It’s not the husband wife who called him it was his mom. The husband sent his wife on vacation and his son call his grandma trying to get out of punishment.
I feel this needs to be shared more broadly. Bad news for story one: OP made a comment to provide an update: - He and Sarah are still together because she is financially dependent on him - They're planning to move to another state - OP clarified that he found the pics on an alt account, not her main one It was rightly pointed out that moving Sarah to another state would further isolate her, which is also a red flag for abuse.
Who wants to bet that the dying wife highly suspected the existence of husband’s side piece before her death and that’s why she asked that of the grandparents?
It's funny how we all assume that when a partner dies after being sick, that they had a good/ close/ healthy relationship. She obviously didn't trust her partner and the fact another woman moved in with them only 8 months after his wife's death is definitely odd- agreed- he was seeing her already the wife knew he couldn't handle being alone..then the new woman has a baby and is pregnant from 2 different men (who obviously were never in the picture) - also odd...then in 10 years they had 4 more kids AND no relationship with hubby's family or new wife's family - again very strange.... something does not add up
@@kalifogg6610 Oh, I absolutely believe that. The "stepsiblings" are half-siblings. That poor woman, knowing all of that while dying (or at least suspecting something was up).
"raising boys is so much easier" so what she means here is that she is not and will not put in the effort to understand her son and help him when he struggles
@desperate need of scotch All the struggles of growing up including understanding your body, sadness from rejections and all of the failures a kid needs to grow. The struggles of taking a class that he can't really understand despite putting effort in, and trying to figure out what he enjoys in life so that he can find happiness and fulfillment later on. All of these things are what a kid struggles and needs assistance in, and while some can parent themselves through those challenges, it's much easier with a trusted parent to guide you through it all. His parent seems to prefer not being the guide and probably just expects the kids to do their own thing and grow on their own.
The more I look into it, the more I learn that "Grandparent's rights" are not the rights of the grandparents to have access to grandkids, but Children's rights to have access to their grandparents. It's for the maintaining of healthy relationships for children, not for a grandparent to force their way in.
The Daycare Story: Does OP not pick up her daughter at the same time every day? I feel like the teacher should be winding down the big activities as pick-up time approaches. So the poor planning thing applies to her as well.
Considering op had an appointment something is a miss. Did op tell her? At the moment I’m on OP’s side because Sasha should not be rude to her clients though text.
@@magnolia_cc its one pick up and its because of an appointment. she isnt teaching her kid its okay to break rules and again its not in their contract.
this is going to suck to hear, but outside of different gender problems they are about equal unless you have a sociopath, the main difference being if your son knocks a girl up, he is now working a full time job, where as if your daughters gets knocked up congratulations on now needing to raise a kid that's not yours.
@@beavis1887 quite a lot of kids are absolute fucking monsters with near 0 way to control them, oh you put them in time out, well now they make your life hell for the entirety of the time out. oh, they want a thing you wont give them, welcome to the next 72+ hour long tantrum. count yourself lucky if you don't have to deal with this shit, or count my parents unlucky that they had one passive kid and one absolute fucking nightmare of a kid. no amount of good parenting is going to stop a kid who has no real fear of what you will do.
For the fifth story: his mom said that he shouldn't judge her sister cause she just loves her sons and OP shouldn't judge her, but it's totally fine for her to judge him and his daughter and say that hurtful stuff? Screw that! He stood up for his daughter and showed her that he's on her side like any father should!
yes! hypocrisy in its purest form, to be honest op is very soft spoken, if I were in his shoes I will say "well i can't imagine what mom used to feel wile raised YOU, you are a girl after all"
@@dinlupus3196 RIGHT!! Exactly! I agree with you 100%! He could definitely have been harsher and I still wouldn't have judged him for it! Once you comment or goes for someone's kids, all bets are off!
I'm going to say this, because it really is worth stating. That sister? Is most likely neglecting her children. Despite what people tend to think, raising children in a healthy manner is equally difficult regardless of gender. But it has become culturally acceptable to abandon boys and force them to essentially raise themselves, while girls get either enough attention or coddled. The reason I'm claiming neglect in this case is her blowing up over the idea of waiting in line to get a gift for her kids. If that, if something as basic as 'waiting in line to get your kid a gift they want' is too much effort for her, one can only wonder at what other things she considers far beneath her.
It's not even as if she is just rejoicing in being a 'boy mum', it's that she flat out thinks that boys are way better. What a disgusting person to voice that weird mindset out loud, and particularly in front of children. She is simply not a nice person.
I agree. Secondly boy are not easy to raise. They're rough and eat a lot. I have a neighbor who have three boys and their food bill is high. I also agree that OP's sister is jealous that she doesn't have a daughter to bond.
The husband in the last story phrased it like she was having a midlife crisis and was roleplaying as a princess for days when she was just playing with her kid and he just freaks out at the first instance of her playing pretend with their child.
i heard from someone that op mentioned she brought the princess play to the bedroom, and i think that's creepy and changes the story if that is the truth tbh...if that is the case op really should have included that in the original post
Seems like OP has the mindset of once you become an adult, you must behave like one for the rest of your life, even when you have a kid and you want to bond with them. Feels like OP is more ageist than like the Grinch.
I noticed R/ often gets a little confused in stories. He mixes up who is who and whatnot. Caught him using the wrong pronoun for ppl a few times(calling a wife "he" on occasion). So I think this is just another one of those times he's a bit confused.
Fourth Story: I’m the end game of shaming girls for being girly. My family (and other factors of being raised in the 90’s - long story) gave me some gender dysphoria. It’s like I was raised to believe that teenage girls were the worst thing on planet earth. I was a Tom Boy anyway but I was shamed out of ever exploring my feminine side. I’m still going to therapy. Don’t do that shit, it’s damaging. EDIT: Seeing the replies to my comment, I realize now the fourth story may have been the guy who told his wife she's not a princess... I think. My mistake, I was actually commenting more on the story of the lady who was proud of being a "Boy Mom" and shamed her ?niece? for liking Taylor Swift and how the shenanigans with the merch line meant all little girls are emotional and difficult. That triggered me the most. I'm not even a Swift fan but I can empathize. Long merch lines are frustrating, especially when you're young and you're still learning how to manage your emotions. Also... with the Princess Wife story, SHE IS A TREASURE AND OP DOESN'T DESERVE HER. Aforementioned personal details above, I would have LOVED to play Princess Pizza Party with my Mom. >:( Honestly though... it's not to late for us, I have a little niece who is about 4 and it would make her day.
Honestly I thought OP was playing pretend too........by pretending to be the rude, insecure man baby (with probably some fragile masculinity in the mix) who ruins his wife and daughter's day by bullying the two girls for being, well.. girls! But I know now that's just his real self. OP the a- hole here, he should do some growing up before he tells his wife to grow up.
@@jessicadriver1636 You're mixing up the stories. The 4th story was about the "boy mom" not the guy with a stick up his ass about his wife and daughter playing princess.
@@jessicadriver1636 You're mixing up the stories. The 4th story was about the "boy mom" not the guy with a stick up his ass about his wife and daughter playing princess.
Still.. what do you mean shaming girls for being girly? It's alright if your a tomboy but it doesn't excuse you to doing the same and bullying others for wanting to dress more girly. Like I hate that it happened to you though. But if your not saying anything like that then I'm sorry. I've had my own issues with people who hate gender stereotypes and then try to make others fit a totally new one and then got yelled at for not doing so.
@@Twinklethefox9022 they said they're the end game for shaming girls for being girly, cause the abuse line ends with them (they're not gonna continue the cycle they received from their parents).
rSlash hit the nail on the head on the boy mom story. I'm pretty sure OP says somewhere in the comments that the sister used to really want a girl, but it never happened for her, and that's when her personality changed.
I'm shocked that OP's sister didn't want to "trade kids". If her son and his daughter where close to or are the same age and she could have gotten away with it or thought that she could.... but it sounds like she couldn't for one reason or another.
Daycare Clean Up: I'm a daycare worker. We try to get the kids to clean up at least something from what they were playing with before they go home (i.e. put your chair away if it's snacktime, put your blanket away if it's naptime, clean up X amount of toys from the area you were in) just so they build that habit. But it's never 100% enforced bc the kids are excited to see their parents. Sasha gets 4/5 bc she's being ridiculous. This was a great opportunity to teach the other kids how to help a friend when an "emergency" happens, and instead she may have just lost money over a single small incident. OP, I hope you can find a new daycare bc I would not trust Sasha to not mistreat your child now.
Story 6: I was ready to agree with OP because he made it sound like she was literally acting like a child. But he challenged her once and she immediately stops? She was just having fun with her kid, what a psycho.
We're also not told if this is the first time this has happened or not. It is possible that the wife is always playing pretend with the daughter and demanding that he cook for them. There are plenty of parents that use playing with their children as an excuse to avoid being an adult the majority of the time, expecting their "partner" to be responsible for everything (often in addition to working full time while the childish parent is a stay at home parent).
Lol, our reaction was "there is only one correct answer! 'You're not a Princess, Honey. You're the Queen, and of course I will make you a pizza!' with a flourish and over dramatics (and stealth fancy chocolate later)" ... Clearly this OP has lost his sense of fun and is just a grump who always "acts his age" - can't drink cocoa, only coffee as dark as his attitude...
@@Brigand231 That still makes no sense. Because if it was a recurring issue, then she'd throw a massive fit about being told no. She basically just said 'ok' and let it drop. The only one with an issue here, is OP.
Op:Finds explicit pics of his girlfriend and talks to her about it. Her:I stopped doing it after I got a job as a teacher to prevent myself from getting into trouble. Op:Gossips. Is shocked when wife does in fact get in trouble. Also R/Slash, I think you misunderstood the kid yelling at his mom about laundry story. The wife wasn't undermining anyone. Op was called by his own mother, not the wife. It was OP's mom upset about her grandchild being punished
They aren't married they were boyfriend and girlfriend, hopefully now ex, because this was the worst, actually if they were married to each other I don't know if it was to bad, but the fact they are dating make the situation a lot worse.
@@DarkHeartTheEmo Sadly, they didn't. In a comment where OP provided an update, he explained that because he ruined her career, Sarah is financially dependent on him and they were planning to move to another state. He also explained that the pictures he found were on an alt account. He was rightly condemned for basically trying to take Sarah away from her support system.
Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update: Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now. Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us. Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation. Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
Fourth story: I think telling children that their interests, their behaviour, i.e. their pure existence is a burden is among the worst things you could say to a child.
Daycare worker is 100% the A in this situation. As a teacher, it’s not hard to make sure the kids aren’t getting into something complicated right before the end of the daycare/school day. She accused the mother of poor planning when actually it was the daycare teacher’s poor planning. You don’t delay pickup unless something major happens, it’s a pretty simple concept.
OP stated they don’t pick up their child at a scheduled time. OP should have informed the teacher in the morning of the planned pick-up time if the appointment was so important. That way the child would have been ready well before she go there.
Yes, I spent five years working at a daycare center, by the time parents started to pick up their kids all the big stuff is put away and we were doing smaller activities. Reading a story, playing on the playground, singing songs, everything major was already cleaned up.
First story: YTA. You told a friend who you KNOW is a huge gossip, and now your GF's reputation as a teacher might be seriously tarnished. Don't be surprised if she leaves you. Second story: NTA. It's your choice whether or not you see your former SIL's kids as your grandkids. Also, I'm betting Joy knew that her husband was cheating on her.
Update Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update: Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now. Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us. Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation. Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
Update Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update: Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now. Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us. Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation. Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
OP's girlfriend got fired from her position as a teacher. Did you have a chance to read the post on AITA, yet? Is it ever a damn doozy. Especially OP's comments.
Story 4: What the hell did I just read? OP's sister literally heard a story about her niece (OP's daughter) at a concert, having the time of her life, and totally shot her down. OP was right to stick up for his daughter. I also agree with rSlash that she's saying this kid's interests and hobbies are a burden. I'll bet the farm that secretly she feels the same way about the interests of her three boys. We don't know how old her boys are, but what is she going to do when they start developing their own interests and hobbies? What is she going to do when they want to go to concerts and events? If she's this dismissive with them as she was with her niece, she's going to find out how difficult raising three boys can be.
@@radhiadeedou8286 When I was growing up in the 1980's/1990's I wasn't a strictly "girly-girl". Sure I played with dolls and such. Pink was my favorite color as a young girl but, that was a phase that I grew out of! I wasn't too girly though, to join in when my youngest cousin was playing with his TMNT action figures and wanted me to play with him or to collect baseball cards! I'd throw around a football with him too! Sure my Mom enjoyed it when she could put me in frilly dresses(there was a time I actually loved wearing dresses, a phase that I outgrew as well) and there was a time I was excited about using make-up, until I realized as a teenager, with my sensitive skin that it clogged my pores and gave me horrible acne! However, once the event that required me to be "dolled up" was over, I was quick to change into something that I wouldn't get into trouble if I got it messy! I'd be quick to wash what little make-up I was wearing off my face and treat it so my pores wouldn't clog! Usually play clothes! Or when I was older t-shirt/shorts in the summer and jeans/sweatshirt/turtleneck in the fall/winter/spring!
The daycare story. I'm a daycare teacher, spesificly 18 months to 3 years. We never delay the parents picking up their kids unless it was an activity like painting, in which case, we're cleaning up the kids. That teacher is overstepping her bounds, massively. Personally, I'd report her to the state.
Yeah I thought the same : no matter the situation (even the really bad ones sadly), a parent's authority over their kids oversteps easily the ones of the teacher. Like, by just saying "I refuse to give you back your kid", doesn't it counts like some kind of kidnapping situation, lol ?
You're being too severe a little imo. Yeah, she could've been more flexible, but she isn't breaking the law or mistreating the kids. Up until then, she had been very adaptable and nice. Ruining their business because of one bad interaction would make OP an AH.
I wonder if maybe it’s a Montessori thing? I think in Montessori they have the kids clean up? But regardless they should have the kids done cleaning up by the time pickup rolls around.
Went to check out the story about the man that hates his wife being a princess with his daughter. He must have gotten reamed sooo hard that he deleted the story and his channel.
I saw that story in another channel. He mentions how his wife likes to "roleplay princess" in private with him, if you know what I mean. And this is why he doesn't like to play like this with his daughter, he finds it weird that it overlaps and finds it uncomfortable
@@anaisvillarreal4405 Understandable, but there’s an obvious difference between playing princess with her child, and role playing for her husband. At the end of the day, if he doesn’t like one, he doesn’t get both.
@@scpfoundation8376 wouldn't you find it weird that your wife made the same voices she does in bed, while playing with you and your daughter? I'd personally also feel uncomfortable. That's the issue, it's not the same, but she acts the same.
@@sweetsugarystars2378 that's also true, I think most people didn't believe it cause he didn't say it at first, I mean if he had he wouldn't be buried in YTAs The account was shadow banned so it was probably just a troll in the end
1st story. It's such a classic move for a gossiper to accuse someone else of being a gossiper because they shared the information further. Even though you weren't supposed to share it with them to begin with. I feel like the vast majority of gossipers are in complete denial about the fact that they are actually the problem.
Rslash, you need to go back and read story 4 again. It was OP's mom that called up. Meaning the kid's grandma. She's the one that called up not the wife.
I understood it just fine and I was just listening, not reading. When Rslash started in on the wife, I was like, “Woah wait wasn’t it OP’s mom?” And I went back to read it and yeah he’s just wrong.
I saw the last story on another channel. In the comments the OP mentions his wife likes to take the princess roleplay to the bedroom. He finds it kinda creepy she uses the same voices and stuff while playing with the daughter and doesn't like to participate. I think that changes the story a bit hahaha
YEAH......That's what I figured was going on. She was putting on a child act in a s*xual context and I think any man would find that super super creepy and uncomfortable (That is, a man who isn't also into that sort of thing. And even then you guys need to talk about it beforehand. You can't just ambush someone with a crazy kink like that.)
Story 1: "I didn't know this could happen." She literally told you point blank that it could. Op sucks, but honestly, so does the school. So what she was a former lingerie model? Is she sharing those pictures with her students? Is she doing other inappropriate things with them? No? So then why not just talk to her about it and maybe help figure out a way to get them removed if they're THAT bothered by them? People have lives before they come walking in to apply for a job, they don't just pop into existence, and sometimes those lives put you in a place where you may have to do something you aren't entirely comfortable with in order to make ends meet. Plus, don't they do background checks? The fact that she was hired meant they didn't come up in whatever was searched, so what the hell was Op doing 😭
Welcome to the US Education system, where teachers aren't allowed to be human ! Teachers have lost their jobs over having a drink at a restaurant and being seen by one of their kid's parents. Teachers have lost jobs for stuff on their social media from when they were in college. And this woman isn't the first teacher to lose her job over something that happened well before her teaching career. Just one of the many reasons fewer and fewer people want to be teachers. Albeit one of the smaller straws on the camel's back.
@@ericdugdale8585There are other countries in the world that are separated by states besides USA, for example Mexico. In fact Mexico's official name is "United Mexican States".
boymom story: of course raising boys is easier! you can just emotionally neglect them and leave them to their own devices and it's considered absolutely normal behaviour!
Also what it is. It's just pure misogyny. It's that girls are emotional and girls are drama forgetting that boys have just as much drama as girls do and anger and rage our emotions. And they're dangerous emotions at that. I work with a lot of women in the medical field. And I can tell you right now the most drama llamas in the building are the men. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she isn't prone to toxic ideas like internalized misogyny.
I love r/. I go to bed around this time bc I work night shifts, and this is amazing to sleep to. Calming and relaxing voice with stories to focus on instead of my mind racing about with random nonsense. Thank you rslash for being an important part to my daily/nightly routine.
The dude "added context" and Lo and behold... Abusive cliché LOL player redditor bf. - Ruined her career and adds that now, she can't dump him because she'd be on the street. - Says that they're moving state to "have a fresh start" (look up the post, in context, it pretty much reads as "take her away from her support network")
@Hiroshi yoooo Now that I see that, this seems way more sinister and calculate it. I honestly only think he posted this to AITA Because he was already trying to isolate her even further by acting oblivious and getting the Internet on his side. Also, I think he already knew that she did laundry modeling in the past ( She says she thought He already knew, Which presumably means that she already told him) But now his egos bruised And hes using this as a vindictive tactic to isolate her even further and control her more because he couldn't control her past. Stone cold narcissist, that one. He's played this game for a long time.
Yeah op’s an ahole, but why would the gf not private or remove those pics from insta? Also, the school board are among the biggest aholes here… you can be very professional and good at your job while “having a past.”
Story 2: my version of the story: SIL wanted to force his kids into an entirely new family not even a year after their mom passed away, it's not working and he needs someone to blame so he'll blame his deceased wife's relatives. Because they won't help him manipulate his kids and accepting the new family, and he can't isolate his kid from them because of legal reasons. The only option is to guilt Trip the family in the doing when he won so he can have his fake happy family, and free babysitting because eight kids is a lot for any body and it would be nice if someone could watch all of them every mandated visit so they can have fun.
Rslash, for the sixth story OP meant by “call my mom” he meant as in his son called his grandmother OPs mom. Because why would all his wife punish him as a kid he meant that the son was going to call his grandma to complain.
You're right except OP literally had car issues, so that was entirely out of her control. Plus OP was doing her best to be responsible and messaging the daycare so her kid would be ready to leave by the time she arrived.
Yep! Sometimes we have to drop whatever we are doing to take care of something urgent. If someone is having car trouble and needs to pick up their kid earlier than normal, that's more important than cleaning up some toys. Most of the time it sounds like this isn't an issue especially since OP is being responsible by letting them know when she's on her way to pick up her daughter. Daycare usually schedules their day to include enough time for the kids to clean up their activities and they don't plan messy projects at the end of the day.
@@Richard_Nickerson You're welcome! It can be hard to convey what you're trying to say in text as it's not uncommon for someone to misunderstand. We can't see facial expressions or hear someone's tone or voice when reading texts.
Third story: NTA. Sasha should know something there's no time to clean up. If there's a fire and they have to run for their lives is she going to demand that the kids clean? And besides, she called OP's emergency as "poor planning", as if someone could predict everything that will happen in a day.
Hi RSlash, for the Laundry story the kid's attitude is pretty normal for a pre-teen/early teen. My brother, brother-in-law and I are all going through this sudden attitude shift in our oldest sons.
*First OP:* The gossip was out of line for snitching to the school board, but they wouldn't have known about it if OP hadn't said anything. ESH except Sarah. *Second OP:* OP was fulfilling Joy's wish, which did not include the kids of their SIL and his new wife. Any rift between that family was the SIL's doing. OP is NTA. Also, eight months?! I'd be surprised if the second wife was not an affair partner. *Third OP:* LOL at Sasha reprimanding OP. I thought this would a case in which OP was a Karen, but she (?) was being reasonable in texting Sasha ahead of time except for this one time. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* OP was protecting his daughter nothing wrong with that. Also, OP's right that it _is_ stupid to say boys are easier to raise than girls when they _both_ suck. 😛 OP is NTA. Also, why do I feel like OP's mom favors his sister over him? *Fifth OP:* OP handled the situation well; kudos. Hopefully his son will grow out of the entitled phase sooner rather than later. OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* I agree with the replies that said OP should've said "You're not a princess; you're a queen!" OP is TA. Lol at "meanie pants"! Also, the airplane story is adorable 😊
I just want to add on to the first two stories. #1 Op knew that one of the people he told was a gossip connected to the school GF worked for which kinda shows some level of intent on his part. He might not have wanted her fired but he certainly seemed to have wanted word to spread around the school. #2. It's wild to me that the *ex son in-law* thinks his late wife's parents owe him anything. It'd be one thing if they were close and saw each other as family but it's pretty clear they aren't and don't. He's just the father of their grandkids, they hold no obligation towards him.
I was VERY MUCH prepared to give the 5th OP a "YTA" rating hearing the start of the story because I assumed he was going to be leaving the two of them alone together for the majority of the week while he was working. However the fact he's going to be present makes me relieved and I'll give him a "NTA" score.
OP's Son Yells At His Mother, Calls Grandma When OP Punished Son: If the kid could call his grandmother that fast to tattle on OP I'm willing to bet that she's part of the reason the boy has learned this behavior
It's hardly "private" if he found the pictures posted all over Instagram. It's not like they were on her hard drive, they were already on the internet.
Taking Care: OP sent his wife on the vacation. OP's mother, not wife, called OP to complain after the son called her. So, it isn't from the mother/wife. It is the grandmother. So, OP paying for his wife's trip actually has nothing to do with anything, because it is grandma that is trying to undermind OP.
In the day care story, does sasha not know what time OP is going to be picking up his daughter? It sounds like sasha needs to have better time management with the children. It * is * her business.
I think OP needs better time management. Sounds like she arrives whenever and without warning. She said Sasha had no problem having the kid ready when Op gave a heads up. So how is Sasha the problem?
Not necessarily. OP said she was running behind and was not an emergency. With that in mind, it’s all on OP. Sasha and OP had an agreement to cleanup her daughters mess. Unless we know this was a regular pick up time or Sasha was informed of OP being late, OP is definitely the butthole.
@@fdm2155 I say both her and Sasha has time management problems. OP for coming late without warning and Sasha for letting kids makes huge messes right before children are getting picked up, thus delaying parents even more. Sasha could easily have kids stop making big messes the last hour, or half an hour, before they get picked up. Both could improve and thus it is either a NAH or ESH. Can't judge one without giving the other the same score, because they share the same flaw.
@@undrhil having worked in day care it's usually a period of about an hour where we wait with the kids until they're picked up. That, of course can vary from facility to facility, but it's usually broad specifically to accommodate the parents' work schedules. And as far as who needs time management, they both do, but the Mom is the one scheduling things such they have to be out the door right after. Sasha did what she could to accommodate, but there isn't much she can do more than get her ready when she has forewarning. The question is does this daycare have outside facilities? If so they should be playing outside during that time. If not there was nothing more Sasha could have done
First story: op is the A, but the girlfriend should have realized that having those kinds of photos out in public is a ticking timebomb. If her boyfriend found them, then other people could and it was only a matter of time until she was unjustly fired for her previous jobs by "concerned parents" or similar.
I love these good parent stories. I have all the trauma that comes with being an oops baby with a neglectful mom and an abusive , sometimes, absentee, father. These stories fill me with a strange comfort
“I’m TeAcHiNg ThEm ReSpoNsIbliTy” *mom tries to be responsible and not miss appointment* “My lack of time skills is your fault” Mom is not the butt but the other lady certainly is.
I gotta say, Kudos to the dad who took his daughter to the Eras tour. It's expensive and he willingly went even though it isn't his thing. My bio dad took me to see "Dear Evan Hansen" for my birthday a few years ago, and was huffy and annoyed, which tainted the experience. Compare that to my stepdad buying tickets for comiccon and telling me that we could go this weekend, I was elated for my dad to take me to a con! So, Kudo's to the dad for showing interest in his daughters interests.
Taking Care story: it was OP’s mom, whom the kid called, that was undermining the punishment. Right up until she was going to have to admit to her own parenting techniques she used on OP.
"My wife asked me for a mini pizza 'cause she's a princess. I said 'You're not a princess! YOU'RE AN ADULT!' Then I threw the pizza on the ground! I'm not part of your system. Maaaaaan."
Story 3: Look, I worked in daycare. Yes, we teach toddlers some responsibility like helping out to clean up toys. But these are TWO YEAR OLDS! A teacher should NOT be this strict with a 2 year old. Who gives a 2 year old a designated clean up area? She did help some, didn't she? She's not going to get a sense of irresponsibility for ONE TIME. I really wish adults wouldn't put so much pressure on toddlers to act more grown up than they actually are.
Teenagers have their reasons. Those reasons don't always make sense (or are even unreasonable) but they're still reasons. That's why communication is important. It's a rough time period for them. Lets not pretend teens are these mysteries/enigmas we have no hopes of ever understanding. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think teenagers are these misunderstood unapproachable and volatile creatures then that's what they'll become to you.
RSlash, I think you misunderstood the situation for the laundry story. The kid yelled at his mom, OP’s wife, and then the kid called his grandma, OP’s mom who then yelled at OP
UPDATE ON STORY 1: “Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update: Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now. Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us. Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation. Never thought the post would blow up but here we are” Huge yikes, sounds like he’s happy he has financial control over her and gets to move her away from family and friends. Red flags continue to abound, hope she dumps him!!
for your opinion, the fact that they are "considering moving to another state" and "help her financially until she finds a new job," making assumptions without evidence is wrong it may be just me but it seems like he is trying to help her it is only up to her if she decides to leave
@@amazehub3644 It's possible that his intentions are genuinely good and he's just an idiot. However, you have to admit that there are a lot of red flags here: he caused her to lose her job, he's now supporting her, and then he's wanting to move with her to another state. Abusive people often try to isolate their victims and make them dependent on them. This may not actually be that, but it looks pretty sus. However, like you said, we only have that information to go on, so we can't and shouldn't make assumptions.
First story honestly could have occurred with or without ops involvement. Sure he made it happen sooner, but all it takes is one nosy coworker that doesn’t like the girlfriend to do some digging and those pictures would have come up.
S2 I wonder how Husband and Wife managed to estrange themselves so thoroughly from their own families, and then have the audacity to demand more attention from the family that they tried to remove from the picture in the first place. But six kids? Eight counting the og kids? Good lord.
I work in daycare(with the ages of 6yo and under). The only time we delay a kid is when we are checking to make sure the pickup person is allowed to pick up. We will slightly for telling the kid to pick up or finish coloring, but we tell the parent, and most of the time, the kid finishes fast and runs out. One time, a girl did take a while to clean up, and I helped her. Her mom was super understanding. Most parents are cool about it unless they are in a rush to get somewhere. Then we just tell the kids to skip clean up.
First Story, YTA: How do u "accidentally" share a thing about ur girlfriend? All of this could’ve been avoided if OP kept his mouth shut and didn’t saying anything to anyone. OP shouldn’t be surprised if either his girlfriend leaves him, never trust him again, or both Second Story, NTA: This guy tries to deny OP grandparent access and expect them to do anything for him? Lmao yeah good luck with that. Also, the fact he moved on 8 months after his wife died speaks so much volume Third Story, NTA: I agree with Sasha, OP's poor planning shouldn’t warrant her to get special treatment. OP is teaching her kid to not finish what she starts and that other people will finish for her. I get if it was an emergency Fourth Story, NTA: So OP's sister can be toxic and rude to OP in front of his daughter, but when OP does the same thing OPs an asshole? No, she brought this on herself. She outright insulted OP's daughter to her face Fifth Story, NTA: The punishment fits the crime well. This kid needs to learn this now before it gets worse Sixth Story, YTA: OP you’re a major buzzkill. Why act like this to her? "Eerily acting like a kid" this is not eerie at all lmao. It isn’t hard to play along
he should not have blabbed to his mates, he is a dick for that, but it was bound to happen, all it takes is one kids father to google her and the wife to find the search history or something. the fact that they actually fired her for it means the photo's must have been public.
@@timoborri298 without seeing the pictures we cannot determine if they are unreasonable. if they are artsy nudes an argument could be made, but if they are borderline or strait up pornographic there would be way less of an argument. not to mention, even if they are tasteful, the second it got out you know there are going to be a bunch of fat 40yo Karren mums that are going to be jealous and cause problems for the school all because 'Ohhh, won't somebody please think of the children!'.
Story 2: NTA, The deadbeat of a father is just neglectful and doesn't wanna man up and be a parent. He's a fuckin bachelor player that now has responsibility knocking hard on his door, and it's easy to discern what probably happened to his side of the family and his ex wife's to cause a disconnect. My mom had six kids (the two eldest are 10+ years older than me) and she was single for half my childhood (abuse and trust issues). The two eldest moved out before they were 18 (I think) and even then, my mom struggled to feed her four kids, would starve herself to fill our bellies, from what I heard once, I heard my step-dad say he saw us outside a Walmart once begging, I guess I was too young to remember. Beside the point, my mom worked very hard to keep us fed, she truly loved her kids and she tried hard to raise us. In a way, I can see that she failed but she tried her very best, with love. In another perspective how I see it to compared to this story, if my mom can try and barely succeed, this man can definitely do it. Men are more prone to deal with stress and move on, this dude just needs to stop raw-dogging women and self-reflect on how his actions heavily impacted his lifestyle. In short, and I hope the father sees this comment, Man up and stop being a crybaby bitch. your family may have disconnected, but at the very least, you can try to reach out and ask for some guidance rather than beg them to spoil your kids. If you don't want so many kids but want to keep fooling with women, put on a rubber or snip your balls. Pizza Princess Story: Definitely The Asshole. OP says his wife playing with his kid (her kid too dumbass, don't disregard that) feels weird. Other than it simply "feeling weird" OP, what's the problem? And to say to your wife she's "not a princess, she's an adult". I dare you to say to your child that she's "not a princess, she's a child". I'll bet my pizza money that you won't say it. Stop being a buzzkill and treating your wife like she's lesser than you, fuckin dick.
r/slash I love your videos. I'm so thankful to you cause you made me feel less alone in a moment when my depression was really hard and I had no friends. so yeah, thank you for everything, hope you're having a great day ❤❤
Story 1: all Op needed to do was to either not tell the one person who couldn’t keep a secret or not tell anybody at all, but he ruined his relationship because he failed both of those lol.
First story: Well, it was always a chance that if you start your career as a nude model, then decide to switch to being a teacher, those photos might possibly pop up again someday. And OP was bound to want to talk to one of his friends about her having hidden this from him. If OP’s girlfriend had just found out that *he* used to work as a male nude model, I’m sure she would have discussed that new discovery with a friend too. It’s unfortunate that the "friend" in this case couldn’t be trusted, but if the images are out there, and OP was able to find them on Instagram, then certainly one of her students could have found them too. It’s sad that the school decided that she couldn’t continue working there, but the only way for this not to have happened would have been to have never had those photographs published in the first place, especially if she knew she wanted to be a teacher. That’s the chance she took. Kids are always told to be careful what you upload on social media; she should have done the same. In no way did OP say anywhere in his post that he decided to deliberately disseminate those naked photos of his girlfriend to all and sundry, in a conscious attempt to maliciously ruin her teaching career. He didn’t do that at all.
I think Rslash misread the story about the dad making his older son take care of his younger son for a week. He's sending his WIFE to Mexico, but telling his MOM off for undermining him.
How can they fire OPs GF for something that happend before her employment and that is totaly unrelated to it? I would sue for wrongful termination, since there was no reasonable cause for it
Bro wtf. Despite my thoughts on modeling, imma just say that the school board is a L, and why not talk with her about it and figure out a way to get the pictures removed if you’re THAT uncomfortable. So boyfriend is also a L. Smh.
Likely, she doesn't have the rights to those pictures anymore. Either way, the school really shouldn't have fired her for what she chooses to do during her personal time. You can't be "unprofessional" if you're not working.
They could have just asked her to delete them, that's ridiculous. What's even more absurd is that they are usually legally required to do a background check on employees before hiring them.
added context to the last story: the reason OP lashed out is because his wife isn’t just pretending to be a princess while playing with their child. it’s carried on past that and to other every day activities. including nighttime activities if u know what i mean. so yeah, he seems like an asshole based just on the story, but he’s actually lashing out because his wife is being weird as hell.
That's what I thought was happening. Cause why else would OP be so upset. Obviously she has a DDLG kink that she has come to embrace recently. Which is fine but any man who doesn't have that kink is going to be super creeped out by that kind of behavior. And you have to talk about it. That is a serious kink and a rather crazy one. Kinks like that are kinks you cannot just spring on someone. Ever.
It wasn't the kid's mom he called up, it was op's mom the grandma. So, we can't say the wife had a problem with the punishment. Unless I missed the conversation with the wife.
Honestly if I was *yelling* at my mom for not having time to do the laundry, I would be six feet under. I would be slapped so fast and so hard I would be flung to next Tuesday
For that last story I find it funny that the only way to talk to someone about their perception that other people act like children is to talk to them as if they were a child lol
Daycare Story: The daycare lady said poor planning on OP's part? Lady, if your business has a set time for pickup, then you need to have the kids ready by that time. Parents have other things to do, and you can't hold their kids. Have the kids start cleaning up half an hour before, and do something clean while they wait for the parents.
for the taking care story: its likely his friends at school causing this behavior, its fairly common for them to hear how another peer treats their parents and thinks they can do the same.
Story 5: this dad is AWESOME!!! Such a fantastic punishment, make the son LITERALLY feel his mom’s burden for a week. ETA but big agree with RSlash, dad needs to find the root. And your questions make me agree - grandma and maybe mom let the son walk all over them.
I think you misunderstood the situation in the Taking Care story. OP sent his wife on a trip to Mexico. Then, his son called OP's mom - meaning, the son's grandma. It wasn't the wife undermining OP's parenting. It's just a grandmother who wants to coddle her grandkid, only to be reminded of her hypocrisy when OP mentioned how much he got punished by her when he was a kid.
rslash misunderstood the second last one, the son called the grandmother, not the mother. OP did the prefect punishment. At the title I thought it was going another way 'OP leaving town for a week and leaving them alone'
Story 2: the parent is absolutely in the wrong but the grandparents COULD at least try to get to know the other children. Their parents actions arent their faults, and if they truly have nobody else, that must hurt a lot, especially to see their step/half siblings (?) receive that love. Blood relationships arent everything, yall.
Rslash talking down to the OP in the last story: "I don't REEEAAALLY think I'm an airplane when I play airplane with my daughter...you get that, right???" 🤣
Daycare story: as someone who's worked in multiple daycares and known home daycare providers, Sasha's the one with the poor planning problem. At my place, an hour before general closing time, every kid stops what they're doing and cleans up, sits in front of the TV (or with a book they can put away easily) and waits for their parents to pick them up. If you have a kid and you know generally when the parent comes for them, you discourage them from getting into any big messes around that time. And if an emergency happens, and a parent shows up to pick up their child right then and there, then that child gets to leave, because The Parent is the one Paying You For This Service. Sasha cannot whinge about the parent undermining her authority because she Literally Does have less authority over a child than the Child's Parent who is Paying Her to provide a service. NTA, I hope OP of that story finds a more experienced daycare to take care of her kid.
first story update: Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update: Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation. Never thought the post would blow up but here we are sounds abusive whether he knows it or not...
That still doesn't make him sound any better, and seriously saying she'd be alone if she dumped him that doesn't sit well with me. He's basically saying she's forced to stay with him even though he's the one who ruined her career possibly permanently.
I was thinking that the unfortunate part is that those photos are out there. Therefore they are a threat to her future jobs whether or not she is with him for someone else can find them too. The other thing is that she took those photos before she was employed for her job, not during, so should they really have an impact on it in the first place? Can lingerie models not seek other employment later?
@@javaman7199 The problem is that a lot of professional people, especially men, assume she is still doing it currently. It really sucks for a lot of women because there are people that like to dig for stuff.
First story: personally I wouldn't want someone like that teaching my kids. Yes, your past definitely affects your future, whether you like it or agree with it or not. Imagine Sasha grey trying to teach your kids math. No thanks.
The girl dad/boy mom thing reminded me of my childhood. I had the same situation, my dad had two daughters and he was thrilled! He loved having daughters, never wanted a son, and yet I'd hear comments like what OP's sister said growing up. "Oh too bad your dad doesn't have a son" or "your dad probably doesn't love you like he would if you were a boy". Sometimes from kids, sometimes from adults. It messes with you! I spent so much of my childhood trying to be the "son" he apparently was missing. Eventually we talked about it and he reassured me that he wouldn't change a thing and loves having daughters, and I'm so grateful he did. Good on OP for calling out his sister, kids don't need to hear comments like that.
***Updated comment, read the ETA at the bottom*** Dabney, you dropped the ball on the Daycare story. OP said that she texted that she was on the way as she usually does and then Sasha still insisted on OP's daughter cleaning up instead of her being ready to go. Not only that, but Sasha is the one that sent the text with the "poor planning" meme, not OP. Those two things combined make Sasha the AH. OP provided notification that she was on the way so that her daughter could do her cleaning part and be ready to go, it's on Sasha to follow up on it. Also, since OP had developed a history of usually not yanking her daughter away until after her daughter had done her share of responsibilities, Sasha could have shown some leniency when OP said that they had to get to an appointment. Sending OP that meme message was inappropriate at best. The only thing that could have OP being an AH is if she failed to notify Sasha (during drop-off) about having an appointment. If she did, then Sasha had absolutely NO ground to stand on at all, even if OP hadn't sent a text message when on the way. Otherwise, OP would be a bit of an AH for not providing Sasha with the information so she could make sure OP's daughter would be ready or a step away from being ready (just put a book away for example). It still doesn't excuse any of Sasha's behavior though. ETA: I read the story and found some of her comments. OP was getting delayed by different things, including her car not starting and delaying her by 45 minutes. So if she didn't text Sasha, then she's mostly an AH because she had plenty of time to text Sasha to ask that her daughter be ready to go as soon as she manages to get there. However, since she was running late in general, Sasha should also have considered the possibility that OP might have forgotten to text ahead and gotten the daughter to do her fair share of the cleanup sooner. You can read this specific comment (OP mentioning the running late and car not starting) by Googling for this text: jd4y35k
I had to re-listen, my brain interpreted "until today" as " I texted her ahead of time, until today." I was thinking "If you didn't send the heads up, you are the AH." But if she *did* send the heads up, and it was ignored, Sasha is the AH.
While I agree with this and Sasha is absolutely astounding, the idea that Sasha is even in a position to show leniency is hilarious to me, she's not the parent. OP is the parent. She's literally being paid to cater to the parent's schedules. She needs to have the kids do a different activity when parents start showing up, like the reading thing.
OP said they USUALLY send a text a few minutes before arriving but failed to specify if they sent one that day. With the use of usually and the explanation that the day was hectic I assume OP didn't send ome that day. In my opinion that makes OP the AH. To add to that, it is often expected of parents to set aside time for the pickup as it is gentler on the techer and the kid if the transition is not too hasty. If there is anything the techer or parent needs to be informed about, the time is used for that too. On OP's description it sounded like this was not an isolated occurrence either. All in all, I'd say OP is the AH or possibly just NAH.
Last story has more information:When OP was asked if the wife plays princess other times other than with the daughter, like passionate hugging times he said yes. Even when he has asked her to stop repeatedly because he wants to do something else. I agree if she was just playing pretend with the daughter this would make him a massive jerk. Sounds more like what was going on behind closed doors spilled out into the daughter's playtime with the nervous laugh from the wife and what OP didn't want to have to explain to their child.
I went back and read a lot of OP's replies, and he doesn't even say that she was doing it while they were passionately hugging. Someone else said they thought OP meant that when they said she was doing it outside of playing with the kid. In fact, OP gives NO examples of what her continuing to "Act like a princess even when they're not playing" actually means. All he DOES say is, in a different thread actually, that his issue is her voice, her outfits and her acting. Made even worse is the fact that NONE of the information that would make his reaction even remotely more understandable was even included in his original post. No talk at all about her continuing the behavior outside of playtime, but says it's been going on for months. Can he provide ANY EXAMPLES of what it is she's been doing? No, he doesn't provide a single one. So it definitely isn't a good look if you're trying to make people believe you didn't just start making up excuses because the votes were against you.
Honestly, it feels like OP doesn't believe in play pretend, like he wants both his wife and daughter to be involved in these fantasies and stick with reality. Honestly, I would compare play pretending games to video games, both are meant to help escape reality, roleplay as something they're not and have fun with it. I actually think OP is ageist because it seems like he believes that once you're an adult, you start acting like an adult and never a child again, even when you have kids.
Person in the first story deserves a worse score, honestly. That woman is likely never going to get another job in her field because this guy couldn't keep his mouth shut. He effectively locked her out of her career because he felt insecure.
It’s not the husband wife who called him it was his mom. The husband sent his wife on vacation and his son call his grandma trying to get out of punishment.
Came here to see if someone pointed this out
Yes that’s how I understood it too
Yeah, I think Rslash just got confused on that one.
If you actually listen to the context, he was talking about OP's mom the whole time, and just accidentally misspoke at the beginning of his sentence.
Thank you
I feel this needs to be shared more broadly.
Bad news for story one: OP made a comment to provide an update:
- He and Sarah are still together because she is financially dependent on him
- They're planning to move to another state
- OP clarified that he found the pics on an alt account, not her main one
It was rightly pointed out that moving Sarah to another state would further isolate her, which is also a red flag for abuse.
That's so sad 😢
I am so glad somebody made this post.
@@TiffWaffles tbf, I'm not the only one to post this info, most likely just the most recent.
Abuse for what?
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 bro he literally made her lose her job and would likely start abusing her since she can't get a career now
Who wants to bet that the dying wife highly suspected the existence of husband’s side piece before her death and that’s why she asked that of the grandparents?
Yea, it struck me as odd that she'd accuse her own husband of trying to erase her when she's gone. She had to have known, even if just in her gut.
I’m wondering if the baby that the new wife was expecting when he moved her in was really his.
Absolutely! Remarried within 8 months to a pregnant woman screams cheater.
It's funny how we all assume that when a partner dies after being sick, that they had a good/ close/ healthy relationship. She obviously didn't trust her partner and the fact another woman moved in with them only 8 months after his wife's death is definitely odd- agreed- he was seeing her already the wife knew he couldn't handle being alone..then the new woman has a baby and is pregnant from 2 different men (who obviously were never in the picture) - also odd...then in 10 years they had 4 more kids AND no relationship with hubby's family or new wife's family - again very strange.... something does not add up
@@kalifogg6610 Oh, I absolutely believe that. The "stepsiblings" are half-siblings.
That poor woman, knowing all of that while dying (or at least suspecting something was up).
"raising boys is so much easier" so what she means here is that she is not and will not put in the effort to understand her son and help him when he struggles
Sons plural she has 3
Yeah it’s really giving “I’m so glad my kids don’t feel comfortable expressing their needs and feelings to me so I don’t have to deal with that”
Yeah it's really giving uninvolved parent because why is she so irritated with her neices excitement
@desperate need of scotch All the struggles of growing up including understanding your body, sadness from rejections and all of the failures a kid needs to grow. The struggles of taking a class that he can't really understand despite putting effort in, and trying to figure out what he enjoys in life so that he can find happiness and fulfillment later on. All of these things are what a kid struggles and needs assistance in, and while some can parent themselves through those challenges, it's much easier with a trusted parent to guide you through it all. His parent seems to prefer not being the guide and probably just expects the kids to do their own thing and grow on their own.
That mom: "Emotionally bonding with my child? BO-RING!!! I'm raising boys who learn how to crush down their emotions like REAL MEN!"
That second story is one of the few instances where a grandparent getting grandparent's right was absolutely a good thing.
The more I look into it, the more I learn that "Grandparent's rights" are not the rights of the grandparents to have access to grandkids, but Children's rights to have access to their grandparents. It's for the maintaining of healthy relationships for children, not for a grandparent to force their way in.
The Daycare Story: Does OP not pick up her daughter at the same time every day? I feel like the teacher should be winding down the big activities as pick-up time approaches. So the poor planning thing applies to her as well.
Yep messing play should be a start of the day thing.
Considering op had an appointment something is a miss. Did op tell her? At the moment I’m on OP’s side because Sasha should not be rude to her clients though text.
Parents hardly pick up their children around the same time more than three times.
@@Dayday-xj3hc It’s not rude to have a boundary and reinforcing it. OP is teaching her daughter it’s okay to break rules.
@@magnolia_cc its one pick up and its because of an appointment. she isnt teaching her kid its okay to break rules and again its not in their contract.
How does someone with no daughters know that raising boys is easier?
Facts
✨SeXiSm✨
this is going to suck to hear, but outside of different gender problems they are about equal unless you have a sociopath, the main difference being if your son knocks a girl up, he is now working a full time job, where as if your daughters gets knocked up congratulations on now needing to raise a kid that's not yours.
@@alidan unless you have the horrible luck of Dahmers parents, it more about how good you are at parenting then if they are a boy or girl.
@@beavis1887 quite a lot of kids are absolute fucking monsters with near 0 way to control them, oh you put them in time out, well now they make your life hell for the entirety of the time out. oh, they want a thing you wont give them, welcome to the next 72+ hour long tantrum.
count yourself lucky if you don't have to deal with this shit, or count my parents unlucky that they had one passive kid and one absolute fucking nightmare of a kid. no amount of good parenting is going to stop a kid who has no real fear of what you will do.
For the fifth story: his mom said that he shouldn't judge her sister cause she just loves her sons and OP shouldn't judge her, but it's totally fine for her to judge him and his daughter and say that hurtful stuff? Screw that! He stood up for his daughter and showed her that he's on her side like any father should!
yes! hypocrisy in its purest form, to be honest op is very soft spoken, if I were in his shoes I will say "well i can't imagine what mom used to feel wile raised YOU, you are a girl after all"
@@dinlupus3196 RIGHT!! Exactly! I agree with you 100%! He could definitely have been harsher and I still wouldn't have judged him for it! Once you comment or goes for someone's kids, all bets are off!
I'm going to say this, because it really is worth stating. That sister? Is most likely neglecting her children.
Despite what people tend to think, raising children in a healthy manner is equally difficult regardless of gender. But it has become culturally acceptable to abandon boys and force them to essentially raise themselves, while girls get either enough attention or coddled. The reason I'm claiming neglect in this case is her blowing up over the idea of waiting in line to get a gift for her kids.
If that, if something as basic as 'waiting in line to get your kid a gift they want' is too much effort for her, one can only wonder at what other things she considers far beneath her.
It's not even as if she is just rejoicing in being a 'boy mum', it's that she flat out thinks that boys are way better. What a disgusting person to voice that weird mindset out loud, and particularly in front of children. She is simply not a nice person.
I agree. Secondly boy are not easy to raise. They're rough and eat a lot. I have a neighbor who have three boys and their food bill is high. I also agree that OP's sister is jealous that she doesn't have a daughter to bond.
The husband in the last story phrased it like she was having a midlife crisis and was roleplaying as a princess for days when she was just playing with her kid and he just freaks out at the first instance of her playing pretend with their child.
If he has an issue with his wife playing pretend, wait until he finds out about LARPers and reinactors
i heard from someone that op mentioned she brought the princess play to the bedroom, and i think that's creepy and changes the story if that is the truth tbh...if that is the case op really should have included that in the original post
Seems like OP has the mindset of once you become an adult, you must behave like one for the rest of your life, even when you have a kid and you want to bond with them. Feels like OP is more ageist than like the Grinch.
For the "Taking Care" Story, I think there was some confusion, it wasn't Op''s wife that was undermining Op's Parenting, it was Op's mother.
Yeah it wasn't his wife it was totally his mom that was giving him shit.
I was yelling this at my phone
I noticed R/ often gets a little confused in stories. He mixes up who is who and whatnot. Caught him using the wrong pronoun for ppl a few times(calling a wife "he" on occasion). So I think this is just another one of those times he's a bit confused.
@@rileyv3606 It’s SO frustrating listening to him give OP’s wife shit when she didn’t do anything wrong!
But in the end he says, "your mom made him that way" that makes no sense in continuation of him calling out OP'S wife.
Fourth Story: I’m the end game of shaming girls for being girly. My family (and other factors of being raised in the 90’s - long story) gave me some gender dysphoria. It’s like I was raised to believe that teenage girls were the worst thing on planet earth. I was a Tom Boy anyway but I was shamed out of ever exploring my feminine side. I’m still going to therapy. Don’t do that shit, it’s damaging.
EDIT: Seeing the replies to my comment, I realize now the fourth story may have been the guy who told his wife she's not a princess... I think. My mistake, I was actually commenting more on the story of the lady who was proud of being a "Boy Mom" and shamed her ?niece? for liking Taylor Swift and how the shenanigans with the merch line meant all little girls are emotional and difficult. That triggered me the most. I'm not even a Swift fan but I can empathize. Long merch lines are frustrating, especially when you're young and you're still learning how to manage your emotions.
Also... with the Princess Wife story, SHE IS A TREASURE AND OP DOESN'T DESERVE HER. Aforementioned personal details above, I would have LOVED to play Princess Pizza Party with my Mom. >:( Honestly though... it's not to late for us, I have a little niece who is about 4 and it would make her day.
Honestly I thought OP was playing pretend too........by pretending to be the rude, insecure man baby (with probably some fragile masculinity in the mix) who ruins his wife and daughter's day by bullying the two girls for being, well.. girls! But I know now that's just his real self. OP the a- hole here, he should do some growing up before he tells his wife to grow up.
@@jessicadriver1636 You're mixing up the stories. The 4th story was about the "boy mom" not the guy with a stick up his ass about his wife and daughter playing princess.
@@jessicadriver1636 You're mixing up the stories. The 4th story was about the "boy mom" not the guy with a stick up his ass about his wife and daughter playing princess.
Still.. what do you mean shaming girls for being girly? It's alright if your a tomboy but it doesn't excuse you to doing the same and bullying others for wanting to dress more girly. Like I hate that it happened to you though. But if your not saying anything like that then I'm sorry. I've had my own issues with people who hate gender stereotypes and then try to make others fit a totally new one and then got yelled at for not doing so.
@@Twinklethefox9022 they said they're the end game for shaming girls for being girly, cause the abuse line ends with them (they're not gonna continue the cycle they received from their parents).
rSlash hit the nail on the head on the boy mom story. I'm pretty sure OP says somewhere in the comments that the sister used to really want a girl, but it never happened for her, and that's when her personality changed.
I'm shocked that OP's sister didn't want to "trade kids". If her son and his daughter where close to or are the same age and she could have gotten away with it or thought that she could.... but it sounds like she couldn't for one reason or another.
Overcompensating her love for her sons turned toxic
Daycare Clean Up: I'm a daycare worker. We try to get the kids to clean up at least something from what they were playing with before they go home (i.e. put your chair away if it's snacktime, put your blanket away if it's naptime, clean up X amount of toys from the area you were in) just so they build that habit. But it's never 100% enforced bc the kids are excited to see their parents. Sasha gets 4/5 bc she's being ridiculous. This was a great opportunity to teach the other kids how to help a friend when an "emergency" happens, and instead she may have just lost money over a single small incident. OP, I hope you can find a new daycare bc I would not trust Sasha to not mistreat your child now.
Story 6: I was ready to agree with OP because he made it sound like she was literally acting like a child. But he challenged her once and she immediately stops? She was just having fun with her kid, what a psycho.
Isn’t it okay to act “childish”? /gen
We're also not told if this is the first time this has happened or not. It is possible that the wife is always playing pretend with the daughter and demanding that he cook for them. There are plenty of parents that use playing with their children as an excuse to avoid being an adult the majority of the time, expecting their "partner" to be responsible for everything (often in addition to working full time while the childish parent is a stay at home parent).
@@Brigand231 you are right, we we weren’t told, so you shouldn’t be elaborating on an assumption you just pulled out of your ass.
Lol, our reaction was "there is only one correct answer! 'You're not a Princess, Honey. You're the Queen, and of course I will make you a pizza!' with a flourish and over dramatics (and stealth fancy chocolate later)" ... Clearly this OP has lost his sense of fun and is just a grump who always "acts his age" - can't drink cocoa, only coffee as dark as his attitude...
@@Brigand231 That still makes no sense. Because if it was a recurring issue, then she'd throw a massive fit about being told no. She basically just said 'ok' and let it drop. The only one with an issue here, is OP.
I think thats the first time I've EVER heard of Grandparent rights being used as it was meant to be used. For the actually benefit of the kids.
RIGHT?!?!
Op:Finds explicit pics of his girlfriend and talks to her about it.
Her:I stopped doing it after I got a job as a teacher to prevent myself from getting into trouble.
Op:Gossips. Is shocked when wife does in fact get in trouble.
Also R/Slash, I think you misunderstood the kid yelling at his mom about laundry story. The wife wasn't undermining anyone. Op was called by his own mother, not the wife. It was OP's mom upset about her grandchild being punished
They aren't married they were boyfriend and girlfriend, hopefully now ex, because this was the worst, actually if they were married to each other I don't know if it was to bad, but the fact they are dating make the situation a lot worse.
@@DarkHeartTheEmo Sadly, they didn't. In a comment where OP provided an update, he explained that because he ruined her career, Sarah is financially dependent on him and they were planning to move to another state. He also explained that the pictures he found were on an alt account.
He was rightly condemned for basically trying to take Sarah away from her support system.
@@andredunbar3773 .......That's so fucked up
Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update:
Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation.
Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
If you actually listen to the context, he was talking about OP's mom the whole time, and just accidentally misspoke at the beginning of his sentence.
Fourth story: I think telling children that their interests, their behaviour, i.e. their pure existence is a burden is among the worst things you could say to a child.
Daycare worker is 100% the A in this situation. As a teacher, it’s not hard to make sure the kids aren’t getting into something complicated right before the end of the daycare/school day. She accused the mother of poor planning when actually it was the daycare teacher’s poor planning. You don’t delay pickup unless something major happens, it’s a pretty simple concept.
OP stated they don’t pick up their child at a scheduled time. OP should have informed the teacher in the morning of the planned pick-up time if the appointment was so important. That way the child would have been ready well before she go there.
Glad I'm not the only one who saw this
Yes, I spent five years working at a daycare center, by the time parents started to pick up their kids all the big stuff is put away and we were doing smaller activities. Reading a story, playing on the playground, singing songs, everything major was already cleaned up.
First story: YTA. You told a friend who you KNOW is a huge gossip, and now your GF's reputation as a teacher might be seriously tarnished.
Don't be surprised if she leaves you.
Second story: NTA. It's your choice whether or not you see your former SIL's kids as your grandkids.
Also, I'm betting Joy knew that her husband was cheating on her.
Update
Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update:
Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation.
Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
Update
Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update:
Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation.
Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
OP's girlfriend got fired from her position as a teacher. Did you have a chance to read the post on AITA, yet? Is it ever a damn doozy. Especially OP's comments.
@@TiffWaffles he's an abuser.
@@destinedtogame yeah. The GF should have gotten out of there ASAP
Story 4: What the hell did I just read? OP's sister literally heard a story about her niece (OP's daughter) at a concert, having the time of her life, and totally shot her down. OP was right to stick up for his daughter. I also agree with rSlash that she's saying this kid's interests and hobbies are a burden. I'll bet the farm that secretly she feels the same way about the interests of her three boys. We don't know how old her boys are, but what is she going to do when they start developing their own interests and hobbies? What is she going to do when they want to go to concerts and events? If she's this dismissive with them as she was with her niece, she's going to find out how difficult raising three boys can be.
Wouldn't it be ironic if one or more of her boys became Swifties?
Imagine being a teenager sharing something really exciting with your family and your aunt basically tells you that your existence is a burden
@@radhiadeedou8286 When I was growing up in the 1980's/1990's I wasn't a strictly "girly-girl". Sure I played with dolls and such. Pink was my favorite color as a young girl but, that was a phase that I grew out of! I wasn't too girly though, to join in when my youngest cousin was playing with his TMNT action figures and wanted me to play with him or to collect baseball cards! I'd throw around a football with him too! Sure my Mom enjoyed it when she could put me in frilly dresses(there was a time I actually loved wearing dresses, a phase that I outgrew as well) and there was a time I was excited about using make-up, until I realized as a teenager, with my sensitive skin that it clogged my pores and gave me horrible acne! However, once the event that required me to be "dolled up" was over, I was quick to change into something that I wouldn't get into trouble if I got it messy! I'd be quick to wash what little make-up I was wearing off my face and treat it so my pores wouldn't clog! Usually play clothes! Or when I was older t-shirt/shorts in the summer and jeans/sweatshirt/turtleneck in the fall/winter/spring!
Fourth story, OP's sister openly insulted his daughter and his mom is clearly enabling it. NTA props to OP for defending his daughter.
Right? And the grandma had the gall to call him rude, but not her, even though a) she was being rude first and b) far more insulting.
The daycare story. I'm a daycare teacher, spesificly 18 months to 3 years. We never delay the parents picking up their kids unless it was an activity like painting, in which case, we're cleaning up the kids. That teacher is overstepping her bounds, massively. Personally, I'd report her to the state.
Yeah I thought the same : no matter the situation (even the really bad ones sadly), a parent's authority over their kids oversteps easily the ones of the teacher. Like, by just saying "I refuse to give you back your kid", doesn't it counts like some kind of kidnapping situation, lol ?
yeah. story 3: nta. they were in a rush, they didn't undermine anyone, and things being hectic is not poor planning.
She even said, “poor planning on your part is not an emergency on mine.” Who the heck plans car problems that makes them run late?
You're being too severe a little imo. Yeah, she could've been more flexible, but she isn't breaking the law or mistreating the kids.
Up until then, she had been very adaptable and nice. Ruining their business because of one bad interaction would make OP an AH.
I wonder if maybe it’s a Montessori thing? I think in Montessori they have the kids clean up? But regardless they should have the kids done cleaning up by the time pickup rolls around.
Went to check out the story about the man that hates his wife being a princess with his daughter. He must have gotten reamed sooo hard that he deleted the story and his channel.
I saw that story in another channel. He mentions how his wife likes to "roleplay princess" in private with him, if you know what I mean. And this is why he doesn't like to play like this with his daughter, he finds it weird that it overlaps and finds it uncomfortable
@@anaisvillarreal4405 Understandable, but there’s an obvious difference between playing princess with her child, and role playing for her husband. At the end of the day, if he doesn’t like one, he doesn’t get both.
@@scpfoundation8376 wouldn't you find it weird that your wife made the same voices she does in bed, while playing with you and your daughter? I'd personally also feel uncomfortable. That's the issue, it's not the same, but she acts the same.
@Anais Villarreal Oh yeaaa, the update. 😒 I'm not convinced he didn't say that just to put the wife in a worse light so he would be criticized less.
@@sweetsugarystars2378 that's also true, I think most people didn't believe it cause he didn't say it at first, I mean if he had he wouldn't be buried in YTAs
The account was shadow banned so it was probably just a troll in the end
1st story. It's such a classic move for a gossiper to accuse someone else of being a gossiper because they shared the information further. Even though you weren't supposed to share it with them to begin with. I feel like the vast majority of gossipers are in complete denial about the fact that they are actually the problem.
Rslash, you need to go back and read story 4 again. It was OP's mom that called up. Meaning the kid's grandma. She's the one that called up not the wife.
ikr, i was like it's the grandma who was undermining him not the mother :s
Yeah op worded it weird but yeah it's the grandma not the mom thank God someone else noticed this too
@@dustinswiney1474 OP kinda worded the whole thing weird
I understood it just fine and I was just listening, not reading. When Rslash started in on the wife, I was like, “Woah wait wasn’t it OP’s mom?” And I went back to read it and yeah he’s just wrong.
I saw the last story on another channel. In the comments the OP mentions his wife likes to take the princess roleplay to the bedroom. He finds it kinda creepy she uses the same voices and stuff while playing with the daughter and doesn't like to participate. I think that changes the story a bit hahaha
YEAH......That's what I figured was going on. She was putting on a child act in a s*xual context and I think any man would find that super super creepy and uncomfortable (That is, a man who isn't also into that sort of thing. And even then you guys need to talk about it beforehand. You can't just ambush someone with a crazy kink like that.)
Noo not age play omg 🤢 I was really hoping it would've just been innocent playing around
Story 1: "I didn't know this could happen." She literally told you point blank that it could.
Op sucks, but honestly, so does the school. So what she was a former lingerie model? Is she sharing those pictures with her students? Is she doing other inappropriate things with them? No? So then why not just talk to her about it and maybe help figure out a way to get them removed if they're THAT bothered by them?
People have lives before they come walking in to apply for a job, they don't just pop into existence, and sometimes those lives put you in a place where you may have to do something you aren't entirely comfortable with in order to make ends meet.
Plus, don't they do background checks? The fact that she was hired meant they didn't come up in whatever was searched, so what the hell was Op doing 😭
Welcome to the US Education system, where teachers aren't allowed to be human !
Teachers have lost their jobs over having a drink at a restaurant and being seen by one of their kid's parents.
Teachers have lost jobs for stuff on their social media from when they were in college.
And this woman isn't the first teacher to lose her job over something that happened well before her teaching career.
Just one of the many reasons fewer and fewer people want to be teachers. Albeit one of the smaller straws on the camel's back.
@@CSKaras op is not from an English speaking country 🤨
Yeah he gets at least 4/5 Ls. Man really ruined her career essentially on purpose but acts like it wasn’t his fault
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 OP is from the United States, hence the update where he moves her to another state.
@@ericdugdale8585There are other countries in the world that are separated by states besides USA, for example Mexico. In fact Mexico's official name is "United Mexican States".
boymom story: of course raising boys is easier! you can just emotionally neglect them and leave them to their own devices and it's considered absolutely normal behaviour!
exactly this if being a parent is easy ur missing something or doing something wrong
Also what it is. It's just pure misogyny. It's that girls are emotional and girls are drama forgetting that boys have just as much drama as girls do and anger and rage our emotions. And they're dangerous emotions at that. I work with a lot of women in the medical field. And I can tell you right now the most drama llamas in the building are the men. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she isn't prone to toxic ideas like internalized misogyny.
I love r/. I go to bed around this time bc I work night shifts, and this is amazing to sleep to. Calming and relaxing voice with stories to focus on instead of my mind racing about with random nonsense. Thank you rslash for being an important part to my daily/nightly routine.
Same
I watch r/ while eating dinner or working
Every morning on my lunch break 😂
You should try also to listen to North2.
He's the only one who ever got me to fall asleep.
I work nights, get out at the same time that he uploads usually. I almost always listen to R/slash on my way home
I cant stop picturing rslash in a pink tutu with a tiara sitting at a table while his daughter pours him some iced tea from a teapot
first story: YTA, you SHOULD have kept your mouth shut and you DID betray her trust.
Wont be suprised if there is a update saying his girlfriend broke up with him XD
The dude "added context" and Lo and behold...
Abusive cliché LOL player redditor bf.
- Ruined her career and adds that now, she can't dump him because she'd be on the street.
- Says that they're moving state to "have a fresh start" (look up the post, in context, it pretty much reads as "take her away from her support network")
@@hiroshi7025 wtf, that's the worst update...
I hope he is lying to make himself feel better
@Hiroshi yoooo Now that I see that, this seems way more sinister and calculate it. I honestly only think he posted this to AITA Because he was already trying to isolate her even further by acting oblivious and getting the Internet on his side.
Also, I think he already knew that she did laundry modeling in the past ( She says she thought He already knew, Which presumably means that she already told him) But now his egos bruised And hes using this as a vindictive tactic to isolate her even further and control her more because he couldn't control her past.
Stone cold narcissist, that one. He's played this game for a long time.
Yeah op’s an ahole, but why would the gf not private or remove those pics from insta? Also, the school board are among the biggest aholes here… you can be very professional and good at your job while “having a past.”
Story 2: my version of the story:
SIL wanted to force his kids into an entirely new family not even a year after their mom passed away, it's not working and he needs someone to blame so he'll blame his deceased wife's relatives. Because they won't help him manipulate his kids and accepting the new family, and he can't isolate his kid from them because of legal reasons. The only option is to guilt Trip the family in the doing when he won so he can have his fake happy family, and free babysitting because eight kids is a lot for any body and it would be nice if someone could watch all of them every mandated visit so they can have fun.
Rslash, for the sixth story OP meant by “call my mom” he meant as in his son called his grandmother OPs mom. Because why would all his wife punish him as a kid he meant that the son was going to call his grandma to complain.
Up
Dude thank you, i thought i was going crazy😂
Rslash really misunderstood what he was reading
I flew to the comments to see if anyone else noticed lol
@@j-zk6tf wording was a little weird, so understandable mistake
Still needs corrected
You know what else is teaching kids responsibility? Being punctual for important appointments.
You're right except OP literally had car issues, so that was entirely out of her control. Plus OP was doing her best to be responsible and messaging the daycare so her kid would be ready to leave by the time she arrived.
@@Juzokinnie
I wasn't bashing her for that, I was agreeing with OP that she needed to just leave with her kid right away regardless of the scenario.
Yep! Sometimes we have to drop whatever we are doing to take care of something urgent. If someone is having car trouble and needs to pick up their kid earlier than normal, that's more important than cleaning up some toys. Most of the time it sounds like this isn't an issue especially since OP is being responsible by letting them know when she's on her way to pick up her daughter. Daycare usually schedules their day to include enough time for the kids to clean up their activities and they don't plan messy projects at the end of the day.
@@dragonfliesnh4204
Exactly. Thanks for understanding what I meant too, as someone else thought I was bashing OP rather than defending.
@@Richard_Nickerson You're welcome! It can be hard to convey what you're trying to say in text as it's not uncommon for someone to misunderstand. We can't see facial expressions or hear someone's tone or voice when reading texts.
Third story: NTA. Sasha should know something there's no time to clean up. If there's a fire and they have to run for their lives is she going to demand that the kids clean? And besides, she called OP's emergency as "poor planning", as if someone could predict everything that will happen in a day.
And frankly op is right if it's not in the contract we technically don't have to do it.
Hi RSlash, for the Laundry story the kid's attitude is pretty normal for a pre-teen/early teen. My brother, brother-in-law and I are all going through this sudden attitude shift in our oldest sons.
*First OP:* The gossip was out of line for snitching to the school board, but they wouldn't have known about it if OP hadn't said anything. ESH except Sarah.
*Second OP:* OP was fulfilling Joy's wish, which did not include the kids of their SIL and his new wife. Any rift between that family was the SIL's doing. OP is NTA.
Also, eight months?! I'd be surprised if the second wife was not an affair partner.
*Third OP:* LOL at Sasha reprimanding OP. I thought this would a case in which OP was a Karen, but she (?) was being reasonable in texting Sasha ahead of time except for this one time. OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* OP was protecting his daughter nothing wrong with that. Also, OP's right that it _is_ stupid to say boys are easier to raise than girls when they _both_ suck. 😛 OP is NTA.
Also, why do I feel like OP's mom favors his sister over him?
*Fifth OP:* OP handled the situation well; kudos. Hopefully his son will grow out of the entitled phase sooner rather than later. OP is NTA.
*Sixth OP:* I agree with the replies that said OP should've said "You're not a princess; you're a queen!" OP is TA.
Lol at "meanie pants"! Also, the airplane story is adorable 😊
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
(4th) Could just be that OPs mom can more relate to being a mom than being a dad
I just want to add on to the first two stories.
#1 Op knew that one of the people he told was a gossip connected to the school GF worked for which kinda shows some level of intent on his part. He might not have wanted her fired but he certainly seemed to have wanted word to spread around the school.
#2. It's wild to me that the *ex son in-law* thinks his late wife's parents owe him anything. It'd be one thing if they were close and saw each other as family but it's pretty clear they aren't and don't. He's just the father of their grandkids, they hold no obligation towards him.
I was VERY MUCH prepared to give the 5th OP a "YTA" rating hearing the start of the story because I assumed he was going to be leaving the two of them alone together for the majority of the week while he was working. However the fact he's going to be present makes me relieved and I'll give him a "NTA" score.
OP's Son Yells At His Mother, Calls Grandma When OP Punished Son: If the kid could call his grandmother that fast to tattle on OP I'm willing to bet that she's part of the reason the boy has learned this behavior
It's hardly "private" if he found the pictures posted all over Instagram. It's not like they were on her hard drive, they were already on the internet.
Taking Care: OP sent his wife on the vacation. OP's mother, not wife, called OP to complain after the son called her. So, it isn't from the mother/wife. It is the grandmother. So, OP paying for his wife's trip actually has nothing to do with anything, because it is grandma that is trying to undermind OP.
In the day care story, does sasha not know what time OP is going to be picking up his daughter? It sounds like sasha needs to have better time management with the children. It * is * her business.
I think OP needs better time management. Sounds like she arrives whenever and without warning. She said Sasha had no problem having the kid ready when Op gave a heads up. So how is Sasha the problem?
Not necessarily. OP said she was running behind and was not an emergency. With that in mind, it’s all on OP. Sasha and OP had an agreement to cleanup her daughters mess. Unless we know this was a regular pick up time or Sasha was informed of OP being late, OP is definitely the butthole.
@@fdm2155 I say both her and Sasha has time management problems. OP for coming late without warning and Sasha for letting kids makes huge messes right before children are getting picked up, thus delaying parents even more. Sasha could easily have kids stop making big messes the last hour, or half an hour, before they get picked up.
Both could improve and thus it is either a NAH or ESH. Can't judge one without giving the other the same score, because they share the same flaw.
@@SKZCammyCreations Well, OP said they were running late. That implies a set timer for pick up.
@@undrhil having worked in day care it's usually a period of about an hour where we wait with the kids until they're picked up. That, of course can vary from facility to facility, but it's usually broad specifically to accommodate the parents' work schedules.
And as far as who needs time management, they both do, but the Mom is the one scheduling things such they have to be out the door right after. Sasha did what she could to accommodate, but there isn't much she can do more than get her ready when she has forewarning. The question is does this daycare have outside facilities? If so they should be playing outside during that time. If not there was nothing more Sasha could have done
First story: op is the A, but the girlfriend should have realized that having those kinds of photos out in public is a ticking timebomb.
If her boyfriend found them, then other people could and it was only a matter of time until she was unjustly fired for her previous jobs by "concerned parents" or similar.
That’s what I was thinking: she should have taken those photos down a long time ago.
that could’ve been a private account that he he somehow found he still be a hole
I died hearing Rslash say “you meanie pants” at the end
Story 4: hey Rslash, it’s OP’s mother who is undermining OP’s parenting, not his wife.
I have a little 2 year old who loves planes too. Whenever there's one she sees it's "oh! A plane! A plane!"
"She's not wrong, she's just stupid" never sounded so non-judgmental. I like the well-rested & rejuvenated Dabney.
I love these good parent stories. I have all the trauma that comes with being an oops baby with a neglectful mom and an abusive , sometimes, absentee, father. These stories fill me with a strange comfort
“I’m TeAcHiNg ThEm ReSpoNsIbliTy”
*mom tries to be responsible and not miss appointment*
“My lack of time skills is your fault”
Mom is not the butt but the other lady certainly is.
I gotta say, Kudos to the dad who took his daughter to the Eras tour. It's expensive and he willingly went even though it isn't his thing. My bio dad took me to see "Dear Evan Hansen" for my birthday a few years ago, and was huffy and annoyed, which tainted the experience.
Compare that to my stepdad buying tickets for comiccon and telling me that we could go this weekend, I was elated for my dad to take me to a con!
So, Kudo's to the dad for showing interest in his daughters interests.
Taking Care story: it was OP’s mom, whom the kid called, that was undermining the punishment. Right up until she was going to have to admit to her own parenting techniques she used on OP.
"My wife asked me for a mini pizza 'cause she's a princess.
I said 'You're not a princess! YOU'RE AN ADULT!'
Then I threw the pizza on the ground!
I'm not part of your system. Maaaaaan."
The moral of the first story is: loose lips sink ships. And that was one relationship that was sunk by loose lips, and a whole lot more than that.
Story 3: Look, I worked in daycare. Yes, we teach toddlers some responsibility like helping out to clean up toys. But these are TWO YEAR OLDS! A teacher should NOT be this strict with a 2 year old. Who gives a 2 year old a designated clean up area? She did help some, didn't she? She's not going to get a sense of irresponsibility for ONE TIME.
I really wish adults wouldn't put so much pressure on toddlers to act more grown up than they actually are.
"Kids don't yell at parents for no reason"
Wait until your daughter becomes a teenager, rslash
Teenagers have their reasons. Those reasons don't always make sense (or are even unreasonable) but they're still reasons. That's why communication is important.
It's a rough time period for them. Lets not pretend teens are these mysteries/enigmas we have no hopes of ever understanding.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think teenagers are these misunderstood unapproachable and volatile creatures then that's what they'll become to you.
Lol thought the same thing.
Theres reasons to everything, even if they are unreadonable
@@absenttoday7226Exactly, thank you.
RSlash, I think you misunderstood the situation for the laundry story. The kid yelled at his mom, OP’s wife, and then the kid called his grandma, OP’s mom who then yelled at OP
UPDATE ON STORY 1: “Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update:
Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation.
Never thought the post would blow up but here we are”
Huge yikes, sounds like he’s happy he has financial control over her and gets to move her away from family and friends. Red flags continue to abound, hope she dumps him!!
Oh yikes, thanks for the update. I hope she's coasting on his finances while preparing her exit
Yeah, dude knew damn well what he was doing, and is more transparent than cellophane at hiding his intentions.
for your opinion, the fact that they are "considering moving to another state" and "help her financially until she finds a new job," making assumptions without evidence is wrong
it may be just me but it seems like he is trying to help her
it is only up to her if she decides to leave
@@amazehub3644 It's possible that his intentions are genuinely good and he's just an idiot. However, you have to admit that there are a lot of red flags here: he caused her to lose her job, he's now supporting her, and then he's wanting to move with her to another state. Abusive people often try to isolate their victims and make them dependent on them. This may not actually be that, but it looks pretty sus. However, like you said, we only have that information to go on, so we can't and shouldn't make assumptions.
Yikes! "She would be on her own if she decided to dump me"?!?!
The chore punishment story: the kid didn't call HIS mom, he called OP's mom, his grandma
Just a thought
If Op's sister thought that a girl is hard to raise... Then Op's mom must have on every hell of a suffer raising Op's sister.
I cracked up at "You meanie pants!" 😂 Being a dad really suits you, Dabney!
First story honestly could have occurred with or without ops involvement. Sure he made it happen sooner, but all it takes is one nosy coworker that doesn’t like the girlfriend to do some digging and those pictures would have come up.
R/ saying he isn't a airplane is what a airplane pretending to be human would say
S2
I wonder how Husband and Wife managed to estrange themselves so thoroughly from their own families, and then have the audacity to demand more attention from the family that they tried to remove from the picture in the first place.
But six kids? Eight counting the og kids? Good lord.
I work in daycare(with the ages of 6yo and under). The only time we delay a kid is when we are checking to make sure the pickup person is allowed to pick up. We will slightly for telling the kid to pick up or finish coloring, but we tell the parent, and most of the time, the kid finishes fast and runs out. One time, a girl did take a while to clean up, and I helped her. Her mom was super understanding. Most parents are cool about it unless they are in a rush to get somewhere. Then we just tell the kids to skip clean up.
First Story, YTA: How do u "accidentally" share a thing about ur girlfriend? All of this could’ve been avoided if OP kept his mouth shut and didn’t saying anything to anyone. OP shouldn’t be surprised if either his girlfriend leaves him, never trust him again, or both
Second Story, NTA: This guy tries to deny OP grandparent access and expect them to do anything for him? Lmao yeah good luck with that. Also, the fact he moved on 8 months after his wife died speaks so much volume
Third Story, NTA: I agree with Sasha, OP's poor planning shouldn’t warrant her to get special treatment. OP is teaching her kid to not finish what she starts and that other people will finish for her. I get if it was an emergency
Fourth Story, NTA: So OP's sister can be toxic and rude to OP in front of his daughter, but when OP does the same thing OPs an asshole? No, she brought this on herself. She outright insulted OP's daughter to her face
Fifth Story, NTA: The punishment fits the crime well. This kid needs to learn this now before it gets worse
Sixth Story, YTA: OP you’re a major buzzkill. Why act like this to her? "Eerily acting like a kid" this is not eerie at all lmao. It isn’t hard to play along
he should not have blabbed to his mates, he is a dick for that, but it was bound to happen, all it takes is one kids father to google her and the wife to find the search history or something. the fact that they actually fired her for it means the photo's must have been public.
True, but the real bad guy is the unreasonable school board.
Thing is it sounds like he didn’t show the picture just talked about. It sounds like that friend went out and searched for it.
@@timoborri298 without seeing the pictures we cannot determine if they are unreasonable. if they are artsy nudes an argument could be made, but if they are borderline or strait up pornographic there would be way less of an argument.
not to mention, even if they are tasteful, the second it got out you know there are going to be a bunch of fat 40yo Karren mums that are going to be jealous and cause problems for the school all because 'Ohhh, won't somebody please think of the children!'.
@@Masterninja2321he shouldn’t have talked about it period
Story 2: NTA, The deadbeat of a father is just neglectful and doesn't wanna man up and be a parent. He's a fuckin bachelor player that now has responsibility knocking hard on his door, and it's easy to discern what probably happened to his side of the family and his ex wife's to cause a disconnect. My mom had six kids (the two eldest are 10+ years older than me) and she was single for half my childhood (abuse and trust issues). The two eldest moved out before they were 18 (I think) and even then, my mom struggled to feed her four kids, would starve herself to fill our bellies, from what I heard once, I heard my step-dad say he saw us outside a Walmart once begging, I guess I was too young to remember. Beside the point, my mom worked very hard to keep us fed, she truly loved her kids and she tried hard to raise us. In a way, I can see that she failed but she tried her very best, with love. In another perspective how I see it to compared to this story, if my mom can try and barely succeed, this man can definitely do it. Men are more prone to deal with stress and move on, this dude just needs to stop raw-dogging women and self-reflect on how his actions heavily impacted his lifestyle. In short, and I hope the father sees this comment, Man up and stop being a crybaby bitch. your family may have disconnected, but at the very least, you can try to reach out and ask for some guidance rather than beg them to spoil your kids. If you don't want so many kids but want to keep fooling with women, put on a rubber or snip your balls.
Pizza Princess Story: Definitely The Asshole. OP says his wife playing with his kid (her kid too dumbass, don't disregard that) feels weird. Other than it simply "feeling weird" OP, what's the problem? And to say to your wife she's "not a princess, she's an adult". I dare you to say to your child that she's "not a princess, she's a child". I'll bet my pizza money that you won't say it. Stop being a buzzkill and treating your wife like she's lesser than you, fuckin dick.
r/slash I love your videos. I'm so thankful to you cause you made me feel less alone in a moment when my depression was really hard and I had no friends. so yeah, thank you for everything, hope you're having a great day ❤❤
Story 1: all Op needed to do was to either not tell the one person who couldn’t keep a secret or not tell anybody at all, but he ruined his relationship because he failed both of those lol.
First story: Well, it was always a chance that if you start your career as a nude model, then decide to switch to being a teacher, those photos might possibly pop up again someday. And OP was bound to want to talk to one of his friends about her having hidden this from him. If OP’s girlfriend had just found out that *he* used to work as a male nude model, I’m sure she would have discussed that new discovery with a friend too.
It’s unfortunate that the "friend" in this case couldn’t be trusted, but if the images are out there, and OP was able to find them on Instagram, then certainly one of her students could have found them too. It’s sad that the school decided that she couldn’t continue working there, but the only way for this not to have happened would have been to have never had those photographs published in the first place, especially if she knew she wanted to be a teacher. That’s the chance she took. Kids are always told to be careful what you upload on social media; she should have done the same.
In no way did OP say anywhere in his post that he decided to deliberately disseminate those naked photos of his girlfriend to all and sundry, in a conscious attempt to maliciously ruin her teaching career. He didn’t do that at all.
Also she told him she was a lingerie model. I don't think lingerie not being worn promotes the lingerie. I still think the guys a jerk though.
"Just play along you meanie pants" rSlash bringing the heat guys!
I think Rslash misread the story about the dad making his older son take care of his younger son for a week. He's sending his WIFE to Mexico, but telling his MOM off for undermining him.
How can they fire OPs GF for something that happend before her employment and that is totaly unrelated to it?
I would sue for wrongful termination, since there was no reasonable cause for it
Bro wtf. Despite my thoughts on modeling, imma just say that the school board is a L, and why not talk with her about it and figure out a way to get the pictures removed if you’re THAT uncomfortable. So boyfriend is also a L. Smh.
Likely, she doesn't have the rights to those pictures anymore. Either way, the school really shouldn't have fired her for what she chooses to do during her personal time. You can't be "unprofessional" if you're not working.
They could have just asked her to delete them, that's ridiculous. What's even more absurd is that they are usually legally required to do a background check on employees before hiring them.
"Just play along, you meany pants!" Best line ever. 🤣🤣🤣
added context to the last story: the reason OP lashed out is because his wife isn’t just pretending to be a princess while playing with their child. it’s carried on past that and to other every day activities. including nighttime activities if u know what i mean. so yeah, he seems like an asshole based just on the story, but he’s actually lashing out because his wife is being weird as hell.
That's what I thought was happening. Cause why else would OP be so upset. Obviously she has a DDLG kink that she has come to embrace recently. Which is fine but any man who doesn't have that kink is going to be super creeped out by that kind of behavior. And you have to talk about it. That is a serious kink and a rather crazy one. Kinks like that are kinks you cannot just spring on someone. Ever.
"Ah, well emergency on your part BLAH BLAH BLAH" Is one of my new fav quotes now.
It wasn't the kid's mom he called up, it was op's mom the grandma. So, we can't say the wife had a problem with the punishment. Unless I missed the conversation with the wife.
Honestly if I was *yelling* at my mom for not having time to do the laundry, I would be six feet under. I would be slapped so fast and so hard I would be flung to next Tuesday
For that last story I find it funny that the only way to talk to someone about their perception that other people act like children is to talk to them as if they were a child lol
Daycare Story: The daycare lady said poor planning on OP's part? Lady, if your business has a set time for pickup, then you need to have the kids ready by that time. Parents have other things to do, and you can't hold their kids. Have the kids start cleaning up half an hour before, and do something clean while they wait for the parents.
for the taking care story: its likely his friends at school causing this behavior, its fairly common for them to hear how another peer treats their parents and thinks they can do the same.
Story 5: this dad is AWESOME!!! Such a fantastic punishment, make the son LITERALLY feel his mom’s burden for a week.
ETA but big agree with RSlash, dad needs to find the root. And your questions make me agree - grandma and maybe mom let the son walk all over them.
Oh my gosh RSLASH! You're not an airplane, you're an adult!
I think you misunderstood the situation in the Taking Care story. OP sent his wife on a trip to Mexico. Then, his son called OP's mom - meaning, the son's grandma. It wasn't the wife undermining OP's parenting. It's just a grandmother who wants to coddle her grandkid, only to be reminded of her hypocrisy when OP mentioned how much he got punished by her when he was a kid.
Rslash, you are not an airplane, you are an adult. 5/5 bad guys for you
rslash misunderstood the second last one, the son called the grandmother, not the mother. OP did the prefect punishment. At the title I thought it was going another way 'OP leaving town for a week and leaving them alone'
Story 2: the parent is absolutely in the wrong but the grandparents COULD at least try to get to know the other children. Their parents actions arent their faults, and if they truly have nobody else, that must hurt a lot, especially to see their step/half siblings (?) receive that love.
Blood relationships arent everything, yall.
15:45 sounds like Rslash might father a pilot, that’s extremely adorable & incredible
Rslash talking down to the OP in the last story: "I don't REEEAAALLY think I'm an airplane when I play airplane with my daughter...you get that, right???" 🤣
The daycare should just have the kids clean up sooner so they’re ready to go when the need to go
R/'s wife: "Stop that right now, you aren't an airplane!" 😂
That first guy probably ruined her career so yeah he’s not only TA He genuinely ruined that poor woman’s life. Jesus.
Daycare story: as someone who's worked in multiple daycares and known home daycare providers, Sasha's the one with the poor planning problem. At my place, an hour before general closing time, every kid stops what they're doing and cleans up, sits in front of the TV (or with a book they can put away easily) and waits for their parents to pick them up. If you have a kid and you know generally when the parent comes for them, you discourage them from getting into any big messes around that time. And if an emergency happens, and a parent shows up to pick up their child right then and there, then that child gets to leave, because The Parent is the one Paying You For This Service. Sasha cannot whinge about the parent undermining her authority because she Literally Does have less authority over a child than the Child's Parent who is Paying Her to provide a service. NTA, I hope OP of that story finds a more experienced daycare to take care of her kid.
The airplane thing you do with your daughter sounds so _CUTE!!_ 😁 You are an awesome Dad. 👍
first story update: Hello, this has been a stressful day but I do want to provide an update:
Firstly, Sarah and I are still together. I have taken full responsibility for my actions and am doing everything I can to help her financially until she finds a new job. She would be on her own if she decided to dump me so the best I can do is to help her for now.
Secondly, we are still considering moving to another state since I work remotely. It's been a difficult decision, but we both feel that a fresh start in a new environment could be beneficial for us.
Lastly, I wanted to clarify that the photos I stumbled upon were not on Sarah's main Instagram account, but rather an alt account that she had. While this doesn't excuse my actions, I wanted to provide some context to the situation.
Never thought the post would blow up but here we are
sounds abusive whether he knows it or not...
From that characterization, he sounds like a risk in the event she ever dumps him! What's to keep him from sabotaging her next job too?
Nope, still the AH
That still doesn't make him sound any better, and seriously saying she'd be alone if she dumped him that doesn't sit well with me. He's basically saying she's forced to stay with him even though he's the one who ruined her career possibly permanently.
I was thinking that the unfortunate part is that those photos are out there. Therefore they are a threat to her future jobs whether or not she is with him for someone else can find them too.
The other thing is that she took those photos before she was employed for her job, not during, so should they really have an impact on it in the first place? Can lingerie models not seek other employment later?
@@javaman7199 The problem is that a lot of professional people, especially men, assume she is still doing it currently. It really sucks for a lot of women because there are people that like to dig for stuff.
First story: personally I wouldn't want someone like that teaching my kids. Yes, your past definitely affects your future, whether you like it or agree with it or not. Imagine Sasha grey trying to teach your kids math. No thanks.
The girl dad/boy mom thing reminded me of my childhood. I had the same situation, my dad had two daughters and he was thrilled! He loved having daughters, never wanted a son, and yet I'd hear comments like what OP's sister said growing up. "Oh too bad your dad doesn't have a son" or "your dad probably doesn't love you like he would if you were a boy". Sometimes from kids, sometimes from adults. It messes with you! I spent so much of my childhood trying to be the "son" he apparently was missing. Eventually we talked about it and he reassured me that he wouldn't change a thing and loves having daughters, and I'm so grateful he did. Good on OP for calling out his sister, kids don't need to hear comments like that.
***Updated comment, read the ETA at the bottom***
Dabney, you dropped the ball on the Daycare story. OP said that she texted that she was on the way as she usually does and then Sasha still insisted on OP's daughter cleaning up instead of her being ready to go. Not only that, but Sasha is the one that sent the text with the "poor planning" meme, not OP. Those two things combined make Sasha the AH. OP provided notification that she was on the way so that her daughter could do her cleaning part and be ready to go, it's on Sasha to follow up on it. Also, since OP had developed a history of usually not yanking her daughter away until after her daughter had done her share of responsibilities, Sasha could have shown some leniency when OP said that they had to get to an appointment. Sending OP that meme message was inappropriate at best.
The only thing that could have OP being an AH is if she failed to notify Sasha (during drop-off) about having an appointment. If she did, then Sasha had absolutely NO ground to stand on at all, even if OP hadn't sent a text message when on the way. Otherwise, OP would be a bit of an AH for not providing Sasha with the information so she could make sure OP's daughter would be ready or a step away from being ready (just put a book away for example). It still doesn't excuse any of Sasha's behavior though.
ETA:
I read the story and found some of her comments. OP was getting delayed by different things, including her car not starting and delaying her by 45 minutes. So if she didn't text Sasha, then she's mostly an AH because she had plenty of time to text Sasha to ask that her daughter be ready to go as soon as she manages to get there. However, since she was running late in general, Sasha should also have considered the possibility that OP might have forgotten to text ahead and gotten the daughter to do her fair share of the cleanup sooner.
You can read this specific comment (OP mentioning the running late and car not starting) by Googling for this text: jd4y35k
I had to re-listen, my brain interpreted "until today" as " I texted her ahead of time, until today."
I was thinking "If you didn't send the heads up, you are the AH."
But if she *did* send the heads up, and it was ignored, Sasha is the AH.
While I agree with this and Sasha is absolutely astounding, the idea that Sasha is even in a position to show leniency is hilarious to me, she's not the parent. OP is the parent. She's literally being paid to cater to the parent's schedules. She needs to have the kids do a different activity when parents start showing up, like the reading thing.
Sorry, but OP did say that on that day she did not text ahead like she would normally do if they were in a hurry to leave.
OP said they USUALLY send a text a few minutes before arriving but failed to specify if they sent one that day. With the use of usually and the explanation that the day was hectic I assume OP didn't send ome that day. In my opinion that makes OP the AH.
To add to that, it is often expected of parents to set aside time for the pickup as it is gentler on the techer and the kid if the transition is not too hasty. If there is anything the techer or parent needs to be informed about, the time is used for that too.
On OP's description it sounded like this was not an isolated occurrence either. All in all, I'd say OP is the AH or possibly just NAH.
@@nyappychan
Completely hinges on whether the heads up text was sent; imo.
The mental image of Rslash Naruto running with his daughter is hilarious and adorable at the same time.
Last story has more information:When OP was asked if the wife plays princess other times other than with the daughter, like passionate hugging times he said yes. Even when he has asked her to stop repeatedly because he wants to do something else. I agree if she was just playing pretend with the daughter this would make him a massive jerk. Sounds more like what was going on behind closed doors spilled out into the daughter's playtime with the nervous laugh from the wife and what OP didn't want to have to explain to their child.
I went back and read a lot of OP's replies, and he doesn't even say that she was doing it while they were passionately hugging. Someone else said they thought OP meant that when they said she was doing it outside of playing with the kid. In fact, OP gives NO examples of what her continuing to "Act like a princess even when they're not playing" actually means. All he DOES say is, in a different thread actually, that his issue is her voice, her outfits and her acting.
Made even worse is the fact that NONE of the information that would make his reaction even remotely more understandable was even included in his original post. No talk at all about her continuing the behavior outside of playtime, but says it's been going on for months. Can he provide ANY EXAMPLES of what it is she's been doing? No, he doesn't provide a single one. So it definitely isn't a good look if you're trying to make people believe you didn't just start making up excuses because the votes were against you.
Honestly, it feels like OP doesn't believe in play pretend, like he wants both his wife and daughter to be involved in these fantasies and stick with reality. Honestly, I would compare play pretending games to video games, both are meant to help escape reality, roleplay as something they're not and have fun with it. I actually think OP is ageist because it seems like he believes that once you're an adult, you start acting like an adult and never a child again, even when you have kids.
Person in the first story deserves a worse score, honestly. That woman is likely never going to get another job in her field because this guy couldn't keep his mouth shut. He effectively locked her out of her career because he felt insecure.