can I ask...what are you guys doing when you're listening to the pod? commuting? working? eating food? 👀 just wonderin' EDIT: btw we're hiring a pod producer!! come thru come thru ~ jobs.thepublishpress.com/job/1538159-podcast-producer-joy-of-missing-out-joy-of-missing-out-podcast
I'm actually not even doing other things, just watching and listening to the two of you with the biggest grin on my face because of how amazing and inspiring you both are
Eric, I don’t necessarily resonate with the way you described your experience trying to make friends in the past, but it does make me think back to the outcasts in high school and earlier that I didn’t make time to hang out with but were most likely just socially under-developed at the time and in many cases turned out to be perfectly normal and cool people. We don’t really become ourselves until our late 20’s at the earliest, imo. Our friendships made during our formative years are as a result of proximity, mainly. I can relate to roommate/friend struggled that Chloe described. I grew apart from some friends due to similar situations, and I think the issues stemmed around being in our early 20’s and broke.
Found the segment about people who “don’t have much going on” a little pretentious. Everyone has different goals for their life, just because their goal isn’t to be on the Forbes 30 under 30 list doesn’t make those people any less worthwhile to have a friendship with. Honestly, it’s important to have a variety of friends to ground you in real life and not just exist in a bubble.
This! I won’t say anything wrong with how she thinks considering how her choice of friends and environment have been or were. Honestly it’s a normal thing especially if your family isn’t able to or you aren’t close with family. My friends do it all the time and it’s no problem. That is to say that you also reciprocate the gesture
Some people's idea of friendship is *being there for someone whenever they need*, but that seems like a turn off for them. It's weird for me to see a podcast talk about friendship in a way that is completely different to the way I view friendship.
Honestly you’re totally right! I think I’m going thru a hyperfocus era and was surrounding myself with that kind of energy, so when I meet people without it, I stop in my tracks. This was a moment where I didn’t have a clear answer and I paused and reflected on what that approach in life means to me. It was a great moment of taking an honest look at my biases. I do think those people in my life treat me with nothing but love and support, which I find so rare and beautiful. 🫶 Anyways - thanks for the notes of reality and sharing ur pov. Appreciate it!
I can see both sides. Consistency and support are definitely undervalued traits, but I also see their point about not wanting to be stagnant in life and always wanting to grow. I love learning new things, and it's hard to have close friends who aren't interested in trying new things or learning to grow.
Chloeeeee, I'm from the Bay Area and I really wish I could have been your friend back then 😭😭😭 You sweet sweet gal. I'm so sorry you had such terrible experiences with my people up there !!!! Shame on them !!! But I'm so proud of you for not letting them bring you down and breaking free from the toxicity.
ahh hello kimu!! man it was so hard making friends in the bay x_x i think that was a big part of why i left as well. but that's all in the past now! i'm in a much better place and love my friend groups ~~ - chloe
As someone that has been very privileged in the friends department (and honestly didn’t really notice that until recently) I feel so much for the difficult experiences yall have had. I’m only 20 mins in but I already am so stunned with some of the things yall have experienced. Kudos to you for moving through that and being the people you are today!
Really nice honest conversation again! ❤ I agree with the part that when someone is our best friend we gotta go out of our way sometimes to do something for them, even if we don't feel like it. It's not about crossing boundaries, it's appreciating them and showing them our love.
Next podcast episode ideas: - What do you enjoy most about pickleball? - What’s your language level when it comes to speaking a foreign language or multiple foreign languages? - How you felt about your culture as a kid vs adult? - Your first impression when you visited your cultural motherland for the very first time, versus how it’s changed over the years - how would you rank your favorite cuisines and why - the evolution of your fashion styles and what other styles you want to try or experiment with next
That guy was not a best friend he was a narcissist that used you until his next supply came along and he was done with you. What a nasty piece of work! Sorry for that experience glad you had the strength to disrupt his access to you.
damn the hard truth 😭😭😭. “Until his next supply” is a wild way to frame it 😭 but it’s true! I find these types so charismatic, charming and seemingly great friends but lots of great learnings for life here. Glad I’m over that chapter of life 😮💨 - chloe
I'm in my late 20s and I've been struggling with friendships... This pod is keeping me company through my isolation as I navigate relationships and life in general, please keep posting! You two are changing my life, thank you for helping me grow!
Recently found this podcast and have really enjoying hearing these stories from a different perspective. Maybe I’m not as ambitious but the thing about friends who don’t have much else going on really left a bad taste in my mouth. I can understand it to a certain extent because you want friends who have similar values to you but yeaaah kinda changes how I view them
Maybe it was the way they said it that might've struck a nerve, but I think what they mean is they want people who are passionate, who are go deep into their hobbies/interest/curiosities whatever they are! I too get an ick when people "don't have much else going on" because sometimes it has meant that we end up repeating stories often, or we end up gossiping about others, which can feel a bit old at times, or their life is extremely centered on their partner/pet to the point they can't really relate to you (unless you are in the same situation) at all
This is one of my favorite episodes. Chloe’s story reminds me of a similar friendship experience I had, and it made me realize some people have different conflict resolution skills. My life is better when I spend energy for people who show they care and matches the same energy as me. Would love to hear more related stories
I really appreciate this podcast, because I could genuinely tell that Eric and Chloe really appreciate each other as friends, and it's so nice to see that!
Omg im the loyal friend who never has any updates! But in reality I have too much going on and feel like I can’t tell them because I don’t want to “flex”. It’s like an impossible balance
omggg i'm so sorry if it came off negative! i shared this in another set of comments, but i do have a newfound appreciation for people who are truly there. but i also get the flex thing - it's a weird thing to balance as well!
i studied overseas for almost a decade, was recently asked by a relative if i had close friends that i could sit down and have "heart-to-heart talks" while i was there. I just replied "no". didnt think of it much then, but after watching this pod...im prob in the category of nice friends that has almost no updates and just floats around, not really belonging to any group or "clique" at all.. i still mingled around over the years, picking them up from the club after a night of them drinking(sober driver) , agreeing to drive them down for a macdonalds drive-thru at 4 in the morning on a minute's notice, helping people with schoolwork and assignments or whenever they called...but ultimately, i didnt feel that i had a single close friendship i could really talk to. its been 3 years since i came back to my home country after that near decade time spent overseas and at the back of my head i still got the small thought even now of a void, during that period which was a lack of genuine close friendships. Seems to be true, there are those friends that will reply "nothing much" to the question "whats new in your life?" cos i'll be one of them. *self reflection at 4 in the morning* 😅
Omg missed out on the opening/hot drop of last week's episode due to work conferences/kickoffs and just finished this one. I really feel for you guys when y'all go off about people and networking! I absolutely hate the feeling of networking or getting things out of people, or trying to see that I have inherent things to offer as well, and just end up dude bro-ing everyone or going sup big dawg. 🤝💪 I agree that navigating relationships of all kinds gets tricky as you get older. I'm kind of in the same boat as Chloe where trying to please everyone will just eventually drain and kill you, and you have to learn what you're willing to do and where you have to learn to draw a line for people or else you'll just turn into a pile of mush (shoutout to my therapist, we are a work in progress). Honestly would love to hear more about Eric's journeys through dating and online apps, and the adventures he's been on. Wonder if he's also had to deal with the struggles despite being such a catch (pre- and post- friend profile review/revamp). 😉 Oh and then since y'all are both so well connected was wondering if y'all had any further insights between all the groups you guys hang around! Since y'all are involved in multiple spaces do y'all ever experience a loss of self identity and/or being a chameleon that adapts to their social surroundings? 🦎 I hear sometimes that those who go breadth over depth when it comes to people and things can have a difficult time identifying strongly with roots. 🌳
This was the first podcast episode of yours I listened from start to finish. It was very interesting and enlightening! I think adult friendships are inherently difficult and listening to both of your experiences was fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
loved this episode! some podcast topic ideas: tips for younger self; college education: is college worth it?; culture and family: setting boundaries with the fam; mental health/self-care; procrastination/productivity. p.s. would love to be a podcast intern haha
Friendship is such an interesting topic at this stage of life! Fortunately I've been able to keep a close group of friends back in my home city (and can visit often, sometimes listening to the pod during the drive!), but making friends in a new city has been hard (feel like it's somewhat easier in a place like LA but could be wrong!) Also being in tech, I feel like a ton of people around me know people from all the major cities, like Chloe does, but coming from a school where people don't spread out often is tough. I do kinda regret not living on campus too for university, since it's like the last bit before "adulthood" where meeting friends hasn't gotten THAT hard yet... +1 on another comment about love languages as a topic! But also if you've experienced different cities, how you think your environment affects you growing up, making friends, finding opportunities, etc!
It took me a while to find myself and find a group of friends to be around. I even reconnected with old friends I ghosted in the past that were there for me (they werent bad friends and I wasnt bad to them either, I was just really close to ending it and I needed time to be alone). Chloe's traumatic stories of friendships really hit home for me because when I was young I was both the insecure person (just not a good partner for my ex, really selfish in my teens and early 20s) and I was bullied a lot in school. It took a massive break up, and a lot of loss that made me hit rock bottom to change into the best version of myself with the help of therapy, time alone, and detoxing myself from past mindsets to be an empathetic, caring, selfless, and patient person. Btw Chloe's abusive story made my ghetto come out listening about "David", I was ready to pull up for a homie hahaha
I really loved this pod episode. It's refreshing to hear on your perspectives on cultivating friendships. It's something I know I need to improve on to be better
I'm loving this podcast!! Been locked in all the episodes so far and it keeps getting better and better. Eric and Chloe are exactly the type of friends I wished for. Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences because it's giving me so much joy and most importantly healing me!!
Hi!! I loved the episode ❤ I think it helped me clarify some aspects of friendship I’ve been going through recently. Could yall in a future podcast talk about how yall have dealt with confronting difficult conversations with ex friends / toxic situations? I appreciate yall ❤
Damnsss yeah I had a similar childhood, teenage years and college years as Chloe when it came to friendships. Reflecting back I realized it was a mix of familial upbringing causing C-PTSD that left me a high-achieving people pleaser so it attracted certain types of people iykyk Luckily life’s not like that anymore as I learned to rediscover my sense of Self and not to take sh*t from others throughout my 20’s☺️ I felt like the inner work helped me find life-long, lovely friends - just like Chloe and Eric found each other! P.S. As someone who grew up in LA and went to Berkeley, I agree with Chloe’s sentiment - Berkeley kids are different breed and even we don’t like each other LOL
Eric and Chloe know so many people, including so many weird and awful ones, which kept me amazed and entertained throughout the podcast 😂😂 I really love how you two ended the podcast with the wholesome appreciation about each other that balanced out all the toxicity and negative energy 🩵
absolutely adore this ep & so happy that eric & chloe are healthy and affectionate friends!! and for chloe to have kevin as a best friend! 🥳totally get chloe's feeling when friendships sour but then choose to stay bc we start thinking about this that time when they were there for us. i think growing up is not only knowing what friendship we want, but also what we don't want and when to leave! it's like the classic therapist line ~we choose love we think we deserve~ and we all deserve great friends!!
ahh i love that line "we choose love we think we deserve". it's beautiful! i really don't think i knew what that meant wrt love and friendships until many many trials and tribulations after. im also still working through that in other areas of my life - like choosing the life or the story i want to live in. im glad u enjoyed this episode valentine!!! - chloe
wow that's so rare! super cool how you have a core friend group who's known you for almost all of your lives. you've probably all seen each other through so many eras of life!
I love this video, friendship is an interesting relationship and I’ve gone through some of these issues as well. It’s rough, but it makes the friendships worth it 🥰
another great ep!! can you guys do an ep about eric's career journey and how he thinks about his next steps (similar to the one chloe did last ep) and also an ep about money and finances (how you view finances, personal finance tips, how your relationship w money has changed over the years, etc.) - chloe mentioned how kevin helped her w managing personal finance in the beginning of their relationship so would love to hear those tips as well!!
oh yes we have that on our list, but it'll take some time to get there! we've got so many topics to cover haha. re: finances - that's a good topic as well. jotting that down!
the berkeley thing is so very real !!! and this is coming from a berkeley student LOL i am a transfer student and the moment i say that to any biz admin or eecs people the aura of the conversation IMMEDIATELY changes to them looking down at me or excluding me i lowk think of it as a super power to be able to sniff out bad vibes so fine with me! and chloe i am so sorry girl you've had to through such terrible and traumatic experiences. i recently had a coffee chat with one of my co-workers and i told them about being impaitent with my career goals/worried that i'm not good enough and he said to me that "as long as you approach things with a learner mindset and kindness you will get to where you want to be" and i know!!! it's rather simplistic but i think it heavily applies to you! obviously i don't know who you are as a person even though you are sharing a lot about yourself online but i def can sense that you truly approach life from a stance of kindness first and i really respect you for it! thank you for being you despite everything
omgg awww the last bit was so wholesome T^T I aspire to have a friendship as close as you guys. Is it possible to talk about attachment styles, and hobbies?
omg yes we do talk about attachment styles! i think the next episode has a little segment on it. in terms of hobbies... well we both like making these videos haha. eric is a pickleball fiend and reading weird wikipedia facts until 4 am. i love singing and anime!! - chlo
For a future topic, I'd like to know how to stay productive as self employed. It's something I really struggle with, and sometimes I just end up watching TH-cam or playing games all day instead.
awh i would have loved to be your friend when you were in the bay chloe! i think its hard to find friends in adult years. im still really blessed to have a close high school group and some friendships from elementary school. in 2020, i made it a goal to make new friends! it was the pandemic….but crazy that i had online friends turned into true friendships? even lived with a few of them too as housemates and traveled with a few! crazy how life can take us!! it all started from a work study group because i was getting my doctorate but looking for folks in my age range that were also in the same grind - i found people getting their masters or other things from different industries (im healthcare) and it opened my eyes so much!
Can you talk about the hardship of having expectations in life but not reaching them. On the internet you only see people winning all the time but could you if possible share some negative moments and how you grew because of them. Really like and appreciate your podcast :)
oh yes this is a great topic. but i also feel like we talk about a lot of sad negative things on the pod already 😓😓 trying to move towards things that are a bit more light hearted so it's not so heavy! ooh i think we'll do a lessons episode!! like 30 lessons learned by 30 or 33 lessons learned by 33. that would be rooted in stories from failures for sure - chlo
@@jomopod Not asking to make the pod depressing, but just admiring how you both grow from your challenges as people. I first found Chloe from her Discord Termination Reel, and I was blown away how you reacted so positively to such a negative topic
It's truely happy to hear this genuine sharing from you two! I admire your commitment to each other and sharing your vulnerable experience. It makes me think of the way I've been treating my friendship after 30yrs old.. It seems to reflect how I've been treating myself ... a good time for me to think further. XD PS you both look lovely to me now
aww thank you for this kind message, lalafang!! it's been awesome building this friendship with eric over the past 1-2 years. thanks for tuning into the pod as well! it fills our hearts~~ - chlo
This episode kind of came at just the perfect time. I've been living in the Bay for the past 2 years and I do resonate with all of the friendship struggles with the culture differences. I definitely reflect Eric's perspective on finding friends who 1. can be real/vulnerable and/or 2. have something fulfilling they're doing. I respect consistency and I've definitely run into people who don't reflect my values, and it absolutely sucks to have to cut people out.
I can totally relate to this episode! I also used to wish I had a strong group of girl friends, but I’ve just had terrible (toxic) experiences and cut them all off in my early 20’s. I’m 28 now, and my current best friend is just my husband and dogs 😂 I’m happy and don’t feel lonely without having friends, but I always feel like I NEED to have friends for a healthy social relationship (I have a happy marriage, close family, great work colleagues, and social media “besties”). I’m just missing the “real friend” aspect in my life that I used to have when I was younger but I don’t know if I need one or want to force a friendship at my age
Okay, I need a bench now. I never thought of it as a multifunctional item before. I sometimes think I'm a bad person but I have NEVER been that toxic. MY GOD. O__O
For the pod, I want you guys to speak your mind! Talk about whatever is meaningful. Or maybe your experiences in yours 20s are so different than your 30s.
aww thank you vivian! i feel like a LOT of my current community don't really listen to podcasts, so doing this was a huge gamble. thanks for listening ~~ i hope we...do less of the traumatizing topics 😓 this was really meant to be a fun loving weekly catchup between friends, but we get too deep sometimes. i think the next one will be fun!! - chlo
Next pod: - How do you know I'm making the right decision? and what keeps you motivated with the decision you made? - How do you deal with negative emotions in adulthood?
Sorry I didn’t mean to call ya out like that 😭😭 i too think yall are loyal, stable, and hella grounded people. 🫡🫡 thank u for the love you give out in the world and to your friends! - chloe
😔 yeah i think in reality, it was far worse. i was in a really bad state then, but im far past it now! i'm extremely allergic if people have a whiff of this type of behavior. i stay the heck awayyy!! - chlo
Chloe’s toxic coworker crush story lowkey started off like the king George and queen charlotte open hatred hidden love trope 😂 and then it got weird real quick and then I was like ewwwww why are men 😭 so sorry you had to go through that Chloe 😭
hahahaha i mean i'm all for king george and queen charlotte, but NOPE it wasn't like that at all 😓 men be like that sometimes. but all is well now!! - chlo
To be honest! I think David was friends with Chloe so that he could flirt with her friends and her mutual friends! to make real friends I recommend martial arts like tae kwon do!
sorry haha sometimes we redo the thumbnails bc we mess up on the original shoots :< i made a mistake on coloring since i've been trying new color settings. sorry for the confusion! - chlo
Hey Eric and Chloe, you guys spoke a lot about mentors and having people to guide you throughout your careers. I was wondering if you knew any way to find mentors in the creative space as I am determined to achieve the goal of having content creation replace my current work as a SWE.
OH MY GOD that's crazy x_x i did not think anyone from that world would know i was referencing but omg i hope you had a great time in CU gen! i'm still best friends with one of the previous presidents. i loved my first time there! - chloe
bro im so sorry i didn't mean to put ya on blast like that :< i meant to frame it as these people are super grounded, loyal, reliable, and there for you which is extremely rare as well. ive mostly been in a hyper focus era and surrounding myself with similar people, so meeting people not like that has been a new change of pace. sorry if it came off negative!! - chlo
My wife and I are opposites where I am like Eric where I want to hang out and meet new peeps. My wife is like Chloe where she doesn't really have best friends because she is so occupied with goals and personal care. She enjoys her solitude and I enjoy social environments. It makes our relationship dynamic interesting because of the balance of what recharges both of us is different. I have maybe 5 work relationships that turned into really good relationships because I am so personable/real with everyone lol I open up so other feel comfortable. Is Kevin Social or more to himself?
yeah i'm definitely in a hyper-focus "i'd rather be at home on saturday night" era haha. i just have had so many dreams i never gave myself permission to work on, so i think your wife hit the nail on the head! kevin is relatively social. he talks to his boys almost every day haha. they play games a lot. he's def the type of just hang out and play board games or shoot the shit. it's really refreshing to witness how different we are in that respect. i'd say that when i do hang out with friends, but we go mad deep. we cover EVERYTHING. it's a super different dynamic, but i enjoy it! - chloe
@@jomopod Dude same 😅 When we hang out we are getting in deep conversations and covering the nuances of the topics. Surface level convos and small talk is cool for corporate life but not for friendships lol
i think Chloe mentioned she is ENFJ somewhere and that sounds correct to me. Eric has said on his own podcast he doesn't seem to take mbti that seriously but I think he is INTP. For any personality theory nerds out there, a supposed significant contributing factor to their strong friendship is the Fe-Ti connection. and random additional guess is that Kevin is ISTP lol
honestly, we're unsure if youtube will ding the video with the swearing. trying to find the right threshold to work with atm. let us know if you have insight into this too!
All i know is if you guys use profanity without the first 15 seconds, youtube might de-monetize your video and not let you run ads. TH-cam allows creators use moderate cursing like you guys do though so once you get past 15 seconds. You’re good I think😎🤙
The vibe I get from Eric is that he is very thoughtful, really respectful towards himself and others. Chloe does come off as someone who will put people as a means to an end.
I see the flower analogy it's like Naruto what also makes him great is the village behind him. Just like you Chloe you got your hidden leaf. Believe it!! 🥷😂🤓
can I ask...what are you guys doing when you're listening to the pod? commuting? working? eating food? 👀 just wonderin'
EDIT: btw we're hiring a pod producer!! come thru come thru ~ jobs.thepublishpress.com/job/1538159-podcast-producer-joy-of-missing-out-joy-of-missing-out-podcast
I work ... HAHAHA
While I’m cooking, cleaning, laundry lol. When I’m completing a task that takes longer than 5 minutes.
I'm actually not even doing other things, just watching and listening to the two of you with the biggest grin on my face because of how amazing and inspiring you both are
Working while eating food 😊
Gym!!
Making friends is so hard, but when you find a good group or a good friend and they reciprocate that back, you cherish them so dearly!
agreed!! cherish them with all my heart ~
Eric, I don’t necessarily resonate with the way you described your experience trying to make friends in the past, but it does make me think back to the outcasts in high school and earlier that I didn’t make time to hang out with but were most likely just socially under-developed at the time and in many cases turned out to be perfectly normal and cool people. We don’t really become ourselves until our late 20’s at the earliest, imo. Our friendships made during our formative years are as a result of proximity, mainly. I can relate to roommate/friend struggled that Chloe described. I grew apart from some friends due to similar situations, and I think the issues stemmed around being in our early 20’s and broke.
Found the segment about people who “don’t have much going on” a little pretentious. Everyone has different goals for their life, just because their goal isn’t to be on the Forbes 30 under 30 list doesn’t make those people any less worthwhile to have a friendship with. Honestly, it’s important to have a variety of friends to ground you in real life and not just exist in a bubble.
This! I won’t say anything wrong with how she thinks considering how her choice of friends and environment have been or were. Honestly it’s a normal thing especially if your family isn’t able to or you aren’t close with family. My friends do it all the time and it’s no problem. That is to say that you also reciprocate the gesture
Thought exactly the same
Some people's idea of friendship is *being there for someone whenever they need*, but that seems like a turn off for them. It's weird for me to see a podcast talk about friendship in a way that is completely different to the way I view friendship.
Honestly you’re totally right! I think I’m going thru a hyperfocus era and was surrounding myself with that kind of energy, so when I meet people without it, I stop in my tracks. This was a moment where I didn’t have a clear answer and I paused and reflected on what that approach in life means to me. It was a great moment of taking an honest look at my biases. I do think those people in my life treat me with nothing but love and support, which I find so rare and beautiful. 🫶
Anyways - thanks for the notes of reality and sharing ur pov. Appreciate it!
I can see both sides. Consistency and support are definitely undervalued traits, but I also see their point about not wanting to be stagnant in life and always wanting to grow. I love learning new things, and it's hard to have close friends who aren't interested in trying new things or learning to grow.
38:56 full circle moment, from Chloe's key club to Eric's college friend, we need him on the pod now :)
i would love that 🥹 - chlo
Chloeeeee, I'm from the Bay Area and I really wish I could have been your friend back then 😭😭😭 You sweet sweet gal. I'm so sorry you had such terrible experiences with my people up there !!!! Shame on them !!! But I'm so proud of you for not letting them bring you down and breaking free from the toxicity.
ahh hello kimu!! man it was so hard making friends in the bay x_x i think that was a big part of why i left as well.
but that's all in the past now! i'm in a much better place and love my friend groups ~~
- chloe
As someone that has been very privileged in the friends department (and honestly didn’t really notice that until recently) I feel so much for the difficult experiences yall have had. I’m only 20 mins in but I already am so stunned with some of the things yall have experienced. Kudos to you for moving through that and being the people you are today!
Really nice honest conversation again! ❤ I agree with the part that when someone is our best friend we gotta go out of our way sometimes to do something for them, even if we don't feel like it. It's not about crossing boundaries, it's appreciating them and showing them our love.
Next podcast episode ideas:
- What do you enjoy most about pickleball?
- What’s your language level when it comes to speaking a foreign language or multiple foreign languages?
- How you felt about your culture as a kid vs adult?
- Your first impression when you visited your cultural motherland for the very first time, versus how it’s changed over the years
- how would you rank your favorite cuisines and why
- the evolution of your fashion styles and what other styles you want to try or experiment with next
That guy was not a best friend he was a narcissist that used you until his next supply came along and he was done with you. What a nasty piece of work! Sorry for that experience glad you had the strength to disrupt his access to you.
damn the hard truth 😭😭😭. “Until his next supply” is a wild way to frame it 😭 but it’s true! I find these types so charismatic, charming and seemingly great friends but lots of great learnings for life here. Glad I’m over that chapter of life 😮💨 - chloe
Gah Chloe! My heart breaks hearing those stories. Eric’s responses were so spot on and shows what a good friend he is.
I'm in my late 20s and I've been struggling with friendships... This pod is keeping me company through my isolation as I navigate relationships and life in general, please keep posting! You two are changing my life, thank you for helping me grow!
Recently found this podcast and have really enjoying hearing these stories from a different perspective. Maybe I’m not as ambitious but the thing about friends who don’t have much else going on really left a bad taste in my mouth. I can understand it to a certain extent because you want friends who have similar values to you but yeaaah kinda changes how I view them
Maybe it was the way they said it that might've struck a nerve, but I think what they mean is they want people who are passionate, who are go deep into their hobbies/interest/curiosities whatever they are! I too get an ick when people "don't have much else going on" because sometimes it has meant that we end up repeating stories often, or we end up gossiping about others, which can feel a bit old at times, or their life is extremely centered on their partner/pet to the point they can't really relate to you (unless you are in the same situation) at all
Thank you for being vulnerable with us Eric and Chloe! Appreciate you both
awww - appreciate you too!! -eric
I love the energy and good vibes from the podcast!! I would love to hear you guys talk about the art of having a good conversation
This is one of my favorite episodes. Chloe’s story reminds me of a similar friendship experience I had, and it made me realize some people have different conflict resolution skills. My life is better when I spend energy for people who show they care and matches the same energy as me. Would love to hear more related stories
I really appreciate this podcast, because I could genuinely tell that Eric and Chloe really appreciate each other as friends, and it's so nice to see that!
Omg im the loyal friend who never has any updates! But in reality I have too much going on and feel like I can’t tell them because I don’t want to “flex”. It’s like an impossible balance
omggg i'm so sorry if it came off negative! i shared this in another set of comments, but i do have a newfound appreciation for people who are truly there.
but i also get the flex thing - it's a weird thing to balance as well!
i studied overseas for almost a decade, was recently asked by a relative if i had close friends that i could sit down and have "heart-to-heart talks" while i was there. I just replied "no". didnt think of it much then, but after watching this pod...im prob in the category of nice friends that has almost no updates and just floats around, not really belonging to any group or "clique" at all..
i still mingled around over the years, picking them up from the club after a night of them drinking(sober driver) , agreeing to drive them down for a macdonalds drive-thru at 4 in the morning on a minute's notice, helping people with schoolwork and assignments or whenever they called...but ultimately, i didnt feel that i had a single close friendship i could really talk to.
its been 3 years since i came back to my home country after that near decade time spent overseas and at the back of my head i still got the small thought even now of a void, during that period which was a lack of genuine close friendships.
Seems to be true, there are those friends that will reply "nothing much" to the question "whats new in your life?" cos i'll be one of them.
*self reflection at 4 in the morning* 😅
aww i love this friendship and podcast!! thank you two for being so vulnerable and sharing so much of your life with us
thank you emily
Omg missed out on the opening/hot drop of last week's episode due to work conferences/kickoffs and just finished this one. I really feel for you guys when y'all go off about people and networking! I absolutely hate the feeling of networking or getting things out of people, or trying to see that I have inherent things to offer as well, and just end up dude bro-ing everyone or going sup big dawg. 🤝💪
I agree that navigating relationships of all kinds gets tricky as you get older. I'm kind of in the same boat as Chloe where trying to please everyone will just eventually drain and kill you, and you have to learn what you're willing to do and where you have to learn to draw a line for people or else you'll just turn into a pile of mush (shoutout to my therapist, we are a work in progress).
Honestly would love to hear more about Eric's journeys through dating and online apps, and the adventures he's been on. Wonder if he's also had to deal with the struggles despite being such a catch (pre- and post- friend profile review/revamp). 😉
Oh and then since y'all are both so well connected was wondering if y'all had any further insights between all the groups you guys hang around! Since y'all are involved in multiple spaces do y'all ever experience a loss of self identity and/or being a chameleon that adapts to their social surroundings? 🦎 I hear sometimes that those who go breadth over depth when it comes to people and things can have a difficult time identifying strongly with roots. 🌳
This was the first podcast episode of yours I listened from start to finish. It was very interesting and enlightening! I think adult friendships are inherently difficult and listening to both of your experiences was fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
loved this episode! some podcast topic ideas: tips for younger self; college education: is college worth it?; culture and family: setting boundaries with the fam; mental health/self-care; procrastination/productivity. p.s. would love to be a podcast intern haha
Friendship is such an interesting topic at this stage of life! Fortunately I've been able to keep a close group of friends back in my home city (and can visit often, sometimes listening to the pod during the drive!), but making friends in a new city has been hard (feel like it's somewhat easier in a place like LA but could be wrong!) Also being in tech, I feel like a ton of people around me know people from all the major cities, like Chloe does, but coming from a school where people don't spread out often is tough. I do kinda regret not living on campus too for university, since it's like the last bit before "adulthood" where meeting friends hasn't gotten THAT hard yet... +1 on another comment about love languages as a topic! But also if you've experienced different cities, how you think your environment affects you growing up, making friends, finding opportunities, etc!
It took me a while to find myself and find a group of friends to be around. I even reconnected with old friends I ghosted in the past that were there for me (they werent bad friends and I wasnt bad to them either, I was just really close to ending it and I needed time to be alone). Chloe's traumatic stories of friendships really hit home for me because when I was young I was both the insecure person (just not a good partner for my ex, really selfish in my teens and early 20s) and I was bullied a lot in school. It took a massive break up, and a lot of loss that made me hit rock bottom to change into the best version of myself with the help of therapy, time alone, and detoxing myself from past mindsets to be an empathetic, caring, selfless, and patient person. Btw Chloe's abusive story made my ghetto come out listening about "David", I was ready to pull up for a homie hahaha
I really loved this pod episode. It's refreshing to hear on your perspectives on cultivating friendships. It's something I know I need to improve on to be better
I'm loving this podcast!! Been locked in all the episodes so far and it keeps getting better and better. Eric and Chloe are exactly the type of friends I wished for. Thanks for sharing your stories and experiences because it's giving me so much joy and most importantly healing me!!
Hi!! I loved the episode ❤ I think it helped me clarify some aspects of friendship I’ve been going through recently. Could yall in a future podcast talk about how yall have dealt with confronting difficult conversations with ex friends / toxic situations? I appreciate yall ❤
Damnsss yeah I had a similar childhood, teenage years and college years as Chloe when it came to friendships. Reflecting back I realized it was a mix of familial upbringing causing C-PTSD that left me a high-achieving people pleaser so it attracted certain types of people iykyk
Luckily life’s not like that anymore as I learned to rediscover my sense of Self and not to take sh*t from others throughout my 20’s☺️
I felt like the inner work helped me find life-long, lovely friends - just like Chloe and Eric found each other!
P.S. As someone who grew up in LA and went to Berkeley, I agree with Chloe’s sentiment - Berkeley kids are different breed and even we don’t like each other LOL
Really been enjoying this podcast so far! Keep it up and thank you for sharing so many vulnerable stories 🫶🏻
Finishing work, or winding down! The quality is so good, and great topics!
heck yeah!! it's a good transition to wind down from work ~
Eric and Chloe know so many people, including so many weird and awful ones, which kept me amazed and entertained throughout the podcast 😂😂 I really love how you two ended the podcast with the wholesome appreciation about each other that balanced out all the toxicity and negative energy 🩵
absolutely adore this ep & so happy that eric & chloe are healthy and affectionate friends!! and for chloe to have kevin as a best friend! 🥳totally get chloe's feeling when friendships sour but then choose to stay bc we start thinking about this that time when they were there for us. i think growing up is not only knowing what friendship we want, but also what we don't want and when to leave! it's like the classic therapist line ~we choose love we think we deserve~ and we all deserve great friends!!
ahh i love that line "we choose love we think we deserve". it's beautiful! i really don't think i knew what that meant wrt love and friendships until many many trials and tribulations after. im also still working through that in other areas of my life - like choosing the life or the story i want to live in.
im glad u enjoyed this episode valentine!!!
- chloe
And this is why I’m lucky to still have my core group of friends from elementary school even though I only see them once every year or two
wow that's so rare! super cool how you have a core friend group who's known you for almost all of your lives. you've probably all seen each other through so many eras of life!
I love this video, friendship is an interesting relationship and I’ve gone through some of these issues as well. It’s rough, but it makes the friendships worth it 🥰
another great ep!! can you guys do an ep about eric's career journey and how he thinks about his next steps (similar to the one chloe did last ep) and also an ep about money and finances (how you view finances, personal finance tips, how your relationship w money has changed over the years, etc.) - chloe mentioned how kevin helped her w managing personal finance in the beginning of their relationship so would love to hear those tips as well!!
oh yes we have that on our list, but it'll take some time to get there! we've got so many topics to cover haha.
re: finances - that's a good topic as well. jotting that down!
the berkeley thing is so very real !!! and this is coming from a berkeley student LOL i am a transfer student and the moment i say that to any biz admin or eecs people the aura of the conversation IMMEDIATELY changes to them looking down at me or excluding me i lowk think of it as a super power to be able to sniff out bad vibes so fine with me!
and chloe i am so sorry girl you've had to through such terrible and traumatic experiences. i recently had a coffee chat with one of my co-workers and i told them about being impaitent with my career goals/worried that i'm not good enough and he said to me that "as long as you approach things with a learner mindset and kindness you will get to where you want to be" and i know!!! it's rather simplistic but i think it heavily applies to you! obviously i don't know who you are as a person even though you are sharing a lot about yourself online but i def can sense that you truly approach life from a stance of kindness first and i really respect you for it! thank you for being you despite everything
omgg awww the last bit was so wholesome T^T I aspire to have a friendship as close as you guys. Is it possible to talk about attachment styles, and hobbies?
omg yes we do talk about attachment styles! i think the next episode has a little segment on it.
in terms of hobbies... well we both like making these videos haha. eric is a pickleball fiend and reading weird wikipedia facts until 4 am. i love singing and anime!!
- chlo
For a future topic, I'd like to know how to stay productive as self employed. It's something I really struggle with, and sometimes I just end up watching TH-cam or playing games all day instead.
Tuesdays are my new fav day of the week ❤️🔥❤️🔥
Hehe we love Tuesdays as well 🫶🫶 we finally get to hear from you guys ~~
awh i would have loved to be your friend when you were in the bay chloe! i think its hard to find friends in adult years. im still really blessed to have a close high school group and some friendships from elementary school. in 2020, i made it a goal to make new friends! it was the pandemic….but crazy that i had online friends turned into true friendships? even lived with a few of them too as housemates and traveled with a few! crazy how life can take us!! it all started from a work study group because i was getting my doctorate but looking for folks in my age range that were also in the same grind - i found people getting their masters or other things from different industries (im healthcare) and it opened my eyes so much!
Can you talk about the hardship of having expectations in life but not reaching them. On the internet you only see people winning all the time but could you if possible share some negative moments and how you grew because of them. Really like and appreciate your podcast :)
Yesss like the failure resume that Chloe did a lil reel about!!
oh yes this is a great topic. but i also feel like we talk about a lot of sad negative things on the pod already 😓😓 trying to move towards things that are a bit more light hearted so it's not so heavy!
ooh i think we'll do a lessons episode!! like 30 lessons learned by 30 or 33 lessons learned by 33. that would be rooted in stories from failures for sure
- chlo
@@jomopod Not asking to make the pod depressing, but just admiring how you both grow from your challenges as people. I first found Chloe from her Discord Termination Reel, and I was blown away how you reacted so positively to such a negative topic
It's truely happy to hear this genuine sharing from you two! I admire your commitment to each other and sharing your vulnerable experience. It makes me think of the way I've been treating my friendship after 30yrs old.. It seems to reflect how I've been treating myself ... a good time for me to think further. XD PS you both look lovely to me now
aww thank you for this kind message, lalafang!! it's been awesome building this friendship with eric over the past 1-2 years. thanks for tuning into the pod as well! it fills our hearts~~
- chlo
omg i was just catching up on the pod! im loving the content yall
yay!! thanks for listening on day 1 of upload!! it helps a ton!!
This episode kind of came at just the perfect time. I've been living in the Bay for the past 2 years and I do resonate with all of the friendship struggles with the culture differences. I definitely reflect Eric's perspective on finding friends who 1. can be real/vulnerable and/or 2. have something fulfilling they're doing. I respect consistency and I've definitely run into people who don't reflect my values, and it absolutely sucks to have to cut people out.
I can totally relate to this episode! I also used to wish I had a strong group of girl friends, but I’ve just had terrible (toxic) experiences and cut them all off in my early 20’s.
I’m 28 now, and my current best friend is just my husband and dogs 😂 I’m happy and don’t feel lonely without having friends, but I always feel like I NEED to have friends for a healthy social relationship (I have a happy marriage, close family, great work colleagues, and social media “besties”). I’m just missing the “real friend” aspect in my life that I used to have when I was younger but I don’t know if I need one or want to force a friendship at my age
Best pod episode I have watched ❤
Thank u!! This was a tough topic, but I’m glad u enjoyed it!! Hope we have more light hearted topics too 😓😓
Okay, I need a bench now. I never thought of it as a multifunctional item before.
I sometimes think I'm a bad person but I have NEVER been that toxic. MY GOD. O__O
For the pod, I want you guys to speak your mind! Talk about whatever is meaningful. Or maybe your experiences in yours 20s are so different than your 30s.
Just wanted to say I absolute love this podcast!
aww thank you vivian! i feel like a LOT of my current community don't really listen to podcasts, so doing this was a huge gamble. thanks for listening ~~ i hope we...do less of the traumatizing topics 😓 this was really meant to be a fun loving weekly catchup between friends, but we get too deep sometimes.
i think the next one will be fun!!
- chlo
Next pod:
- How do you know I'm making the right decision? and what keeps you motivated with the decision you made?
- How do you deal with negative emotions in adulthood?
Also my dude, your sock 🧦 game is on point with the cats 🐱
I LOVE TUESDAYS!!!!!!!!
WE LOVE UUUU THANK U FOR BEING HERE ON DAY 1
@@jomopod will be here through it aaallll~ 🥹
Shout out to the Stable friends out here. i might be working on the same old same old, but we love you!
Sorry I didn’t mean to call ya out like that 😭😭 i too think yall are loyal, stable, and hella grounded people. 🫡🫡 thank u for the love you give out in the world and to your friends! - chloe
@@jomopod haha its okay, we just over here existing! 😋
27:01 Chloe I want to cry for you I am being serious - I can’t believe you’ve been though that amount of shit from “friends” oh man
😔 yeah i think in reality, it was far worse. i was in a really bad state then, but im far past it now! i'm extremely allergic if people have a whiff of this type of behavior. i stay the heck awayyy!! - chlo
Chloe’s toxic coworker crush story lowkey started off like the king George and queen charlotte open hatred hidden love trope 😂 and then it got weird real quick and then I was like ewwwww why are men 😭 so sorry you had to go through that Chloe 😭
hahahaha i mean i'm all for king george and queen charlotte, but NOPE it wasn't like that at all 😓 men be like that sometimes.
but all is well now!!
- chlo
"You're the one who offered"
What a story 😵💫😵💫😵💫
ok chloe as a Berkeley kid living in the bay area I do get what you mean… at least about those EECS kids 🫠
ERIC DOES NOT AGREE WITH ME T_T
- chlo
Would request if possible that you guys do an episode on rest and why we feel like it needs to be earned before we take it
To be honest! I think David was friends with Chloe so that he could flirt with her friends and her mutual friends! to make real friends I recommend martial arts like tae kwon do!
thought i watched this video already but the red cardigan reappears :D
sorry haha sometimes we redo the thumbnails bc we mess up on the original shoots :< i made a mistake on coloring since i've been trying new color settings. sorry for the confusion! - chlo
If someone calls you a best friend - observe how they actually treat you over time. Chances are they are abusive manipulators
The Djibouti part cracked me up as someone from that area of EA 🤣
🤣🤣🤣 omg never did we think someone from that area would watch this episode. the stars have aligned!! thank you for tuning in!
I'm relating to the part from 45:00 onwards a lot!
I agree with you eric on the whole men and women can be friends. Idk why it's a hot take with people.
🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
I relate to you so much, Eric! c:
Adult friendships are definitely different, no doubt about that.
🙂↕️🙂↕️ very different indeed
As a Berkeley kid, can confirm I don't like Berkeley kids lmao
lmaooo o naurrr 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
Hey Eric and Chloe, you guys spoke a lot about mentors and having people to guide you throughout your careers. I was wondering if you knew any way to find mentors in the creative space as I am determined to achieve the goal of having content creation replace my current work as a SWE.
low key heard so much about how the other chloe was crazy when i joined cu gen lololol
OH MY GOD that's crazy x_x
i did not think anyone from that world would know i was referencing but omg i hope you had a great time in CU gen! i'm still best friends with one of the previous presidents. i loved my first time there!
- chloe
@@jomopod i did have a great time in cu gen! i didn’t get in til my junior year but if i had gotten in earlier, we would’ve met!
glad that you had bright moments of friendship still at columbia!!
berk kids are so diff from stanford kids, but i think high egos exist everywhere, but i have met some berk people who are like what chloe explains😬
In what ways are Berkeley people different than Stanford
damn, I'm that type of friend @58:31. I wonder if my friends think the same way
bro im so sorry i didn't mean to put ya on blast like that :< i meant to frame it as these people are super grounded, loyal, reliable, and there for you which is extremely rare as well. ive mostly been in a hyper focus era and surrounding myself with similar people, so meeting people not like that has been a new change of pace.
sorry if it came off negative!!
- chlo
I had no idea that key club was sexist 🤯 great pod guys!
i know!! it has deep history ~
You guys have been thru so much. I think you guys should having boxing segment so you punch shit while talking about these bastards
🤣 my therapist has told me i should do boxing to get it out of my system - chlo
Yup I’m a fan
🫶🫶 jomies lfg ~
My wife and I are opposites where I am like Eric where I want to hang out and meet new peeps. My wife is like Chloe where she doesn't really have best friends because she is so occupied with goals and personal care. She enjoys her solitude and I enjoy social environments. It makes our relationship dynamic interesting because of the balance of what recharges both of us is different. I have maybe 5 work relationships that turned into really good relationships because I am so personable/real with everyone lol I open up so other feel comfortable. Is Kevin Social or more to himself?
yeah i'm definitely in a hyper-focus "i'd rather be at home on saturday night" era haha. i just have had so many dreams i never gave myself permission to work on, so i think your wife hit the nail on the head!
kevin is relatively social. he talks to his boys almost every day haha. they play games a lot. he's def the type of just hang out and play board games or shoot the shit. it's really refreshing to witness how different we are in that respect. i'd say that when i do hang out with friends, but we go mad deep. we cover EVERYTHING. it's a super different dynamic, but i enjoy it!
- chloe
@@jomopod Dude same 😅 When we hang out we are getting in deep conversations and covering the nuances of the topics. Surface level convos and small talk is cool for corporate life but not for friendships lol
I want friends like Chloe and Eric 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 23:03
👉👈🥹
omg FIRSTTTTT slayyyyyyy love yall
jomies slayyyy 🫶
Im here earlyy!!!
AYYE!! welcome welcome!! thanks for listening on day 1 in the first few hours!!!
I heard Eric mentioned Myer Briggs, what are you guys’ MBTI? I want friends like you guys ❤
i think Chloe mentioned she is ENFJ somewhere and that sounds correct to me. Eric has said on his own podcast he doesn't seem to take mbti that seriously but I think he is INTP. For any personality theory nerds out there, a supposed significant contributing factor to their strong friendship is the Fe-Ti connection. and random additional guess is that Kevin is ISTP lol
@@lollmylifex3those were my guesses too lol
I think that’s correct!! - chloe
Idk what Kevin is tho - I’ll ask him!
Dunbar's number is 150. Pokemon has 150!
As a Berkeley people, I totally agree HAHAHA
LOL our key witness
sorry for leaving multiple comments! but i also notice berk people getting offended at stanford people so easily….maybe the rumor is true lol
🤣🤣 o boy
25:30
29:52
50:45
Why mute/cover the swearing?
It would be nice to hear everything without the effects
honestly, we're unsure if youtube will ding the video with the swearing. trying to find the right threshold to work with atm. let us know if you have insight into this too!
All i know is if you guys use profanity without the first 15 seconds, youtube might de-monetize your video and not let you run ads. TH-cam allows creators use moderate cursing like you guys do though so once you get past 15 seconds. You’re good I think😎🤙
OK Chloe I'm only 25 min into this podcast episode but you have had so many shitty friend experiences, I'm sorry :/
💔💔 it was rough, but I’m in a much better place now!! Learned to let go of a ton!!
- chloe
I’m in disbelief, I would’ve blocked them so fast. I can’t believe the audacity of the interactions from David 😔
The vibe I get from Eric is that he is very thoughtful, really respectful towards himself and others. Chloe does come off as someone who will put people as a means to an end.
You friends and you friends - is the most accurate depiction of my friends that I know individually, as I also dont have a group lolol
I see the flower analogy it's like Naruto what also makes him great is the village behind him. Just like you Chloe you got your hidden leaf. Believe it!! 🥷😂🤓
BELIEVE IT DATTEBAYO
@@jomopod hell yeah brother 🫡