I did exactly what you're saying. Do the menial task, pump up their ego, let them take the credit, and got screwed for years. Eventually they got promoted and I got left behind. All this is doing is letting your manager or person above you know they can take advantage of you continuously and you're not going to do anything about it.
Jokeo WAS that manager that everyone hated who would gleefully let them shine his boots and hand over their credit and he probably never looked back… He gets a lot of praise and pats himself on the back, but I respect SEALs and SF operators who don’t talk about it far more than these blow-hards cashing in. A lot of blood soaked boots in a lot of wars paved the way for these guys and a lot of them didn’t even want to talk about it, they just served and shut up about it. I miss that level of stoicism. Now special forces are just full of egomaniacal jackholes who are looking for book deals. Some would call that drive, I would call it glory seeking and those types are never the best and brightest.
Maybe his advice is good in a military context (which I know nothing about), but both I and the companies I've worked in have benefited from me transferring or moving on. A company may not take notice until their good people start hemorrhaging out. You will not win against an articulate sociopathic narcissist and often the best to do is leave. We are all replaceable, so it's not the end of the world for the organization we may be working for. If you have a good manager and never-quit dudes like Jocko then your organization has struck gold. On the other end, I think working well with people you don't like is an excellent trait for a manager. My best managers had terrible bosses in at least one point in their careers and had also raised teenagers.😅
YES! This information might have worked for you about 20, or 30 years ago. But these days, this stuff isn't going to fly; especially with the millennial generation. Millennials, and Gen-Zers will just drop a job, and go find another one. They don't give a shit, and these employers have certainly taken notice.
I agree. I get along with others extremely well. But some people are psychopaths and it's not worth it to work alongside them closely for 5-7 years as he says. When people are manipulative psychopaths, it doesn't matter if you give them credit or keep your ego in check. If they are jealous or threatened of you they will plot to take you down. Plus I think some women are more vicious at this than men so maybe that's why he doesn't understand
This right here is the problem you guys don't listen I'm stuck right in the middle right between his generation and your generation n the problem is your generation it's f****** lazy and refuses to listen to anything from the last generation you don't just quit a job because you don't feel you're advancing fast enough its not the first five months of a job that count it's the first five years change your mentality and maybe you will succeed stop being the victim and stop being a f****** quitter be a man
Or when you can outperform them because you know how to work computers and they don't and you have customer service attitude and they cuss customers out on a whim. The owner doesn't care the place is being run very unprofessional and I'm sick of it.
It's all politics. You can be the best worker and be "too valuable to production". And that fat 💩 who really gets a lot of use out of his kneepads overshadow you, scapegoat you, and then try to powertrip. Then the company not shocked that you quit, but that all that shit you took care of just falls apart. 😲
If you hate your boss my advice is: Have a positive attitude. Be professional. Do your best work possible. Learn as much as you can. Be indispensable. Be the person who gets it done. Meanwhile... Update your resume and carefully, stealth-fully look for a better job. Get that better job. Then enjoy the panicked look on your bad boss’s face when you give your two or three weeks professional notice that you have accepted a new opportunity that was just too good to pass up and that you enjoyed your time working with him or her. This is especially sweet if you were making your bad boss look good. Nothing terrifies a bad manager more then loosing an employee that made them look good and they didn’t have to work hard to manage.
This. Literally my boss always find the slightest thing to criticize me and has never praised me for good work. I really want to quit but I’ve only been there 5 months
There is nothing worse then a entitled employee that puts their ego before their professionalism. They are blind to shortcoming they have and always a flight risk. Many have a mindset that is short term "fast and loose, look at me!" with shallow "quick win" machinations and they tend to earn the "Grind'em til gone" or Corp version of the "pump and down". Either way, they are unhappy because they cannon accept that what they isn't something they can't have. This misalign with expectation, can be one sided or on both. Long term loyal Grinders and job hopper each both have advantages and disadvantages, figure out the balance that what works for you and focus on personal performance and growth, not seif aggrandizing entitlement.
@@jhgosnell from a nurses point of view, doing more extra hours than needed and all the package...pretending is shit. Be real and do the right thing. If that toxic place is not changing into something good change it man. I m in the same place for almost 4 years. Love it! Bot now i have to draw the line and do the math. I have tired but without success. More than that, the ''pretend to be friends with the boss'' people, the same people that were not doing their job, they got promoted. LIVE IS NOT ALWAYS AS DESCRIBED IN TH-cam FELLAS. Let's be real for a sec.
@@paraschivlaurentiu70 you’re right, I worked extra hours, came in for people that took off, tried my best to help people out, I was nice( something everybody should be doing anyways) to the assholes in the place because they were rude af, and I would try to make people’s job easier but nope all I get in return is rude assholes and hours being cut when it didn’t need to be so I left
Don’t kiss up. Just don’t. This guy who wants to succeed should get out of that dead end job, don’t play with the wolves, but go be an alpha. He has the ambition to make his own success through intelligence and endurance. Don’t fall for an employer who is narcissistic. Don’t compete. Don’t lie down and roll over. Quit. Leave that employer high and dry. He doesn’t deserve your skills and abilities to move the business forward. Give that time and energy to somebody who appreciates it, even if it’s yourself.
Yep. Life is too short to waste time playing dumb ass games like this at a job. Take your time and energy elsewhere where its valued or spend it on yourself.
This is a good strategy if you care about the organization. But I think for most regular employed people, a powerful bad apple is indicative of a rotten organization that tolerates this bad apple. The chain may very well be rotten too. Sometimes, best to smile politely and get out.
my asst. MGR is hiring entry lvl people into roles that you're supposed to be an expert in your field. "product knowledge can be learned" he says. Well, passion can't be learned. Passion is organic.
I’m a hard worker and would get taken advantage of at work. Until I made it a game…I am now sporadic about when I will be helpful and when I will be a slacker. This in turns makes the people who would normally push their work or delegate to me, cautious as hell to even ask me because they don’t know what version they are going to get. This forces them to respect my boundaries/ be extra thankful if I do help/ and still fulfill my guilt of feeling like I’m not working hard.
This advice doesn’t all work if your boss is the owner of the company. Aside from the being indispensable, but I’ve seen bosses fire a star employee because their ego couldn’t put aside the jealously of the star employee showing them up. In my experience, they’ll let you walk out the door even if you’re doing all the work, because these people can’t admit that you were needed badly.
There is a lot you can learn from a bad boss. I learned what not to do from bad bosses. If you just apply what not to do, they you're about halfway there to being a good boss.
I take this as he is saying, "take the high road on situations like this because eventually kindness, professionalism, and hard work will win the day." That is the best case scenario and one I think we would all like to experience or see happen to ourselves and others. Unfortunately, the working world is different from the military in that there is no permanence. Meaning, you are not stuck in your situation. If you have to go to work each day and eat shit because some egomaniac or fool got to where they are because of nepotism or favoritism they know it, and this is your experience? Then get the hell out of there. Find an exit plan and execute. The working world is like musical chairs right now. There is an opportunity for you to be in a good environment right around the corner and if you can't find that good environment...then look inward and asses.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your mention NEPOTISM and FAVORITISM. That is EXACTLY what is happening at the company I work for. I am in contention for a team lead position. There are four spots open. Apparently 6-10 of us applied for those spots. They can question my leadership experience, because I truly have none. I wasn't in the military (one of the candidates was), and I was never a lead or supervisor before. What they can NOT question is my work ethic, my punctuality an attendance, my eagerness to learn and improve. I know who two of the other candidates are. One of them is a favorite because he shares muslim beliefs with one of the supervisors. The other is a favorite because one of the supervisors is close with the BROTHER of the candidate I'm talking about. It's bad enough that both supervisors I mentioned have all but admitted to me that I am not the candidate they have in mind. On top of that, the manager on the first shift (I'm third shift) asked me to come work on his shift as an "agent" (my current title). I told him that I am not changing shifts for less pay, and for the same title. It would have been nice for him to say "well, you'd have a better shot on my shift" or something along those lines. Maybe even a "I see the potential in you that they don't." Nope. The writing seems to be on the wall.
Sounds like my job as well. One of the two area managers got promoted to Director of Operations. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness... suddenly we’ve got a Jehovah’s Witness love triangle between the director and two new area managers. I hate it too. The area manager I work for is an absolute tyrant but you can’t talk to the director about it because they’re all buddy buddy. I’ve contemplated anonymously emailing the area VP but am afraid they’ll figure out who it is and push me out.
Just leave... lol. My bad manager literally drained me mentally. In a 3 month time frame, 5 other employees put in 2 weeks notice because of the manager. Toxic as heck
Good advice. But the problem is when the boss is your best friend one day and then stabs you in the back the next...sometimes you have no choice but to dig in your heels. You set up another job and then take that boss head on, written complaint, document complaint with labor board, and go right to the top person. If they fire you for legitimate complaint, you sue. Send the message to the company that it will be much more costly to fire you then it will be to get that boss in check. IF EVEN 5% OF PEOPLE HAD THE BALLS TO SPEAK UP (BECAUSE IT SURELY ISNT JUST YOU), THEN HORRIBLE, ABUSIVE PEOPLE WOULD NOT SETTLE INTO THESE POSITIONS TO BEGIN WITH :/
This advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Building a positive relationship with your superior is one thing, kissing ass is something else entirely. A whole lot of Marines I worked with didn't understand that there's a line between those two things.
BCrafty121 I call it respect for the position even if it's filled with a narcissistic butthole. I will respect my superior but I also have an aversion to ass kissing of which there is a very fine line, as you stated. My problem is when its becoming apparent it's ass kissing I need to think about a better situation if I can't change it. Which means I should be looking at ways to generate income instead of how to manage a ridiculous boss.
If this goes on for a long time, this game can emotionally drain you... unless you are as narcissistic/psychopath as the person you are trying to outsmart.
Exactly. Unlike Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists, I don't have an endless supply of energy to manipulate others and play games of cat and mouse. I just want to do my job without all this nonsense. Sadly that is not the reality in a corporate world infested with individuals with personality disorders.
So true. And one just can't assume that your boss is not playing up with you..Bad ass bosses are bad only because they won't give you due credit. It's as simple as that. You can act like you like them, but you can't negotiate at the cost of your health and mental peace.
Great words of wisdom from El Jocko, yet once again. The message reminds me of the scene from The Departed where Wahlberg tells his cocky colleague, "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."
Just choose a boss that you feel there is no BS when you are being supervised. Problem starts when there are INSECURE BOSSES just because employee 1 have better skills, some boss guinea pig stress test the employee to the point that when employee reacts bad then boss will do consequences just so he can feel he IS ABOVE and RIGHT.
It’s awesome to hear jocko talk about this because I’m doing everything he described right now. My manager currently does some things well, but a lot of things really poorly and pisses a lot of people off, including me. She over demands, and under works. Despite this, I’ve become her favorite to the point where she brags about me to the higher ups. I’m working at a gym, and I plan to take up personal training soon, I should have no problem working my way up the chain! Great advice!
I tried this for 4 years and it's gotten me no where the work environment is extremely toxic. The boss screams at customers embarrasses me fires the good people because of her mood swings. Have a job interview next week and it's about $600 more a month than my boss currently makes and she works 90 hours a week I will be working 46. Current job has no benefits no paid time off hell I have to work 6 days a week. New job will have a 401k pay time off health insurance paid holidays paid sick leave. It's just all around a better choice I need to leave I've already done my time.
this is a very minimalist view on ego. Every human has an Ego, Id, Superego. It's one of the only things I believe that Freud identified correctly regarding psychological concepts and processes. Anyways, you do not grow out of ego, you learn how your ego affects how you operate socially. Some people then take that to the next level and learn how to control it. It's not that everyone is conscious of they're ego and know how to make it work best for them, its that some people consciously make decisions which subconsciously affect the role of their ego, id, and superego. That's my understanding of it anyway. I think you could also make a chicken or the egg argument here but we'll save that for another youtube video :)
What do you do Jocko, when your boss doesn't keep his word and is constantly and repeatedly says one thing and does another thing? And you start to see a systematic negative effect on all the employees, what do you do.
In the private sector, finding another job is going to be the safer play in most cases. Once you have another offer in hand, your company might let you know that they were already trying to get rid of your boss, and then you can consider staying. Never criticize your boss in any other circumstance. Jocko's strategy might also work if the boss is in the office often enough to bond with (mine wasn't) and introduces you to the high-level customers (mine didn't). The risk is that even if he gets all the credit, he'll still give you a poor evaluation to avoid the possibility of anyone listening to you in case you tell the truth later.
A bad boss is like the bad neighbor syndrome. A bad neighbor causes a lot of little issues that build up until you feel forced to confront the person. It's human nature and can be unhealthy to ignore. Sometimes the intel you get is valuable and needed to make choices. I've realized that my boss isn't capable of directing me without steering me into a pit of flames. I'm not going along with this circle running just because someday I might get something out of it. For me, life is a bit short to waste on that route. I take command and politely blow him off to run my division because I've put myself in a position where no one else can do my job anyway. These days people are asked to take on so many things and get into a crazy amount of layers within the business that a boss isn't really as powerful as when a simple call to get a guy in for one type of job was easy to do. It's a double edge sword for them. On one hand they over task to keep the hard work away from themselves but it ends up creating a strong employee that knows way too much. I like the freedom of owning my shit regardless of who is technically in charge. For me that's just on paper. When your starting out then I'd say you would air on the side of caution with people ahead of you. I never call out a guy and tell them what I think of them. Just be tactful.
I dont know what to do. My store manager is a unprofessional leader, lies about other people, starts drama, and creates a disruption in our work environment. Doesn't follow our policy and what our company stands for. I respect her and have worked with her even when I have confronted things to her. Like I literally asked "why are you being mean to me"? This shocked her and she didn't know how to answer this properly. She just said I'm not being mean and I replied exactly what she said to me. Didn't know how to answer. Now wants me to take the blame for something she stated about another manager that wasn't true. She was upset when I asked her about it because it wasn't true at all. I cant work for a boss like that I've been with the company 7 years and she been with the company 4 months. She's not Coachable. I think it's time for me to leave.
I used to think you need to follow morals and behavior to a tee, until I realized it’s really about how much of a asset/pet you are to them. Use em up!
Dude 🤦♂️ so true. School taught me that "we're all in this together" and my old boss taught me that you're just a grey lead pencil, once your broken he will get a new one..
I can't agree with this advice. I can agree with being respectful and having a positive attitude to have a successful working relationship. But going to lunch and doing things as if you two are good friends? No thank you. If I don't like you then most likely it's something wrong with your character. I've had bosses I genuinely liked and the ones I genuinely disliked were for good reason.
Throttling back? Befriending a lazy/scattered boss? Its taxing to live an inauthentic work life. Really is. Some of these bosses thrive on keeping you down. It's a tough situation to be in with no easy fix.
Agreed. The line between co-workers, and managers, and personal relationships is one that shouldn't be blurred. I keep my manager, amd co-workers at a distance. I don't know you, and you don't know me, outside of work.
This really helped me! I have noticed results as well. I have been encouraged in my own work and am performing better. The relationship between my boss and I has also improved. Before watching this 5 minute video, I thought my boss was clumsy and a bully. Now I have built a relationship with him and he comes to me for help! Thanks for sharing this video and letting me comment 😬
Its great you applied this. My boss can be difficult too but I try to see the brighter side of things and tell myself its only for a time not necessarily forever.
@@preetikapathare8026be yourself, be professional, lisen more than anythin most gaffas love sound of own voice. don't judge. Just engage n be competent n consistant Evtime
Thanks Jocko. I definitely feel this. My bosses drink as I grind. They are always negative, and talk trash. So as they b.s. I go above and beyond. I get my exercise in as to keep my training going. And on my breaks I set up side jobs for the weekend. See even when they rest I keep grinding. Soon they will be out of shape as I go on a run on my lunch. On 3 let's go get it. Show them what allergic to average looks like.
And you build such an awesome fake relationship that he wants to hang out with you in his spare time, so you have to put up with him both at work and when you are free. And you have to do that with the next guy too, and soon you realize that your whole life is fake and wonder if the reward is worth the effort. One day they may even catch you being your true self, and it's not going to be pretty... Good advice for survival, but maybe not good advice for happiness. It's happened to me, and I hate what I've turned into.
no you are missing the point. what he is saying is that you RESPECT all people, regardless of the way that they act or that they treat you. this does not mean that you have to like them or be best friends, but your sole 'mission' is to have a good working relationship with your co-workers and to get the work done. as opposed to being 'real' and being like a little teenage girl, I hate that girl i'm not working with her! then YOU become the problem as you refuse to work alongside other co-workers. you can still have a laugh with people that you don't particularly like, what is the alternative exactly? every time you see them you become angry/resentful/miserable? wow, that is very productive and mature. no, you say hi, you respect them and you get your work done. then at the end of the day you hang out with people you love, your friends, your family, and you feel fulfilled because you rose above your ego and worked alongside someone whom your do not particularly like, yet this didn't impact your work in ANY WAY. and if they ask to spend time with you outside of work, you politely decline.
@@Demondoink1 Hey you are so correct regarding this, but how can you just be not angry when he tried to manipulate or even verbally abuse you ... I mean i do have that constant fear... so I have that work relationship but its just like am avoiding more connectivity and getting things done!!! just explain me ... you spent your most time at office .. how can you work with a person who is so difficult.
you have successfully explained what I could not understand about my work environment and how I should act. I thought I should be truthful when I should just be professional about work & that doesn't make me a liar.
Jocko is sharing valuable info here. I've been in big manufacturing companies for over 20 years and relationships with the right people is critical. Networking is by far one of the best things you can do to grow your career. No matter what level you get to there will be a person above you that you are smarter than and you could do their job better. If that makes you bitter, you will be bitter forever
This was my question! Thank you for answering! It has totally changed my outlook. I took your advice and built a relationship with him. I don't like the guy, but we have a decent working relationship where he trusts me to do my thing and leaves me alone to do it. The project manager has seemed to taken notice of me as well. Hopefully I will be given a little more autonomy on the next project. Thanks Jocko!
As a manager myself. If you’re good you hire people better at certain tasks than you, delegate accordingly. Empower them, mentor, and make sure they have what they need. Make sure they are not impeded. Praise in public scold in private. Everything done with kindness. And take responsibility for your team’s results. This is just a 10000 ft view of course.
I am dealing right now with a situation with a very bad boss and this man is totally right. Probably I am upset because I am receiving tasks way under my capabilities. However, I was letting my ego take over that my higher ups would think that my capabilities are actually less than my current boss’s. Thanks for the great advice,
You have to remember something about Jocko, he was in the military. Those guys don't stay at one command for more than a few years, then they get promoted and get a better position at another command or they leave military when their contract is up. That dude above you is never going to say anything about you other than he's an "okay" worker, otherwise it will threaten his position and chance to advance also. He doesn't understand that you could be under the same people for 20 years, working for people who will take credit for everything you do and tell their bosses that they have workers who do just enough to not be worth spending time training new people to replace them.
Im like this at the moment- i am a hard worker and would constantly get in early and do more shifts, would volunteer for things etc... asking for opportunities to grow and how i could do better in my job etc to maybe step up my career in the future. however after doing this for the last 7 years working solidly (maybe making a few mistakes along the way lol ) it just all got thrown back in my face so now im over it and now just focusing on getting my job done and then going home lol 😅. Its not worth my time or energy anymore to work more than my collegues just to have thrown back in my face and not to be appreciated .
hey man i found your videos today, watched a bunch of them that relate to work situations, like this one and dealing with anger issues, anxiety, stress, etc. and your videos have helped me a LOT. i recently found myself yelling at my coworkers because they do these random dumb things and just watching and learning these videos theyve helped me calm down completely and find ways of dealing with these issues in a more constructive way and reducing my stress, anxiety 10 fold. ty
So basically support a poor boss? No thanks. Might work in the military as most bosses are replaced every 2 years or less. Not so with a "real" job. This is horrible advice.
@@charliedallachie3539 But you won't learn anything and you'll carry around a lack of experience you probably don't even notice, or don't want to. I experience it. A bad leader is a formidable source of training. Jocko is right, if you build a good relationship, you're basically in charge. The better you perform the sooner the boss will move, especially if it's the very ambitious type. But more importantly, you will take that experience with you, moving to another team, company or own projects. It's not about the boss. Of course if the person is a cancer on two legs, lost cause of mankind, you leave.
So this seal is basically teaching you how to be disloyal to yourself. Bad managers are usually signs of bad company, which is a sign that you shouldn't want to be promoted above him on the first place
I work my ass off every day. When my uncle died, I didn't take any days off. When my grandpa died, I didn't take any days off. When my best friend killed himself, I still didn't take in any days off. I show up early, I stay late. I work as fast as I can with buyback, truck, or any other task I receive. I do more than what is expected. If a manager tells me to do no retail, I'll do no retail and the go back cart. I do more than what is expected. I do audits consistently every shift, even when some managers forget to do them. I pick up their slack. If I see something that needs to be done, I do it. I work faster than my team and I get more done. But I keep receiving hyper criticism from management regarding my attitude problem. We all have flaws. I observed flaws in managers, every day, but I do not say anything. Yet, I am frequently reminded about the fact that I am disrespectful and aggressive. I've asked for specific examples, and very few managers can provide me with any. For the specific examples I've received, I say Roger that, I'll fix it, no excuses. And I fix it. But now I am receiving intangible criticism regarding how I say things. My manager recently told me I said something disrespectful to her. I asked her what I said. I said, "You're welcome" aggressively. I say what I need to quickly, concisely, and then I move on to what needs to be done. I do not waste time talking to coworkers. While some coworkers talk and jack off for 5 minutes at a time without doing any work, I say what I need to say and I get back to work. I take extreme ownership and I do not make any excuses. But I do not understand how I can work my ass off without being a little bit aggressive. I channel my anger and use it to achieve maximum productivity. I am the highest performer at work, but people do not like working with me because I am too aggressive. I do not know how to fix this problem. I say the right things, but I guess I say them in a way that sounds disrespectful. I say yes sir, no sir, yes mam, no mam, Roger that, no excuses. But apparently my tone is rude. How do I fix this problem?
This seems manipulative and dishonorable. I love Jocko, but I'm not into this line of thinking. Jocko also assumes a perfect system and structure where hard work and integrity eventually shine through. There are many organizations where that is not the case at all.
I can see both sides of this. I am currently working for a very political company who promotes in a totally illogical manner. Last week the lowest performer in the group was promoted to management - This was after she was instrumental in running the person out, that had the position prior.
I am coming to the realization that my work ethic IS threatening, that it is time for me to throttle back how hard I have been working . If I'm getting all the work done, then the boss is happy but I'm not getting an opportunity to lead because I am working alone. So, it's time for me to put in just above what the rest are doing, to get that help that I should have been getting from the beginning, then I will have something to work with. At my company it is lazy, dishonest people who are getting promoted. It's sickening.
Sorry, Jocko, but you’re wrong here. In the Navy and the Marine Corps that may work because the promotion process is removed from your current reporting senior and based on manpower requirements. Your reporting senior only has influence on your immediate performance evaluation. But in business, when your boss is the obstacle to you getting promoted because of the way promotion path is structured, no amount of ass kissing will get you promoted above them. In many structures, the only way to get promoted is to be recognized by someone outside of your “chain”. And then you would need to be moved to a different path to try to get promoted above your previous boss. I agree with most of what you said from the military lens, but not from the corporate lens.
In the military, the smart man sees the guy who is better than him and trains with him to get better, In the civilian world...the better guy is now a threat to the leader and has to be removed. Seen both sides and wow, what a difference between the two sides
"Jacko is good to go. He can work with anyone. He worked with Bill who is an egomaniac and he's worked with Mike who is a lazy bastard." Damn, those are the words I needed to here this morning before heading into work. My boss is too toxic.
PERFECT! Thank you for the example! I’ve been struggling with a control freak who won’t let us make our own documents and the proofing before they’re sent out en mass is awful. I don’t aspire to run things, but I love my job, just not her.
The bosses that disappear are the best bosses. Those are the ones that force you into situations to do things yourself, and you learn and grow at an incredibly fast rate when that happens. Those are the bosses that allow you space to grow confident in yourself and the job.
If your boss is a narcissist none of what jocko just said will do a damn thing, the only answer to abusive boss or workplace is to leave, your job’s replaceable, your home life, mental health and health are not.
There were some interesting points brought up about how to handle this type of boss. If this work structure is temporary then this could be great advice. If it’s a permanent situation keep in mind that switching firms consistently outpaces the pay raises you get from staying. Part of getting over one’s ego is realizing they’re in an untenable or crappy situation.
When he said Bill is lazy and Mike is stupid these perfectly describe why I'm here. But what's so funny and ironic is that these are actual people in my workplace with the same name and description. Jocko thank you for this.
After 2 years of working for this company and training others, always being the yes person with a 3% raise iv finally dared to say no to training a new supervisor who was hired over me i said: "I am confident that at this time, my primary focus should be on increasing my call count and maximizing my bonuses to ensure a substantial increase in my income. “Once mastered I'll be ready to assist others not only in providing excellent knowledge but also training in maximizing productivity. I’m feeling a bit burnt out at this time, so I need some time to regroup myself and improve.
This channel has helped propel me to the next level. I'm addicted to feeding my mind with all you speak of man.. Thank u.. just got the book and dove right in..
What I did was to focus on whatever my a-hole boss thought that was most important and didnt do anything else while I looked for a new job. After 3 months I found a new job and I got the hell out of there.
The mans right if your an "ACE" its gonna show in time. You will go crazy with the mindset of"I do EVERYTHING and my supervisor is lazy" That doesnt make u look like a good employee, it makes u look weak. No Big time CEO or Executive wants to hear complaining. You wont hear an ACE complaining and announcing everything EXTRA they do and how its "UNFAIR". You say absolutely "I got you". Remember when your a good worker you are going to be WORKING its not gonna be handed to u. To this day when I speak in passing with The Owner or A partner of the company I work for on a friday I always tell them about how "I hate fridays, thats two days Im not here being awesome" Great vid Amigo
I work for a grocery store and my bosses are absolutely terrible. They think they talk down to me because I have a disability my opinion. I do my best every time so I’m asking how can I get myself to keep myself from screaming?
Unless you really love the type of work you’re doing and the company, life’s too short to work for a shitty boss. You’ll grow so much more professionally on a high performing team with a boss you actually like. Not worth waiting around for years for your shitty boss to leave the company. Then YOU end up becoming the shitty boss.
Jocko's advice may have worked about 25, or 35 years ago; but this stuff isn't going to fly today. The millennials, and Gen-Zers just don't give a fuck, and they'll just up and quit a job in a heartbeat. Their methods seem to be working too, since employers, and other large corporations have certainly taken notice, and have gone damn near insane in spending loads of money to figure them out.
I would strongly advice not to bend to anybody. The "bad" boss may be fully conscious of what he is doing (he may be smarter than expected) and it will only back fire on the employee if it is the case, since the employee will have more grudge and will self-depreciate. Furthermore, it is not because the boss is well connected that he will necessarily speak in good favor of the hard working employee. The boss may potentially be an A-hole. The best to do here is to tough it up and find another job while doing so. I have been in many situations in the past few years where bosses only wanted to look good and get promoted without having anything to bring to the table while shitting and micromanaging their subordinates. I do not know how it was in the past, but I can tell that it is now everyone for themselves. However, I concur that in the military it is different since you can physically see who does what, how and what the real results are. On the other hand, it may not be the case for the officers especially senior officers that are most of the time bureaucrats.
Jako has a point of view. Here's mine. If you lower your head for any reason to someone else, then you can't stop that moment from repeating itself through your memory. Don't let people talk down to you. Stand up for yourself as soon as they act the way they do. What's the worst thing that could happen? Fired?
Lol my boss had me picking up and driving home a coworker who (nobody mentioned before I agreed) lived 20 minutes away. So, it was 40 mins of driving, and 40 after work both ways. This went on for about 3 months. The guy gave me $5 once. But if I didn’t pick him up, we’d be down a cook (he was the head cook,) and then it would be me filling his spot every time. They really had me so hard by the balls… that was last year. And I’ve still gotten no raise. Multi billion dollar company, and even $2 is too much. Worked at another location prior, was my first job. When I left my managers basically told me I should find somewhere else to work. Said “we just care about you and would hate to see you get taken advantage of). I was the one who said “nahh I’ll give it a shot”. Few months later, I’m in that predicament. Not to mention it’s understaffed, yet takes on more customers than literally any other restaurant in the area. Blood pressure is so high after my shifts and I’m 24
I agree with this 💯💯 it's a skill worth mastering. Gotta learn how to navigate your way around toxic bosses because they are everywhere, changing jobs doesn't guarantee safety either. Might as well learn how to deal with these suckers instead of always running! Great advice, it takes emotional maturity !
Swallowing my pride right now. I’m going to build a solid relationship with my boss. Thank you so much for doing this video, it is an answer to my prayers
Passivity never leads to good results, and I'm sick of these types of passive advice about dealing with a horrible and toxic manager. In fact, it makes your manager take liberties and abuse you even more but will never give you what you deserve. It has nothing to do with ego but humanity and self-respect. I have seen this numerous times, and it never ends well. Managers do not respect cowards. They will afford you respect if you show them from the beginning that you are not to be messed with. You must confront their first horrible behaviour in a professional, respectful but firm manner, and ensure you tell them in a firm manner to desist from repeating such behaviour moving forward. If you let a manager's disrespectful behaviour pass the first time round without confronting it head on, you will forever be his/her prey. I speak from experience. I have always been super assertive when dealing with toxic managers, and in fact, they were so afraid of me that I always got what I wanted, e.g., promotion, salary increase, time off, etc. I always treated firm and fair managers with respect, but toxic and bullying manager were put in their place. They were so afraid of me that an outsider looking in would think I was the manager, and that's exactly how I wanted to deal with such toxic managers. As the saying goes... it it better to be feared than loved. In similarity, I have seen weak co-workers who were practically bullied by such managers do everything to try to appease these disgusting people, yet they never were promoted or given benefits. In fact, their passivity was an invitation for more abuse (sometimes physical abuse). You are employed by a company to provide a service because you have something they want in return for a salary. You are not employed to be abused, degraded, or humiliated by one of their managers. People (no matter who they are) will treat you in a way that you've allowed them to treat you. Have some dignity.
Interesting. But I don't want to build a relationship and don't even want to get promoted. I just want to do my job without having to deal with a hands on clueless boss who messes my work.
If you have a crap manager, be polite but focus on finding a better job somewhere else. There's even a chance your bad bosses company will ask you to come back at a higher level in a year or two. This has happened to me before. Sticking it out with a bad boss and trying to win him over is a waste of time and energy.
"Just live a lie! It's so simple. Just wear a fake smile and ignore your actual feelings by becoming deceitful. Abandon any virtues related to truth to focus on the football game. Not wanting to live a lie means you've got a bad attitude."
I appreciate the optimism and can do attitude, but employing these tactics in the world of finance I have found quite difficult. Not all playing fields are level.
This reminds me of the best advice my mom gave me “I don’t care how you pass your classes but you better pass your classes” What Jocko is saying is gold and something I learned very young. You will never have a perfect situation especially at work. Listen to this free game because it is exactly how you move up. Don’t keep leaving places, burning bridges and opportunities thinking the grass is greener because it never is. If you see room for growth or see any opportunity learn to be the subject matter expert humbly build and refine your character through this adversity because it will sharpen you as a man because This is wisdom that will carry you into difference aspects of life and when you start interfacing with life with this mindset you will level up
Yeah.... My toxic boss literally sent other employees in the department to break apart the working relationship /support / friendship between myself and a colleague the boss considers to "be hers."" This included using one of her attack dog flying monkeys to plant rumors about my incompetence and "inappropriate behaviors" ( which included such scandalous behaviors as walking to the parking lot with my colleague and giving birthday cards to fellow employees) My support system at work is trashed, my colleague hardly interacts with me anymore. F using my boss. It is time to get out.
So, in essence, building a good relationship with your boss means either to 1) Throttle back your work ethic to not make him anxious or 2) To work full speed but give him the credit?
I work in a Nursing home I have a bad manager and supervisor. They both work 1st shift and get multiple complaints. Room do not be ready for new admissions. On my shift I get hit with all the extra work, no complaints. My co workers ask me why dont i tell administration, you know go trick on them. But i tell them no. I never knew why but from watching this video now i know why. Im also in the military and have had bad PL's. But i just dealt with it. Did whats important. Now at my current job and at my current unit im a factor. Things fall when im not there. All because my bad bosses gave me the opportunity to perform. So Jocko thanks for this. I didnt have my "why" before. Now I do. Jocko thanks. Your podcast is everything!
This is the best 5:03 of video I've ever seen on TH-cam. I think my mother has been trying to get this very same message through to me for years, and I finally get it.
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I did exactly what you're saying. Do the menial task, pump up their ego, let them take the credit, and got screwed for years. Eventually they got promoted and I got left behind. All this is doing is letting your manager or person above you know they can take advantage of you continuously and you're not going to do anything about it.
Yep. You're right @kanepain0819. Normally I like Jocko, but he missed the mark on this one.
Absolutely
Jokeo WAS that manager that everyone hated who would gleefully let them shine his boots and hand over their credit and he probably never looked back… He gets a lot of praise and pats himself on the back, but I respect SEALs and SF operators who don’t talk about it far more than these blow-hards cashing in. A lot of blood soaked boots in a lot of wars paved the way for these guys and a lot of them didn’t even want to talk about it, they just served and shut up about it. I miss that level of stoicism. Now special forces are just full of egomaniacal jackholes who are looking for book deals. Some would call that drive, I would call it glory seeking and those types are never the best and brightest.
Maybe his advice is good in a military context (which I know nothing about), but both I and the companies I've worked in have benefited from me transferring or moving on. A company may not take notice until their good people start hemorrhaging out. You will not win against an articulate sociopathic narcissist and often the best to do is leave. We are all replaceable, so it's not the end of the world for the organization we may be working for. If you have a good manager and never-quit dudes like Jocko then your organization has struck gold. On the other end, I think working well with people you don't like is an excellent trait for a manager. My best managers had terrible bosses in at least one point in their careers and had also raised teenagers.😅
Why didnt you took his place after he got moved up?
I speak from experience when I say this, just leave and a better opportunity will come. Jocko has the old school mentality.
YES! This information might have worked for you about 20, or 30 years ago. But these days, this stuff isn't going to fly; especially with the millennial generation. Millennials, and Gen-Zers will just drop a job, and go find another one. They don't give a shit, and these employers have certainly taken notice.
th3azscorpio Also, the management has adopted the same theory, if you don’t like it then leave rather than trying to keep people there
There's a fun book called "30 Days to Stop Being a Shitty Boss" by Corin Devaso.
I agree. I get along with others extremely well. But some people are psychopaths and it's not worth it to work alongside them closely for 5-7 years as he says. When people are manipulative psychopaths, it doesn't matter if you give them credit or keep your ego in check. If they are jealous or threatened of you they will plot to take you down. Plus I think some women are more vicious at this than men so maybe that's why he doesn't understand
This right here is the problem you guys don't listen I'm stuck right in the middle right between his generation and your generation n the problem is your generation it's f****** lazy and refuses to listen to anything from the last generation you don't just quit a job because you don't feel you're advancing fast enough its not the first five months of a job that count it's the first five years change your mentality and maybe you will succeed stop being the victim and stop being a f****** quitter be a man
I have tried this for years. Some managers/people are just too afraid to say good things about your work ethic, because it's better than theirs.
Or when you can outperform them because you know how to work computers and they don't and you have customer service attitude and they cuss customers out on a whim. The owner doesn't care the place is being run very unprofessional and I'm sick of it.
@@theL0VERS yeppppers!!
Truth
@@theL0VERS truuue 😭🤣
It's all politics. You can be the best worker and be "too valuable to production". And that fat 💩 who really gets a lot of use out of his kneepads overshadow you, scapegoat you, and then try to powertrip.
Then the company not shocked that you quit, but that all that shit you took care of just falls apart. 😲
If you hate your boss my advice is:
Have a positive attitude.
Be professional.
Do your best work possible.
Learn as much as you can.
Be indispensable.
Be the person who gets it done.
Meanwhile...
Update your resume and carefully, stealth-fully look for a better job.
Get that better job.
Then enjoy the panicked look on your bad boss’s face when you give your two or three weeks professional notice that you have accepted a new opportunity that was just too good to pass up and that you enjoyed your time working with him or her.
This is especially sweet if you were making your bad boss look good.
Nothing terrifies a bad manager more then loosing an employee that made them look good and they didn’t have to work hard to manage.
I don't think my boss is that intelligent, lol. He wouldn't know potential and worthiness if it hit him in the forehead.
I can’t agree more with this,
.
Wow, I wish I read this comment a few months ago
Actually, this is the best advice ever.
What bosses miss to understand is that we get motivated when we get appreciated , you won't make somebody work better if you tell him you're not good
This. Literally my boss always find the slightest thing to criticize me and has never praised me for good work. I really want to quit but I’ve only been there 5 months
Money is what motivates you nothing else
@@onlyme7907 do you
@@tnguyenz1 im almost 4 years at a job that almost is destroying me
Lol
There is nothing worse then a manager that puts their ego before their professionalism
Sadly that's most of them.
Lmao
Dude almost all of them do that, they show favoritism and try to push people off the clock that they don’t like.
There is nothing worse then a entitled employee that puts their ego before their professionalism. They are blind to shortcoming they have and always a flight risk. Many have a mindset that is short term "fast and loose, look at me!" with shallow "quick win" machinations and they tend to earn the "Grind'em til gone" or Corp version of the "pump and down". Either way, they are unhappy because they cannon accept that what they isn't something they can't have. This misalign with expectation, can be one sided or on both.
Long term loyal Grinders and job hopper each both have advantages and disadvantages, figure out the balance that what works for you and focus on personal performance and growth, not seif aggrandizing entitlement.
" they cannon accept that what they isn't something they can't have" what the fuck are you even talking about@@andrew8895
Two rules from Jim Rohn:
"Always do more than you get paid for as an investment in your self"
"Work harder on yourself than you do on your job"
Keep seeing Rohn's name....must be good.
@@jhgosnell from a nurses point of view, doing more extra hours than needed and all the package...pretending is shit. Be real and do the right thing. If that toxic place is not changing into something good change it man. I m in the same place for almost 4 years. Love it! Bot now i have to draw the line and do the math. I have tired but without success. More than that, the ''pretend to be friends with the boss'' people, the same people that were not doing their job, they got promoted.
LIVE IS NOT ALWAYS AS DESCRIBED IN TH-cam FELLAS. Let's be real for a sec.
Damn right brother that’s exactly what i say
@@paraschivlaurentiu70 you’re right, I worked extra hours, came in for people that took off, tried my best to help people out, I was nice( something everybody should be doing anyways) to the assholes in the place because they were rude af, and I would try to make people’s job easier but nope all I get in return is rude assholes and hours being cut when it didn’t need to be so I left
Love this!
Bad bosses would make the most happy person unhappy
Don’t kiss up. Just don’t. This guy who wants to succeed should get out of that dead end job, don’t play with the wolves, but go be an alpha. He has the ambition to make his own success through intelligence and endurance. Don’t fall for an employer who is narcissistic. Don’t compete. Don’t lie down and roll over. Quit. Leave that employer high and dry. He doesn’t deserve your skills and abilities to move the business forward. Give that time and energy to somebody who appreciates it, even if it’s yourself.
Whew 🎯
If it’s not good for your mental health bounce
Yep. Life is too short to waste time playing dumb ass games like this at a job. Take your time and energy elsewhere where its valued or spend it on yourself.
Yeah fuc cuny
Perfect way to explain my view to a T
This is a good strategy if you care about the organization. But I think for most regular employed people, a powerful bad apple is indicative of a rotten organization that tolerates this bad apple. The chain may very well be rotten too. Sometimes, best to smile politely and get out.
my asst. MGR is hiring entry lvl people into roles that you're supposed to be an expert in your field. "product knowledge can be learned" he says. Well, passion can't be learned. Passion is organic.
Sometimes they are smart enough to see through your tips as well. If they don't see you a certain way, it's very hard to change that perception
I’m a hard worker and would get taken advantage of at work. Until I made it a game…I am now sporadic about when I will be helpful and when I will be a slacker. This in turns makes the people who would normally push their work or delegate to me, cautious as hell to even ask me because they don’t know what version they are going to get. This forces them to respect my boundaries/ be extra thankful if I do help/ and still fulfill my guilt of feeling like I’m not working hard.
I need to try this
@@lisamarieanthony8116me too!
@@notovicriousin any industry where you have corporate infrastructure that needs e most with irrelevant and inconsequential...
This works super well with women.
@@notovicrious IT field
This advice doesn’t all work if your boss is the owner of the company. Aside from the being indispensable, but I’ve seen bosses fire a star employee because their ego couldn’t put aside the jealously of the star employee showing them up. In my experience, they’ll let you walk out the door even if you’re doing all the work, because these people can’t admit that you were needed badly.
I agree
not at my small company who is husband and wife. I'll be sent out right away
There’s only one thing to say. Respect yourself enough to go and work somewhere proper without a narcissistic boss. Walk away to have a balanced life
There is a lot you can learn from a bad boss. I learned what not to do from bad bosses. If you just apply what not to do, they you're about halfway there to being a good boss.
Underrated comment!
I take this as he is saying, "take the high road on situations like this because eventually kindness, professionalism, and hard work will win the day." That is the best case scenario and one I think we would all like to experience or see happen to ourselves and others. Unfortunately, the working world is different from the military in that there is no permanence. Meaning, you are not stuck in your situation. If you have to go to work each day and eat shit because some egomaniac or fool got to where they are because of nepotism or favoritism they know it, and this is your experience? Then get the hell out of there. Find an exit plan and execute. The working world is like musical chairs right now. There is an opportunity for you to be in a good environment right around the corner and if you can't find that good environment...then look inward and asses.
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your mention NEPOTISM and FAVORITISM. That is EXACTLY what is happening at the company I work for. I am in contention for a team lead position. There are four spots open. Apparently 6-10 of us applied for those spots. They can question my leadership experience, because I truly have none. I wasn't in the military (one of the candidates was), and I was never a lead or supervisor before. What they can NOT question is my work ethic, my punctuality an attendance, my eagerness to learn and improve. I know who two of the other candidates are. One of them is a favorite because he shares muslim beliefs with one of the supervisors. The other is a favorite because one of the supervisors is close with the BROTHER of the candidate I'm talking about. It's bad enough that both supervisors I mentioned have all but admitted to me that I am not the candidate they have in mind. On top of that, the manager on the first shift (I'm third shift) asked me to come work on his shift as an "agent" (my current title). I told him that I am not changing shifts for less pay, and for the same title. It would have been nice for him to say "well, you'd have a better shot on my shift" or something along those lines. Maybe even a "I see the potential in you that they don't." Nope. The writing seems to be on the wall.
Sounds like my job as well. One of the two area managers got promoted to Director of Operations. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness... suddenly we’ve got a Jehovah’s Witness love triangle between the director and two new area managers.
I hate it too. The area manager I work for is an absolute tyrant but you can’t talk to the director about it because they’re all buddy buddy. I’ve contemplated anonymously emailing the area VP but am afraid they’ll figure out who it is and push me out.
Better take than mine, anyway. I took this as “be a kiss-ass.”
Just leave... lol. My bad manager literally drained me mentally. In a 3 month time frame, 5 other employees put in 2 weeks notice because of the manager. Toxic as heck
Mine is doing the same, I choose to leave, waiting for paperwork to finalize. Waking up or even running across his minions sickens me.
Good advice. But the problem is when the boss is your best friend one day and then stabs you in the back the next...sometimes you have no choice but to dig in your heels. You set up another job and then take that boss head on, written complaint, document complaint with labor board, and go right to the top person. If they fire you for legitimate complaint, you sue. Send the message to the company that it will be much more costly to fire you then it will be to get that boss in check. IF EVEN 5% OF PEOPLE HAD THE BALLS TO SPEAK UP (BECAUSE IT SURELY ISNT JUST YOU), THEN HORRIBLE, ABUSIVE PEOPLE WOULD NOT SETTLE INTO THESE POSITIONS TO BEGIN WITH :/
This advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Building a positive relationship with your superior is one thing, kissing ass is something else entirely. A whole lot of Marines I worked with didn't understand that there's a line between those two things.
BCrafty121 I call it respect for the position even if it's filled with a narcissistic butthole. I will respect my superior but I also have an aversion to ass kissing of which there is a very fine line, as you stated. My problem is when its becoming apparent it's ass kissing I need to think about a better situation if I can't change it. Which means I should be looking at ways to generate income instead of how to manage a ridiculous boss.
Good point!
There's a difference between dealing with actual bosses in the real world and marines.
@@theywalkinguptoyouand4060 : maybe, but even in the "real world" there are people who are kissing the ass of their boss.
If this goes on for a long time, this game can emotionally drain you... unless you are as narcissistic/psychopath as the person you are trying to outsmart.
Yep. Life is too short.
Exactly. Unlike Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists, I don't have an endless supply of energy to manipulate others and play games of cat and mouse. I just want to do my job without all this nonsense. Sadly that is not the reality in a corporate world infested with individuals with personality disorders.
@@SongofaBeach2012Sounds like Jocko is one of those then
The face I wear at work is totally different than my @ home, in my zone, around my loved ones face. Sucks but that's how I survive
So true. And one just can't assume that your boss is not playing up with you..Bad ass bosses are bad only because they won't give you due credit. It's as simple as that. You can act like you like them, but you can't negotiate at the cost of your health and mental peace.
Never outshine the master
Usually I like this guy's advice, but I've seen too many people exploit this type of attitude.
Great words of wisdom from El Jocko, yet once again. The message reminds me of the scene from The Departed where Wahlberg tells his cocky colleague, "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."
LexRoll.com foreal lmao 😂
Just choose a boss that you feel there is no BS when you are being supervised. Problem starts when there are INSECURE BOSSES just because employee 1 have better skills, some boss guinea pig stress test the employee to the point that when employee reacts bad then boss will do consequences just so he can feel he IS ABOVE and RIGHT.
YES THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. Holyyyy fuckkkk
It’s awesome to hear jocko talk about this because I’m doing everything he described right now. My manager currently does some things well, but a lot of things really poorly and pisses a lot of people off, including me. She over demands, and under works. Despite this, I’ve become her favorite to the point where she brags about me to the higher ups. I’m working at a gym, and I plan to take up personal training soon, I should have no problem working my way up the chain! Great advice!
I tried this for 4 years and it's gotten me no where the work environment is extremely toxic. The boss screams at customers embarrasses me fires the good people because of her mood swings. Have a job interview next week and it's about $600 more a month than my boss currently makes and she works 90 hours a week I will be working 46. Current job has no benefits no paid time off hell I have to work 6 days a week. New job will have a 401k pay time off health insurance paid holidays paid sick leave. It's just all around a better choice I need to leave I've already done my time.
Bad bosses will sabotage you. Have fun and sabotage the bad boss, but you should never harm the company you work for.
Ego is for high school football players, a grown man believes in integrity and dignity
yeah whatever as if alot of bosses are grown men then
Yeh. These slime buckets are ethical God’s !
Yes, that's why licking a horrible bosses asshole is not a good recipe to maintain integrity. Sometimes you have to fight.
this is a very minimalist view on ego. Every human has an Ego, Id, Superego. It's one of the only things I believe that Freud identified correctly regarding psychological concepts and processes. Anyways, you do not grow out of ego, you learn how your ego affects how you operate socially. Some people then take that to the next level and learn how to control it. It's not that everyone is conscious of they're ego and know how to make it work best for them, its that some people consciously make decisions which subconsciously affect the role of their ego, id, and superego. That's my understanding of it anyway. I think you could also make a chicken or the egg argument here but we'll save that for another youtube video :)
Not all work environments and setups are the same, this doesn't even remotely apply to my situation
Definitely not
What do you do Jocko, when your boss doesn't keep his word and is constantly and repeatedly says one thing and does another thing? And you start to see a systematic negative effect on all the employees, what do you do.
Well one thing that's for sure is you'll never be able to change them, trust me.
In the private sector, finding another job is going to be the safer play in most cases. Once you have another offer in hand, your company might let you know that they were already trying to get rid of your boss, and then you can consider staying. Never criticize your boss in any other circumstance. Jocko's strategy might also work if the boss is in the office often enough to bond with (mine wasn't) and introduces you to the high-level customers (mine didn't). The risk is that even if he gets all the credit, he'll still give you a poor evaluation to avoid the possibility of anyone listening to you in case you tell the truth later.
A bad boss is like the bad neighbor syndrome. A bad neighbor causes a lot of little issues that build up until you feel forced to confront the person. It's human nature and can be unhealthy to ignore. Sometimes the intel you get is valuable and needed to make choices. I've realized that my boss isn't capable of directing me without steering me into a pit of flames. I'm not going along with this circle running just because someday I might get something out of it. For me, life is a bit short to waste on that route. I take command and politely blow him off to run my division because I've put myself in a position where no one else can do my job anyway. These days people are asked to take on so many things and get into a crazy amount of layers within the business that a boss isn't really as powerful as when a simple call to get a guy in for one type of job was easy to do. It's a double edge sword for them. On one hand they over task to keep the hard work away from themselves but it ends up creating a strong employee that knows way too much. I like the freedom of owning my shit regardless of who is technically in charge. For me that's just on paper. When your starting out then I'd say you would air on the side of caution with people ahead of you. I never call out a guy and tell them what I think of them. Just be tactful.
I dont know what to do. My store manager is a unprofessional leader, lies about other people, starts drama, and creates a disruption in our work environment. Doesn't follow our policy and what our company stands for. I respect her and have worked with her even when I have confronted things to her. Like I literally asked "why are you being mean to me"? This shocked her and she didn't know how to answer this properly. She just said I'm not being mean and I replied exactly what she said to me. Didn't know how to answer.
Now wants me to take the blame for something she stated about another manager that wasn't true. She was upset when I asked her about it because it wasn't true at all.
I cant work for a boss like that I've been with the company 7 years and she been with the company 4 months. She's not Coachable. I think it's time for me to leave.
I used to think you need to follow morals and behavior to a tee, until I realized it’s really about how much of a asset/pet you are to them. Use em up!
Dude 🤦♂️ so true. School taught me that "we're all in this together" and my old boss taught me that you're just a grey lead pencil, once your broken he will get a new one..
I can't agree with this advice. I can agree with being respectful and having a positive attitude to have a successful working relationship. But going to lunch and doing things as if you two are good friends? No thank you. If I don't like you then most likely it's something wrong with your character. I've had bosses I genuinely liked and the ones I genuinely disliked were for good reason.
Throttling back? Befriending a lazy/scattered boss? Its taxing to live an inauthentic work life. Really is. Some of these bosses thrive on keeping you down. It's a tough situation to be in with no easy fix.
I agree.
Agreed. The line between co-workers, and managers, and personal relationships is one that shouldn't be blurred. I keep my manager, amd co-workers at a distance. I don't know you, and you don't know me, outside of work.
Called showbiz not show friends
Agree,
This really helped me! I have noticed results as well. I have been encouraged in my own work and am performing better. The relationship between my boss and I has also improved.
Before watching this 5 minute video, I thought my boss was clumsy and a bully. Now I have built a relationship with him and he comes to me for help!
Thanks for sharing this video and letting me comment 😬
Its great you applied this. My boss can be difficult too but I try to see the brighter side of things and tell myself its only for a time not necessarily forever.
How did you do it?
@@preetikapathare8026be yourself, be professional, lisen more than anythin most gaffas love sound of own voice.
don't judge. Just engage n be competent n consistant Evtime
Thanks Jocko. I definitely feel this. My bosses drink as I grind. They are always negative, and talk trash. So as they b.s. I go above and beyond. I get my exercise in as to keep my training going. And on my breaks I set up side jobs for the weekend. See even when they rest I keep grinding. Soon they will be out of shape as I go on a run on my lunch. On 3 let's go get it. Show them what allergic to average looks like.
stay hard!
And you build such an awesome fake relationship that he wants to hang out with you in his spare time, so you have to put up with him both at work and when you are free. And you have to do that with the next guy too, and soon you realize that your whole life is fake and wonder if the reward is worth the effort. One day they may even catch you being your true self, and it's not going to be pretty...
Good advice for survival, but maybe not good advice for happiness. It's happened to me, and I hate what I've turned into.
CORXX part of dexters code....
good job completely missing the point
You don't have to be fake. Be yourself always.
no you are missing the point. what he is saying is that you RESPECT all people, regardless of the way that they act or that they treat you. this does not mean that you have to like them or be best friends, but your sole 'mission' is to have a good working relationship with your co-workers and to get the work done.
as opposed to being 'real' and being like a little teenage girl, I hate that girl i'm not working with her! then YOU become the problem as you refuse to work alongside other co-workers.
you can still have a laugh with people that you don't particularly like, what is the alternative exactly? every time you see them you become angry/resentful/miserable? wow, that is very productive and mature. no, you say hi, you respect them and you get your work done. then at the end of the day you hang out with people you love, your friends, your family, and you feel fulfilled because you rose above your ego and worked alongside someone whom your do not particularly like, yet this didn't impact your work in ANY WAY.
and if they ask to spend time with you outside of work, you politely decline.
@@Demondoink1 Hey you are so correct regarding this, but how can you just be not angry when he tried to manipulate or even verbally abuse you ... I mean i do have that constant fear... so I have that work relationship but its just like am avoiding more connectivity and getting things done!!! just explain me ... you spent your most time at office .. how can you work with a person who is so difficult.
you have successfully explained what I could not understand about my work environment and how I should act. I thought I should be truthful when I should just be professional about work & that doesn't make me a liar.
Jocko is sharing valuable info here. I've been in big manufacturing companies for over 20 years and relationships with the right people is critical. Networking is by far one of the best things you can do to grow your career. No matter what level you get to there will be a person above you that you are smarter than and you could do their job better. If that makes you bitter, you will be bitter forever
This was my question! Thank you for answering! It has totally changed my outlook. I took your advice and built a relationship with him. I don't like the guy, but we have a decent working relationship where he trusts me to do my thing and leaves me alone to do it. The project manager has seemed to taken notice of me as well. Hopefully I will be given a little more autonomy on the next project. Thanks Jocko!
As a manager myself. If you’re good you hire people better at certain tasks than you, delegate accordingly. Empower them, mentor, and make sure they have what they need. Make sure they are not impeded. Praise in public scold in private. Everything done with kindness. And take responsibility for your team’s results. This is just a 10000 ft view of course.
I am dealing right now with a situation with a very bad boss and this man is totally right. Probably I am upset because I am receiving tasks way under my capabilities. However, I was letting my ego take over that my higher ups would think that my capabilities are actually less than my current boss’s. Thanks for the great advice,
Good advice but ain’t no way I’m waiting 7 years to move up while dealing with an incompetent boss!! There’s other jobs out there!
"Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer"
You have to remember something about Jocko, he was in the military. Those guys don't stay at one command for more than a few years, then they get promoted and get a better position at another command or they leave military when their contract is up. That dude above you is never going to say anything about you other than he's an "okay" worker, otherwise it will threaten his position and chance to advance also. He doesn't understand that you could be under the same people for 20 years, working for people who will take credit for everything you do and tell their bosses that they have workers who do just enough to not be worth spending time training new people to replace them.
Great advice, especially for where I am at in my career. Jocko always helps bring me back down to reality.
Two minutes in and there it is. My job and my professionalism is more important than my ego and my criticality of other people.
Im like this at the moment- i am a hard worker and would constantly get in early and do more shifts, would volunteer for things etc... asking for opportunities to grow and how i could do better in my job etc to maybe step up my career in the future. however after doing this for the last 7 years working solidly (maybe making a few mistakes along the way lol ) it just all got thrown back in my face so now im over it and now just focusing on getting my job done and then going home lol 😅.
Its not worth my time or energy anymore to work more than my collegues just to have thrown back in my face and not to be appreciated .
hey man i found your videos today, watched a bunch of them that relate to work situations, like this one and dealing with anger issues, anxiety, stress, etc. and your videos have helped me a LOT. i recently found myself yelling at my coworkers because they do these random dumb things and just watching and learning these videos theyve helped me calm down completely and find ways of dealing with these issues in a more constructive way and reducing my stress, anxiety 10 fold. ty
If you give him all the credit and do all the work he will wanna keep you.. He will never promote you.
💯💯🎯🎯
So basically support a poor boss? No thanks. Might work in the military as most bosses are replaced every 2 years or less. Not so with a "real" job. This is horrible advice.
Jackalope Slim Some jobs think they operate like the military, even though they arent.
you need to read Machiavelli! first signs of you going after him he will crush you.
Definitely the best solution is to switch within the company or find a completely different job if management won’t support you.
@@charliedallachie3539 But you won't learn anything and you'll carry around a lack of experience you probably don't even notice, or don't want to.
I experience it. A bad leader is a formidable source of training. Jocko is right, if you build a good relationship, you're basically in charge. The better you perform the sooner the boss will move, especially if it's the very ambitious type.
But more importantly, you will take that experience with you, moving to another team, company or own projects. It's not about the boss. Of course if the person is a cancer on two legs, lost cause of mankind, you leave.
Never ever support a poor boss. This type of boss does not deserve anyone's support, to be honest.
So this seal is basically teaching you how to be disloyal to yourself.
Bad managers are usually signs of bad company, which is a sign that you shouldn't want to be promoted above him on the first place
Work efficiently but, keep in mind, don't let a bad manager know just how competent you truly are.
I work my ass off every day. When my uncle died, I didn't take any days off. When my grandpa died, I didn't take any days off. When my best friend killed himself, I still didn't take in any days off. I show up early, I stay late. I work as fast as I can with buyback, truck, or any other task I receive. I do more than what is expected. If a manager tells me to do no retail, I'll do no retail and the go back cart. I do more than what is expected. I do audits consistently every shift, even when some managers forget to do them. I pick up their slack. If I see something that needs to be done, I do it. I work faster than my team and I get more done. But I keep receiving hyper criticism from management regarding my attitude problem. We all have flaws. I observed flaws in managers, every day, but I do not say anything. Yet, I am frequently reminded about the fact that I am disrespectful and aggressive. I've asked for specific examples, and very few managers can provide me with any. For the specific examples I've received, I say Roger that, I'll fix it, no excuses. And I fix it. But now I am receiving intangible criticism regarding how I say things. My manager recently told me I said something disrespectful to her. I asked her what I said. I said, "You're welcome" aggressively. I say what I need to quickly, concisely, and then I move on to what needs to be done. I do not waste time talking to coworkers. While some coworkers talk and jack off for 5 minutes at a time without doing any work, I say what I need to say and I get back to work. I take extreme ownership and I do not make any excuses. But I do not understand how I can work my ass off without being a little bit aggressive. I channel my anger and use it to achieve maximum productivity. I am the highest performer at work, but people do not like working with me because I am too aggressive. I do not know how to fix this problem. I say the right things, but I guess I say them in a way that sounds disrespectful. I say yes sir, no sir, yes mam, no mam, Roger that, no excuses. But apparently my tone is rude. How do I fix this problem?
Says copy that,, try that
Get a new job. Why the fuck would you stay in a shithole like that when you have to skill set and work ethic to be at another place?
A lot of good advice here. “Doing it right” is the vague destroyer to his point though. It’s ok to recognize all your hard work n. In vane.
i have no idea who this guy is, but he probably never had a corporate job. ...he's probably some MMA guy
This guy is stupid .
This seems manipulative and dishonorable. I love Jocko, but I'm not into this line of thinking. Jocko also assumes a perfect system and structure where hard work and integrity eventually shine through. There are many organizations where that is not the case at all.
@@markr1461 Well if you work in a corrupted environment doesn't make Jocko wrong
Bad bosses dont follow a code of ethics and may in fact actively keep a high performer down
I can see both sides of this. I am currently working for a very political company who promotes in a totally illogical manner. Last week the lowest performer in the group was promoted to management - This was after she was instrumental in running the person out, that had the position prior.
I am coming to the realization that my work ethic IS threatening, that it is time for me to throttle back how hard I have been working . If I'm getting all the work done, then the boss is happy but I'm not getting an opportunity to lead because I am working alone. So, it's time for me to put in just above what the rest are doing, to get that help that I should have been getting from the beginning, then I will have something to work with. At my company it is lazy, dishonest people who are getting promoted. It's sickening.
Unfortunately I agree with you on this one. Jocko is right, but as you say not all jobs will recognise integrity and willingness to work.
Sorry, Jocko, but you’re wrong here. In the Navy and the Marine Corps that may work because the promotion process is removed from your current reporting senior and based on manpower requirements. Your reporting senior only has influence on your immediate performance evaluation. But in business, when your boss is the obstacle to you getting promoted because of the way promotion path is structured, no amount of ass kissing will get you promoted above them. In many structures, the only way to get promoted is to be recognized by someone outside of your “chain”. And then you would need to be moved to a different path to try to get promoted above your previous boss. I agree with most of what you said from the military lens, but not from the corporate lens.
Leaders have ways to sabotage the successes of their underlings.
In the military, the smart man sees the guy who is better than him and trains with him to get better,
In the civilian world...the better guy is now a threat to the leader and has to be removed.
Seen both sides and wow, what a difference between the two sides
"Jacko is good to go. He can work with anyone. He worked with Bill who is an egomaniac and he's worked with Mike who is a lazy bastard." Damn, those are the words I needed to here this morning before heading into work. My boss is too toxic.
What a toilet we live in.
Smfh.
PERFECT! Thank you for the example! I’ve been struggling with a control freak who won’t let us make our own documents and the proofing before they’re sent out en mass is awful. I don’t aspire to run things, but I love my job, just not her.
The bosses that disappear are the best bosses. Those are the ones that force you into situations to do things yourself, and you learn and grow at an incredibly fast rate when that happens. Those are the bosses that allow you space to grow confident in yourself and the job.
If your boss is a narcissist none of what jocko just said will do a damn thing, the only answer to abusive boss or workplace is to leave, your job’s replaceable, your home life, mental health and health are not.
There were some interesting points brought up about how to handle this type of boss. If this work structure is temporary then this could be great advice. If it’s a permanent situation keep in mind that switching firms consistently outpaces the pay raises you get from staying. Part of getting over one’s ego is realizing they’re in an untenable or crappy situation.
When he said Bill is lazy and Mike is stupid these perfectly describe why I'm here. But what's so funny and ironic is that these are actual people in my workplace with the same name and description. Jocko thank you for this.
After 2 years of working for this company and training others, always being the yes person with a 3% raise iv finally dared to say no to training a new supervisor who was hired over me i said: "I am confident that at this time, my primary focus should be on increasing my call count and maximizing my bonuses to ensure a substantial increase in my income. “Once mastered I'll be ready to assist others not only in providing excellent knowledge but also training in maximizing productivity. I’m feeling a bit burnt out at this time, so I need some time to regroup myself and improve.
This channel has helped propel me to the next level. I'm addicted to feeding my mind with all you speak of man.. Thank u.. just got the book and dove right in..
What I did was to focus on whatever my a-hole boss thought that was most important and didnt do anything else while I looked for a new job. After 3 months I found a new job and I got the hell out of there.
The mans right if your an "ACE" its gonna show in time. You will go crazy with the mindset of"I do EVERYTHING and my supervisor is lazy" That doesnt make u look like a good employee, it makes u look weak. No Big time CEO or Executive wants to hear complaining. You wont hear an ACE complaining and announcing everything EXTRA they do and how its "UNFAIR". You say absolutely "I got you". Remember when your a good worker you are going to be WORKING its not gonna be handed to u. To this day when I speak in passing with The Owner or A partner of the company I work for on a friday I always tell them about how "I hate fridays, thats two days Im not here being awesome"
Great vid Amigo
I work for a grocery store and my bosses are absolutely terrible. They think they talk down to me because I have a disability my opinion. I do my best every time so I’m asking how can I get myself to keep myself from screaming?
Unless you really love the type of work you’re doing and the company, life’s too short to work for a shitty boss. You’ll grow so much more professionally on a high performing team with a boss you actually like. Not worth waiting around for years for your shitty boss to leave the company. Then YOU end up becoming the shitty boss.
Can also lead to psychotic break
Jocko's advice may have worked about 25, or 35 years ago; but this stuff isn't going to fly today. The millennials, and Gen-Zers just don't give a fuck, and they'll just up and quit a job in a heartbeat. Their methods seem to be working too, since employers, and other large corporations have certainly taken notice, and have gone damn near insane in spending loads of money to figure them out.
Yeah where I work, there is no young people. They just leave. Legit just leave if they are treated badly
Which is a good thing because people are starting to wake up.
I would strongly advice not to bend to anybody. The "bad" boss may be fully conscious of what he is doing (he may be smarter than expected) and it will only back fire on the employee if it is the case, since the employee will have more grudge and will self-depreciate. Furthermore, it is not because the boss is well connected that he will necessarily speak in good favor of the hard working employee. The boss may potentially be an A-hole. The best to do here is to tough it up and find another job while doing so. I have been in many situations in the past few years where bosses only wanted to look good and get promoted without having anything to bring to the table while shitting and micromanaging their subordinates. I do not know how it was in the past, but I can tell that it is now everyone for themselves. However, I concur that in the military it is different since you can physically see who does what, how and what the real results are. On the other hand, it may not be the case for the officers especially senior officers that are most of the time bureaucrats.
Jako has a point of view. Here's mine.
If you lower your head for any reason to someone else, then you can't stop that moment from repeating itself through your memory. Don't let people talk down to you. Stand up for yourself as soon as they act the way they do. What's the worst thing that could happen? Fired?
Lol my boss had me picking up and driving home a coworker who (nobody mentioned before I agreed) lived 20 minutes away. So, it was 40 mins of driving, and 40 after work both ways. This went on for about 3 months. The guy gave me $5 once. But if I didn’t pick him up, we’d be down a cook (he was the head cook,) and then it would be me filling his spot every time. They really had me so hard by the balls… that was last year. And I’ve still gotten no raise. Multi billion dollar company, and even $2 is too much. Worked at another location prior, was my first job. When I left my managers basically told me I should find somewhere else to work. Said “we just care about you and would hate to see you get taken advantage of). I was the one who said “nahh I’ll give it a shot”. Few months later, I’m in that predicament. Not to mention it’s understaffed, yet takes on more customers than literally any other restaurant in the area. Blood pressure is so high after my shifts and I’m 24
I agree with this 💯💯 it's a skill worth mastering. Gotta learn how to navigate your way around toxic bosses because they are everywhere, changing jobs doesn't guarantee safety either. Might as well learn how to deal with these suckers instead of always running! Great advice, it takes emotional maturity !
- good relationship with da bouss
- throttle back a bit
- give credit to da bouss
- put your EGO in check
- be mission accomplished man
jesus you missed the whole point of the video dumbass
Nah
Sounds like bootlick advice, your boss can create his own credit , everybody else has to learn how to bring value. Stop playing into the game pwussy
@gmailacct9496 you replied to yourself a year later?
I was almost writing a stupid email complaining.
Now a change of heart..
Feeling emotionally unhealthy because of my dictatorial boss. Coming here, it's an IV of positivity I need, thank you.
Swallowing my pride right now. I’m going to build a solid relationship with my boss. Thank you so much for doing this video, it is an answer to my prayers
-"Why do something that you don't want to do, when you have the choice to do what you truly want to do"
Passivity never leads to good results, and I'm sick of these types of passive advice about dealing with a horrible and toxic manager. In fact, it makes your manager take liberties and abuse you even more but will never give you what you deserve. It has nothing to do with ego but humanity and self-respect. I have seen this numerous times, and it never ends well. Managers do not respect cowards. They will afford you respect if you show them from the beginning that you are not to be messed with. You must confront their first horrible behaviour in a professional, respectful but firm manner, and ensure you tell them in a firm manner to desist from repeating such behaviour moving forward. If you let a manager's disrespectful behaviour pass the first time round without confronting it head on, you will forever be his/her prey. I speak from experience. I have always been super assertive when dealing with toxic managers, and in fact, they were so afraid of me that I always got what I wanted, e.g., promotion, salary increase, time off, etc. I always treated firm and fair managers with respect, but toxic and bullying manager were put in their place. They were so afraid of me that an outsider looking in would think I was the manager, and that's exactly how I wanted to deal with such toxic managers. As the saying goes... it it better to be feared than loved. In similarity, I have seen weak co-workers who were practically bullied by such managers do everything to try to appease these disgusting people, yet they never were promoted or given benefits. In fact, their passivity was an invitation for more abuse (sometimes physical abuse). You are employed by a company to provide a service because you have something they want in return for a salary. You are not employed to be abused, degraded, or humiliated by one of their managers. People (no matter who they are) will treat you in a way that you've allowed them to treat you. Have some dignity.
This advise will NEVER work for a Narcissist! The narcissist will always find a way to make you look bad just don’t even play that silly game. Quit
The main problem happens when you put unprofessional and unskilled people as managers (even for a small group of people).
Interesting. But I don't want to build a relationship and don't even want to get promoted. I just want to do my job without having to deal with a hands on clueless boss who messes my work.
gotta be a little Machiavellian
Jocko you son of a gun, you always get me pumped!
Check your ego and get the job done. Build the relationship and get after it. Epic Jocko.
If you have a crap manager, be polite but focus on finding a better job somewhere else. There's even a chance your bad bosses company will ask you to come back at a higher level in a year or two. This has happened to me before. Sticking it out with a bad boss and trying to win him over is a waste of time and energy.
"Just live a lie! It's so simple. Just wear a fake smile and ignore your actual feelings by becoming deceitful. Abandon any virtues related to truth to focus on the football game. Not wanting to live a lie means you've got a bad attitude."
I appreciate the optimism and can do attitude, but employing these tactics in the world of finance I have found quite difficult. Not all playing fields are level.
BTF BTF BTF
professionalism over emotions
Thanks Jocko, I appreciate your unique perspective.
This reminds me of the best advice my mom gave me
“I don’t care how you pass your classes but you better pass your classes”
What Jocko is saying is gold and something I learned very young. You will never have a perfect situation especially at work. Listen to this free game because it is exactly how you move up. Don’t keep leaving places, burning bridges and opportunities thinking the grass is greener because it never is. If you see room for growth or see any opportunity learn to be the subject matter expert humbly build and refine your character through this adversity because it will sharpen you as a man because This is wisdom that will carry you into difference aspects of life and when you start interfacing with life with this mindset you will level up
I love it when management staying the f’king office and let’s me work. I wouldn’t give a damn if they never show up honestly
Same
Yeah.... My toxic boss literally sent other employees in the department to break apart the working relationship /support / friendship between myself and a colleague the boss considers to "be hers.""
This included using one of her attack dog flying monkeys to plant rumors about my incompetence and "inappropriate behaviors" ( which included such scandalous behaviors as walking to the parking lot with my colleague and giving birthday cards to fellow employees)
My support system at work is trashed, my colleague hardly interacts with me anymore.
F using my boss. It is time to get out.
So, in essence, building a good relationship with your boss means either to 1) Throttle back your work ethic to not make him anxious or 2) To work full speed but give him the credit?
Really needed this pep talk today! Cant leave the job yet, and I dont want to drag down moral of my crew just because my boss is rude to me.
I work in a Nursing home I have a bad manager and supervisor. They both work 1st shift and get multiple complaints. Room do not be ready for new admissions. On my shift I get hit with all the extra work, no complaints. My co workers ask me why dont i tell administration, you know go trick on them. But i tell them no. I never knew why but from watching this video now i know why. Im also in the military and have had bad PL's. But i just dealt with it. Did whats important. Now at my current job and at my current unit im a factor. Things fall when im not there. All because my bad bosses gave me the opportunity to perform. So Jocko thanks for this. I didnt have my "why" before. Now I do. Jocko thanks. Your podcast is everything!
This is the best 5:03 of video I've ever seen on TH-cam. I think my mother has been trying to get this very same message through to me for years, and I finally get it.