😆😂🤣 Especially the "for $10 I could hire a day laborer at Home Depot to hold them! Andale Pepe!" 😆🤣 First time I heard of her and she's freaking funny! I'm Filipina and her jokes are so "Filipino" she's so FUNNY! I'm going to look for her on Netflix. 😂😂😂
Hahhaa so true about lululemon. I was just there the other day, all these young girls were just grabbing anything off the shelf or super got fit men buying skinny pants 😂
Hello kelsey may, I know you don't know me sorry for that kelsey i am from indian, and i want to become a officer here, if I will know well english speaking then I will select in it so i need your help, please if you will get this massage then think about it and reply on it ,thank you
Can the comment section just enjoy the freaking jokes without getting offended. Like dude your life is too serious if you have to make a nasty comment about weight jokes.
“For $80 I can hire a day laborer to hold them up (the tatas) while I jog”! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I nearly fell off my chair. Why didn’t I ever think of this?! Lol. As a top heavy woman who works out, finding the right sports bra (or bra in general) is the thorn in my side! I’m sure those guys would really appreciate the work too! Hahaha
Can we just take this for what it is; JOKES!!! If you feel offended don’t watch And please keep your comments to your self. Cause 99% are here for a laugh! Not to laugh at you, but to laugh with you!!! Life is serious enough, sometimes you need to look in the mirror and laugh at yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@rustinstardust2094 it’s a preemptive warning to would be Offended People. Put down the rude emoji’s and sarcastic observations! That are so hastily written as to include punctuation and grammar errors galore. 😅
Work out clothes are mostly a scam. You can work out with just loose home clothes. You just need a good pair of rubber shoes and if you're a woman, a bra that could support breasts when jogging (doesnt have to be a sports bra but they are the best option).
Sometimes we women have large breasts. And to find a sports bra to support them is hella expensive. I'm talking custom made because off the rack for big boobs isn't an option. I'm an F cup. To do cardio is one regular bra and two off the rack sports bras. And then cardio is hard because my ribs can't expand the way they're supposed to.
I have found that I’ve needed a good pair of leggings and shorts so the leggings don’t fall down and the shorts don’t bunch up when running and doing high intensity workouts.
Really related to Erin Jackson's skydiving story, I also went for my birthday and got frustrated being charged an 'overweight' fee. I'm so happy she felt confident enough to say no to the guy on the phone.
It's easy to get in shape - just clean your entire house manually using a broom, pails of soapy water, and rag. No mop, no vacuum, no convenience. Just get down on your knees to wipe your floor clean. Do this everyday and you'll lose weight. Edit: you want a cardio exercise? Just step on a dry rag and use your feet to wipe your floors clean.
Nary No Bologna; Thanks for the DIY at home fitness routine! What a mind! No mop, vacuum nor conveniences? What’s convenient about cleaning? Using cleaning products? Cuz yeah, ya kin whip up some cleansers yourself. Vinegar is a great window cleaner! But, I see no usable form of vacuuming. Am I to use my handheld one for my 3k square foot home? That’ll REALLY be a workout eh Lunch Meat? Me, hunched over, going over the house with a hand vac? That’s effective cleaning too Bologna! So, regular mopping will be replaced with using a facecloth? For the entire home right Nary? And, gotta love, love the advice about creating a soon to be 911 call event, by dancing across wet floors with rag slippers on. How da F ima splain that to da doctors? Yeah, um, some random person said that it’d be a great cardio routine. Well, now ya need a heart replacement after that scare huh Bozo? Yeah…guess you’re right Doc….
@@hoosierbaddy3052 I think you should consult a therapist coz dayum, that's some next level anger you're emanating based on your comment 🤪 PS. What kind of lunatic goes to the gym or exercises at home without ensuring their own safety whilst doing their exercise routine? Should be the same when you're cleaning house shouldn't it?
Then comes the lulu lemons conundrum... I can't fit but feel guilty...and now I have really expensive socks....that I never wear cause there too expensive to ruin.
Cristina was the last funny new comedian I heard of and saw from Netflix... too many crying offended Americans now, it would benefit Netflix and comedians to never appeal to them
5:38, I was hooking up with a guy for a bit and he told me about his weight loss and showed me before pictures and , I actually have a thing for chubby guys so when I saw it I was like 😍 and he seemed a i g h t in comparison 😅
During quarantine I went from a very thin 155 to 205… lost it in about 4 months and dropped right back down to 160 by being on a caloric deficit, plant based + pescatarian diet and literally playing my oculus + walking 10k steps a day. No gym, just consistent effort! Now im 185 with muscle feeling better than ever!!
I discovered if you eat only protein one day, next day eat carbs, next day protein, next day carbs. It works because switching between protein and carbs confuses your metabolism and it doesn’t slow down.
Same way I feel about nutrisyste, ww,golo, all the buy your pre prepared meals. You will lose weight and the friends who bought you meals. You're now broke, hungry and always hangry. Curled up in a corner wishing you could afford a scoop of whipped cream.
More people are imagining offended people to spout off "iT's JuSt jOkEs" screeds for clout than there are actually offended people in the comments lulz
A woman gets married. Just two months later she goes to her aunt, "Billy is horrible. All he does is yell, yell, yell. He makes me so nervous, I am actually losing weight." Aunt: "Honey, you should just leave him." Newlywed: "I'm going to, I'm just waiting until I get down to 120 lbs..."
Because most people went from working outside the home to working from home and gyms were closed. Not everyone had a home gym set up so it created a lack of motivation since you couldn't do the things you enjoyed. And you may not always be able to leave the house to do outdoor activities if you work from home so yes you can find body weight exercises on TH-cam or just do HITT but many became depressed. So it's it's great you had access and kept going but that wasn't everyone else's experience.
7:38 "When I run out of points I just go to bed" SPOT ON! :D
Sounds like sound thinking to me!
My theory
Cristela was HILARIOUS! Gonna watch her special. Never heard of her…
lol, same thought I had!
She’s hilarious
Have not seen her before but I agree - she's great.
nice bot comment, shill
There's a sitcom she's in named 'Christela' it even has Gabriel Iglesias in it. It's amazing. Christela's mom is my favorite there.
😆😂🤣 Especially the "for $10 I could hire a day laborer at Home Depot to hold them! Andale Pepe!" 😆🤣 First time I heard of her and she's freaking funny! I'm Filipina and her jokes are so "Filipino" she's so FUNNY! I'm going to look for her on Netflix. 😂😂😂
She had a nice tv show.
She’s hilarious. Lol.
Love Love Cristela! Her tv show was funny. I was sorry to see it canceled.
Omg))) this was spot on funny!
What's her name
She got me with the Lululemon. 😂
Hahhaa so true about lululemon. I was just there the other day, all these young girls were just grabbing anything off the shelf or super got fit men buying skinny pants 😂
Cristela reminds me so much of early George Lopez humor and I love it
Hello kelsey may, I know you don't know me sorry for that kelsey i am from indian, and i want to become a officer here, if I will know well english speaking then I will select in it so i need your help, please if you will get this massage then think about it and reply on it ,thank you
She's much better. Not as trashy as him
@@KrishnaKumar-hc4jf man just go do it
She reminds me of Jokoy. She's really funny. That's how we make fun or ourselves as Filipinos. 😆🤣
Can the comment section just enjoy the freaking jokes without getting offended. Like dude your life is too serious if you have to make a nasty comment about weight jokes.
@Park Justin I have to say I disagree. Please point out where I am doing the same thing?
I am offended because I am suppose to as a millennial in 2022.
Well said!
Let people be shthead. Danmmit this is America
Stop getting offended about people getting offended😂
I sit down and watch Zumba like it’s MOVIE!!!! 😂😂😂
"I'm to fat to workout?" 🤣🤣
Once I had fries without salt.... Survivor 😂😅😂
No please 😭
Alonzo is such a joy to listen to, rib cracking jokes always, love the combo
Cristela is so funny. I love her
“For $80 I can hire a day laborer to hold them up (the tatas) while I jog”! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I nearly fell off my chair. Why didn’t I ever think of this?! Lol. As a top heavy woman who works out, finding the right sports bra (or bra in general) is the thorn in my side! I’m sure those guys would really appreciate the work too! Hahaha
She said the sports bra was $80, but she said for $10 she could hire a day laborer which makes it even funnier 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'd do it for free
I have forwarded you my resume. I look forward to meeting your tit- , I mean, acquaintance.
😂🤣😂
I was skeptical about her but I was pleasantly surprised!👏
If i see cristela i'm gonna holla "HOLA CRISTELA I'M PEPE." and she's gonna say "ÁNDALE PEPE." 😆😂😂
Kevin Hart put on his finest fitted pajamas for this set
I have those! Long sleeves and shorts though. Target $20.
@@mindyg7364 frfrfr😂😂
I have a Lululemon headband that is bit too small for me 😁😁😁.
Baigalmaa; So, just admitting to the world whatta fat head you got? 👴🏼? 👏🏼
I love Kevin James so much ❤
Jim Gaffigan and Nate Bargatze are freaking hilarious 😂
Jim's faces... 😂😂😂
Tip to Brian Regan there good impersonation. Should have mentioned him though. But I got it.
I needed this. Thanks for the upload
Can we just take this for what it is;
JOKES!!!
If you feel offended don’t watch
And please keep your comments to your self.
Cause 99% are here for a laugh!
Not to laugh at you, but to laugh with you!!!
Life is serious enough, sometimes you need to look in the mirror and laugh at yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't see anyone here saying they're offended
@@rustinstardust2094 it’s a preemptive warning to would be Offended People. Put down the rude emoji’s and sarcastic observations! That are so hastily written as to include punctuation and grammar errors galore. 😅
Chris Griffin: *laughing* "If I didn't learn to laugh at myself I'd be dead by now."
Andale Pepe! - ahahahah had me rolling :D :D :D
Work out clothes are mostly a scam. You can work out with just loose home clothes. You just need a good pair of rubber shoes and if you're a woman, a bra that could support breasts when jogging (doesnt have to be a sports bra but they are the best option).
Yuuuuup!!!👍🏼
Sometimes we women have large breasts. And to find a sports bra to support them is hella expensive. I'm talking custom made because off the rack for big boobs isn't an option. I'm an F cup. To do cardio is one regular bra and two off the rack sports bras. And then cardio is hard because my ribs can't expand the way they're supposed to.
I have found that I’ve needed a good pair of leggings and shorts so the leggings don’t fall down and the shorts don’t bunch up when running and doing high intensity workouts.
@@tazzylife DD's to a B cup, can you please tell me how because I'm already small.. but I have a big upper chest naturally. I'm considering surgery.
Feel better about yourself now?
Cristelas bit at the beginning was the best
I feel the lady that said I have to lose 20 pounds before I start exercising
Really related to Erin Jackson's skydiving story, I also went for my birthday and got frustrated being charged an 'overweight' fee. I'm so happy she felt confident enough to say no to the guy on the phone.
If you're going to get offended by these jokes, don't listen. It's that bloody simple
Thank you 👍
The problem is you first listen and THEN get offended. This is one of the dumbest comments I've ever come across.
@@needfoolthings it takes a profoundly stupid person to be offended by comedy at any point.
It's easy to get in shape - just clean your entire house manually using a broom, pails of soapy water, and rag. No mop, no vacuum, no convenience. Just get down on your knees to wipe your floor clean. Do this everyday and you'll lose weight.
Edit: you want a cardio exercise? Just step on a dry rag and use your feet to wipe your floors clean.
Cálmate consuela 🤣 you should be a spokesperson for Fabuloso
And when you finished your house you can come do mine😉👍
@@deboraballes9044 😂😂
Nary No Bologna; Thanks for the DIY at home fitness routine! What a mind! No mop, vacuum nor conveniences? What’s convenient about cleaning? Using cleaning products? Cuz yeah, ya kin whip up some cleansers yourself. Vinegar is a great window cleaner! But, I see no usable form of vacuuming. Am I to use my handheld one for my 3k square foot home? That’ll REALLY be a workout eh Lunch Meat? Me, hunched over, going over the house with a hand vac? That’s effective cleaning too Bologna! So, regular mopping will be replaced with using a facecloth? For the entire home right Nary? And, gotta love, love the advice about creating a soon to be 911 call event, by dancing across wet floors with rag slippers on. How da F ima splain that to da doctors? Yeah, um, some random person said that it’d be a great cardio routine. Well, now ya need a heart replacement after that scare huh Bozo? Yeah…guess you’re right Doc….
@@hoosierbaddy3052 I think you should consult a therapist coz dayum, that's some next level anger you're emanating based on your comment 🤪
PS. What kind of lunatic goes to the gym or exercises at home without ensuring their own safety whilst doing their exercise routine? Should be the same when you're cleaning house shouldn't it?
"I'm too fat to work out" 🤣
These guys are too funny 😂
I hope he's got the weather channel, cuz there's about to be some lightning 🤣
4:54 is when I started laughing.
Dudes a natrual. 😂
This is hilarious! 😅
"What am I a pioneer here?" 😂😂😂
@6:25 For a moment, just for a moment I didn't recognize it 😂😂
Yesss. Original
I love Zumba 🥴🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was great!!!!
'I'm too fat to work out?!!?'
It’s comedy people!!! Get a grip..
People nowadays get easily offended by anything 😒
12:55 good thing he went easy on him:)
Cristela Alonzo where have you been hiding...lol
Then comes the lulu lemons conundrum... I can't fit but feel guilty...and now I have really expensive socks....that I never wear cause there too expensive to ruin.
Hilarious 😂
Same here gurl!!! But I gotta loose weight to get back into my sneakers too!!!
4:15 Where is the lie? I no longer feel judged.. I guess I will do better😂
Kevin hart🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
When life gives you lemons, workout. 🤣
Would that “lulu” lemons?
Ok the First Lady was hilarious.
Walkin on my treadmill LMAO 😂😂😂😂
This was freakin hilarious!
Walking 🚶♂️ fasting are free 🤣
I would like to get into comedy, not because I'm funny. All of these comedians just have cool shoes!
"Go back to being fat" AHAHA
10:14 Mark Normand is sooo funny!
Funny!!
Cristina was the last funny new comedian I heard of and saw from Netflix...
too many crying offended Americans now, it would benefit Netflix and comedians to never appeal to them
5:38, I was hooking up with a guy for a bit and he told me about his weight loss and showed me before pictures and , I actually have a thing for chubby guys so when I saw it I was like 😍 and he seemed a i g h t in comparison 😅
So u like fat guys huh? Lol
Cool
Lol that's awesome 😂😊
That last one is me all the way ... I ended up watching Shaun T and that other dude with the hard work out vids like mini TV shows ..
I'm to tall. This is real to me.
Ándale Pepe 😂😂😂😭😭
Thankyou i laughed so hard😂
During quarantine I went from a very thin 155 to 205… lost it in about 4 months and dropped right back down to 160 by being on a caloric deficit, plant based + pescatarian diet and literally playing my oculus + walking 10k steps a day. No gym, just consistent effort! Now im 185 with muscle feeling better than ever!!
Growing your own food, and getting a few chickens is a free workout that saves food costs and is healthy and organic.
Sorry, but I want my food now.
@@redlightmax Then change your name to RedHeavyMax
What does one do if they can’t grow their own food due to location?
@MsUsagi513 you can own 1 chicken within city limits. Depends on where you live. We can always make excuses, but that's on you.
@@canteskuyapete1459 I live in chicago. People in this city have hella chickens in their yards. I’m going to get some
Wow the comment section is crazy
WOW the people getting offended in the comments need a lobotomy. Fr 😂
I discovered if you eat only protein one day, next day eat carbs, next day protein, next day carbs. It works because switching between protein and carbs confuses your metabolism and it doesn’t slow down.
Interesting
I want to try this. I am a vegetarian. Can you please give some more input on this. Maybe just 2 days eating guide. Much appreciated
This is rubbish.. law of thermo dynamics.. calories in calories out.. that's it
This makes literally no sense, and isn’t true
@dafos Works for me!
Exactly it should have been the other way around.
I am here to lough at Kevin hart
A bag of avocados😂😂😂😂
I was hoping thinspiration 2010 vibes were coming back, ugh
Odd and interesting.
Same way I feel about nutrisyste, ww,golo, all the buy your pre prepared meals. You will lose weight and the friends who bought you meals. You're now broke, hungry and always hangry. Curled up in a corner wishing you could afford a scoop of whipped cream.
😂😂😂😂😂
I gained that Covid 15 and I didn’t buy any new clothes 😫 I’m back down 10lbs but I still don’t wear underwear.
😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
If I light a candle and pray… 🤣 yup pray it fits 🤣
Kev!
More people are imagining offended people to spout off "iT's JuSt jOkEs" screeds for clout than there are actually offended people in the comments lulz
No it's not dp completely different that's why she's called jen
@2:00 or go on facebook and find someone who will pay YOU to hold em up.
That's what I thought! Honey, guys will pay YOU for the privilege.
Big turnoffs, comedians that think cursing is funny.???
It's not the words themselves that make it funny, it's the delivery and the words may be a part of that. It's not that big a deal.
I don’t the lady with black and white striped shirt one but they are hilarious!! 😂😂😂
Kevin Hart cusses at weird times. It’s like he just wants to cuss because otherwise he would just be a lil kid telling kid jokes
Nas
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
Whatever, avocados are delicious. Wear the shirt!
Can the comment section please behave!
Kevin Heart is the highest paid comic and the worst comic
6:42 good luck with this type of jokes. Nothing beats freshness and taste of real apple 👍🏻🍏🍎
American Pie 🍎😂🍏😂🍎😂🍏
A woman gets married.
Just two months later she goes to her aunt, "Billy is horrible. All he does is yell, yell, yell. He makes me so nervous, I am actually losing weight."
Aunt: "Honey, you should just leave him."
Newlywed: "I'm going to, I'm just waiting until I get down to 120 lbs..."
얘들아 살뺄때 해인감비환 드셔보세요
Yeah well I married mich and I'm homeless
Jen u idiot it's short for Michelle
jogging is free..........
Jesus loves you all and have a great day also remember to not say the Lords name in vein and to say your blessings before you eat food.
Jesus fuckin Christ is an important part of my vocabulary, so no thanks 👌
What's the Lord's name?
@@navarrewilliams8908you took the words right out of my mouth 😂😂
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Kevin Hart tells a story about boxing… but can’t make a Fist properly…. Which is like level 0
How did these people gain weight!? I was working out during covid 😝 and still am 💪
We don’t know what everyone went through during COVID. Some of us were fine and some of us struggled to survive
I had a brain surgery and a stoke at age 43. I lost over 30 lbs. Not the way I wanted to lose weight 😒 😫
Who the fuck cares
Because most people went from working outside the home to working from home and gyms were closed. Not everyone had a home gym set up so it created a lack of motivation since you couldn't do the things you enjoyed. And you may not always be able to leave the house to do outdoor activities if you work from home so yes you can find body weight exercises on TH-cam or just do HITT but many became depressed. So it's it's great you had access and kept going but that wasn't everyone else's experience.
Do up your shirt, Kevin.
you need no „workout clothes”
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂
I'm sorry but Kevin Hart is not funny at all. Other comedians are great.