It is difficult to get over, someone who you loved and cared about so much was not even there. It's a hard pill to take. It's so so wicked. It destroys good hearts and souls. I know this,I've been in this situation. I don't wish it on anyone.
OMG, it's been 17 months since I went no contact, and she just tried to call me in the middle of watching this video. The call was blocked of course. I have to create my own witness protection plan.
Perfect! The real me is I can walk away and go no contact, which I did. They were used to me just putting up with things and always taking the high road. They deserve whatever they get.
We are all here bc we went through something similar, sadly. It does suck bc you invested your time and effort, your heart. You can't reason with them. The ex narc will not listen. All YOU can do is continue to better yourself. I promise you it does get easier, but it takes time. Don't worry, Jesus will take care of them in His own way. Be strong, don't give up, and certainly don't give into them as much a you think it will help...It doesn't. Give it to Jesus❤. God bless you, Anoushka, for helping us all. YOU got this!🙌
year and a half.. and she still wont go away... and with 2 maybe 3 engagements during this time.. obviously her plan is failing miserably.. creepy spiritless entity..
I was raised by a narcissistic father. As a consequence, I now have BPD and my sibling is a narcissist. I could write a book about it. I can spot them from a distance and I would never ever ever ever have a relationship with a narcissistic man.
This is really sad. 😢 because theses people miss out on so much from good people. I'm 57 now and grew up as the family scapegoat. And I'd like to sit down and talk about what it was like for me. My older brother was the golden child. It was a really difficult time. I'd like to share my story and may help someone else.
I’m in my 50s and recently learned that there was a name for her behavior. Once I figured it out it was heartbreaking because I was the family scapegoat. I’ve been no contact for about 4 months…one of the best decisions ever.
My narc+ ex husband cheated on me with his sons wife. He left us all suicidal im still in recovery. It blows my mind still I feel so ugly nonstop, I feel disgusting.
You didn't do anything. It really has nothing to do with you, or your son. You didn't make the decisions. They aren't fully developed people. They are emotionally children between 18 months to 3 years old. But with adult powers, which is what makes them so dangerous. We go through 2 births, the physical birth, then our identity. Infants don't know they are separate people from their mothers or the universe till 18 months, when your identity emerges. That is why you can't remember anything as an infant. If there is trauma when that emergence is occurring, you get a narcissist. They literally don't have an ego. So they have to use everyone else's. The TV show Dexter is a decent portrayal if you are going to put a narcissist development on TV. Trauma occurred as a child when he lost his mother, and spent the rest of his life killing people to recreate the Trauma trying to figure out who he is, pretending to be a normal person. You can't do the would have could haves. Everything is always clearer in hindsight. It is easy to beat yourself up over it. But at the time, without context, those flags didn't have the same meaning. Since the NPD starts so young, and their whole lives are mimicry, they can beat anyone with experience, especially when they aren't hampered by empathy. Not only am I disabled, I am seriously ill, and wanted to have a last Christmas with my family and mine sabotaged it by canceling it behind my back. Then sat around indulging himself and went to 2 other celebrations. They are immature monsters, plain and simple. Go see Professor Sam Vaknin, he wrotethe book on narcissism. I hope you and your family can find healing and peace.
It’s because you confronted & they feel threatened. There is actually a way you can communicate with them so they won’t be triggered. It’s called “empathic something” ..well I forgot lol.. something to the effect that you understand how they’re feeling (empathic) & you speak to them in a way that connects with them in which your message to them doesn’t threaten their self-esteem & so on. I’m sure Anna might better explain it 😊
Got the same response when I said: There is something missing in you. I thought it was autism, but there is just part of you missing. That is when you know you are in territory they have heard before.
I just realize sadly that he has a personality disorder and now whatever he does I don’t take it personally… it is expected of him… just accept and move on …
I figured the next door neighbor was a narcissist the moment he introduced himself. The swagger, the accoutrements, the way he had an answer to something he knew very little about. He continued to prove himself to be a narcissist time and time again. Lies told to the landlord, things going missing from the property, threats of violence, the rages when he was told to keep the noise down. I told him to his face he was a narcissist and I had to call the cops, such was his anger. Then, the next day, he was all bright, smiling, as if nothing had happened.
What I’ve figured out and found out is that this person (my ex) can only give lip service to spiritual ideas, and is quite capable of putting on a false persona to the members of my spiritual community creating, in the process, the illusion of being an ascended spiritually developed person…. ❌🕊❌
I have exited the same situation. Sickening that they portray themselves to be a person that we can confide in and they have our backs only to find out they will sell us out for simple gossip!! They are indeed godless!! ❤❤❤
The reason why rhey have gotten away with with it for so long is they get with the same ones that are like themselves. Karma comes when they meet a empath or a chosen one . there is a demon bein to their soul . Same thing happened to me in childhood except physical sexual came with it. Love and building a person up has always whatvi felt in my heart . Maybe it's because their father mother both were Genetically weak and had no reason to be breeding.
I am not being harsh but the whole "chosen one super empath " is not a thing. You can be anyone, a drug dealer, serial killer, an opera singer. They just need the emotions, not you. In fact, they can turn you into a narcissist too with all the mirroring. This is a narrative to soothe victims of narc abuse,because accepting that you took the bait, is a hard pill to swallow, and prevents people from doing the difficult work of addressing what it is in themselves that makes them vulnerable to these relationships. They are like an AI mannequin without the soul uploaded, and they provoke people to harvest the emotions to try to build their own. When they can't, and they will never be able to, they destroy the false idol or the mother that abandoned them, and start the process over. I hope you find healing and peace.
@@Nylon_riot You are right. The whole ‘super empath’ thing is weird. It is normal for humans to have empathy. It’s narcissists that are different because they don’t. They are emotional vampires on humans.
Must women especially younger ones pretend to be interested in the things the guy likes in the beginning so as to hook him, if they think they like him. After he's hooked then they'll change him...
Just wait when you have a crisis that they created and how they stand watch you put that dumpster fire out. Then create another one non stop fire or peace of mind. Protect those you can cause they will be collateral damage too . Nothing is safe or screed with narcs.
Even when you figure it out and figure them out, when there has been corporate cancellation, massive funding, and 15 years of ongoing damages (ongoing bullying, trafficking, psychological terrorism, silencing, gaming, stalking), there must be a settlement. Period. It cannot and won't make up for what you have been through, nor your most critical years lost, but it will pay 30K in needed dental after 15 years of no dental, etc. etc. etc.
Its kind of sad really. As angry and heartbroken as I am at the ex, i have compassion for him. He was abused. He doesn't have the self awareness or ability to self reflect to stop the perpetual cycle of abuse. In some ways, ( ro try to spin it positively) they are kind of like dark angels. They seem to catapult us into our own growth and self reflection. Most of us have cptsd, and attract them. We are mirrors to each other. Unfortunately they cant go any deeper than their 1 dimensional reflection. I dont wish him Ill
I had a vision of mine as a dark angel. I had hoped we could work together and be light angels, but it seems only one of us wants to grow. Ironically, it was him that expressed a desire for growth to ME. 😂
The judgmental part for sure. As a clinician who did tons of testing I am not a big fan of the Myers brings. I don't see it as useful clinically. People might get a kick out of saying I'm a ABC. But I'd rather use the tests that will tell me about the person. For example I was with a narcissist who took to much pot. Projection city- I was the worst person on the earth. And on went the rage and complaints. In the end I felt like she had taken a full battery of psych tests and clinical interview- her dependency which they usually hide was marked. In the end she asked why I wasn't entertaining her. Big give away- you need to be entertained and have taken to many drugs to mask your emptiness. I kept that to myself. Marked codependency in this covert narc. I didn't react.
I will never find closure 🦋 finding out 40 years later about this condition that existed from the age of 17 till I was 52 was a revelation, but I don’t know now how it helped me knowing , for no one believes me . . It’s Not helping my situation. Sorry . I look forward to when I can sleep forever . 🙏🏻🦋
There are many online communities that help my friend. This is much more widespread than you think. People are waking up to this now all over the world. I lost 33 years to a covert malignant narcissist wife
Thanks pal . But nothing seems to help me now , Knowing . There seems to be no redemption or no one to convince of what really went on !! I. Im stilll everyone s culprit .
@murdomacleod2371 yep in same place. Don't try and justify yourself to anyone because they've already set it up so look crazy. No contact, or if you have to communicate grey rock them. My advice is to move on and make completely new friends, but always keep your eyes open and your armour on. It's the only way. Friends I've known for 24 years have fallen for the smear campaign....obviously they never knew me! Most people don't actually want to hear the truth they just want to choose the option that makes it easy for them. Cowards basically.
Should we not start meeting in some place that all victims can get together and share experiences! I think , we could all then find deserving partners and true real friends, that can really relate to each other. Just a thought 🙏🏻🦋
@murdomacleod2371 yes I think we'll get there soon because the numbers of TH-cam channels have rocketed. Sadly mental health services, particularly here in the UK, are absolutely oblivious to this abuse. I can see a growth in support groups within the community within the next 5 to 10 years, and a shift in the public consciousness towards this kind of behaviour. They're so good at what they do, they are literally psychopaths or sociopaths and just get away with it by blame shifting and transference. It's almost the perfect crime and you can 100% guarantee that they've driven hundreds of people to suicide. Haven't got a lot of sympathy. I can forgive and love them but it will always be from a distance. They would never ever get the old version of me back, they killed him!
The narc treated me so badly, I eventually deleted him. It was one of the best things I ever did. I have learned so much from this dreadful experience that I will not entertain the thought of having him anywhere near me. I feel sorry for the girls that he has ensnared and hope they figure out who this person really is. Thank you Anoushka ❤
It is tragic to fall into this with someone older when we are raw ,young and vulnerable and them being older and possiblely coming from a breeding ground family of narcs!!! ❤❤❤
Hi Maria. How are you? How you’re doing ok. I received your messages on narcdaily and here and replied to them and it seems the messages haven’t been deleted thankfully. I’ve been checking if they get deleted or not. I’m hoping you have received them. Sometimes email Notifications don’t come through. I’m still posting sometimes over there too and here and on some of the other channels I mentioned to you (incase you’re writing to me and I haven’t responded it’s likely I didn’t get notified). I decided to just branch out as well and write comments on a few channels now without fear. I simply feel ignored sometimes elsewhere and I just want to communicate with others who understand (especially you). I hope you’re doing ok. Please let me know if you receive this message. Sending you a big hug. And also, I understand when you mention being young and ending up with older narcs. I feel / felt taken advantage of too. ❤❤❤❤
@@lailaa6662 hi Laila , i sent you a message to you over on narc daily in response to your message from Wednesday. I sent this a few hours ago. Take a little ok at you TH-cam notifications. In that message I have let you know what has been going on in my life lately. Please let me know if you get this. I can't keep up with all the messages I receive and send out...I am plum tuckered out by all the deleted messages going on lately. Thank you for your love and hugs. I send you the same. 🌺🌹✨🙏💫🪶🦊💕
So, how can you love a narcissistic abusive wife and give ourselves the childhood love that both husband and wife never got from our dysfunctional families
Anoshka your videos really help me thank you soooo much this is what I'm going through I'm in a dark place atm 😢😢😢😢 but you make a difference I listen to you all the time absolutely AMAZING Anoshka 🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👏👏👏👏🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🙏🙏
You treat people how you see yourself; they hate themselves.
It is difficult to get over, someone who you loved and cared about so much was not even there. It's a hard pill to take. It's so so wicked. It destroys good hearts and souls. I know this,I've been in this situation. I don't wish it on anyone.
RUN
OMG, it's been 17 months since I went no contact, and she just tried to call me in the middle of watching this video. The call was blocked of course. I have to create my own witness protection plan.
They are just very very Sick and …. Evil! 😡
I really love watching his program it awesome and informative, we're you watching from?
Once for all... Let them know you know..... Their game over.... Move on 🥰🥰🥰
Perfect! The real me is I can walk away and go no contact, which I did. They were used to me just putting up with things and always taking the high road. They deserve whatever they get.
Serious topic aside, Ms. Anoushka always looks so lovely.
We are all here bc we went through something similar, sadly. It does suck bc you invested your time and effort, your heart. You can't reason with them. The ex narc will not listen. All YOU can do is continue to better yourself. I promise you it does get easier, but it takes time. Don't worry, Jesus will take care of them in His own way. Be strong, don't give up, and certainly don't give into them as much a you think it will help...It doesn't. Give it to Jesus❤. God bless you, Anoushka, for helping us all. YOU got this!🙌
When you get it? You understand it is your problem.
year and a half.. and she still wont go away... and with 2 maybe 3 engagements during this time.. obviously her plan is failing miserably.. creepy spiritless entity..
I was raised by a narcissistic father. As a consequence, I now have BPD and my sibling is a narcissist. I could write a book about it. I can spot them from a distance and I would never ever ever ever have a relationship with a narcissistic man.
Yes absolutely they are in a pool of misery.
Wow im blown away!!!!!!!!! 😳
This is really sad. 😢 because theses people miss out on so much from good people.
I'm 57 now and grew up as the family scapegoat. And I'd like to sit down and talk about what it was like for me. My older brother was the golden child. It was a really difficult time. I'd like to share my story and may help someone else.
I have a friend who was the family scapegoat and still struggles in her 50’s. You have to learn to love yourself. To be your own parent.
I’m in my 50s and recently learned that there was a name for her behavior. Once I figured it out it was heartbreaking because I was the family scapegoat. I’ve been no contact for about 4 months…one of the best decisions ever.
My narc+ ex husband cheated on me with his sons wife. He left us all suicidal im still in recovery. It blows my mind still I feel so ugly nonstop, I feel disgusting.
You didn't do anything. It really has nothing to do with you, or your son. You didn't make the decisions.
They aren't fully developed people. They are emotionally children between 18 months to 3 years old. But with adult powers, which is what makes them so dangerous.
We go through 2 births, the physical birth, then our identity. Infants don't know they are separate people from their mothers or the universe till 18 months, when your identity emerges. That is why you can't remember anything as an infant.
If there is trauma when that emergence is occurring, you get a narcissist. They literally don't have an ego. So they have to use everyone else's.
The TV show Dexter is a decent portrayal if you are going to put a narcissist development on TV. Trauma occurred as a child when he lost his mother, and spent the rest of his life killing people to recreate the Trauma trying to figure out who he is, pretending to be a normal person.
You can't do the would have could haves. Everything is always clearer in hindsight. It is easy to beat yourself up over it. But at the time, without context, those flags didn't have the same meaning.
Since the NPD starts so young, and their whole lives are mimicry, they can beat anyone with experience, especially when they aren't hampered by empathy.
Not only am I disabled, I am seriously ill, and wanted to have a last Christmas with my family and mine sabotaged it by canceling it behind my back. Then sat around indulging himself and went to 2 other celebrations. They are immature monsters, plain and simple.
Go see Professor Sam Vaknin, he wrotethe book on narcissism. I hope you and your family can find healing and peace.
@@Nylon_riot THANK YOU IM CRYING AFTER READING THIS!! ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTION OR HURT FOR THEIR ACTIONS IM SO SCARED
Thank you so much for your videos! Great info, God Bless!
I really love watching his program it awesome and informative, we're you watching from?
Me: not sure what this is but it sure don't feel like love
Her: Here we go
Here we go
Im not in the mood for this today.
(Then she blocked me)
It’s because you confronted & they feel threatened. There is actually a way you can communicate with them so they won’t be triggered. It’s called “empathic something” ..well I forgot lol.. something to the effect that you understand how they’re feeling (empathic) & you speak to them in a way that connects with them in which your message to them doesn’t threaten their self-esteem & so on.
I’m sure Anna might better explain it 😊
Lucky you! She just saved you years of insidious torture. Block her and enjoy your peace of mind.
And they cannot comprehend why do you care about them because from an emotional stunted person it blows their mind.
Got the same response when I said: There is something missing in you. I thought it was autism, but there is just part of you missing.
That is when you know you are in territory they have heard before.
@@Nylon_riot good one ☝️😄
Spot on.
So true. You just know how my ex is.
Pleased I'm free from it
God Bless you!! Amazing videos!! ❤
I just realize sadly that he has a personality disorder and now whatever he does I don’t take it personally… it is expected of him… just accept and move on …
I figured the next door neighbor was a narcissist the moment he introduced himself. The swagger, the accoutrements, the way he had an answer to something he knew very little about. He continued to prove himself to be a narcissist time and time again. Lies told to the landlord, things going missing from the property, threats of violence, the rages when he was told to keep the noise down. I told him to his face he was a narcissist and I had to call the cops, such was his anger. Then, the next day, he was all bright, smiling, as if nothing had happened.
Go on holiday with someone, there's no alternative other than getting to see who they really are in those circumstances.
What I’ve figured out and found out is that this person (my ex) can only give lip service to spiritual ideas, and is quite capable of putting on a false persona to the members of my spiritual community creating, in the process, the illusion of being an ascended spiritually developed person….
❌🕊❌
Yep my ex did in church for 15 years
The church is full of devils and pastors are 300% more likely to be narcissist.
Boom! I know someone like that in church too
I have exited the same situation.
Sickening that they portray themselves to be a person that we can confide in and they have our backs only to find out they will sell us out for simple gossip!!
They are indeed godless!!
❤❤❤
@@mariageaney2362 confiding in them is a no-win situation! Every tidbit that I shared with her in confidence was ultimately used against me.
The reason why rhey have gotten away with with it for so long is they get with the same ones that are like themselves. Karma comes when they meet a empath or a chosen one . there is a demon bein to their soul . Same thing happened to me in childhood except physical sexual came with it. Love and building a person up has always whatvi felt in my heart . Maybe it's because their father mother both were Genetically weak and had no reason to be breeding.
I am not being harsh but the whole "chosen one super empath " is not a thing. You can be anyone, a drug dealer, serial killer, an opera singer. They just need the emotions, not you. In fact, they can turn you into a narcissist too with all the mirroring.
This is a narrative to soothe victims of narc abuse,because accepting that you took the bait, is a hard pill to swallow, and prevents people from doing the difficult work of addressing what it is in themselves that makes them vulnerable to these relationships.
They are like an AI mannequin without the soul uploaded, and they provoke people to harvest the emotions to try to build their own. When they can't, and they will never be able to, they destroy the false idol or the mother that abandoned them, and start the process over.
I hope you find healing and peace.
@@Nylon_riot
You are right. The whole ‘super empath’ thing is weird. It is normal for humans to have empathy. It’s narcissists that are different because they don’t. They are emotional vampires on humans.
Must women especially younger ones pretend to be interested in the things the guy likes in the beginning so as to hook him, if they think they like him. After he's hooked then they'll change him...
Just wait when you have a crisis that they created and how they stand watch you put that dumpster fire out. Then create another one non stop fire or peace of mind. Protect those you can cause they will be collateral damage too . Nothing is safe or screed with narcs.
You are trying to understand something that is so insane that you can’t
💯
Even when you figure it out and figure them out, when there has been corporate cancellation, massive funding, and 15 years of ongoing damages (ongoing bullying, trafficking, psychological terrorism, silencing, gaming, stalking), there must be a settlement. Period. It cannot and won't make up for what you have been through, nor your most critical years lost, but it will pay 30K in needed dental after 15 years of no dental, etc. etc. etc.
Her bs. With 11 fake Facebook accounts!!😮😮😮
Its kind of sad really. As angry and heartbroken as I am at the ex, i have compassion for him. He was abused. He doesn't have the self awareness or ability to self reflect to stop the perpetual cycle of abuse. In some ways, ( ro try to spin it positively) they are kind of like dark angels. They seem to catapult us into our own growth and self reflection. Most of us have cptsd, and attract them. We are mirrors to each other. Unfortunately they cant go any deeper than their 1 dimensional reflection. I dont wish him Ill
I had a vision of mine as a dark angel. I had hoped we could work together and be light angels, but it seems only one of us wants to grow. Ironically, it was him that expressed a desire for growth to ME. 😂
A narcissist sounds very similar to an INFJ. What 's the difference? Any thoughts on this?!?
The judgmental part for sure. As a clinician who did tons of testing I am not a big fan of the Myers brings. I don't see it as useful clinically. People might get a kick out of saying I'm a ABC. But I'd rather use the tests that will tell me about the person. For example I was with a narcissist who took to much pot. Projection city- I was the worst person on the earth. And on went the rage and complaints. In the end I felt like she had taken a full battery of psych tests and clinical interview- her dependency which they usually hide was marked. In the end she asked why I wasn't entertaining her. Big give away- you need to be entertained and have taken to many drugs to mask your emptiness. I kept that to myself. Marked codependency in this covert narc. I didn't react.
Amem..ots them not ypu
I will never find closure 🦋 finding out 40 years later about this condition that existed from the age of 17 till I was 52 was a revelation, but I don’t know now how it helped me knowing , for no one believes me . . It’s Not helping my situation. Sorry . I look forward to when I can sleep forever . 🙏🏻🦋
There are many online communities that help my friend. This is much more widespread than you think. People are waking up to this now all over the world. I lost 33 years to a covert malignant narcissist wife
Thanks pal . But nothing seems to help me now , Knowing . There seems to be no redemption or no one to convince of what really went on !! I. Im stilll everyone s culprit .
@murdomacleod2371 yep in same place. Don't try and justify yourself to anyone because they've already set it up so look crazy. No contact, or if you have to communicate grey rock them. My advice is to move on and make completely new friends, but always keep your eyes open and your armour on. It's the only way. Friends I've known for 24 years have fallen for the smear campaign....obviously they never knew me! Most people don't actually want to hear the truth they just want to choose the option that makes it easy for them. Cowards basically.
Should we not start meeting in some place that all victims can get together and share experiences! I think , we could all then find deserving partners and true real friends, that can really relate to each other. Just a thought 🙏🏻🦋
@murdomacleod2371 yes I think we'll get there soon because the numbers of TH-cam channels have rocketed. Sadly mental health services, particularly here in the UK, are absolutely oblivious to this abuse. I can see a growth in support groups within the community within the next 5 to 10 years, and a shift in the public consciousness towards this kind of behaviour. They're so good at what they do, they are literally psychopaths or sociopaths and just get away with it by blame shifting and transference. It's almost the perfect crime and you can 100% guarantee that they've driven hundreds of people to suicide. Haven't got a lot of sympathy. I can forgive and love them but it will always be from a distance. They would never ever get the old version of me back, they killed him!
The narc treated me so badly, I eventually deleted him.
It was one of the best things I ever did.
I have learned so much from this dreadful experience that I will not entertain the thought of having him anywhere near me.
I feel sorry for the girls that he has ensnared and hope they figure out who this person really is.
Thank you Anoushka ❤
It is tragic to fall into this with someone older when we are raw ,young and vulnerable and them being older and possiblely coming from a breeding ground family of narcs!!!
❤❤❤
Hi Maria. How are you? How you’re doing ok. I received your messages on narcdaily and here and replied to them and it seems the messages haven’t been deleted thankfully. I’ve been checking if they get deleted or not. I’m hoping you have received them. Sometimes email
Notifications don’t come through. I’m still posting sometimes over there too and here and on some of the other channels I mentioned to you (incase you’re writing to me and I haven’t responded it’s likely I didn’t get notified). I decided to just branch out as well and write comments on a few channels now without fear. I simply feel ignored sometimes elsewhere and I just want to communicate with others who understand (especially you). I hope you’re doing ok. Please let me know if you receive this message. Sending you a big hug. And also, I understand when you mention being young and ending up with older narcs. I feel / felt taken advantage of too. ❤❤❤❤
@@lailaa6662 hi Laila , i sent you a message to you over on narc daily in response to your message from Wednesday. I sent this a few hours ago.
Take a little ok at you TH-cam notifications.
In that message I have let you know what has been going on in my life lately.
Please let me know if you get this.
I can't keep up with all the messages I receive and send out...I am plum tuckered out by all the deleted messages going on lately.
Thank you for your love and hugs.
I send you the same.
🌺🌹✨🙏💫🪶🦊💕
Connecting dots is dumb and impartial to the truth believe what you want you’ll find an answer for anything if you look hard enough bs content imo
Could you please not add the dim background music in your videos
Sooo distracting
So, how can you love a narcissistic abusive wife and give ourselves the childhood love that both husband and wife never got from our dysfunctional families
Anoshka your videos really help me thank you soooo much this is what I'm going through I'm in a dark place atm 😢😢😢😢 but you make a difference I listen to you all the time absolutely AMAZING Anoshka 🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👏👏👏👏🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🙏🙏