I've always wondered why I didn't see people stop and explore things. Smells, patterns, the way the light hits the ground, the way the flower is blooming, the smell of that patch of honeysuckle that's so amazing. I always feel kind of weird, and get some looks. People just walk by as if the beauty didn't exist. Thank you for explaining that they don't get it the same way we do. I suspected that, I try to make my art express that feeling, but I can get nowhere close.
I resonate with you. It's worse when you feel like you're slowing down the group you're traveling with bc you stopped to appreciate something. Everyone's just in go, go, go mode from one place/task to the next, rarely taking in the journey bc they "don't have time". They never have time. When I'm in that mental space, I like the feeling as if time doesn't exist. People should experience that more, it's lovely.
The one idiom I do get is 'stop and smell the roses'. Although I understand now that it refers to slowing down and appreciating life. When I was younger I wouldn't have understood this.
@@nannywhumpers5702Beautiful aren't they! My husband and I often look up at the sky and cloud formations this time of year and say "it's a Rupert day" referring to Rupert the bear and the comic drawings. They were often depicted as cloudy, sunny summer days. 😊
OMG! It's as if you are my mind describing me to someone! My shrink says I can't be autistic because I have too much empathy and my humor is too sharp! Yet Every single point was spot-on including the vague physical symptoms. I am so grateful for videos like this explaining autism in everyday terms. I'm 70 and finally finding a place where I fit in!
Oh my god, I wish people didn't always talk about stuff they don't know enough about, especially medical professionals! A shrink told my partner she couldn't possibly be autistic because she has a degree in German studies...I'm so glad there are other, more reliable sources of information.
I’m so happy you like my videos! I have another video where I debunk 7 myths about autism and one of them is that autistics can’t show empathy. That’s absolutely ridiculous and there’s an abundance of evidence that shows we absolutely can and do! There are many of us who share similar experiences, symptoms, and feelings. You are definitely not alone!! But you do need to find a new therapist!!
@@ChrisandDebby I guess this was in response to my comment :) Luckily she didn't come in contact with this therapist as part of an ongoing therapy. She has someone much better for that who is very supportive of her seeking assessment for autism. But this guy made her feel like an imposter for no good reason.
Autistics are actually know for having TOO MUCH empathy at times, it's just different how it's processed or shown. Think of Mr. Darcy in Jane Austin's novel Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy feels the needs to right the situation with Mr. Wickham thru actions and correcting what he could as he felt incredibly responsible for not acting and empathy for the trouble this caused others. Mr. Darcy is thought to be autistic. It's a good google. Also, I wanted to add, you might not need a new therapist, but if they aren't open to understanding what autism actually is, then maybe you do. I just wanted to add that option because some people are well meaning but ignorant and we can offer the opportunity for growth if we want to and want to keep the relationship. But I have a sharp whit and deep empathy, and all the traits of Level 1 autism, so incorrect on their part.
Diagnosed at 52 after years of anxiety, meltdowns in embarrassing situations like in busy shopping malls (that I used to call my "wobblies"), recurrent depression, therapy, being told I'm "weird" all my life, preferring solitude and my safe space. By the time my psychiatrist diagnosed me she said it was so obvious to her that I am autistic that she was shocked that none of my previous therapists had picked up on it. That day felt like my birthday! Now I understand my "quirks" and how to minimise the things that disrupt my peace. I am finally free to be myself! 😍
I'm 54 and was just assessed last week. I'll find out the results in a couple days but I'll be more than a little surprised if I'm not autistic. Your background sounds similar to mine and I'm glad to be finally learning _why_ I've had these struggles my whole life. I actually had a therapist tell me I *definitely* was not autistic. That made me ignore my suspicion for a while but I've since left that therapist (which was challenging in itself, for me). I feel like there's a lot for me to learn but I'm finally hopeful that, now that I know what's behind it all, I can work on strategies to cope with my challenges.
I drove a taxi for ten years. When people would get in and say "been busy?" I would eventually go completely silent because I just couldn't handle being asked that stupid question, and I knew they didn't care for my answer because how could they? They didn't know me! Sometimes, I would reply "if you'd like to have a conversation, I'll talk about anything except this. The more outrageous the better." Or I'd say "tell me what's really on your mind, then we can have an interesting conversation." Or I would go full honest and say "I'm sorry, I have been asked that question so many times I don't know how to reply to it any more. What would you really like to talk about?" About a third of people would be completely offended and go silent, which I loved. And it really doesn't matter to me whether some stranger likes me or not. Another third would battle me over my attitude, and we'd end up usually with a good conversation, after I had apologized for my bluntness. A further third would go with that and change the topic showing slight annoyance, but we'd usually end up with a good conversation. I think because I'm real, it unlocks the potential in others to be real with me, and actually most people find that supremely liberating.
I get into Lyfts and force out a "How are you?" even when I don't want to. The last 4 drivers nodded and didn't answer, and were quiet all the way to my destination. It was comfortable and relaxing for both of us, since neither of us needed to talk.🙂
Also, I don't think I'd be able to muster up "Been busy?" It feels so unnatural and awkward to me. Maybe the driver has been, maybe they haven't been. Either way, they are doing their job getting me to where I am going!😂 If I am in a somewhat talkative mood, I will make observations about things and start a conversation based on that. I won't say I like their car if I don't, so if I say it, I really mean it. They may give a quick "Thank you". Then I will just go on about the things that I like about it, right down to the size of the cupholder😅. If they start to seem uninterested in the first topic, and I genuinely am interested in another thing, I'll start talking about that. I may get a good vibe from the person and ask how long they have been driving, not necessarily because I'm too interested in that, but because it can lead to a good conversation. It has many times. Most of the time, I will probably say "Hi", and be quiet for the rest of the ride.🙂
I am undiagnosed but my wife and I laughed tears in our eyes watching your videos, I am sure you and I have very similar autism because so many of your examples fit me and our life 100%. I feel like we have been really good at talking trough many of these issues already but watching your channel was amazing and strenghtened our understanding of each other even more. You are absolutely brilliant, thank you.
I have adhd. Came here to see what it's like on this end of the spectrum. There are correlations and this was fascinating. I find that my adhd and people with autism get along really well! I enjoy being around autistic people as the stimulation level is super soothing and also we have our fascinations. Humor seems to be similar in some ways too.
A lot of us like or insist on routine no matter how inconsequential it is, for example, how you sit/get up from a chair, sitting in the same place on the couch or only eating one specific meal from your favorite restaurant. I also have a habit of getting really attached to a certain song and will listen to that one song for hours and hours each day if I could. Recently I’ve been attached to AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ because that guitar riff is epic!
You are spot on with this!! I have to adhere to a lot of routines or things don’t work out well. And Thunderstruck is a good one to listen to on repeat for… a year. Thanks for sharing!!
@@ChrisandDebby agreed, because if I’m not on routine I legitimately have meltdowns or I get upset if there is an unexpected change in my routine. It’s not just the change of routine but also the risk of sensory overload occurring. I enjoy your videos as you and your wife, Debby have given me some great insight on autism and great advice too. I already know I have it but I’ve begun to recognize it in my friend. Anyway thanks for sharing your experiences and story, it was very intriguing and inspiring! Oh and I saw the Nee Doh toy and was so mesmerized that I bought one and you’re right about it. I can’t put the thing down haha!
Wow. This is the first time I’ve heard someone say the song thing. I’m the same way. I will listen to a song on repeat for HOURS! This whole video really hit home
My whole life feels like a routine. I do the exact same thing everyday to feel safe. If something disrupts my routines then I become angry and try get that one thing done that surprised me as quickly as I can. I never look strangers and some family members in the eyes, I only stare at the people I can trust. Eye contact can be so overwhelming so I never do it and just force my self occasionally to look at people so they know I'm trying. I don't like conversations and try end them early on if I get into one. I get obsessed with hobbies and they change and come back every so often. I stay up late because its it nice and quiet. I like having my home clean and have everything in the right place. Have same breakfast every morning. When I want to tell someone something I get so excited because I find it interesting or funny. I keep the same group of friends and would never want to get new friends on my online Xbox. I love cleaning and tidying because I know exactly what the end result will be. If I'm into my hobbies then I don't want to do anything else not even cleaning. I get stuck in my routines and sometimes i wanna change something that I'm scared about but people think I'm being silly and don't help and instead say to me that I'm fine even though I hate that pacific thing so much and it makes me panic
Adding the explanation that an autist might think about their special interest from the time they wake up, while they are eating, while they are showering, last thing they think about before they go to bed, etc... 👩🏼🍳👄chefs kiss. I don't know that I've heard anybody else include that facet of it in such a poignant way, and it is absolutely the truth. Well done.
I must say, it’s so refreshing not dealing with the annoying background noise and the bad visuals and sound quality of most TH-cam videos. You did so well. Thanks for your channel.
Can I add that "everything that I don't find interesting is small talk"? Or "anything talked about generally without sufficient details is small talk"? Lol
It's just something you have to go through before you get to more interesting topics. You can't introduce yourself to someone like "Nice you meet you, John. So what do you want about communism?".
Thank you for not having music playing in the background of your video! I believe that I am probably on the spectrum and music playing in the background of a TH-cam video is the aural equivalent of having someone jumping around behind a person speaking. I matched on all 5+1 signs. 🙂
"Reflexive sneezing induced by light, and sunlight in particular, is estimated to occur in 18 to 35 percent of the population and is known as the photic sneeze reflex (PSR) or the ACHOO (autosomal dominant compulsive helio-ophthalmic outbursts of sneezing) syndrome." From Scientific America I have the sneezing too in especially morning sunlight. It took 60 odd years to realize I'm Autistic. I super focused on CAD/CAM, self taught. All the owners where I worked loved me. The coworkers not so much. I have trouble with people. Dogs, cats and children are my best friends. I am married, my wife called me Doc Martin at times. I didn't get it, he is a character on a series we watch who has either Aspergers or ASD. I wish I knew why smells, sounds and light can be overwhelming and sometimes beautiful. I have a super nose and taste buds. Thank you for your video. I'm am having much anxiety after watching due to your talking about the front door, phone and unexpected things.
I also sneeze when I walk out into bright sunlight! I knew it was something other people experienced too, but this video is the first time I’ve heard it about it possibly being related to autism.
I'm 49, and I remember when I was about 6 years old, my parents threw me a birthday party at our home. there were a total of about 20 to 30 people there, all crammed into our tiny row home house. after about an hour of party time, I realized that I had reached my limit - I could not handle all of those people any longer. without saying anything to anyone, I just sat at the top of our steps on the second floor and cried. this eventually manifested into what I eventually perceived as a severe social anxiety amongst large groups of people.
I may be an undiagnosed adult with autism: the more anecdotal pieces I hear from you and other channels, the more I think I may be on the spectrum. I'm a teacher, and earlier this school year, there was a musical presentation being given in our gymnasium. The music got waaaay turned up, to the point where I could feel the beat in my chest, and it absolutely had a very adverse reaction in me and made me overly anxious and angry. I had to leave the building to get away from it and calm down (and I could still hear it outside!).
Same! One problem with figuring it out is that if I am on the spectrum, I've been masking for 50 years so some things are deeply hidden. Still, I confidently tick five of these, and give at least a half mark to the sensory one because I totally react to sound that way.
I was diagnosed at the age of 3 and now I'm 22. I still try to be like everyone else and I feel bad when I don't accomplish things. I was a slow leaner and that be because I might have some adhd to where I can't pay attention or when I was in school I didn't understand why it was important to learn. Every autistic person is so different. I don't have problems with loud music and if it's my favourite song I would blast it, I do hate when I'm talking to someone in my household then I hear my 5 year old brother talking in the background as I feel the person that I'm talking to can't hear me. I just hate noises I don't wanna hear. I'm probably not good at filtering out other loud noises. I also rant on youtube comments and feel I have to explain myself and say everything that comes up in my head. I do the same thing everyday and if something disrupts that then I feel I'm not in my safe space anymore and I feel angry about it. Having a clean home is something I enjoy as it feels right. Thank you for being a teacher!
Much like the way ADA regulations have made life easier for everyone, I believe that someday we will have codified guidelines for light, sound, and smells that are intended to address the sensitivities of neurodivergent people, and additionally happen to make everyone healthier. As a minor example on the ADA side: doors with automated switches for people in wheelchairs are also really great for an able-bodied person who is carrying a bunch of groceries, or who has a shoulder problem that isn't to the level of a formal disability. Analogously: regulating blue-spectrum and too-bright lights could reduce cancer rates (there's some decent research linking cancer to nighttime light exposure). Limiting decibel levels more strictly is going to be better for everyone's hearing and stress levels. And regulating smells will likely lead to fewer indoor air pollutants, e.g. running filters that remove mold particles vs. using scented air fresheners. In the meantime, you can get a free decibel meter app on your phone. It's easy to look up safe exposure levels, and if you can prove to the person in charge that the decibel reading is higher than what's considered safe exposure in a workplace, they pretty much have to turn it down (or risk a lawsuit, at least in the U.S.) ...It's okay to be "that person" and there's no way that music level was good for the kids, either!
Some of the most viscerally gutting experiences I've had were surprise parties, I mean for me. And I felt horribly guilty about feeling so horrible about the love and kindness my friends were demonstrating by throwing me a surprise party. I mean, what an ingrate I am, right--what's wrong with me? Which only makes it worse, because you're feeling existentially gutted by this psycho-sensorily shattering assault PLUS you're plagued by the sense of being pathological for hating this kindness so much. My ASD discovery last year clicked this plaguing perplexity, along with countless others, right into place. I don't feel so bad about feeling bad about it anymore. It's okay now, and I have more prerogative in life. Like, "Know what, dear friends and family? NEVER a surprise party for me, okay? It tortures me, so the most loving thing to do for me is...NOT, and I will love you forever for it."
It's an awful feeling to know you're being misread by others, and that you don't even understand your reactions. We hate the labels slapped on our backs, but ironically, it's the ASD/ADHD labels that create genuine talking points between 'us and them'. We have a legit explanation for our ways, quirks, behaviors--they're not just bad attitudes. I resisted labels but finally told my therapist, "I need a label." Not because I, Debbie, need it, but so it can become a bridge for those who have no clue what the world is like inside my head. I refuse to lean into the label, but it's there if I need a get-out-of-jail-free card. Ken, your knowledge of your ASD not only gives you much-needed relief, but you now have the information that explains the 'why' of the 'what'. Who knows if others will understand or reject it? The one person who needed it most is you, and it sounds like it's been a life-changer for you.
Wow,thanks for sharing this about the surprise party, I was so hurt when my husband looked at me after a surprise birthday party for him and he reacted afterward with Don't ever do that again!!! Now I know why, at least I have an idea now!
@@teribartusek1125 as an introverted slightly autistic, we just don't do well with surprise parties. It feels like an attack on our right to choice to be there or not. If you wanna throw a party just ask and a month or 6 in advance
I love how there is no background music and you’re fidgeting the whole time like I do. All of these are true and I want to seek a diagnosis. Work is so exhausting because I mask and work with women who like small talk. My fiancé does say I talk about the same topic constantly and overly obsessed with Snoopy
Small talk usually shuts down when they ask how I am and I reply “alive”. No more small talk just the response of “me too”. People just don’t know how to respond and are pretty much talk less after that.
my favourite is when someone asks me "What's wrong?", I say "What isn't?" Maybe its rude, but I really don't care and don't want to talk about my problems. I'm just sick of pretending I'm ok, you know?
I just want to say this is the best video I have found describing my experience. I'm only a couple of months into my discovery, working toward an official diagnosis, and the signal to noise ratio in the autism content is very high. It's either treating each video like it's the first one and 50% is just the same opening, or they are worried about being misunderstood that they drill down pin all the details and tangents that the point is never addressed, or they are selling a book or course. This video is clearly laid out, each point is clear and concise, no extra information on the off chance it will clear up a potential confusion. Bravo
I just want to say this video IS AMAZING! Great structure and explanations! Okay now I will share some of my experiences. For 1. I hate unexpected visits or interactions. So one time one of my friends came over unexpectedly to give me a gift for my birthday. I felt bad that I went into fight or flight and shutdown until he left. Now for some other ones are when someone enters my room without nocking or doing that and coming in makes me upset and a little angry but I usually hide it and rush them out. Now sensory is weird for me as i feel like it changes everyday. Like today the toast had less taste and more texture which was upsetting and made me nauseous. Toast is usually a safe food for me. Then people clapping or yelling in a high pitched voice hurts and is really annoying when I’m trying to focus. Then other loud noises are overwhelming and trigger fight or flight sometimes. Fire alarms are both overwhelming painful and trigger my fight or flight. Now for eye contact. People that know me well would say I have good eye contact and it’s true about the people I know and trust but when it comes to strangers people I don’t trust it can be very uncomfortable and sometimes triggering fight or flight if I have to maintain it. Then facial expressions. I’m pretty good at them and don’t really worry about them with people I know but if I get anxiety it all goes away. Then this brings up my next thing. My anxiety changes my sensory processing. When ever I’m stressed or under anxiety my sensory issues become amplified. I can handle places like malls or grocery stores if I know what we or I are doing and what we will be doing the entire time. The more that is off the worse it becomes. So not finding an item will start to make it worse. But even if all goes well I will feel tiered even if I enjoyed it. I just need a little time alone in a safe space to just reset.
OK, I'm new to the idea that I may be autistic, and so far I've consistently "scored" over 50% on almost every trait list I've checked out. This list, though, had me saying things like "YES!", "Absolutely me!", and "WOW!" at every turn. I'm having a hard time writing this because I feel excited and petrified at the same time. Recently (2 and 3 days ago respectively)my bff and my only living sibling told me that they don't think I'm autistic. I know that they both are basing their ideas of autism on old info so I understand why they think like they do about it. Regardless, I also feel completely alone in this now. I'm just grateful to have found this page, and others like it, where I can continue my research. I'm not looking for an official diagnosis, just a deeper understanding of myself and tools to help me thrive as much as is possible. Thank you for listening and for being here in the first place! ❤
Hi Stacey! Thanks for watching the video and sharing your thoughts and feelings. It’s so common for us adults, especially late diagnosed, to feel isolated and misunderstood. When my wife first introduced the idea that I might be autistic, I resisted. In my mind, there was no way I could be autistic. It took two psychiatrists to diagnose me before I would allow myself to open my mind up. Sometimes, people don’t fully understand asd or they have outdated ideas and perspectives. What we can do is continue to learn about ourselves and autism. Everyone will have their opinions about whether you may be autistic or why you aren’t. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to discover. As lonely as this journey might feel to you now, you should know that there are many others just like you, navigating this same road of discovery. Many of us are going through a roller coaster of emotions as we start to uncover who we are and always have been! The important thing to know is you are never alone. There’s so many wonderful people out there willing to share their stories, listen to yours, and be supportive. If you ever need someone to reach out to, you are always welcome to email me and my wife Debby. Thanks for being here.
@@ChrisandDebby I really want to thank you, not only for your kind and inspiring words, but also your invite. I really am (possibly) late diagnosed... I'm 65 and this all came up in the past 2 or 3 months when both my mental health counselor and the gal that does my prescriptions mentioned it to me within a matter of days of each other. That is when I decided to start researching the possibility. Though there are traits that don't fit me (in my current understanding), there are others that fit like a glove (executive functioning in particular... a mind-blowing revelation for me), which is a fairly common thing I guess. I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person a few years back and that fits me well, but autism seems to be filling in some of the gaps in "why I am the way I am". So I will continue this journey and see where it leads. Again, I can't thank you enough for your response. I already feel less alone!
Oh, you're going through what I went through... It was about 2 solid weeks of non-stop research... And a FLOOD of memories from my all different ages over my 50 years like, "...OHHHHH, THAT'S what was going on...!!!” "THAT'S why I did that!!!" "That's me... " "That's me..." " That's me..."
@@ChrisandDebbyI just now read your reply... didn't even know you did. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, it really does mean the world to me!
I feel this so deeply. I was only just diagnosed this week at 49, and now so many things are making sense! It's overwhelming and it makes me have waves of relief or crying. I have always been so stressed when friends call or drop by, or invite someone else to a situation. I always stop and stare at flowers and the light hitting the wall a certain way. I get lost in ants on a leaf and wave at the moon in the sky. I always thought it was just because I was an artist. Also you mentioned that we can be OVER sensitive to facial expressions, and that is me all day. I'm sometimes hyper-aware of nuances and changes, whereas if I'm on one of my never ending rants about something I may sort of just blank out the faces of whoever the unfortunate listener may be. Sometimes I'll have a voice in the back of my head that is trying to tell me "You're doing it again. You're oversharing and talking to much" but the other part of my brain is just like "That's not going to stop us from telling them everything we know and think about everything we have ever thought to know" Anyway, this was a really great video for me, thank you. I apprecioate it so much.
as soon as you brought up the first sign and what you started to feel like when you walked into the restaurant to see your friend, I absolutely knew that at the end you were going to say that he had brought someone unannounced. I know exactly that feeling, and I think meeting someone new is an example of an extreme disruption to me, but that feeling also happens with more minor things on a daily basis.
Before watching this video, my wife had no idea how much this kind of thing bothered me. Now she’s replaying past meetups in her mind and feeling guilty. Of course it’s not her fault at all, but it is challenging when you have issues that disrupt your life and most people don’t understand why.
You have just described my life, down to the smallest detail.. I have always felt that I was different from the time I was a child.. I am not diagnosed. as a child I only had 1 playmate and she made movements with her hands in front of her body and she only ate rye bread with chocolate spread. I loved my playmate because we understood each other on a level that I have never experienced with anyone else. I had no friends at school and was only with my playmate or my cousins. One of my cousins always told me when we were kids that I was weird to watch movies with. when my dad fixed the toilet or something with a sewer, I panicked so much that I ended up lying on the floor screaming- I don't speak much even then as an adult, because I can't get the words out as I think them. I have taken some tests and they are all in the autism spectrum, so yes, maybe. Love to watch your videos
Listening to small talk makes me nauseous and dizzy. And the worst instances have been when I was dealing with actual illness, like a low fever, congestion, etc., and then some extroverted overwhelming type of personality who doesn't know how to think except for verbalizing it to others and at the same time subtly demanding validation starts orating to me on all the ways he knows how to keep from ever getting ill, and I'm standing there trying to listen politely while my gut feels like it's sinking down through my legs through the floor down, down, down into a bottomless abyss, dragging my soul along with it, and my whole body is screaming to just collapse in a heap, and all because this voice is relentlessly pounding its demands (listen to this, assimilate this, validate I'm right, be excited about what I'm telling you, perform for me!) into my psyche. Horrible. He meant well, but he was TORTURING me. And I couldn't comprehend then why this was sooooo horrible for me. It seems nuts, irrational to react that way. But it's so clear now. Soooo much is clear now.
Chris, you and Debby are awesome. This has to be your best video ever. You hit all 6 nails with a sledgehammer. You described me in perfect detail. The “small talk” is killer. I’m happy to talk if there’s a point to it, but if we’re exchanging pleasantries, I just want to tear my hair out! I doubt whoever asks me how I’m doing actually wants to know that answer, so just get to the point! I was in a store to buy clothes. Took my items to checkout. Lady ahead of me is yammering with a slower-than-Methuselah checker. Minutes drag. I finally interrupted, politely pointed out if she would stop talking so much maybe the checker would move faster. Other people are waiting.” Of course, she was affronted: “it’s people like you who make life miserable for everyone else!” To which I reply: “I’m sure it’s less miserable than you’re making mine. I have an elderly, disabled relative waiting in the car and it’s hotter than Hades outside. There are more important things happening in life than you standing here exchanging nonsensical chit-chat with someone who won’t remember your face after she says “have a nice day!”. She continued to grumble so I walked off, leaving my cart with clothing for someone to put away and left the store. They thought I was just being impatient. But my blood pressure shot up, my face was burning, my head was buzzing, my body was shaking, I was close to tears. Why? Because these so-called ‘normal’ people make life more complicated than it has to be, often with no other point than making themselves feel good that they’ve brightened a checkers day and feel they’ve taken the moral high-road over an annoying customer that dared to point out OTHER PEOPLE MATTER! (sorry, I don’t just recall events, I seem to relive them) BTW, is it safe to say that “normal” also exists on a spectrum, so that fundamentally, we’re all interwoven on the same spectrum?
I know what you mean! And if we don’t do small talk for any reason we’re often labeled rude, stuck-up, shy, or introverted when it could be neither of those. I’ve often been labeled shy or introverted when I usually don’t feel that way, just…autistic.
@@caseyjc5 Gotta love those labels, huh? It generally doesn't bother me too much now because I think the same things about their inanne chatter, a 'nothing burger'-- literally nothing, no meat between the dry flapping buns. I'm sure they mistake my wide-eyed, glazed stare for rapt attention... ;-) It's ok if you're introverted--you got more interesting company inside your head than out there.
The reason for all the medical issues is connective tissue disorders like hEDS, hypermobility, autonomic dysfunction, POTS, MCAS etc. which are extremely common comorbidities in those with neurodivergent or ASD/ADHD brains.
This was fantastic! Thank you for creating this video. I am not diagnosed professionally but I've suspected it for many years, and the online tests I have taken (and I've taken them many times) tell me I'm on the spectrum. And yet I constantly doubt whether it's true. Every one of these points that you went through was something I experience in some way. This was a great help for me.
I identified with ALL of these but the doorbell one...I'm like those cartoon cats that cling terrified to ceilings whenever the doorbell or a knock happens. I'm also the person with do not disturb and please don't knock or ring, etc. signs all over the door and porch. Phone is also only on silent.
@@Clleonieits more an anxiety then introvert thing, or well and autistic trait. I thought I was an introvert but after realising I was autistic I also realised I am an autistic extrovert. Introvert is more not wanting to have to engage and finding it taxing, but if a doorbell does not have you think, oh no, I do not want to engage, but like really strong anxiety, panic, or intense irritation, ... Thats not just introversion anymore.
#3 is fun when you meet another unwitting neurodivergent person. I used to work in a lab and my 60 y/o white male coworker whom everyone finds insufferable became one of my best buds because I realized he just wanted to talk about his special interests and hear mine. He wasn't about the small talk, he was too grumpy to mask or pretend he cared about things he didn't, but he always wanted to pick our brains and talk about the deeper meanings of life. His special interests were film, media, comedy, and conveniently, the science of the work we did. I'm pretty sure my supervisor is neurodivergent as well so the 3 of us chatting was always an unhinged hoot
Sometimes it's hard to see certain traits in yourself based on just a "category," or checklist. These examples are SO HELPFUL! Thank you!!! (I really believe I am on the spectrum, but I've also been through a lot of trauma, and believe I have ADHD as well - so it's hard to differentiate).
Very very good video. I`m not diagnosed but have been suspecting I`m on the spectrum for about a year now. It started with my son showing signs that I started looking into it. When I talked to my dad about it he actually told me he was diagnosed about 2 years before after many years of burnout. He just hadn`t shared it with us yet. My son also is not diagnosed yet, he is 6 and eventhou it is very clear he is different from children his age for many different reasons. There still doesn`t seem to be a need to diagnose him, because he himself is not bothered by any of the things that are different about him. As you gave your first example as soon as you said the situation happened when you walked in to the place, I knew there was someone else there with your friend. Everything you said afterwards about that situation I could have said word for word as a personal experience. The doorbell is much the same for me. A rush of stress goes through my body when I hear the bell when I did not expect it. I do pick up the phone thou, but do feel very anxious during a phonecall. Smalltalk? yeah no thank you. I either avoid it, or when I can`t it takes up a lot of energy because I have to fake it. Special Interests: I don`t currently have a long term special interest. But I do have a lot of short term fixations. Especially when I need/want to buy a new laptop, car, phone for example. I will research constantly, and I forget about my work and just do some more research. I also want to talk about it all the time. It will fade as soon as I have bought the thing. In the past I did have long term special interests thou, just not currently. Sensory: Not so much in term of sunlight etc. But I am very sensitive to someone, anyone, touching my face with their hands. Even my wife. For people I don`t know this extends to any touch at all, unless it is a handshake. Sound also has equal attention in a lot of situations. And I have recently figured out that certain shades of blue really relax me. I never noticed that in the past. Eye contact is hell, but I can force myself to do it. It does take away from my attention to the conversation because I constantly have to think about doing it. The hyperfocus on one specific thing in someone's face also sounds familiar. I don`t think I will get an official diagnosis because to me, if my son does happen to get it down the road there is little reason to suspect I`m not autistic when I recognise all these things in myself. There is very little my diagnosis will give me that I can`t give myself. My wife also is pretty convinced we both are and generally understands us very well. Thank you for this video, it was a good watch.
I feel like the most relatable thing for all of us with asd is the surprises when I comes to FOOD 😭 when I walk into a restaurant that has foods I know I like, just to find out their MENU CHANGED 😭 omg. It’s so bad and it’s so embarrassing. I used to think I would grow out of it, but I’m 22 and I still can’t help but bawl my eyes out when it happens. Or if I just don’t see any safe foods in general. Or if I order what I THINK is a safe food but then it turns out to taste different than I expected. Ugh. I have to go to the bathroom to cry and have a panic attack and then regain my composure to go back out into the restaurant but it 100% ruins my entire day.
The only thing I don't really have a problem with, is small talk. For me, it's a great starting pad to delve into deeper topics immediately. Granted I usually take control over those situations and quickly steer them into a topic I am knowledgeable about, and rope them in too. It's just a social game that I actively tried to get decently good at and it worked wonders for adult life and professional relationships.
The closest things to an authentic autistic special interest are my interests in ragtime, cartoons (be they comic strips, comic books, or animated) and early sound recording. If I'm not careful, I'll end up talking about any of those for twenty minutes before I realize what I've done, or the poor person I'm talking to flees. I actually ended up in tears when you talked about jumping through the roof when faced with an unplanned interruption. For me it's actually worse, since people with cerebral palsy have an ingrained startle reflex anyway. It's almost like being hit with a sudden electric shock, and I'm usually angry and disoriented for some time afterward. I cried because I remembered how my parents used to yell at me for jumping every single time they spoke to me and I wasn't anticipating it. It's like they considered it insulting, since I seemingly acted as if I were about to be beaten (their words).
Ragtime is very much cool and cartoons are fun. They are not weird at all. How is loving Ragtime any different than loving Classical music? Those folks go about about classical all the time. Lots of people love cartoons, comics, anime, etc. None of your interests are weird. And everyone loves to talk about what interests them. I love older cartoons and have a knack for knowing their theme songs (Super Chicken, anyone?). I know a lot more about Victorian underwear than most people from being part of a Victorian group and finding all the unders interesting. So what?
As a person with special interests like colour (how additive and subtractive colours function, how paint is made, colour theory and relation), and funeral rituals (including embalming), and knowing every single thing there is to know about animals, I really felt your third point 😂 Also, small talk is the *worst*
As if I were describing myself (like in many other comments). Congratulations on the way you speak and explain things. The issues you approached are also quite different from what most videos usually approach. Fantastic job. You've got a new fan.
That’s great news! I really appreciate the feedback! It really does mean a lot. Sometimes it’s hard sharing so much personal information and organizing my information, but the amazing community of people I get to interact with (folks just like you!) make it all worth while.
@@ChrisandDebby Thank you very much indeed for replying. Warmest regards from Brazil! (I'm a 50-year-old Aspie teacher. Asperger's has been "a dear friend of mine" career-wise.) Keep up with the brilliant videos!
I related to everything in this video!!! I had literally every issue you named at the end as well, and bad allergies. I purposely go to all doctors within the same organization thinking that they’d work together to piece the puzzle together, but they don’t. They are all just interested in their little niche. Some barely even look at you or listen to you. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety with panic, agoraphobia, and PTSD. I’ve asked to be tested at least for adhd because the medications I’m on aren’t working (and I’ve taken so many at this point) and I feel they’re making me worse. I have pretty much been ignored and one doctor even laughed and said “everyone thinks they’re a little adhd.” I need to find a psychiatrist who specializes in adhd and autism. My WHOLE life would make SO much more sense. But now I’m 51, and think that getting a diagnosis will be more difficult. Unfortunately, girls and women are really good at masking most of the time, and I’ve done it my whole life. And I’m really noticing now because as I get older it’s harder and harder to mask bc it takes so much energy. I’ve burned out multiple times and as I get older it takes less to get me to that point and longer and longer to recover. It’s so frustrating to say the least!!! It’s kind of heartbreaking to think that if only someone noticed, my life wouldn’t have been, and wouldn’t continue to be so hard.
I laughed listening to some of this. I absolutely -cannot stand- uninvited house guests. There are certain houseguests that cause me extreme anger and frustration and I spend all my time building up anger and getting sick before they come over. I talk to basically no one unless I have something to say, because I cannot stand small talk. I try to force myself, but I can't even pretend to be interested... and then they think I hate them. My major special interest is horses... but I also love tenpin bowling, archery, paint pouring and binge watching/reading info about the latest thing that interests me lol. I definitely have food and noise aversions! I'm terrified of thunder storms and fireworks. I definitely have food textural issues as well. Can't stand eye contact. Can kinda do it, but I feel like i'm staring into their soul and not really listening. I also have 20 million health conditions, including the ones above. I am not diagnosed with Autism though. I would love to have it checked out.
Thank you so, so much for this video. I'm being under a series of interviews with a psychologist, to see if I'm autistic or not. I'm 46 and I've always felt different from the rest of the people in my life. I identify with most of what you describe here... Have a nice life, greetings from Argentina 🇦🇷❤️
Omg, I thought only my sister was "allergic" to sun and sneeze when exposed to sunlight:D I myself am not, but I get nauseous when seeing flashing lights, not every one, but a very specific pattern that instantly makes me almost passed out and nauseous👌 Thank you for sharing, I'm not diagnosed but the more and more I learn about it the more I think I am also on the spectrum.
I had a funny thought about experiencing smells - I spent a lot of time in India, where it’s relatively common to burn waste/garbage to keep warm in cold weather (at least where I was). And now that I’m back in the US, periodically when I smell like burning garbage? I get all whistful and really stop to enjoy the WHOLE experience of the smell. Of burning garbage.
I batted 1000 on the bonus round. I have had all of these symptoms. My nerves rule my body and mind. I had diarrhea the entire year of 2020. I had a whole battery of tests and nothing was found wrong. I have a fantastic new doctor who listens and gets me help. I’m 82 and finally I’m getting answers.
I am 61 year old, self-diagnosed female. I don't believe a professional diagnosis is worth the financial pain of it, so I opted for online testing and scored so highly on all the AI exams that there is no doubt I am textbook. That is good enough for me. And Wow! I couldn't believe the list of medical issues that you put on the slide matched mine. I have had neurologic issues related to neurodivergence for my entire life. When I had a complete overload of stress in 2017, I seemed to tip into the dysautonomia problems really bad and doctors could not figure out what was wrong. I had every dysautonomia symptom in the book and the symptoms I had were very miserable. The doctors can't possibly put our puzzle together because like you said, they do not communicate and there really are no such people as "Diagnosticians" anymore. I do wish that doctors would educate themselves on ASD. It is sad for people like us because of the physical suffering and the shame of being told there is nothing wrong with you when you know damn well there is. I am pretty sure I have a typical and common set of symptoms that could easily be gathered by knowing how to look at the whole being versus just seeing people like me for a single, specialized ailment. A simple ASD screening test would be awesome! In addition to the physical history of the patient that we fill out for appointments, the doctor could offer a subset of questions with common ASD symptoms on it as part of that pre-exam, maybe there could be a fast track to a proper diagnosis instead of the never ending revolving doors leading to specialists, and then leading back to nowhere. Very frustrated with that. If every doctor had to learn in medical school about as these symptoms as part of a bigger, ASD could be treated as part of the whole person and the whole picture. I make sure that every doctor I see gets not only my self-diagnosis of ASD, but also, I try and impart some text book, typical information about us as a whole so that they may understand others like me much better. Thank you for making the video. It's a good one.
This video made me lean to the idea that actually just have ADHD. You explained really well what goes on in your head. I care about some stuff but it doesn't cause me to sweat THAT much about it. Adhd pretty much explains a lot of my differentness, if not all
This really helped me understand some things. Especially the BONUS sign. I have all but one of those issues. Yikes! Okay, better go advocate for myself! Thanks for this post. Really.
Heyo, thank you so much for this because I've been struggling trying to figure this out. from the internet reels constantly bringing up autism/neurodivergent videos in my algorithm to me telling my therapists about all the boxes I check off and her dismissing me telling me I'm not autistic. I have bipolar II along with a general anxiety disorder, mild OCD, and Motor Tics (which is a form of Tourette's). You can be autistic and have all the other things I have already, it's been proven. (I'm also a psych major lol) Besides everything you talked about in this video I also check off the boxes for missing important social cues, being hypersensitive, or having "too much empathy" (which I know it's sometimes more common to have a lack of empathy), how I can follow certain routines that aren't made by me but for the life of me cannot stay on a routine I make myself lol, etc. There are sooo many boxes I check off and I finally feel validated by this video. I'm looking to get tested (which tbh I'm really unsure of how to go about that and it's stressful because my therapist says since she thinks I'm self-diagnosing and trying to put a label on myself that I don't have, she didn't see the point in giving me resources 🤦🏽♀) and I've been burnt out on looking but this video popping up in my recommended got my drive back so thank you, i really appreciate you!
Wow, this might be the best explanation I've seen. Brilliantly done! I was diagnosed with ADD as a teen, but I can relate to many of these, especially #1 (don't ring my bell or call me! LOL) and all of the unexplained medical issues. My daughter reacted similarly to the sun due to a genetic niacin deficiency. Niacin cured her sun sensitivity and rashes, and one dose will take her anxiety away within minutes.
@@ChrisandDebby I have a very similar thing. In a teen now and was recently diagnosed with ADD but I was recommended an autism evaluation by a family member and I relate to a lot of things. The only problem is I can vividly remember special interests I had as kids but they all stopped when I was bullied. I also jump around but during the time I’m really into something oof an interest it’s all I’ll talk about for a week to a month and then it will change and I’ll come back to that but idk if that’s the ADD clashing and I relate to everything else.
Has anyone here felt comforted by a particular style of light (not in the sense of warm versus cool)? At work sometimes I work on a scratched up, but reflective metal tray, and the murky light reflecting up at me is actually very soothing to me for whatever reason.
Imagine my horror, when my former partner threw me a surprise birthday party. Came home to a house full of people. All wanting to socialize. And me with no opportunity to prepare.
I just don’t do that kind of thing, my friends know not to. They know me well and know I would hate it. But I would just escape to a room alone and ignore the party and people regardless of what they might think of me. I’m tired of trying to appear “ normal” to others.
Although I've never been tested, I honestly believe that I am on the spectrum. I've had all these symptoms my entire life. Fortunately, I'm able to function with some normalcy. The thing that hurts the most is people who underestimate/diminish our daily struggles. It's not just physical. It's not just mental. It's not just emotional or psychological. It's all these things combined. It's like being abducted by your own thoughts, thrown into a dark box, and trying to break out before you lose consciousness. It's a living nightmare. People who don't suffer from anxiety will never know just how frightening it is or how courageous we are to keep fighting our own mental weakness. ❤
When I was a nurse and had to smell rotting flesh,,,,it was YEARS later I would suddenly smell it again! I could not forget that smell! I left nursing. Too many foul smells and beeping machines, and fluorescent lights! I was diagnosed in my 40’s after going to therapy for chronic anxiety and depression. It sure explained why I was always called “Weird.” I got a hypochondria diagnosis by a dr once, it turned out to be MS. My therapist insisted I was not and to go see a neurologist. I was having severe migraines. The brain scan showed MS. Going to a therapist was the best thing I ever did for myself.
You explained these signs so well and I can 100% relate to all of them. I'm 26 and my parents have been suspecting me being autistic since I was a little child. I never got the diagnosis cause I've always been misunderstood. Now that I'm living in a different city, I will go and have it checked out again. Hopefully I will be taken seriously this time! Thank you for the great video! 😄
I recently got a primary physician. Something I've avoided my whole adult life, mostly because I didn't care whether I continued to exist or not. I got the same reaction you described when I questioned about heart palpitations and irregularities I've been noticing. When I was at the office everything was fine blood pressure, pulse etc. Just setting the appointment and getting myself to go was hard enough. I promised myself I'd do this for my parent's sake. Caring enough about myself to keep probing is daunting.
At first I thought I only had misophonia (aversion to certain sounds). Sounds like rain, water and wet sounds in general, as well as chalkboard and the way some people clean their nose make me cringe so hard I'd have to cover my ears. Then later on I realised I not only had audio sensitivity, instead I have sensitivity with all senses, mainly with touch and hearing. But I also have sensitivity to certain smells and I'm a picky eater to an absurd degree, in fact I used to go to the hospital a lot because I'd get anaemia because of my bad eating habits. On top of that, I've had tics since my childhood. Everyone would tell me I'd eventually "grow out of it", but now I'm an adult and I still have very annoying tics (both motor as well as vocal ones).
To be fair if I came accross someone sneezefarting I think I'd love them for making my day a little brighter. I'm a firm believer in 'it's only embarrassing if you qct like you're embarrassed'. Most stuff you can just ... 'own it'.
This was great information. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but seem to have all of the traits. I am actually older, but could never figure out why I was different and thought differently until I started exploring autism spectrum traits with other adults. The interesting element is that I work well with autistic children and understand their unique perspectives on the world. I just thought that I was empathetic, but now realize I am like them. You are wonderful. Thank You!😊
I've been searching this for a while because I've always had this feeling that something is not wrong but different about me and I cannot fit in no matter what I do. I even cried for a whole day on the first day of my job after I got home. I am a teacher and I'm pretty good at my job now but when I first started I just said "why is everything so hard for me?" because I was crying about things that did not even matter to other people. How come people just wing everything and call it a day? Here I am, planning everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Lessons have lessons plans, yes, but I have plan Bs, Cs and Ds for my lesson plans, activities, even for things I'd say. And mind you, a classroom environment is unpredictable. People are unpredictable and it's 8 different classes full of teeangers and kids. You cannot plan everything. And I started having panic attacks again because of the job at the beginning. I'm better now, but I realized a lot of things. 1. I hate unpredictability and surprises. I want to be prepared and have planned for every situation. 2. I crave routines. I've always got so anxious when my friends decided to arrange a meeting out of the blue and I still get nervous all day and can't focus on anything until the meeting time if a meeting I have today is later the day. I also cannot tolerate larger changes in my life such as changing a city, starting a new job/career, having new people in my life etc. 3. I really hate loud noises. I remember my childhood friend had once commented on this. We were listening to some music out loud and it was very loud. I remember feeling anxious and telling her to turn it down a little bit. She said "I realized that you really don't like loud noises." I am also very soft spoken, my students say they love my voice for how soothing it is. I don't like speaking very loudly either. 4. I cannot stand bright light and white light. I always use dim yellow light and never use the ceiling light. White light makes me nervous. 5. I literally cannot believe about the morning light sneeze thing because I've just heard of that for the first time. Every morning, regardless of polens, seasons, perfume or humidity I get a sneeze attack that lasts half and hour every morning when I wake up. I've had allergy tests and I have no allergies. If I had an allergy to something at home, I'd be having that reaction all the time. No, it's just the mornings as soon as I wake up. 5. I don't know what I'm feeling most of the time and I can't tell what people are feeling / can't read facial expressions. This makes my job ans relationships really harder. I always listen to everyone and decide to have an external view of a particular person by listening to what other people say about them, piling up that info and comparing it with the vibes I got from their personality and expressions. A lot of times the people I thought were mocking me or cold at me turn out just to be normal. I keep reading them wrong. 6. I hate small talk. I can get along very well with strangers and when I do, I've realized that I don't linger on small talk just jump into deeper topics and people actually like that. So it works for me. But I get really weird during small talk, especially if the other person cannot properly lead the conversation for me. I rely on them during the small talk. But during a normal or deeper talk, I can talk for hours to an end about things I like and my special interests. Which is weird because I am much silent most of the time because I don't like talking nonsense and I don't like small regular talk. So people get appalled when I suddenly talk for hours in a very excited manner. There are many others things I realized for some time, but these are the things I can remember now. What should I do? Do I get a diagnosis? I'm in Turkey, who should I go to in order to get a diagnosis? A psyhologist, a psychiatrist or a therapist? Even if I get one, what does it serve? I'm also scared that employers look for reasons to fire employees and this kind of a disability (sorry if it's not appropriate, idk what to call it feel free to correct me) can very well be a reason to get fired from such a social job. I'm feeling kinda burnt out at times from trying so hard to read people, plan things, and also look normal. I usually have a stoic or resting bitch face. Sometimes people find it weird. So I mask it all the time. It very well may be autistic masking as I've seen so far. I just know that labeling something doesn't make it go away. Even if I get a diagnosis, I wouldn't be able to say it to other people because they would pity me or see me as a lesser human being. Yes, they would because it is how it is here in Turkey. People are either afraid of mental illnesses and conditions or pity them. It is a big stigma here. I really don't know what to do. Edit: oh and also the sounds getting equal attention thing! We used to have very noisy neighbors and they would start making very loud noises after midnight about 10 years ago. It would irritate me so much I would bang on the ceiling, cry desperately and literally wanted to kill myself because of it. My mom used to say just ignore it and she would sleep well but I couldn't sleep for hours unless they stopped making noises. I still cannot discern sounds around me, I try so hard to hear my students. I can't understand and acknowledge what a student next to me is saying to me if another student at the back of the class is talking to his friend. I have no filter on that aspect. I get really tired and get headaches from trying to focus on all that noise, trying to wear a mask, be nice, do my job according to plan and deal with unpredictable problems in the classroom. I also hate hospitals for their smells. I also cannot stand even the slightest of bad mouth breath and sweat. I ended some friendships because of this. But I also really like the way some people smell and I just want to stop and smell and physically experience them.
So much of what you wrote was very similar for me, especially when I was a full time teacher and later administrator. I love being in schools but the noise levels and all the sudden changes and adjustments to routines and basically everything you mentioned made it really hard too. When you’re also having sleep issues, it can feel so horrible every day, so it’s hard in a way that non-autistics might not always understand. Sleep is also hard for many autistics (myself included) so jobs like teaching can be challenging due to the schedules, but also hard to find the ideal balance. I don’t know a lot specifically about Turkey for this topic (would love to visit someday though) but the stigma is very similar in Asia but slowly improving. You are right that a formal diagnosis won’t really change much - no medicine to take that changes things (but some medications can help with certain symptoms, if needed), and also a lot of the world just isn’t designed well for autistic brains. But if you can understand yourself better, what you need, when you need breaks, etc - life can improve a lot. It doesn’t mean it’s easy but it can be easier to give yourself time and space to heal and recover when you need to, rather than trying to keep pushing and burn yourself out. Thanks for sharing your experiences - it’s challenging but also helpful for more people to understand what it really means to be autistic. There is so much we need to do on a daily basis that goes against our neurology, and hopefully things can improve gradually for understanding and also lead to improvements in general for autistics. That’s our goal here too!
God, I feel you. I taught English in Korea for a year and felt completely overwhelmed all the time because I just couldn't wing it the way everyone else could. I had hardly any time for myself at all because I was constantly behind and couldn't get my planning done within work hours. And I couldn't accept doing the minimum, because I wanted my students to like me and enjoy my lessons, but couldn't simply rely on being a fun, outgoing, animated person. I'm diagnosed ADHD, not ASD, but I strongly suspect I have both. When I left the country I didn't even meet with any friends to say goodbye. I've told myself that it's because I didn't like them much, but the truth is, it kind of just...didn't occur to me until later...
All three of my children were diagnosed with autism, and I was surprised because two of them had so much in common with me and the things I struggled with as a child and today too.
I am a middle school special education teacher and I have a 7th grade student who is an enigma to me. She hates talking, told me she doesn’t get jokes when I told her one, has no friends, never says hi to anyone, works constantly (which I think is an escape mechanism to avoid people). Acts like she is going to cry if she has to talk in front of people, talks softly and covers her mouth when she talks, has had foot and back problems and also has an ADHD diagnosis but isn’t hyper at all. She loves drawing and really lacks empathy for others. My brother is autistic so I know what it looks like and I am starting to think this girl may be AU. I’m not even sure how to proceed because I am not a professional. She is my favorite kid and I want to do right by her and get her help if she needs it. I want to see her happy and have friends and to giggle and have fun like other kids her age. I want her to feel included. She enjoys the company of adults more than her peers and want her to have fun with friends. I hope I can do something for this wonderful child but am at somewhat of a loss. How do I broach the subject with my teaching team and admin or even her parents? God give me wisdom…
Hi, coming from a person with a similar childhood. I always wanted to Be included, but never was as a child. If you are close with her, become a mentor to the child. I’m sure she will appreciate that. Best of luck to you ❤
@@marielb4720 yes mentorship is probably the best thing that may happen to her, better than a therapist. At least for one year she will blossom (lived experience), she maybe just needs a life buoy
I’m in the UK. I did a bunch of on line quizzes to see if I was autistic and always come out in the top half, ie strong possibility I am autistic. I have a lot of those health issues you mentioned at the end, and relate to all the other 5 things you described. I asked my GP to see if I could be tested for autism and she gave me a bunch of forms to fill in and a bunch for someone who knows me well. A lot of the questions on the form sadly don’t seem to relate to the online quiz questions or the subjects you and other autistic people have brought up. They were more like ‘Do I rock back and forth?’ ‘Do I know how to keep myself clean and do I know what right clothes to wear for the weather?’ I hate surprises, I hate birthdays and Christmas, not because I am stingy, but because it is a huge headache what to get folk. I hate folk just turning up and have avoided answering the door. I hate speaking on the phone, I hate small talk and feel very uncomfortable so then I waffle. I have even seen folk I know in the street and if they haven’t seen me, have either turned back, or crossed over to avoid them. I hate certain smells and textures. I obsess over things I like, for example I will watch programmes like Friends or The Big Bang Theory and certain films over and over again. There is so much more, yet a lot of these things are not covered in the autism questionnaire. I would love a diagnosis simply because the people who think they know me, might just understand me better and go easier on me.
I think it is a very interesting video. I can recognize myself in many of this stories, especially in the first story with something not planned happening. I feel a lot of stress when something is not planned happen. If I know something about the person, small talk is kind of easy; just ask questions; people love talking about themselves. Lately, I have been wondering if I have ASD. I like many of the things people with ASD like. I have many interests, like gathering information about topics. Among my three favorite things are a headset with active noise canceling and sunglasses with mirrors. When I was little I had migraines, especially if I had been in the sun. It felt as if my brain crashed because of sensory overload, after a hard restart I was fine for a while. I lost migraine, but got insomnia which I now kind of think of as the grown up response to sensory/feeling overload. I kind of miss the migraines.
So much of this I relate to and have done since I was little. Yes sunlight can make me sneeze too, in fact bright light in general can make me sneeze but worse than that if I don't get away from it, it can five me migraines and eventually I can throw up. Small talk...I run out of things to say after the weather and it makes me feel uncomfortable but if they want to talk, I can listen for a little while. Special interests: At the moment it's Beatrix Potter and her art work... Amazing woman, also it's autism itself, ADHD. Also amazing about the orchard interest as I worked for many years as a gardener/horticulturist with a special interest in pruning, particularly pruning roses but later I started to learn about soil science, plant diseases, especially those of the malus genus; both ornamental and domestica and yes I love the smell of scented roses. If they have no scent then really they're not roses as far as I'm concerned. I could go on because you talked about so much but I won't bore you and I'm sure you have so many comments to read but just know that I find this video so helpful. It further seals why I beed to seek out a diagnosis or not. 👍 Thank you.
Wow! Lilac is my favorite too! I also will STOP and just breathe it in. In the past three years fragrances (colognes, eau de toilettes/parfums) have become a "special interest" (passion) of mine. Okay, 'nuff commenting here. Sorry to monopolize....
I don't know what devilwood is, but have you sniffed heliotrope? I used to open bottles of spices-cloves, vanilla, maple, cinnamon, and sniff them (at home). Then I found a mini crock pot, and pour the spices in water and soon my whole house smells like a bakery. It's bliss.
If you love lilac, you gotta try and find devilwood. It’s an amazing smell! I also love fragrances and have quite a collection of amazing niche colognes. What are some of your favorite fragrances?
@@ChrisandDebby Comme des Garcons Rouge (Beets and Frankincense!); CdG Marseille (amazing soap scent); Oriza L. LeGrand Chypre Mousse (forest soil, dead leaves, mushrooms, moss, stunning); Amouage Jubilation XXV and Beach Hut Man; Guerlain Heritage and Vetiver; Dior Eau Sauvage Parfum (note, not Sauvage!); Hermes L'Ombre des Merveilles, Un Jardin a Cythere, and the Terre d'Hermes line; Lalique Encre Noire Sport; Cartier Declaration EDT, Houbigant Fougere Royale; Lancome Hypnose for Men (discontinued ☹); and finally, L'Etat Libre d'Orange 500 Years and Sous Le Pont Mirabeau. No, I'm no Rockefeller, a lot of this stuff I have in tiny sample vials, like the Amouage, Houbigant and L'Etat Libre.
Thank you for this and your other videos! There extremely helpful in getting a better understanding of why ‘I have all these strange issues which other people don’t seem to have’.🙏
Hypersensitive auditory processing disorder/hyperacusis. I believe this is what allows us with this disorder to hear electricity. Listen to tripple layered music. The third song is actually two songs played quietly through both ear pieces. Our brain synchronises this input behind and to below the ear on both sides. Into one noise and then amplifies is to the some volume as the other two songs that play in Lethe left side and right side of our brain. The third song can be hear in the central part of the brain with two earpieces and only one ear and at a lower volume and in a different place in one earpiece of your remove one of them
I’m starting to wonder whether I have autism. But I’m a woman and terrified of immediate dismissals because I can force eye contact and my speech sounds normal. Socially I’m a loner and I never had a real job in my 39 years, but doctors can always point to some random other illness that has some overlap with autistic characteristics and say “it’s not autism, you have [insert anything from the alphabet soup here]”.
I feel that way too, I'm diagnosed with ADHD, but ADHD alone doesn't explain everything. To make matters worse, we still suffer from impostor syndrome, in recent days I have been doubting myself and blaming my hormones, it is very difficult to remain in this doubt and not have a correct diagnosis.
I recently turned 57 in June. I don't need a formal diagnosis...I KNOW I'M ON THE SPECTRUM 100%. Plus ADHD. The reason I'm not going for a "professional diagnosis" is that if I'm met with any skepticism or condescension whilst spending my cash and time(I would have to go for private medical care as I live in Montreal and the public Mental Health care here is USELESS)I would literally "Freak out" on the Mental health care provider. The evidence is my life and the million challenges I've faced while navigating this world with my brain...I REALLY appreciate your videos-Chris and Debby, as you illustrate perfectly that we are ALL different but facing the same kind of challenges ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. Thanks again.
Me too, especially the “bonus” health issues. Have also struggled with Misophonia my whole life, but constantly told I need to be more tolerant of others 🙄
Yes! On all. Wow, this is blowing me away. I don't like wasting my vocal chords on small talk. Dr. Has no clue on body issues. It all makes sense now. Thank you!
I can do one sentence small talk but get irrationally infuriated by more than the initial greeting, especially with the same person who insists on doing it everytime you see them. I see them, and go out of my way to avoid them 😂
Oh yes!! I know all about avoiding those types!😂😂 I’m actually writing an autistic’s guide to surviving small talk. It’s pretty entertaining. It’ll be a free download and I’ll post links when I’m finished.
Interesting .. I did a monotropism survey .. and the result made sense...i was not much like an autistic person but I also was not much like a neurotypical either .. in kinda of a grey area.. I can relate to autistic experiences with social and communication but not particularly with the sensory aspects.. at the intensity .. I have concluded that I am not sure I would get an ASD diagnosis ( and not spending the $$ to find out) but I definitely have a number of autistic like traits ...that have impacted my life.. am older .. so it's just quite calming to finally realize what these traits are .. am far more relaxed and less confused ....i get it now😀
OMG ... #4 ... YES! I can't exist in a place such as Dave & Busters during dinner on a weekend ... the bright flashing lights, the loud droning sound of everything ... people walking into you since there are so many of them in there ... that cacophony of aural soup that makes your head feel like it will explode, the lights, people slamming into you, people asking you something but you can't understand what they are saying because of that cacophony of noise ... which is getting louder and louder ... people tripping over you, more lights, anxiety builds, the lights the sound the *crunch* get out of there now!
Sounds like a cope from clear signs you're autistic. Faster you embrace it the faster you can start living. I used to been like you when I first heard about autistic. I kept it deep in my heart not telling anyone. My parents knew something was wrong with me, lots of people avoided me from clear signs of being unhinged.
I once even had to quit my amusement park summer job just about a month after it started because my eyes burnt up (even with always wearing sunglasses) so I could barely even open them for 2 weeks and only when it’s dark. Fortunately I got unemployment money and soon after I got my official autism/asperger’s diagnosis for free and easily to get employment services, especially since I honestly told the doctor that I didn’t say my first words until I was 4 and had a hard time socializing especially as a child, along with having hypersensitivity to everything. I think I’m more hypersensitive to smell and taste more than anything else, such as still refusing to eat most vegetables and some fruit like bananas and blueberries. But also can relate to absolutely loving certain other smells and tastes like coffee, bread, chocolate, and even the smell of the beach. My “special interests” have been usually what other girls/women like but to an extreme, such as dolls when I was a kid, celebrities, social media, fashion, and makeup, but sometimes they’re more unusual like conspiracy theories and non-mainstream music including constantly going to different music shows, concerts, and festivals.
Your videos are awesome! My 13 year old daughter has not been diagnosed yet but has all of these signs. Im excited to find your videos and learn how I can help make her life easier and support her super powers :).
I (26 years old) got diagnosed with aspergers a couple of weeks ago. I started out pursuing an autism diagnosis because I was fairly certain that I would get it. And now that I have it, I'm struggling with imposter syndrome. I keep watching videos like this one and as soon as there is even one symptom that I don't exhibit, I see it as confirmation that I'm not actually autistic. However, I really appreciate that you remind us that autism is a spectrum and that it can be different from person to person. Though maybe I should really stop watching those videos for now, they aren't helping me in my current state.
I am 53 and am just now realizing that I may be a high functioning autistic person. I’m so grateful for people like you who are sharing this important information. Otherwise, we would still be stuck with stereotypes (like “Rain Man”) and hence go undiagnosed.
Oh the bonus sign just hits!!!! I have similar experience with you, and people recommended me a lot of different supplements, but all of them gave me negative experience instead of what people experience commonly. My medical issues include gastro (I did my scope two times before I know it is about autism), skin problem and itchiness, bladder, dizziness, vertigo, inflammation (until the extent I suspect myself having HIV and I spent money doing the test), sleep issue, and anxiety (which was the diagnosis of most doctors I have seen and they dismissed me saying I will never be autistic).
Woah the last point. Exactly that, I go from doctor to doctor and nobody can help me and they all say there's nothing wrong or I need to do more, eat healthier, eat less, exercise more, more sleep etc. Thank you. I was so unsure whether I was on the autism spectrum and suddenly it makes so much sense together with adhd. This is exactly the piece of the puzzle that was missing.
Nicely done. My mother told my friend that I have strange ways. She knew I was different in my own way, and yet, I was never diagnosed or evaluated. I never understood why I had so much trouble relating to people and communicating. My interests were odd or too technical about things that gave the other person pause to think he is strange, just like my mother said. Well I still need an official test, but all of the tests I have taken show at 80% positive autistic.
And I thought all of this was normal. Everything you said resonates. I was upset because my friend invited us to a get together and did not tell us old co-workers was going to be there. I get physically sick with the smell of heavy perfume to a point I want to vomit.
I completely agree, and I am super thankful! Also, your recall of your time teaching really resonated! As an educator, connecting with my colleagues has proven to be a real challenge. For a while, I felt really guilty about it, but as of late, I’ve accepted the fact that the social battery just isn’t there. I also hit the lights and rest at my desk to recharge btw periods. As overstimulating as a classroom full of kids might seem, I like that I can control the environment and the conversation. We’re not talking just to talk, but to learn-to me, that makes a lot of sense. Lol. Also, since communication w students is typically interest- or idea-driven and far less nuanced (Hallelujah!), I typically prefer chatting with them over my coworkers. Did you find that this was the case with you? Are you still in the profession?
I suspect I'm autistic (finally figuring it out ~ I'm 47 and have been different long as I can remember) and so I've been watching lots of videos and I think this is my favorite so far! Not too fast and not too slow and no annoying things. Thank you!! And I actually paid attention to most of it and actually watched it (I have to play Spider Solitaire when I watch things). And that story totally made me laugh and I haven't really laughed in months. Thank you again!!
I want to thank you for not adding annoying background music. 🎉
I will bail so fast on a video that has annoying background music, even if the content is helpful ...
👍❤️😂😂😂
@@almondmilksodasame
This ^
Yes!!!!
I've always wondered why I didn't see people stop and explore things. Smells, patterns, the way the light hits the ground, the way the flower is blooming, the smell of that patch of honeysuckle that's so amazing. I always feel kind of weird, and get some looks. People just walk by as if the beauty didn't exist. Thank you for explaining that they don't get it the same way we do. I suspected that, I try to make my art express that feeling, but I can get nowhere close.
I resonate with you. It's worse when you feel like you're slowing down the group you're traveling with bc you stopped to appreciate something.
Everyone's just in go, go, go mode from one place/task to the next, rarely taking in the journey bc they "don't have time". They never have time. When I'm in that mental space, I like the feeling as if time doesn't exist. People should experience that more, it's lovely.
@@spaghetto9836 💟 Exactly. I was watching the clouds today and it was AWESOME!
The one idiom I do get is 'stop and smell the roses'. Although I understand now that it refers to slowing down and appreciating life. When I was younger I wouldn't have understood this.
@@nannywhumpers5702Beautiful aren't they! My husband and I often look up at the sky and cloud formations this time of year and say "it's a Rupert day" referring to Rupert the bear and the comic drawings. They were often depicted as cloudy, sunny summer days. 😊
Me too! :)
OMG! It's as if you are my mind describing me to someone! My shrink says I can't be autistic because I have too much empathy and my humor is too sharp! Yet Every single point was spot-on including the vague physical symptoms. I am so grateful for videos like this explaining autism in everyday terms. I'm 70 and finally finding a place where I fit in!
Oh my god, I wish people didn't always talk about stuff they don't know enough about, especially medical professionals! A shrink told my partner she couldn't possibly be autistic because she has a degree in German studies...I'm so glad there are other, more reliable sources of information.
Your partner needs a new therapist!!
I’m so happy you like my videos! I have another video where I debunk 7 myths about autism and one of them is that autistics can’t show empathy. That’s absolutely ridiculous and there’s an abundance of evidence that shows we absolutely can and do!
There are many of us who share similar experiences, symptoms, and feelings. You are definitely not alone!! But you do need to find a new therapist!!
@@ChrisandDebby I guess this was in response to my comment :) Luckily she didn't come in contact with this therapist as part of an ongoing therapy. She has someone much better for that who is very supportive of her seeking assessment for autism. But this guy made her feel like an imposter for no good reason.
Autistics are actually know for having TOO MUCH empathy at times, it's just different how it's processed or shown. Think of Mr. Darcy in Jane Austin's novel Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Darcy feels the needs to right the situation with Mr. Wickham thru actions and correcting what he could as he felt incredibly responsible for not acting and empathy for the trouble this caused others. Mr. Darcy is thought to be autistic. It's a good google.
Also, I wanted to add, you might not need a new therapist, but if they aren't open to understanding what autism actually is, then maybe you do. I just wanted to add that option because some people are well meaning but ignorant and we can offer the opportunity for growth if we want to and want to keep the relationship. But I have a sharp whit and deep empathy, and all the traits of Level 1 autism, so incorrect on their part.
Diagnosed at 52 after years of anxiety, meltdowns in embarrassing situations like in busy shopping malls (that I used to call my "wobblies"), recurrent depression, therapy, being told I'm "weird" all my life, preferring solitude and my safe space. By the time my psychiatrist diagnosed me she said it was so obvious to her that I am autistic that she was shocked that none of my previous therapists had picked up on it. That day felt like my birthday! Now I understand my "quirks" and how to minimise the things that disrupt my peace. I am finally free to be myself! 😍
I'm 54 and was just assessed last week. I'll find out the results in a couple days but I'll be more than a little surprised if I'm not autistic. Your background sounds similar to mine and I'm glad to be finally learning _why_ I've had these struggles my whole life.
I actually had a therapist tell me I *definitely* was not autistic. That made me ignore my suspicion for a while but I've since left that therapist (which was challenging in itself, for me). I feel like there's a lot for me to learn but I'm finally hopeful that, now that I know what's behind it all, I can work on strategies to cope with my challenges.
I drove a taxi for ten years. When people would get in and say "been busy?" I would eventually go completely silent because I just couldn't handle being asked that stupid question, and I knew they didn't care for my answer because how could they? They didn't know me! Sometimes, I would reply "if you'd like to have a conversation, I'll talk about anything except this. The more outrageous the better." Or I'd say "tell me what's really on your mind, then we can have an interesting conversation." Or I would go full honest and say "I'm sorry, I have been asked that question so many times I don't know how to reply to it any more. What would you really like to talk about?"
About a third of people would be completely offended and go silent, which I loved. And it really doesn't matter to me whether some stranger likes me or not.
Another third would battle me over my attitude, and we'd end up usually with a good conversation, after I had apologized for my bluntness.
A further third would go with that and change the topic showing slight annoyance, but we'd usually end up with a good conversation.
I think because I'm real, it unlocks the potential in others to be real with me, and actually most people find that supremely liberating.
I get into Lyfts and force out a "How are you?" even when I don't want to.
The last 4 drivers nodded and didn't answer, and were quiet all the way to my destination.
It was comfortable and relaxing for both of us, since neither of us needed to talk.🙂
Also, I don't think I'd be able to muster up "Been busy?" It feels so unnatural and awkward to me.
Maybe the driver has been, maybe they haven't been. Either way, they are doing their job getting me to where I am going!😂
If I am in a somewhat talkative mood, I will make observations about things and start a conversation based on that.
I won't say I like their car if I don't, so if I say it, I really mean it. They may give a quick "Thank you". Then I will just go on about the things that I like about it, right down to the size of the cupholder😅.
If they start to seem uninterested in the first topic, and I genuinely am interested in another thing, I'll start talking about that.
I may get a good vibe from the person and ask how long they have been driving, not necessarily because I'm too interested in that, but because it can lead to a good conversation.
It has many times.
Most of the time, I will probably say "Hi", and be quiet for the rest of the ride.🙂
I am undiagnosed but my wife and I laughed tears in our eyes watching your videos, I am sure you and I have very similar autism because so many of your examples fit me and our life 100%.
I feel like we have been really good at talking trough many of these issues already but watching your channel was amazing and strenghtened our understanding of each other even more. You are absolutely brilliant, thank you.
I have adhd. Came here to see what it's like on this end of the spectrum. There are correlations and this was fascinating. I find that my adhd and people with autism get along really well! I enjoy being around autistic people as the stimulation level is super soothing and also we have our fascinations. Humor seems to be similar in some ways too.
A lot of us like or insist on routine no matter how inconsequential it is, for example, how you sit/get up from a chair, sitting in the same place on the couch or only eating one specific meal from your favorite restaurant. I also have a habit of getting really attached to a certain song and will listen to that one song for hours and hours each day if I could. Recently I’ve been attached to AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ because that guitar riff is epic!
Yes😊😊😊
You are spot on with this!! I have to adhere to a lot of routines or things don’t work out well. And Thunderstruck is a good one to listen to on repeat for… a year. Thanks for sharing!!
@@ChrisandDebby agreed, because if I’m not on routine I legitimately have meltdowns or I get upset if there is an unexpected change in my routine. It’s not just the change of routine but also the risk of sensory overload occurring. I enjoy your videos as you and your wife, Debby have given me some great insight on autism and great advice too. I already know I have it but I’ve begun to recognize it in my friend. Anyway thanks for sharing your experiences and story, it was very intriguing and inspiring!
Oh and I saw the Nee Doh toy and was so mesmerized that I bought one and you’re right about it. I can’t put the thing down haha!
Wow. This is the first time I’ve heard someone say the song thing. I’m the same way. I will listen to a song on repeat for HOURS! This whole video really hit home
My whole life feels like a routine. I do the exact same thing everyday to feel safe. If something disrupts my routines then I become angry and try get that one thing done that surprised me as quickly as I can. I never look strangers and some family members in the eyes, I only stare at the people I can trust. Eye contact can be so overwhelming so I never do it and just force my self occasionally to look at people so they know I'm trying. I don't like conversations and try end them early on if I get into one. I get obsessed with hobbies and they change and come back every so often. I stay up late because its it nice and quiet. I like having my home clean and have everything in the right place. Have same breakfast every morning. When I want to tell someone something I get so excited because I find it interesting or funny. I keep the same group of friends and would never want to get new friends on my online Xbox. I love cleaning and tidying because I know exactly what the end result will be. If I'm into my hobbies then I don't want to do anything else not even cleaning. I get stuck in my routines and sometimes i wanna change something that I'm scared about but people think I'm being silly and don't help and instead say to me that I'm fine even though I hate that pacific thing so much and it makes me panic
Adding the explanation that an autist might think about their special interest from the time they wake up, while they are eating, while they are showering, last thing they think about before they go to bed, etc... 👩🏼🍳👄chefs kiss. I don't know that I've heard anybody else include that facet of it in such a poignant way, and it is absolutely the truth. Well done.
It's so true, word by word! I like it.
I must say, it’s so refreshing not dealing with the annoying background noise and the bad visuals and sound quality of most TH-cam videos. You did so well. Thanks for your channel.
“Small talk is a devastating experience” is the most underrated statement I’ve ever heard.
Can I add that "everything that I don't find interesting is small talk"? Or "anything talked about generally without sufficient details is small talk"? Lol
It's just something you have to go through before you get to more interesting topics.
You can't introduce yourself to someone like "Nice you meet you, John. So what do you want about communism?".
Thank you for not having music playing in the background of your video! I believe that I am probably on the spectrum and music playing in the background of a TH-cam video is the aural equivalent of having someone jumping around behind a person speaking. I matched on all 5+1 signs. 🙂
"Reflexive sneezing induced by light, and sunlight in particular, is estimated to occur in 18 to 35 percent of the population and is known as the photic sneeze reflex (PSR) or the ACHOO (autosomal dominant compulsive helio-ophthalmic outbursts of sneezing) syndrome."
From Scientific America
I have the sneezing too in especially morning sunlight. It took 60 odd years to realize I'm Autistic. I super focused on CAD/CAM, self taught. All the owners where I worked loved me. The coworkers not so much. I have trouble with people. Dogs, cats and children are my best friends. I am married, my wife called me Doc Martin at times. I didn't get it, he is a character on a series we watch who has either Aspergers or ASD.
I wish I knew why smells, sounds and light can be overwhelming and sometimes beautiful. I have a super nose and taste buds.
Thank you for your video. I'm am having much anxiety after watching due to your talking about the front door, phone and unexpected things.
Oh you beat me to it!!! lol gosh darn it isn’t this fascinating. :)
I also sneeze when I walk out into bright sunlight! I knew it was something other people experienced too, but this video is the first time I’ve heard it about it possibly being related to autism.
Looking at light for a free sneeze is the best
I'm 49, and I remember when I was about 6 years old, my parents threw me a birthday party at our home. there were a total of about 20 to 30 people there, all crammed into our tiny row home house. after about an hour of party time, I realized that I had reached my limit - I could not handle all of those people any longer. without saying anything to anyone, I just sat at the top of our steps on the second floor and cried. this eventually manifested into what I eventually perceived as a severe social anxiety amongst large groups of people.
I may be an undiagnosed adult with autism: the more anecdotal pieces I hear from you and other channels, the more I think I may be on the spectrum. I'm a teacher, and earlier this school year, there was a musical presentation being given in our gymnasium. The music got waaaay turned up, to the point where I could feel the beat in my chest, and it absolutely had a very adverse reaction in me and made me overly anxious and angry. I had to leave the building to get away from it and calm down (and I could still hear it outside!).
Same! One problem with figuring it out is that if I am on the spectrum, I've been masking for 50 years so some things are deeply hidden. Still, I confidently tick five of these, and give at least a half mark to the sensory one because I totally react to sound that way.
I was diagnosed at the age of 3 and now I'm 22. I still try to be like everyone else and I feel bad when I don't accomplish things. I was a slow leaner and that be because I might have some adhd to where I can't pay attention or when I was in school I didn't understand why it was important to learn. Every autistic person is so different. I don't have problems with loud music and if it's my favourite song I would blast it, I do hate when I'm talking to someone in my household then I hear my 5 year old brother talking in the background as I feel the person that I'm talking to can't hear me. I just hate noises I don't wanna hear. I'm probably not good at filtering out other loud noises. I also rant on youtube comments and feel I have to explain myself and say everything that comes up in my head. I do the same thing everyday and if something disrupts that then I feel I'm not in my safe space anymore and I feel angry about it. Having a clean home is something I enjoy as it feels right. Thank you for being a teacher!
Much like the way ADA regulations have made life easier for everyone, I believe that someday we will have codified guidelines for light, sound, and smells that are intended to address the sensitivities of neurodivergent people, and additionally happen to make everyone healthier.
As a minor example on the ADA side: doors with automated switches for people in wheelchairs are also really great for an able-bodied person who is carrying a bunch of groceries, or who has a shoulder problem that isn't to the level of a formal disability.
Analogously: regulating blue-spectrum and too-bright lights could reduce cancer rates (there's some decent research linking cancer to nighttime light exposure). Limiting decibel levels more strictly is going to be better for everyone's hearing and stress levels. And regulating smells will likely lead to fewer indoor air pollutants, e.g. running filters that remove mold particles vs. using scented air fresheners.
In the meantime, you can get a free decibel meter app on your phone. It's easy to look up safe exposure levels, and if you can prove to the person in charge that the decibel reading is higher than what's considered safe exposure in a workplace, they pretty much have to turn it down (or risk a lawsuit, at least in the U.S.) ...It's okay to be "that person" and there's no way that music level was good for the kids, either!
Some of the most viscerally gutting experiences I've had were surprise parties, I mean for me. And I felt horribly guilty about feeling so horrible about the love and kindness my friends were demonstrating by throwing me a surprise party. I mean, what an ingrate I am, right--what's wrong with me? Which only makes it worse, because you're feeling existentially gutted by this psycho-sensorily shattering assault PLUS you're plagued by the sense of being pathological for hating this kindness so much. My ASD discovery last year clicked this plaguing perplexity, along with countless others, right into place. I don't feel so bad about feeling bad about it anymore. It's okay now, and I have more prerogative in life. Like, "Know what, dear friends and family? NEVER a surprise party for me, okay? It tortures me, so the most loving thing to do for me is...NOT, and I will love you forever for it."
It's an awful feeling to know you're being misread by others, and that you don't even understand your reactions. We hate the labels slapped on our backs, but ironically, it's the ASD/ADHD labels that create genuine talking points between 'us and them'. We have a legit explanation for our ways, quirks, behaviors--they're not just bad attitudes. I resisted labels but finally told my therapist, "I need a label." Not because I, Debbie, need it, but so it can become a bridge for those who have no clue what the world is like inside my head. I refuse to lean into the label, but it's there if I need a get-out-of-jail-free card. Ken, your knowledge of your ASD not only gives you much-needed relief, but you now have the information that explains the 'why' of the 'what'. Who knows if others will understand or reject it? The one person who needed it most is you, and it sounds like it's been a life-changer for you.
@@scruffypupper Very intelligent, empathetic analysis, Debbie, thank you so much!
I was thrown a surprise party and got so angry everyone left so I feel you
Wow,thanks for sharing this about the surprise party, I was so hurt when my husband looked at me after a surprise birthday party for him and he reacted afterward with Don't ever do that again!!!
Now I know why, at least I have an idea now!
@@teribartusek1125 as an introverted slightly autistic, we just don't do well with surprise parties. It feels like an attack on our right to choice to be there or not. If you wanna throw a party just ask and a month or 6 in advance
I love how there is no background music and you’re fidgeting the whole time like I do. All of these are true and I want to seek a diagnosis. Work is so exhausting because I mask and work with women who like small talk. My fiancé does say I talk about the same topic constantly and overly obsessed with Snoopy
Small talk usually shuts down when they ask how I am and I reply “alive”. No more small talk just the response of “me too”. People just don’t know how to respond and are pretty much talk less after that.
The thing is I'd have an easier time making small talk if I got that as a response than a regular expected response
One of my responses is "I'll probably live." I accidentally said it at a funeral once.
i wish that worked, it doesn’t for me
my favourite is when someone asks me "What's wrong?", I say "What isn't?"
Maybe its rude, but I really don't care and don't want to talk about my problems. I'm just sick of pretending I'm ok, you know?
"How are you"
"Still alive."
😟
Me 😀
I just want to say this is the best video I have found describing my experience.
I'm only a couple of months into my discovery, working toward an official diagnosis, and the signal to noise ratio in the autism content is very high. It's either treating each video like it's the first one and 50% is just the same opening, or they are worried about being misunderstood that they drill down pin all the details and tangents that the point is never addressed, or they are selling a book or course.
This video is clearly laid out, each point is clear and concise, no extra information on the off chance it will clear up a potential confusion.
Bravo
I just want to say this video IS AMAZING! Great structure and explanations!
Okay now I will share some of my experiences.
For 1. I hate unexpected visits or interactions. So one time one of my friends came over unexpectedly to give me a gift for my birthday. I felt bad that I went into fight or flight and shutdown until he left.
Now for some other ones are when someone enters my room without nocking or doing that and coming in makes me upset and a little angry but I usually hide it and rush them out.
Now sensory is weird for me as i feel like it changes everyday. Like today the toast had less taste and more texture which was upsetting and made me nauseous. Toast is usually a safe food for me.
Then people clapping or yelling in a high pitched voice hurts and is really annoying when I’m trying to focus. Then other loud noises are overwhelming and trigger fight or flight sometimes. Fire alarms are both overwhelming painful and trigger my fight or flight.
Now for eye contact. People that know me well would say I have good eye contact and it’s true about the people I know and trust but when it comes to strangers people I don’t trust it can be very uncomfortable and sometimes triggering fight or flight if I have to maintain it.
Then facial expressions. I’m pretty good at them and don’t really worry about them with people I know but if I get anxiety it all goes away. Then this brings up my next thing.
My anxiety changes my sensory processing. When ever I’m stressed or under anxiety my sensory issues become amplified. I can handle places like malls or grocery stores if I know what we or I are doing and what we will be doing the entire time. The more that is off the worse it becomes. So not finding an item will start to make it worse.
But even if all goes well I will feel tiered even if I enjoyed it. I just need a little time alone in a safe space to just reset.
OK, I'm new to the idea that I may be autistic, and so far I've consistently "scored" over 50% on almost every trait list I've checked out. This list, though, had me saying things like "YES!", "Absolutely me!", and "WOW!" at every turn. I'm having a hard time writing this because I feel excited and petrified at the same time. Recently (2 and 3 days ago respectively)my bff and my only living sibling told me that they don't think I'm autistic. I know that they both are basing their ideas of autism on old info so I understand why they think like they do about it. Regardless, I also feel completely alone in this now. I'm just grateful to have found this page, and others like it, where I can continue my research. I'm not looking for an official diagnosis, just a deeper understanding of myself and tools to help me thrive as much as is possible. Thank you for listening and for being here in the first place! ❤
Hi Stacey! Thanks for watching the video and sharing your thoughts and feelings.
It’s so common for us adults, especially late diagnosed, to feel isolated and misunderstood. When my wife first introduced the idea that I might be autistic, I resisted. In my mind, there was no way I could be autistic. It took two psychiatrists to diagnose me before I would allow myself to open my mind up. Sometimes, people don’t fully understand asd or they have outdated ideas and perspectives. What we can do is continue to learn about ourselves and autism. Everyone will have their opinions about whether you may be autistic or why you aren’t. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to discover.
As lonely as this journey might feel to you now, you should know that there are many others just like you, navigating this same road of discovery. Many of us are going through a roller coaster of emotions as we start to uncover who we are and always have been! The important thing to know is you are never alone. There’s so many wonderful people out there willing to share their stories, listen to yours, and be supportive. If you ever need someone to reach out to, you are always welcome to email me and my wife Debby. Thanks for being here.
@@ChrisandDebby I really want to thank you, not only for your kind and inspiring words, but also your invite. I really am (possibly) late diagnosed... I'm 65 and this all came up in the past 2 or 3 months when both my mental health counselor and the gal that does my prescriptions mentioned it to me within a matter of days of each other. That is when I decided to start researching the possibility. Though there are traits that don't fit me (in my current understanding), there are others that fit like a glove (executive functioning in particular... a mind-blowing revelation for me), which is a fairly common thing I guess. I discovered that I am a Highly Sensitive Person a few years back and that fits me well, but autism seems to be filling in some of the gaps in "why I am the way I am". So I will continue this journey and see where it leads. Again, I can't thank you enough for your response. I already feel less alone!
You don't need it diagnosed unless you think it really hurts you.
Oh, you're going through what I went through... It was about 2 solid weeks of non-stop research...
And a FLOOD of memories from my all different ages over my 50 years like,
"...OHHHHH, THAT'S what was going on...!!!”
"THAT'S why I did that!!!"
"That's me... "
"That's me..."
" That's me..."
@@ChrisandDebbyI just now read your reply... didn't even know you did. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, it really does mean the world to me!
I feel this so deeply. I was only just diagnosed this week at 49, and now so many things are making sense! It's overwhelming and it makes me have waves of relief or crying. I have always been so stressed when friends call or drop by, or invite someone else to a situation. I always stop and stare at flowers and the light hitting the wall a certain way. I get lost in ants on a leaf and wave at the moon in the sky. I always thought it was just because I was an artist. Also you mentioned that we can be OVER sensitive to facial expressions, and that is me all day. I'm sometimes hyper-aware of nuances and changes, whereas if I'm on one of my never ending rants about something I may sort of just blank out the faces of whoever the unfortunate listener may be. Sometimes I'll have a voice in the back of my head that is trying to tell me "You're doing it again. You're oversharing and talking to much" but the other part of my brain is just like "That's not going to stop us from telling them everything we know and think about everything we have ever thought to know" Anyway, this was a really great video for me, thank you. I apprecioate it so much.
❤
as soon as you brought up the first sign and what you started to feel like when you walked into the restaurant to see your friend, I absolutely knew that at the end you were going to say that he had brought someone unannounced. I know exactly that feeling, and I think meeting someone new is an example of an extreme disruption to me, but that feeling also happens with more minor things on a daily basis.
Before watching this video, my wife had no idea how much this kind of thing bothered me. Now she’s replaying past meetups in her mind and feeling guilty. Of course it’s not her fault at all, but it is challenging when you have issues that disrupt your life and most people don’t understand why.
What else would it have been? Him eating with his feet?
@@auralplexwell I didn’t know where he was going with that story. But then I don’t usually get things like that until they have been explained. JS
You have just described my life, down to the smallest detail.. I have always felt that I was different from the time I was a child.. I am not diagnosed. as a child I only had 1 playmate and she made movements with her hands in front of her body and she only ate rye bread with chocolate spread. I loved my playmate because we understood each other on a level that I have never experienced with anyone else. I had no friends at school and was only with my playmate or my cousins. One of my cousins always told me when we were kids that I was weird to watch movies with. when my dad fixed the toilet or something with a sewer, I panicked so much that I ended up lying on the floor screaming-
I don't speak much even then as an adult, because I can't get the words out as I think them. I have taken some tests and they are all in the autism spectrum, so yes, maybe. Love to watch your videos
Listening to small talk makes me nauseous and dizzy. And the worst instances have been when I was dealing with actual illness, like a low fever, congestion, etc., and then some extroverted overwhelming type of personality who doesn't know how to think except for verbalizing it to others and at the same time subtly demanding validation starts orating to me on all the ways he knows how to keep from ever getting ill, and I'm standing there trying to listen politely while my gut feels like it's sinking down through my legs through the floor down, down, down into a bottomless abyss, dragging my soul along with it, and my whole body is screaming to just collapse in a heap, and all because this voice is relentlessly pounding its demands (listen to this, assimilate this, validate I'm right, be excited about what I'm telling you, perform for me!) into my psyche. Horrible. He meant well, but he was TORTURING me. And I couldn't comprehend then why this was sooooo horrible for me. It seems nuts, irrational to react that way. But it's so clear now. Soooo much is clear now.
Did you notice how long your second sentence is? LOL I love it!
@@scruffypupper Yes, it was one of my daring choices. 😄 Long sentence to convey the long, slow descent into madness!
This was one of the best descriptions of autism I've ever heard. My grandson and life partner are both autistic. Excellent! Thank you ❤
Chris, you and Debby are awesome. This has to be your best video ever. You hit all 6 nails with a sledgehammer. You described me in perfect detail. The “small talk” is killer. I’m happy to talk if there’s a point to it, but if we’re exchanging pleasantries, I just want to tear my hair out! I doubt whoever asks me how I’m doing actually wants to know that answer, so just get to the point!
I was in a store to buy clothes. Took my items to checkout. Lady ahead of me is yammering with a slower-than-Methuselah checker. Minutes drag. I finally interrupted, politely pointed out if she would stop talking so much maybe the checker would move faster. Other people are waiting.” Of course, she was affronted: “it’s people like you who make life miserable for everyone else!” To which I reply: “I’m sure it’s less miserable than you’re making mine. I have an elderly, disabled relative waiting in the car and it’s hotter than Hades outside. There are more important things happening in life than you standing here exchanging nonsensical chit-chat with someone who won’t remember your face after she says “have a nice day!”.
She continued to grumble so I walked off, leaving my cart with clothing for someone to put away and left the store. They thought I was just being impatient. But my blood pressure shot up, my face was burning, my head was buzzing, my body was shaking, I was close to tears. Why? Because these so-called ‘normal’ people make life more complicated than it has to be, often with no other point than making themselves feel good that they’ve brightened a checkers day and feel they’ve taken the moral high-road over an annoying customer that dared to point out OTHER PEOPLE MATTER! (sorry, I don’t just recall events, I seem to relive them)
BTW, is it safe to say that “normal” also exists on a spectrum, so that fundamentally, we’re all interwoven on the same spectrum?
I know what you mean! And if we don’t do small talk for any reason we’re often labeled rude, stuck-up, shy, or introverted when it could be neither of those. I’ve often been labeled shy or introverted when I usually don’t feel that way, just…autistic.
@@caseyjc5 Gotta love those labels, huh? It generally doesn't bother me too much now because I think the same things about their inanne chatter, a 'nothing burger'-- literally nothing, no meat between the dry flapping buns. I'm sure they mistake my wide-eyed, glazed stare for rapt attention... ;-) It's ok if you're introverted--you got more interesting company inside your head than out there.
I just shut conversations down like just today someone said “hi how are you doing today” and I just said “hi” and awkwardly stared at them😅
The reason for all the medical issues is connective tissue disorders like hEDS, hypermobility, autonomic dysfunction, POTS, MCAS etc. which are extremely common comorbidities in those with neurodivergent or ASD/ADHD brains.
This was fantastic! Thank you for creating this video. I am not diagnosed professionally but I've suspected it for many years, and the online tests I have taken (and I've taken them many times) tell me I'm on the spectrum. And yet I constantly doubt whether it's true. Every one of these points that you went through was something I experience in some way. This was a great help for me.
I identified with ALL of these but the doorbell one...I'm like those cartoon cats that cling terrified to ceilings whenever the doorbell or a knock happens. I'm also the person with do not disturb and please don't knock or ring, etc. signs all over the door and porch. Phone is also only on silent.
Same and I'm not autistic. I know lots of people who are the same, we are introverts.
Same -
Doorbell rings - I have a full on panic attack .
My phone is always on silent.
Yeah, unexpected things are tge worst, and doorbells ate loud ontop
@@Clleonieits more an anxiety then introvert thing, or well and autistic trait.
I thought I was an introvert but after realising I was autistic I also realised I am an autistic extrovert.
Introvert is more not wanting to have to engage and finding it taxing, but if a doorbell does not have you think, oh no, I do not want to engage, but like really strong anxiety, panic, or intense irritation, ... Thats not just introversion anymore.
@@SingingSealRiana no. I work with people who have autism, stop playing down the diagnosis. Why is everyone so desperate to have something these days.
#3 is fun when you meet another unwitting neurodivergent person. I used to work in a lab and my 60 y/o white male coworker whom everyone finds insufferable became one of my best buds because I realized he just wanted to talk about his special interests and hear mine. He wasn't about the small talk, he was too grumpy to mask or pretend he cared about things he didn't, but he always wanted to pick our brains and talk about the deeper meanings of life. His special interests were film, media, comedy, and conveniently, the science of the work we did. I'm pretty sure my supervisor is neurodivergent as well so the 3 of us chatting was always an unhinged hoot
Sometimes it's hard to see certain traits in yourself based on just a "category," or checklist. These examples are SO HELPFUL! Thank you!!! (I really believe I am on the spectrum, but I've also been through a lot of trauma, and believe I have ADHD as well - so it's hard to differentiate).
Thank you for using such everyday, realistic examples. It's been hard for me to know what the asd characteristics look like in real life
Very very good video. I`m not diagnosed but have been suspecting I`m on the spectrum for about a year now. It started with my son showing signs that I started looking into it. When I talked to my dad about it he actually told me he was diagnosed about 2 years before after many years of burnout. He just hadn`t shared it with us yet. My son also is not diagnosed yet, he is 6 and eventhou it is very clear he is different from children his age for many different reasons. There still doesn`t seem to be a need to diagnose him, because he himself is not bothered by any of the things that are different about him.
As you gave your first example as soon as you said the situation happened when you walked in to the place, I knew there was someone else there with your friend. Everything you said afterwards about that situation I could have said word for word as a personal experience. The doorbell is much the same for me. A rush of stress goes through my body when I hear the bell when I did not expect it. I do pick up the phone thou, but do feel very anxious during a phonecall.
Smalltalk? yeah no thank you. I either avoid it, or when I can`t it takes up a lot of energy because I have to fake it.
Special Interests: I don`t currently have a long term special interest. But I do have a lot of short term fixations. Especially when I need/want to buy a new laptop, car, phone for example. I will research constantly, and I forget about my work and just do some more research. I also want to talk about it all the time. It will fade as soon as I have bought the thing. In the past I did have long term special interests thou, just not currently.
Sensory: Not so much in term of sunlight etc. But I am very sensitive to someone, anyone, touching my face with their hands. Even my wife. For people I don`t know this extends to any touch at all, unless it is a handshake. Sound also has equal attention in a lot of situations. And I have recently figured out that certain shades of blue really relax me. I never noticed that in the past.
Eye contact is hell, but I can force myself to do it. It does take away from my attention to the conversation because I constantly have to think about doing it. The hyperfocus on one specific thing in someone's face also sounds familiar.
I don`t think I will get an official diagnosis because to me, if my son does happen to get it down the road there is little reason to suspect I`m not autistic when I recognise all these things in myself. There is very little my diagnosis will give me that I can`t give myself. My wife also is pretty convinced we both are and generally understands us very well.
Thank you for this video, it was a good watch.
I feel like the most relatable thing for all of us with asd is the surprises when I comes to FOOD 😭 when I walk into a restaurant that has foods I know I like, just to find out their MENU CHANGED 😭 omg. It’s so bad and it’s so embarrassing. I used to think I would grow out of it, but I’m 22 and I still can’t help but bawl my eyes out when it happens. Or if I just don’t see any safe foods in general. Or if I order what I THINK is a safe food but then it turns out to taste different than I expected. Ugh. I have to go to the bathroom to cry and have a panic attack and then regain my composure to go back out into the restaurant but it 100% ruins my entire day.
Costco stopped carrying my dried mangoes recently and I can’t cope.
The only thing I don't really have a problem with, is small talk. For me, it's a great starting pad to delve into deeper topics immediately. Granted I usually take control over those situations and quickly steer them into a topic I am knowledgeable about, and rope them in too. It's just a social game that I actively tried to get decently good at and it worked wonders for adult life and professional relationships.
The closest things to an authentic autistic special interest are my interests in ragtime, cartoons (be they comic strips, comic books, or animated) and early sound recording. If I'm not careful, I'll end up talking about any of those for twenty minutes before I realize what I've done, or the poor person I'm talking to flees.
I actually ended up in tears when you talked about jumping through the roof when faced with an unplanned interruption. For me it's actually worse, since people with cerebral palsy have an ingrained startle reflex anyway. It's almost like being hit with a sudden electric shock, and I'm usually angry and disoriented for some time afterward.
I cried because I remembered how my parents used to yell at me for jumping every single time they spoke to me and I wasn't anticipating it. It's like they considered it insulting, since I seemingly acted as if I were about to be beaten (their words).
Ragtime is very much cool and cartoons are fun. They are not weird at all. How is loving Ragtime any different than loving Classical music? Those folks go about about classical all the time. Lots of people love cartoons, comics, anime, etc. None of your interests are weird. And everyone loves to talk about what interests them. I love older cartoons and have a knack for knowing their theme songs (Super Chicken, anyone?). I know a lot more about Victorian underwear than most people from being part of a Victorian group and finding all the unders interesting. So what?
As a person with special interests like colour (how additive and subtractive colours function, how paint is made, colour theory and relation), and funeral rituals (including embalming), and knowing every single thing there is to know about animals, I really felt your third point 😂 Also, small talk is the *worst*
As if I were describing myself (like in many other comments).
Congratulations on the way you speak and explain things. The issues you approached are also quite different from what most videos usually approach. Fantastic job. You've got a new fan.
That’s great news! I really appreciate the feedback! It really does mean a lot. Sometimes it’s hard sharing so much personal information and organizing my information, but the amazing community of people I get to interact with (folks just like you!) make it all worth while.
@@ChrisandDebby Thank you very much indeed for replying. Warmest regards from Brazil! (I'm a 50-year-old Aspie teacher. Asperger's has been "a dear friend of mine" career-wise.)
Keep up with the brilliant videos!
I related to everything in this video!!! I had literally every issue you named at the end as well, and bad allergies. I purposely go to all doctors within the same organization thinking that they’d work together to piece the puzzle together, but they don’t. They are all just interested in their little niche. Some barely even look at you or listen to you. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety with panic, agoraphobia, and PTSD. I’ve asked to be tested at least for adhd because the medications I’m on aren’t working (and I’ve taken so many at this point) and I feel they’re making me worse. I have pretty much been ignored and one doctor even laughed and said “everyone thinks they’re a little adhd.” I need to find a psychiatrist who specializes in adhd and autism. My WHOLE life would make SO much more sense. But now I’m 51, and think that getting a diagnosis will be more difficult. Unfortunately, girls and women are really good at masking most of the time, and I’ve done it my whole life. And I’m really noticing now because as I get older it’s harder and harder to mask bc it takes so much energy. I’ve burned out multiple times and as I get older it takes less to get me to that point and longer and longer to recover. It’s so frustrating to say the least!!! It’s kind of heartbreaking to think that if only someone noticed, my life wouldn’t have been, and wouldn’t continue to be so hard.
I laughed listening to some of this. I absolutely -cannot stand- uninvited house guests. There are certain houseguests that cause me extreme anger and frustration and I spend all my time building up anger and getting sick before they come over. I talk to basically no one unless I have something to say, because I cannot stand small talk. I try to force myself, but I can't even pretend to be interested... and then they think I hate them. My major special interest is horses... but I also love tenpin bowling, archery, paint pouring and binge watching/reading info about the latest thing that interests me lol. I definitely have food and noise aversions! I'm terrified of thunder storms and fireworks. I definitely have food textural issues as well. Can't stand eye contact. Can kinda do it, but I feel like i'm staring into their soul and not really listening. I also have 20 million health conditions, including the ones above. I am not diagnosed with Autism though. I would love to have it checked out.
Thank you so, so much for this video. I'm being under a series of interviews with a psychologist, to see if I'm autistic or not. I'm 46 and I've always felt different from the rest of the people in my life. I identify with most of what you describe here... Have a nice life, greetings from Argentina 🇦🇷❤️
Omg, I thought only my sister was "allergic" to sun and sneeze when exposed to sunlight:D I myself am not, but I get nauseous when seeing flashing lights, not every one, but a very specific pattern that instantly makes me almost passed out and nauseous👌
Thank you for sharing, I'm not diagnosed but the more and more I learn about it the more I think I am also on the spectrum.
OMG Thank you. I am autistic, but imposter syndrome gets me sometimes... Videos like this one.... makes me so happy.
I had a funny thought about experiencing smells - I spent a lot of time in India, where it’s relatively common to burn waste/garbage to keep warm in cold weather (at least where I was). And now that I’m back in the US, periodically when I smell like burning garbage? I get all whistful and really stop to enjoy the WHOLE experience of the smell. Of burning garbage.
My dad grew up on a farm and feels happy and nostalgic when he smells manure. Haha. So, I can see that. I liked the smells of India too.
I batted 1000 on the bonus round. I have had all of these symptoms. My nerves rule my body and mind. I had diarrhea the entire year of 2020. I had a whole battery of tests and nothing was found wrong. I have a fantastic new doctor who listens and gets me help. I’m 82 and finally I’m getting answers.
I am 61 year old, self-diagnosed female. I don't believe a professional diagnosis is worth the financial pain of it, so I opted for online testing and scored so highly on all the AI exams that there is no doubt I am textbook. That is good enough for me. And Wow! I couldn't believe the list of medical issues that you put on the slide matched mine. I have had neurologic issues related to neurodivergence for my entire life. When I had a complete overload of stress in 2017, I seemed to tip into the dysautonomia problems really bad and doctors could not figure out what was wrong. I had every dysautonomia symptom in the book and the symptoms I had were very miserable. The doctors can't possibly put our puzzle together because like you said, they do not communicate and there really are no such people as "Diagnosticians" anymore. I do wish that doctors would educate themselves on ASD. It is sad for people like us because of the physical suffering and the shame of being told there is nothing wrong with you when you know damn well there is. I am pretty sure I have a typical and common set of symptoms that could easily be gathered by knowing how to look at the whole being versus just seeing people like me for a single, specialized ailment. A simple ASD screening test would be awesome! In addition to the physical history of the patient that we fill out for appointments, the doctor could offer a subset of questions with common ASD symptoms on it as part of that pre-exam, maybe there could be a fast track to a proper diagnosis instead of the never ending revolving doors leading to specialists, and then leading back to nowhere. Very frustrated with that. If every doctor had to learn in medical school about as these symptoms as part of a bigger, ASD could be treated as part of the whole person and the whole picture. I make sure that every doctor I see gets not only my self-diagnosis of ASD, but also, I try and impart some text book, typical information about us as a whole so that they may understand others like me much better. Thank you for making the video. It's a good one.
Self diagnosis is never good. Unless you just want to be autistic, thats cool.
This video made me lean to the idea that actually just have ADHD. You explained really well what goes on in your head. I care about some stuff but it doesn't cause me to sweat THAT much about it.
Adhd pretty much explains a lot of my differentness, if not all
This really helped me understand some things. Especially the BONUS sign. I have all but one of those issues. Yikes! Okay, better go advocate for myself! Thanks for this post. Really.
Heyo, thank you so much for this because I've been struggling trying to figure this out. from the internet reels constantly bringing up autism/neurodivergent videos in my algorithm to me telling my therapists about all the boxes I check off and her dismissing me telling me I'm not autistic. I have bipolar II along with a general anxiety disorder, mild OCD, and Motor Tics (which is a form of Tourette's). You can be autistic and have all the other things I have already, it's been proven. (I'm also a psych major lol) Besides everything you talked about in this video I also check off the boxes for missing important social cues, being hypersensitive, or having "too much empathy" (which I know it's sometimes more common to have a lack of empathy), how I can follow certain routines that aren't made by me but for the life of me cannot stay on a routine I make myself lol, etc. There are sooo many boxes I check off and I finally feel validated by this video. I'm looking to get tested (which tbh I'm really unsure of how to go about that and it's stressful because my therapist says since she thinks I'm self-diagnosing and trying to put a label on myself that I don't have, she didn't see the point in giving me resources 🤦🏽♀) and I've been burnt out on looking but this video popping up in my recommended got my drive back so thank you, i really appreciate you!
Wow, this might be the best explanation I've seen. Brilliantly done!
I was diagnosed with ADD as a teen, but I can relate to many of these, especially #1 (don't ring my bell or call me! LOL) and all of the unexplained medical issues.
My daughter reacted similarly to the sun due to a genetic niacin deficiency. Niacin cured her sun sensitivity and rashes, and one dose will take her anxiety away within minutes.
I wonder if you might actually be AuDHD…
@@ChrisandDebby Yes, I’ve wondered, too. 😊 The online autism tests say maybe or not likely, but I definitely fit the BAP (Broader Autistic Phenotype).
@@ChrisandDebby I have a very similar thing. In a teen now and was recently diagnosed with ADD but I was recommended an autism evaluation by a family member and I relate to a lot of things. The only problem is I can vividly remember special interests I had as kids but they all stopped when I was bullied. I also jump around but during the time I’m really into something oof an interest it’s all I’ll talk about for a week to a month and then it will change and I’ll come back to that but idk if that’s the ADD clashing and I relate to everything else.
Has anyone here felt comforted by a particular style of light (not in the sense of warm versus cool)? At work sometimes I work on a scratched up, but reflective metal tray, and the murky light reflecting up at me is actually very soothing to me for whatever reason.
Imagine my horror, when my former partner threw me a surprise birthday party. Came home to a house full of people. All wanting to socialize. And me with no opportunity to prepare.
Imagine all those people happy to be there and see you and socialize... it sounds like a challenge for you and them really.
Are you sure that it wasn't an intervention?
@@goombah226 yes I’m sure
Me warning all my ex’s early in the dating stage to NEVER throw me one 🥲!
I just don’t do that kind of thing, my friends know not to. They know me well and know I would hate it. But I would just escape to a room alone and ignore the party and people regardless of what they might think of me. I’m tired of trying to appear “ normal” to others.
Although I've never been tested, I honestly believe that I am on the spectrum. I've had all these symptoms my entire life. Fortunately, I'm able to function with some normalcy.
The thing that hurts the most is people who underestimate/diminish our daily struggles. It's not just physical. It's not just mental. It's not just emotional or psychological. It's all these things combined. It's like being abducted by your own thoughts, thrown into a dark box, and trying to break out before you lose consciousness. It's a living nightmare. People who don't suffer from anxiety will never know just how frightening it is or how courageous we are to keep fighting our own mental weakness. ❤
When I was a nurse and had to smell rotting flesh,,,,it was YEARS later I would suddenly smell it again! I could not forget that smell! I left nursing. Too many foul smells and beeping machines, and fluorescent lights! I was diagnosed in my 40’s after going to therapy for chronic anxiety and depression. It sure explained why I was always called “Weird.” I got a hypochondria diagnosis by a dr once, it turned out to be MS. My therapist insisted I was not and to go see a neurologist. I was having severe migraines. The brain scan showed MS. Going to a therapist was the best thing I ever did for myself.
You explained these signs so well and I can 100% relate to all of them. I'm 26 and my parents have been suspecting me being autistic since I was a little child. I never got the diagnosis cause I've always been misunderstood. Now that I'm living in a different city, I will go and have it checked out again. Hopefully I will be taken seriously this time! Thank you for the great video! 😄
I was feeling imposter syndrome and this video helped me. Thank you
This is far too common with us! If you haven’t been diagnosed and you have the opportunity, I’d recommend it.
I recently got a primary physician. Something I've avoided my whole adult life, mostly because I didn't care whether I continued to exist or not. I got the same reaction you described when I questioned about heart palpitations and irregularities I've been noticing. When I was at the office everything was fine blood pressure, pulse etc. Just setting the appointment and getting myself to go was hard enough. I promised myself I'd do this for my parent's sake. Caring enough about myself to keep probing is daunting.
At first I thought I only had misophonia (aversion to certain sounds). Sounds like rain, water and wet sounds in general, as well as chalkboard and the way some people clean their nose make me cringe so hard I'd have to cover my ears. Then later on I realised I not only had audio sensitivity, instead I have sensitivity with all senses, mainly with touch and hearing. But I also have sensitivity to certain smells and I'm a picky eater to an absurd degree, in fact I used to go to the hospital a lot because I'd get anaemia because of my bad eating habits.
On top of that, I've had tics since my childhood. Everyone would tell me I'd eventually "grow out of it", but now I'm an adult and I still have very annoying tics (both motor as well as vocal ones).
To be fair if I came accross someone sneezefarting I think I'd love them for making my day a little brighter. I'm a firm believer in 'it's only embarrassing if you qct like you're embarrassed'. Most stuff you can just ... 'own it'.
This was great information. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but seem to have all of the traits. I am actually older, but could never figure out why I was different and thought differently until I started exploring autism spectrum traits with other adults. The interesting element is that I work well with autistic children and understand their unique perspectives on the world. I just thought that I was empathetic, but now realize I am like them. You are wonderful. Thank You!😊
I wasn't diagnosed till 50+ years of age. Many of us r diagnosed late.
I've been searching this for a while because I've always had this feeling that something is not wrong but different about me and I cannot fit in no matter what I do. I even cried for a whole day on the first day of my job after I got home. I am a teacher and I'm pretty good at my job now but when I first started I just said "why is everything so hard for me?" because I was crying about things that did not even matter to other people. How come people just wing everything and call it a day? Here I am, planning everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Lessons have lessons plans, yes, but I have plan Bs, Cs and Ds for my lesson plans, activities, even for things I'd say. And mind you, a classroom environment is unpredictable. People are unpredictable and it's 8 different classes full of teeangers and kids. You cannot plan everything. And I started having panic attacks again because of the job at the beginning. I'm better now, but I realized a lot of things.
1. I hate unpredictability and surprises. I want to be prepared and have planned for every situation.
2. I crave routines. I've always got so anxious when my friends decided to arrange a meeting out of the blue and I still get nervous all day and can't focus on anything until the meeting time if a meeting I have today is later the day. I also cannot tolerate larger changes in my life such as changing a city, starting a new job/career, having new people in my life etc.
3. I really hate loud noises. I remember my childhood friend had once commented on this. We were listening to some music out loud and it was very loud. I remember feeling anxious and telling her to turn it down a little bit. She said "I realized that you really don't like loud noises." I am also very soft spoken, my students say they love my voice for how soothing it is. I don't like speaking very loudly either.
4. I cannot stand bright light and white light. I always use dim yellow light and never use the ceiling light. White light makes me nervous. 5. I literally cannot believe about the morning light sneeze thing because I've just heard of that for the first time. Every morning, regardless of polens, seasons, perfume or humidity I get a sneeze attack that lasts half and hour every morning when I wake up. I've had allergy tests and I have no allergies. If I had an allergy to something at home, I'd be having that reaction all the time. No, it's just the mornings as soon as I wake up.
5. I don't know what I'm feeling most of the time and I can't tell what people are feeling / can't read facial expressions. This makes my job ans relationships really harder. I always listen to everyone and decide to have an external view of a particular person by listening to what other people say about them, piling up that info and comparing it with the vibes I got from their personality and expressions. A lot of times the people I thought were mocking me or cold at me turn out just to be normal. I keep reading them wrong.
6. I hate small talk. I can get along very well with strangers and when I do, I've realized that I don't linger on small talk just jump into deeper topics and people actually like that. So it works for me. But I get really weird during small talk, especially if the other person cannot properly lead the conversation for me. I rely on them during the small talk. But during a normal or deeper talk, I can talk for hours to an end about things I like and my special interests. Which is weird because I am much silent most of the time because I don't like talking nonsense and I don't like small regular talk. So people get appalled when I suddenly talk for hours in a very excited manner.
There are many others things I realized for some time, but these are the things I can remember now. What should I do? Do I get a diagnosis? I'm in Turkey, who should I go to in order to get a diagnosis? A psyhologist, a psychiatrist or a therapist? Even if I get one, what does it serve? I'm also scared that employers look for reasons to fire employees and this kind of a disability (sorry if it's not appropriate, idk what to call it feel free to correct me) can very well be a reason to get fired from such a social job. I'm feeling kinda burnt out at times from trying so hard to read people, plan things, and also look normal. I usually have a stoic or resting bitch face. Sometimes people find it weird. So I mask it all the time. It very well may be autistic masking as I've seen so far. I just know that labeling something doesn't make it go away. Even if I get a diagnosis, I wouldn't be able to say it to other people because they would pity me or see me as a lesser human being. Yes, they would because it is how it is here in Turkey. People are either afraid of mental illnesses and conditions or pity them. It is a big stigma here. I really don't know what to do.
Edit: oh and also the sounds getting equal attention thing! We used to have very noisy neighbors and they would start making very loud noises after midnight about 10 years ago. It would irritate me so much I would bang on the ceiling, cry desperately and literally wanted to kill myself because of it. My mom used to say just ignore it and she would sleep well but I couldn't sleep for hours unless they stopped making noises. I still cannot discern sounds around me, I try so hard to hear my students. I can't understand and acknowledge what a student next to me is saying to me if another student at the back of the class is talking to his friend. I have no filter on that aspect. I get really tired and get headaches from trying to focus on all that noise, trying to wear a mask, be nice, do my job according to plan and deal with unpredictable problems in the classroom.
I also hate hospitals for their smells. I also cannot stand even the slightest of bad mouth breath and sweat. I ended some friendships because of this. But I also really like the way some people smell and I just want to stop and smell and physically experience them.
So much of what you wrote was very similar for me, especially when I was a full time teacher and later administrator. I love being in schools but the noise levels and all the sudden changes and adjustments to routines and basically everything you mentioned made it really hard too. When you’re also having sleep issues, it can feel so horrible every day, so it’s hard in a way that non-autistics might not always understand. Sleep is also hard for many autistics (myself included) so jobs like teaching can be challenging due to the schedules, but also hard to find the ideal balance.
I don’t know a lot specifically about Turkey for this topic (would love to visit someday though) but the stigma is very similar in Asia but slowly improving. You are right that a formal diagnosis won’t really change much - no medicine to take that changes things (but some medications can help with certain symptoms, if needed), and also a lot of the world just isn’t designed well for autistic brains. But if you can understand yourself better, what you need, when you need breaks, etc - life can improve a lot. It doesn’t mean it’s easy but it can be easier to give yourself time and space to heal and recover when you need to, rather than trying to keep pushing and burn yourself out.
Thanks for sharing your experiences - it’s challenging but also helpful for more people to understand what it really means to be autistic. There is so much we need to do on a daily basis that goes against our neurology, and hopefully things can improve gradually for understanding and also lead to improvements in general for autistics. That’s our goal here too!
God, I feel you. I taught English in Korea for a year and felt completely overwhelmed all the time because I just couldn't wing it the way everyone else could. I had hardly any time for myself at all because I was constantly behind and couldn't get my planning done within work hours. And I couldn't accept doing the minimum, because I wanted my students to like me and enjoy my lessons, but couldn't simply rely on being a fun, outgoing, animated person. I'm diagnosed ADHD, not ASD, but I strongly suspect I have both.
When I left the country I didn't even meet with any friends to say goodbye. I've told myself that it's because I didn't like them much, but the truth is, it kind of just...didn't occur to me until later...
All three of my children were diagnosed with autism, and I was surprised because two of them had so much in common with me and the things I struggled with as a child and today too.
I am a middle school special education teacher and I have a 7th grade student who is an enigma to me. She hates talking, told me she doesn’t get jokes when I told her one, has no friends, never says hi to anyone, works constantly (which I think is an escape mechanism to avoid people). Acts like she is going to cry if she has to talk in front of people, talks softly and covers her mouth when she talks, has had foot and back problems and also has an ADHD diagnosis but isn’t hyper at all. She loves drawing and really lacks empathy for others. My brother is autistic so I know what it looks like and I am starting to think this girl may be AU. I’m not even sure how to proceed because I am not a professional. She is my favorite kid and I want to do right by her and get her help if she needs it. I want to see her happy and have friends and to giggle and have fun like other kids her age. I want her to feel included. She enjoys the company of adults more than her peers and want her to have fun with friends. I hope I can do something for this wonderful child but am at somewhat of a loss. How do I broach the subject with my teaching team and admin or even her parents? God give me wisdom…
Hi, coming from a person with a similar childhood. I always wanted to
Be included, but never was as a child. If you are close with her, become a mentor to the child. I’m sure she will appreciate that. Best of luck to you ❤
Oof if only I had had a teacher like you
@@marielb4720 yes mentorship is probably the best thing that may happen to her, better than a therapist. At least for one year she will blossom (lived experience), she maybe just needs a life buoy
I’m in the UK. I did a bunch of on line quizzes to see if I was autistic and always come out in the top half, ie strong possibility I am autistic. I have a lot of those health issues you mentioned at the end, and relate to all the other 5 things you described. I asked my GP to see if I could be tested for autism and she gave me a bunch of forms to fill in and a bunch for someone who knows me well. A lot of the questions on the form sadly don’t seem to relate to the online quiz questions or the subjects you and other autistic people have brought up. They were more like ‘Do I rock back and forth?’ ‘Do I know how to keep myself clean and do I know what right clothes to wear for the weather?’ I hate surprises, I hate birthdays and Christmas, not because I am stingy, but because it is a huge headache what to get folk. I hate folk just turning up and have avoided answering the door. I hate speaking on the phone, I hate small talk and feel very uncomfortable so then I waffle. I have even seen folk I know in the street and if they haven’t seen me, have either turned back, or crossed over to avoid them. I hate certain smells and textures. I obsess over things I like, for example I will watch programmes like Friends or The Big Bang Theory and certain films over and over again. There is so much more, yet a lot of these things are not covered in the autism questionnaire. I would love a diagnosis simply because the people who think they know me, might just understand me better and go easier on me.
Re: Sneezing from sunlight. It's not just you.
I think it is a very interesting video. I can recognize myself in many of this stories, especially in the first story with something not planned happening. I feel a lot of stress when something is not planned happen. If I know something about the person, small talk is kind of easy; just ask questions; people love talking about themselves. Lately, I have been wondering if I have ASD. I like many of the things people with ASD like. I have many interests, like gathering information about topics. Among my three favorite things are a headset with active noise canceling and sunglasses with mirrors. When I was little I had migraines, especially if I had been in the sun. It felt as if my brain crashed because of sensory overload, after a hard restart I was fine for a while. I lost migraine, but got insomnia which I now kind of think of as the grown up response to sensory/feeling overload. I kind of miss the migraines.
I so relate with the sneezing at intense sunlight.
That's not an autistic trait. It happens to lots of people.
@@Clleonie No! If your snout gets tickled by sunlight, that means you're mental! OK!
So much of this I relate to and have done since I was little.
Yes sunlight can make me sneeze too, in fact bright light in general can make me sneeze but worse than that if I don't get away from it, it can five me migraines and eventually I can throw up.
Small talk...I run out of things to say after the weather and it makes me feel uncomfortable but if they want to talk, I can listen for a little while.
Special interests: At the moment it's Beatrix Potter and her art work... Amazing woman, also it's autism itself, ADHD. Also amazing about the orchard interest as I worked for many years as a gardener/horticulturist with a special interest in pruning, particularly pruning roses but later I started to learn about soil science, plant diseases, especially those of the malus genus; both ornamental and domestica and yes I love the smell of scented roses. If they have no scent then really they're not roses as far as I'm concerned.
I could go on because you talked about so much but I won't bore you and I'm sure you have so many comments to read but just know that I find this video so helpful. It further seals why I beed to seek out a diagnosis or not. 👍 Thank you.
Wow! Lilac is my favorite too! I also will STOP and just breathe it in. In the past three years fragrances (colognes, eau de toilettes/parfums) have become a "special interest" (passion) of mine. Okay, 'nuff commenting here. Sorry to monopolize....
I don't know what devilwood is, but have you sniffed heliotrope? I used to open bottles of spices-cloves, vanilla, maple, cinnamon, and sniff them (at home). Then I found a mini crock pot, and pour the spices in water and soon my whole house smells like a bakery. It's bliss.
You’ve got me really interested in heliotrope! I love the smell of sweet and spicy like cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla, etc!
If you love lilac, you gotta try and find devilwood. It’s an amazing smell!
I also love fragrances and have quite a collection of amazing niche colognes. What are some of your favorite fragrances?
@@ChrisandDebby Comme des Garcons Rouge (Beets and Frankincense!); CdG Marseille (amazing soap scent); Oriza L. LeGrand Chypre Mousse (forest soil, dead leaves, mushrooms, moss, stunning); Amouage Jubilation XXV and Beach Hut Man; Guerlain Heritage and Vetiver; Dior Eau Sauvage Parfum (note, not Sauvage!); Hermes L'Ombre des Merveilles, Un Jardin a Cythere, and the Terre d'Hermes line; Lalique Encre Noire Sport; Cartier Declaration EDT, Houbigant Fougere Royale; Lancome Hypnose for Men (discontinued ☹); and finally, L'Etat Libre d'Orange 500 Years and Sous Le Pont Mirabeau. No, I'm no Rockefeller, a lot of this stuff I have in tiny sample vials, like the Amouage, Houbigant and L'Etat Libre.
Oh! And how could I forget the BRILLIANT Guerlain L'Homme Ideal Extreme!
Thank you for this and your other videos! There extremely helpful in getting a better understanding of why ‘I have all these strange issues which other people don’t seem to have’.🙏
I'm new and I'm in. Nice brand. I like and agree with all you've said. Thanks.
Thanks for being here!!
Hypersensitive auditory processing disorder/hyperacusis. I believe this is what allows us with this disorder to hear electricity. Listen to tripple layered music. The third song is actually two songs played quietly through both ear pieces. Our brain synchronises this input behind and to below the ear on both sides. Into one noise and then amplifies is to the some volume as the other two songs that play in Lethe left side and right side of our brain. The third song can be hear in the central part of the brain with two earpieces and only one ear and at a lower volume and in a different place in one earpiece of your remove one of them
I’m starting to wonder whether I have autism. But I’m a woman and terrified of immediate dismissals because I can force eye contact and my speech sounds normal. Socially I’m a loner and I never had a real job in my 39 years, but doctors can always point to some random other illness that has some overlap with autistic characteristics and say “it’s not autism, you have [insert anything from the alphabet soup here]”.
I feel that way too, I'm diagnosed with ADHD, but ADHD alone doesn't explain everything. To make matters worse, we still suffer from impostor syndrome, in recent days I have been doubting myself and blaming my hormones, it is very difficult to remain in this doubt and not have a correct diagnosis.
I recently turned 57 in June. I don't need a formal diagnosis...I KNOW I'M ON THE SPECTRUM 100%. Plus ADHD. The reason I'm not going for a "professional diagnosis" is that if I'm met with any skepticism or condescension whilst spending my cash and time(I would have to go for private medical care as I live in Montreal and the public Mental Health care here is USELESS)I would literally "Freak out" on the Mental health care provider. The evidence is my life and the million challenges I've faced while navigating this world with my brain...I REALLY appreciate your videos-Chris and Debby, as you illustrate perfectly that we are ALL different but facing the same kind of challenges ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. Thanks again.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I hit them all! :)
Me too, especially the “bonus” health issues.
Have also struggled with Misophonia my whole life, but constantly told I need to be more tolerant of others 🙄
Yes! On all. Wow, this is blowing me away. I don't like wasting my vocal chords on small talk. Dr. Has no clue on body issues. It all makes sense now. Thank you!
I can do one sentence small talk but get irrationally infuriated by more than the initial greeting, especially with the same person who insists on doing it everytime you see them. I see them, and go out of my way to avoid them 😂
Oh yes!! I know all about avoiding those types!😂😂 I’m actually writing an autistic’s guide to surviving small talk. It’s pretty entertaining. It’ll be a free download and I’ll post links when I’m finished.
@@ChrisandDebby oooh! I shall look forward to it 🤗
Interesting .. I did a monotropism survey .. and the result made sense...i was not much like an autistic person but I also was not much like a neurotypical either .. in kinda of a grey area.. I can relate to autistic experiences with social and communication but not particularly with the sensory aspects.. at the intensity .. I have concluded that I am not sure I would get an ASD diagnosis ( and not spending the $$ to find out) but I definitely have a number of autistic like traits ...that have impacted my life.. am older .. so it's just quite calming to finally realize what these traits are .. am far more relaxed and less confused ....i get it now😀
OMG ... #4 ... YES! I can't exist in a place such as Dave & Busters during dinner on a weekend ... the bright flashing lights, the loud droning sound of everything ... people walking into you since there are so many of them in there ... that cacophony of aural soup that makes your head feel like it will explode, the lights, people slamming into you, people asking you something but you can't understand what they are saying because of that cacophony of noise ... which is getting louder and louder ... people tripping over you, more lights, anxiety builds, the lights the sound the *crunch* get out of there now!
Once again you're video is hitting very close to home. It's nice to understand the why behind the what, up until now has been incomprehensible.
It’s not autism, it’s just life not playing out how you thought it would. Welcome to being alive
Wtf
I just might be doing a little bit better than you though😂
Sounds like a cope from clear signs you're autistic. Faster you embrace it the faster you can start living. I used to been like you when I first heard about autistic. I kept it deep in my heart not telling anyone. My parents knew something was wrong with me, lots of people avoided me from clear signs of being unhinged.
I once even had to quit my amusement park summer job just about a month after it started because my eyes burnt up (even with always wearing sunglasses) so I could barely even open them for 2 weeks and only when it’s dark. Fortunately I got unemployment money and soon after I got my official autism/asperger’s diagnosis for free and easily to get employment services, especially since I honestly told the doctor that I didn’t say my first words until I was 4 and had a hard time socializing especially as a child, along with having hypersensitivity to everything. I think I’m more hypersensitive to smell and taste more than anything else, such as still refusing to eat most vegetables and some fruit like bananas and blueberries. But also can relate to absolutely loving certain other smells and tastes like coffee, bread, chocolate, and even the smell of the beach. My “special interests” have been usually what other girls/women like but to an extreme, such as dolls when I was a kid, celebrities, social media, fashion, and makeup, but sometimes they’re more unusual like conspiracy theories and non-mainstream music including constantly going to different music shows, concerts, and festivals.
Your videos are awesome! My 13 year old daughter has not been diagnosed yet but has all of these signs. Im excited to find your videos and learn how I can help make her life easier and support her super powers :).
I whined about background music previously. Thank you for doing it this way. You made many great points and I got all of them.
I am SO glad to have found your channel!
I (26 years old) got diagnosed with aspergers a couple of weeks ago. I started out pursuing an autism diagnosis because I was fairly certain that I would get it. And now that I have it, I'm struggling with imposter syndrome. I keep watching videos like this one and as soon as there is even one symptom that I don't exhibit, I see it as confirmation that I'm not actually autistic. However, I really appreciate that you remind us that autism is a spectrum and that it can be different from person to person. Though maybe I should really stop watching those videos for now, they aren't helping me in my current state.
6:55
This. Also when people get very high strung venting their life issues. I can feel their anxiety and stress its so weird.
I am 53 and am just now realizing that I may be a high functioning autistic person. I’m so grateful for people like you who are sharing this important information. Otherwise, we would still be stuck with stereotypes (like “Rain Man”) and hence go undiagnosed.
I'm hip to the deep dives. Love the baroque! Ever hear of being color-sensitive? I mean to colors of a room. That's my thing. Also freakin' loudness.
I'm color sensitive. primary colors and neon hurts my eyes.
Your videos are so helpful for me in understanding my newly diagnosed family members.
Omg. I love you for sharing your story! ❤ My husband also sneezes in the intense sunlight
Oh the bonus sign just hits!!!! I have similar experience with you, and people recommended me a lot of different supplements, but all of them gave me negative experience instead of what people experience commonly. My medical issues include gastro (I did my scope two times before I know it is about autism), skin problem and itchiness, bladder, dizziness, vertigo, inflammation (until the extent I suspect myself having HIV and I spent money doing the test), sleep issue, and anxiety (which was the diagnosis of most doctors I have seen and they dismissed me saying I will never be autistic).
Woah the last point. Exactly that, I go from doctor to doctor and nobody can help me and they all say there's nothing wrong or I need to do more, eat healthier, eat less, exercise more, more sleep etc. Thank you. I was so unsure whether I was on the autism spectrum and suddenly it makes so much sense together with adhd. This is exactly the piece of the puzzle that was missing.
Nicely done. My mother told my friend that I have strange ways. She knew I was different in my own way, and yet, I was never diagnosed or evaluated. I never understood why I had so much trouble relating to people and communicating. My interests were odd or too technical about things that gave the other person pause to think he is strange, just like my mother said. Well I still need an official test, but all of the tests I have taken show at 80% positive autistic.
And I thought all of this was normal. Everything you said resonates. I was upset because my friend invited us to a get together and did not tell us old co-workers was going to be there. I get physically sick with the smell of heavy perfume to a point I want to vomit.
So far one of the best videos on the subject.❤
Thanks! Really appreciate it! 🤩
I completely agree, and I am super thankful! Also, your recall of your time teaching really resonated! As an educator, connecting with my colleagues has proven to be a real challenge. For a while, I felt really guilty about it, but as of late, I’ve accepted the fact that the social battery just isn’t there. I also hit the lights and rest at my desk to recharge btw periods. As overstimulating as a classroom full of kids might seem, I like that I can control the environment and the conversation. We’re not talking just to talk, but to learn-to me, that makes a lot of sense. Lol. Also, since communication w students is typically interest- or idea-driven and far less nuanced (Hallelujah!), I typically prefer chatting with them over my coworkers. Did you find that this was the case with you? Are you still in the profession?
Great explanation of the first diagnostic criteria
My word this is definitely what I've experienced so much thank you so much.
Awesome information… thank you!!!
I suspect I'm autistic (finally figuring it out ~ I'm 47 and have been different long as I can remember) and so I've been watching lots of videos and I think this is my favorite so far! Not too fast and not too slow and no annoying things. Thank you!! And I actually paid attention to most of it and actually watched it (I have to play Spider Solitaire when I watch things). And that story totally made me laugh and I haven't really laughed in months. Thank you again!!