r/wokekids Top Posts | Reddit's Future Geniuses

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.5K

  • @sueyeet
    @sueyeet 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2267

    Actual conversation with my 1 month old brother:
    Him: Bush did 9/11
    Me: (silently tears up with pride)

    • @wellingtonzani1280
      @wellingtonzani1280 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Suad Mohamed best coment ever

    • @Tyneher95
      @Tyneher95 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      jet fuel cant melt steel beams

    • @TheLastApostle
      @TheLastApostle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Wellington Donizette lol sorry I don't mean to be racist or profile or anything but did anyone else think this was much funnier because of the name of the commenter

    • @avenfantasy7498
      @avenfantasy7498 6 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      "gone sexual" NIGGA, WITH A NEWBORN?!

    • @raeisgay426
      @raeisgay426 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i imagine your icon is what your little bro looks like

  • @pickletickle8300
    @pickletickle8300 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1170

    A conversation with my child when he was just an egg cell
    Son: Slazo is pretty neat. I'd probably click a vid if it came in my recommended.
    Me: *speechless*

    • @jauzaafaishalahmadpadmadis3846
      @jauzaafaishalahmadpadmadis3846 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Pickle Tickle then everyone cheered and clapped in awe

    • @owah
      @owah 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      And then the manager gave you something free

    • @katsinboo
      @katsinboo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      and then everyone clapped

    • @derpydalek1234
      @derpydalek1234 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      And then everyone started crying tears of joy

    • @trolek852
      @trolek852 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      And trump came and blessed my child

  • @skully4065
    @skully4065 6 ปีที่แล้ว +216

    Actual conversation with my 2yo sister
    Sister:utao7rslidoyfuofofohch
    Me:hi

  • @carypm
    @carypm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    How conversation with 2 year olds actually happen
    2yo-snacks fish
    Me- we don’t have any fish. Do you want Cheerios or fruit?
    2yo-no fish
    Me-we don’t have fish
    2yo-yes fish
    Me-show me what you want *takes her to the pantry*
    2yo-*pulls out goldfish crackers I forgot I bought yesterday* FISH mommy FISH

  • @cthulhux2215
    @cthulhux2215 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1109

    Um I actually read a book as a kid, does that make me woke

    • @NivekTheEnigma
      @NivekTheEnigma 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Cthulhu X depends, what book?

    • @SamMito28
      @SamMito28 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Only if you laughed at trump’s speech

    • @DerAnanasKing
      @DerAnanasKing 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      me too. It was the communist manifesto
      my first words were "we have nothing to loose but oure chains"

    • @DerAnanasKing
      @DerAnanasKing 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      well, actually it was animorphs.

    • @ane11m
      @ane11m 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Holy shit, you can read?

  • @alexeysaranchev6118
    @alexeysaranchev6118 6 ปีที่แล้ว +429

    Today my 3 years old niece got driven home from daycare and noticed me watching Slazo
    She: Uncle, what this?
    Me: Well, it's just a funny video, why?
    She: This abhorrent human being dares to insult us babies implying in a comedic form that we're naturally unable to percieve the outside world and judge it objectively enough for our opinions to be reckoned with!
    Me: [speechless]
    And then the whole bus clapped.
    #babiesarehumanstoo #respectfetusesopinions #slazoisboring #proudunclemoment #thathappened

    • @emilytaylor468
      @emilytaylor468 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes

    • @skeletonwar4445
      @skeletonwar4445 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      The baby's name? Albert Einstein.
      And the busdriver gave me a thousand dollars.

    • @captainasshat3228
      @captainasshat3228 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ok but one question?
      How can she/he learn about all of this? I mean, it would take at least 4 months of practice to learn basic human language, so if an eight month old baby where to even have the knowledge to say it, that would take years of university level studying !

    • @fusionny7151
      @fusionny7151 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ? ? *ACTUALLY* they said their niece was 3 years old, not eight months.

    • @captainasshat3228
      @captainasshat3228 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Angry Kirbys yes, but that still would not be enough time to remember all the complicated words and the meaning of what slazo was saying. She/he would be more likely to say “MINE” and try grab the phone

  • @alexandriadarden5148
    @alexandriadarden5148 6 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    3 months year old sister: Despacito 2 is coming out I'm 2019
    Me: *wipes away single tear* So inspiring

    • @fish-pw8fh
      @fish-pw8fh 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      despacito 2 already came out, she needs to catch up >:C

    • @Iridescence-ge7gv
      @Iridescence-ge7gv 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So did despacito 3

    • @noname-sk6zk
      @noname-sk6zk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *3 m o n t h s y e a r o l d*

  • @kurlykayla9013
    @kurlykayla9013 6 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    I was in my local grocery store when the bananas had gone out of stock. Before I could complain to the clerk about this blatant injustice, my 1-week year old fetus made a lengthy monologue regarding the woes of the service industry, and how the masses are being fed GMO and pesticide-ridden produce. "You are nothing but a pawn" my fetus said to the clerk, "and the Lord shalt have thine head for thine transgressions!" I was speechless and shaking with fear and pride. As the tears dripped down my face as my woke and unborn child spoke with a wise mind well beyond its years, the clerk could do nothing but stand there, his mouth agape, like the spineless fool he was.
    Then everyone clapped.

    • @carlosnava1471
      @carlosnava1471 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      1-week year old fetus
      I'm speechless

    • @avenfantasy7498
      @avenfantasy7498 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      gotta love the addendum at the end, too
      "Then everyone clapped."

    • @transcuber
      @transcuber 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      that fetus’ name? albert einstein

    • @Anthonybrother
      @Anthonybrother 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      _cool story bro_

    • @andsotechnically.5053
      @andsotechnically.5053 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      my 1 hour fetus proved god wrong and built titanic, try again, loser.

  • @TajirMusil
    @TajirMusil 6 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    My niece said the most enlightening thing ever "Ahhhhh"
    She's just 6 months old

  • @Bala_Niranna
    @Bala_Niranna 6 ปีที่แล้ว +674

    I'm pregnant and my fetus (through kicking in Morse code) agreed with me that the moon is just a projection by the government, so proud

    • @charmingnarcisse
      @charmingnarcisse 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      😍👏😍👏😍👌👏👏👏

    • @JM-cz1ps
      @JM-cz1ps 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My mind = blown

    • @minaraonic440
      @minaraonic440 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      bowties are cool well mine says the earth is a hexagonal prism. So proud

    • @mofkergt
      @mofkergt 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bananas are fresh mine told me Everything is not real

    • @machinfacultatif9012
      @machinfacultatif9012 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't believe in landry

  • @kaninekodiak
    @kaninekodiak 6 ปีที่แล้ว +422

    I know a girl who is my age (16-17) and when I met her last year she legitimately thought that the sun got switched off at night. When we told her it wasn't she was surprised. *Surprised.* We aren't sure if she was acting or not but. She was one of those really short petite pretty girls who thought Justin Bieber was a god in 2017 so. Probably not acting. Which is pretty sad.
    My point is that if a 17 year old thought the sun got switched on and off at night can we really afford to believe that there are children under 5 preaching about political corruption and the flat earth.

    • @thisnameiscool1232
      @thisnameiscool1232 6 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      Charly Oddsox Lol I met some American tourists who asked me "Do you have a moon in Ireland?" They were adults

    • @sparetimerascal2822
      @sparetimerascal2822 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      There are some people where you just know by what stupid shit they are saying that they are american.

    • @wynterfoxx2517
      @wynterfoxx2517 6 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      r/thathappened

    • @Xenon1825
      @Xenon1825 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      XDLe4tsG0XD
      Well, do you?

    • @Thane3999
      @Thane3999 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Charly Oddsox ......I have nothing to say. Do you?

  • @FMJoner
    @FMJoner 6 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    My nephew's grandpa's brother's son's child's sex toy just told me about something I never thought existed. He told me, "You're are mumther contract the super very homosmexual." He's only a fetus.

  • @nadia-jy9eb
    @nadia-jy9eb 6 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    my brother is 3 and doesnt know his own name lol

    • @layasnainso3384
      @layasnainso3384 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      When I was 3 I didn't know I was 3

    • @Belia1
      @Belia1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dumb people when I was three I wrote this comment I'm currently 13

    • @isweartapwaterdidnotmaketh8261
      @isweartapwaterdidnotmaketh8261 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      When I was four I legit had no idea who grandma and grandpa was (I literally saw them almost every day)

    • @assasserson6429
      @assasserson6429 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      When I was 4 I thought my mom was 8

    • @lostperson5482
      @lostperson5482 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When my cousin was three he thought tigers were lions

  • @marimbasolo8306
    @marimbasolo8306 6 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    My 6 y o just asked what antidisebstablishmentarienism was and her younger sister said "Antidisestablishmentarianism is a political position that originated in 19th century Britain. The position opposed proposals at that time to remove the Anglican Church's status as the established church of England, Ireland and Wales, but not in Scotland, which had and still has its own separate national church"
    My youngest daughter hasn't even been conceived yet I'm shaking proud mum mind=blown

  • @thekittykatie
    @thekittykatie 6 ปีที่แล้ว +416

    if this doesn't have at least one of will smiths children I will be severely disappointed

    • @boviro_1237
      @boviro_1237 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      S A D - E G G
      You're gonna be one sad egg

    • @AP011Y0N
      @AP011Y0N 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I'm not sad

    • @aspen707
      @aspen707 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How did we find two eggs?

  • @dollface6972
    @dollface6972 6 ปีที่แล้ว +799

    pee is stored in the ear smh, my cousin who hasn’t been conceived yet agrees too, the spirit of his soul said “urine is stored in the hearing organ located in the head”

    • @centevanbael292
      @centevanbael292 6 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      s x p h / ! ie. Today my semen said to me that they were stored in the thumbs
      I. Love .them

    • @fiarubold
      @fiarubold 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Saliva is stored in the elbows

    • @atomous4373
      @atomous4373 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      s x p h / ! ie. Hearing organ?lol it doesn't hear it vibrates our brain works the rest

    • @dollface6972
      @dollface6972 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Atomous 437 um honey do your research actually the brain is where semen is stored sorry hon

    • @dollface6972
      @dollface6972 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Cente Van Bael silly boy, semen is stored in the kneecaps?? even my two year old father knows that get your facts straight

  • @mimi-dy8uc
    @mimi-dy8uc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    How the vaccination story would've gone irl: son "my dad says baccinatons will kill you" girl "nuh-uh" son "yuh-uh"

  • @super-quantumunitintelproc8107
    @super-quantumunitintelproc8107 6 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    10:04 Can't believe op singlehandedly destroyed homophobia

  • @ArabLenin
    @ArabLenin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The second I had a vaccination I fucking burst into flames and died

  • @jaunks
    @jaunks 6 ปีที่แล้ว +946

    I wish it would be the kids in comment sections saying they know everything on a topic and then saying "I'm only 11"

    • @benjamingoodman2775
      @benjamingoodman2775 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      B-brother?

    • @poopoonigga8164
      @poopoonigga8164 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      "im only 12 (but mature for my age)"

    • @arkaidov
      @arkaidov 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I am an unborn sperm

    • @jaunks
      @jaunks 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      HasBeen ayy nice seeing another cult member

    • @kalina5076
      @kalina5076 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      PowderyStAnK YT my generation sucks
      btw im 2

  • @TallyMark
    @TallyMark 6 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    My 6 day old son and I were out in the back yard and he look up at the night sky and said “daddy we live in a tiny universe in a smaller galaxy in an even smaller world, daddy your life is meaningless.” Now that was either the mushrooms talking or he’s woke as fuck. Either way mind blown. 🤯

  • @Glumbis
    @Glumbis 6 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    My four week old niece and I️ had a conversation about the geopolitical climate within our nation to which she responded, “hit that mf like button lmao 😩💦” so proud of her. That nieces name? Timmy thicc.

    • @emgee4509
      @emgee4509 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Kevin Ellis r/thathappened

    • @user-nh2rl7ov9d
      @user-nh2rl7ov9d 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      r/wooosh

    • @potatocatthebean4350
      @potatocatthebean4350 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ZaelDaydreams the ol' switcharoo

    • @emperoremesis9494
      @emperoremesis9494 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Did you know Timmy thick was a sociological experiment conducted by Harvard

    • @jef3406
      @jef3406 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Kevin Ellis timm🅱y thicc

  • @vsilvia1906
    @vsilvia1906 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    meanwhile my 3yo little sister likes to remind me that I don't have a boyfriend

    • @JB-ie6dn
      @JB-ie6dn 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      RIP

    • @vsilvia1906
      @vsilvia1906 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      other kids are woke, meanwhile my sister's just roasting me

    • @waq5258
      @waq5258 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Someone at kindergarten told me I will never have a boyfriend
      I am male

    • @justrcd
      @justrcd 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      F

    • @tidepodpadthai2633
      @tidepodpadthai2633 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      V Silvia My little niece asks me why I don't have one, and I tell her I can't find one, and she tells me to check under the bed

  • @p3p1jnlol
    @p3p1jnlol 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    My 1 week old brother just said "This man on your computer screen is wrong for making videos in which he pokes fun at people."
    💕💕 💕so proud of him💕💕💕

    • @Tanya-iv5kk
      @Tanya-iv5kk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Then Pewish well my fetus sister just said your brother is big gay so...

  • @mrs.hickey9867
    @mrs.hickey9867 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    My four day old son asked me about the death of Maximilien Robespierre. I was speechless. Then he picked up his crayola markers and recreated Rembrandt's 'The Night Watch' on the living room wall. Again, I was speechless. Later that evening I walked in on him alone in bed, watching Fritz Lang's 'Metropolis' and he then began to ask me about the Weimar republic and events such as the Beer Hall putsch and the role of the Gestapo. Once again, I was speechless.

  • @Umayrica
    @Umayrica 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1400

    *Technically, we are all kids in our minds*
    - _Albert Einstein 1987_

    • @Umayrica
      @Umayrica 6 ปีที่แล้ว +66

      Couldn’t have said it better myself

    • @greglordofallelements2140
      @greglordofallelements2140 6 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Not sure if that quote is real or not. Will like just in case.

    • @starrush303
      @starrush303 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      WeridAnimeLover69 b-but he died in 1955...

    • @BlakeGeometrio
      @BlakeGeometrio 6 ปีที่แล้ว +167

      "I didn't say that shit."
      -Albert Einstein, 1995

    • @baldman7738
      @baldman7738 6 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      WeridAnimeLover69 shut the fuck up
      -Albert Einstein 2018

  • @pokerman8378
    @pokerman8378 6 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    when they use niece instead of son it's just to be different and so they don't fit into a stereotype, so they sound more believable, come on people, my -1000 year old niece knows this!!

    • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
      @AaronKaiMCDNLD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought it was so that if they ever got caught without a child, a nephew or niece would be the safer option.

  • @dalial-nasian35
    @dalial-nasian35 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    6:20 bro it didn't even say 6 m/o what you tryna pull?

  • @babylonprojectillustration2014
    @babylonprojectillustration2014 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Oof, it's like a painful mix of r/thathappened and r/iamverysmart.

    • @hectorthe501st
      @hectorthe501st 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      And the exact opposite of r/kidsarefuck*nstupid too

  • @cee_yarr
    @cee_yarr 6 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    My child that I’m planning to have in 20 years told me that Slazo is the leader that we need, but not the one we deserve.

    • @jef3406
      @jef3406 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Convoluted Films then all the blood cells clapped

  • @browneyesblackdragon7999
    @browneyesblackdragon7999 6 ปีที่แล้ว +754

    I was so woke in elementary school that I didn't have friends.

    • @ellamstevens2002
      @ellamstevens2002 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Naruhoe that's the mood for 2018 yall

    • @BlakeGeometrio
      @BlakeGeometrio 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mood.

    • @account8158
      @account8158 6 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I was so *W O K E* I started gambling and selling bakugon in an underground system that was unknown to anyone unless you saw us in the middle of the playground.

    • @user-qq4tj8gm8b
      @user-qq4tj8gm8b 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      no joke we had a screaming contest @ the swings in 2nd grade and i won. i loathe myself.

    • @4mv430
      @4mv430 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Naruhoe oh

  • @kittycatgamer3627
    @kittycatgamer3627 6 ปีที่แล้ว +535

    iM 12 aNd i dO aBsOlUtEly nOthIng
    *P r a i s e m e p e a s e n t s*

  • @bruhmeister6992
    @bruhmeister6992 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My 2 month old kid asked me why I'm not capable of voicing my own opinion and why I have to make up stories about him on social media
    I'm crying rn

  • @lenoribahi
    @lenoribahi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My 4 millisecond old told me this:
    Shrek 5 is coming
    I bowed down to him

  • @DrZombieMoogle
    @DrZombieMoogle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +197

    "and discovered he was holding 3 abortion pills"
    Does the guy that wrote this understand that the uterus isn't a part of the digestive track?

    • @CronusAkuma
      @CronusAkuma 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Tall Chris wait..since when.

    • @brokenwave6125
      @brokenwave6125 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wtf are you talking about? Pills can effect every system in the body...not just the digestive system...

    • @kazsixteen7359
      @kazsixteen7359 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      ... but for three pills, still in pill form to get there, that would mean that the uterus would be in the digestive tract, which it isnt.

    • @brokenwave6125
      @brokenwave6125 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Kaz sixteen That story is super fake of course. For several reasons.

    • @Icecypher
      @Icecypher 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I am sure that story was mocking all of those other stories, saying impossible things. Remember the people who write those stories seriously are the type of people who would definitely have found a way to kill the baby because the woman is the one who decides over the life or death of the baby because it is in "her" body.

  • @magicm8ball558
    @magicm8ball558 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    My fetus just started reciting war and peace via Morse code through my wife’s womb, but every antagonists name was replaced with Round earther and all protagonists had the prefix “The vax free”

  • @emmaprobably5524
    @emmaprobably5524 6 ปีที่แล้ว +178

    *me:* wow i sure wish i was cool
    *my son:* type like this and everyone will love you
    *me:* (speechless)

    • @oyeahmrkrabs1747
      @oyeahmrkrabs1747 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Emma Probably considering the amount of likes this gained. Your son was correct

  • @ThatLittleKitten
    @ThatLittleKitten 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    When I was four I had just learned what a generation was. I mean I was also scared of Jimmy neutron so that's also something

  • @Wi-Fi-El
    @Wi-Fi-El 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I was a pretty smart kid, but my mom would blow it out of proportion. I found a picture from when i was 3 labeled "Noah is such a genius", and i was "reading" cosmos by Carl Sagan. I probably wasn't reading it lol, I was probably looking at the pictures of outer space since outer space has always fascinated me. Her Facebook is full of it too, I found one from like 11th grade saying I was the smartest kid on Earth for getting the highest asvab score in my school. It's impressive I guess, but it's just one test from one school, doesn't make me a genius. I guess I'm a little smarter than the average person, at least the average person in my area, but I don't think I'm a genius or anyone too special

    • @quinttwo
      @quinttwo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Wi-Fi TV
      good for you
      i got depression at 7 from a pokémon game

    • @johnherb4243
      @johnherb4243 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Quintt Why? What happened?

    • @maximilianwonschik1304
      @maximilianwonschik1304 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Wi-Fi TV /r/iamverysmart

    • @rmosborn78
      @rmosborn78 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your school administered the ASVAB?

    • @pipe-bomb-eater
      @pipe-bomb-eater 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I feel that, except my mother also paired it with years of emotional abuse
      So I'm just confused
      Idk, I'm still a sperm, we'll see how it goes

  • @ahgeeman9849
    @ahgeeman9849 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    When I was four I overheard my mom watching a documentary about an old woman. Somehow this made me realize my own mortality. I couldn’t sleep for weeks.

    • @avenfantasy7498
      @avenfantasy7498 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your profile picture looks like what I feed my Oranguru.

    • @MissCaraMint
      @MissCaraMint 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Shiny Luvdisc I saw a documentary about the solarsystem, and was realy scared about the bit where the guy said the sun would expand and burn up the earth. I was to young to grasp the consept that that wouldn’t happen for like billions of year.

    • @homesweethive
      @homesweethive 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      yeah, saw something like that in 3rd grade, it took me a while before I realized that's not going to happen until billions of years from now

  • @marshateslosing1654
    @marshateslosing1654 6 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    WhEn My DaUgHtEr WaS a SpErM sHe WaS a PrO aT tRiGoNoMeTrY

    • @ane11m
      @ane11m 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My daughter is still an egg and she’s doing calculus, teach your kid better smh

    • @eileenconway2966
      @eileenconway2966 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My kid had 15 master’s degrees before I was even conceived. Try harder, sweetie!

    • @fresko6527
      @fresko6527 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      My son achieved illumination and total world peace before i was even born during ww2 and he stoped the nazis and libtards

  • @nope6021
    @nope6021 6 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    I stg none of these people claiming their kids said something have never been around young kids. I live with a 3 year old and 6 year old (my half brother and half sister) and my mom runs a daycare from home. I spend a lot of time around kids. NO 2 YEAR OLD KNOWS ABOUT GAS CHAMBERS! My brother is 3 and he's just barely constructing coherent sentences! Kids don't talk like that!

    • @luka-we4mx
      @luka-we4mx 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      these parents are lying???? no way shut upp

    • @VeneficaDelirium
      @VeneficaDelirium 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Eight month olds can't quote Game of Groans or someshit either.

    • @GewelReal
      @GewelReal 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well, I was 2 and apart from "adult words" I spoke pretty much like that

    • @vanessacarlson606
      @vanessacarlson606 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know a recently turned 4 year old that can have full conversations with adults on certain topics.

    • @nope6021
      @nope6021 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Vanessa Carlson well yeah, at 4 most kids can talk. My brother is 3 and he can hold a conversation. Usually about trucks. He loves his trucks. And the Cars movies. Lighting McQueen is like his idol right now. But most 4 year olds don't use big words or super complex grammar. They're kind of stumbling and sometimes pause to think about their words. But uh, I don't think a 4 year old would be able to have a conversation about politics or the Holocaust. And if they were able to, I don't think they'd have a full grasp on just what it all means. But that's sweet that the kid you know is good at conversations. Good skill to have, being able to talk comfortably to others.

  • @aslochild4300
    @aslochild4300 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Conversation with my newborn child
    Me: omg its a boy
    Him: *recites English dictionary*
    Me: (speechless)
    Him: *recites bible*

  • @Arya-we7vf
    @Arya-we7vf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    6:19
    Nowhere in that post did it say anything about the niece being 6 months old. It didn't even mention anything to do with age.

  • @JeevesAnthrozaurUS
    @JeevesAnthrozaurUS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +261

    W O K E A S S *BABIES*

  • @txlda
    @txlda 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1334

    this video opened my third eye

    • @morgotts
      @morgotts 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Tilda Spridd
      *-Blind-*

    • @danielisgay8466
      @danielisgay8466 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It opened my 9th eye

    • @skeletonwar4445
      @skeletonwar4445 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You are like a baby.
      It closed my 4 eyes and opened like one.

    • @shiningarmor2838
      @shiningarmor2838 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I cannot take this comment seriously after watching the Game Theory video featuring the subject.

    • @sutaburr
      @sutaburr 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Slazo always opens my third eye :^)

  • @cowboyjunkie5732
    @cowboyjunkie5732 6 ปีที่แล้ว +476

    John f Kennedy’s mind was blown too

    • @Nugcon
      @Nugcon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      lmao

    • @terraxgaming4117
      @terraxgaming4117 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Holy...

    • @joshhunter5629
      @joshhunter5629 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I get it.

    • @possummagic3571
      @possummagic3571 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      How does this comment get less likes than the, "Hurr durr anti-vaxxers are stupid!", comment?

    • @ryanperper5470
      @ryanperper5470 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@possummagic3571 Because they are stupid.

  • @dragonetafireball
    @dragonetafireball 6 ปีที่แล้ว +280

    8:52 darn that kid can write cursive at 7 I can’t do that that neatly at 17.

    • @glandhound
      @glandhound 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      They used to teach that in schools the olden days.

    • @OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa
      @OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      That's a girl's handwriting if ever I've seen it, too.
      Not a child's, and CERTAINLY not a 7-year-old male child's.

    • @dragonetafireball
      @dragonetafireball 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Pekka Rastas they thought it when I was a child but most people ignored it and their repeated attempts to improve my hand writing gave me permanent nerve damage I’m my dominant hand to the point I con only really write with a computer for anything that takes more than a minute

    • @kaylareid6160
      @kaylareid6160 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dragoneta Slayer Do you also have permanent brain damage

    • @dragonetafireball
      @dragonetafireball 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A Shitty Guitar Player unfortunately, no

  • @anfrew2511
    @anfrew2511 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    real conversation with my 2 day old son
    son: GLORY TO STALIN MAY ALL CAPITALISTIC PIGS PERISH TO MOTHER RUSSIA'S MIGHT
    me: *tear of proudness*

  • @FlyingScott
    @FlyingScott 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Me: Never watched this channel before, won't set expectations too high.
    *Hears Threatenin' Zepplin*
    Me: Cheap move.

  • @georgetownb
    @georgetownb 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    3 month old daughter: E=mc2
    me: *crying and completely speechless*

  • @AmazingTactics
    @AmazingTactics 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    If the earth would be flat, why would mah boi Slazo's wannabe moustache be so finely curved then?
    _Top 10 questions science still can't answer_

  • @NepuRhythme
    @NepuRhythme 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I went to a Barnes and Noble and my girlfriends 2 month old fetus saw a book about a Bible and said "How dare they spread propaganda about a false god, this is an insult to our true lord Shrek" Mind= Blown

  • @liamdevore6246
    @liamdevore6246 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    An actual conversation between me and my 2 month old cousin:
    My cousin:
    Me: *tears up* my god thats so true

  • @ayekantspeylgud
    @ayekantspeylgud 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    8:48 “slaying” - what 7 year old writes like this - I mean both in penmanship and the actual words on the paper. It’s clearly an adult woman’s handwriting let alone the word choices.

  • @TheBishopV
    @TheBishopV 6 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    Wake me up inside

  • @geniuskhan1337
    @geniuskhan1337 6 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Flat Earth Society has debunked themselves in a Twitter thread.
    Elon Musk: Why is there no Flat Mars Society?
    Flat Earth: Years of scientific evidence have proven that Mars is round.
    (May not be exactly quoted, you can't trust me to remember these things word-for-word)

    • @cjgg4885
      @cjgg4885 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lukas McNougat Oh fucking hell. The damn morons.

    • @amykemp8925
      @amykemp8925 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      CJG G THEY HAD ONE JOB

    • @Tintenfischchen
      @Tintenfischchen 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Like that tweet that said "The Flat Earth Society has members all *around the globe* " ...🤔

  • @possumguts
    @possumguts 6 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    i feel like a lot of sarcastic/facetious posts go right over slazo's head but it's okay

  • @thegreatcatgod2345
    @thegreatcatgod2345 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When I was 2 and up until I was 4 I didn’t know what a compromise was, and this is what I did sometimes:
    My dad sometimes came home with candy and I’d ask for 3 and he’d say “no, that’s too much, let’s compromise; how about 2 candies?” I’d say “no, 3.” And he’d say “how about 2?” And then I’d raise the bet and say “no, 4.” And I’d do that until he’d give me the candies. I did that at parties and people always laughed and I got the candy.

  • @thelostcause7983
    @thelostcause7983 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    4:33 I do love when someone within a community becomes self aware of the community's insanity, memes are born in this way

  • @sarah-ph9wm
    @sarah-ph9wm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +311

    *finna W O K E*

    • @triceraa
      @triceraa 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Me me big boi

    • @shakarela1134
      @shakarela1134 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      A tube feud is when two dudes with opposing views crudly feud too rude!

    • @imAwareOfYourAddress
      @imAwareOfYourAddress 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      agme oner Got yourself a problem he can Alexander Handle it

  • @hwilliams2339
    @hwilliams2339 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    6:18 Says nothing about the niece being only six months old

    • @user-qt6ud3sp6w
      @user-qt6ud3sp6w 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      H Williams yeah i was looking for this comment, i was confused

    • @wormprty
      @wormprty 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      same I was just about to write this haha

    • @ausintune9014
      @ausintune9014 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Mayby it's a comment or a thing above idk

  • @carmelinatown
    @carmelinatown 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    according to slazo, his face reveal is going to be at 200k so keep subbing, i'm curious to know what he looks like

  • @jazzetienne2285
    @jazzetienne2285 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My ~nonexistent~ 3 day old child: "Yo do you know the number for Pizza Hut? I want a stuffed crust pizza."
    Me: *that Pikachu meme*

  • @floofi5750
    @floofi5750 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Parent: Go to sleep
    Me: Tricycles are just unicycles with training wheels

  • @DETECTIVEMARVEL-sn8wy
    @DETECTIVEMARVEL-sn8wy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My son who is only a fetus said "Daddy... Shouldn't r/WokeKids be in r/ThatHappened?"
    I was absolutely speechless and everyone stood up and started to clap

  • @Cami-xe8cl
    @Cami-xe8cl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Boy o boy o cant wait for that 200k face reveal 😤 Also congratulations on 180k, its so nice to see an amazing youtuber grow.

  • @Bespeon
    @Bespeon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    RIP Slazo. Those darn vaccines!

    • @jeremymizer8958
      @jeremymizer8958 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Bespeon they put vaccines in the chemtrails to keep the knowledge of the flat earth from us so we can continue being slaves to the illuminati that hates us do much they manufactured the war in Iraq by causing 9/11 after successfully assassinating JFK to continue the war in Vietnam!

  • @dannyobrien4569
    @dannyobrien4569 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Me: How was your day son?
    My son: I have heard many things throughout my life that have struck me as truly remarkable, but perhaps none has been more humbling than the first time I truly grasped the size of the universe. I was perusing youtube when I came upon a video claiming to show the “scale of the universe” by placing objects of increasing size next to each other, going from a theoretical string all the way up to the observable universe. The video started out fairly normal, but I quickly found myself completely encapsulated when I was shown how large a single atom was in comparison to the supposed string. These relationships continued throughout the video, comparing our Earth to our Sun, our Sun to Betelgeuse, a star to a galaxy, a galaxy to a supercluster, and a supercluster to the universe. I found myself, as the video closed, completely humbled and in awe of the sheer size of the world we live in and our place in it.
    I find myself further humbled by the fact that, despite the vast quantity of atoms that can fit within a single grain of salt (about 10^18), there are only an estimated 10^80 atoms in the entire universe. It would seem that the size of our universe in incomprehensible both visually and quantitatively, it simply cannot be rationalized by the human mind. Ultimately this leads me to one simple conclusion, humanity is insignificant, and our existence is nothing more than a cosmic hiccough, brought on by sheer chance and dumb luck, if luck could even be considered to exist. With this in mind, I find myself answering the question that humanity has held since the day we were first able to contemplate our own existence. The question of “What is the meaning of life?” has but one simple answer: there is none. No single entity can define what purpose there is in the existence of life. Religion and science are equally futile in their attempts to explain where we came from or what we are, because in the end there will never be an answer.
    This is my true belief. We are just a collection of cells walking around on a moderately sized rock orbiting a slightly above average star in a slightly above average galaxy. Our existence may be an instance of extreme luck, but the entire universe as it is right now is the result of one outcome among an almost infinite amount. It would be just as silly to claim that the lack of life on Mars is a miracle as it would be to claim that our own existence is a miracle just as you are equally likely to get any other combination of five cards while playing poker as your are to get a royal flush. Ultimately, humanity spends too much time dwelling on the past and ignoring the present, if life is truly as special as we make it out to be, then it makes more sense for us to cherish it and work to preserve it than waste our resources trying to figure out how we came to be when ultimately the answer does not exist. Humanity’s greatest trait is also its greatest flaw, that of curiosity, as we were gifted with the ability to learn about the world around us but wasted much of our own history wondering more about how we came to be than what we can become.

  • @legerdemain444
    @legerdemain444 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    2:06 What actually happened. A flat earther went into a toy store. Baby points to globe and says "DAA!".
    Flat Earther, being the logical creature it is "OMG my child gets it, the globe conspiracy starts at childhood, with propoganda aimed at the most vunerable!!!!!!1

  • @ginalatigre4156
    @ginalatigre4156 6 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    7/10 not enough fresh water

  • @caseyvance2791
    @caseyvance2791 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    A Slazo video, delivered in asterisks:
    *talks about school*
    *explains content-making decisions and process*
    *explains internet trends for the uninitiated*
    *promises an "XD"*
    *well-timed, well-delivered, funny original content*
    *close up of him drinking water*
    *reads in Lilo and Stitch voice*
    *stops to fix hair*
    *suggests he'd go gay for the creepiest dude he can find*
    *stupid placeholder for swear word*
    *subtle meme insertion*
    *pretends to cry*
    *elongated break to talk to mom*
    *complains about heat in Australia*
    *gets really genuine about thanking patrons*
    *exaggerated single wave*
    🎶 not too late my friend 🎶
    How does this precious cinnamon roll not have more subs??

  • @fizzyflair4155
    @fizzyflair4155 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    That shade on Jacksfilms though...

  • @RealRabidRabbit
    @RealRabidRabbit 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My two month old LITERALLY just said “Seize the means of production” while reading The Communist Manifesto! I’m so proud!

  • @talynhastime9343
    @talynhastime9343 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    8:25 My Mum told me I was kicked out of a joint daycare/preschool because I tried to rally the kids to not nap when I was 4 or so. I never napped as a child (never for very long), so I guess I was confused as to why they were "forcing" other kids to nap, not realizing that not all kids are like me and actually need to lie down to recharge their batteries. Where did I get that energy as a kid, I can barely stay awake after 8 hours of sleep... That is the story my family swears by, and what would they gain by lying to me lol

  • @oopsitschanelle
    @oopsitschanelle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    I feel lowkey uncomfortable saying this but he has really pretty eyes.

    • @celinak5062
      @celinak5062 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Chanelle Helle puppy dog eyes

    • @CronusAkuma
      @CronusAkuma 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Chanelle Helle as a male I would like to kiss each eyeball

    • @chadd990
      @chadd990 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      U should feel uncomfortable. And ashamed. Wtf is wrong with you? Btw this is Jeff from the gas station you met 2 months ago. You still haven't accepted my friends request on snapchat

    • @oopsitschanelle
      @oopsitschanelle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      There are no exclamation points. It's not powerful enough to get rid of me yet.

    • @oopsitschanelle
      @oopsitschanelle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jeff from BP or Jeff from Mobil?

  • @Soot_Smiles
    @Soot_Smiles 6 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    Yo thats finna woke

    • @Glassee
      @Glassee 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jed Sawyer fuck you stole my comment

    • @yeetmeintononexistence103
      @yeetmeintononexistence103 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Fuck! This meme has been stuck in my head for like a week and I've been commenting it on every video and for the first time it makes sense to comment it and i didn't even think about it. gg wp

  • @abdullahceka3613
    @abdullahceka3613 6 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    we all know that Jaden Smith is really *W O K E*

    • @emgee4509
      @emgee4509 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I need to work on my WOKEness

    • @jeremya354
      @jeremya354 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      DuckerZ Gaming A

  • @catz_ee
    @catz_ee 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Actual conversation with my 2 year old cousin:
    Me: Aren't you hungry? Why aren't you eating your food?
    Them: *This mortal form is limiting.*
    So proud!

  • @MistCellaneous-5
    @MistCellaneous-5 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My unborn child: "did you know that human life is futile and that once we die our souls just dissipate Into Thin Air, eliminating what we previously were and that we become food for the worms and bacteria of the Earth."
    Me: "wow."

  • @milesforziano1845
    @milesforziano1845 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    6:30 where did he get 6 month old??

  • @sisi2654
    @sisi2654 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    The one time TH-cam notifications work!

  • @saintsugoi
    @saintsugoi 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I stopped listening to my weeb music for this daddy slazo

  • @jostockton.
    @jostockton. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Slazo totally missed the joke at 4:41, r/iamverysmart right guys?"
    r/whoosh

  • @SoftMASCII
    @SoftMASCII 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    6:00 Great use of the Rayman 2 Title Screen music

  • @agilagilsen8714
    @agilagilsen8714 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The earth is flat. My 12month old believes my logic.

  • @driskoll127
    @driskoll127 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Honestly what even was the point of the one about the baby holding abortion pills? What is the intended lesson here? Why in God's name would nurses beat a newborn? How did this child get abortion pills inside the womb? So many questions. I guess we'll never know...

    • @cinnamonperoxide2161
      @cinnamonperoxide2161 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When a baby is born, their lungs are usually filled with,, womb juice. They have to cry to clear their lungs- if they don’t come out crying then the staff will give them a little smack or two.
      I think the point of the post was ‘lol the mom tried to have an abortion three times but the baby is triUmphaNT!!1!’

  • @UnimpressedGoose
    @UnimpressedGoose 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    6:14 where does it say a 6month old said that

    • @sashimicheetah
      @sashimicheetah 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Perhaps, It was probably earlier on in the message chain but he forgot to edit into the video.

  • @corvidaeic2378
    @corvidaeic2378 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH MY TODDLER!
    I don't have a kid

  • @heccinifel833
    @heccinifel833 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    *My child before being conceived:* Alexander Hamilton's father left, mother died, and his cousin committed suicide. He was then in a traumatic hurricane and wrote his way out, gaining recognition and was shipped off to America from Nevis where he became the first Treasury Secretary and the youngest founding father, getting a musical about him about 200 years after his death with 47 songs, including Laurens Interlude and excluding cut songs.

  • @Delvina596
    @Delvina596 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    My nephew is a year old and he cant speak only walk. What type of idiot thinks that a 8 month can speak!! My niece is 6 and the most she can do is scream 😂

    • @vocalcalibration8033
      @vocalcalibration8033 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They just ain't woke enough my dude.

    • @9inchtablet
      @9inchtablet 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ophelie At 8 months old usually you're just babbling and imitating/practicing sounds. It might be things like "baba, dada, mama" but it's not true speech. 90% of humans don't start true speech until after a year.

    • @MosasaurCatcher
      @MosasaurCatcher 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      6 yes old and can't talk? She must be struggling in 1st grade smh

    • @ananimoselty2234
      @ananimoselty2234 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are obviously lying. My 8 month old daughter just explained to me the theory of relativity.

    • @gavinsfriend1431
      @gavinsfriend1431 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Devilrose 596 I could speak at that age. Obviously not like proper sentences but sometimes a said little phrases like 'fish swim' and stuff.

  • @breadcrumb1996
    @breadcrumb1996 6 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    Face reveal on 200k 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

    • @Bobert27
      @Bobert27 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Arika Ahsan yeah we need that

    • @laser901
      @laser901 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ARE YOU STUPID??? ITS ZLASO FACE IN THE VIDO DUM DUM

    • @FrozenStone1000
      @FrozenStone1000 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You can actually see his face if you pause at 12:15 and look really closely

    • @laser901
      @laser901 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      FrozenStone1000 HIS FAC IN THE VIDO STUPID PEPLE GOD DAMIT

    • @NotYourPalGuy
      @NotYourPalGuy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      sawdaam I think you are mistaken. Slazo has never shown his face on camera to us

  • @jasonphil4536
    @jasonphil4536 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Last time I was this early they kicked me out of the funeral home

  • @fluffcake
    @fluffcake 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Average conversation of me and my little brother:
    what's up
    Chicken Nugget

  • @chatboxx-textstories-8023
    @chatboxx-textstories-8023 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My conversation with my 2yo brother:
    Me: What's your favourite show?
    Him: rick and morty is the pure essence of existence itself. The storytelling of a plot made by a true genius would typically puzzle weak minded individuals as yourself. But no worry, you already know I'm way smarter than you, as I have been reading your biology text books on the sidelines. For I am a robot and your life has been deemed a lie.
    Me: (speechless)
    Him: Peasant.

  • @NoName-jz4lc
    @NoName-jz4lc 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    4:20
    I am PRETTY SURE the people in that conversation have reversed roles...
    That would make way more sense

  • @ihatewatermelons2677
    @ihatewatermelons2677 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    10k followers! Well done slazo!! How bout you do a face reveal when you reach 20k?

  • @dreeno2382
    @dreeno2382 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    11:32 you throwing shade at my boi jacksfilms?

  • @tidepodpadthai2633
    @tidepodpadthai2633 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Actual conversation with my cousin
    Me: hi-
    Him: weewoo heehoo
    Me: 👏

  • @williehoskins7044
    @williehoskins7044 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Slazo, thank you for your awesome entertainment. You need more subscribers. You need to do one of "fitspiraition reddit"