NTA they ignored you when you needed them and now because you have this nice beach house they expect you to take care of them. Nu uh. it's your house your rules
Eff that! Make it $100 for adults and $50 for children per night. You know they will expect you to cook and clean for them. Get the payment up front and get everything in writing. Length of stay, expectations, damages, etc...just like a hotel.
oH no Even that's not enough. THAT family doesn't understand boundaries at all. A blind person could see in advance all the members of this family don't respect OP, so they can't be trusted, to everything that could potentially happen would just be dismissed by saying it's just an accident, we're on vacation, it's okay because it's just OP's place and would take every advantage as possible - and trash the place. As in letting kids run amok (amuck), so what if they caused damage, they're just kids playing, - or without regard to the fact OP would want peace and quiet - her parents potentially but more than likely siblings and spouses being lazy about cleaning up after themselves and their families, so instead of enjoying the time there, OP would be cleaning up after everyone else and it was said the family would be expecting her to do all the cooking. No. Just No. OP in my opinion, in this situation would definitely need to have a contract signed and notarized, the dates that are visiting and only visit. They're not going to get squatter's rights because they stayed 2 weeks. There's going to be a charge upfront, in full, to cover a handyman on call, and extra to cover in a separate account for any additional fees, if there's no damage to be paid for They get it back. An additional amount for a maid or cleaning services daily, and a chef or catering company to do all the meals, it's all estimated with extra amounts for incidentals. Just like you said paid for as if it's a hotel. Everyone pays their share divided equally, no discount for kids, kids get sick, and what if they were being sick everywhere, you'd need those cleaning services quick. Depending on where the vacation home is located, would you potentially need emergency assistance how long is that going to take or cost? Add it up, divided by everyone, they contribute cash money, on a weekly or payment plan process, directly to OP, who gets to invest the money in a basic high yield interest savings account or a REALLY low risk stocks investing or both - and after a year All the money is there and available to OP for The Family vacation. Anything left in the account will roll over accruing for the next years vacation, and if At any point something needs maintenance or repairs, money from this account is available. WHY? Because OP bought the house for them, without assistance from the family, if something needs to be taken care of OP would have on their own but they now want access to the house for their vacation, they are expecting Use 3, They should be expected to participate as if they would be paying regularly for a time share. Granted there's provisions for the account in OPs will and adjustments are done if something changes to the list of people attending or not. I've been Way too trusting of other people, That yes, including relatives, that did things that you would never Ever expect to be stabbed in the back by their complete disregard for the consequences of their actions - so yes you might not be expecting that they wouldn't be honorable to their words and agreements. In my situations, THEY were not. I no longer trust anyone else to be. I'm highly cautious and have learned to never do anything for anyone else that I wouldn't be okay with not having the situation turn out as planned. But I hope y'all have a wonderful day. 🤗💜
You had every right. They abandoned you when you needed them most. Now they want a free ride on your dime. They can book a hotel, like you said. They are adults. They too can figure it out.
NTA they wouldn't give you a place to live when you needed their help but expect you to give them a vacation place? Umm NO! Tell your brother he ruined family when he wouldn't help you when you were down and out. Your whole family kicked you when you were down. It's time to kick back.
the fact they demanded the master bedroom of op's vacation house and they made the demand that op serves them while she and they are on vacation. those types of demands says they have money to act like that. so op should charge for those demands
NTA I think you should cut contact or just file a restraining order if you don't like there attitude and btw you are in the right make sure you keep that with you
NTA. Just because you are family doesn't give them the right to your vacation home. The entitlement is outrageous. Family doesn't mean anything especially if they are toxic, you choose who want as family.
How you've changed? Yeah, because they can't bully you anymore into doing what they want. They only said that to guilt trip you. Yes, you have changed, but for the better.
Another "am I an a... because I finally step out and I don't want to be a doormat anymore" story. You can think about yourself whatever you want. If you want to sponsor people who abandoned you - you are free to do it. But if you want to regain your self esteem, you have to treat yourself with respect.
no guilt if they want a family trip then they should act like family. not demanding toddlers where were they when you need help. you are not their atm or holiday coordinator
Tell them straight ..My view of family changed when you all turned your backs on me and left me homeless for months ... This is my home , not your free vacation spot
So you are the bad person when they could not be there when you NEEDED them. Now they are tucked at you cause they think you owe THEM something. Life does not work that way. In life. You get what you give.
Hahaha I would laugh till I couldn’t no more.. you worked your whole life and for them to tell you things like that. No way. Stand your ground and be proud for what you have.
No no you did not do the wrong thing they are using you it's their fault they weren't there for their child sing for your siblings they were there for you they do not care about you they are using you you did not do the wrong thing I promise😠
My Dad always wanted a cabin by a lake in Massachusetts. When he and my Mom where able they bought property on a lake in the Adirondack’s . Then built there own designed cabin. One caveat though he didn’t want surprise guests. So, the cabin is a six hour car ride away from the relatives or family friends. In other words they must call before coming. My Dad did great though don’t you think. He got his cabin by a lake . Not in Massachusetts ; but close enough in upstate New York!
Set your boundaries.They're just trying to walk all over you.They want to use you and now that you got something.Just keep remembering when you needed something when you were down.They were not around so bumped that b******* family thing.I keep hearing we're family.We're family.Always we're family when you need something but they don't know you when you ain't got nothing
They ignored you when you needed help, and now that you spent your hard earned income on a cabin they expect to use it free of charge....huh, what did they expect you to do. I'd make sure to put security cameras around the cabin to make sure the family doesn't ruin your investment, because they might if they get salty enough. Besides, $50 per person is arguably a pretty good deal depending on how many rooms they would have rented in a hotel, so hold your ground, protect your investment, and make it clear to them your reasons for charging if you haven't
NtA; they left you at your time of need.. And than when they hear about what you are doing... They are magical noticing you.. They didn't want a family time.. They just wanted you for a free cabin trip and nothing more.. Because how much you wanna bet they would have acted like you didn't exist if they didn't out.. Am betting a nickel because of how they acted entited and then got mad when you made them choose to pay or leave says everything on why they were there..
Seriously sista after the way your family treated you are you fr wondering if you did something wrong? YOU COULDN'T BE bc you know you didn't! Com'on now 🤷🏾♀️
You’re not the a-hole here. Those mfs can screw off with their double standard. If you’re selfish, they are, too. Even more so since your problem seems to have been bigger than theirs.
Do you really think that you did something wrong? If you did all of that sacrificing so that you could have a place of peace for yourself why make it a place of chaos leave your family alone and let them find their own place and you keep your peace. You can’t change people you can only change yourself.
Tell the this isn’t Burger King and No you can’t have it your way. This is my home and if you can’t respect me and it or make other arrangements. But you will not make me feel guilty for setting boundaries.
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NTA good you for you for standing your ground. Tell them where to park it. Your cabin your choice , your rules. Case Closed
EXACTLY
It's not a AITA story
Case closed. I quote: "figure it out"
EXACTLY
Agreed 👍
NTA they ignored you when you needed them and now because you have this nice beach house they expect you to take care of them. Nu uh. it's your house your rules
Its not a beach house btw
@@babycheese1234why does that matter?
Eff that!
Make it $100 for adults and $50 for children per night.
You know they will expect you to cook and clean for them.
Get the payment up front and get everything in writing.
Length of stay, expectations, damages, etc...just like a hotel.
oH no Even that's not enough. THAT family doesn't understand boundaries at all. A blind person could see in advance all the members of this family don't respect OP, so they can't be trusted, to everything that could potentially happen would just be dismissed by saying it's just an accident, we're on vacation, it's okay because it's just OP's place and would take every advantage as possible - and trash the place. As in letting kids run amok (amuck), so what if they caused damage, they're just kids playing, - or without regard to the fact OP would want peace and quiet - her parents potentially but more than likely siblings and spouses being lazy about cleaning up after themselves and their families, so instead of enjoying the time there, OP would be cleaning up after everyone else and it was said the family would be expecting her to do all the cooking. No. Just No. OP in my opinion, in this situation would definitely need to have a contract signed and notarized, the dates that are visiting and only visit. They're not going to get squatter's rights because they stayed 2 weeks. There's going to be a charge upfront, in full, to cover a handyman on call, and extra to cover in a separate account for any additional fees, if there's no damage to be paid for They get it back. An additional amount for a maid or cleaning services daily, and a chef or catering company to do all the meals, it's all estimated with extra amounts for incidentals. Just like you said paid for as if it's a hotel. Everyone pays their share divided equally, no discount for kids, kids get sick, and what if they were being sick everywhere, you'd need those cleaning services quick. Depending on where the vacation home is located, would you potentially need emergency assistance how long is that going to take or cost? Add it up, divided by everyone, they contribute cash money, on a weekly or payment plan process, directly to OP, who gets to invest the money in a basic high yield interest savings account or a REALLY low risk stocks investing or both - and after a year All the money is there and available to OP for The Family vacation. Anything left in the account will roll over accruing for the next years vacation, and if At any point something needs maintenance or repairs, money from this account is available. WHY? Because OP bought the house for them, without assistance from the family, if something needs to be taken care of OP would have on their own but they now want access to the house for their vacation, they are expecting Use 3, They should be expected to participate as if they would be paying regularly for a time share. Granted there's provisions for the account in OPs will and adjustments are done if something changes to the list of people attending or not. I've been Way too trusting of other people, That yes, including relatives, that did things that you would never Ever expect to be stabbed in the back by their complete disregard for the consequences of their actions - so yes you might not be expecting that they wouldn't be honorable to their words and agreements. In my situations, THEY were not. I no longer trust anyone else to be. I'm highly cautious and have learned to never do anything for anyone else that I wouldn't be okay with not having the situation turn out as planned. But I hope y'all have a wonderful day. 🤗💜
Nope, NTA. Good for you for standing your ground.
My response would have been, you're all adults, figure it out. Good for you for protecting YOUR happy place from these gannets.....
NTA do not share they do not deserve anything
Family is the price we pay for not being called orphans. Highly overpriced.
😂 love this 👍 so very very true!
NTA, OP they only care about what you can do for them. Congrats on setting a boundary.
You had every right. They abandoned you when you needed them most. Now they want a free ride on your dime. They can book a hotel, like you said. They are adults. They too can figure it out.
NTA. They ignored you then when there is something you have that they covet, out comes the entitlement. I would cut ties.
NTA they wouldn't give you a place to live when you needed their help but expect you to give them a vacation place? Umm NO! Tell your brother he ruined family when he wouldn't help you when you were down and out. Your whole family kicked you when you were down. It's time to kick back.
the fact they demanded the master bedroom of op's vacation house and they made the demand that op serves them while she and they are on vacation. those types of demands says they have money to act like that. so op should charge for those demands
NTA I think you should cut contact or just file a restraining order if you don't like there attitude and btw you are in the right make sure you keep that with you
You did the right thing by standing your ground
They're adults, they need to figure it out
That sounds like a whole lot of entitlement to me
NTA. Just because you are family doesn't give them the right to your vacation home. The entitlement is outrageous. Family doesn't mean anything especially if they are toxic, you choose who want as family.
How you've changed? Yeah, because they can't bully you anymore into doing what they want. They only said that to guilt trip you. Yes, you have changed, but for the better.
Another "am I an a... because I finally step out and I don't want to be a doormat anymore" story. You can think about yourself whatever you want. If you want to sponsor people who abandoned you - you are free to do it. But if you want to regain your self esteem, you have to treat yourself with respect.
Of course you have changed. You became stronger and weren't willing to tolerate the abuse.
Go ahead, this is the right path!
You are not the a**hole. Your family did not help you in your time of need, so they don’t get rewarded for that crap.
no guilt if they want a family trip then they should act like family. not demanding toddlers where were they when you need help. you are not their atm or holiday coordinator
Yeah you've changed...YOUR SANE NOW CONGRATS
Don't, ur family hates u setting boundaries. Stand ur grpund
I hope someone told them they didn't owe their family jack
Remind them about when you were out of work
Tell them straight ..My view of family changed when you all turned your backs on me and left me homeless for months ... This is my home , not your free vacation spot
NtA ... The should be happy they got to come. Family Trip mean everyone but the kids help pay the bill for the trip
I’d tell them they are All Adults and they can pay their own ways
No, you’re not selfish. They can get a hotel and enjoy themselves and leave you alone😎
If i were you i would have said " no, you are an adult" like what they have told you
Make it 250, and if they refuse, tell them to figure it out.
THE HEAD😭!!
❤❤ NO YOU DID AWESOME
Is no one going to talk about that plankton😭
You changed for good they looked at you as a push over now yiur standing your ground
Is it just me or I was thinking about the sponge bob cake the whole time
They weren't there for you, you just returned the favor
No you are right...
So you are the bad person when they could not be there when you NEEDED them. Now they are tucked at you cause they think you owe THEM something. Life does not work that way. In life. You get what you give.
That's yours girl❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Yes you changed. They taught you how to do figure it out!
Hahaha
I would laugh till I couldn’t no more.. you worked your whole life and for them to tell you things like that. No way. Stand your ground and be proud for what you have.
Good for you.. don't be swayed...
Don't let them take advantage.
No no you did not do the wrong thing they are using you it's their fault they weren't there for their child sing for your siblings they were there for you they do not care about you they are using you you did not do the wrong thing I promise😠
NO you did Right, they didn't helped you back then, why should you give them your out for FREE?!
Would have told them "No. You're adults. Figure it out."
Entitled family time to go low contact with them for a while
My Dad always wanted a cabin by a lake in Massachusetts. When he and my Mom where able they bought property on a lake in the Adirondack’s . Then built there own designed cabin. One caveat though he didn’t want surprise guests. So, the cabin is a six hour car ride away from the relatives or family friends. In other words they must call before coming. My Dad did great though don’t you think. He got his cabin by a lake . Not in Massachusetts ; but close enough in upstate New York!
No you are right : just listen to what you saying and it will all become clear.
This is very of topic but plankton tramatized me and do not share anything they dont deserve you kindess!
Why are they allowed bully you abandon you and you are not allowed to expect respect. I'd bring up where wore you when I was homeless
Set your boundaries.They're just trying to walk all over you.They want to use you and now that you got something.Just keep remembering when you needed something when you were down.They were not around so bumped that b******* family thing.I keep hearing we're family.We're family.Always we're family when you need something but they don't know you when you ain't got nothing
Nah 50 per hour Bec how do you just allow such thing
They weren’t there for you so now you aren’t
They didn't care about you, why should you care about them. They are just trying to use you. You shouldn't even let them stay in the first place.
Tell them “they’re adults” and should have “figured it out” that nothing is free except free loaders.
They ignored you when you needed help, and now that you spent your hard earned income on a cabin they expect to use it free of charge....huh, what did they expect you to do. I'd make sure to put security cameras around the cabin to make sure the family doesn't ruin your investment, because they might if they get salty enough. Besides, $50 per person is arguably a pretty good deal depending on how many rooms they would have rented in a hotel, so hold your ground, protect your investment, and make it clear to them your reasons for charging if you haven't
NtA; they left you at your time of need.. And than when they hear about what you are doing... They are magical noticing you.. They didn't want a family time.. They just wanted you for a free cabin trip and nothing more.. Because how much you wanna bet they would have acted like you didn't exist if they didn't out.. Am betting a nickel because of how they acted entited and then got mad when you made them choose to pay or leave says everything on why they were there..
THEY change you. Now they can LIVE with the NEW YOU!
Nope. Family can kick rocks.
You are the wrong one here
Should’ve charged 100 dollars per person
No 200 per person per hour
@ that’s what we in the bizz call major stonks
Seriously sista after the way your family treated you are you fr wondering if you did something wrong? YOU COULDN'T BE bc you know you didn't! Com'on now 🤷🏾♀️
No OP, your fam sucks & it's not your fault!!
Rem8nd them how they treated you.
She didn't change, they did.
seriously why is there always the feeling guilty
Plankton be mewing💀🙏
💀💀💀💀💀
No you didn't. They're using you.
Good for you
Nta. But family is. They want a free vacation for 2 weeks? BS
Funny how you are greedy and they don’t mention being materialistic, opportunists and entitled 🤔
No way u did the right thing
Nah, they are adults they should figure it on thire own
You’re not the a-hole here. Those mfs can screw off with their double standard. If you’re selfish, they are, too. Even more so since your problem seems to have been bigger than theirs.
That sounds pretty cheap
Guests do not get the master bedroom
I love the doraemon art/craft in the background in the beginning😊
Absolutely not they wouldn't help you out. Now they want you have.
Do you really think that you did something wrong? If you did all of that sacrificing so that you could have a place of peace for yourself why make it a place of chaos leave your family alone and let them find their own place and you keep your peace. You can’t change people you can only change yourself.
They are entitled users. They can get lost
Tell the this isn’t Burger King and No you can’t have it your way. This is my home and if you can’t respect me and it or make other arrangements. But you will not make me feel guilty for setting boundaries.
No.
Um no that's not how it works 😅
You've changed because they showed you that you didn't matter to them and now you're treating them the way they treated you.
Block and delete.
No😊
Nah they r only using u
Tell the that there just sad your not there doormat
NTA
Your an adult figure it out pay or leave . Better yet don't contact me😊
It’s not a AITA story
Plankton cake got me uuuuuhhhhhh
Hel no
You did nothing wrong. Your family is in the wrong. You should tell them how it is and tell tell them what they told you when you needed help
NTA. OP just introduced her family to "Mrs. Be-done-by-as-you-did."
NTA