time I saw her she criticized me that I was cold and stiff when she hugged me.. She stated that with a very whiny voice, rolling her eyes, because I'm so bad that even my body isn't doing the right thing in her eyes.. To be honest I didn't even realize until she told me that my body was frozen when she hugged me.. Well, she never had the idea that maybe, just maybe that I did that unconsciously as a response to her abusive behaviour... You can't reason to these people.
Exactly. You summed up perfectly what is at the core of so many situations where children do not want to be around their parent(s).
Narcissists will never do it, they only go into shame rage spirals
Oh man, if only the people who needed this advice the most could accept it
So well said!
This is a perfect example of how it doesn’t pay to call out a narcissist. They won’t see it and they won’t change.
@@lr9559 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@@lr9559yes!! That’s why I do call them out. Even though it makes me look crazy. There was a time when nobody said anything when husbands beat their wives. The tides are changing for this type of non-physical abuse and I’m so glad.
But it depends on why you're calling them out. If it's so that they will suddenly change their personalities, I agree with you.
@@LiveAbuseFree It definitely can validate others who are experiencing abuse from the narcissist to call them out.
Your response to narcissists enables their narcissism. Call them out. Ignore them. Some people were born simply to be an example to others.
This Diane woman has done so much good. She went out trying to shame her daughter and ended up validating the experiences of thousands of adult children who have chosen to step back from parents like her. By being so utterly and completely self-centered, she is helping us all stay free from her (and their) influence.
Streisand effect in a way
@@carrieeloff2220so true!
Yes, it's fantastic isn't it! She's done a great job, ironically! :)
Yes, well said ❤
@@carrieeloff2220yes!! She set out to subtly put her daughter on blast and ended up getting a face-full of the truth! Now that I know how TH-cam and internet savvy Mom really is, she knew people would be able to find Daughter’s socials.
I would hope that if literally thousands of people told me I was a narcissist; I’d at least run it by my therapist.
Oh definitely. I was really concerned that I was a narc for awhile. I heard from my therapist and others that real narcissists will not consider that they might be one.
She doesn't have enough self knowledge to even have a therapist.
Narcissist and therapy are like oil and water. They don’t want to go anywhere near it and risk their false self. I saw a quote recently that said “Narcissism - the only disorder where everyone but the inflicted ends up in therapy.”
You didn't hear the unhinged rant about the therapy industrial complex? It's in her original video. Bring a facepalm guard.
I'm not sure if therapists outright tell people they are narcissists. That seems like a bad idea, a good way to lose a client, surely.
I'm a 45 year old mom of two and i went off on her in the comments. That woman sees what she wants to see and ignores reality. I hope her daughter is safe and healing.
Thank you for speaking up and telling her how it is. She may not have taken anything from it, but I know it has to be a bit harder for her to ignore another parent like yourself telling her she's wrong than it is for people like me (a rightfully estranged adult child) to tell her. People like me, she can brush off, but someone who's also a parent (like her) telling her... not as easy.
@@khaleesireyna731 I used to be told by my narc mom how I would one day understand when I had a child of my own and by golly was she correct. It wasn't until I had a son that I could no longer fathom how she treated me and I could only feel disgust for it.
This lady is a piece of work. If her goal was to make sure her daughter will never break no contact, then she has done a stand up job.
Two things about this woman stand out to me based on the videos: 1) She has always been considered physically beautiful regardless of her age. 2) She has always been financially affluent with access to exceptional monetary resources. People with those traits more easily develop narcissism. This woman probably thinks she's prettier than her daughter, and her daughter is jealous of that 'fact.'
Yup!! She’s not even my mom and I want to go no contact.
Hugs to her daughter. I really hope (but doubt) she’s watching these videos (Zoey’s) so she can see the how much love and support she has.
@@danepatterson8107omg I hadn’t thought of that but I think you might be right on!
Her daughter made the right choice for sure!
😅😅😅
Her fake smile is unbearable.
Yes - I had to look away from the screen so that image doesn't remain in my memory.
I have to skip through it. I see my ex through her face and expressions.
yup, pure, unadulterated contempt
Her smile is so unsettling. I can almost feel her rage simmering just below the surface.
The music she choose almost makes the video seem like parody. It’s so hilariously tragic. This video was healing for me because I went through issues with my mom, but she owned it and attended therapy with me. This woman’s video helped me realize what an unhealthy response looks like.
This woman makes it painfully obvious why her daughter cut ties. She lost an energy supply with her daughter, and that enrages her.
and an audience...so she wants TH-cam to fill the hole
💯💯💯💯
I think that it VERY true....
It resonates I'm me.
And now her only way of getting supply from her daughter is indirectly. She's triangulating her social media world against her daughter and using their relationship and her daughters pain to MAKE MONEY as well as gain fuel ... she utterly disgusts me. She should be put in jail.
Enraged. That’s the perfect way to describe her. I get a very “how dare you” vibe from her. Cringy.
Under Diane's claims of victimhood lies a murky lake of hatred, cruelty, and contempt for her daughter. There's a glint of sadistic intent in her eyes and I am horrified by what her daughter must have gone through so far.
She doesn't want a daughter, she wants a puppet to show off what an amazing mother she is. A friend of mine grew up this way and cut contact decades ago.
Oh my god, you managed to articulate exactly what I was feeling watching her! Thank you!
If the daughter's social media is the one that I think it is, then I suspect there's an element of envy here, too. The daughter is young and beautiful, and shows that through cosplay... and image-conscious Diane, with the way she would position herself in old family photos and videos, as well as being very conscious of her angles in these recent videos (what the hell is with those walking-away-butt-shots she spliced into them?), is envious and contemptuous, and resents losing control over the daughter she sees as an extension of her otherwise fading youth and beauty. I can, unfortunately, imagine some ways that someone like Diane might control the life of, and live vicariously through, what they perceive to be a younger version of themselves. When she can't control her daughter, I expect her to view her daughter as competition.
Well said…hope the daughter is ok
Yes!
She doesn't want her daughter back, she wants to be "right", whatever that means to her.
THIS
I disagree, Diane does want her daughter back, she loves her, she is suffering the loss but that does not give her clarity of her behavior. Imagine suffering this loss and having NO understanding of what caused it? This is the fallout of a narcissist, the suffering does not enlighten them. I do not know how to “work around” this personality disorder. It makes me wonder if there is a way. It seems impossible to elicit change in this mother.
Spot on
@amill s9261 I don't think they suffer. They just get angry.
@@amills9261 Yeah, I'm with you on this one. She wants a version of her daughter back that never existed in the first place.
She complained about being "ghosted" after getting a detailed explanation from her daughter as to why she will no longer be in touch.
That's not "ghosting". That's "adulting".
I would have been fine if the daughter "ghosted" her--- permissible ghosting (or whatever you want to call it). When it comes to really toxic people, I don't see how giving an explanation for 'no contact' would help. In fact, it could make the situation worse.
That’s a logical progression of events. A logical consequence. She just doesn’t like what that consequence is, and refuses to believe that someone could say no to her.
Her daughter sent a letter and that was an "outburst." This daughter was clearly never allowed to have feelings.
Later, the estranged mother lists all the ways she cannot control the daughter, which makes her angry. It's baffling to me that she doesn't see what's going on.
Exactly ! When she said that I thought about that too. False statement, the daughter explained it pretty well in an email.
I wrote my mom 5 letters.
Still didnt get it.
Had to go "No Contact"
That clip of her buying herself a present on her daughter’s birthday will live on as comic relief for eternity 😂
It says it all in a nutshell!
Seems such a childish and pointless thing to do. Unless somehow it actually makes her feel better…then I think she’s just in love with herself (self absorbed). And her child probably never had a fulfilling bond with her. It’s a one-way street with anavel-gazer like this child-woman
@@chantallennox1201 Just to play Devil's advocate, I now buy myself something on Mothers' Day because my adult son (we have a good relationship) is autistic and never ever remembers stuff like this. My mum used to remind him, but she has now passed away.
My son doesn't usually remember my birthday either, but somehow being forgotten on Mothers' Day feels worse. I went through several years of feeling incredibly hurt by being forgotten on this day, so I now just treat myself to some chocolates or a bottle of wine. It's good to be kind to yourself if others will always forget to.
Edit: typo
2nd Edit: I realise this isn't the same as buying myself a present on my son's birthday (which I don't do) but just thought I'd put a different perspective out there.
If, for example, he was no longer around for any reason (god forbid), I would probably want to do something nice for myself/mark the day because it was an important day for me as well..
@@letsrock1729 Sorry to hear about your mom. You've definitely earned something on Mother's Day. Sounds like you've done a great job with your son as you've got a good relationship. She sounds like something else completely.
@@Bakeroo Appreciate that, thanks. Oh yes, it's a whole other thing with this woman. I was just saying (long-windedly 😊) that I don't think buying herself a present on her absent daughter's birthday is anything too weird/suspect on its own. It's when you put it together with everything else that it becomes problematic.
I love how the "visceral connection you can't understand with your child" didn't prevent her from neglecting her child's needs
& still doesn't prevent her from failing to reflect on what might actually repair that connection but rather appears to just reinforce her sense of entitlement
😅😅😅 damn that comment is straight to the point!!
Her comments section was disturbing, full of parents who believe that this "visceral connection" entitles them to their children's attention and love. Thats the only reason they mention it.
The "connection" is really *ownership,* it's disgusting.
Exactly. It’s called enmeshment as well…and a narcissist will always seek to have a connection with someone whom they once sucked the life energy from. The fact that she’s made an entire channel about her daughter’s choice to go “no contact” and found a way to weaponize the decision of other children who have done the same only further demonstrates the amount of “narcissistic supply” she had been stealing from her daughter, replacing it now with the attention and at times adoration/agreement of other such “victim” parents. Truly sickening how deep the denial goes with individuals like this. The fact that her partner is in cahoots with her ridiculous explanation only emboldens her own lack of insight. She is sadly a lost cause, I’m afraid.
She's loving the backlash. She gets to talk about how much of a victim she is.....again!
I’m just so happy - almost everyone at least saw through her bullshit. And I love that.
I’m also happy she said she didn’t give a shit because clearly she gave a shit. 😂
It's totally enabling her . She's already explained that she needs to pity herself and has been shaming her daughter in order to evoke a negative response so she can feel sorry for herself for getting that negative response . She exhibits no self awareness and, even after people tried to explain, still can't look at herself or do anything but play victim. That she's claiming to be the victim of her child in the first place is an enormous red flag. She's made her daughter responsible for her and doesn't express caring about her daughter at all except that she's lost her scapegoat, poor her.
and get more clicks and views, that's all she cares about
Remember that time you finally wrote a letter to your mother explaining how much pain the relationship is causing you and she turned it into a business opportunity? Her daughter does. 😬
This is exactly why I didn't write an explanatory note to my parents when going no-contact.
THIS
I'm writing one but this time it's for me. They don't get the benefit of seeing it.
The mother is just unbelievable
@@sunnyadams5842I did that and all that did was make my parents stalk me and find where I lived 😀
She claims she cares about her daughter and wants her back in her life, yet interprets any support or empathy for her daughter from strangers as an attack on her. I don't think she is capable of changing, sadly.
YES!!! This is THE most telling thing that “outs” her as having a “difficult”, *pathological* personality!
I see NO desire in the mother to consider anything and everything that SHE could do *differently* in order to STOP being a source of pain for her daughter.
Narcissists never change
@@jeanieolahful They never do, but this lady in particular is in too deep. Her responses to comments that call her out on her poor behavior, or show sympathy/empathy for her daughter are insane. She really thinks she’s helping others by making these videos, but she’s really just showing how unwilling she is to look inward and see that she’s the problem. On top of that her dad was abusive, and the same way her daughter distanced herself from her, she did to her dad, so this is a generational thing, and I hope the daughter is doing her part to break the generational curse.
This is a "you vs me" kind of mentality. She is "at war" with her daughter (in her mind) and she wants to win.
"Win her over". "Win over her".
@@jeanieolahfulAmen sister!!
A person who actually didn't give a s**t wouldn't feel the need to respond.
Queue dramatic violin music and crocodile tears
This is what I always say.
This is why people who are like "look at me. I don't care" obviously care, because why would they feel the need to brag about it if they didn't?
She does give a shit
Methinks thou dost protest…
How did she not give a shit?!! Please explain 😮
Diane’s condescending descriptions on her daughter’s lifestyle is all you need to know. She criticizes Haley yet claims she wants her back. She is so fake.
Oh yeah that part. It really irritated me the way she was so obviously contemptuous about that and still found it somewhere in herself to protest about “judgements.”
Sounds exactly like my mother.
I have thought my entire life “if you hate me so much - why do you want me around? Just leave me be”…
All about control not love
Yeah she seems to hate her daughter
I mean….she straight up named her daughter. She’s an absolute witch.
When the mom went after the commenters and cursed at them, her mask really slipped. I imagined her speaking to her daughter that way and it made sense why her daughter has gone no contact.
Yeah, she acted like we all went looking for her and her pain instead of her blasting it out there for everyone to see.
She acknowledged her video was “HIGHLY curated”. They always tell on themselves.
yeh i spotted that. in combination with heart on the sleeve style, and also ''highly curated''. This is her victim narrative. She clings to it hard. like a shield. No risk of self-examination. no no no
I am one of those nasty childless young people that responded negatively to Diane's video; except that I am in my late 50s and have 2 children of my own. Thank you for tackling her video as thoroughly as you did. I am estranged from my father for over 25 years now, and her video honestly angered me. Later I found your videos that examined her video, and it was VERY helpful for me in processing not only her video but also my choice to remove my father from my life. Thank you!
I cut my parents off 4 years ago, 3 years ago a birdie told me dad had 2 -18 months to live. He's still alive. I was tempted, and it made it harder thinking he was dying, but now I'm pretty sure that was just manipulation. Having been through it, I don't think I care when he dies. I have a feeling you won't either. You have done well for you and your kids. I have 2 young kids and turn 49 tomorrow. Not having my family in my life has been good for our mental health and safety. You did the right thing.
@@Craterface666 Thank you, and I truly believe you made the right decision as well. I bet you are quite correct about the manipulation in your situation. My dad had been dying of a "heart condition" as long as I can remember; although that "heart condition" never stopped him from drinking and drugging like a crazy man, LOL! You are right in keeping your mental health, and the mental health of your family, safe by your decisions.
@Max-od7fb : me too!
Im a 42 year old conservative. I commented on her video because I can recognize narcissistic behavior regardless of my age or politics. This women does not HEAR her daughter. She probably never will. Its sad. What an ignorant comment to assume that all of us are young, entitled children if we dont agree with her. She has no self awareness at all.
I was also a negative responder 😂😂 I think she blocked me 🤓. I completely connect with your comment in every way ❤
It is so traumatic but reconciliation requires “too much contrition. “ Well doesn’t that say it all.
That is a deeply troubling proclamation. Shameless.
Yeah, talk about a dead freaking giveaway!!
If she really wanted her daughter back, no amount of reconciliation would ever be “too much”--this is a clear ploy to keep her role as the victim. Which she clearly is not.
I noticed that too. Obviously, if you genuinely wanted her back, you would do everything in your power to add value to the relationship so that the daughter can safely do so, but adding value is too much work...
"I'd do anything to get my kid back...except take genuine accountability for my actions, apologize, and work on myself so I can be a better mother. That's a bridge too far!"
A narcissistic mother can literally destroy the child's life.
Yes, but you can undo much of that damage.
I think the "mother" is a malignant narcissist. The mother lacks empathy for her daughter and will tear her daughter apart because as a mom she lacks the courage to admit her flaws.
She must be the victim to cover up the actions and words she has used to wound and demean her daughter. Trust me she is a narcissist.
I for one don't give a sheet about her drama filled video. She should leave her daughter alone and quit trying to frame herself as a wounded martyr.
Lady, leave your daughter alone.
I'm 68 years old. I went no contact with my mother for 20 years before she died about five years ago. I've had decades of recovery therapy and still, every day is a struggle because of her abuse. I repressed so many childhood memories. Now that I'm retired and have lot of time to reflect back on my early years, the realization of the depth of her abuse becomes more profound. Yes, a narcissist mother can destroy a child's life.
Yup. I'm having more tormenting difficulties healing from the narcissism than outright assault - which is why I call it demonic, evil... It's bit by bit... It'll take YEARS/DECADES... chipping away at a soul until there's nothing left... I'm still in shock and pray I can find peace....
My dad, instead. He's pathetic. He's the thorn in my life. I am no-contact with him!
that woman creeps me out down to my toes. her daughter has suffered years of this twisted nonsense.
She launched a smear campaign against her daughter and it backfired in a spectacular way.
She’s given her daughter a lot of support and followers I can imagine
It always follows the same frustrating script. Just a barrage of self pity and excuses. Not once does she think of how her daughter might be suffering or need help. It’s about as anti-mothering as it can get.
Edit - It’s a reassuring thing when you’re no contact, to know that sometimes accountability and repair can never happen. This woman seems like a prime example.
Well said, Dame.
I recall my forty-year-old brother whining about a nosebleed he had had (at age eight) in front of my father who was hospitalized with advanced Parkinson's, partial blindness, and terminal cancer.
That last part is excruciatingly correct :(
@@bristolcorvid8894just say you disagree.
I've made peace with the fact that mine will never look inward and take me seriously. I imagine after she passes, she'll be able to understand in the afterlife.
I agree. It’s reassuring because we realize it’s not us even though for years (decades sometimes) we blame ourselves 😢.
I find it so difficult to look at her. I suspect that it's because of her smug, supercilious smirk.
I'm shocked that she condescends to address her daughter at all.
We are unworthy.
Ps. She gives several shts, lol.
The way she said, “…you GOT that!!!????” after saying she didn’t give a schnitzel. If I found out my kids experienced me in a harmful way, I’d hope I’d introflect (is that a word?) and move forward in some kind of healing way, depending upon what the harm was & where “we’re at” currently.
People who smile while they talk, are the worst.
I also find it difficult to watch her. Her body language and delivery style are, as you say, smug and self-righteous. I would love to know if she has many friends; I could imagine all kinds of people being put off by her.
@@lbh4113 Beautifully said 👏
It’s the same reason I can’t watch my ex. When they talk, their self obsession is overwhelming. They love how they talk, how they look when they talk, and they act like a celebrity. (Especially when they know people are watching.). They get livid when they don’t get the response they want, and STILL don’t get it. Most never do.
(I absolutely agree. She gives a lot of 💩 s.)
My mom has Alzheimers now. I realized she had really declined when she hugged me and said I love you and didn't criticize me for a whole conversation. It was such a relief to have her personality taken by the disease.
Her old self was exactly like this woman. Smirking, superior and always right. She was mean and nasty to me my entire life. Her Alzheimers is the only reason I'm free from her. She would never let me have any space from her in life.
That happened to me. I went no contact at thirty. At 60 she developed dementia. I went to see her. Her fangs had disappeared. The fight was gone. She did seem like a stranger but I did get a glimpse of what she could have been like. Not once in my life could she say a kind word or let an opportunity to criticize pass. Dementia took that away. It was weird but kind of bittersweet. She was a lot like this mother. Always had that big crocodile grin. Always had to be perfect, admired by all. In control. But the smallest criticism unleashed a fury.
That's really tragic, for both of you!
I feel sad and happy for you at the same time. Sending you hugs.
Thank you all. I really try to enjoy the relationship that have now, although it must be limited for my own sanity. She told me once during her 40s that she had gone to therapy and was diagnosed bpd. She refused help and was the worst she could be to me after that. Her current version is the version I imagine she'd be if she'd gotten help. It's why whenever I hear of someone with bpd I encourage them to seek help. If she had done therapy 40 years ago she could have been more like this with better relationships and she'd be aware enough to enjoy it.
Im so glad to hear your experience because I'm currently having the same with my mother. My mum was the most cruel, critical, neglectful , abuse woman to her kids. She also played each adult child against the other. Dementia set in and very very quickly affected a part of her that changed her so drastically. She can on some days be so funny, loving and even caring. She was none of those before. I enjoy it kind of yet I know this is no longer my mother but more like the mum I wished ld had. But still lm on alert around her waiting for her to any minute be abusive again. Its very weird. Why couldn't she have been like this all her life. But at the same time she's often not really in her mind anymore too. She's off with the fairies. But I sometimes can get a cuddle with her now. Which I couldn't before. She's so different. She's in aged care now andi for the first time in my life as a 64year lady feel I'm free from having to explain my life and answer to her too. I'm free at last. She's been so contrll9ng and manipulative and abusive. So it's so good to feel free at last. Yet I feel sad at the same time.
I'm now permantly no-contact with my narcissist mother, after decades of subtle abuse.
This woman's videos about how her daughter has gone no-contact with her, just made my skin crawl. She is enjoying a big social media profile, and making money out of her "victimhood".
Of course there's zero accountability, self-reflection, or any sort of apology for her bad words and behaviour.
Beware the covert narcissist parent, they are even trickier to detect than the overt (obvious) narcissist parent.
I'm not of "the younger generation", at 67 years old.
Thank you for this video, you nailed it with your analysis of this woman's cringeworthy displays of narcissism.
Ironically, the more she talks, she gives more examples of how a narcissist behaves
They ALWAYS do that. I'm convinced it's impossible for them not to project. Whatever they accuse someone of, it's almost certain they do it themselves.
You know! 💯
At first, I felt empathy for her partial "misunderstanding" of estrangement. Then as she kept doing videos, I was so disgusted and triggered, I had to block her channel.
She’s not a mom. She’s an emotional predator.
Love the terme, is it from you? :)
Agreed!
@@Lili-ib2rh yes ☺️
I used to call them "social vampires," but I like your term a lot better!
Yes, it’s very fitting. 👍🏽
Oh man. Her response started off so hopeful.. I was genuinely shocked when she let the mask drop off completely. She is *terrifying* .. I can actually envision her smiling sweetly and even looking sympathetic in someone's face just before stabbing them in the back "for their own good".
I believe when she said _arm chairs psychologists_ at 1:50 of her video, I had heard enough.
Good wording.
That's EXACTLY what I thought! That sinister smile of "...very bad news".. it's how to stay remote emotionally...
Delores Umbridge vibes
My mom does exactly that. It took me a LONG time to realize what was actually going on, which is super sad. My mother literally smiles with delight, sometimes including a sadistic laugh even, depending on the exact situation. But bc I was so snowed by her that it hadn't occurred to me (until I was 40) that how she treated me was 100% a b u s I v e. She literally gets off on it. The problem is, she's 'successful', intelligent & by all appearances a 'good person'...donating to the angel tree @ their church every year, having baby gifts on the ready whenever needed, etc., etc. Obviously the problem MUST be me, just like she says it is, right!? I've been labeled as the 'problem child' since I was cognizant. The truth is, I just wouldn't conform to a set of shaky rules to support a false narrative, nor would I pretend whatever it is she needed from me to make her look better was ok. I'm not fake, never have been. I'm authentic & live my life with integrity. That's one thing that hasn't at all changed. I wouldn't play the game for her. I told the TRUTH. I always stood up for injustice, no matter for whom. She HATES that...bc she hides, pretends & most importantly bc she'll NEVER be that, and she knows it.
I'm sad for the little girl me. I wish I could hug her & let her know she's safe & loved.
It’s crazy how she’s smiling the whole time, even as she says, “This is arguably one of the most traumatic, horrifying things….”
I had to turn away from the video otherwise that smiling just got in the way of hearing what she said.
It's creepy
I have seen that fixed, permanent, fake smile in some narcissistic women in real life and in a psychopath interview on TH-cam.
All of these narcs have the same crazy eyes and creepy smiles.
When she says, “I don’t give a 💩, got that?” the mask slips. Look at her eyes in those few seconds. I think of her daughter as a little kid trying to deal with that.
I'm 44 and don't have kids...but I did have a narc for a mother and I recognise this woman for what she is. I really feel for her poor daughter.
This woman would bring the rage out of anybody. My mom is covert narcissist. It makes my blood boil watching her videos.
They kept appearing in my feed. I had to block her channel. 😤
dealing with a narc is impossible. They live in their own reality, and any criticism is treated as a personal attack. They always sound a little delusional.
Signs for a narc (from various narcs) I've experienced over the years:
-"You're being very disrespectful"
-"It's my birthday month/week! Oh yeah! Time to celebrate!"
-"I named my pet/kid after myself, isn't that great?! :)"
-"I think I have a rash, can you look at it? .....Huh? Why do you look grossed out?"
-hey buddy, pal, can you do me a favor and ask your friend to go on a date with me? ......What?! Of course we are friends, buddy. What...? Why are you saying we barely talk and you "don't know me like that".
We talk to you ALL the time! We are best friends! :)"
-"omg, guess what babe! Guess what! I just bought a new couch! Yay~! Isn't that great?! :)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
.......
What...how did I buy it? Well, I used your card baby....what do you mean we can't afford it and I have to take it back.....I bought it for US!"
💯
Literally like the delusion!! never know if my mom is a schizophrenic or just a ragging narcissist
She’s insufferable. No wonder her daughter cut her off.
She's been found out and doesn't like it.
narcissists tend to not like having their bs pointed out - not diagnosing obviously 🤪
The attention however is very welcome
@@thewostr positive or negative, narcissistic supply is narcissistic supply - hence why grey rock's so valuable 😉
She is one of the most bizarre and… creepy? people I’ve come across. Like something inside me wants to scramble away from her intense stare and fake smile and self-absorption. She’s like a movie villain.
Yes! You’re not the first one to say that! It’s the smirk and flashes of anger and the dripping condescension especially in her reaction IDGAS video!!!
It's probably the first time u have come across a narcissist. They truly are a different breed
Acting ain't never that good, Diana is the real deal.
I briefly had a "friend" just like this woman, fake smile and dripping condescension. I bet she rages at her husband on a regular basis.
Yeah, she makes me extremely uncomfortable.
I genuinely can't look when her clips are playing...I just listen while reading comments to distract myself from how much my brain clearly doesn't want to be around her, even in this capacity.
(And she can't blame my visceral discomfort on her reminding me of someone else in my life, or trauma caused by my own mom, because my mom doesn't act like that, thankfully. No one in my life has exactly what Diane has. It's something in Cluster B if I had to guess, but I'm not invested in a particular diagnosis.)
This lady is INSANE. I am glad her daughter was able to get away from her. Signed by a mother of 2, age 49.
From what I see in her videos is, she is not seeking solutions for the estrangement or to exchange thoughts for growth and change. She is seeking fuel and an echo chamber.
YES
Narcissitic supply
@@luana2778 💯
exactly.
She would rather be “right”. Her shallow sense of self can’t be wrong in any way!
I am a parent of two adults. I understand what she's talking about with the bond. That bond would compel me to defend them against even the gates of hell. This lady doesn't defend her daughter, she's throwing shade and making an obvious attempt at triangulating her audience against her child. She's the one who doesn't understand the bond.
Well, she was right about one thing. She did have a "bond"----a demonic bond.
Truth! My NM pretends I could not bond as a baby to her. I’d be dead!
Absolutely.
@@erikavaleriesthat's interesting because mine has the biggest resentment at me as a baby too. 😣
Exactly! She’s the one breaking the bond, the trust!
She said we are all amateur psychologists. so when someone who I consider one of the best Live Abuse Free tells her the same truth we all have. Diane blocks , deletes , threatens. Her new goal is too get more internet attention then her daughter, She can't have her daughter back, so now is competing with her, because that is who she is ; an attention seeker.
And a bully. She needs to be the boss of her daughter 🤦🏻♀️
And trying to make money off the situation!
Some of us ARE licensed therapists. We see through her, too 🙄
Reminds me of a certain actress interview after she lost her defamation trial: "Some randos", she had said.
@@psmithbellI've studied manipulation and body language, because I was too gaslighted as a kid to trust my guts.
So, I learned their behavior to see people like my Mom coming. I might not be licensed, but i could totally detect people like her feom Miles away.
She won’t read a book to potentially help her reconnect and repair their relationship b/c it requires “too much contrition”. F- that! If your child is hurting enough to break contact, you do anything in your power to help your child heal.
Story time: my daughter and I had a strained relationship during her teens. When she came back at me angry about the things I had done that she interpreted as hurtful, I responded by saying: I’m sorry. Let me know what I can do to help you heal.
Later we were able to discuss things and sometimes when seen from a different perspective, she was able to forgive me.
It’s not about our intentions as parents, it’s about their emotions resulting from our actions.
Listening to her say that no contact is one of the most horrifying and traumatic things a parent can endure, reeks of selfishness. Trauma is not a competition. Parents would often say their kid getting cancer or getting abused is one of the most horrifying experiences. Not being able to grasp why your daughter won’t speak to you, while you repeatedly try to gaslight and name drop her on the internet is not trauma for you, but for her.
I went no contact with my mom at 40, and with the rest of my family at at age 50, for the gaslighting and extreme disrespect of my boundaries. I’m a Gen x who never had kids because the abuse was so toxic and I gave much careful thought to bringing a child into the world.
OMG the “b roll” of her taking care of her house…she’s all about appearances
And then wonders why her daughter shows evidence of the same
Her eyes have that constant “devils delight”, self-satisfied twinkle. And that smirk….
What an actress 😊 someone nominate her for a TH-cam Oscar plz
Yes! The grandiosity showing
Yes. She felt A LOT of pleasure receiving that much attention! A lot! When she talked about it, she was blinking.
Oh, yes! Her twinkling eyes almost triggered me.
Yes and her eyes are dead and empty behind the surface. God help her soul.
Replay club here, IMO the veil slips here and you can see her true self. Imagine being a child and being spoken to in this condescending, patronizing and downright snobbish way.
And threatening, like when she leans towards the camera with those staring eyes and bared teeth "got that?" I bet she did this to her daughter from when she was a small child.
Many of us don’t have to imagine, unfortunately.
The way she had to shame even the cosplay hobby 🙄🙄 Like there was the option to just not air her opinions about that, but she went out of her way to draw ridicule to her own daughter in order to paint her in a negative light in general, to make her own pov seem more legitimate, more adult, more reasonable than that of her daughter
That’s exactly what I thought too.
Don't have to imagine it. Just have to remember it
Taking a private highly sensitive problem with your daughter public by posting a video on youtube? In an attempt to shame her back into relationship with you?? Leveraging the power of the internet against your own struggling daughter??
Wow.
The reaction turning out to be an AVALANCHE of karma? Priceless.
Yes, please continue this series about this mother. My mother is a century old and has never changed. It’s almost therapeutic to see someone behaving even worse. Sad but true.
She does herself no favor's by using these video's primarily to continue to smear and shame her daughter and secondly showcase her lifestyle with the subliminal backdrop of her nice home and location. Nasty.
Notice how she very subtly showcases her sexuality as well in some of her edits. I can just about guarantee that she acted flirtatious with her daughters boyfriends and male associates, just enough to make them feel uncomfortable without really knowing why. And probably went out of her way to embarrass her daughter to them with stories from her childhood.
Since being in a late in life relationship with a narcissist I have been studying them like insects under a microscope.
She has always been considered physically beautiful regardless of her age; she has always had access to exceptional monetary resources. Narcissism develops early and deep in people with those 'gifts.' She has a fan base; she's obviously quite intelligent.
@@danepatterson8107My experience with Narcissist is similar. They are VERY intelligent. They manipulate people often with out even realizing it. Its just who they are. Leaving one of them can be like leaving a cult. For me I had to disentangle what was truth versus their version of reality. These people are extremely charming and convincing. Im actually proud of this womens daughter for recognizing what TRUTH os and for separating herself from what was, unfortunately, a toxic relationship.
@@Elysian777 I did not notice this, if you can would you mind showing an example? I also study narcissists and I am surprised I missed this in her
@@Elysian777Great comment!
I made a comment on her video about considering accountability for the estrangement and was attacked...these estranged parents cannot handle the notion that their actions created a reaction in their children.
@danswhite8544hence the separation between mom and child. It’s sad the mom is close minded. I feel for the daughter. 🙏
My husband sent your video to my mom, after my mom, whom I’ve done all the things as Hailey, claims to not know why I don’t want a relationship with her. My mom’s message said “we figured out what’s wrong with Bz; when she was searching for missing ppl, she must have gotten in with a group that brain washed her.” It was absurd; implying there MUST be a reason for my behavior. My mom will never look at herself and ask the hard questions. Denial is a very long river.
I also left a well mannered and compassionate response letting her know that forgiveness can happen but it may never if she keeps publicly shaming her daughter. I never looked back to she if she responded because I knew she would just be a pompous ass. Guess my instinct was correct. Oh well, you tried to help her !!
Their kids are their employees, and the job is endless validation forever… never good enough, either.
I bet the ppl who watch her are atrocious.
I have a feeling that she smiles throughout an argument, especially when she delivers what she considers the coup de grace remarks. yuk
Oh yes, I can absolutely picture her self-satisfied smile as she says the most hurtful & damaging things!
It's almost as if she expects applause for every subpar thought she forces through her clenched smile
They stay so calm in arguments. The more upset the targets get, the calmer and happier they get.
I imagine that she even CLOSES her eyes as she smirks and delivers an arsenal of put downs!! 😩
@@louhortonsculpture Once I started gray rocking my mother, she went absolutely unhinged. How dare I starve her of supply in her presence? They are 100% after the drama. You can tell it unnerved her, too, the way she talked about Haley's phone call when the husband had Covid. "She was strange and robotic." She was pouting when she said it. I guarantee both of them wanted drama and big emotions and were furious they didn't get it. She gray rocked them like a champ.
I had a narcissist mother. I left a comment in that ladies video. I left home immediately after high school graduation. Moved away to Atlanta. I never looked back. It was the right choice. It was so hard and still is. I have no family. Both parents are dead now. My husband’s parents are dead as well. He too cut contact with his parents when we married. It’s just us and our two kids. Both of them in college now. I haven’t had a normal or easy life. But it was as good as it could be all things considered. I was lucky to have kids. I focused all my efforts into them. I’m lucky they have chosen to live at home while going to college. Kids don’t “ghost” their parents without reasons. Period. If my husband or I had not gone no contact with our parents we would have never made it. We have been married 30 years. We both stand by our decisions and kids. They are our everything.
She’s so narcissistic it’s chilling! She no longer has a grip on her daughter so she is LITERALLY TRYING TO PIT THE WHOLE INTERNET AGAINST HER!!! Her daughter is now free physically! I hope to god she is mentally free as well or she’s taking steps to heal.
You have a real talent to dissect people's behavior, it's honestly so helpful to me, I can spot a toxic person from a distance now, also identify toxic behaviours on myself and avoid them, thank you ❤❤❤
That's so good to know! Thank you for sharing that. 🥰
@@LiveAbuseFree and it's reaching far! I'm from Brazil ☺️❤️
@@LiveAbuseFree 100%. I started watching your channel during the JD/AH trial, during which I had a massive falling out with my (now former) best friend of 20 years. Your insights really helped to pull me through it and continue to help me to recognize negative behaviours in others and myself. You have really helped to ground me! Thank you!
I like that you mention seeing the toxic behavior in yourself, being able to see that is HUGE. ❤
Right?! Between her, a couple other people on TH-cam (Dr Honda and Dr Berry) and my therapist, I’m SO much healthier. It’s been really nice to finally be healing. Feels so good.
Cindy Watts vibes. Soft voice, measured breaths between words to sound so thoughtful. Absolute witch behind that fake smile. I feel for her daughter.
Cindy Watts even requested - and received I’m pretty sure, some financial portion of the insurance death payouts for Shanan and the two little girls
Plus she blames Shanan - she thinks her son was the victim
@@tennysonparks2059 do better research, shd blamed Sha'nan for that monsters behavior.
Their are videos of her smirking and a nasty look on her face, like someone farted, when she talks about Sha'nan, the mother of her grandkids.
@@tennysonparks2059 are you fucking kidding me? That monster is in jail for a good reason, you are blaming the victim but if you don't like Shannon at least be empathetic with the kids that can't defend themselves from that awful monster
This is exactly who she reminded me of.
You bring up things like that and you make me wonder how many people here are actually the narcissistic ones.
Look at who you are indirectly defending.
ShanANN was an extremely obvious narcissist herself..who used her children as props and treating others like peasants.
Her Fb posts and texts in the discovery info were nauseating..and how she treated people around her and expected to be treated like royalty.
Though I don’t think the public should have had access to her private texts, especially since she was the victim and that sets a dangerous precedent that victims of crimes have no privacy…but, they did reveal her nature further and it was consistent with grandiose narcissism.
I don’t even mean it clinically, she was just very much an egotistical exhibitionist.
Terrible example of someone to defend at their MIL’s expense.
Bad example.
She's so dang condescending!
Her response gave me chills. I'm glad her daughter did the right thing and saved herself, because her mother seems beyond saving at this point.
She is proof that narcissists can’t manipulate you unless you allow it...her daughter is so smart to send her off
That is a really uncharitable thing to say about people who've been thoroughly psychologically destroyed by someone like this.
And she's moved onto the worldwide web for sympathy supply... Anything other than suppley- she DGAS...
@@thedacardea416 being one such person, I'd say "enlightened" and "emotionally prepared" might be more accurate terms because it can take decades to fully appreciate what's happening then act. Smart doesn't come into it.
I think she would fight to the death to defend her her position because if the light came on the tremendous guilt she’d experience would be devastating!
I think she’d actually be disappointed if her daughter came back in to her life. This dynamic gives her so much supply..it’s almost who she is.
agree about everything but the guilt. i get why people might want to humanise those who have such harmful mindsets but imo doing so is enabling to the point of potentially being dangerous
when people presume others have the capacity of experiencing guilt, they implicitly expect there are limits which wouldn't be crossed & could therefore end up not learning that isn't true until it's too late
it's important to remember there are plenty of people who unalived others much to the surprise of everyone who knew them - parents, significant others, children, complete strangers & others!
guilt is absolutely *not* something *all* feel & even if it doesn't go to the extreme of unaliving someone, there's *plenty* of harm that can be inflicted upon others in its absence
@@r_and_aNarcissists absolutely feel guilt and shame. You’re talking about sociopaths. Different species.
Yeah, she's absolutely loving all this attention and the views of her public domain "this is nothing to do with you, stop watching " channel 😊
@@Lunchladydoyle note i did *not* lump *any* group of individuals together, only cautioned as a *general* principle & there are *plenty* of people with antisocial personality disorder (aspd is what *you* are talking about as *neither* "sociopath" *nor* "psychopath" are actual diagnoses - though those who are referred to as sociopaths - ie formed more from "nurture" than "nature" - are *far* more likely to feel guilt & shame than psychopaths) who have comorbid narcissistic personality disorder & do *not* feel shame
please do *not* presume what i do & do not understand or that you know more than i do, especially when you're not even responding to what i *actually* wrote as *nothing* you said addresses let alone conflicts with what i wrote. whilst *i* did *not* originally bring up any specific diagnoses or *who* might have what, do you *really* think you can definitively say the mother does *not* have aspd? why do you think so many are shocked when certain people unalive others? aspd can be well hidden, hence the point of my comment
there are *definitely* extreme differences but they are *not* a "different species" & that is one of the reasons they're so dangerous so reinforcing the false notion that one could immediately spot them is quite harmful, unappreciated, unnecessary & frankly arrogant imo
@@Lunchladydoyle
Narcissists reflect their shame and guilt on others and psychopaths are also narcissists.
I am so glad you're making these videos!
"As long as you blame yourself for being abused, you can't heal." - that made me cry. :)
My mother is exactly like her. She says the same things about our bond and how much she loves me to everyone who'll listen. She also tried to choke me to death as a child.
My mother and father are completely different people behind closed doors.
I'm sorry that happened to you 😢.
My parents are also only abusive behind closed doors. From the outside everything looks perfect.
❤
@@caroleminke6116 yes we called my father the street saint and the home sinner
Just like my father
I can’t see this mother chocking her daughter unless it’s something hidden?!
I think you nailed it when you said that the editing creeped people out - so melodramatic. ew
This woman's crying is as fake as her love for her daughter. When someone cries you can feel the sincerity because it almost makes you cry as well. With this horrid mother - her crying is an 'act'. I felt nothing but disgust with her manipulation.
I really appreciate that you did another video on this one, Zoe. This woman makes me cringe too, not just because of the gaslighting, victim blaming and badmouthing but because she’s just a straight up bad actress. Every fake smile has a slight snarl to it. Every proclamation of innocence looks rehearsed. I can see the rage underneath it all. It’s such a shame that she can’t admit to being flawed and work on expressing some of that rage in a healthy way with the help of a therapist. Instead she channels it into destroying her daughter. I walked away from my abusive mom and I’m proud of myself for saying no more. This woman has no idea the pain she’s causing her daughter by laughing at her daughter’s sorrow in these ridiculous videos. I only hope her daughter is unaware, but if she has seen her mom’s videos I hope she can laugh at them for the mockumentaries that they are: a narcissistic woman who thinks she’s passing as nice.
I hurt my daughter very badly but I did not recognise this, she tried to tell me and I did not listen properly but only saw things from my perspective. After watching your last video where you commented on Diane's behaviour, I began to see that I was completely in the wrong. It took me a while to get myslef together and find the right words to tell her that I WAS IN THE WRONG. THAT WHAT I HAD SAID ( however well meaning ) was WRONG. I told her that I owned everything that I had done or said and the fact that I thought it was well meaning was irrellevant because it had hurt her. I truly am sorry and did not say these things to make myself feel better but to make amends with her. I like to think it has helped her and that she feels a bit better about the things I apologised for.
Sounds like a great beginning. I'd definitely follow up wkth some sort of therapy on your side though to dig deeper, also for own good.
Proud of you for that !! That took guts. Way to go !!
That's a very good start❤
Kudos to you for actually taking the time to rethink your stance towards your daughter, and how she might have experienced your words to her.
I promise you that your thinking about this and actually talking to her about it, is a wonderful step in the direcrion of forgiveness and reconciliation.
I only wish my own mother had done the same. I also hope that I do not fall into the same trap with my own daughter. It genuinely scares me that I sometimes say hurtful things to my daughter that I never, ever came close to saying to my sons. I do make sure to apologize and reassure her when these things do blurt out - and I hope to get to the point where I actively stop this sort of unkind communication entirely.
I wish you reconciliation and reparation with your daughter.
She has no idea how awful she is.
Oh, she knows
And she never will.
@@NickM_FirstofHisNameShe just absolutely does not care.
Wow, this woman is so contemptuous, so egotistical. I'd bet a week's pay that some of her own friends have stepped away from her after this because who she really is has popped out. Poor daughter.
She has lost friends and family over this. She shockingly admitted that in her video.
I advise the daughter to change her first name if she hasn't already done so. I did this and it helped me to free myself.
She said in her main video that some people had walked away from her life but her attitude toward that was 'so what, they didn't deserve me anyway'. Zero introspection.
@@Elysian777 I don't have the stomach to view any of her own videos so thanks for that. It would be an absolute certainty that some friends walk away after seeing who she really is.
@@sallywillis1448yes in my 40th year i changed my name to all new people in my life, my best friend supported me and has never mentioned my birth name since, my husband of 26 years calls me darling, i do not expect people I've known pre40 to remember but most naturally already spoke to me in nicknames . Offically goverment/ medical/ drivers licence is my legal name..now a decade on i feel i have become my chosen name, diligently chopping away narc tenctiles of behaviour my mother blueprinted on me , i agree changing my name has helped define myself, my beliefs, my boundries , cleared the toxic mud so clearly i found the Lord!! Bless you my fellow soul retriever.
She seems to not understand how having a mother like her can ruin one's entire life. Children are helpless, vulnerable and impressionable and they rely on their parents for everything. Having proper parents is crucial for a child's development.
that woman is vicious...I see right through her
Thank you for the analysis. Excellent as always. Her mask was removed and she is seething now. I trust her daughter has peace.
Yes, her contemptuous, belittling dismissal of commenters was the Big Tell. Her spirit animal is Anger/Contempt and it's on loudspeaker now.
@@gtaylor6937and naturally, by her first video that was analyzed, she likes all that drive-thru quickie “spirituality” that emphasizes forgiveness and “letting go” of anger. Imagining how she must weaponize all of that fluffy-bunny language just leaves me cold.
I had my mum say sorry to me, in tears, admitting she had been a monster. It really didn't make anything better, there was no satisfaction, no healing. I guess because it didn't change the abuse that had happened.
That really sucks, but I can relate. Sometimes an apology like that feels like it's more about the other person's shame and regret, and not so much about what you needed, or what you need from her now. And it can feel like it's in the same vein as the original abuse, because both times, it was also about them. Maybe it's one positive step for them on the road to become a better person, but for us, it might just be another intense and upsetting experience. Anyway, I hope you get to have actual healing one of these days, in whatever form that takes.
My mom did the same. We have a good relationship now. But we had a toxic one for years, then none at all for years after that. The dammage is done and its on me to deal with. But I love her today and who she is now, in my mind, is not the person she was then. It didnt heal me but I think it would be worse and more frustrating....if she was like the women in this video: not sorry for anything or anyone but herself.
My mum used to creep into my bedroom to say sorry after she beat me up. She'd end up crying and beg for forgiveness while telling me it was my fault for making her angry with me. Even as a small child, I thought, if you're so sorry why do you keep doing it?
My mom has not apologized and never will, and I don’t think that it would change anything if she did. So, the healing doesn’t come waiting for an apology, it comes when you realize that now you have to raise yourself, and that you can do much better than your mother ever did. Sorry wouldn’t cut it, there would have to be a fundamental change in personality…which is near impossible. A true apology would be in the actions of the parent.
When I was doing good it was my moms doing. When I was doing poorly it was my own fault. She took my accomplishments in childhood away from me in that way. As an adult, my internal confidence is completely broken, but IVE put in the work to be better and to do better, and that’s more empowering than any “sorry” we could ever receive.
My mom did that too and then I just got more annoyed because she said she thinks she's bipolar when she doesn't even really know what bipolar is and she probably has a personality disorder and she let me be the scapegoat so I got a psychology degree and she said she doesn't believe in psychology
30:33 Yes, this lady is re-traumatizing me, and gaslighting us. We see her for who she is because we have a parent like HER! So we recognize an emotional abuser, victim and covert narcissist who lives in denial and total oblivion. She's very triggering.
Yes, 100% 😔.
The way she flips from crying and sad music to extreme hostility towards her daughter and the world speaks volumes.
This mother comes across as a bitter old crow who cares only about herself.
Well I am way over 35 and i would leave this lady in the dust if she was my mom and the dad too. I'm so proud of Haley.
When my narcissistic mother left my father, she cut off all contact with me, even though I was literally begging her to let me back into her world. By the time she decided I was useful to have in her life again, I had realized how much better my life was without her and had started to move past the heartbreak. She tells everyone that I abandoned her and I'm a horrible, selfish person, but I'm okay with that because rejecting me and making me her villian was the best thing my mother ever did for me.
You're so right about feeling you cant ever reach someone like this. There's such a hopelessness about it... The reality distortion field is just too strong.
the look in her eyes and that smirk she gives is just like my mothers...
Isn't part of being a true narcissist the inability to be truly introspective? She fits the bill.
Think she's creating an echo chamber for other narcissistic parents whose kids have gone no contact. Those online spaces can be really dangerous.
Thank you for making your videos. Its very lonely for children with narcissistic parents and how to navigate life and recognise covert passive narcissism. I have learned a lot. Nobody really teaches you how to deal with narcissistic people and going through the pain and anxiety that comes with it
She charges members 200 dollars a year. She’s predatory
@@tennysonparks2059They get into groups and talk about stalking their children and they give each other ideas on how to harass their kids to get them to “stop being so selfish/cruel”
And they're so delusional they willingly pay a con woman to speak with other awful parents.
@@tennysonparks2059 they give each other tips on revenge. They give tips in groups on how to do things like get their grandchildren taken away from their EACs. Then with all the group think, I noticed they talk some newly estranged parents who are on the fence and tell them it's not their fault at all, the EAC is abusive, etc. You'd have to see how dangerous it gets. Super toxic cesspool!
I'm sorry but having legions of people tell you that you have the traits of a narcissist and that that is what is preventing you from being able to have a relationship with your own child, and responding to that by just brushing it off and basically saying, 'nuh-uh, you're the one with the problem' is the most narcissistic thing ever. I cannot imagine any universe in which I would get that much of that kind of feedback and not schedule an appointment with a professional to have myself evaluated immediately. And then when I got to that appointment I would actually answer all the questions honestly because I really value my relationship with my children, call me crazy.
I believe this woman values her martyrdom far more than her child or her relationship with her child. Milking the drama she creates is all that really matters to her. She found a new supply and she's draining the whole internet.
WELL put!!! Every word!
The pillow punch was a perfect illustration of her true feelings.
10:11 - also the smoke coming from the oven when she opened it just prior- just my odd way of seeing things, but perfect visual puncuation marks imo.
Yes - very good observations.
Those pillows are just for appearances, can't plump them or make them comfy to sit on.. must karate chop them so the corners are perfect! lol
🤣😂🤣
She never thought the daughter would stand up for herself
It never occurred to her that her daughter is a separate person to herself. Her daughter only exists in relation to her.
Wow, the whole "if you're with my daughter, then you're against me" mentality shows the capacity of love she had for her daughter. Maybe she only saw her as competition? That's sad.
That's how these momsters are! They not only see daughters as competition, but enemies. Trust, I know from experience and also listening to a lot of similar stories.
@@StephieGsrEvolutionmomters??😂😂
I’d accept a version of “I was doing the best I knew to do and it’s hard to hear that my best was still not right for my daughter.” But I don’t think this woman is capable of even that level of acceptance of responsibility…
@@lr9559pointed out beautifully. Thank you
People who really truly don't give a shit, don't need/want to announce that fact. They don't care enough to do so. She definitely cares.
She cares because she's pushed her own kid away being the awful human/mother she is.
I doubt she's ever felt a connection with her child.
So anyone who can see through her is an “unlicensed therapist”?
💙🙏🏻💙
Wouldn't you agree that they are _a bunch of randos_ ?
This woman is triangulating, using the audience as her ally, as all narcissists do. A black hole of gaslighting.
I am healing my avoidant attachment style and being indifferent to my narcissist mother. God bless and protect all who suffer CPTSD.💕💕💕
it is so validating to know that so many people have a similar gut reaction to this woman's video. She makes me want to scream cry without being able to say exactly why. And the number of people she has cheering her on and now even paying to listen to her is just unreal to me.
I'm just trying to imagine what it must have been like for her daughter, when every time someone was nice to her or empathised with her or validated her, her mother took it as a personal affront and insult, and worse... cruelty.
Oh, wait... I don't have to imagine.
I'm glad she got out and away, and I hope the grief is healing. I'm so sorry you didn't get the mother you deserved.
Narcissism = whenever a person gets a negative reaction and they automatically see it as that person's problem/mistake as they themselves could never be wrong.
Her videos, while painful and triggering for me, ended up being very cathartic because they showed me my mother’s current thoughts & behavior in ‘living color’ without me needing to engage with her. Watching them, and yours, has reinforced my decision to cut off contact. I’m 53, btw, very close to her age. It disgusted me the way she assumed it was all one age group who was ‘mad’ at her. I have my own grown children who have not cut contact with me (including a daughter the same age as hers) because we respect each other and I learned how NOT to be a mom from my mom.
1,000%! got so frustrated when people would compliment my parenting by presuming my parents taught me well 🙄 would literally reply, "yup, taught me what *not* to do!"
it was hard to cut off my mom partly as feared my kid might think that was "normal" & do the same to me but thankfully, like you, i was able to learn from my parents instead of repeating their patterns
congratulations & thanks for sharing 💚
💗💗💗
raising my 3 daughters I always did the opposite of what I thought my mom would do, it did help me make better decisions with my girls.
🙌
Most naricissists will play both the victim and the victimizer. It is all a part of the manipulation. I was raised my a naricissistic mother and became estranged from her at 43, putting in some much needed boundaries for her to follow if she wanted to reconnect within those boundaries. She passed in 2020 just before my 50th birthday without ever even trying to restore any relationship with me or her grandchildren, and made it her wishes that I was not to be told of her death. She sabotaged all family relationships and spread vicious rumours about me in order to damage family connections... so sad, but I am so happy I didn't give in to her manipulations, guilting and shaming of me to relatives. I am glad she is now at peace as I am also at peace, enjoying the beautiful connection I have with my own two children. The toxic pattern and family cycle finally broken for future generations!
I could not be in the same room with that woman for 10 seconds
This was so relatable becase sadly, there's too many of these people having kids and traumatising them. And one of the reasons they never evolve is because there's so many of them, they agree with each other that they are right 🤦🏻♀️
I had a mother who was narcissistic, I worked my ass off to not perpetuate the damage onto my children, I can’t imagine how I would feel if they went no contact but the first place I would look would be myself xx
That's because you are not a narcissist. They never accept any responsibility.
I'm no psychologist, but from observation, it seems that narcissists like this mother lack self-awareness. And it's something they just can't grasp and perhaps never will.
People try to discredit us by saying we aren’t psychologists.. well, psychologists don’t diagnose NPD enough, it’s more prevalent than they are willing to (sometimes) admit. I knew my step mother in-law was something abnormal, I felt sick in her presence. Years later, I figured out what she has always been… a narcissist, per HG Tudor.
literally one of the worst ways a human brain can be which is terrifying. they have no self-awareness so they'll never seek therapy to legitimately get help, only to use it as a weapon in some way. just a miserable, horrifying existence (not making excuses for them)
Narcissists never grasp self awareness because they are perfect or always the victim.
That is a key sign of narcissism btw, other than the constant "me, me, me".
Another is they may name pets or kids after themselves or celebrate their "birthday month" (having 3 birthday parties).
my father is the same ...manipulative...no remorse ...a total void
Completely agree, they always seem to lack self awareness but think they are the most self aware people on the planet. Probably because they can only empathise with themselves, they must confuse that with self reflection
I am a parent AND have been completely estranged from my parents for 15 years. So I can speak from both sides. I am the one who chose the estrangement, and of course I know they blame me - the way an abusive husband blames a wife who finally got the strength to leave. I will never treat my children the way I was treated (in fact, observing their treatment of my children is what put the final nail in the coffin. Treat me like crap all you want. Treat my children badly? You’re dead to me.)
It IS my responsibility to maintain a relationship with my children, no matter how old they get, to do whatever painful soul searching I need to do in order to be the best possible parent I can be. This woman is willingly, defiantly, determinedly blind to her faults.
She has no idea how hard it is to go no contact. In my 60s, I stayed at my mothers side til she passed. I did so at great personal loss and pain for myself and STILL feel guilty for not doing more. So she has passed and I am still suffering and may be for the rest of my life. For many years I WANTED to to go no contact but could not keep the boundary. I wish her daughter well and thank you for your excellent content.
I wish you so much peace and healing. One thing that has helped me heal where everything else failed is deep tissue work that allows the nervous system to release all the pent-up emotional energy.
There's a great book called The Body Keeps the Score.
I'm still in a very stressful situation, almost 60, with an intense rare illness of my own and his has helped calm the lifelong stress so well. It's been a God send.