The Real Way To Build Confidence
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2023
- Watch the full episode here - • Chris Williamson: The ...
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Full episode here: th-cam.com/video/K2tGt2XWd9Q/w-d-xo.html
Thank you
Hey Chris/his team, this link is not taking us straight through. Much love from the UK
I have to see this! This is by far 1 of the best shorts I've ever seen!
So straight to the point ✨️
"You can't feel your way into acting better; but you CAN act your way into feeling better"
no you cant :) some ppl with depression or no sense of purpose cant do that.
@elise I believe it was Confucius who said "He who says he Can and He who says he Can Not are both usually correct"
Bang on!
But when the desired result doesn't come even after taking action...then action means nothing
@vaishakh6635
You still feel better knowing you tried and gave it your best shot.
"Action breeds confidence & courage. Inaction breeds doubt and fear" - Dale Carnagie
“It’s more effective use actions to improve your thinking than to try and use thinking to improve your actions.”
well I use both :)
What I'm having a hard time considering, is how does the body move without instructions from the brain?
Yeah afterall emotions have nothing to do with what needs to be done
@@vaishakh6635 actually men have emotions too and all the decisions we make are emotions and hormones based... depends on how we feel in that time line and if we are mentally balanced. yes we need to make a list on what needs to be done and how when we are feeling well rested and try not to derail from it when tired and angry but its still emotions based... if you are well you take better decisions.
@@elise9537 yeah,we control our emotions better when we know what needs to be done
“Stop breaking promises to yourself” YESSS
It's easier said than done 😢 I struggle with this
@@scotthearts9634 well maybe stop it see what the problem focus you got this
actually real advice do some meditation or sommething take care of yourself have a purpose or say fif I break promises .im being the same. The pain of doing something is nothing compared to the pain of doing nothing meaning if you dont do nothing is way worse than the pain of doing something.
There's a line in the film "The Equaliser". Denzil's character is training his colleague to be a security guard, and he tells that guy:
"Progress, not perfection."
Perfection is very difficult to reach, but progress can be made easily.
Like many others in this comment section, it's like he's addressing me exactly. That's me. I sabotage myself and break promises to myself all of the time.
This is what I needed to hear. Watching endless videos in the name of 'improvement' won't help, but doing what you have promised to yourself will. Thanks mate.
Action is the first step, no matter how small.
I started this by making sure I went to sleep on time and woke up early 3 times in the week. Now it's every day, and it feels amazing
There are days i dont wanna go to the gym but i force myself to go. Havent regretted that, not even once.
The same with me with running
isn't interesting that we never regret going to the gym, even if it was a shitty work out. But we always regret and feel bad if we miss 1 work out?
Same, not sure what hormones are being released, but the feeling after a workout you didn't look foward to, is amazing.
So simple, but such good advice. Learning to trust yourself and proving that you’re someone that you can count on is invaluable. I’m working on it.
It's a simple advice and it "makes sense" yet it's extremely hard to put into practice. It's the same as giving someone overweight an advise on how to lose weight - "eat less, eat whole foods, move". So simple. So true. So hard to do.
There's a reason why so many people follow countless number of productivity, motivation, life, resilience, whatever else, coaches, creators, scientist. If knowledge was what helps create change this wouldn't be a multi billion dollar industry. It is, because people keep consuming the same content repackaged in different ways, because they think they need to learn just one more thing and things will "just click".
Not how it works, unfortunately.
ACTION HAS TO COME FIRST HELL YEAH
Action conquers fear…
Move a muscle, change a thought!
This is some good advice. Here's the best advice I can offer to someone who suffers from procrastination due to depression: make a written list of all your tasks that you need to complete, even if it's as simple as cleaning out your room. Make sure you complete at least ONE task a day. Problem you face by leaving tasks to compile is that the list gets bigger and you're overwhelmed. If you do a few of these tasks, starting with the most basic, you'll end up having an empty list. This will relive so much pressure off your shoulder and reduce your anxiety.
Tried going full positive for just one month straight. _Everybody_ around me, home, work, strangers & my own children were _absolutely_ ready to kill me! So, I had to stop, for my _own_ safety. 😂😂😂
I think there's a saying that goes actions speak louder than words and a good night's rest comes from a hard Day's work.
I feel what has always worked for me is changing the way I say certain things to myself. What many people do is that they plan to make changes or improvements in their life by saying the phrase "I am going to do this" or "I have to do this". As human beings what happens when we do that is we subconsciously feel like we are forcing ourselves to do something we don't want or need. And as creatures of free will we can never give our best when we feel like we are being forced. So we have already made the act to improve a lot more difficult than it has to be before we even start.
What I think is a better approach is to change the phrase from "I am going to do this" to "I want to do this". "I want to wake up at 7 am tomorrow", "I want to go the gym today", etc. And it might be difficult initially because our words are not really matching the way we feel. But after repeating this a few times what this ends up doing is gradually programming our minds into thinking that these are not things that we have to do but are things that we want to do, hence making it a lot easier.
This is so true it comes down to self betrayal, you have a soul and it wants things use your brain to figure them out and your body to go do and experience
Thanks Chris, i think i needed this. Amidst alot of turmoil and fickle life circumstances one needs words that kick you in the ass from time to time...the way you word it also makes it easier to accept, thanks for that man and your awesome work :)
hugs! hope life gets better for you
And break things into smaller pieces and do it piecemeal. Chris is right about what he’s saying
I agree if you had to pick between affirmation & action, action is the more crucial of the two however some people are crippled by fear & need affirmation to get going & keep going.
Chris, you are a godsend. Watching your podcast and clips that are posted by you or your team are just a breath of fresh air and motivate me to thrive to be my better self.
Looking back at items checked off of one's "To Do List" (even if they are small items) can help tremendously in this regard.
Winning action have to come first
This gets tricky when you're a scapegoat raised by a narcissist. Their very survival was dependent upon taking on the role of being a failure. Feeling anything good about themselves will feel like a mortal threat. Feeling pride, or confidence, or accomplished is too dangerous, and will be crushed which will further reinforce the tragically necessary feeling of worthlessness. Gotta take it slow, be aware this will happen every time you start feeling good about yourself, and slowly retrain your nervous system that these feelings are safe. Internal Family Systems is an excellent model to help with this.
Yo this is actually really good insight and advice. Thanks dude.
This is so true. Little successes lead to big ones. If you haven't had a win in a long time, it creeps into your mentality.
You can just build yourself up with little wins which will give you the confidence to reach further.
Doing what you say you're gonna do is key
I don’t watch Chris religiously every day or every week but somehow he has this habit of popping up on my feed with the exact info I needed to hear when I needed it. Great content man, really inspiring and guiding
Omg. I feel called out. Even when i try to think positively and try to be nicer to myself, i just think im gaslighting myself into being ok with my current state. Like i need to be harsh to myself in order to be honest and objective.
I think this kind of advice is great for people who aren’t already very high achieving. In college I was extremely high strung and high achieving, stressed as fuck, as had an intense hatred of myself. In that circumstance it wasn’t about proving to myself I’m a good person by doing more. I was already doing too much. In that instance it really was a slow and brutal process of consciously recognizing my negative self talk and deliberately correcting it. Over and over and over. For years. Now I’m in a lot better place.
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). The key is not to bee silent so az to avoid hurting someone's Confidence the key is also not to shower a person in only positive feedback that wud build their Confidence r worse to lie to a person so that their Confidence increases the key is to communicate the tRUTH to them in a way that considers r caretakes their Confidence
This is why i looking up mental health videos. You will find the one you need to hear and the ones you cant unhear!
Totally agree, I’m sick of being told to live laugh love myself into confidence when I hate myself more than anyone ever could. I try to tell myself I accept myself into believing it but I never will, I came here for the final straw of trying to help myself. Let’s try it your way and see what happens I guess, I’m at my end limit.
Don't try to think positively, just act.
Facts don’t think just do. consistent actions will tuffin yo mind make yo thoughts more confident positive long term discipline 🧠💪💪💯
Thank you so much. I’m starting a new job today and truly appreciate your advice.
Don't make up the positive talk. Start with what is true. I suck at keeping my house clean. But I'm smart. I have a good job. I'm successful. I'm kind. Then, the things you don't like, work to change those. Become someone you can be proud of. And keep the true positive self talk coming. Don't bullshit yourself. But notice your strengths.
True! Facing fears and taking action!
This is SO true. You can only think so lowly of yourself when you know for a fact that you’re taking meaningful, impactful action on a regular basis.
When I first graduated from college I was jobless, aimless, and constantly battling crippling self-esteem.
Since then, I’ve become a teacher (I had basically zero qualifications to do so when I first started.) 1) My work is truly difficult, but I do it and do my best anyway, and 2) I’m committing my daily life to cultivating growth and success in others. I can’t imagine doing more tangibly meaningful work, and the respect I have for my work has translated into respect for myself. ❤
I have found the best way for me to deal with insecurities is to get stacks of cash. The more stacks, the better I feel about myself. No relationships, no happiness, just stacks of cash to throw at every problem. So far it's been working, but to each their own 😆.
^the thinking man no one but himself thought we needed
That is the cold hard truth. It’s our actions that make a difference, not wishful thinking.
Competence builds Confidence
I needed to hear this today!
Deliberate doing nothing is deliberate doing something
Actions speaks louder than words
I love this man.
I needed this !! Yess to all he said
action speaks louder than words, even to your own mind
It would never cross my mind that you've dealt with this feeling.😢
From the bottom of my heart, thank you
I did not know that's what I needed
Amen to that.... I've had that for 40 years...
Chris, thank you, inagine the amount of people on the verge who you are helping. Is there even anything greater than that?
Thank you. Truly Grateful Struggling with this at this Moment
finally! someone understands
Thanks Chris. I needed this reminder.
I'm always glass is half empty kind of guy, I have to fake being positive till I make it. But we can't change who we are at core, we can only manipulate it daily.😅
You can change your unconscious thoughts. You can. ❤
Exactly! 👍🔥❤️⭐
"Action Builds Confidence and self-esteem, Regardless of any Outcome" the late ARC
Example: I say hello to an attractive woman I pass in the street and she snubs me, it takes nothing away from how I feel good about myself having overcome any anxiety to act.
Yes, thats what i have learned the hard way over the last few years
Can’t express how much I needed this…
Have the condidence of being yourself.
Thank you, liked and subscribed. While I'm a successful software Executive this is the first time I've ever heard of, "Imposter Syndrome" which after receiving coaching from my COO this morning, I realize that's what's been ailing me my entire life. Now it's time to fix it. Thank you again.
Spot on!!!! Great advice.
Great tips. Thank you for giving examples.
I’m that person as well. Thanks for this. Very informative
Where is the full episode?
The guy is speaking of complete experience
Very helpful information! Thank you! 🎉🎉
Thank you for this!
Needed this ❤️🙏🏿
It's all about having unwavering self respect and self love. You need to do whatever is required for you to esteem yourself. Whatever will make you feel absolutely 100% self assured, happy, at total peace, and totally comfortable in your own mind without anyone else.
JUST DO IT
Emotion follows action, not the other way around.
This is such a GREAT piece of advice!
So true.
Needed this today
Thanks Chris
solid advice.
I hate how much this resonates
So I'm doing this thing where I'm just trying to look at various sources that tell me about confidence. And I'm starting here.
What do you need to build confidence:
1) Action: Eat the biggest frog first. Before showing anyone else, show yourself that you're in control.
Great advice 👍 ❤
It's more about having a fuck u mentality and putting yourself first
Solid advice!
Maybe certain people prefer doing it that way, but I'd just point out that concrete proof of action is used as a measurement metric for symbolic reassurance here, as in you don't have to feel insufficient if you didn't write a blog per day, and that absence of action is not in itself proof to the contrary that you have nothing to show for.
You can do action to achieve results, but you can also feel assured with or without meeting an action quota.
wow, thanks i needed it
Wish it. Want it. Do it.
This man loves himself
Thank you.
I don't understand why so many successful people are talking surface level things like this, maybe they haven't explored themselves enough.
Lack of confidence is a problem of lack of power, not lack of motivation. You have motivation, but don't have power to act upon your desires.
You feel like loser not because you hit the snooze button. You feel like loser because your feel you are doing something wrong for hitting the snooze button and you have to explain it to others.
To gain confidence you need to stop explaining your actions to others. For that you need to be independent with money first. The sense of autonomy is what you need.
Yes!!
Thank you. I know this is right
Thanks gang
That's epic Chris 💪🙏
How I make everyday a great day 🎉
Awesome advice
Insufficiency of what?
Setting alarms cleaning a room doing the dishes are not sufficient enough to believe in success out side of the home. I measurably do well but its just not good enough.
I used to be confident in myself, but i dont know what happened to me growing up
Bro!! You spoke to me on this!!! Is there a long form discussion of this on your channel?