"Narcissist have no problem embarrassing you or accusing you of something you're not guilty of but they will go bonkers when you do the same to them" everyday I deal will this i cant even think straight.
Having a very hard time getting him to leave. He’s lived with me for 3 years and thinks I owe him part of the equity my house has earned since he’s lived there
@@Fattaz35 Talk to an attorney. He came to live with you. Any money he contributed was rent. He has no lease. Talk to women in crisis, they perhaps can direct you to an attorney! Gather your facts, don’t tell him ANYTHING! Make it a pleasant surprise, or he will play you for a fool!
He always boasted about being a logical thinker when in reality his nonsensical thinking and statements could make my head spin! Took me over 33 years to wake up & see what he really is! I finally told him "you go do you. I'm going to go do me." The healing process has proven to be much more difficult than I imagined. But I'm moving out of the darkness and shackles and into the light! Peace to anyone going through this type of relationship. 🙏
Good for you! First sentence instantly reminded me of the last face-to-face conversation with my mom... in a way hilarious, if it wasn't so sad and damaging if it goes uncaught.
They thrive on keeping your wits unbalanced! And they hate it when you catch them lying/irrational ploy to keep their circus act going. 🎬 You notice they actually hate everything about you? Then have no problem living /sharing meals /kids/ house with you. It's so 2 faced ! After they gutted you their are proud of it. So you feel like you can't get better or do better for you. These are the most Pathetic people . And better late than never seeing this .Only then you will start living and breathing one day at a time debunking their crap they put u through. Plow forward!
Silver lining (one of many) of going through narc abuse hell is superskills in critical thinking and hypocrisy identification! Making sense of their smoke and mirrors is crucial🤯
@@reneataylor5106 Yeah, like my little "adhd" Blew 💥up, into Full -Blown *"ADHD"**!! The eXtremely severe "c-PTSD" seemed to 💥 up Other subclinical issues? & Learning disability. ... Mild 'Dysgraphia' /(4 Writing) -> became impossibly Severe! As well as, SLP/ Speech Thx, issues, from Early School Days "flaring" up, ... or, - New ones! Too many Dangerous ppl Out there! ~ It $uKs when they're "Loved ones" who could care less, if you're alive. ;-( 3 Narc sibs! 😭 💔 😱
Only people who lived this hell with these Pathetic people I listen to. Lisa gets it and lived it ! That's why I ❤ Lisa.. No BS! Her personal stories helps me to connect my own path to healing. I get exactly what she went through and how she felt ! Makes you feel less alone. Thank Lisa .
I knew something was wrong with the lady I befriended after I gotten to really know her. We would have conversations and I would find myself saying that doesn't make any sense.
I was luckier than most I think. Almost immediately, I knew something was not right about her. What's crazy is I started researching codependency to try to deal with whatever it is was bothering me. I stumbled on the narcissism and out of curiosity decided to take a look. The more I learned about it the more I realized she hit every button on the panel. But it's not that simple, I was with her about 2 months when I realized she was a narcissist. A year and almost 5 months later and we're still talking. I broken up with her dozens and dozens of times but she never gives up and I always give in. The longest I think I've ever lasted was a few weeks maybe a month. I'm 46 years old and I'd never been arrested until I met her, I'd never been homeless until I met her, Id never been cut off from my family until I met her, I think you get the picture. They are out to destroy you. If you're hanging from a cliff they will reach out their hand, start to pull you up and just as youre thinking of a way to thank them, they let go. That's personally the best way I can describe it. I struggle with other issues which actually may be a hidden blessing because it's going to take me away from her and isolate me. I just got to get there, which has been a struggle.
Oh lord your description on the cliff is perfect in describing my mother. Where I'm the only one of her kids still helping her. I literally saved her life for a 4th time. She knows if she doesn't leave me the house when she passes away, she's old and sick, my daughter and I will be homeless. The house isn't worth much and after the loans are paid from its sale I may be able to rent a little place for my daughter and I while we get on our feet and go through grieving. However, my mom will say I should give you the house. I will. Then turn around and not put it in writing. Then said, "you don't deserve the house". Then what? I'm 41 with two college degrees but I have health problems, and my siblings are all married and quite well to do. They don't need the small amount of money left from this broken down house. My daughter and I desperately do. Wow. Thanks for that analogy.
Dude, my first love which only lasted a year and ten months is exactly as you described. I am now an obsessed stalker and I’m blocked on everything, yet like 3 days prior to leaving me I made her soooooo happy, can’t believe a word they fucking say. The twisted thing is I would take her back if she wanted it but I know that’s never going to happen. I noticed early on that, like you said, she was a narcissist but I didn’t look into it at all, I really should’ve…
Same. I figured out that he has some serious issues very quickly. The first two weeks of talking, I immediately ended things with him. I naively came back after a two month separation thinking that maybe I was being too hard on him and boy was that a mistake. Spent the next 3 months being invalidated, dismissed, accused, told that nothing I was doing was good enough and then eventually discarded and probably replaced. He says he didn't have anyone else but I know that's probably not true. It was rough. I genuinely have nothing good to say about that man. The worse part is that he presents himself as a caring and kind man on social media. Its disgusting!
It's so sad to know others have experienced similar situations I've experienced. I've filed for a divorce after a year of separation. My days are now filled with love and appreciation. I'm loving myself. I've decided I deserve to be living a life full of love and happiness. Everybody deserves all the love and happiness in the world. A lot of genuine love and care comes through on your videos. Thank you for being gentle, yet forthright.❤
Thank you. This made everything so so clear. I was always thinking NONE of this makes sense. Other people can't suffer but the narc can be a victim even when their actions come back to say hi. They think they are above consequences so they think their suffering is ill given or someone wished them ill. Sigh, they really are pitiful. Can't believe I got involved with someone so superficial and soul-sucking.
Don't feel bad our friend happens to the best of us that's where we live and learn pick up the pieces and move on from there and don't repeat the same mistake no more
My abuser always boasted to me that he never lied, and when I called him out saying I see you lie to everyone every day his reply was “you know that’s just to keep people at a distance”. Or he would call me sneaky and a thief while he was the one stealing food from the store for our business! I still don’t understand how my head didn’t explode from the contradictions
Thank you for letting me know I'm not Insane.... I'm never going down a Rabbit Hole like that again... I actually thought I could show a Narc how to treat me. Boy, was I in for a ride.
My husband always throws tantrum when i ask additional questions to clarify what he's saying. Or i refer to what he said before doesn't match or doesn't makes sense. He reaaaallly doesn't like me "thinking" he expects me to take whatever at face value.
This one really gets to me, they want your attention, you mustn't look away it bothers them greatly and they will call you out on it, they must have your empathy, but when it's you expressing yourself they have zero empathy for you and don't pay attention to you AT ALL, you call them out, they gaslight you.. It's like banging your head against brick wall over and over again believing you're gonna break through next time.. I just realized what they have and i don't is LACK OF CONSCIENCE, they feel no guilt belittling, shaming, humiliating and downright insult me, but i can't do the same to them because well i have conscience, i would feel guilty and i really don't want to feel guilty.
My own experience with a Boy-Scout Covert Narcissist, was an 8 1/2 year tour through 2 years of good, then 6 1/2 years through hell. Every word Lisa says is spot on TRUTH! The ONLY healthy way to deal with them, is not to play their game. GET OUT! Even if you have no idea how, MAKE a way. Or there will be a painful & devastating end! I say this because I lived it. It cost me emotionally, spiritually, physically & financially! GET AWAY from this type of vampire, unless you like the Rollercoaster ride & devastating end.
Yes - GET OUT and AWAY from those narcs. I lived 12 years with a covert and high-range narc until I make it to get out. That's 13 month ago and will NEVER or EVER go back!
After living surrounded with narcs, for 40 years+ knowing this stuff has liberated me, so now it's actually time to start living. I'm not here to serve others, fix things, etc, however actually still would in the right circumstances, because I'm very giving and caring. Discernment is number one. I'll never change my nature,or the narcs have won. Someone genuine will understand why it takes a while to trust them, or why I'm slightly 'stand off-ish'
You are not your life circumstances! What was, happened....the best is to yet come! Have faith and strive to be better for yourself 1st. And it will flow into your parenting and finding a stable relationship ❣
He told me the way that I think about things is wrong. Mind you, this was after he got me fired. I was so shocked, hurt and angry, and when I confronted him about it he shifted blame, called me verbally abusive, tried to lie and gaslight me, he got aggressive and threatened to block me. I did myself a favour and accepted that I didn't need to hear an apology from him because he wasn't sorry. He had done exactly as he had intended. So, I cut him out of my life. Haven't spoken to him in 5 months. He's absolutely dead to me. And life hasn't been more beautiful! I'm working on myself and appreciating myself, which I feel was my true lesson.
I wish someone would make a video about how to deal with the injustice of how you’ve been treated by one of these monsters. Even though I’ve cut him off completely, I’m eaten up with rage and also regret at how I fell into the traps he set to get the required reaction from his enablers. My reaction to his constant cheating, belittling me in front of his friends, asking for money back I lent him, being late for absolutely everything, sometimes leaving me waiting for him for hours in bad weather without answering his phone, all of it was used by him for sympathy because I was so demanding. He’s now posting pics of us on social media saying I’m the love of his life and he’d take me back “no matter how I’ve treated him”. I can’t stand people believing stuff about me that is not true when people who really know me know I don’t get into conflict easily. I comfort myself by thinking maybe he doesn’t know what he is doing. I can’t believe someone would purposely mentally abuse someone and trash their character for attention.
Been there for my whole life.. Still going on. There is ocean of such memories buried inside and volcano of it makes I even worse. Yes, Injustice! I always do believe I can't help it. I have to just let it go. As there's no one who can punish them.
I never can believe all of a sudden knowing that such people are elsewhere in the world and this is not just happening to me . This is absolutely what happened to me . You know what … let me tell you what is the basic fault with them is that they are … have not grown up being themselves . Everything has been done for them and they have not developed into individual beings . So the in confidence , insecurity , co dependence , defending their weak self , struggling to put up a confident mask which is inherently lacking . They are not self sufficient in that their emotional growth is lacking . They may be good at many things but in not being able to feel independent selves , as if it is climber that can bear as big a fruit as water melon or gourd but the climber is not strong enough to grow against gravity , it needs support , so In spite of other good things the emotional growth is lacking, that feeling of being grown up individual independent selves , is LACKING . So they feel the need to cover up for this in confidence so they have to wear a mask . They feel jealous of other being self sufficient and they hate to see others independent . My partner has been cruel criminal attitude a , demon , as I studied him all my life .. I pitied him , supported him , loved him , but he went on abd on deliberately abusing me in-spite of supporting him … You know how because I was like too too too damn confident person , and too energetic and too upright and moralistic and honest that these tantrums would not jolt my level of confidence . I knew who I was . I am blessed with all the best of things from my family , that I was good at many things so obviously my confidence level is high because of all that like a highly ambitious and successful father , he infused that all round development , knowledge of the world , how to be hard working , deligent , loyal , loving caring , thoughtful.He was so handsome and So I grew up to be a beautiful female myself and good in mimicry , debates , academics , athletics. I am such a great dancer , that rhythm in me is amazing , I am a stage performer , I came on television reading news so I am not a narcissistic but I am really good and upright and people may think of me to be a narcissist but no I am not , and I stood strong , clearly viewing he needed support , and he is mine so I let him be . But he attacked me for exactly this to put me down .. I was not to be .. I suffered … but I am Head strong … I knew the meaning of being for a person , not to ditch my partner , he may have been a smoker , alcoholic , going around with friends and not being in the family , or a non vegetarian which I did not like .. so I could not take him seriously and so n a days time I would recover and move on … But when I visualized that deliberate part in him trying to put me down … and not his diseased self … I was taken a back … and then … I stepped my foot down , it was I was being deliberately exploited and look what he did to me …. He betrayed me … I was destroyed completely .. the man I put my everything into … would just ditch me but keep staying with me .. because he needs support and cannot take care of kids by himself . I cannot leave my key de to a person as in confident as him . And he will kill me literally if I take kids away . He would come out of the police custody if at all I lodge an FIR . The day he would be released he can even kill me
Self love, self acceptance, self preservation, ignoring others that do not, at all, have your best interests at heart, listening to your own gut and boundaries = the BEST shield from narcissists.
wow you've really exposed the entitled way they think, and why they're such fault finders, while the victims are scratching their heads trying to prove themselves worthy
Oh and they blame you for absolutely everything starts screaming at you single kinds of things and then of course you react and then they call you crazy I am so sick and tired of this sick nonsense and another thing it’s misdirected anger and it gets taken out on me misdirected anger towards others and it gets blamed on me and then when I say something he goes oh no you’re not another words it’s not their fault it’s mine
I agree!! Can't understand before, now or ever, what the narc's way of thinking was. My head throbs just from gazing at him, let along hearing his voice, or conversation with, in anyway, form, or fashion.
Omg. Narcs will always be able to find a problem. NOTHING is ever good enough with anything. They can be at a 5 star hotel and complain the view isn't good enough or the bed is too soft.
You have saved my life. I am an adult child of a covert narcissistic mother with an older sister and am/was the scapegoat to our entire family. When my father died it shifted into overdrive. I went no contact when my daughter was 9. My mother has recently turned my daughter against me and I’m surviving. I’m learning about myself and my inner child and I am shuty shuty to the venom and able to sort out space to find my higher self. I fear my daughter is stronger in the narcissistic spectrum,; perhaps I erred on the side of caution and overvalued her to a fault. I couldn’t bear she feel worthless like I did. I know I can not only survive this but thrive despite my mother’s desperate attempt to keep me the villain in her life. I rekindled the marriage I left because he truly loved me and the codependency triggered me. We are getting married again this February because I was able to see how codependency ruled my every notion. I go on, and could for a while but I really just want to say thank you, I love you and Namaste.
My husband has no empathy towards any of my feelings. He has said things that hurt but because I’m emotional, I’m considered to have no control over my emotions. Now I’m being stonewalled. He always makes me feel I’m the one crazy.
If you need to, record conversations (without him or anyone knowing) with your phone. Not to confront him, but for you to know thats HE IS THE WRONG one. You have the proof for yourself that is toxix. That he's making you doubt yourself and whats really going on, hes deturping the narrative. You will start to see him in a diferent way.. You may love him still, but you just cant be aware of the red flags. Dont talk too much. Dont try to explain your feelings, or what he did wrong more than one time. One is good. If he is not empathic? His problem. Its hard but you must "narcisist" the narcisist Im going trough a situation myself now.. Wish you the best, Love from Portugal 💪🏼
You might need to consider leaving him. They never change, and you deserve to be loved. They are incapable of Love, it’s hard to accept but it is the only thing you need to accept. Once you accept this realty, leaving will be easier.
You are not crazy!!! They try to get into your mind, so you can second guess your strongest assest.....Your intuition. They make you the problem in every situation. They are wrong but you will end up apologizing. You're not emotional. He is rude.
These issues have been going on since we meant I just was so into my career I didn’t address them then and now after 5 years and a deployment I can see it so clearly. I wasn’t prefect by all means but just ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist is beyond something I have ever experienced. My heart is so broke and i don’t understand how a person can be so cold and heartless
@@annieisotay3934 thank you I needed to hear that. I was assured of things I didn’t do or would think about doing. It made me really think,, did I do that? I had to ask my friend
Meagan - I had to learn that the pain and hurt are there all the time, but that I can manage it better than in the past, and not let it rule my life. In time I have learned that when the waves come, to let it flow through me and out the door more quickly without having to do anything but acknowledge my truth yet again. Then I feel the peace of the life I love every day without the narcissists. Plural in my case! But I’m not perfect at this- just have seen my progress over the years. But still have had moments that I need all kinds of validation and support to get through yet another round of hurt.
@@karenkaminskas2580 thank you for sharing this with me. Your a beautiful soul who deserves internal peace. I hope one day I can allow it to flow and not be attached to it...maybe I need to acknowledge that there's a chance it could always be there but that we are capable of handling it and even creating a beautiful lifw from it?
Wow I'm so elated and excited that found that content in my late twenties !!! Narcs have ruined millions of lives in this universe stay away from these demonic and evils folks .. don't get me wrong yall I love people with all my heart there's no skepticism on that!!!!! Take care of yall selves ok...
Empath, Low self-esteem, Codependent. I was the perfect victim. 22 years and i only figured all this out 2 years ago....What a diffrence for me. It breaks my heart. I love my husband....but I've changed he has not. 😔 Sad...because im not going to live like that anymore!!
My mother always said I was so dramatic. She beat my sister and I everyday. There’s the lie from the narcissist. I was too emotional, I couldn’t control my emotions. I was a little girl then a teen. I was being raised chaotically. Lisa said, she said to her ex, you can’t control your emotions. My mom couldn’t understand why I couldn’t keep my emotions under control? She was a monster with rage and chaos. My “out of control emotions” were me trying to survive a violent upbringing. I was a little girl that should have been loved safely. For most of my life, I dreaded being “a burden”. Now I understand that it is a trigger for me from being raised chaotically. I meditate on it and let go of the false guilt of being a burden. Lisa, you really hit home for me.
I'm laughing... which I shouldn't... but YES, those are choices that I've been given. Narcs are conniving creatures that's for sure!! Always trying to outsmart you to get the advantage over you. I see the narc in my life as using every conversation as a chess game and he's steering me into checkmate. (I know very little about chess so I hope this is right).
@@Job.Well.Done_01 psychopathic narcissist now that is scarey. But if you don't react to there manipulations and use the broken record technique "use your words" they eventually will use their words cause otherwise no+ or - response. Like you could give a sh*t. You can do some behavior modification. Its really not scary when you realize your with a 2 year old who wants a candy bar before dinner. No. They say what. You say no is a complete sentence and that is the final answer.
I am that chameleon that has gotten away from a narcissist that was part of my world for years however, I now have become skeptical of other people. My family members seem to display many of these traits and I have gotten rid of too many friends due to many narcissistic behaviors and traits. Presently, it seems as though people in general seem to only care about themselves and are not empathetic in any way. I sometimes have to take a step back and readjust my thoughts and actions so I don't portray those exact narcissistic behaviors. It is so stressful, exhausting and sometimes difficult to deal with. I often want to just get out of my own head and wish I didn't think so much! I'm really tired of the games.....
THANK YOU! Your videos have started bringing clarity to an 18+ year battle for a normal relationship with my daughter. The years of emotional abuse from her as EVERY confrontation with her since 7 years old was met with a fight from her as if she were fighting for her life, the years of manipulation and lies, of dealing with her anger, of not being able to reason with her on any level, of having been screamed at and called names whenever things did not go the way she wanted, of dealing with her wrath when she had her own dialog in her head as to how a conversation should go and I did not follow a script I knew nothing about, of years of fake illnesses, violence, love bombing and then complete rejection, of being met with the comment "but you don't understand, that doesn't apply to me because of what I'm going through" when I explained to her as a child that certain behaviors were not acceptable, of dealing with her rage if I corrected her. I've been told she was a product of not enough love even though she was loved so very deeply and every attempt was made to correct the relationship which was obviously my fault because it's my job to reach her. (yes I have come to realize I am an empath and co-dependent) Yes, she did not get enough love, but that was because no amount of love was ever or will ever be enough. And THANK YOU for calling me "Dear One" to let me know that I am important too..... continuing to love, but now I can love with more under standing and protect myself as well. Thank you
The content in this video is SPOT ON. The hypocrisy of rules applying to everyone else except for them is truly nonsensical. When a person gets a daily dose of this kind of mental junk is enough to break someone psychologically. So true… narcs are more paranoid than anyone on earth. So tired of the pretzel twisting and running after love that will never ever be there. Thank you sharing for this amazing content!
I thank the Lord for your awesome verbose articulation of those characterized with the traits of covert narcissism. What a world and time we live in. Your level of intelligence and discernment are NOT going unnoticed. I have to say a huge THANK YOU to that very question I’ve wondered about my entire life. Your explanation made it possible for me to actually find the bottom of a “profound” rabbit hole. Wow!
I finally found a section that I can relate to. I always wondered why they give you options that do not work for you and it’s kind of like they punk you into making one of their choices!!!
I have been operating under this toxic faulty system since I was a kid. A CN found me and used me for 40 years ++. Dianna Ross couldn't have said it better. "I'm gonna make you Love me." My old anthem.
Thank you so much!!! This helps loads. I've recently found out my father was overt narcissist, everybody can see that, but I'm learning my mother is covert, and treats only me that cruel way, but not my siblings, she dismisses my pain in the cruelest manners and everytime I point it she says I have an evil mind. She can't recognize those thoughts come from her, not from me. Unfortunately to me my siblings take her side and they've always made me feel freaking alone. Videos like this mean the world, for the ones like me who've been taught not to believe their own inner wisdom voice. Namaste! God bless you whatever god is 🙏🙏🙏
This is exactly what I thougt when I watched this video! The boy who is the biological father of my child is a lazy guy with no ambitions. But he is a master when it comes to criticize others. He is jealous if somebody gives "his" child attention. If you would read a dialogue between my child and him you couldnt tell the adult from the child. What makes sense bc narcs never grow up.
Did you know that many pimps have babies with their girls. A woman's love for her child is used as a tool to make it hard for her to break free. It's really twisted.
Around 14:00. I’ll tell u what... ty for that. So many can easily turn to alcohol to try and escape the hurts and confusion from undealt with childhood trauma and now narcissistic abuse. Nevermind the fact that alcohol itself... is highly addictive. It’s literally a spiral down the drain and very hard to get out. Like you said.... the AWAKENING must occur, or you’ll never truly SEE things for what they are! Great videos. Ty
Lisa? This has me in tears.....I know I don't know you personally, but today? I genuinely feel that you are speaking directly to me....thank you....... Thank. You.😌💝
we broke up in May, but I'm just realizing that he was a covert narcissist. Now I'm dealing with the fact that I allowed this behavior and stuck around for 14 years of it. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. i don't understand why. I've been through chronic health issues, my father getting sick and passing away, alienation from my mother and sister. it's so strange that i feel hopeful yet hopeless at the same time. your videos are very eye opening. but most of all it's great that i know i wasn't crazy. do you think it's possible that they're not aware that they're doing it? he really thinks he is a great guy. it's that boy scout thing you mentioned.
Wow thank you so much for this explanation, it's exactly what I've been through with both covert and overt narcissists...but the explanation of the covert was always confused how this narcissist seemed like they had empathy, the explanation opened my eyes!!!!
Thank you! This is the final piece of the puzzle for me. Two of my family members always have way off base views on everything, illogical responses or lie about something.
I know a lot about narcs and have two psych degrees but sometimes I'm blind in my relationships especially since I'm with a covert. However, this is a great video and you always teach me something and help bring up my self esteem. 💝
Thank you for your videos. I have been trying to find answers to a single mother I have recently been dating. She introduced herself to me as she is my next door neighbour that needed some help, I was not the one that approached her. We dated numerous times, I helped her with masks and RAT test kits during lockdown, celebrated her birthday and helped her with neighbourly things like changing her car battery. Everything seemed normal at first, a single mum looking for companionship, but then the red flags started to appear. She would make outlandish claims such as when I'll be building a house for the two of us, giving her one of my car's, buying her gifts and the love bombing that kept me interested. Once she realised I was not going to comply, she switched off and began playing the no contact game, then once in a while making contact with cheeky love bombing messages. And the cycle continues. I have now come to realise how her previous marriage collapsed. At first I thought her attitude had to do with the stresses of being a single mum, being desperate to find security and stability and a change from her bland regimented life looking after a 4 year old boy. Now knowing her for over 3 months, she is categorically a covert narcissist that used my humility and empathy to feed her psychological condition. I am hoping now that she does not renew her lease in a couple of months. I own my property, it has become awkward as I cannot do a complete No Contact as we are in close proximity from each other and will bump into each other randomly. I am reflecting on this episode in my life as I think it has made me stronger in character, experiencing first hand this psychological condition.
Irrelivent. For real, i have felt this so much. I’ve been made to feel like i was so out of touch with society and in my recovery i’ve tried to OWN that truth instead of healing myself in a social context.
I LOVE your channel. Clear, energised and most importantly, on point! Literally word for word. Then at the end of this video, you talked around, awakening, and then your life got worse, BUT then it got loads better, and I think (and hope) that that's where I am at 💫 and I was so thankful and it's the first time I have heard that. Because at the moment it's a line somewhere between heaven and hell! You might already have one, but a video on the after affects of family cut off, why its ok etc etc. So many amazing narcissistic videos online, and they have helped me make sense of so much. But there aren't as many (that I have seen) that talk about after the awakening, the little lingers of guilt from cut off that arise. Like life after. If that makes sense? I am constantly like right what have I learnt, what are the positives, how will having experienced this make me better etc. Thanks so much for your work ❤💫
Love your content! Really helps me pinpoint the narcissists in my life. I think a check list of characteristics of a narcissist would be super valuable
Thank you for your insights. I have all my life attracted narcs or toxic users. It took me 60+ years to get all this to protect myself. I see the traits earlier on now and can cut those people off before damage is done. All of us get angry , didn’t have a perfect childhood or want revenge on someone who did us wrong. But, most of us I think have that better angel within us that takes the reigns to bring equilibrium to our psyche to behave as a normal decent person. They lack that better angel or insight, it was never instilled. Anyway, just my personal opinion. You can’t fix that aspect in someone else. You can only correct your own behavior when need be
I never had a long term relationship. At 34 I became pregnant and that put everything in motion. I had no guide on long-term relationships from parents or close relatives. So I worked hard and harder on fixing what my common sense said it was wrong. 11 years after, I have said quit, but he doesn't want to leave. So frustrated here.
I used to think I was the one with the bad deal when it came to all the narcisistic relationships I suffered from, but now I realize they are the ones who end up really screwed. I get to become wiser and understand what I need to heal and grow, while they are still floundering trying to understand why they are so miserable no matter what they do, and most likely won't ever get out of it.
" This is the path to true enlightenment where we recognise that we are one with the universe, we never had anything to prove. We've come to really find the self and find the road to self". This perhaps sums up best why we have narcissists in our lives, to awaken us to the Truth.
Like Bob Dylan says in one of his lyrics all of us have to serve somebody. I better be careful about whom I am serving the most too since serving someone whom is a malignant narcissist instead of the Lord could become far more than just a waste of my time.
Lisa, this is one of the best videos! Before you mentioned it, I was saying that entitlement, and immaturity are in the narcissist mixture for sure! The narcs contradict themselves with the nonsensical stuff. It's almost like they're constantly testing us...to see how we react [to their crap], like throwing the proverbial spaghetti to the wall, to see what sticks. Growing up a truth-teller, being scape-goated, and having my character assassinated on the regular, I have been fortunate to have honed my introspection. I didn't want to do that to others. It's a constant checking myself that I'm not (letting) others manipulate my empathy to fuel their narc supply, but also fearing my own place on the spectrum. 😬😞 Lisa, You are a bright light in a sometimes dark world.💜🌍 🤗
It never made sense to me why my ex would treat me like a puppet, bc I wouldn't treat him like that. He was so controlling and demanding, I did almost anything and everything. And in the end it didn't make sense to me why my ex went back to his ex behind my back after she supposedly cheated on him. I feel like he just used me, bc I recall him saying "my mom understands why I'm with you bc your helping me get over my ex". He also said when he was drunk, "if this doesn't work out I'm just going to hook up with ppl", bc he was tired of "love" I guess. But he basically was saying he was going to use ppl to make himself feel better. It didn't click then but now I get it. He wasnt with me bc he loved me, he went back to me bc he knew I would do whatever he said bc I love him. He went back to her anyway, and had the audacity to be angry at me bc I exposed him to his ex and he didn't even get apology for lying and cheating on me.
"Narcissist have no problem embarrassing you or accusing you of something you're not guilty of but they will go bonkers when you do the same to them" everyday I deal will this i cant even think straight.
Get out!
Get out!
Having a very hard time getting him to leave. He’s lived with me for 3 years and thinks I owe him part of the equity my house has earned since he’s lived there
Any idea how to get this monster to leave is greatly appreciated
@@Fattaz35 Talk to an attorney. He came to live with you. Any money he contributed was rent. He has no lease. Talk to women in crisis, they perhaps can direct you to an attorney! Gather your facts, don’t tell him ANYTHING! Make it a pleasant surprise, or he will play you for a fool!
He always boasted about being a logical thinker when in reality his nonsensical thinking and statements could make my head spin! Took me over 33 years to wake up & see what he really is! I finally told him "you go do you. I'm going to go do me." The healing process has proven to be much more difficult than I imagined. But I'm moving out of the darkness and shackles and into the light! Peace to anyone going through this type of relationship. 🙏
Good job Beverly .. stand up for yourself ! God bless you !!
@@ladyd1614 thank you!
Wish you all the best , love light , happiness , take care ❤️
Good for you!
First sentence instantly reminded me of the last face-to-face conversation with my mom... in a way hilarious, if it wasn't so sad and damaging if it goes uncaught.
They thrive on keeping your wits unbalanced! And they hate it when you catch them lying/irrational ploy to keep their circus act going. 🎬 You notice they actually hate everything about you? Then have no problem living /sharing meals /kids/ house with you. It's so 2 faced ! After they gutted you their are proud of it. So you feel like you can't get better or do better for you. These are the most Pathetic people . And better late than never seeing this .Only then you will start living and breathing one day at a time debunking their crap they put u through. Plow forward!
Silver lining (one of many) of going through narc abuse hell is superskills in critical thinking and hypocrisy identification! Making sense of their smoke and mirrors is crucial🤯
Their brain is actually warped.
I feel like my brain is destroyed since being around this person, I can’t concentrate at all.
So true...I think they have brain damage.
@@reneataylor5106 Yeah, like my little "adhd" Blew 💥up, into Full -Blown *"ADHD"**!!
The eXtremely severe "c-PTSD" seemed to 💥 up Other subclinical issues? & Learning disability. ... Mild 'Dysgraphia' /(4 Writing) -> became impossibly Severe!
As well as, SLP/ Speech Thx, issues, from Early School Days "flaring" up, ... or, - New ones!
Too many Dangerous ppl Out there! ~ It $uKs when they're "Loved ones" who could care less, if you're alive. ;-(
3 Narc sibs! 😭 💔 😱
Only people who lived this hell with these Pathetic people I listen to. Lisa gets it and lived it ! That's why I ❤ Lisa.. No BS! Her personal stories helps me to connect my own path to healing. I get exactly what she went through and how she felt ! Makes you feel less alone. Thank Lisa .
Yup she is great.
I knew something was wrong with the lady I befriended after I gotten to really know her. We would have conversations and I would find myself saying that doesn't make any sense.
I was luckier than most I think. Almost immediately, I knew something was not right about her. What's crazy is I started researching codependency to try to deal with whatever it is was bothering me. I stumbled on the narcissism and out of curiosity decided to take a look. The more I learned about it the more I realized she hit every button on the panel. But it's not that simple, I was with her about 2 months when I realized she was a narcissist. A year and almost 5 months later and we're still talking. I broken up with her dozens and dozens of times but she never gives up and I always give in. The longest I think I've ever lasted was a few weeks maybe a month. I'm 46 years old and I'd never been arrested until I met her, I'd never been homeless until I met her, Id never been cut off from my family until I met her, I think you get the picture. They are out to destroy you. If you're hanging from a cliff they will reach out their hand, start to pull you up and just as youre thinking of a way to thank them, they let go. That's personally the best way I can describe it. I struggle with other issues which actually may be a hidden blessing because it's going to take me away from her and isolate me. I just got to get there, which has been a struggle.
Oh lord your description on the cliff is perfect in describing my mother. Where I'm the only one of her kids still helping her. I literally saved her life for a 4th time. She knows if she doesn't leave me the house when she passes away, she's old and sick, my daughter and I will be homeless. The house isn't worth much and after the loans are paid from its sale I may be able to rent a little place for my daughter and I while we get on our feet and go through grieving. However, my mom will say I should give you the house. I will. Then turn around and not put it in writing. Then said, "you don't deserve the house". Then what? I'm 41 with two college degrees but I have health problems, and my siblings are all married and quite well to do. They don't need the small amount of money left from this broken down house. My daughter and I desperately do. Wow. Thanks for that analogy.
Dude, my first love which only lasted a year and ten months is exactly as you described. I am now an obsessed stalker and I’m blocked on everything, yet like 3 days prior to leaving me I made her soooooo happy, can’t believe a word they fucking say. The twisted thing is I would take her back if she wanted it but I know that’s never going to happen. I noticed early on that, like you said, she was a narcissist but I didn’t look into it at all, I really should’ve…
i definitely understand what u just said
Same. I figured out that he has some serious issues very quickly. The first two weeks of talking, I immediately ended things with him. I naively came back after a two month separation thinking that maybe I was being too hard on him and boy was that a mistake. Spent the next 3 months being invalidated, dismissed, accused, told that nothing I was doing was good enough and then eventually discarded and probably replaced. He says he didn't have anyone else but I know that's probably not true. It was rough. I genuinely have nothing good to say about that man. The worse part is that he presents himself as a caring and kind man on social media. Its disgusting!
Take back your power.
It's so sad to know others have experienced similar situations I've experienced. I've filed for a divorce after a year of separation. My days are now filled with love and appreciation. I'm loving myself. I've decided I deserve to be living a life full of love and happiness. Everybody deserves all the love and happiness in the world. A lot of genuine love and care comes through on your videos. Thank you for being gentle, yet forthright.❤
Yes! Lisa Romano is forthright and gentle! I love that description!
Thank you. This made everything so so clear. I was always thinking NONE of this makes sense. Other people can't suffer but the narc can be a victim even when their actions come back to say hi. They think they are above consequences so they think their suffering is ill given or someone wished them ill. Sigh, they really are pitiful. Can't believe I got involved with someone so superficial and soul-sucking.
Don't feel bad our friend happens to the best of us that's where we live and learn pick up the pieces and move on from there and don't repeat the same mistake no more
I feel the same way. When we go out he is very sneaky & pretends that we get along great. HA. Nothing could be further from the truth. Two faced.
My abuser always boasted to me that he never lied, and when I called him out saying I see you lie to everyone every day his reply was “you know that’s just to keep people at a distance”. Or he would call me sneaky and a thief while he was the one stealing food from the store for our business! I still don’t understand how my head didn’t explode from the contradictions
Thank you for letting me know I'm not Insane.... I'm never going down a Rabbit Hole like that again... I actually thought I could show a Narc how to treat me. Boy, was I in for a ride.
It’s so exhausting
They don’t give no .....
My husband always throws tantrum when i ask additional questions to clarify what he's saying. Or i refer to what he said before doesn't match or doesn't makes sense. He reaaaallly doesn't like me "thinking" he expects me to take whatever at face value.
Same here.
Yup he is a perfect, entitled, & handsome boy scout. HAHAHA!
Sabat MINE TOO!! Your entire paragraph! Wow!! 😳
Same.
@@MaineEmOcean wow😳😳
This one really gets to me, they want your attention, you mustn't look away it bothers them greatly and they will call you out on it, they must have your empathy, but when it's you expressing yourself they have zero empathy for you and don't pay attention to you AT ALL, you call them out, they gaslight you.. It's like banging your head against brick wall over and over again believing you're gonna break through next time..
I just realized what they have and i don't is LACK OF CONSCIENCE, they feel no guilt belittling, shaming, humiliating and downright insult me, but i can't do the same to them because well i have conscience, i would feel guilty and i really don't want to feel guilty.
My own experience with a Boy-Scout Covert Narcissist, was an 8 1/2 year tour through 2 years of good, then 6 1/2 years through hell.
Every word Lisa says is spot on TRUTH! The ONLY healthy way to deal with them, is not to play their game. GET OUT! Even if you have no idea how, MAKE a way. Or there will be a painful & devastating end! I say this because I lived it.
It cost me emotionally, spiritually, physically & financially!
GET AWAY from this type of vampire, unless you like the Rollercoaster ride & devastating end.
Yes - GET OUT and AWAY from those narcs. I lived 12 years with a covert and high-range narc until I make it to get out. That's 13 month ago and will NEVER or EVER go back!
Same here. 8 years. 2 good years, 6 absolute hell.
@@rebeccareganregan5001 same over here...
The cover is blown The Mask is totally 💯 off !!!
He can’t even attempt to put it back on
After living surrounded with narcs, for 40 years+ knowing this stuff has liberated me, so now it's actually time to start living. I'm not here to serve others, fix things, etc, however actually still would in the right circumstances, because I'm very giving and caring. Discernment is number one. I'll never change my nature,or the narcs have won. Someone genuine will understand why it takes a while to trust them, or why I'm slightly 'stand off-ish'
Amen to my friend I know you're feeling
You are not your life circumstances! What was, happened....the best is to yet come! Have faith and strive to be better for yourself 1st. And it will flow into your parenting and finding a stable relationship ❣
This episode has sealed my mind to understanding that I am on the right track. Thanks so much for presenting this. I love myself.
yes🙏🏽❤
💯💯💯
He told me the way that I think about things is wrong. Mind you, this was after he got me fired. I was so shocked, hurt and angry, and when I confronted him about it he shifted blame, called me verbally abusive, tried to lie and gaslight me, he got aggressive and threatened to block me. I did myself a favour and accepted that I didn't need to hear an apology from him because he wasn't sorry. He had done exactly as he had intended. So, I cut him out of my life. Haven't spoken to him in 5 months. He's absolutely dead to me. And life hasn't been more beautiful! I'm working on myself and appreciating myself, which I feel was my true lesson.
I wish someone would make a video about how to deal with the injustice of how you’ve been treated by one of these monsters. Even though I’ve cut him off completely, I’m eaten up with rage and also regret at how I fell into the traps he set to get the required reaction from his enablers. My reaction to his constant cheating, belittling me in front of his friends, asking for money back I lent him, being late for absolutely everything, sometimes leaving me waiting for him for hours in bad weather without answering his phone, all of it was used by him for sympathy because I was so demanding. He’s now posting pics of us on social media saying I’m the love of his life and he’d take me back “no matter how I’ve treated him”. I can’t stand people believing stuff about me that is not true when people who really know me know I don’t get into conflict easily. I comfort myself by thinking maybe he doesn’t know what he is doing. I can’t believe someone would purposely mentally abuse someone and trash their character for attention.
Lisa has. Look thru her video list.
Been there for my whole life.. Still going on. There is ocean of such memories buried inside and volcano of it makes I even worse. Yes, Injustice! I always do believe I can't help it. I have to just let it go. As there's no one who can punish them.
I know.....I have been through the exact same thing...only with some violence thrown in..do not worry...we will get through this..
I never can believe all of a sudden knowing that such people are elsewhere in the world and this is not just happening to me . This is absolutely what happened to me . You know what … let me tell you what is the basic fault with them is that they are … have not grown up being themselves . Everything has been done for them and they have not developed into individual beings . So the in confidence , insecurity , co dependence , defending their weak self , struggling to put up a confident mask which is inherently lacking . They are not self sufficient in that their emotional growth is lacking . They may be good at many things but in not being able to feel independent selves , as if it is climber that can bear as big a fruit as water melon or gourd but the climber is not strong enough to grow against gravity , it needs support , so In spite of other good things the emotional growth is lacking, that feeling of being grown up individual independent selves , is LACKING . So they feel the need to cover up for this in confidence so they have to wear a mask . They feel jealous of other being self sufficient and they hate to see others independent . My partner has been cruel criminal attitude a , demon , as I studied him all my life .. I pitied him , supported him , loved him , but he went on abd on deliberately abusing me in-spite of supporting him … You know how because I was like too too too damn confident person , and too energetic and too upright and moralistic and honest that these tantrums would not jolt my level of confidence . I knew who I was . I am blessed with all the best of things from my family , that I was good at many things so obviously my confidence level is high because of all that like a highly ambitious and successful father , he infused that all round development , knowledge of the world , how to be hard working , deligent , loyal , loving caring , thoughtful.He was so handsome and So I grew up to be a beautiful female myself and good in mimicry , debates , academics , athletics. I am such a great dancer , that rhythm in me is amazing , I am a stage performer , I came on television reading news so I am not a narcissistic but I am really good and upright and people may think of me to be a narcissist but no I am not , and I stood strong , clearly viewing he needed support , and he is mine so I let him be . But he attacked me for exactly this to put me down .. I was not to be .. I suffered … but I am Head strong … I knew the meaning of being for a person , not to ditch my partner , he may have been a smoker , alcoholic , going around with friends and not being in the family , or a non vegetarian which I did not like .. so I could not take him seriously and so n a days time I would recover and move on … But when I visualized that deliberate part in him trying to put me down … and not his diseased self … I was taken a back … and then … I stepped my foot down , it was I was being deliberately exploited and look what he did to me …. He betrayed me … I was destroyed completely .. the man I put my everything into … would just ditch me but keep staying with me .. because he needs support and cannot take care of kids by himself . I cannot leave my key de to a person as in confident as him . And he will kill me literally if I take kids away . He would come out of the police custody if at all I lodge an FIR . The day he would be released he can even kill me
¹1
You are such a blessing to many! I’m now understanding more clearly what happened to me because of your videos 💜
I agree with Gwen, You are a blessing and I am now feeling more and more secure in facing my enemies too.
True Story!
Right, me too!
Little by little I'm having moments of clarity, which I'm very thankful for!
Recording all interactions with narcissists is very helpful in seeing their craziness.
Self love, self acceptance, self preservation, ignoring others that do not, at all, have your best interests at heart, listening to your own gut and boundaries = the BEST shield from narcissists.
wow you've really exposed the entitled way they think, and why they're such fault finders, while the victims are scratching their heads trying to prove themselves worthy
Whoa! Yes! Been there!
Oh and they blame you for absolutely everything starts screaming at you single kinds of things and then of course you react and then they call you crazy I am so sick and tired of this sick nonsense and another thing it’s misdirected anger and it gets taken out on me misdirected anger towards others and it gets blamed on me and then when I say something he goes oh no you’re not another words it’s not their fault it’s mine
💯
I agree!! Can't understand before, now or ever, what the narc's way of thinking was. My head throbs just from gazing at him, let along hearing his voice, or conversation with, in anyway, form, or fashion.
Omg. Narcs will always be able to find a problem. NOTHING is ever good enough with anything. They can be at a 5 star hotel and complain the view isn't good enough or the bed is too soft.
Thank u, Lisa, for helping me remember that I am not crazy! I am wounded and just want love.
You have saved my life. I am an adult child of a covert narcissistic mother with an older sister and am/was the scapegoat to our entire family. When my father died it shifted into overdrive. I went no contact when my daughter was 9. My mother has recently turned my daughter against me and I’m surviving. I’m learning about myself and my inner child and I am shuty shuty to the venom and able to sort out space to find my higher self. I fear my daughter is stronger in the narcissistic spectrum,; perhaps I erred on the side of caution and overvalued her to a fault. I couldn’t bear she feel worthless like I did. I know I can not only survive this but thrive despite my mother’s desperate attempt to keep me the villain in her life. I rekindled the marriage I left because he truly loved me and the codependency triggered me. We are getting married again this February because I was able to see how codependency ruled my every notion. I go on, and could for a while but I really just want to say thank you, I love you and Namaste.
My husband has no empathy towards any of my feelings. He has said things that hurt but because I’m emotional, I’m considered to have no control over my emotions. Now I’m being stonewalled. He always makes me feel I’m the one crazy.
If you need to, record conversations (without him or anyone knowing) with your phone. Not to confront him, but for you to know thats HE IS THE WRONG one. You have the proof for yourself that is toxix. That he's making you doubt yourself and whats really going on, hes deturping the narrative.
You will start to see him in a diferent way.. You may love him still, but you just cant be aware of the red flags. Dont talk too much. Dont try to explain your feelings, or what he did wrong more than one time. One is good. If he is not empathic? His problem. Its hard but you must "narcisist" the narcisist
Im going trough a situation myself now.. Wish you the best, Love from Portugal 💪🏼
You might need to consider leaving him. They never change, and you deserve to be loved. They are incapable of Love, it’s hard to accept but it is the only thing you need to accept. Once you accept this realty, leaving will be easier.
You are not crazy!!! They try to get into your mind, so you can second guess your strongest assest.....Your intuition. They make you the problem in every situation. They are wrong but you will end up apologizing. You're not emotional. He is rude.
These issues have been going on since we meant I just was so into my career I didn’t address them then and now after 5 years and a deployment I can see it so clearly. I wasn’t prefect by all means but just ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist is beyond something I have ever experienced. My heart is so broke and i don’t understand how a person can be so cold and heartless
@@annieisotay3934 thank you I needed to hear that. I was assured of things I didn’t do or would think about doing. It made me really think,, did I do that? I had to ask my friend
You are my role model! I'm 65 and still struggling with my SLDD & CPTSD...
Me too- but I continue on the journey with growing strength and more peace every day. I take two steps forward and one back -
@@karenkaminskas2580 how do you cope with that
Meagan - I had to learn that the pain and hurt are there all the time, but that I can manage it better than in the past, and not let it rule my life. In time I have learned that when the waves come, to let it flow through me and out the door more quickly without having to do anything but acknowledge my truth yet again. Then I feel the peace of the life I love every day without the narcissists. Plural in my case! But I’m not perfect at this- just have seen my progress over the years. But still have had moments that I need all kinds of validation and support to get through yet another round of hurt.
@@karenkaminskas2580 thank you for sharing this with me. Your a beautiful soul who deserves internal peace. I hope one day I can allow it to flow and not be attached to it...maybe I need to acknowledge that there's a chance it could always be there but that we are capable of handling it and even creating a beautiful lifw from it?
Wow I'm so elated and excited that found that content in my late twenties !!! Narcs have ruined millions of lives in this universe stay away from these demonic and evils folks .. don't get me wrong yall I love people with all my heart there's no skepticism on that!!!!! Take care of yall selves ok...
Thank you Dahling‼️‼️💙🌎🇺🇸
Sanity has returned and under your experienced tutelage, my re-found empowerment is propelling me forward‼️
Empath, Low self-esteem, Codependent. I was the perfect victim. 22 years and i only figured all this out 2 years ago....What a diffrence for me. It breaks my heart. I love my husband....but I've changed he has not. 😔 Sad...because im not going to live like that anymore!!
My mother always said I was so dramatic. She beat my sister and I everyday. There’s the lie from the narcissist. I was too emotional, I couldn’t control my emotions. I was a little girl then a teen. I was being raised chaotically. Lisa said, she said to her ex, you can’t control your emotions. My mom couldn’t understand why I couldn’t keep my emotions under control? She was a monster with rage and chaos. My “out of control emotions” were me trying to survive a violent upbringing. I was a little girl that should have been loved safely. For most of my life, I dreaded being “a burden”. Now I understand that it is a trigger for me from being raised chaotically. I meditate on it and let go of the false guilt of being a burden. Lisa, you really hit home for me.
"Narcissism does in fact exist on a spectrum and narcissists by nature don't change" spot on.
I'm laughing... which I shouldn't... but YES, those are choices that I've been given. Narcs are conniving creatures that's for sure!! Always trying to outsmart you to get the advantage over you. I see the narc in my life as using every conversation as a chess game and he's steering me into checkmate. (I know very little about chess so I hope this is right).
Spot on. Now that you see it, you CAN play chess. BTW,uncheck out the world governments. Narcissistic magnets.
I'd rather deal w grandious than vulnerable (or covert) hidden. The grandiose don't hide who they are. Easier to know what you are dealing with.
It’s much more frightening when you’re dealing with a covert.
@@Job.Well.Done_01 psychopathic narcissist now that is scarey. But if you don't react to there manipulations and use the broken record technique "use your words" they eventually will use their words cause otherwise no+ or - response. Like you could give a sh*t. You can do some behavior modification. Its really not scary when you realize your with a 2 year old who wants a candy bar before dinner. No. They say what. You say no is a complete sentence and that is the final answer.
Mine is all types rolled into one
I am that chameleon that has gotten away from a narcissist that was part of my world for years however, I now have become skeptical of other people. My family members seem to display many of these traits and I have gotten rid of too many friends due to many narcissistic behaviors and traits. Presently, it seems as though people in general seem to only care about themselves and are not empathetic in any way. I sometimes have to take a step back and readjust my thoughts and actions so I don't portray those exact narcissistic behaviors. It is so stressful, exhausting and sometimes difficult to deal with. I often want to just get out of my own head and wish I didn't think so much! I'm really tired of the games.....
THANK YOU! Your videos have started bringing clarity to an 18+ year battle for a normal relationship with my daughter. The years of emotional abuse from her as EVERY confrontation with her since 7 years old was met with a fight from her as if she were fighting for her life, the years of manipulation and lies, of dealing with her anger, of not being able to reason with her on any level, of having been screamed at and called names whenever things did not go the way she wanted, of dealing with her wrath when she had her own dialog in her head as to how a conversation should go and I did not follow a script I knew nothing about, of years of fake illnesses, violence, love bombing and then complete rejection, of being met with the comment "but you don't understand, that doesn't apply to me because of what I'm going through" when I explained to her as a child that certain behaviors were not acceptable, of dealing with her rage if I corrected her. I've been told she was a product of not enough love even though she was loved so very deeply and every attempt was made to correct the relationship which was obviously my fault because it's my job to reach her. (yes I have come to realize I am an empath and co-dependent) Yes, she did not get enough love, but that was because no amount of love was ever or will ever be enough. And THANK YOU for calling me "Dear One" to let me know that I am important too..... continuing to love, but now I can love with more under standing and protect myself as well. Thank you
The content in this video is SPOT ON. The hypocrisy of rules applying to everyone else except for them is truly nonsensical. When a person gets a daily dose of this kind of mental junk is enough to break someone psychologically. So true… narcs are more paranoid than anyone on earth. So tired of the pretzel twisting and running after love that will never ever be there. Thank you sharing for this amazing content!
You are a blessing to people that didn't understand what is going on with these fake people.
millions of people need to hear this today
Love what you said about how the CONTRAST of a narcissistic relationship shows us what we REALLY want and pushes us towards our TRUE selves… amen!! 🙌🏻
I thank the Lord for your awesome verbose articulation of those characterized with the traits of covert narcissism. What a world and time we live in. Your level of intelligence and discernment are NOT going unnoticed. I have to say a huge THANK YOU to that very question I’ve wondered about my entire life. Your explanation made it possible for me to actually find the bottom of a “profound” rabbit hole. Wow!
I finally found a section that I can relate to. I always wondered why they give you options that do not work for you and it’s kind of like they punk you into making one of their choices!!!
you are so right on, I've been through this with a relative for over 37 years, now I'm emotionally detached for the past 4 years
"I have a self! I don't have to put up with this! This is amazing!" That made me laugh. What an accurate depiction of this process.
I have been operating under this toxic faulty system since I was a kid. A CN found me and used me for 40 years ++. Dianna Ross couldn't have said it better. "I'm gonna make you Love me." My old anthem.
Thank you so much!!! This helps loads. I've recently found out my father was overt narcissist, everybody can see that, but I'm learning my mother is covert, and treats only me that cruel way, but not my siblings, she dismisses my pain in the cruelest manners and everytime I point it she says I have an evil mind. She can't recognize those thoughts come from her, not from me. Unfortunately to me my siblings take her side and they've always made me feel freaking alone. Videos like this mean the world, for the ones like me who've been taught not to believe their own inner wisdom voice. Namaste! God bless you whatever god is 🙏🙏🙏
6:40 Exchange "puppies" for "children" and that's my experience with getting into a relationship with someone who "COULDN'T WAIT" to start a family.
This is exactly what I thougt when I watched this video! The boy who is the biological father of my child is a lazy guy with no ambitions. But he is a master when it comes to criticize others. He is jealous if somebody gives "his" child attention. If you would read a dialogue between my child and him you couldnt tell the adult from the child. What makes sense bc narcs never grow up.
Did you know that many pimps have babies with their girls. A woman's love for her child is used as a tool to make it hard for her to break free. It's really twisted.
@@gogogardener 😥
Around 14:00. I’ll tell u what... ty for that. So many can easily turn to alcohol to try and escape the hurts and confusion from undealt with childhood trauma and now narcissistic abuse. Nevermind the fact that alcohol itself... is highly addictive. It’s literally a spiral down the drain and very hard to get out. Like you said.... the AWAKENING must occur, or you’ll never truly SEE things for what they are! Great videos. Ty
Lisa? This has me in tears.....I know I don't know you personally, but today? I genuinely feel that you are speaking directly to me....thank you....... Thank. You.😌💝
🤗🙏
we broke up in May, but I'm just realizing that he was a covert narcissist. Now I'm dealing with the fact that I allowed this behavior and stuck around for 14 years of it. This is the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. i don't understand why. I've been through chronic health issues, my father getting sick and passing away, alienation from my mother and sister. it's so strange that i feel hopeful yet hopeless at the same time. your videos are very eye opening. but most of all it's great that i know i wasn't crazy. do you think it's possible that they're not aware that they're doing it? he really thinks he is a great guy. it's that boy scout thing you mentioned.
They know they are deceivers, they get off on leaving us confused. Been there done that.
My husband has done this to me. No more! He is crazy not me!
I’m in the same boat with my husband, he really thinks it was all me that caused our problems.
Same...11 yrs of crazy cycles I didn't know what was happening.
@@cynthiafortier2540 Exactly it’s a roller coaster ride
The puppy part is accurate as heck!! I digress
Wow thank you so much for this explanation, it's exactly what I've been through with both covert and overt narcissists...but the explanation of the covert was always confused how this narcissist seemed like they had empathy, the explanation opened my eyes!!!!
Thank you! This is the final piece of the puzzle for me. Two of my family members always have way off base views on everything, illogical responses or lie about something.
Your closing statement hit me hard lady dearest👊💓💖💗🙏
Thank you so much for your help and support. God bless you.
I know a lot about narcs and have two psych degrees but sometimes I'm blind in my relationships especially since I'm with a covert. However, this is a great video and you always teach me something and help bring up my self esteem. 💝
I am glad it helped🙏
Yea so helpful. Each day it gets clearer for me thanks Lisa
Thank you for your videos.
I have been trying to find answers to a single mother I have recently been dating. She introduced herself to me as she is my next door neighbour that needed some help, I was not the one that approached her. We dated numerous times, I helped her with masks and RAT test kits during lockdown, celebrated her birthday and helped her with neighbourly things like changing her car battery. Everything seemed normal at first, a single mum looking for companionship, but then the red flags started to appear.
She would make outlandish claims such as when I'll be building a house for the two of us, giving her one of my car's, buying her gifts and the love bombing that kept me interested.
Once she realised I was not going to comply, she switched off and began playing the no contact game, then once in a while making contact with cheeky love bombing messages. And the cycle continues.
I have now come to realise how her previous marriage collapsed. At first I thought her attitude had to do with the stresses of being a single mum, being desperate to find security and stability and a change from her bland regimented life looking after a 4 year old boy. Now knowing her for over 3 months, she is categorically a covert narcissist that used my humility and empathy to feed her psychological condition.
I am hoping now that she does not renew her lease in a couple of months. I own my property, it has become awkward as I cannot do a complete No Contact as we are in close proximity from each other and will bump into each other randomly.
I am reflecting on this episode in my life as I think it has made me stronger in character, experiencing first hand this psychological condition.
Irrelivent. For real, i have felt this so much. I’ve been made to feel like i was so out of touch with society and in my recovery i’ve tried to OWN that truth instead of healing myself in a social context.
Going thru all of this with a narcissist. How crazy
I LOVE your channel. Clear, energised and most importantly, on point! Literally word for word. Then at the end of this video, you talked around, awakening, and then your life got worse, BUT then it got loads better, and I think (and hope) that that's where I am at 💫 and I was so thankful and it's the first time I have heard that. Because at the moment it's a line somewhere between heaven and hell! You might already have one, but a video on the after affects of family cut off, why its ok etc etc. So many amazing narcissistic videos online, and they have helped me make sense of so much. But there aren't as many (that I have seen) that talk about after the awakening, the little lingers of guilt from cut off that arise. Like life after. If that makes sense? I am constantly like right what have I learnt, what are the positives, how will having experienced this make me better etc. Thanks so much for your work ❤💫
It took me too long to realize there are different kinds of intelligence. Narcissists are emotionally aloof, to other people and to themselves.
I appreciate your videos, they are so helpful with understanding my family dynamics.
Thankyou Lisa , you've helped me immensely , you're beautiful !!!
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart i really appreciate for your work...Thank you..
Love your content! Really helps me pinpoint the narcissists in my life. I think a check list of characteristics of a narcissist would be super valuable
Excellent, thank you, please keep up the good work!
Thank you for your insights. I have all my life attracted narcs or toxic users. It took me 60+ years to get all this to protect myself. I see the traits earlier on now and can cut those people off before damage is done. All of us get angry , didn’t have a perfect childhood or want revenge on someone who did us wrong. But, most of us I think have that better angel within us that takes the reigns to bring equilibrium to our psyche to behave as a normal decent person. They lack that better angel or insight, it was never instilled. Anyway, just my personal opinion. You can’t fix that aspect in someone else. You can only correct your own behavior when need be
Oh pure gold in this video. Thank you!
OMG…YOU are above amazing Lisa…
I am wow’d.
This is so good! You are literally talking about my ex narc Wow!!!
I never had a long term relationship. At 34 I became pregnant and that put everything in motion. I had no guide on long-term relationships from parents or close relatives. So I worked hard and harder on fixing what my common sense said it was wrong. 11 years after, I have said quit, but he doesn't want to leave. So frustrated here.
thank you so much for your videos. Im in early stages of figuring it out!!
Reading your book. You are the best. I'm moving forward with your help. Thank you Lisa x
Lisa you are so appreciated!! Thank you, with ❤️ love.. Katie
I used to think I was the one with the bad deal when it came to all the narcisistic relationships I suffered from, but now I realize they are the ones who end up really screwed.
I get to become wiser and understand what I need to heal and grow, while they are still floundering trying to understand why they are so miserable no matter what they do, and most likely won't ever get out of it.
" This is the path to true enlightenment where we recognise that we are one with the universe, we never had anything to prove. We've come to really find the self and find the road to self". This perhaps sums up best why we have narcissists in our lives, to awaken us to the Truth.
Thank you, this was a great video to start my day.
Beautifully Said...
Blessed Day by Day 🙏
This was amazingly accurate. Thank you
Like Bob Dylan says in one of his lyrics all of us have to serve somebody. I better be careful about whom I am serving the most too since serving someone whom is a malignant narcissist instead of the Lord could become far more than just a waste of my time.
Well said. Serve the lord, not the narcissist
Right On..........what you are saying is exactly my experience with my npd sister. Thank you!
Fyi. Talking hands are a distraction.
Thank you for your advice, beautiful lady. I can never hear enough about empowering myself against narcs. Keep it coming. Happy 2022.
Lisa, this is one of the best videos! Before you mentioned it, I was saying that entitlement, and immaturity are in the narcissist mixture for sure!
The narcs contradict themselves with the nonsensical stuff. It's almost like they're constantly testing us...to see how we react [to their crap], like throwing the proverbial spaghetti to the wall, to see what sticks.
Growing up a truth-teller, being scape-goated, and having my character assassinated on the regular, I have been fortunate to have honed my introspection. I didn't want to do that to others.
It's a constant checking myself that I'm not (letting) others manipulate my empathy to fuel their narc supply, but also fearing my own place on the spectrum. 😬😞
Lisa, You are a bright light in a sometimes dark world.💜🌍 🤗
Yes she is!💞🙏💞
Yes yes thank you I watch u and others to help it does help ty
This is really helpful information. Thank you very much & be blessed
Excellent. Thank you.
Lisa- you are channeling is right on tonite! 😘
Straight up that part big facts 👌 👍 💪 💯
Thank you so much for your great video! I take so many notes from your teaching!
Thank you Lisa for the information that is so relavant to my former life...
I just found you tonight. I'm in awe! So grateful for the messages and much needed! So incredibly helpful and empowering! 💞
Thank you Lisa for all of your help and enlightening me. God bless you 🙏
It never made sense to me why my ex would treat me like a puppet, bc I wouldn't treat him like that. He was so controlling and demanding, I did almost anything and everything. And in the end it didn't make sense to me why my ex went back to his ex behind my back after she supposedly cheated on him. I feel like he just used me, bc I recall him saying "my mom understands why I'm with you bc your helping me get over my ex". He also said when he was drunk, "if this doesn't work out I'm just going to hook up with ppl", bc he was tired of "love" I guess. But he basically was saying he was going to use ppl to make himself feel better. It didn't click then but now I get it. He wasnt with me bc he loved me, he went back to me bc he knew I would do whatever he said bc I love him. He went back to her anyway, and had the audacity to be angry at me bc I exposed him to his ex and he didn't even get apology for lying and cheating on me.
Yeah I need to leave. Took me 28 years but I’m ready to hit the road.
Thank you Lisa
You're truly amazing Lisa. Thank you. I feel so much better.
Words can’t express how I feel about life.
Love your channel so much but can watch only one video every two weeks so much info that reviles pain and need time to process everything
Now that I am listening to this I am pointing out every narc in my life.