the whole “strong independent woman who doesn’t let petty things upset her” thing is a guilt trip and a gaslight. the idea that women of color are just “so strong and independent” and “dont get bothered by petty people” is a way to convince them that they shouldn’t feel upset when someone is being actively hurtful and racist and to excuse not ever stepping in to help or support because “you got this you independent queen”. that whole thing is why my mom has trouble asking for help and relying on people now.
Well said💯 People who guilt trip and or gaslight either don’t even know they’re being manipulative bc they’ve been raised like that themselves( *They know that being manipulative works, bc it’s worked on them from their own freaking family, so now they just do it subconsciously[this doesn’t really make the action better]* )or they know exactly what they’re doing. The scary part is, it can be really hard to figure out their intentions.
No actually it's not bc I am a white female that is strong and independent I ask for help if I need it and I don't let petty cunts bother me bc they are just uncultured swine yes it still hurts to be called racist things but it's just words it's not manipulative or gaslighting it's true unfiltered blunt harsh truth all women strong or weak independent or dependent all need to be supported and stood up for
@@vipervenom7804 things that are progressive for a white woman wont always be supportive for a woman of another race. fo example black woman having long hair is a lot more progressive for us while white women being free to have short hair. please do not dismiss my experience simply because you had a different one as a woman of another race. we have different stereotypes associated with us and that is something important to acknowledge.
IMO the issue with the SIL is secondary. So this “kind” bf has been well aware of the racism against OP for quite some time and has done nothing? Yeah that’s a firm NO from me on that one if he won’t, yeah, won’t not can’t, support OP then sounds like some soul searching needs to happen. I’m not saying he should fight battles for her but to be completely passive against it is disgusting. Sounds like a toxic situation to me.
I honestly think OP should dump him. Ik that I shouldn’t judge their whole (what seemed to be stable) relationship on one thing, but if he’s surrounded by these kinds of people, there is probably some internalized racism
I see where your coming from but he probably doesnt think like that since he did start dating OP. Thats also his family it would be pretty hard for him to stop involiving himself especially if he has a good relationship with them.
@@jackyounger9479 I understand that and that was wrong i agree. However maybe he didnt tell her for that exact reason like maybe he knew how upset she would be. Im not excusing his behaviour but being in a family who has those views while you dont can be tricky
@@Undeadkitty3798 that's not the only issue. The main issue is him basically telling her to kowtow instead of standing up for herself in the face of an injustice. It's a silent admission that she is less than in his and his family's eyes and she should be okay with it. It's the othering "you're strong and independent" view of her that allows dehumanizing and harmful acts over and over again. This is way deeper than a picture. If he actually loves her, he needs to reevaluate his ideals and mindset and basically deprogram the mindset he was raised with.
The sister in law deserved it and OP shouldnt have to apologize. Good on her for calling out racist. I do feel bad for the bf though thats a difficult thing to think about especially if hes close to his family
Family. That is A racist family. Is as for one to do it. The rest should know better and correct it,but nope. "Just let it be" "Let it go" "They'll change". NO! He is an enabler doormat & is like A carrier to A virus. He is worse than her. He lets the b.s. continue.
I don’t think so, it’s rude and I mean rude to crop someone out of a photo just because they have a darker skin tone than everyone else, plus if the parents wanted her out to why didn’t they just make the 2 break up? Also the sister in law is so entitled for thinking that it’s ok to talk behind someone’s back. I like the sister in laws friends for telling her, but why didn’t they tell her sooner?
Leave him, if he wasn’t willing to stand up for you back then, what makes you think he did now and will do in the future? Let as many people know about the ignorance and racism and leave that situation completely. I would have said the only thing different you could have done was go straight to your boyfriend rather then social media about the racism but definitely not the AH. Racism is never acceptable
Nope, expose racism publicly. No one should be allowed to benefit from other races while harbouring hatred in their heart for them. Especially potential in laws.
@@prettyprincess8187 that is what I say but she’s clearly not in a relationship where he is actively involved in her welfare where racism is concerned and isn’t bothering to help in any way. Definitely expose the racism on social media
This is one of the prettiest jar I've ever seen! 🥰 So talented and patient. This story...whoo chile! I think she should dump this guy. His family is racist and he's complicit. He's was completely gaslighting her by saying that racism is "petty." Even if he wasn't dating a woman of color he should call out the racist people in his life! Period. End of. If she doesn't dump him then couple's therapy for them and sensitivity classes for him are necessary.
@@ResinateByChanel Girl! Me and my boyfriend would've had to separate after what I would've said what I have said about his mother. LoL. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. His little heart would've cracked into pieces.
Not petty. You've shown me that you are strong. Its not an ultimatum its setting boundries coz its important yo know where you stand. Also thinking of what your future children may have to endure. Would you want them treated this way? Do you know if your man will stand up for them? Make sure they feel secure, loved, valued and wanted? I'm so sorry you were treated this way. Its disgusting. Yeah reposting it for all to see wasn't your best move but she posted it in a group chat not worrying about her repretation or about embarrassing you. She is getting the repercussions of her actions. The fact it wasn't a new thing and is known within the family is disgusting. For the record I'm white. Xxxxx Kia kaha xxxx
I’m sorry she has to be sis in laws with someone like that. Never be sorry for the boundaries you set with the ones that will hurt you. It’s not petty it is self care.
NTA like bruh thats so racist- they purposely removed her from photos bc shes "too dark" and shes just supposed to ignore it? thats just so racist and I cant even- I hope her bf shapes up or they break up bc he isnt as kind as she says he is if hes aware of it but not stepping in bc shes a strong women, its good that you think shes strong but like that isnt an excuse to let people- especially family members of his to be racist
I wouldn't give him the option, I'd just dump his ass and keep it moving. I learned the hard way about racism. My father beat my ass for being home a blk man. I shouldn't mix the races he told me. An when I grew up I realized with therapy that I have the right to have whomever I want in my life an or around me. An keeping away from my family was the most rewarding experience I've ever done for myself. I choose my family, I choose my friend. I'm so mad for you right now. That's the most disheartening thing I've heard in a very long while an your a beautiful queen an you shouldn't have to ever feel like you don't ever belong. An what did she think would happen even if she didn't respond on that iphone group chat that your photographer friend wouldn't tell you what she said?.. YOU DESERVE RESPECT, KINDNESS, AN TO BE SUPPORTED BY THE MAN YOU CLAIM. I understand it's his family but I had to walk away from mine if I ever wanted to be happy an frankly he should've never kept that from you if your to ever trust an respect him. That's just shameful behavior if I ever heard. You're beautiful, Blessings on Blessings on Blessings. Know your WORTH 💚🍀🐸
Wow, that boyfriend is a Catch. Not petty at all. She's strong, independent and don't take shit, a little too kind, if anything. She is right in every way. And boyfriend needs to get up his shit or get out of the picture (ba dum tss).
A passive enabler is no better than the abuser themself. I could've maybe understood if he had fought on it, but hadn't brought it up with OP because he didn't want to bring her extra grief, but just standing there and doing nothing when someone is being full on racist, excluding and bullying his girlfriend is not good and frankly something I would break up over.
Honestly op did the right decision when it came to her bf. She was calm and understanding but also stood her ground. And she also made a pretty decent deal. But this problem WILL come up again in the future and personally it's better to break things off. Maybe keep in touch as friends. But this relationship will not work out.
@@nerdgeekcosplay909 not easy but it's not too hard either! It just takes practice and patience! And it can get pretty expensive! Also be careful with resin because some can be toxic so make sure you work in a well ventilated area!!!
My mother-in-law was purposely cutting me out of photos. My husband's a professional photographer. I started showing him what was happening. Every single photo, he would cut his sister's heads off his mother's head off his father's body every single person in the photo was cut off except for me I was in full center. When she finally brought up hey you're cutting our heads off what are you doing. He said I'll quit cutting your heads off whenever you allow my wife to stay in photos. They stopped cutting me out of photos.
If he’s not standing in support of you now against his family racism…. He won’t in the future against anyone. You deserve better and you are NOT being petty
NTA, if your so scared of things like that them don't say those things, and it's obvious your boyfriend DOES NOT care. Because if he did he would've defended you
What worries me is that if they have kids how would the kids be treated? If the boyfriend is not willing to say or do anything now then it will be too late and worse when they have kids. Would the kids be treated like the family's secret? Would the family hide away any pictures of the kids? Either the family needs to be told they need to confront the racism, the boyfriend cuts off from the family, or they should split.
Being hurt that your boyfriend let's people treat you that way is anything but petty. You are not petty you are a human being with feelings and ultimatums are important things to have in life.
First off the whole family of the bf is just unbearable and it's good that she realised it not so late. The SIL, uncle are being racist and also his mom. Bf giving dumb excuses like you r a strong woman that don't let these petty things bother u is just stupid. They'll seem toxic af (The jar is soooo beautiful and wow the colour combination is just amazing they blended so well ✨🤌)
Being strong doesn't mean you don't need/deserve the support of your significant other. Also, the SIL doesn't deserve an apology when she's the one that's wrong. If anything, the SIL should be apologizing.
Wow.. I wonder if they broke up. If they stay together and have children, he will have difficulty supporting them especially if his family favors other grandkids over them. Hiding is not protecting.
Well, without all the details, I can think of one very valid reason for his family not to want her in any of the family pictures, they're not married, not even engaged. maybe the couple isn't as stable as SHE thinks and the family see an end to the relationship coming?
He is passive to his families behavior against her and complainant 😑; willing to please others and weave around conflict ✋😒 than to be her support standing beside her against his families clear racism against her. No sweet heart, she is absolutely right, these situations do NOT just dissolve like water 🌊 🌉 under a bridge after you have baby either... If they would ostracize and degrade her value imagine what they would do to a child who is the same complexion and of half decent as her mother + who has yet to develop "thick/tough skin" 💪🏾 his family will eat that child's confidence and self- esteem away!! Absolutely NOT ✋😬!! RUN AWAY GIRL!! 🏃🏾♀️💨👟 You do NOT need a spineless partner, ✋😬 who doesn't have the courage to go against his family in support of what right. Him and his family can do some soul searching 😇🙏🏾 and develop better characters as people, while you continue to prosper in this life. Amen! 👏🏾🫂🙏🏾😌 Lol 😂
She deserves a boy friend with a spine and a boyfriend who isnt afraid to support and love her. IMO this does not bode well for their relationship. He is willing to have her do all the heavy emotional lifting while he stands idly by letting it all happen? What the hell is that. It seems that having to deal with this family all on her own if she stays with this guy will eventually erode her soul. No man or woman is an island. There is better out there for her.
OMG! NOT the A-hole! That entire family is trying to pretend OP doesn't even exist, to the point of erasing photographic evidence of events that she attended. God forbid OP marries the BF and has to explain to her children why Mommy is absent from family pictures. I hope she got the hell out of that relationship ASAP. I love the colors in the jar!
I wish I knew OP so I could let her know that her boyfriend is just as bad as his racist family members. He refuses to stand up for you so what would he do for your children?? If he thinks you don't deserve to be protected, that's a form of dehumanizing language and thought. If he believes you should apologize, he clearly sees no wrong with what they do and he doesn't disagree. This is an instance of racism where they think "I can't be racist, I'm with you, aren't I?" Or "I have [insert race] friends!" This is a "you're not like the others of your kind" racism which, arguably, is the worst kind. Drop him love.
Naw dawg, she ain't petty. She did the right thing. I have a rule in life. Act like everything I do is written down in a book for anyone and everyone to read. Don't do shit you're gonna be unhappy with people finding out.
It’s not ruining the honeymoon/ wedding it’s just a message and she blew it out of proportion. So she technically ruined it herself by continuing going on about it.
if they get married, the boyfriend probably has to choose between her and his family. and BET he wouldn't be able to go against his family. op should leave if he doesn't show any promise
Dude I don't think she's being petty at all, and the boyfriend should 100% be standing up for her after all these aren't strangers they are his family which she might become one day. If my parents commented negatively on my partner's race we aren't ever going to visit and they would be cut out.
Tired of hearing black and brown girls need to be strong and independent in these situations. We shouldn’t have to be belittled and disrespected and be told we are strong so we shouldn’t react. We are people still? Why should we be silent when others do things like that to us? She shouldn’t expect much from her bf. Sure that’s family but if he was more content with just staying in the middle rather than defending her and calling out his family regardless how their relationship would turn out if he was serious about OP he would of. 🤷🏾♀️ he’s not with it to me tbh
You're not petty you have to stand your ground that's not fair often people of color have been forced to feel uncomfortable to make non melanated people call comfortable. Especially if you're gonna have children with this man and enter a family with this man you want your children to be accepted.
This case I got to say is messed up. Frankly speaking I don't know why she didn't dump his ass. But ugh I have to say that her comment on the microaggressions made me roll my eyes HARD. The idea of microaggressions is downright stupid and definately makes me think she's not so 'strong' of a girl as she thinks she is, and is one of those black girls who has to nitpick into EVERYTHING to twist it into a race thing simply so she can play the race card. And even in this case, shes a GIRLFRIEND not a fiance or a wife and for that alone I'm less annoyed by her being photoshopped out of both events, more so by how the bride tried to justify it.
You do realize though that this girl wants you out of the family because of your race and by bringing this fight up in the way you're going about it it's probably going to make it impossible for you to continue your relationship with your boyfriend now so in a backhanded kind of way you're giving her what she wanted. However I was a damn dirty thing for her to say to the photographer and then supposed to you know that might not even have been an accident that it went to you I would just take all these bad memories make yourself a pretty resin jar and put them in it and leave it alone
OK so this is coming from some who has delt with racist ppl in my own family. One SIL had no right to do what she did. She f*cked up her own honeymoon by being a bigit OK. Secondly I know his your bf but what happens if yall have kids. If he can't stand up for you especially when your not there to stand up for your self. What makes you think he will stand up for them babies. I have burned bridges with some of my own family members over friends. So you may want to talk to him if you want to make it work. He really needs to man up or let you go.
First of all, NTA people shouldn’t do that period. Secondly DUMP HIS ASS! “You’re a strong woman so you can handle it” clearly her family isn’t going to listen to her so no matter how strong she may be every single person needs help
Um...NTA and she needs to leave that relationship. She won't feel secure in that relationship, especially if they have kids (who'll most likely favor her and her skintone). And for what it's worth, it's not fair for the bf to stop talking to his family. Plus, he already doesn't see it as a big deal anyway so he's TA. This isn't worth the trouble for the op.
NTA. Girl you need to bounce. If he's not willing to defend you or to check his family, he is condoning their behavior and probably agrees. You say he's not racist, but he's not acting like an ally either. If you Teo have kidd then what? His family will not accept your child. Either get him to change and fight for you or leave.b
I think girl needs a new group of friends obviously they weren’t real friends then if that’s the way they treat her I would never ever I don’t care what the circumstances crop anyone out of photos at my wedding but idk to me I really don’t care how dark or light you are if your my friend your my friend period ruin all the color pallets for all I care 😂 to me idk weddings and shit like that are important but your friendships and family relationships are more important then the wedding
That's not petty at all. His family's racist, and if he's not willing to support you, then you should leave. What kind of family photoshops someone out of a picture because of their skin color??
I don't think your petty. You need a family that loves you as you are. You need a husband to respect you & your heritage. You need a husband & family who will love and protect your children if you have any. You Sadly don't need this man or his family ruining your life and hindering your happiness.
He is gaslighting her so hard with the ‘strong independent woman’ thing, Jesus Christ. He will say anything to stay with her but will not follow through, I know the kind. She needs to get out while she has a chance.
This bothers me completely. Every part of this is wrong. A: he didn't have her back when he knew of the pre-existing race schism. B: he attempted to manipulate and gaslight her into getting over it. Because he secretly is OK with it. It's the status quo for him. C: sister-in-law openly wanted her Help when it suited her, but then immediately turned stab her in the back by asking her friend to edit her out of the photos. To me, this whole family as toxic as hell, and she shouldn't get involved with them let alone and have children with anyone raised by them because her kids will be treated the same way. She could do so much better than him. Also, it wouldn't of embarrassed her if she didn't absolutely know what she was doing was wrong. And how the hell does it ruin a honeymoon? I turned off social media during mine and uploaded photos after that. Because it was for important to be in the moment and bonding with my mate then entertaining others, and looking for her self gratification. It's her own fault for wanting to be "connected" 24/7.
“Remove the dark girl from the pics with Meeeee in them.” 😑how bout no? “Strong independent woman”? How about strong kind human?! Bye racists, have fun being alone.
the whole “strong independent woman who doesn’t let petty things upset her” thing is a guilt trip and a gaslight. the idea that women of color are just “so strong and independent” and “dont get bothered by petty people” is a way to convince them that they shouldn’t feel upset when someone is being actively hurtful and racist and to excuse not ever stepping in to help or support because “you got this you independent queen”. that whole thing is why my mom has trouble asking for help and relying on people now.
Also, it kinda assumes that because many people are so ‘used’ to the discrimination they face, it’s ok and won’t bother them.
Well said💯
People who guilt trip and or gaslight either don’t even know they’re being manipulative bc they’ve been raised like that themselves( *They know that being manipulative works, bc it’s worked on them from their own freaking family, so now they just do it subconsciously[this doesn’t really make the action better]* )or they know exactly what they’re doing. The scary part is, it can be really hard to figure out their intentions.
I agree
No actually it's not bc I am a white female that is strong and independent I ask for help if I need it and I don't let petty cunts bother me bc they are just uncultured swine yes it still hurts to be called racist things but it's just words it's not manipulative or gaslighting it's true unfiltered blunt harsh truth all women strong or weak independent or dependent all need to be supported and stood up for
@@vipervenom7804 things that are progressive for a white woman wont always be supportive for a woman of another race. fo example black woman having long hair is a lot more progressive for us while white women being free to have short hair. please do not dismiss my experience simply because you had a different one as a woman of another race. we have different stereotypes associated with us and that is something important to acknowledge.
IMO the issue with the SIL is secondary. So this “kind” bf has been well aware of the racism against OP for quite some time and has done nothing? Yeah that’s a firm NO from me on that one if he won’t, yeah, won’t not can’t, support OP then sounds like some soul searching needs to happen. I’m not saying he should fight battles for her but to be completely passive against it is disgusting. Sounds like a toxic situation to me.
What does imo mean
@@xxangeljessicaxx6392 in My Opinion
I completely agree!!! The BF is supposed to stand up for her!!! I'd be breaking up with him over this!
I honestly think OP should dump him. Ik that I shouldn’t judge their whole (what seemed to be stable) relationship on one thing, but if he’s surrounded by these kinds of people, there is probably some internalized racism
I see where your coming from but he probably doesnt think like that since he did start dating OP. Thats also his family it would be pretty hard for him to stop involiving himself especially if he has a good relationship with them.
@@Undeadkitty3798 but he’s know for a while that they cropped her out and then hid it from her
@@jackyounger9479 I understand that and that was wrong i agree. However maybe he didnt tell her for that exact reason like maybe he knew how upset she would be. Im not excusing his behaviour but being in a family who has those views while you dont can be tricky
I was thinking the same exact thing!!!
@@Undeadkitty3798 that's not the only issue. The main issue is him basically telling her to kowtow instead of standing up for herself in the face of an injustice. It's a silent admission that she is less than in his and his family's eyes and she should be okay with it. It's the othering "you're strong and independent" view of her that allows dehumanizing and harmful acts over and over again. This is way deeper than a picture. If he actually loves her, he needs to reevaluate his ideals and mindset and basically deprogram the mindset he was raised with.
The sister in law deserved it and OP shouldnt have to apologize. Good on her for calling out racist. I do feel bad for the bf though thats a difficult thing to think about especially if hes close to his family
Family. That is A racist family. Is as for one to do it. The rest should know better and correct it,but nope. "Just let it be" "Let it go" "They'll change". NO! He is an enabler doormat & is like A carrier to A virus. He is worse than her. He lets the b.s. continue.
I don’t think so, it’s rude and I mean rude to crop someone out of a photo just because they have a darker skin tone than everyone else, plus if the parents wanted her out to why didn’t they just make the 2 break up? Also the sister in law is so entitled for thinking that it’s ok to talk behind someone’s back. I like the sister in laws friends for telling her, but why didn’t they tell her sooner?
Leave him, if he wasn’t willing to stand up for you back then, what makes you think he did now and will do in the future? Let as many people know about the ignorance and racism and leave that situation completely. I would have said the only thing different you could have done was go straight to your boyfriend rather then social media about the racism but definitely not the AH. Racism is never acceptable
Nope, expose racism publicly. No one should be allowed to benefit from other races while harbouring hatred in their heart for them. Especially potential in laws.
@@prettyprincess8187 that is what I say but she’s clearly not in a relationship where he is actively involved in her welfare where racism is concerned and isn’t bothering to help in any way. Definitely expose the racism on social media
This is one of the prettiest jar I've ever seen! 🥰 So talented and patient.
This story...whoo chile! I think she should dump this guy. His family is racist and he's complicit. He's was completely gaslighting her by saying that racism is "petty." Even if he wasn't dating a woman of color he should call out the racist people in his life! Period. End of.
If she doesn't dump him then couple's therapy for them and sensitivity classes for him are necessary.
Omg TYSM bestie ❤️ you made my day!!!! I completely agree btw!!! I would be more made at that BF than the sister... 💯😳🙄
@@ResinateByChanel Girl! Me and my boyfriend would've had to separate after what I would've said what I have said about his mother. LoL. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. His little heart would've cracked into pieces.
Not petty. You've shown me that you are strong. Its not an ultimatum its setting boundries coz its important yo know where you stand. Also thinking of what your future children may have to endure. Would you want them treated this way? Do you know if your man will stand up for them? Make sure they feel secure, loved, valued and wanted? I'm so sorry you were treated this way. Its disgusting. Yeah reposting it for all to see wasn't your best move but she posted it in a group chat not worrying about her repretation or about embarrassing you. She is getting the repercussions of her actions. The fact it wasn't a new thing and is known within the family is disgusting. For the record I'm white. Xxxxx Kia kaha xxxx
OP needs to break up with her boyfriend and his crazy family if they don’t see anything wrong with what SIL and his family did
its not giving an ultimatum, its setting a boundary that is very well needed.
I’m sorry she has to be sis in laws with someone like that. Never be sorry for the boundaries you set with the ones that will hurt you. It’s not petty it is self care.
NTA like bruh thats so racist- they purposely removed her from photos bc shes "too dark" and shes just supposed to ignore it? thats just so racist and I cant even- I hope her bf shapes up or they break up bc he isnt as kind as she says he is if hes aware of it but not stepping in bc shes a strong women, its good that you think shes strong but like that isnt an excuse to let people- especially family members of his to be racist
No you are totally not in the wrong. That is horrible what she did. Btw LOVE the cup it’s so pretty
🥰🥰🥰 TYSM bestie ❤️
No problem 🥰🥰🥰🥰
I wouldn't give him the option, I'd just dump his ass and keep it moving. I learned the hard way about racism. My father beat my ass for being home a blk man. I shouldn't mix the races he told me. An when I grew up I realized with therapy that I have the right to have whomever I want in my life an or around me. An keeping away from my family was the most rewarding experience I've ever done for myself. I choose my family, I choose my friend. I'm so mad for you right now. That's the most disheartening thing I've heard in a very long while an your a beautiful queen an you shouldn't have to ever feel like you don't ever belong. An what did she think would happen even if she didn't respond on that iphone group chat that your photographer friend wouldn't tell you what she said?.. YOU DESERVE RESPECT, KINDNESS, AN TO BE SUPPORTED BY THE MAN YOU CLAIM. I understand it's his family but I had to walk away from mine if I ever wanted to be happy an frankly he should've never kept that from you if your to ever trust an respect him. That's just shameful behavior if I ever heard. You're beautiful, Blessings on Blessings on Blessings. Know your WORTH 💚🍀🐸
Wow, that boyfriend is a Catch. Not petty at all. She's strong, independent and don't take shit, a little too kind, if anything. She is right in every way. And boyfriend needs to get up his shit or get out of the picture (ba dum tss).
A passive enabler is no better than the abuser themself. I could've maybe understood if he had fought on it, but hadn't brought it up with OP because he didn't want to bring her extra grief, but just standing there and doing nothing when someone is being full on racist, excluding and bullying his girlfriend is not good and frankly something I would break up over.
Her first reaction should have been to leave and break up with him. She’s letting him get away with a lot.
2:50 how did it line up so perfect 😳
I got lucky 😂
Honey the ultimátum isnt necessary, just leave his ass
Fr fr 🙄 he already showed his true colors!!
Absolutely love this one!! 😍😍
Honestly op did the right decision when it came to her bf. She was calm and understanding but also stood her ground. And she also made a pretty decent deal. But this problem WILL come up again in the future and personally it's better to break things off. Maybe keep in touch as friends. But this relationship will not work out.
Nah I'm sorry if someone wanted to do that to me I'd air it immediately.
Also the jar came out super pretty!!!
TYSM 😌
@@ResinateByChanel Is learning resin art easy
@@nerdgeekcosplay909 not easy but it's not too hard either! It just takes practice and patience! And it can get pretty expensive! Also be careful with resin because some can be toxic so make sure you work in a well ventilated area!!!
My mother-in-law was purposely cutting me out of photos. My husband's a professional photographer. I started showing him what was happening. Every single photo, he would cut his sister's heads off his mother's head off his father's body every single person in the photo was cut off except for me I was in full center. When she finally brought up hey you're cutting our heads off what are you doing. He said I'll quit cutting your heads off whenever you allow my wife to stay in photos. They stopped cutting me out of photos.
Your husband is an actual nice guy, not the fake "nice guy" the OP thinks her partner is.
Wait your not leaving? Dude leave. this guy isn’t worth it.
Ikr 💯
I say he is either with me fully or out the door! No BUTS.
I want an update. Wat happened after tat
If he’s not standing in support of you now against his family racism…. He won’t in the future against anyone. You deserve better and you are NOT being petty
I completely agree 💯🤦🏽♀️
NTA, if your so scared of things like that them don't say those things, and it's obvious your boyfriend DOES NOT care. Because if he did he would've defended you
I absolutely luv ur work with the resin art 2 u sell those if so how could I go bout buying some of them
Leave him!
What worries me is that if they have kids how would the kids be treated? If the boyfriend is not willing to say or do anything now then it will be too late and worse when they have kids. Would the kids be treated like the family's secret? Would the family hide away any pictures of the kids? Either the family needs to be told they need to confront the racism, the boyfriend cuts off from the family, or they should split.
This ultimatum isn't petty. OP thought about everything with a pretty pragmatic point of view. Also, the color for this jar was great.
Being hurt that your boyfriend let's people treat you that way is anything but petty. You are not petty you are a human being with feelings and ultimatums are important things to have in life.
op needs to run from that whole situation first tell everyone off and make a mess outing their racism and then run
First off the whole family of the bf is just unbearable and it's good that she realised it not so late. The SIL, uncle are being racist and also his mom.
Bf giving dumb excuses like you r a strong woman that don't let these petty things bother u is just stupid.
They'll seem toxic af
(The jar is soooo beautiful and wow the colour combination is just amazing they blended so well ✨🤌)
Being strong doesn't mean you don't need/deserve the support of your significant other. Also, the SIL doesn't deserve an apology when she's the one that's wrong. If anything, the SIL should be apologizing.
Wow.. I wonder if they broke up. If they stay together and have children, he will have difficulty supporting them especially if his family favors other grandkids over them. Hiding is not protecting.
Well, without all the details, I can think of one very valid reason for his family not to want her in any of the family pictures, they're not married, not even engaged. maybe the couple isn't as stable as SHE thinks and the family see an end to the relationship coming?
One op you are gorgeous and two nta they are really toxic I would rethink this just in case
He is passive to his families behavior against her and complainant 😑; willing to please others and weave around conflict ✋😒 than to be her support standing beside her against his families clear racism against her. No sweet heart, she is absolutely right, these situations do NOT just dissolve like water 🌊 🌉 under a bridge after you have baby either... If they would ostracize and degrade her value imagine what they would do to a child who is the same complexion and of half decent as her mother + who has yet to develop "thick/tough skin" 💪🏾 his family will eat that child's confidence and self- esteem away!! Absolutely NOT ✋😬!! RUN AWAY GIRL!! 🏃🏾♀️💨👟
You do NOT need a spineless partner, ✋😬 who doesn't have the courage to go against his family in support of what right. Him and his family can do some soul searching 😇🙏🏾 and develop better characters as people, while you continue to prosper in this life. Amen! 👏🏾🫂🙏🏾😌 Lol 😂
Do u have a lotus flower w a lid ?
NTA. The OP doesn't need to apologise for anything. It's disgusting to be treated like that. It's not fair, and she shouldn't need to put up with it.
She deserves a boy friend with a spine and a boyfriend who isnt afraid to support and love her. IMO this does not bode well for their relationship. He is willing to have her do all the heavy emotional lifting while he stands idly by letting it all happen? What the hell is that. It seems that having to deal with this family all on her own if she stays with this guy will eventually erode her soul. No man or woman is an island. There is better out there for her.
NTA blatant racism isn’t a “petty” thing and she’s not being petty at all for standing up to bigotry
OMG! NOT the A-hole! That entire family is trying to pretend OP doesn't even exist, to the point of erasing photographic evidence of events that she attended. God forbid OP marries the BF and has to explain to her children why Mommy is absent from family pictures. I hope she got the hell out of that relationship ASAP. I love the colors in the jar!
NTA also what does OP mean?
Original poster, I think
I wish I knew OP so I could let her know that her boyfriend is just as bad as his racist family members. He refuses to stand up for you so what would he do for your children?? If he thinks you don't deserve to be protected, that's a form of dehumanizing language and thought. If he believes you should apologize, he clearly sees no wrong with what they do and he doesn't disagree. This is an instance of racism where they think "I can't be racist, I'm with you, aren't I?" Or "I have [insert race] friends!" This is a "you're not like the others of your kind" racism which, arguably, is the worst kind. Drop him love.
Naw dawg, she ain't petty. She did the right thing. I have a rule in life. Act like everything I do is written down in a book for anyone and everyone to read. Don't do shit you're gonna be unhappy with people finding out.
I hope she leaves him. If he's not going to take care of her then he doesn't deserve her. Vote: Not The A-Hole.
It’s not ruining the honeymoon/ wedding it’s just a message and she blew it out of proportion. So she technically ruined it herself by continuing going on about it.
Girl...all I have to say is leave...
if they get married, the boyfriend probably has to choose between her and his family. and BET he wouldn't be able to go against his family. op should leave if he doesn't show any promise
Dude I don't think she's being petty at all, and the boyfriend should 100% be standing up for her after all these aren't strangers they are his family which she might become one day. If my parents commented negatively on my partner's race we aren't ever going to visit and they would be cut out.
Tired of hearing black and brown girls need to be strong and independent in these situations. We shouldn’t have to be belittled and disrespected and be told we are strong so we shouldn’t react. We are people still? Why should we be silent when others do things like that to us? She shouldn’t expect much from her bf. Sure that’s family but if he was more content with just staying in the middle rather than defending her and calling out his family regardless how their relationship would turn out if he was serious about OP he would of. 🤷🏾♀️ he’s not with it to me tbh
Does she sell her stuff
Yup on Etsy resinatebychanel.etsy.com 🥰❤️
Tell friend to delete pictures and leave it up. Leave the bf because he has known and isn’t doing anything about it
Girl! Make like Elsa and let these people go!
NTA. Wanna avoid being embarrassed by a racist comment you made? There's an easy fix, DON'T BE RACIST.
Leave the boyfriend alone. He won't defend you.
You're not petty you have to stand your ground that's not fair often people of color have been forced to feel uncomfortable to make non melanated people call comfortable. Especially if you're gonna have children with this man and enter a family with this man you want your children to be accepted.
This case I got to say is messed up. Frankly speaking I don't know why she didn't dump his ass. But ugh I have to say that her comment on the microaggressions made me roll my eyes HARD. The idea of microaggressions is downright stupid and definately makes me think she's not so 'strong' of a girl as she thinks she is, and is one of those black girls who has to nitpick into EVERYTHING to twist it into a race thing simply so she can play the race card. And even in this case, shes a GIRLFRIEND not a fiance or a wife and for that alone I'm less annoyed by her being photoshopped out of both events, more so by how the bride tried to justify it.
you're right to complain today it's you but tomorrow it could be your children or worse if you get married imagine the ceremony
You do realize though that this girl wants you out of the family because of your race and by bringing this fight up in the way you're going about it it's probably going to make it impossible for you to continue your relationship with your boyfriend now so in a backhanded kind of way you're giving her what she wanted. However I was a damn dirty thing for her to say to the photographer and then supposed to you know that might not even have been an accident that it went to you I would just take all these bad memories make yourself a pretty resin jar and put them in it and leave it alone
Not the ah in my opinion, bc she literally called her too dark and messing up the color pallets
You are not in the wrong at all.
OK so this is coming from some who has delt with racist ppl in my own family. One SIL had no right to do what she did. She f*cked up her own honeymoon by being a bigit OK. Secondly I know his your bf but what happens if yall have kids. If he can't stand up for you especially when your not there to stand up for your self. What makes you think he will stand up for them babies. I have burned bridges with some of my own family members over friends. So you may want to talk to him if you want to make it work. He really needs to man up or let you go.
Nope I don't know think so
Me either 🤷🏽♀️
But every strong women need a strong man on her side.
First of all, NTA people shouldn’t do that period. Secondly DUMP HIS ASS! “You’re a strong woman so you can handle it” clearly her family isn’t going to listen to her so no matter how strong she may be every single person needs help
What is she making?
A Jar
Man, why do these never show the damn season and episode numbers or at least the damn episode title 🤦🏻♀️🙄smh
Yeah, OP was in the right. And her boyfriend is complicit in his families racism because he refuses to say anything.
not one bit ^_^
Um...NTA and she needs to leave that relationship. She won't feel secure in that relationship, especially if they have kids (who'll most likely favor her and her skintone). And for what it's worth, it's not fair for the bf to stop talking to his family. Plus, he already doesn't see it as a big deal anyway so he's TA. This isn't worth the trouble for the op.
NTA. Girl you need to bounce. If he's not willing to defend you or to check his family, he is condoning their behavior and probably agrees. You say he's not racist, but he's not acting like an ally either. If you Teo have kidd then what? His family will not accept your child. Either get him to change and fight for you or leave.b
Yes not in your house!!!
💯
OMG!!!!
I think girl needs a new group of friends obviously they weren’t real friends then if that’s the way they treat her I would never ever I don’t care what the circumstances crop anyone out of photos at my wedding but idk to me I really don’t care how dark or light you are if your my friend your my friend period ruin all the color pallets for all I care 😂 to me idk weddings and shit like that are important but your friendships and family relationships are more important then the wedding
That just your consequence for being racist honestly just block her
Edit: Also “being a strong independent woman” means standing up for yourself. Right?
That's not petty at all. His family's racist, and if he's not willing to support you, then you should leave. What kind of family photoshops someone out of a picture because of their skin color??
The bf racist too
I don't think your petty. You need a family that loves you as you are. You need a husband to respect you & your heritage. You need a husband & family who will love and protect your children if you have any. You Sadly don't need this man or his family ruining your life and hindering your happiness.
He is gaslighting her so hard with the ‘strong independent woman’ thing, Jesus Christ. He will say anything to stay with her but will not follow through, I know the kind. She needs to get out while she has a chance.
This bothers me completely. Every part of this is wrong.
A: he didn't have her back when he knew of the pre-existing race schism.
B: he attempted to manipulate and gaslight her into getting over it. Because he secretly is OK with it. It's the status quo for him.
C: sister-in-law openly wanted her Help when it suited her, but then immediately turned stab her in the back by asking her friend to edit her out of the photos.
To me, this whole family as toxic as hell, and she shouldn't get involved with them let alone and have children with anyone raised by them because her kids will be treated the same way. She could do so much better than him.
Also, it wouldn't of embarrassed her if she didn't absolutely know what she was doing was wrong.
And how the hell does it ruin a honeymoon? I turned off social media during mine and uploaded photos after that. Because it was for important to be in the moment and bonding with my mate then entertaining others, and looking for her self gratification. It's her own fault for wanting to be "connected" 24/7.
PЯӨMӨƧM
That "strong woman" bs for the birds. Her man is weak. Girl gi find happiness.
“Remove the dark girl from the pics with Meeeee in them.” 😑how bout no?
“Strong independent woman”? How about strong kind human?! Bye racists, have fun being alone.
You're not TA... the SIL bf mom are all wrong. Leave him
First
What's up tho 😜
Second
Hey boo 😄💗