As silly as Crystal Skull was I’m fine where it ends with Indy having a family and happily married to Marion while he also rekindled his relationship with his son, full stop that’s where his story ends while Dial of Destiny is about as canon as Ghostbusters: 2016 in my eyes.
Crystal Skull was bad, but at least it had Indy being the hero, a Harrison Ford who actually gave a shit, and Indy having a happy ending. Then Dilation of Density comes along and immediately takes away everything that made Indy happy and spends the whole film abusing him. You’d think with the latest string of flops that someone at Disney would realize that no one wants to see their childhood heroes being broken down, killed, and replaced by annoying British women.
Agreed but the true ending is with the 93-year-old Indy we see in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, reminiscing and telling stories of his adventures to an audience of youngsters.
Watched Crystal Skull three times now. Also watched Aqua-man, Wolverine, Avatar easy double that amount. My heart has a place for bad movies, but not mean spirited movies.
Right before Morbin' time. Rey passionately kissed the dying Kylo. And Steve Rogers, sitting on a bench overlooking the water, said, "Maybe America's ass was the friends we made along the way."
7:52 you'll notice that bad writers have a very limited bag of tricks. Kurtzman thinks being a foul-mouthed alcoholic makes a character complex, Lucasfilm thinks it's clever and subversive when a well loved character is dragged through the mud for the umpteenth time.
Timestamps 0:00 Mauler’s Book 0:30 Ageism 0:55 Sky Drifting 1:36 Movies Made To Be Forgotten 2:39 Bugs 3:09 Rags Holiday Season 4:08 General Thoughts 17:42 The Spear Of Destiny 52:50 Professor Jones 1:17:04 Helena Shaw 1:18:18 The Villain 1:23:40 Hellena Shaw 1:29:19 The See Ay Hey + Nat See Alliance 1:37:13 Helena Show 1:41:08 Framed & Trapped 1:42:28 CG Waller-Bridge 1:44:18 The Best Moment In The Whole Movie 1:47:08 Escapes, Captures & The Hood Paradox 1:57:28 The Interview 1:58:58 Wanted 2:00:17 Salah 2:04:50 Destroying The Dial 2:06:09 A Weird Shot 2:08:45 Marocco 2:09:34 Teddy 2:14:05 Hellen Slow 2:17:40 Thank God, The Natsee Are Here! 2:19:57 Police, Guns, And The Mob 2:24:51 Excape 2:25:31 The Chase 2:33:30 Gary Leaves 2:35:15 The Chase Goes On And On And On And On 2:39:32 Hellera Shrow 2:40:32 Natsee & Ceeayhey 2:43:33 Jokes & Sadness 2:46:39 Antonio Banderas 2:48:25 Hallera Sbrow 2:53:55 A Good Harrison Ford Scene & How To Ruin It 2:58:16 Explosive Moments 3:00:49 Swimming, Submerging & Summarizing 3:04:06 Hot & Drawned 3:05:33 Misuse Of Characters 3:08:48 An Uncomfortable Situation 3:11:56 The Boat 3:15:47 The Right Direction 3:19:00 Selective Kidnapping 3:20:33 Low Standards 3:21:31 Fuel 3:22:02 The Cave 3:28:31 The Bridge 3:30:22 Underwater 3:32:20 A Familiar Backstory 3:35:00 Slowly Falling Down Into Incomprehensible Gibberish 3:38:18 The Tomb 3:41:59 The Bike 3:42:51 Objective, Mechanics & The Implications The Time Travelling 3:48:06 Wallera Sbrowdge 3:55:00 The Drift & The Portal 3:59:07 The Closed Loop 4:01:05 The BC Airplane 4:03:44 Foreshadowing 4:05:10 The Stupidest Part Of The Movie 4:08:31 A Confused & Irrational Conclusion For The Bad Guys 4:09:33 Continental Drifting, Time Shifting & Portal Theories 4:14:16 Waller Sbridge 4:16:08 Crash Landing 4:17:06 Archemedies 4:17:50 Indiana Jones And The Last Jedi 4:21:30 The Funny Punch 4:23:17 Back To The Present 4:29:20 A Weird Ending 4:32:11 Box Office 4:38:17 How's The movie & How It Compares With The OT 4:39:31 Multiverse & Time Travel 4:40:27 The Future & A Present Full Of Failures 4:48:26 Final Evaluation 4:49:15 Videogames 4:50:03 Recommendation 4:51:08 The Hat 4:52:04 Waller Bridge 4:52:30 Remembering Rags 4:53:07 The Little Platoon 4:53:44 JonCJG 4:54:28 Metal 4:55:54 Next Movies 4:57:05 Metal, Fringy & Mauler's Projects 4:58:06 What's Next? 4:59:17 Nolhan And What Are You Looking For In A Movie To Be Efapped 5:01:23 Closing With A Funny Meme
Saving him because he's still gonna make the mistakes that will lead to his downfall, as opposed to one who knows enough of what has happened to do better. Not to defend this film, but at least give that some credit of why that is done.
@@motherplayer Give it credit for some predictable ass time travel plot line that’s been done to death billion times in better movies and Tv show(but still annoying every time it’s done)? Lol just say you’re tryna defend the film and be about your way sir.
We need a new word for films like this. The type of corporate bad that results from committee writing, reshoots, reedits, agenda pushing, and reliance on green screen and overworked and underpaid cgi artists. Films like this, Star Wars Episode 9, Multiverse of Madness, etc. Back in the day, a “bad” film typically resulted from a subpar script or general low quality production issues. Now we have sort of the opposite, NO script and overproduced nonsense leading to something that doesn’t even feel like an attempt at a film. Best I can come up with is “product.”
Indy says in this movie that he doesn’t believe in fantastical stuff, even though he’s come face to face with the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, and Aliens.
He is as devout an atheist as Richard Dawkins, who said that even if the clouds parted and the voice from The Ten Commandments proclaimed he was God and so on, he would prefer to decide that he'd gone insane than to consider God might actually be real, because "that is more likely". Same for Indiana Jones, apparently. It's just more reasonable to suppose that he starts going on an adventure and then has a psychotic episode.
@@o00nemesis00oThat would make both Indiana and Dawkins less logical and more dogmatic when they can be given irrefutable proof capital G God exists…and then disregard it entirely. Shit man, I wish I could be so far up my own ass to be that smug.
@@TaoScribble Oh it's everyone. For some reason, Hollywood has decided that gingers are the perfect black substitute: Comic book characters and other fictional characters. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
The point of the CIA stuff was to shoehorn a Black woman into the plot for diversity points. In which case, it should have been the Phoebe Waller-Bridge character, but since the Jones replacement is a Kathleen Kennedy self-insert, she had to be an average-looking, brunette white Mary Sue with an attitude.
XD okay so. Slightly weird question. 1960s. Would the CIA even field her? Like without some degree of oversight anyway? They are handing her off to manage a former Nazi...soooo if she figures that out or knows that, is it possible she might just go "Oh he uh....tripped into a gun 3 times."
These diversity quotas are actually mandatory at the big studios now, along with other "rules," such as no male mentors for a female character, etc. Look no further as to why these movies continue to suck.
Sounds like Voller’s introduction in 1969 might as well have been the Monty Python sketch about Mr. Hilter and his friends setting up shop in the small English village. “Not much fun in Stalingrad… no…” 😆
One thing I noticed with a lot of these new sequels of a long running franchise is that our protagonist is now a lot more reliant on "luck" to get out of situations instead of their wits and courage. Indy got out of a lot of dire situations cuz the Russians were incompetent, and he lucked out over and over in Crystal Skull. Then it happened again in Pirates 5 with Jack Sparrow. It's like writers these days don't know how to write a character outsmarting their opponents so they have to rely on "the enemies missed all their shots" " a certian something just happened right next to the protagonist and annihilated the enemies without harming the good guy, or something random happened and got the protagonist out of the area"
If they were determined to tell a tale where Indi lost his spark, it would have been so much better if adult Short Round found himself in the US and flung Indi into a whirlwind adventure where he progressively got his mojo back, working through his pain with a surrogate son in tow.
I just love the fact that we now have yet another Lucasfilm movie where the good guys only win because the bad guys aren’t smart enough to fly their flying machines upwards..
Lando's way worse because they just happen to bump into him in THE GALAXY. Indy and Sala are confined to the same planet and they still thought it was worth a phone call to set up.
1:57:40 Saying "We went to the moon, thus we conquered space" is pretty much the same as discovering The Americas, building a single shack then proclaiming that all of America is conquered.
Went and saw this with my Dad for his birthday in the theater. Before the movie started the theater played like this little thing that "only villains leave there phone on in the theater". And they were displaying a whole bunch of villains in media including Phoebe WB. Don't know if she was a villain in any other movie, but she definitely is one in this movie.
Reminder that it could have been worse. The original script for the final act was past Indiana Jones getting killed, causing old man Indy to get erased from history, which leads to British lady hopping through time recreating his adventures to avoid a paradox.
More like you thought you had a funeral pyre for grandpa years ago but just realized a necromancer stole the body and animated it to do twisted acts to mock life in general and his life in particular.
Sallah broke my heart. His speech about missing the ocean and adventure was lovely, and then Indy just leaves him. Sallah is going to die an old, ignominious man driving cabs in NYC instead of going on one last adventure with his dear friend. Pathetic.
4:09:00 Continental drift used to be millions of years ago going at less than 1cm a year, and now travel up to 10 cm a year. On average, 1-2 cm for some plates. And with the power of metric, multiplying by 2,000 years being this easy (thanks metric), that's 20 m on the low side, 40 m on the high side, and up to 200 m on the extreme end. A Ju88 bomber, at 370 kph cruising, is going ~100 m/s. It is within blink and you'll miss it territory. Also, yeah, curvature of the earth? Eratosthenes, who lived a little before Archimedes, already got the circumference of the Earth (along the N-S line of longitude, not across E-W) within 1% error probably while he was at the Library of Alexandria ~240 BC. The Battle of Syracuse was 213-212 BC. So he probably got most of his stuff right.
This conversation just reminds me of the first indiana jones movie, where this dude with a sword comes out and does his little "im gonna swing my sword around cuz grr", and indie just pulls his gun and shoots him completely unscripted because he felt like shit the day they recorded it. He was supposed to have a cool fight scene lol
Imagine being George Lucas at that John Williams performance and seeing the Wicked Witch of Lucasfilm who destroyed your life’s work and inserted herself in the center.
Oh boy, more autistic fanboys bizarrely choosing to dickride George again, as if he wasn't the one who sold Star Wars to begin with.. If you really think George isn't content living the rest of his life retired and sitting his fat ass on a throne made of fat stacks that will last his family generations, then I've got a bridge to sell you.
Canonically, Indiana Jones birthday is on July 1st, the day this breakdown (autopsy more like it) premiered. So sad to see Indy savaged even worse than the last fake film.
I honestly feel like this movie should've been about Mutt (Shia Leboeuf) taking up the reins of Indy. The story could even be something similar to uncharted 4 where it is a simple and grounded treasure hunt (no Gods or curses). You could have Indy cameo in a simple scene of being a professor/assistant dean (based on KotCS I think) and he hands Mutt his notes
seems like that didn’t happen because Shia is a little nuts and the backlash to Crystal Skull but passing the whip down or recasting Indy and keeping him in the 30s-40s was always the right move but Disney just sees the franchise as Harrison Ford
Nah, Mutt was almost as annoying as this insufferable Mary Sue. There should never have been any more movies after the third. But if there had to be, then Shortround would've been the right person to pass the torch to.
They should have brought Mutt back recast with Chris Pratt. He is a highly bankable action star and he looks more like Harrison Ford than Shia LaBeouf. You could easily just say he changed in the last 12 years. Have Short Round work with him as his mentor with old Indy in a smaller role closer to Henry Jones Sr in Crusade and people would have been on board.
@@coolman229agreed on the chris Pratt recasting as indy. He seems perfect for the role. I also liked shia as mutt tho so take my opinion with a grain of salt. Just makes more sense to recast indy like a James bond type character instead tying it to Harrison Ford.
2:25:46 How do you have Heather Shaw established as a character who despises what her father and godfather did in the previous films and expect us to like her? She has the most uncharitable view of Indy's escapades, and because he's not Indiana Jones and is an Indiana Joke, he never defends himself or Toby's actions, and Heather gets to trot off, satisfied with the fact that she denigrated her godfather that she clearly hates. The people that approved of that scene have never had that kind of conversation before and had someone defend their character.
3:52:12 Even better... imagine the debriefing he'll have to give once the Feds/CIA catches up to him... "I saved the world... make all this murder stuff go away!" "How?" "I stopped someone from going back in time and killing Hitler!" "Excuse you... you WHAT?!?!?!?"
"You don't understand. He actually wanted to take Hitler's place, so it isn't that bad that I stopped him." "How much worse could that guy have possibly been?!"
I don't think Heavens Gate was a bad film though. I just think it was the wrong film for UA to go all in on. The ST and this new Indiana Jones are character assassinations. But it's the characters that the studio was built on. I don't really have a counterpoint. I just Heavens Gate gets a bad wrap.
Why would the folklore interpret the plane as a dragon? The Greeks and Romans weren't living in grass huts with basic tools. They'd interpret it as a boat that flies, surely? It was clearly carrying humans firing weapons. It has wings like a gliding bird. The basic truth of what it is would be obvious, I'd have thought? Why would later generations interpret "flying boat" as "dragon"?
Incomprensible flying thing, with wings and spitting fire and death (machinegun), that can work, especially since the greco-roman definition of dragon is broad as fuck.
@@mxmlnlcdcdffmnt2232 I don't think it is incomprehensible, though. It's a clearly artificial, constructed craft with armed people aboard, a boat that flies (and has wings like a gliding bird). Granted that "dragon" is a broad term, but I just don't see how there would be confusion about the nature of what they were looking at.
@@matthewcollins4773 i mean would the greco-romans at the seige have the words to talk about it? And then had 2000 something years of translation by other people and you could end up with that.
Agreed. The Greeks were the foremost scientists and philosophers in the world for a thousand years and Archimedes personally invented a moving model of the solar system, designed the largest ship in antiquity, had made mirrors into blinding weapons and designed winches on cranes that hooked onto Roman boats during the siege of Syracuse - this actual battle. Archimedes' reputation with machinery was so ironclad that a Roman army that cut dogs in half to send a message gave specific orders that he should be taken alive to prove their glory in overcoming him. There is a zero percent chance that ten thousand men seeing a flying machine giving off explosions in the middle of a battle, on a perfect day without a cloud in the sky, would think it was a mythical animal when there was a legendary genius on the other side that was already hitting them with things they didn't understand.
Fun fact, two people in my cinema not only laughed through the movie, but clapped when it was over. It was the first time I've EVER heard someone clap at the end of the movie. Thought judging by their faces they may have been on edibles
where I am people clap constantly at movies, including during the movie. when i saw Endgame there were people clapping so much i missed most of the dialogue.
@@dr.henrykillinger1027 I dunno where this moronic behaviour of clapping during/after a movie came from. Seems to be common since End Game for some reason.
@@GeraltofRivia22 The last time I heard clapping at the end of a movie in the local cinema, it was for _Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2._ Sad as it is, I think the trend’s been around longer than we think.
@@GeraltofRivia22Been around a lot longer than that. Has happened in my area for as long as I can remember. I'm only 22. So it isn't that long, but it isn't a small amount of time.
One thing I realized that made me laugh is how modern Hollywood has taken the happy endings in two of Harrison Ford's major roles (Han Solo and Indie) and made them sad old codgers who are a shadow of their former selves, have seperated from their partner, and also have lost their only kid. What a joke.
13:00 I love what Platoon talks about here, and is actually something I've been mentioning quite a bit to people, myself. It's sort of very interesting that Disney purchased things that they don't understand and an irony in them often acting in the way that those properties are designed around speaking against.
This movie made me appreciate The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles even more now. My canon has a 93-year-old retired Indy telling tales of his adventures to crowds of enraptured youngsters.
They really should’ve just done a movie with Ford as an Old Indy. He’s still happily married to Marion, still teaching, he hasn’t been on an adventure since losing his eye. So he’s in a bit of a dower place. Still wishing to go on adventures, but his body is just not what it used to be. He simply feels unfulfilled with the life of a older man. Mutt and his wife are off doing something out of state, so he asks Indy to watch his kids. Indy agrees. Hoping having someone else younger around will boost his spirits. Being young kids, the grandchildren find themselves nosing around through Indy’s office. Much to his annoyance. Worried they’re just going to be playing and possibly damage them. But they just are interested by them. They ask Indy where he got these artifacts. Indy, realizing that this could be the best way to relive his glory days as a swashbuckling archaeologist, sits them down and tells them about some of his past adventures. Have it be set up almost like an anthology movie with three mini-stories all with a new actor as Indy. I.e. Anthony Ingruber. Going after Macguffins. Have the final scene be them out running errands, when a mugger holds them at knifepoint about to rob them. Indy, feels some of his youthful vigor return, and he manages to outwit and knock out the mugger.
I bet that in The Last of Us 3 - Abby is going to invent a time travel machine and use it to *golf* Indiana Jones before he gets old, useless and depressed... spare him the suffering.
Or she'll refuse to save her dad after trying to save her dad for some contrived reason, and use the time machine to repeatedly kill Joel. That's what I expect from Cuckmann.
What they should have done is pretty obvious. Indiana Jones is getting older and isn't as physically fit as he used to be, but obviously he's got decades of knowledge and experience to pass on. What should have happened in this film is for Indy to become something of an Obi Wan type mentor figure to a younger Luke Skywalker character.
I loved the part where Indiana said, "It's Jonesing time" and whipped all over the screen. 11/10, Phoebe Waller Bridge is great as Kathleen Kennedy insert number 536.
And 18-21 years of child support, and if you divorced in Commie-fornia, you get to pay LIFETIME alimony. Luckily only one out of 1,000 men are stupid/ignorant/can't control their biology/desperate enough to get married these days.
Phoebe’s stupid comment “You did it for the buzz” was a reference to when Belloq convinced Indy not to blow up the ark ... Obviously done for a modern audience so they needed to cut down the achievements of Indy. Finally, proof that modern movies that are sequels or calls back to older media only watch the first movie/episode/game of that media to get their references.
The one thing that really sticks in my mind that BREAKS this movie from the beginning is how Voller got annihilated by the train stop thing. It was like a superhero-level collision. HE WOULD BE DEAD. Absolutely DEAD. No idea how they think he would survive that.
2:59:00 TLP... dynamite doesn't explode when mishandled. That was the *point* of inventing dynamite. The dynamite mix as an invention was so that you could transport it without too much care, without the vibrations or ambient heat setting it off. Dynamite is an incredibly stable material, and only detonates, as designed, when subject to extremes, with the simplest being ignition via a voltage signal. That's why we have the whole plunger-boom-goes-the-dynamite aesthetic in cartoons.
I remember seeing this with my friend in the cinema and when the Main Bad Guy gets hit on the head at high speed and fells down said speeding train, I joked "Oh, I'm sure he's fine." And he was... I thought it was magic or some bullshit but nope, dude just... walk it off?
Makes you wonder if Indi had a daughter instead of a son would KK kept her around. Clearly KK would have wanted a New female character she can lay claim to. I do believe if Indi had a daughter she would be alive and probably hating her father.
We used to have movies starring old people (albeit younger than this) where it was “one last adventure, for old time’s sake”. That would’ve been more interesting. Instead, he does it out of obligation and guilt. He was begrudgingly pulled out of retirement. That’s a terrible premise for an action-adventure movie. It’s supposed to be fun and harrowing, not sad and depressing that he has to be trotted out again.
The reshoots seem pretty clear in this movie and almost like they were done to silence arguments from groups like EFAP! Examples: People not caring about people dying who they cared about - Inject a reshoot where Indy mentions it Nobody wants Indy to die for PWB to take over - Well she punches him in the face and saves him instead Antonio Banderas’ involvement in this film is the only negative consequence the hero experience for their actions. Almost like PWB was supposed to be the one who just figured out they need to go West! Again Disney heard the backlash but couldn’t convince PWB let Indy figure it out so they invented a new character for the reshoots! I’m sure there are more examples but I haven’t seen the film, just going off of the coverage here!
I listened to this as it went out, or at least 2 hours of it before sleep claimed me. I've been following EFAP for over 18 months & listened to as much as possible. I can't remember an EFAP where the panel were more muted or where it appeared from the voices that everyone seemed downcast, as if the air had been taken from the room.
4:28:58 It was Heron, a greek mathematician-engineer in Alexandria who created what could be described as the first steam engine, there were also other applications that could be described as steam engines in a wide sense, there was a mechanism in an ancient greek temple that used steam to open the big heavy doors of the temple. The major issue with what the ancient civilizations would find after our guys left is that while yeah they could examine the weapons and the aircraft and understand a few things there is no way to replicate anything because the metallurgy in ancient times was simply shit and examining the steel in the weapons or the aluminum on the aircraft's body with what they had at hand wouldnt result in much. By the time the industrial revolution happened we had made advancements in metallurgy and then precision tooling and machining became a thing.
Interesting observations, but if you look at what the "elite" ancient societies crafted out of stone and glass, I think they would have been able to make use of it in some way. (At least as "Cliffs Notes" for mechanical engineering.) I would be interested to see a Ford Model T engine made out of Bronze Age materials. The only part I think they would have real trouble with is the valve springs. But there are other engine designs that don't rely on those, so maybe they would have figured something out.
Quick note about the bends: it's caused by absorbed oxygen in the blood experiencing reduced pressure and becoming a gas. It happens if you acclimate to increased pressures, so if you dive quickly and come up quickly it doesn't happen. This is how people can dive to over 200m depth without gear (look up "deepest unassisted dive").
Wait ... Why was this movie called the Dial of Destiny?? What destiny was fulfilled? Archimedes said “This was always going to happen!” but what, he made a Dial to bring people back to see his final battle?? If he knew what happened was always going to happen then why did he just follow the path to his death just so someone from the future can come see it?!?!?!
You aren't meant to think, or use your brain, or try to make sense of this nonsense. This movie wasn't made for you. It was made so Kennedy could self insert herself destroying another man who is better than her in every conceivable way.
Maybe those who have the dial hold the world's destiny in their hands? That's the only somewhat interesting explanation I could come up with. For obvious reasons they couldn't call it the Dial of Doom.
@@Neo-Vandole well....would that possibly effect your life or lives of those you know? You would possibly alter those family bloodlines by changing the world political state.
@@ianhines2302 I do feel bad for Clarke. It seems like she just happens to be in a franchise just as it takes its last breath and dies. I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose like Phoebe Waller-Bridge!
1:03:30 Platoon on point again. From what we knew of Mutt, it makes little sense for him to join the army, as he was a bit rebellious and by the end of Crystal was looking like he wanted to follow in Indy's adventuring shoes. It further makes little sense for him to join to spite Indy. That doesn't just make little sense. It seems absurd for both Mutt and Indy. It seems bad for Mutt because, while he's a bit rebellious, he doesn't seem the kind that would be rebellious of his father by going to war, putting his life in danger and going into the killing fields just to spite anyone, let alone Indy. By the end of Crystal Skull, Mutt and Indy were beginning to have a good relationship and Mutt was beginning to see Indy for the good man he was and look up to him. For Indy, I don't think I'd believe that he would be that opposed to Mutt enlisting or going to Vietnam, at least in the early years of the war. The whole thing is kind of important to the setup and conclusion to the movie and I just don't buy it, based on these particular characters. Other characters, sure. Not these ones. Further, Mangold has recently said that the reason Mutt was left out was because this story was about Indy and Helena, and including Mutt would've over-complicated things... so they just killed him. Allllllriiiiight. I also agree that I would greatly prefer that the artifact may have been a more well known one - such as the spear of destiny - and that time travel might not be involved at all. But, the Antikythera is a real thing. Obviously not involved in time travel. Really, there's not anything supernatural about it, even in legend. That's completely made up. It's extremely fragile and was found in 1901 - another difference from other Indy artifacts, as it wasn't a legend at all until it was actually found, where Indy artifacts are often objects of pure legend that've never been found. It is interesting in that it's a geared mechanism that seems uniquely advanced for its time, with nothing coming close to its level of sophisticated mechanics being known to exist for at least several hundred years later anywhere in the world. But, like, why the fuck would the artifact of the movie be something that was discovered and has been in a museum long before it's ever introduced in the movie? It doesn't just belong in a museum. It's been in a museum almost as long as we've known about it. Decades before this movie takes place. Whyyyyy???
1:50:00 Correct. Nothing in the previous films happens that would necessarily be known or noticed by anyone not involved. It's believable that it could have happened and we just didn't know. Not public displays that are televised.
In response to discussing the point where the group finds something rather easily in middle of a tourist attraction, a comment in chat is made that Petra, the location used at the end of Last Crusade, is a well-known tourist attraction. The difference there would be that it's not Petra in the movie. Petra is located in Jordan and there's more than the one cliffside carving. In the movie, it's not named Petra and it's presented as being in a more secluded canyon in Turkey. It may seem unlikely that it would have been largely undiscovered, but the movie presents it so and more believably so than the actual Petra location.
I looked at this film like taking your dog out for their best day ever before you have them put down. The dog is having a good time and just can't get enough, and you're holding back tears through the facade of a smile, knowing that it's over. Sleep now Indy, you were a good friend, time for sleep.
My girlfriend wanted to go watch this movie, so I used the line "it's a movie made by people who liked the last jedi, for the people who liked the last jedi". She no longer wants to watch it
I wouldn't be surprised if they originally wrote Indy to stay in the past to die and test audiences hated it, so they panicked and wrote a slapdash ending where he gets the girl.
Having the gall to make a part 5 of a series no one even wanted a part 4 of is bad enough, but to utterly disintegrate Indy is the most vilely reprehensible offense imaginable. If they had given him the honorable, respectful treatment that Tom Cruise received on Maverick, this movie would likely have been a massive success.
You know what could have made this villain interesting? What if, instead of being a Nazi, this was an idealist historian who had suffered under Nazi rule, saw anyone who would instigate a war as evil, and since learning of the dial had obsessively studied every major war in history, including every cause and lead-up to them? His evil goal is to do anything it takes, no matter how evil, to get the dial and go back in time to stop all war and create what he thinks is a pacifist utopia. Jones, being an older man with more intelligence and wisdom, understands that as awful as it is, war has been a central point throughout human history, and there is no possible way of knowing what we would even look like without it. Jones is forced to stop a man doing what might seem like a positive thing, to preserve the history he's spent his whole life studying and understanding
Really awesome idea compared to what these shitty writers came up with. Can't believe that these shitty corporations are hiring literally the WORST storytellers of all time. Random fans at home can make 1000x better stories, characters, and dialogue than these overpaid hacks... 💀
53:32 "What are we even supposed to be aspiring to here? The point of Indiana Jones is that this is a character that you want to embody; this is someone that you really want to grow up to be like, not someone that makes you fear growing up." As much as I love Harrison Ford in this role, I've never felt that he can be the only Indiana Jones and, sorry Harry, but you're old. I just watched Shrinking and enjoyed him in that. Indiana Jones was never meant to be played by the same guy for 42 years. We're not meant to think "Man, his bones be crackin'. He's really too old for this. He's making me feel kinda sad for him." Maybe it's a bit ageist, but treasure hunting and fighting Nazis are a younger man's game. His trilogy was an all-time great. But I've ALWAYS felt that Indy should be more like a Bond type character. It's been a minute since I've seen them, but Sean Patrick Flanery played Young Indiana Jones and I thought those were great. As a matter of fact, that means that Sean has played Indy more than Harry has. Harrison would always be the original and might always be the best, but this idea that actors own characters just doesn't make sense with the profession of acting. Indy should an enduring thing that can have as many adventures as we can think of. Pratt would've made a GREAT Indy, if the scripts didn't suck. Of course, he's 44, now, so I'd say he'd even only have a few years left to do it before aging out of the ideal zone. He still looks kinda young, but Ford was 47 when Last Crusade was released. Of course, I would wager that it would suck no matter what in this day and age, produced by Disney and current LucasFilm.
This is made all the more sad, when you realize that Tom Cruise is about to be made out to be an absolute badass in the upcoming Mission Impossible, and the dude is in his 60s.
Longman: well if Indy just tells the police that the CIA did it, then they'll have to admit to it. Me, an American: well yes... fifty to eighty years later, give or take a few decades, long after Indy would have expired in prison.
The film's ending feels like a reshoot because it's possibly is. There were leaks about a time travelling Indiana Jones where Indy stays in the past and Phoebe Waller-Bridge taking up the mantle of Indiana Jones, and when it came out, and Mangold had big overreaction over it seeing the backlash and I think they really wanted to make PWB the new Indy but Disney backed out seeing the reaction to the leak. But that's just a theory.
4:32:12 They would have had to drag him back onto the plane... go through the portal... land the plane... drag him off it... steal a car... somehow drag him ALLLLLL the way back to NYC (good luck getting HIM through customs) and then back into his bed... did they EVER take him to an offical hospital? Cause I would assume that he'd be handcuffed to a bed at that point... Also... how is the fake spear from the beginning of the movie there? Could you imagine if it was all a fevered drinking-induced coma dream?!?!?! And that NONE of this movie actually happened?
Mutt: "Dad? You're okay? Mom told you to not drink so much alcohol while you watch TV...." Indy: "I just had the most horrible nightmare! You were dead, your mother divorced me, I was wanted for Murder and I suddenly had a british goddaughter who threw sticks of dynamite around!"
![NISAMANEE - TADA (ท้าดา) [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hcQHEPMmJpU/mqdefault.jpg)
As silly as Crystal Skull was I’m fine where it ends with Indy having a family and happily married to Marion while he also rekindled his relationship with his son, full stop that’s where his story ends while Dial of Destiny is about as canon as Ghostbusters: 2016 in my eyes.
Crystal Skull was bad, but at least it had Indy being the hero, a Harrison Ford who actually gave a shit, and Indy having a happy ending. Then Dilation of Density comes along and immediately takes away everything that made Indy happy and spends the whole film abusing him. You’d think with the latest string of flops that someone at Disney would realize that no one wants to see their childhood heroes being broken down, killed, and replaced by annoying British women.
Agreed but the true ending is with the 93-year-old Indy we see in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, reminiscing and telling stories of his adventures to an audience of youngsters.
@@harrydubois6619it feels like they’re doing it out of spite at this point with how they made this lady way mode obnoxious than rey
Watched Crystal Skull three times now. Also watched Aqua-man, Wolverine, Avatar easy double that amount. My heart has a place for bad movies, but not mean spirited movies.
So because I LIKE an ending = ending good ah no objectivity I love it lmao
"I came to this adventure to die" - Indy Skywalker
More like Idaho McGee.
Indiana Jake
"You must leave this office. Now!"
indie ;)
The reveal that Short-Round Killed Shia in Nam was an unexpected twist.
"Okie dokie, Mr. Minh!"
Especially considering Short Round is Chinese!!
Right before Morbin' time. Rey passionately kissed the dying Kylo. And Steve Rogers, sitting on a bench overlooking the water, said, "Maybe America's ass was the friends we made along the way."
@@justin.channelshe truly is America's ass 🐴
@@justin.channels Very brave, very powerful.
7:52 you'll notice that bad writers have a very limited bag of tricks. Kurtzman thinks being a foul-mouthed alcoholic makes a character complex, Lucasfilm thinks it's clever and subversive when a well loved character is dragged through the mud for the umpteenth time.
Timestamps
0:00 Mauler’s Book
0:30 Ageism
0:55 Sky Drifting
1:36 Movies Made To Be Forgotten
2:39 Bugs
3:09 Rags Holiday Season
4:08 General Thoughts
17:42 The Spear Of Destiny
52:50 Professor Jones
1:17:04 Helena Shaw
1:18:18 The Villain
1:23:40 Hellena Shaw
1:29:19 The See Ay Hey + Nat See Alliance
1:37:13 Helena Show
1:41:08 Framed & Trapped
1:42:28 CG Waller-Bridge
1:44:18 The Best Moment In The Whole Movie
1:47:08 Escapes, Captures & The Hood Paradox
1:57:28 The Interview
1:58:58 Wanted
2:00:17 Salah
2:04:50 Destroying The Dial
2:06:09 A Weird Shot
2:08:45 Marocco
2:09:34 Teddy
2:14:05 Hellen Slow
2:17:40 Thank God, The Natsee Are Here!
2:19:57 Police, Guns, And The Mob
2:24:51 Excape
2:25:31 The Chase
2:33:30 Gary Leaves
2:35:15 The Chase Goes On And On And On And On
2:39:32 Hellera Shrow
2:40:32 Natsee & Ceeayhey
2:43:33 Jokes & Sadness
2:46:39 Antonio Banderas
2:48:25 Hallera Sbrow
2:53:55 A Good Harrison Ford Scene & How To Ruin It
2:58:16 Explosive Moments
3:00:49 Swimming, Submerging & Summarizing
3:04:06 Hot & Drawned
3:05:33 Misuse Of Characters
3:08:48 An Uncomfortable Situation
3:11:56 The Boat
3:15:47 The Right Direction
3:19:00 Selective Kidnapping
3:20:33 Low Standards
3:21:31 Fuel
3:22:02 The Cave
3:28:31 The Bridge
3:30:22 Underwater
3:32:20 A Familiar Backstory
3:35:00 Slowly Falling Down Into Incomprehensible Gibberish
3:38:18 The Tomb
3:41:59 The Bike
3:42:51 Objective, Mechanics & The Implications The Time Travelling
3:48:06 Wallera Sbrowdge
3:55:00 The Drift & The Portal
3:59:07 The Closed Loop
4:01:05 The BC Airplane
4:03:44 Foreshadowing
4:05:10 The Stupidest Part Of The Movie
4:08:31 A Confused & Irrational Conclusion For The Bad Guys
4:09:33 Continental Drifting, Time Shifting & Portal Theories
4:14:16 Waller Sbridge
4:16:08 Crash Landing
4:17:06 Archemedies
4:17:50 Indiana Jones And The Last Jedi
4:21:30 The Funny Punch
4:23:17 Back To The Present
4:29:20 A Weird Ending
4:32:11 Box Office
4:38:17 How's The movie & How It Compares With The OT
4:39:31 Multiverse & Time Travel
4:40:27 The Future & A Present Full Of Failures
4:48:26 Final Evaluation
4:49:15 Videogames
4:50:03 Recommendation
4:51:08 The Hat
4:52:04 Waller Bridge
4:52:30 Remembering Rags
4:53:07 The Little Platoon
4:53:44 JonCJG
4:54:28 Metal
4:55:54 Next Movies
4:57:05 Metal, Fringy & Mauler's Projects
4:58:06 What's Next?
4:59:17 Nolhan And What Are You Looking For In A Movie To Be Efapped
5:01:23 Closing With A Funny Meme
The Goat
Looking forward to em'
@@PersonYayyy
@@amanibob1416 doing it in real-time. just refresh.
@@JulianDoe you’re the greatest
Listened to this live. Best bit is realization that the objective of the film is for Indiana Jones to save Hitler.
Finally, a film where Indy sides with the good guys
Well, he once got the man's autograph. Clearly he's a fan...
Saving him because he's still gonna make the mistakes that will lead to his downfall, as opposed to one who knows enough of what has happened to do better. Not to defend this film, but at least give that some credit of why that is done.
I read the early leaks for this film and one of them said that Indy has to save Hitler and I thought that was a joke…
@@motherplayer
Give it credit for some predictable ass time travel plot line that’s been done to death billion times in better movies and Tv show(but still annoying every time it’s done)? Lol just say you’re tryna defend the film and be about your way sir.
We need a new word for films like this. The type of corporate bad that results from committee writing, reshoots, reedits, agenda pushing, and reliance on green screen and overworked and underpaid cgi artists. Films like this, Star Wars Episode 9, Multiverse of Madness, etc. Back in the day, a “bad” film typically resulted from a subpar script or general low quality production issues. Now we have sort of the opposite, NO script and overproduced nonsense leading to something that doesn’t even feel like an attempt at a film. Best I can come up with is “product.”
The term is called garbage
An unbridled black hole of suck?
"product" or "content" is too general and confusing. Maybe it can be called "sludge"
How about a “poo-vie” instead of movie?
We already have one. It’s called sludge. Garbage works too.
Indy says in this movie that he doesn’t believe in fantastical stuff, even though he’s come face to face with the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, and Aliens.
And the temple of doom stuff
He is as devout an atheist as Richard Dawkins, who said that even if the clouds parted and the voice from The Ten Commandments proclaimed he was God and so on, he would prefer to decide that he'd gone insane than to consider God might actually be real, because "that is more likely". Same for Indiana Jones, apparently. It's just more reasonable to suppose that he starts going on an adventure and then has a psychotic episode.
Indy witnessed proof of the existence of God _twice._ He has no right still being a skeptic.
Why does he says he's been searching for this his whole life when the flash back literally shows him just accidentally finding it when he's 40
@@o00nemesis00oThat would make both Indiana and Dawkins less logical and more dogmatic when they can be given irrefutable proof capital G God exists…and then disregard it entirely.
Shit man, I wish I could be so far up my own ass to be that smug.
I like that MauLer voices Helena like a female Stewie Griffen, makes her somewhat enjoyable.
😆
Ah, yes. Indiana Jones and the Diarrhea of Disney.
That’s it, that’s the one
oooh thays a good one
Harrison Ford only returned to do the sequels if he died, didn’t bother shaving for TROS, but was fully on board doing Dial of Destiny
I’m pretty sure Ford has said that he likes Indiana Jones, but hates Han Solo
@@harrydubois6619 yeah theirs plenty of clips where states how little he cares for Star Wars lore which makes Han Solo cooler in a meta sense
If you order a different dish from the same restaurant that seasons their food with rat poison, you surely will get a better meal
@@amadoromero4823I’m hoping they put horse tranquilizers in one at some point. Really spice things up
He made Indy and Han both divorced deadbeat dads. Harrison is an idiot if he’s not malicious.
I can’t believe Kathleen Kennedy did ANOTHER self insert female British brunette character who’s better than all the old men around her.
Why are they always British?
I can. She's gone to plaid.
Who outshines a beloved hero who's old and disillusioned who wants to be left to decay.
I wonder...
Is the erasure of gingers a Disney thing, or has everyone been doing that?
I'm just wondering if KK doesn't like certain types of people.
@@TaoScribble Oh it's everyone. For some reason, Hollywood has decided that gingers are the perfect black substitute: Comic book characters and other fictional characters. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
Imagine if they said Short Round was killed in Japan’s Unit 731 or something lmao
Disney is so tone deaf that could be a legit possibility
I cant believe Short Round died in Hiroshima
No.
Worse.
"Short Round emigrated to the USA, but was mistaken for Japanese. He perished in an Internment Camp."
*THAT* is what Disney would do.
Disney would not let a plot hole interfere with the making of this movie
The point of the CIA stuff was to shoehorn a Black woman into the plot for diversity points. In which case, it should have been the Phoebe Waller-Bridge character, but since the Jones replacement is a Kathleen Kennedy self-insert, she had to be an average-looking, brunette white Mary Sue with an attitude.
I still think it was also some political caltrop trying to conflate the US government and Nazis.
Easy ESG money.
XD okay so. Slightly weird question. 1960s. Would the CIA even field her? Like without some degree of oversight anyway? They are handing her off to manage a former Nazi...soooo if she figures that out or knows that, is it possible she might just go "Oh he uh....tripped into a gun 3 times."
These diversity quotas are actually mandatory at the big studios now, along with other "rules," such as no male mentors for a female character, etc. Look no further as to why these movies continue to suck.
The plotpoint of "the CIA joins forces with the nat-socs" is honestly the only remotely believable thing in this movie.
Sounds like Voller’s introduction in 1969 might as well have been the Monty Python sketch about Mr. Hilter and his friends setting up shop in the small English village. “Not much fun in Stalingrad… no…” 😆
HILTER. Mr Hilter! And his friend Ron Vibbentrop.
@@christophersmith8316 And Mr German Hörring of course
So this movie’s actually a rejected script from the tv series _Heil, Honey! I'm Home!_ that somehow got put in here?
One thing I noticed with a lot of these new sequels of a long running franchise is that our protagonist is now a lot more reliant on "luck" to get out of situations instead of their wits and courage. Indy got out of a lot of dire situations cuz the Russians were incompetent, and he lucked out over and over in Crystal Skull. Then it happened again in Pirates 5 with Jack Sparrow. It's like writers these days don't know how to write a character outsmarting their opponents so they have to rely on "the enemies missed all their shots" " a certian something just happened right next to the protagonist and annihilated the enemies without harming the good guy, or something random happened and got the protagonist out of the area"
A writer can't write a character smarter than they are.
"Thank God! It's the Nazis!"
-MaüLer Löngmann
MauLür Langmensch
@@Beuwen_The_Dragon That's what they called him back in Germany.
See also: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure fans in the second arc.
pretty funny that when english speaking people wanna immitate german, they're more closely to norwegian or swedish 😅
@@hariman7727What's that line they use "Didn't expect to see the Third (or Fourth) Reich here"? Or something close to that effect.
If they were determined to tell a tale where Indi lost his spark, it would have been so much better if adult Short Round found himself in the US and flung Indi into a whirlwind adventure where he progressively got his mojo back, working through his pain with a surrogate son in tow.
That sounds fun. :)
This movie sells the virtues of elder abuse.
Mike Stoklasa, is that you?
I just love the fact that we now have yet another Lucasfilm movie where the good guys only win because the bad guys aren’t smart enough to fly their flying machines upwards..
At least they figured out surnames this time...
"Maybe the real Hitler were the friends we've made along the way..."
-Bilbo Baggins
"True."
Frodo Skywalker, esquire
@@amanibob1416"Destroyed with facts and logic."
-Abraham Lincoln
All the Hitlers from the multiverse team up to fight Captain Marvel.
'They are Earths only hope'
@@Kernwadi
Alright, that combination had me giggling like a mo-fo...
Ps: "Two scores...
Exercise is essential for human health
- Stephen Hawking
Indiana Jones and the Pile of Dysentery is the best movie since Star Wars: The Last Cowpie.
Voller gets a steam achievement notification on the corner of his screen: *SPACE COMPLETED*
Lando's way worse because they just happen to bump into him in THE GALAXY.
Indy and Sala are confined to the same planet and they still thought it was worth a phone call to set up.
1:57:40
Saying "We went to the moon, thus we conquered space" is pretty much the same as discovering The Americas, building a single shack then proclaiming that all of America is conquered.
Or Caligula "conquering" Britannia by making his men collect seashells the moment they reached the shore.
Went and saw this with my Dad for his birthday in the theater. Before the movie started the theater played like this little thing that "only villains leave there phone on in the theater". And they were displaying a whole bunch of villains in media including Phoebe WB. Don't know if she was a villain in any other movie, but she definitely is one in this movie.
Was he disappointed with the movie?
@@laughingseagull000 No, he thought it was better than Crystal Skull.
@@SugarRayDnoooooooo
@@laughingseagull000 I knooooow lol
I saw that exact ad lol
Reminder that it could have been worse. The original script for the final act was past Indiana Jones getting killed, causing old man Indy to get erased from history, which leads to British lady hopping through time recreating his adventures to avoid a paradox.
I feel bad for whoever got fired for telling that banshee how awful that would've been. I don't even care about Indiana Jones and that would hurt me.
Can you provide actual evidence for that conspiracy ah original script cuz a Nazi online told me thanks lol citation please
@@thomasmuandersontheneousul4184 who is the Nazi?
@@thomasmuandersontheneousul4184 Hope Kathleen sees this bro.
@@soggy2496 Man trying to get a job at Lucasfilm by white knighting for KK 😆
It's like a nice little bonfire watching session... Only a funeral burning...
Mum, bring out da marshmallows!
More like you thought you had a funeral pyre for grandpa years ago but just realized a necromancer stole the body and animated it to do twisted acts to mock life in general and his life in particular.
@@jmass4207
Still... Marshmallows.
Sallah broke my heart. His speech about missing the ocean and adventure was lovely, and then Indy just leaves him. Sallah is going to die an old, ignominious man driving cabs in NYC instead of going on one last adventure with his dear friend. Pathetic.
4:09:00 Continental drift used to be millions of years ago going at less than 1cm a year, and now travel up to 10 cm a year. On average, 1-2 cm for some plates.
And with the power of metric, multiplying by 2,000 years being this easy (thanks metric), that's 20 m on the low side, 40 m on the high side, and up to 200 m on the extreme end.
A Ju88 bomber, at 370 kph cruising, is going ~100 m/s. It is within blink and you'll miss it territory.
Also, yeah, curvature of the earth? Eratosthenes, who lived a little before Archimedes, already got the circumference of the Earth (along the N-S line of longitude, not across E-W) within 1% error probably while he was at the Library of Alexandria ~240 BC. The Battle of Syracuse was 213-212 BC. So he probably got most of his stuff right.
☝️NEEEEERRRRDDD!!!
This conversation just reminds me of the first indiana jones movie, where this dude with a sword comes out and does his little "im gonna swing my sword around cuz grr", and indie just pulls his gun and shoots him completely unscripted because he felt like shit the day they recorded it. He was supposed to have a cool fight scene lol
Imagine being George Lucas at that John Williams performance and seeing the Wicked Witch of Lucasfilm who destroyed your life’s work and inserted herself in the center.
Awkward? More like pissed, disappointed, anger, sadness, pity, etc.
Way to kill a joke.
@@Leon_K_24Did you write the dial of destiny? With a joke that bad...
Better than yours.
Oh boy, more autistic fanboys bizarrely choosing to dickride George again, as if he wasn't the one who sold Star Wars to begin with.. If you really think George isn't content living the rest of his life retired and sitting his fat ass on a throne made of fat stacks that will last his family generations, then I've got a bridge to sell you.
Canonically, Indiana Jones birthday is on July 1st, the day this breakdown (autopsy more like it) premiered. So sad to see Indy savaged even worse than the last fake film.
Just like Rings of Power releasing on Tolkien's death day.
@@GeraltofRivia22 Rings of Power released on Tolkien's DEATH day.
@@aquapendulum whoops, yeah it did. That's what made it even more insulting.
I honestly feel like this movie should've been about Mutt (Shia Leboeuf) taking up the reins of Indy. The story could even be something similar to uncharted 4 where it is a simple and grounded treasure hunt (no Gods or curses). You could have Indy cameo in a simple scene of being a professor/assistant dean (based on KotCS I think) and he hands Mutt his notes
seems like that didn’t happen because Shia is a little nuts and the backlash to Crystal Skull but passing the whip down or recasting Indy and keeping him in the 30s-40s was always the right move but Disney just sees the franchise as Harrison Ford
@@dr.henrykillinger1027 still a shame the couldn't just find a replacement for shia just killing him seem cheap
Nah, Mutt was almost as annoying as this insufferable Mary Sue. There should never have been any more movies after the third. But if there had to be, then Shortround would've been the right person to pass the torch to.
They should have brought Mutt back recast with Chris Pratt. He is a highly bankable action star and he looks more like Harrison Ford than Shia LaBeouf. You could easily just say he changed in the last 12 years. Have Short Round work with him as his mentor with old Indy in a smaller role closer to Henry Jones Sr in Crusade and people would have been on board.
@@coolman229agreed on the chris Pratt recasting as indy. He seems perfect for the role. I also liked shia as mutt tho so take my opinion with a grain of salt. Just makes more sense to recast indy like a James bond type character instead tying it to Harrison Ford.
Platoons first, exhausted, depressed and confused words really set the stage
2:25:46 How do you have Heather Shaw established as a character who despises what her father and godfather did in the previous films and expect us to like her? She has the most uncharitable view of Indy's escapades, and because he's not Indiana Jones and is an Indiana Joke, he never defends himself or Toby's actions, and Heather gets to trot off, satisfied with the fact that she denigrated her godfather that she clearly hates. The people that approved of that scene have never had that kind of conversation before and had someone defend their character.
Nice you didn't pay attention lmao
Exactly. But what do you expect from a soulless film.
I love how MauLer's impression of Helena is Stewie Griffin!!!
3:52:12 Even better... imagine the debriefing he'll have to give once the Feds/CIA catches up to him...
"I saved the world... make all this murder stuff go away!"
"How?"
"I stopped someone from going back in time and killing Hitler!"
"Excuse you... you WHAT?!?!?!?"
"You don't understand. He actually wanted to take Hitler's place, so it isn't that bad that I stopped him."
"How much worse could that guy have possibly been?!"
So excited for this movie. I remember watching the original films as a kid thinking how much better they'd be if he were 80.
3:33:41 "He died in Vietnam! He enlisted with the VietCong just to spite me... the little bastard wasn't even Vietnamese!"
Disney went from Heaven’s Gate w/ Star Wars to drinking the Kool Aid in Indiana Jonestown!
I don't think Heavens Gate was a bad film though. I just think it was the wrong film for UA to go all in on. The ST and this new Indiana Jones are character assassinations. But it's the characters that the studio was built on. I don't really have a counterpoint. I just Heavens Gate gets a bad wrap.
@@ethanbradley2089 ...........are you drunk?
Why would the folklore interpret the plane as a dragon? The Greeks and Romans weren't living in grass huts with basic tools. They'd interpret it as a boat that flies, surely? It was clearly carrying humans firing weapons. It has wings like a gliding bird. The basic truth of what it is would be obvious, I'd have thought? Why would later generations interpret "flying boat" as "dragon"?
Incomprensible flying thing, with wings and spitting fire and death (machinegun), that can work, especially since the greco-roman definition of dragon is broad as fuck.
@@mxmlnlcdcdffmnt2232 I don't think it is incomprehensible, though. It's a clearly artificial, constructed craft with armed people aboard, a boat that flies (and has wings like a gliding bird). Granted that "dragon" is a broad term, but I just don't see how there would be confusion about the nature of what they were looking at.
@@matthewcollins4773 i mean would the greco-romans at the seige have the words to talk about it? And then had 2000 something years of translation by other people and you could end up with that.
Agreed. The Greeks were the foremost scientists and philosophers in the world for a thousand years and Archimedes personally invented a moving model of the solar system, designed the largest ship in antiquity, had made mirrors into blinding weapons and designed winches on cranes that hooked onto Roman boats during the siege of Syracuse - this actual battle. Archimedes' reputation with machinery was so ironclad that a Roman army that cut dogs in half to send a message gave specific orders that he should be taken alive to prove their glory in overcoming him. There is a zero percent chance that ten thousand men seeing a flying machine giving off explosions in the middle of a battle, on a perfect day without a cloud in the sky, would think it was a mythical animal when there was a legendary genius on the other side that was already hitting them with things they didn't understand.
Lefties think of everyone born before the Industrial Revolution as irrational cavemen.
Fun fact, two people in my cinema not only laughed through the movie, but clapped when it was over. It was the first time I've EVER heard someone clap at the end of the movie. Thought judging by their faces they may have been on edibles
where I am people clap constantly at movies, including during the movie. when i saw Endgame there were people clapping so much i missed most of the dialogue.
@@dr.henrykillinger1027 I dunno where this moronic behaviour of clapping during/after a movie came from. Seems to be common since End Game for some reason.
@@GeraltofRivia22
The last time I heard clapping at the end of a movie in the local cinema, it was for _Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2._ Sad as it is, I think the trend’s been around longer than we think.
Maybe clapping because it was over and they never had to do that again?
@@GeraltofRivia22Been around a lot longer than that. Has happened in my area for as long as I can remember. I'm only 22. So it isn't that long, but it isn't a small amount of time.
I love how Mauler called a Drinking Competition a 'Drinking Fight'. 👌
One thing I realized that made me laugh is how modern Hollywood has taken the happy endings in two of Harrison Ford's major roles (Han Solo and Indie) and made them sad old codgers who are a shadow of their former selves, have seperated from their partner, and also have lost their only kid. What a joke.
Not modern Hollywood. One bitter old woman who is determined to get revenge on the men who made her.
Deckard, Han Solo and Indiana Jones as disinterested old men... wait does Harrison Ford only want to play himself?
😆 the trinity of grumpy old men.
So Indy isn't into space when he's one of the only people on Earth who has seen aliens?
Oh good point tbh
They were actually interdimensional beings. Not aliens from space.
@@willbeard4835Is that confirmed?
@@johannesseyfried7933 ya it's in the movie and Spielberg and Lucas spoke about it
@@willbeard4835 Huh. Guess I then have to watch Crystal Skull again.
The Movie had potential...but it really didn't grip me.
You can hear the edge of vitriol in Mauler's voice whether he puts the effort into a Phoebe Waller-Bridge impression.
I'm glad real Short Round, Ke Huy Quan is doing well, at least.
13:00 I love what Platoon talks about here, and is actually something I've been mentioning quite a bit to people, myself. It's sort of very interesting that Disney purchased things that they don't understand and an irony in them often acting in the way that those properties are designed around speaking against.
This movie made me appreciate The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles even more now.
My canon has a 93-year-old retired Indy telling tales of his adventures to crowds of enraptured youngsters.
After decades of holding back his wildest tales in university he doesnt have to hold back anymore.
They really should’ve just done a movie with Ford as an Old Indy. He’s still happily married to Marion, still teaching, he hasn’t been on an adventure since losing his eye. So he’s in a bit of a dower place. Still wishing to go on adventures, but his body is just not what it used to be. He simply feels unfulfilled with the life of a older man.
Mutt and his wife are off doing something out of state, so he asks Indy to watch his kids. Indy agrees. Hoping having someone else younger around will boost his spirits.
Being young kids, the grandchildren find themselves nosing around through Indy’s office. Much to his annoyance. Worried they’re just going to be playing and possibly damage them. But they just are interested by them. They ask Indy where he got these artifacts.
Indy, realizing that this could be the best way to relive his glory days as a swashbuckling archaeologist, sits them down and tells them about some of his past adventures.
Have it be set up almost like an anthology movie with three mini-stories all with a new actor as Indy. I.e. Anthony Ingruber. Going after Macguffins.
Have the final scene be them out running errands, when a mugger holds them at knifepoint about to rob them. Indy, feels some of his youthful vigor return, and he manages to outwit and knock out the mugger.
I bet that in The Last of Us 3 - Abby is going to invent a time travel machine and use it to *golf* Indiana Jones before he gets old, useless and depressed... spare him the suffering.
She'd actually do something kinda good for once...
Jon would probably love it…
Can she golf Kathleen Kennedy?
@@Сайтамен That would be nice of her.
Or she'll refuse to save her dad after trying to save her dad for some contrived reason, and use the time machine to repeatedly kill Joel. That's what I expect from Cuckmann.
What they should have done is pretty obvious. Indiana Jones is getting older and isn't as physically fit as he used to be, but obviously he's got decades of knowledge and experience to pass on. What should have happened in this film is for Indy to become something of an Obi Wan type mentor figure to a younger Luke Skywalker character.
Can’t have a wise older male character tutoring a younger female lead. Blah blah power dynamics or some shite.
Minus the lying and shitty manipulation of course. Bruce Wayne from Batman Beyond would be better.
I loved the part where Indiana said, "It's Jonesing time" and whipped all over the screen. 11/10, Phoebe Waller Bridge is great as Kathleen Kennedy insert number 536.
So the lesson to take from this is no matter who you marry, they will take 90% of your shit in the divorce.
And 18-21 years of child support, and if you divorced in Commie-fornia, you get to pay LIFETIME alimony. Luckily only one out of 1,000 men are stupid/ignorant/can't control their biology/desperate enough to get married these days.
That has been normal for the last 3 or 4 decades.
Phoebe’s stupid comment “You did it for the buzz” was a reference to when Belloq convinced Indy not to blow up the ark ...
Obviously done for a modern audience so they needed to cut down the achievements of Indy.
Finally, proof that modern movies that are sequels or calls back to older media only watch the first movie/episode/game of that media to get their references.
I think we had plenty proof of that from Multiverse of Madness.
The one thing that really sticks in my mind that BREAKS this movie from the beginning is how Voller got annihilated by the train stop thing. It was like a superhero-level collision. HE WOULD BE DEAD. Absolutely DEAD. No idea how they think he would survive that.
No but remember he "finished" space so physic don't apply to him anymore
“Family was never your strong suit.” - She says this to a man who lost his son in Vietnam.
2:59:00 TLP... dynamite doesn't explode when mishandled. That was the *point* of inventing dynamite. The dynamite mix as an invention was so that you could transport it without too much care, without the vibrations or ambient heat setting it off. Dynamite is an incredibly stable material, and only detonates, as designed, when subject to extremes, with the simplest being ignition via a voltage signal. That's why we have the whole plunger-boom-goes-the-dynamite aesthetic in cartoons.
Aged dynamite does get unstable. TLP did talk specifically about old dynamite.
I remember seeing this with my friend in the cinema and when the Main Bad Guy gets hit on the head at high speed and fells down said speeding train, I joked "Oh, I'm sure he's fine."
And he was... I thought it was magic or some bullshit but nope, dude just... walk it off?
"It wasn't a victory of gravity, it was a defeat of my head"
Yeah I was like dude you should be in a wheelchair at the very least.
Makes you wonder if Indi had a daughter instead of a son would KK kept her around. Clearly KK would have wanted a New female character she can lay claim to. I do believe if Indi had a daughter she would be alive and probably hating her father.
In the young indiana chronicles tv show its shown that he has a daughter. The later 4th movie forgot or erased that and added a son.
From the start how the hell did mads survive at hit to the head moving at the speed of the train lol
Crystal Skull managed to show an older Indy that was past his prime and not as good as he used to be but was still smart and kicked butt.
We used to have movies starring old people (albeit younger than this) where it was “one last adventure, for old time’s sake”. That would’ve been more interesting. Instead, he does it out of obligation and guilt. He was begrudgingly pulled out of retirement. That’s a terrible premise for an action-adventure movie. It’s supposed to be fun and harrowing, not sad and depressing that he has to be trotted out again.
You could have an “I’m too old for this” message underneath, but there still has to be the desire to adventure at the forefront.
6:34
“Ooh time travel THANK FCK WE HAVE SOME MORE TIME TRAVEL”
Metal, you are amazing.
The reshoots seem pretty clear in this movie and almost like they were done to silence arguments from groups like EFAP!
Examples:
People not caring about people dying who they cared about - Inject a reshoot where Indy mentions it
Nobody wants Indy to die for PWB to take over - Well she punches him in the face and saves him instead
Antonio Banderas’ involvement in this film is the only negative consequence the hero experience for their actions. Almost like PWB was supposed to be the one who just figured out they need to go West! Again Disney heard the backlash but couldn’t convince PWB let Indy figure it out so they invented a new character for the reshoots!
I’m sure there are more examples but I haven’t seen the film, just going off of the coverage here!
There was a part where Indy got shot in the chest. But he survived the entire last sequence fight which was just a did the writers forget?
I listened to this as it went out, or at least 2 hours of it before sleep claimed me. I've been following EFAP for over 18 months & listened to as much as possible. I can't remember an EFAP where the panel were more muted or where it appeared from the voices that everyone seemed downcast, as if the air had been taken from the room.
the power of modern cinema
They don’t get angry anymore, they’re just tired…
I guess all the Nazis getting killed and punched depressed Mauler
@@thomasmuandersontheneousul4184 The movie is literally about saving Hitler. If anything, Indy punched more Nazis in the other films.
You get punched enough you get numb to the pain.
rags is unavailable? THANK GOD... probably the best EFAP in a veery long time.
Ik. Can't stand smug @ss rags.
Now that I think about it, Mauler was right. Helena does play every scene like she knows she's in a movie and she has to keep the audience interested.
4:28:58 It was Heron, a greek mathematician-engineer in Alexandria who created what could be described as the first steam engine, there were also other applications that could be described as steam engines in a wide sense, there was a mechanism in an ancient greek temple that used steam to open the big heavy doors of the temple.
The major issue with what the ancient civilizations would find after our guys left is that while yeah they could examine the weapons and the aircraft and understand a few things there is no way to replicate anything because the metallurgy in ancient times was simply shit and examining the steel in the weapons or the aluminum on the aircraft's body with what they had at hand wouldnt result in much.
By the time the industrial revolution happened we had made advancements in metallurgy and then precision tooling and machining became a thing.
Interesting observations, but if you look at what the "elite" ancient societies crafted out of stone and glass, I think they would have been able to make use of it in some way. (At least as "Cliffs Notes" for mechanical engineering.) I would be interested to see a Ford Model T engine made out of Bronze Age materials. The only part I think they would have real trouble with is the valve springs. But there are other engine designs that don't rely on those, so maybe they would have figured something out.
Quick note about the bends: it's caused by absorbed oxygen in the blood experiencing reduced pressure and becoming a gas. It happens if you acclimate to increased pressures, so if you dive quickly and come up quickly it doesn't happen. This is how people can dive to over 200m depth without gear (look up "deepest unassisted dive").
Wait ... Why was this movie called the Dial of Destiny?? What destiny was fulfilled? Archimedes said “This was always going to happen!” but what, he made a Dial to bring people back to see his final battle?? If he knew what happened was always going to happen then why did he just follow the path to his death just so someone from the future can come see it?!?!?!
Hey man, he invented a *time machine*, don't knock it just because it was invented and used just for the hell of it.
You aren't meant to think, or use your brain, or try to make sense of this nonsense. This movie wasn't made for you. It was made so Kennedy could self insert herself destroying another man who is better than her in every conceivable way.
😂 True, why wouldn't he have just used it to keep redoing battles, send people to predict the future or influence enemies...
Maybe those who have the dial hold the world's destiny in their hands?
That's the only somewhat interesting explanation I could come up with.
For obvious reasons they couldn't call it the Dial of Doom.
@@Neo-Vandole well....would that possibly effect your life or lives of those you know? You would possibly alter those family bloodlines by changing the world political state.
Are Phoebe Walker-Bridge and Emilia Clarke fighting to see who can be the greatest murderer of franchises?!
Kathleen Kennedy wins easily.
At least Emilia is cute. Fleabag has no redeeming characteristics.
Don't blame actors for the poor choices of writers and producers.
Clarke is likeable at least, whatever-bridge is obnoxious
@@ianhines2302 I do feel bad for Clarke. It seems like she just happens to be in a franchise just as it takes its last breath and dies. I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose like Phoebe Waller-Bridge!
1:03:30 Platoon on point again. From what we knew of Mutt, it makes little sense for him to join the army, as he was a bit rebellious and by the end of Crystal was looking like he wanted to follow in Indy's adventuring shoes. It further makes little sense for him to join to spite Indy. That doesn't just make little sense. It seems absurd for both Mutt and Indy. It seems bad for Mutt because, while he's a bit rebellious, he doesn't seem the kind that would be rebellious of his father by going to war, putting his life in danger and going into the killing fields just to spite anyone, let alone Indy. By the end of Crystal Skull, Mutt and Indy were beginning to have a good relationship and Mutt was beginning to see Indy for the good man he was and look up to him. For Indy, I don't think I'd believe that he would be that opposed to Mutt enlisting or going to Vietnam, at least in the early years of the war. The whole thing is kind of important to the setup and conclusion to the movie and I just don't buy it, based on these particular characters. Other characters, sure. Not these ones. Further, Mangold has recently said that the reason Mutt was left out was because this story was about Indy and Helena, and including Mutt would've over-complicated things... so they just killed him. Allllllriiiiight.
I also agree that I would greatly prefer that the artifact may have been a more well known one - such as the spear of destiny - and that time travel might not be involved at all. But, the Antikythera is a real thing. Obviously not involved in time travel. Really, there's not anything supernatural about it, even in legend. That's completely made up. It's extremely fragile and was found in 1901 - another difference from other Indy artifacts, as it wasn't a legend at all until it was actually found, where Indy artifacts are often objects of pure legend that've never been found. It is interesting in that it's a geared mechanism that seems uniquely advanced for its time, with nothing coming close to its level of sophisticated mechanics being known to exist for at least several hundred years later anywhere in the world. But, like, why the fuck would the artifact of the movie be something that was discovered and has been in a museum long before it's ever introduced in the movie? It doesn't just belong in a museum. It's been in a museum almost as long as we've known about it. Decades before this movie takes place. Whyyyyy???
1:50:00 Correct. Nothing in the previous films happens that would necessarily be known or noticed by anyone not involved. It's believable that it could have happened and we just didn't know. Not public displays that are televised.
In response to discussing the point where the group finds something rather easily in middle of a tourist attraction, a comment in chat is made that Petra, the location used at the end of Last Crusade, is a well-known tourist attraction.
The difference there would be that it's not Petra in the movie. Petra is located in Jordan and there's more than the one cliffside carving. In the movie, it's not named Petra and it's presented as being in a more secluded canyon in Turkey. It may seem unlikely that it would have been largely undiscovered, but the movie presents it so and more believably so than the actual Petra location.
3:00:00 There was an episode of MacGyver from the 80s where he transported a crate full of TNT from the 1800's, with the nitro bleeding out of it.
*Steven Spielberg slaps Dial of Destiny in the face, points finger*
"That's for blasphemy."
I looked at this film like taking your dog out for their best day ever before you have them put down. The dog is having a good time and just can't get enough, and you're holding back tears through the facade of a smile, knowing that it's over. Sleep now Indy, you were a good friend, time for sleep.
I still have no idea who Phoebe Waller Bridge is.
My girlfriend wanted to go watch this movie, so I used the line "it's a movie made by people who liked the last jedi, for the people who liked the last jedi". She no longer wants to watch it
Lil Platoon is like the Stephen Fry of the EFAP crew... It seems like whichever topic comes up, he has some knowledge or insight on it.
He's like the upper class version of Mauler.
@@andrewconrad2859he's Mauler's Edgeworth.
@@Neo-Vandole tbf I'm English and my pool of knowledge is not world conquering worthy!
Disney is incapable of giving our beloved characters a happy ending. They destroyed Luke Skywalker, and now Indiana Jones
Spear Of Destiny?! That’s a Wolfenstein sequel!
I love how they said they're going to stop calling her Phoebe waller-bridge but keep calling her Phoebe waller-bridge lol
You can Dial For Destiny, but you won’t get ET phoning home!
Holy cow! I got an ad for Applebee's Indiana Jones free ticket included with any order 35 dollars or more!
Just like Star Wars, German planes don't know which direction up is.
I wouldn't be surprised if they originally wrote Indy to stay in the past to die and test audiences hated it, so they panicked and wrote a slapdash ending where he gets the girl.
Having the gall to make a part 5 of a series no one even wanted a part 4 of is bad enough, but to utterly disintegrate Indy is the most vilely reprehensible offense imaginable. If they had given him the honorable, respectful treatment that Tom Cruise received on Maverick, this movie would likely have been a massive success.
You know what could have made this villain interesting? What if, instead of being a Nazi, this was an idealist historian who had suffered under Nazi rule, saw anyone who would instigate a war as evil, and since learning of the dial had obsessively studied every major war in history, including every cause and lead-up to them? His evil goal is to do anything it takes, no matter how evil, to get the dial and go back in time to stop all war and create what he thinks is a pacifist utopia. Jones, being an older man with more intelligence and wisdom, understands that as awful as it is, war has been a central point throughout human history, and there is no possible way of knowing what we would even look like without it. Jones is forced to stop a man doing what might seem like a positive thing, to preserve the history he's spent his whole life studying and understanding
That's a really clever idea.
Really awesome idea compared to what these shitty writers came up with. Can't believe that these shitty corporations are hiring literally the WORST storytellers of all time. Random fans at home can make 1000x better stories, characters, and dialogue than these overpaid hacks... 💀
Making Short Round Indy's successor would have been pretty cool. I imagine something like "Armour of God" I + II starring Jackie Chan.
'Indiana Jones and the Dial of Dementia: An Unbridled Snore' when?
An Unbridled ‘Why....?’
53:32 "What are we even supposed to be aspiring to here? The point of Indiana Jones is that this is a character that you want to embody; this is someone that you really want to grow up to be like, not someone that makes you fear growing up."
As much as I love Harrison Ford in this role, I've never felt that he can be the only Indiana Jones and, sorry Harry, but you're old. I just watched Shrinking and enjoyed him in that. Indiana Jones was never meant to be played by the same guy for 42 years. We're not meant to think "Man, his bones be crackin'. He's really too old for this. He's making me feel kinda sad for him." Maybe it's a bit ageist, but treasure hunting and fighting Nazis are a younger man's game. His trilogy was an all-time great. But I've ALWAYS felt that Indy should be more like a Bond type character. It's been a minute since I've seen them, but Sean Patrick Flanery played Young Indiana Jones and I thought those were great. As a matter of fact, that means that Sean has played Indy more than Harry has.
Harrison would always be the original and might always be the best, but this idea that actors own characters just doesn't make sense with the profession of acting. Indy should an enduring thing that can have as many adventures as we can think of. Pratt would've made a GREAT Indy, if the scripts didn't suck. Of course, he's 44, now, so I'd say he'd even only have a few years left to do it before aging out of the ideal zone. He still looks kinda young, but Ford was 47 when Last Crusade was released.
Of course, I would wager that it would suck no matter what in this day and age, produced by Disney and current LucasFilm.
I know that Rags’s’s death was hard on everyone, but we could’ve had a moment of silence for him instead of pretending nothing happened
ohh.. 😢🐶😔
This is made all the more sad, when you realize that Tom Cruise is about to be made out to be an absolute badass in the upcoming Mission Impossible, and the dude is in his 60s.
Longman: well if Indy just tells the police that the CIA did it, then they'll have to admit to it.
Me, an American: well yes... fifty to eighty years later, give or take a few decades, long after Indy would have expired in prison.
2:00:00 that indie anna jones comment in the chat is severely underrated!
Я индианка.
А я ИндиПетька.
The film's ending feels like a reshoot because it's possibly is. There were leaks about a time travelling Indiana Jones where Indy stays in the past and Phoebe Waller-Bridge taking up the mantle of Indiana Jones, and when it came out, and Mangold had big overreaction over it seeing the backlash and I think they really wanted to make PWB the new Indy but Disney backed out seeing the reaction to the leak. But that's just a theory.
4:32:12 They would have had to drag him back onto the plane... go through the portal... land the plane... drag him off it... steal a car... somehow drag him ALLLLLL the way back to NYC (good luck getting HIM through customs) and then back into his bed... did they EVER take him to an offical hospital? Cause I would assume that he'd be handcuffed to a bed at that point...
Also... how is the fake spear from the beginning of the movie there?
Could you imagine if it was all a fevered drinking-induced coma dream?!?!?! And that NONE of this movie actually happened?
Mutt: "Dad? You're okay? Mom told you to not drink so much alcohol while you watch TV...."
Indy: "I just had the most horrible nightmare! You were dead, your mother divorced me, I was wanted for Murder and I suddenly had a british goddaughter who threw sticks of dynamite around!"
I love it! Retcon it all back to non-canon.