Hi there! I see you're also a big fan of Hoshikawa, and I can tell you care about her a lot. I saw in your description that you're new to Japanese, so I thought to give you some feedback. I am by no means a professional, but I hope you take any criticism I may have as constructive. As a preface to this I’d like to add that if you haven’t already, I strongly urge that you read all Lyger’s translation/styling guides from the below link. Link- lyger.github.io/scripts/ *For now, I’ve gone through and looked for any errors I could see. Keep in mind that I’m sharing some of my personal philosophies in doing so, feel free to refute me if you feel the need. In general: For anything pertaining to the font size etc, I recommend just reading the above guide. In addition, I don’t think adding in “wwww” as laughter would be a good for a translation since it’s tied to the Japanese language. Also, generally 3rd person sounds strange in English, so using first person pronouns would flow better. There may be extremely rare occasions where it’s applicable, but I haven’t found many. Continuing, if you’re going to include punctuation be consistent on its usage as well as capitalization. Adding in hiragana/Japanese text to the subtitles are also something that I would also advise against. You used 「てんQ」for example various times, it seems strange to put into an English translation, and your audience shouldn’t be expected to be able to read it. Specifically: 0:41- ダサい means "lame" or "uncool" 1:05- The part in parentheses isn’t really needed. 1:42- This line isn’t “I’ll calm down”, she says 「ちょっと白湯飲みます。」so she’s saying she’s going to drink some hot/heated water. 3:14- I think “shit” may be too strong of a word here. 4:18- This word’s difficult to translate, the way to translate it depends on the context. Something with “close up” included could be workable. 4:29- Rather than shocked, she’s looking with upturned eyes. Sort of like puppy eyes. 5:20- For Ego Search, there’s a term called “ego-surf” you could use. Alternatively you could just say something along the lines of looking herself up on Twitter, looking at her hashtags etc. 5:56- Wakame is the name of the guy who superchatted, it’s helpful to have chat up when TLing parts of the stream to catch things like this. 6:55- If you can, translate parts where she talks about the comments, it looks strange if left out. If you need to you could also cut it out in the editing process and transition from there. 9:48- Mimetic words etc are hard to translate over in text. Instead of smug, when she’s actively doing it, using smirk would be fine. Like, * smirk * for example. 10:08- Based on what she says after, if you got rid of the brackets and said “first time superchatting” it would sound the same. 11:18- Literally it’s “green background”, but green screen may be more correct. I’d make sure to always check wasei eigo when possible. For example, 「ミス」 doesn’t mean to physically miss, but to make a mistake. 11:19- She means that she wouldn’t mind adding a green screen. Saying, “It’s fine though” may portray the opposite. 12:36- For, 「チラチラ」instead of glimpse, glance fits here. Like, “Could you glance this way?” 12:55- With the comment TLed up top the screen is a lot noisier. I don’t think it takes away a lot to not include it. Especially considering her response for context. 15:03-The Karaoke effects were honestly amazing, and I think you did great on that part! I know song translations are daunting but if you’re able to find a translation someone else has already done try translating it yourself and comparing the two. It would make that part just that much better! And it would be great practice. Lastly, there were parts you dropped lines. If you need help understanding them or if you think you mishear them there’s nothing wrong with finding help to look over it. If you use discord, I recommend the Hololive Fan discord and the 2423 Club discord. There are entire sections for translation help with people proficient in the language able to help you. They’d also be able to go over grammar and such with you too. Here’s a pastebin featuring all the links for VTuber servers if needed. Link- pastebin.com/nRayvuVP Like I said above, I’m not a pro. But these are just things I noticed and thought you may want to know. And I hope I don’t come off high handed in doing so. If you ever were to think such a thing, know it’s not my intention. With that said, have a nice day.
Thanks for being so receptive to feedback! I'm glad to hear you care a lot about what translating actually means to do. Over time I think you'll be able to improve once you can understand what's likely to be said in the flow of conversation. In general, just continued exposure to the language and building up vocabulary is helpful. Especially when it comes to understanding words you wouldn't be able to pick up. But while vocabulary may be easy to build, getting a solid foundation of grammar would be the best to build first. To be blunt, even just by looking up words etc when you're unsure is miles ahead of what some people are willing to do sometimes. A second set of ears is always a great help too, I've had many times I myself asked for help as well due to mishearing things. And I think the attitude you have that leads you to check and research the things you did is one of the greatest assets you can have. That, and the stamina to re watch parts of your videos countless times for QC.(I'm half joking but it does help.) In addition to the previous links I provided, I do have one extra suggestion for you if you don't mind. I'm unaware if you use Twitter, but there's a hashtag that you can use to post translations on there with a sizeable following. It doesn't matter if they're TH-cam videos or 2 min clips uploaded to Twitter. I think in addition to appealing to a wider audience, being able to interact with other translators/individuals and understand how they do things is a good idea! The hashtag is #VTuberEN and is maintained by an account called VTuberSubtitles if you choose to do so. Personally, I started out on Twitter after looking up guides by Lyger, arc_ and Loserbait myself. I hold them as my ideals for both quality and translation philosophy. If you ever happen upon some of their work I think you can learn a lot from them. With that, the last bit I would like to say would be thank you. For translating her, readily accepting feedback, and since I've never really had anyone say that they looked up to my work before. So I'm honestly very happy. Even more so if it helped you get into Hoshikawa, as that's the main goal I really ever had for translating her. I think you show a lot of promise with your current attitude towards translation and the individual you're translating. So, with all that said, I look forward to your future work. And, let's do our best representing her with all we got! After all, she's the cutest girl in the world. Right?
I think leaving in the ‘wwww’ and ‘ego search’ is fine. At this point, like ‘kawaii’ everyone knows what it means anyway. The bigger problem is consistency.
@@Tremulousnut for people new to japanese and its popculture, its really alienating to leave things in like that. It can be a big turn off and the last thing you want is turning away new potential viewers because of your translation. Not everyone knows these things, your definition of everyone is limited to the vtuber fandom and that kinda closes off everyone else whos not in it
I was in this stream really love to see her with a lot of expressions and movements now. 3D debut when? And as always Matsuri sending a superchat well im not surprise anymore also that "GREETINGS FROM ARGENTINA" guy 😂
Stream just started Matsuri already sending 12k yen superchat lmfao. She looks like a fish when she does that :O mouth. I'm really curious of what came to her mind when someone asked what she plans to do for 3D.
"Skip to 4:12 if you don't want to see her suffer" What?! Translator, I'm sorry but, can't you see that many of us live to see this girl suffer? I appreciate the fact you put it in but I'm shocked at the fact you assume I want to skip any bit of her suffering. Thanks for the translation and hard work!
@@yoon7750 once matsuri says "give me money onii-chan" in her stream with a loli voice and the chat was flooded with red and orange superchat their average earning per stream is usually around 400-1000 usd after youtube tax and hololive cut and thats on top of their monthly salary
![[ENG SUB] Kanae & Hoshikawa's Minecraft Achievement Stream #6 Highlights (PART 1) [Nijisanji]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NYq3CmEKTJo/mqdefault.jpg)
![[ENG SUB] Kanae & Hoshikawa's Minecraft Achievement Stream #6 Highlights (PART 1) [Nijisanji]](/img/tr.png)
![[Hololive/NorioP] Marine has big butt problems (Marine, Tamaki, Coco, Shion)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6YsJjN322S4/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Eng Sub] "Can a Man and a Woman Be 'JUST Friends'?" Nijisanji Girls' Talk [Nijisanji Vtuber]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BQqFmFngQ5M/mqdefault.jpg)
Matsuri simping so fast that she donated once before the stream even started lmao
LMAO MATSURI SIMPING ON HOSHIKAWA AS ALWAYS ALSO THAT NEW EXPRESSION REMINDS ME OF AN ART STUDENT WHO LIKES TO STARE AT LOT AT HER AUDIENCE
Ah! You must be referring to Suzuhara Lulu the Eldr-
Damn it too soon for anothe-
14:15 "Face to the left and open your eyes fast" hold up someone's teaching her the way of the art schudent oh no
Ricardooooo!
Hi there! I see you're also a big fan of Hoshikawa, and I can tell you care about her a lot. I saw in your description that you're new to Japanese, so I thought to give you some feedback. I am by no means a professional, but I hope you take any criticism I may have as constructive. As a preface to this I’d like to add that if you haven’t already, I strongly urge that you read all Lyger’s translation/styling guides from the below link.
Link- lyger.github.io/scripts/
*For now, I’ve gone through and looked for any errors I could see. Keep in mind that I’m sharing some of my personal philosophies in doing so, feel free to refute me if you feel the need.
In general:
For anything pertaining to the font size etc, I recommend just reading the above guide. In addition, I don’t think adding in “wwww” as laughter would be a good for a translation since it’s tied to the Japanese language. Also, generally 3rd person sounds strange in English, so using first person pronouns would flow better. There may be extremely rare occasions where it’s applicable, but I haven’t found many. Continuing, if you’re going to include punctuation be consistent on its usage as well as capitalization. Adding in hiragana/Japanese text to the subtitles are also something that I would also advise against. You used 「てんQ」for example various times, it seems strange to put into an English translation, and your audience shouldn’t be expected to be able to read it.
Specifically:
0:41- ダサい means "lame" or "uncool"
1:05- The part in parentheses isn’t really needed.
1:42- This line isn’t “I’ll calm down”, she says 「ちょっと白湯飲みます。」so she’s saying she’s going to drink some hot/heated water.
3:14- I think “shit” may be too strong of a word here.
4:18- This word’s difficult to translate, the way to translate it depends on the context. Something with “close up” included could be workable.
4:29- Rather than shocked, she’s looking with upturned eyes. Sort of like puppy eyes.
5:20- For Ego Search, there’s a term called “ego-surf” you could use. Alternatively you could just say something along the lines of looking herself up on Twitter, looking at her hashtags etc.
5:56- Wakame is the name of the guy who superchatted, it’s helpful to have chat up when TLing parts of the stream to catch things like this.
6:55- If you can, translate parts where she talks about the comments, it looks strange if left out. If you need to you could also cut it out in the editing process and transition from there.
9:48- Mimetic words etc are hard to translate over in text. Instead of smug, when she’s actively doing it, using smirk would be fine. Like, * smirk * for example.
10:08- Based on what she says after, if you got rid of the brackets and said “first time superchatting” it would sound the same.
11:18- Literally it’s “green background”, but green screen may be more correct. I’d make sure to always check wasei eigo when possible. For example, 「ミス」 doesn’t mean to physically miss, but to make a mistake.
11:19- She means that she wouldn’t mind adding a green screen. Saying, “It’s fine though” may portray the opposite.
12:36- For, 「チラチラ」instead of glimpse, glance fits here. Like, “Could you glance this way?”
12:55- With the comment TLed up top the screen is a lot noisier. I don’t think it takes away a lot to not include it. Especially considering her response for context.
15:03-The Karaoke effects were honestly amazing, and I think you did great on that part! I know song translations are daunting but if you’re able to find a translation someone else has already done try translating it yourself and comparing the two. It would make that part just that much better! And it would be great practice.
Lastly, there were parts you dropped lines. If you need help understanding them or if you think you mishear them there’s nothing wrong with finding help to look over it. If you use discord, I recommend the Hololive Fan discord and the 2423 Club discord. There are entire sections for translation help with people proficient in the language able to help you. They’d also be able to go over grammar and such with you too. Here’s a pastebin featuring all the links for VTuber servers if needed.
Link- pastebin.com/nRayvuVP
Like I said above, I’m not a pro. But these are just things I noticed and thought you may want to know. And I hope I don’t come off high handed in doing so. If you ever were to think such a thing, know it’s not my intention. With that said, have a nice day.
Thanks for being so receptive to feedback! I'm glad to hear you care a lot about what translating actually means to do. Over time I think you'll be able to improve once you can understand what's likely to be said in the flow of conversation. In general, just continued exposure to the language and building up vocabulary is helpful. Especially when it comes to understanding words you wouldn't be able to pick up. But while vocabulary may be easy to build, getting a solid foundation of grammar would be the best to build first. To be blunt, even just by looking up words etc when you're unsure is miles ahead of what some people are willing to do sometimes. A second set of ears is always a great help too, I've had many times I myself asked for help as well due to mishearing things. And I think the attitude you have that leads you to check and research the things you did is one of the greatest assets you can have. That, and the stamina to re watch parts of your videos countless times for QC.(I'm half joking but it does help.)
In addition to the previous links I provided, I do have one extra suggestion for you if you don't mind. I'm unaware if you use Twitter, but there's a hashtag that you can use to post translations on there with a sizeable following. It doesn't matter if they're TH-cam videos or 2 min clips uploaded to Twitter. I think in addition to appealing to a wider audience, being able to interact with other translators/individuals and understand how they do things is a good idea! The hashtag is #VTuberEN and is maintained by an account called VTuberSubtitles if you choose to do so.
Personally, I started out on Twitter after looking up guides by Lyger, arc_ and Loserbait myself. I hold them as my ideals for both quality and translation philosophy. If you ever happen upon some of their work I think you can learn a lot from them. With that, the last bit I would like to say would be thank you. For translating her, readily accepting feedback, and since I've never really had anyone say that they looked up to my work before. So I'm honestly very happy. Even more so if it helped you get into Hoshikawa, as that's the main goal I really ever had for translating her.
I think you show a lot of promise with your current attitude towards translation and the individual you're translating. So, with all that said, I look forward to your future work. And, let's do our best representing her with all we got! After all, she's the cutest girl in the world. Right?
I think leaving in the ‘wwww’ and ‘ego search’ is fine. At this point, like ‘kawaii’ everyone knows what it means anyway. The bigger problem is consistency.
爾靈山 no
@@Tremulousnut for people new to japanese and its popculture, its really alienating to leave things in like that. It can be a big turn off and the last thing you want is turning away new potential viewers because of your translation. Not everyone knows these things, your definition of everyone is limited to the vtuber fandom and that kinda closes off everyone else whos not in it
there it is. The upgrade before 3D debut. it's coming for her, I can feel it.
Matsuri simping: 1:55
Now that's the good stuff. Her nose is still barely visible even when she looks to the side though lol.
I just adore her shocked face, it's soo cute
That’s some effort on the lyrics, also I really like the smug face lol.
I was in this stream really love to see her with a lot of expressions and movements now. 3D debut when?
And as always Matsuri sending a superchat well im not surprise anymore also that "GREETINGS FROM ARGENTINA" guy 😂
I am...surprised but a welcome one.
Stream just started Matsuri already sending 12k yen superchat lmfao. She looks like a fish when she does that :O mouth. I'm really curious of what came to her mind when someone asked what she plans to do for 3D.
Thank you for making this it converted me to a whatever you call a hoshikawa follower
comment : wink!
hoshikawa : *blink*
"Skip to 4:12 if you don't want to see her suffer"
What?! Translator, I'm sorry but, can't you see that many of us live to see this girl suffer? I appreciate the fact you put it in but I'm shocked at the fact you assume I want to skip any bit of her suffering.
Thanks for the translation and hard work!
Watching Smug EroGaki calling herself cute 30 times in 1 stream wasn't in my plans.
てんQです, Translator!
A New challenger for the staring contest against the Eldr--
None could rival the Eldritch goddess
kyoot
"Skip if you don't want to see her suffer"
Me : it can't be that bad, its prob suffer in a joking way
Me after i watched it : i regret not skipping D:
Hoshikawa boing boing
Rushia flat
i somehow got roa vibes from her new face
Wait, she has two different eye color?
I'm always looking at another place...THE SUBTITLES yes the subtitles...
0:05 idk why, but I don't trust in that smile XD
Matsuri such a simp that I learned about Hoshikawa's 2.0 model from seeing her tweet about it, which was just her screaming about hoshikawa lmfao
She became 2.5 D i see, the other company has this kind of model as default right?
I believe the 4th gen of Hololive has them, but not sure on that.
@@Arashi257 true
【 so, her new form is big face, i see
*Ars wanna challenge me* 】
that 1 dislike is coming from...
Matsuri is cute.
Still waiting for 3d
Matsuri...
matsuri simping as always
Matsuri simping XD
Meanwhile matsuri donating 12000 yen
1:28 for interested
Why am I not surprised.
It's ¥24000 since she donated once before the stream started
@@rajamrifqi5764 wtf just how rich was them irl
@@yoon7750 once matsuri says "give me money onii-chan" in her stream with a loli voice and the chat was flooded with red and orange superchat
their average earning per stream is usually around 400-1000 usd after youtube tax and hololive cut and thats on top of their monthly salary
@@rajamrifqi5764 how in hell that gonna be true .. Man i guess we really cant underestimate the power of simping .. Thats rich af
I can see she got the CoCo Kaine buff.
Step one me.
Kanae is still definitely more pretty