Finally what I've been waiting for confirmation. This is what I experienced in my childhood EVEN THOUGH we had severe economic hardships and every one had plenty of imperfections!!! Once in a while when gloomiest, boredom or tensions were building up when we kids were frustrated at various brickwalls my father would simply get us to do run and catch around the dining table , he too joining in, though he was in his late 40s. Or its a simple word game challenge or " middle pig". Just 15 minutes lifted up the spirits. Everyone immediately became joyful. It was always possible to " unburden" as soon as we return home. There was play time, work time, family time, and alone time. Individuality was not squashed up for the sake of the group, but was nurtured , to be of help for the group when needed. No one was lazy & indulgent, nor was dominant & bossy. Hard work and empathy was the normal. Then came MASS MEDIA... altering perceptions and creating confusion... poor next gen kids . There is over emphasis on material possessions. Your recommendations don't cost a cent.
I was lucky. I watched my parents live as this book suggests. They held hands and kissed. They danced around the house with each other. They did something new - every single day. They never went to bed angry with each other (Mom said it will still be there tomorrow, but for now, they will rest). They joked and played cards or board games with each other. They were married 65 years. I am so happy they had each other, 'til the very end. For me? I never married and I happily live a single life. My brother is married to a witch and it's his 4th marriage.
@@dbsk06uh, that sounds like it's irrelevant to what chinookvalley is saying. Chinook is simply affirming the things Emma's video covers and contributing that nice, inspiring example they're personally aware of as proof it works. Not that we need proof - the things Emma and the book are talking about are both common sense and neuro science based. I dont need to understand Chinook's own personal experience and personal, individual reasons for being single to appreciate the example of the kind of relationship chinook is sharing and experienced Chinook's parents having as one Emma and the book talks about. This sounds like unproductive, unuseful all or nothing thinking. All or nothing thinking can produce faulty, limiting conclusions like your implying because it makes you literally think either everything works a certain specific way or nothingng works at all. You're implying because this person is single (for what are likely really good reasons but just unknown ro you) that somehow invalidates what Emma's taking about, what this book covers, that these things do work - and at least definitely help - and make sense, and that Chinook's being single (apparently some kind of failure in your eyes) somehow invalidates that Chinook's parents' marriage was a successful example of the very stuff covered in this video. You sound as if there's: 1) something wrong with being single, wanting to be single, or even just being happily single, 2) that there couldn't possibly be any good or reasonable reasons why anyone could even be single in the first place, when there are millions of reasons. I mean I can think of so many just off the top of my head right now - are you saying you can't? Seriously? As an extreme example of just one of those millions of reasons, I know a female doctor who growing up, watched her mom die of early Huntington's disease - a truly horrifying, crippling living nightmare of a disease) and she carries the same (dominant) gene making it inevitable for her and she decided there was no way she'd have children and pass it on or put a family and spouse through what she saw her mom go through. And when the disease gets to a certain point with herself, she has her affairs in order and a trip planned to a clinic in Switzerland where they provide euthanasia - where it's legal and medically available.
Joy marriage: - transactional relationship - relationship brain 1. Play 2. Considere of feelings and emotions 3. Daily appreciation 4. Rhythm = routine to keep it loving and happy
Lol I love the bloopers. I used intentional appreciation to fall in love with the new town I moved to - it was a whole different ecosystem than I was used to. I had moved from the west coast rainforest to high desert. To make it harder, I went through a difficult breakup right after the move (loved him so much). My purposeful intent to find things to appreciate about my new home really helped.
This very much reminds me of the story / cognitive example of "which of the two fighting wolves (one fear and hate, one optimism and positive) in our head will win? The one we feed / focus on".
I loved the outtakes at the end. You seem so polished and at ease in your presentation, I'm glad to see you have "outtakes" in your day just like the rest of us.
So Very Timely! Thank you. We, as a couple have heightened stress and major interruptions to our schedules (adult children have had to relocate to our place for work-at-home) and I have found myself majoring in Problem Solving mode vs Relational. This not only alerted me but gave me tools and a reference to go to for more. And here I was just exploring your content to address Anxiety (Problem-solving). Thank you.
I definitely did buy the book after watching this review first and I have to say, the book was absolutely phenomenal! There are so many different ideas packed into this short read and it really feels like I'm getting an education about what good steps in a relationship look like! I grew up with divorced parents and I never really got to see what a marriage is supposed to look like until now, I am happy that I finally know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look and feel like
waw i'm so happy i found your channel, your voice is so soothing and relaxing and the informations you give are amazing never heard before. Thank you so much for this video.
What you focus on expands. I will buy the book to focus on the habits. Connecting more then correcting will always improve the relationship. I “appreciate” all your book reviews.
Great stuff. Even as a single with the desire and hope for future marriage, these tips are indispensable for preparation of it. Thank you for the review and your videos Emma!
Thanks for this review. Attatchment style is really something I want to reshape with my own brain plasticity, but I always get scared by books with "spiritual" written on the cover. I worry that they aren't research based, and have ulterior and destructive motives. Based on your review, I will be checking this one out. Thanks so much. I love your channel.
I really enjoy watching your videos. You have a very engaging and down to earth way of explaining things. I just subscribed, and just wanted to say thank you. :)
Hello, I want you to know that your approach and your style and your genuine manner is wonderful. I found you by accident and am so grateful and will of course share with others. Without too much detail, I am like many learning to deal with anxiety. People like you and approaches like yours are going to help people like me. Thank you so much.
Yes thank you so much for this and the grounding exercises. I wanted to add that, being excited about doing things, is so conducive and energizing. A great attitude in showing up. Ty you again. Your TH-cam site made my day. :-)
Marriage and joy is not a phrase that I can wrap my head around anymore. I have been married twice. Marriage is just too hard for me. I don't seem to have the skills to make a marriage work.
Really I came across while I'm watching medidation videos...Thank you for sharing expressing the details about the ideas about relationships...Luv u..please lemme know the relationships to handle our kids too I have a lil son he is 7yrs old and he never makes interest to read his books I'm finding difficult to bring him up kindly suggest me
If you want to make the bloopers EXTRA funny, turn on the captions and read at 14:34. (What kind of a jerk is your husband's boss?) LOL I really enjoyed the video and plan on reading the book, thank you.
Isn't pathology great!? Lol Mind can also mess up our body... Omg!! Makes him feel more affection for her that is so true the nicer you are to somebody the more you want to do it!? The eye contact hmm. Kevin Hart is a comedian and he said once, his little kid looked at him without blinking for Soo long and he said he was thinking about throwing him out! Lol Suggesting what the result will be is awesome because people think hey you know what will be more affectionate and that's going to happen and if they think that's what's going to happen and it happens they do more of it...lol That is so cute that some men want loving instead or more than problem solving. That is Soo true, past experience u just helped me realize We're still friends b but do you think it's reversible?
We've become a side burner Society there's just not enough time, people are exhausted. Hopefully one thing good out of this covid-19 adventure is that people will have a chance for a reset
Check out Dr Berg on High cortisol also on TH-cam & there's just a chance all those things you list might be symptoms that can go away...are they really the "core" of who you are? On that note also maybe try the 34min Yoga nidra led by James Jewel...Good for getting to the crux of who you are...and I'm sure your perfectly loveable & wish you find joy!💖
I love your videos and watch regularly but I wanted to bring it to your attention about an ad that just popped up as my husband and I watched this video. It was a scantily clad woman who apparently sold herself to a beast for something inappropriate that I don't wish to say. Apparently she had to do this deed. She kept saying "making love" and she doesn't know how. I'm horrified at the content. Please look into it on your end and I'll see how I can try to report that. 😔 I know you wouldn't approve of it.
I wish you'd mentioned in your review the very relevant information that the book was religion-based and written by ministers etc before I wasted good money on it.
I'm wondering if you're suggesting that I shouldn't post anything other than virus related content while we're in the middle of this pandemic? If that is what you're wondering about, I've made the choice to keep moving forward putting out helpful content and to not hyperfocus on just the virus. As part of my purposeful approach, I try to see the good around us in addition to the bad, I try to keep moving forward instead of getting paralyzed by fear. And I'm also doing a couple more videos on Covid-19, but I'm going to keep making helpful content because people still need it in other areas too.
@@TherapyinaNutshell I think this is very on topic of Corona, because many couples find themselves in new circumstances, at home, under great stress with Job uncertainty or health worries. Somebody joked about it saying we will have a babyboom or a divorce tsunami after this. A video on working on your marriage in these circumstances could potentially help couples to make a turn for the better. I've sent this video on to several of my friends so their marriages could benefit. Thanks again. My copy will come in a weeks time. Looking forward to it. And to your next video.
Therapy in a Nutshell I love your channel & please try not to make anything topical on the virus for the reason(s) you have just given. We need right now more than ever, to focus on the positives & on helping the most vulnerable. Not on ourselves. Not healthy. This morning on the newspapers, a British teen has just ended her own life (completed suicide) because she told her family she cannot but focus on the virus due to the isolation that kept reminding her of it. This virus is all over the news: we need no reminder. Besides you can always do a video on how to handle ‘anxiety or panic attacks’ in general.
1.play together
2.listen for emotions
3.appreciate each other.
4. Nurture a rythm
Finally what I've been waiting for confirmation. This is what I experienced in my childhood EVEN THOUGH we had severe economic hardships and every one had plenty of imperfections!!!
Once in a while when gloomiest, boredom or tensions were building up when we kids were frustrated at various brickwalls my father would simply get us to do run and catch around the dining table , he too joining in, though he was in his late 40s. Or its a simple word game challenge or " middle pig". Just 15 minutes lifted up the spirits. Everyone immediately became joyful. It was always possible to " unburden" as soon as we return home. There was play time, work time, family time, and alone time. Individuality was not squashed up for the sake of the group, but was nurtured , to be of help for the group when needed. No one was lazy & indulgent, nor was dominant & bossy. Hard work and empathy was the normal.
Then came MASS MEDIA... altering perceptions and creating confusion... poor next gen kids . There is over emphasis on material possessions.
Your recommendations don't cost a cent.
I was lucky. I watched my parents live as this book suggests. They held hands and kissed. They danced around the house with each other. They did something new - every single day. They never went to bed angry with each other (Mom said it will still be there tomorrow, but for now, they will rest). They joked and played cards or board games with each other. They were married 65 years. I am so happy they had each other, 'til the very end. For me? I never married and I happily live a single life. My brother is married to a witch and it's his 4th marriage.
chinookvalley why did u decide to stay single then...? Great for your parents but it takes both people to even want to do that
@@dbsk06uh, that sounds like it's irrelevant to what chinookvalley is saying. Chinook is simply affirming the things Emma's video covers and contributing that nice, inspiring example they're personally aware of as proof it works. Not that we need proof - the things Emma and the book are talking about are both common sense and neuro science based.
I dont need to understand Chinook's own personal experience and personal, individual reasons for being single to appreciate the example of the kind of relationship chinook is sharing and experienced Chinook's parents having as one Emma and the book talks about.
This sounds like unproductive, unuseful all or nothing thinking. All or nothing thinking can produce faulty, limiting conclusions like your implying because it makes you literally think either everything works a certain specific way or nothingng works at all. You're implying because this person is single (for what are likely really good reasons but just unknown ro you) that somehow invalidates what Emma's taking about, what this book covers, that these things do work - and at least definitely help - and make sense, and that Chinook's being single (apparently some kind of failure in your eyes) somehow invalidates that Chinook's parents' marriage was a successful example of the very stuff covered in this video.
You sound as if there's:
1) something wrong with being single, wanting to be single, or even just being happily single,
2) that there couldn't possibly be any good or reasonable reasons why anyone could even be single in the first place, when there are millions of reasons. I mean I can think of so many just off the top of my head right now - are you saying you can't? Seriously?
As an extreme example of just one of those millions of reasons, I know a female doctor who growing up, watched her mom die of early Huntington's disease - a truly horrifying, crippling living nightmare of a disease) and she carries the same (dominant) gene making it inevitable for her and she decided there was no way she'd have children and pass it on or put a family and spouse through what she saw her mom go through. And when the disease gets to a certain point with herself, she has her affairs in order and a trip planned to a clinic in Switzerland where they provide euthanasia - where it's legal and medically available.
Generally you base relational pattern on your parents so I would’ve thought that you and your brother had strong marriages…
Just got married 7/18/20! I'm glad I already follow you so I can see this!
Congratulations!
@@Amy. He he he thanks! Almost 3 years in now. 💕
Joy marriage:
- transactional relationship
- relationship brain
1. Play
2. Considere of feelings and emotions
3. Daily appreciation
4. Rhythm = routine to keep it loving and happy
Lol I love the bloopers. I used intentional appreciation to fall in love with the new town I moved to - it was a whole different ecosystem than I was used to. I had moved from the west coast rainforest to high desert. To make it harder, I went through a difficult breakup right after the move (loved him so much). My purposeful intent to find things to appreciate about my new home really helped.
This very much reminds me of the story / cognitive example of "which of the two fighting wolves (one fear and hate, one optimism and positive) in our head will win? The one we feed / focus on".
Thanks. I love your channel. I’ve been married for 27 years. At every stage, you get out what you put in. Thanks for this good information.
I loved the outtakes at the end. You seem so polished and at ease in your presentation, I'm glad to see you have "outtakes" in your day just like the rest of us.
So Very Timely! Thank you. We, as a couple have heightened stress and major interruptions to our schedules (adult children have had to relocate to our place for work-at-home) and I have found myself majoring in Problem Solving mode vs Relational. This not only alerted me but gave me tools and a reference to go to for more. And here I was just exploring your content to address Anxiety (Problem-solving). Thank you.
First time I can remember taking notes while watching a TH-cam video. Thanks so much for sharing these tips.
In a time when it’s very easy to focus on the challenges, this is advice that a lot of couples need. Great bloopers as a bonus end.
You are just amazing ! God bless you. You make difference in people’s lives dear!
I definitely did buy the book after watching this review first and I have to say, the book was absolutely phenomenal! There are so many different ideas packed into this short read and it really feels like I'm getting an education about what good steps in a relationship look like! I grew up with divorced parents and I never really got to see what a marriage is supposed to look like until now, I am happy that I finally know what a healthy relationship is supposed to look and feel like
waw i'm so happy i found your channel, your voice is so soothing and relaxing and the informations you give are amazing never heard before. Thank you so much for this video.
Buying the book ! Thank you for your videos. They are so helpful ! You are doing a great job !
Thanks :)
Thank you so much for this book review! Ordering it right away.
I love this, and I am so sorry that I knew this during my marriage, and I still let addiction get the best of me.
What you focus on expands. I will buy the book to focus on the habits. Connecting more then correcting will always improve the relationship. I “appreciate” all your book reviews.
Thank you Emma for the work you put into this channel! I have benefited from your videos.
I'm curious how you would apply these principles (esp the idea of relational v. transactional circuits) in a marriage to someone with Aspergers?
Valuable information. Thank you. And the outtakes at the end made me chuckle 😁
Emma, so glad I found your channel and appreciate YOU. I'm getting the book based on your work here.
Thank you. This channel is fantastic!
Great stuff. Even as a single with the desire and hope for future marriage, these tips are indispensable for preparation of it. Thank you for the review and your videos Emma!
Thanks for this review. Attatchment style is really something I want to reshape with my own brain plasticity, but I always get scared by books with "spiritual" written on the cover. I worry that they aren't research based, and have ulterior and destructive motives. Based on your review, I will be checking this one out.
Thanks so much. I love your channel.
thanks! Yeah, the authors are definitely Christian, and mention that, but overall I found the book really helpful and based on good research
Are you aware Emma is a Mormon?
Interesting even if I'm single. Loved the bloopers on the end :D
Thank you very much for your review. I am going to buy this book!
I really enjoy watching your videos. You have a very engaging and down to earth way of explaining things. I just subscribed, and just wanted to say thank you. :)
Hello, I want you to know that your approach and your style and your genuine manner is wonderful. I found you by accident and am so grateful and will of course share with others. Without too much detail, I am like many learning to deal with anxiety. People like you and approaches like yours are going to help people like me. Thank you so much.
I apreciate so much your work! Congrats and thank you!!!
Love this. It is needed. Thank you.
Thank you so much! Just wondering how this would work with long distance relationships? Or do you think it wouldn’t work?
Yes thank you so much for this and the grounding exercises. I wanted to add that, being excited about doing things, is so conducive and energizing. A great attitude in showing up. Ty you again. Your TH-cam site made my day. :-)
Awesome! Thank you! Loved the bloopers!🤗😂❤️
Thank you for your review, sounds like a very accessible model for strengthening relationships. I appreciate books that are succinct as well!
Beautiful sister, thanks a lot for this! 💝
Thank you so much! Great information and so nicely and joyfully delivered!
I love the review of this book, and will definitely purchase it. Love your channel
You had me at short book.
Thank you
I’m really struggling. I’ve been depressed. It’s affecting my marriage in so many ways. Help!!!
Thank you :) I think I'll buy the book. Take care :)
I am subscribing!
Marriage and joy is not a phrase that I can wrap my head around anymore. I have been married twice. Marriage is just too hard for me. I don't seem to have the skills to make a marriage work.
I can imagine it's hard but you can learn :)
I don't have a spouse but gonna get myself ready. Also, the cake's so appealing 5:10 😋
Really I came across while I'm watching medidation videos...Thank you for sharing expressing the details about the ideas about relationships...Luv u..please lemme know the relationships to handle our kids too I have a lil son he is 7yrs old and he never makes interest to read his books I'm finding difficult to bring him up kindly suggest me
thanks. this sounds great. I'm going to listen to it on Scribd!
How do you fix the audio from the raw recording / rough cut to the final clean audio!
waw .great video!
If you want to make the bloopers EXTRA funny, turn on the captions and read at 14:34.
(What kind of a jerk is your husband's boss?) LOL
I really enjoyed the video and plan on reading the book, thank you.
Read your comment and had to go back and do it. Interesting what auto generated captioning produces. Thanks for the extra laugh.
Good Ending! 😆
Nice best
Isn't pathology great!? Lol
Mind can also mess up our body...
Omg!! Makes him feel more affection for her that is so true the nicer you are to somebody the more you want to do it!?
The eye contact hmm. Kevin Hart is a comedian and he said once, his little kid looked at him without blinking for Soo long and he said he was thinking about throwing him out! Lol
Suggesting what the result will be is awesome because people think hey you know what will be more affectionate and that's going to happen and if they think that's what's going to happen and it happens they do more of it...lol
That is so cute that some men want loving instead or more than problem solving. That is Soo true, past experience u just helped me realize
We're still friends b but do you think it's reversible?
We've become a side burner Society there's just not enough time, people are exhausted. Hopefully one thing good out of this covid-19 adventure is that people will have a chance for a reset
I wonder if anyone could accept me and my depression and anxiety disorder and grief 😔
Check out Dr Berg on High cortisol also on TH-cam & there's just a chance all those things you list might be symptoms that can go away...are they really the "core" of who you are? On that note also maybe try the 34min Yoga nidra led by James Jewel...Good for getting to the crux of who you are...and I'm sure your perfectly loveable & wish you find joy!💖
I love your videos and watch regularly but I wanted to bring it to your attention about an ad that just popped up as my husband and I watched this video. It was a scantily clad woman who apparently sold herself to a beast for something inappropriate that I don't wish to say. Apparently she had to do this deed. She kept saying "making love" and she doesn't know how. I'm horrified at the content. Please look into it on your end and I'll see how I can try to report that. 😔 I know you wouldn't approve of it.
❤
I wish you'd mentioned in your review the very relevant information that the book was religion-based and written by ministers etc before I wasted good money on it.
🥰😆🙏🏼
lol ppl get married so they can stop being a jerk >__< LOL I always hoped that would be the case but apparent not......LOL
All those habits are mentioned in Islam . A religion of peace.
Erm virus?! Omg......
I'm wondering if you're suggesting that I shouldn't post anything other than virus related content while we're in the middle of this pandemic? If that is what you're wondering about, I've made the choice to keep moving forward putting out helpful content and to not hyperfocus on just the virus. As part of my purposeful approach, I try to see the good around us in addition to the bad, I try to keep moving forward instead of getting paralyzed by fear. And I'm also doing a couple more videos on Covid-19, but I'm going to keep making helpful content because people still need it in other areas too.
@@TherapyinaNutshell I think this is very on topic of Corona, because many couples find themselves in new circumstances, at home, under great stress with Job uncertainty or health worries. Somebody joked about it saying we will have a babyboom or a divorce tsunami after this. A video on working on your marriage in these circumstances could potentially help couples to make a turn for the better. I've sent this video on to several of my friends so their marriages could benefit. Thanks again. My copy will come in a weeks time. Looking forward to it. And to your next video.
Therapy in a Nutshell I love your channel & please try not to make anything topical on the virus for the reason(s) you have just given.
We need right now more than ever, to focus on the positives & on helping the most vulnerable. Not on ourselves. Not healthy. This morning on the newspapers, a British teen has just ended her own life (completed suicide) because she told her family she cannot but focus on the virus due to the isolation that kept reminding her of it.
This virus is all over the news: we need no reminder.
Besides you can always do a video on how to handle ‘anxiety or panic attacks’ in general.
Mouthwash.