Gender Roles: Age and Income Gap, Let's Talk About It

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
  • We're talking gender roles and how they play into our not so typical marriage. Major THANKS to Surfshark for sponsoring this video. Get Surfshark VPN at surfshark.deal... - Enter promo code MAXMAYA for 83% off and three extra months for free!
    In this video Maya and I talk more about the gender dynamics in our relationship. Can you relate to any of it? Do you disagree with it? Let us know in the comments!

ความคิดเห็น • 358

  • @-Bloomingtales
    @-Bloomingtales 2 ปีที่แล้ว +496

    The way I got teary eyed when he said “The only currency I had at that point was love. Unconditional love for you.” 😩🥺😭 to be loved and give love is a powerful thing.

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Love 💕💕💕

    • @dv52528
      @dv52528 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Best currency ever!

    • @stepha5129
      @stepha5129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Omg i JUST heard that and came to comment because 😭

    • @yanikeonpurpose
      @yanikeonpurpose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Me too 🥺. I’m currently in a similar situation. Turning 40 this year & ready for a committed relationship as I’ve just left a 15 year relationship. A friend that I have known for 20 years who I have a deep bond with, has always wanted to date me.
      But I am a high achieving woman with strong masculine energy. He is a feminine man with laid back comfortable energy. We don’t match on paper or in real life in my eyes. But he’s like all I can give you is unconditional love because I love you for who you are. I’m like bruh that’s not enough. So it’s interesting watching them navigate a similar trajectory as it is difficult terrain for me.

    • @-Bloomingtales
      @-Bloomingtales 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@yanikeonpurpose so I’m wondering - Do you want the 20 year old friend to be more compatible in non-emotional ways because that’s what society has told you is what is best? Or is it because you want to prove to your ex that you have leveled up after him? I don’t know you but sometimes I think love does come in many different shapes and forms buuuut you know what you want and I think you should honor whatever makes you truly happy. There’s also a difference in dating a man with “less” who builds you up in all ways and then there’s a man with less who just wants to draw from your strength because they don’t have it in themselves right now - we need people that help to lift our burdens, who are trying and those who want to stay light and be light - you know? I think you have to get incredibly introspective on this one, go deep and imagine/manifest the life you want - the life you REALLY really want, even if some people or folks from your past might not get it. Life is short go for the love you want. Love will land for you, I’m sure of it ♥️

  • @ZED2.0
    @ZED2.0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +237

    When you reach a certain age, everyone wants you to get married but don't seem to care about who you marry as long as it's done. You two are a great reminder to be patient, open minded and self aware.

    • @nathaliasimone_
      @nathaliasimone_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yess, Amenn soo truee👌🏾!!

  • @carmeldelite
    @carmeldelite 2 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    "Don't be afraid of what's healthy for you." I love that.

  • @claudiaa1900
    @claudiaa1900 2 ปีที่แล้ว +277

    I am a Female who earns more than her Male partner. His currency is like Max said: his love, his support, and may I add that doing all the cooking for us! A relationship is not all about putting in money. I believe in a couple everyone should contribute their 50/50. It’s all about each of us putting in the work together and pushing for both of our success. It just works!!!! I could never be with someone who is the breadwinner but is controlling and expects me to play the hyperfeminine, woman’s part. That is not me. So who I have found is the person perfect for me and my real self 🤗

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Love this thanks for sharing 🙏🏻🙏🏽❤️

    • @kandacewalker848
      @kandacewalker848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is my story too. Glad to see others

    • @suezcontours6653
      @suezcontours6653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And probably being a good and present father to his kids

    • @HH-kg4fq
      @HH-kg4fq 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's about compatibility and being complementary.

  • @anayotothe
    @anayotothe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    With all the discourse around toxic gender roles, hypergamy, and who is "high value" in the media and culture these days, this was SO SO SO refreshing to watch! Rooting for y'all!

  • @MyAkachi
    @MyAkachi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    Lets remember that a lot of times what we call masculine and feminine energy are just masculine and feminine stereotypes, lol.

    • @jaelyns2387
      @jaelyns2387 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That’s what I think. I’m super feminine and love the aspects of being a woman - it’s a spiritual and powerful journey to me. But relationship wise, I don’t like being submissive and do have a soft spot for man who are in touch with their emotions and showing them/ communicating them. I also like making decisions. This may seem masculine to some people but that’s just a stereotype. He’s a masculine man and I’m a feminine woman but I’m the shot caller 😂

    • @ShadowJinxXOX
      @ShadowJinxXOX 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jaelyns2387 I believe what society stereotypes as “feminine” and “‘masculine” is actually just being a submissive and a dominant; in which there can be a feminine woman who is a dominant and a masculine man who is a submissive. And so what would be best for everyone is to stop associating feminism with submission and visa versa. Then people would actually know which role they truly fit in

    • @kadimr.2894
      @kadimr.2894 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jaelyns2387 In order to lead you have to be in your masculine energy (regardless of gender). You enjoy being in your masculine energy and therefore attract a more feminine male. There is nothing wrong with that but call it what it is.

    • @Boxxxxxxxxx
      @Boxxxxxxxxx ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jaelyns2387 No. Not a stereotype. Decisiveness is a masculine quality, not a feminine one. If it was, there would no need to distinguish between them.

    • @Boxxxxxxxxx
      @Boxxxxxxxxx ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kadimr.2894 Exactly. People denying this, zero sense.

  • @todrapayne
    @todrapayne 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I'm 8 years older than my honey; he's white, I'm black. He loves home and creating a cozy space, while I'm very driven career wise. We've been together 12 years and it's the most amazing, uplifting, mature relationship I've ever had. I love that you two found each other and was open to love beyond labels and differences. You guys seem really happy. I love that Max said the only currency he had in the beginning was unconditional love. That's the most important currency.

  • @BB-fc5ze
    @BB-fc5ze 2 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    I am loving her hair. She looks amazing, suits her perfectly.

  • @dearklove
    @dearklove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    I love how you guys talk TO each other and not just to the camera 🥺❤️

  • @QueenZsWorld
    @QueenZsWorld 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I love seeing more couples like this, who play to each other's strengths and connect as PEOPLE not roles

  • @Fabfitand50
    @Fabfitand50 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    When Max said that the only currency he had was unconditional love ... my heart just melted.

    • @BearingMySeoul
      @BearingMySeoul ปีที่แล้ว

      That is literally ALL I'm looking for. I'm smart. I'm healthy. I have my own money. I don't need "protection" or "provision" just a place to rest my heart, ok?!

  • @mandac.5844
    @mandac.5844 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    As a 36 year old woman, who is working on changing careers now, I feel like I’m too old for some of these youngins, and too young for the older ones. So many men aren’t in the maturity level, both old and young men I’ve come across, especially on these dating apps, who aren’t very ummm worth pursuing. Most can’t even keep a conversation-or even try. I’m that “masculine” woman too, an only child raised by mom and gma, I kind of fell into that. I just need and want that unconditional love and want, and maturity to match.

    • @ninobk196
      @ninobk196 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm 49. It took me a while but when I FINALLY opened myself to break all these expectations and types I thought I wanted, I met the man of my dreams. I have grown SO much from our relationship. the package he came is was completely different than what I thought it would be. At age 49 years I had to intentionally break all these ill expectations I had. (There's a pastor I listen to online called RC Blakes. His teachings have helped me tremendously over the years). I am also too masculine ( I never knew this until my 40's and the men that I would be drawn to are not down with that at all!) and he brought it up but I have never been loved so unconditionally that he is patient enough to put up with my shit but guides me through it to be more feminine which I want to be. I feel safe with him to be open to all of these welcomed changes that I was desiring. Everything came to a head when I met him. I was also raised by a single mom my whole life and have been working since 12. I am a take charge type woman and can be a bit hard too. I never realized how much of a "diamond in the rough" I was. If I wanted to change my single status, I knew there were things that I had to change as I had already lived half my life and had enough mileage to see that certain things aren't working and I was the common denominator. It too a lot of self reflection and work. But HE is all for it. I am a much better person and woman since I've met him. Whatever happens with our relationship, I am hands down a better person.

  • @johannafernandez6879
    @johannafernandez6879 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Accepting that you have masculine energy as a woman is refreshing. I have it too, just that I have none of the DIY proclivities, zero. And I love me a beautiful pedicure. We’re complex beings, not either or.

  • @yadeneehailu3498
    @yadeneehailu3498 2 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Watching your (Maya’s) relationship begin with Max years ago began to shift my mind from finding an ‘equal’ to welcoming a ‘partner’. I’ve now been in a nourishing relationship with a younger man who’s currency of love has been the support I needed to flourish and find deep ease in life for the last year (and he’s made incredible strides in his career too doubling his income). ease and abundance are the fruit of love ❤️

    • @AnnaBell033
      @AnnaBell033 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes queen! That first sentence just spoke to me!

  • @KemuntoBear
    @KemuntoBear 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    This is uncomfortable questions to ask but highly necessary to avoid misunderstanding

  • @farfetched9296
    @farfetched9296 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    When you're equally yoked and have the same integrity, morals, and common goals you get a healthy balanced relationship 🙂. Max is a man that has balanced masculine and feminine energy men with this character are great partners. They can relate with her woman and allow her to still be strong without feeling guilty about it.

    • @blank3115
      @blank3115 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mm hmm!!! That’s what it is.

    • @SammyJ96
      @SammyJ96 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true...

  • @hallease
    @hallease 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Max: Can we blame Hollywood?
    Maya (with gusto): WE CAN.
    Full stop. Love it.

  • @SaekredRebl
    @SaekredRebl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I swear each of y'all's "fireside chat" and Q&A videos help me so much. My boyfriend and I have a 6 year age gap, I'm Black and he's Filipino. Actually eeing some of the things that I'm "worried" about being conquered and work in a way that's so beautiful in your relationship gives me alot of hope for my own. I love y'all 💛

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Awww we love hearing this. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @Churros1616
      @Churros1616 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      6 years is not that much

  • @judyhamilton9123
    @judyhamilton9123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    37 years later oh I wish my husband was keen on the traditional male jobs!! My back is feeling it now!

  • @MissLovelyNay08
    @MissLovelyNay08 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This conversation is so important. This is a huge reason why I question the idea of soulmates. Your soulmate doesn’t look a certain way, have a certain career, etc.. True love and compatibility has no limitation.

  • @Ringelsocke.
    @Ringelsocke. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Our relationship is an ongoing project for 27 years and hopefully more.
    Emotional support no matter what is key.
    Money can't buy that.
    It's nice to have, not more, not less.

  • @jasminephillips7675
    @jasminephillips7675 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I welled up a little when Max said that his only currency was “unconditional love”. In my experience of life I know for a fact that unconditional love and emotional intelligence underpins every aspect of a healthy relationship. They are therefore the most valuable currencies worth bringing to the table. As always, I love your honesty and ability to sift through the glitter of life to understand what human beings should really value and focus on. To paraphrase Maya’s words (very loosely) we should stop trying to fit into the boxes that society builds for us…we should put our effort into finding out who we truly are and be that person. Well said btw. As far as gender rolls go it is simply cultural nurturing…nurture vs nature. If we stop the heavy nurturing, nature will prevail and the game changes.

  • @bluereign
    @bluereign 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Wow, we were just talking about this at church. Knowing yourself and what energy you're bringing to the relationship. Masculine and feminine energy, irrespective of gender. Great discussion.

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Amen!! 🙏🏽🙏🏻

    • @magdalenasamandova
      @magdalenasamandova 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Find a new church.

    • @MZMINI22
      @MZMINI22 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣🤣

    • @BaileyBlurbs
      @BaileyBlurbs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That’s a great conversation I wouldn’t expect at a church.

  • @whosdatgirl15
    @whosdatgirl15 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I can completely relate to this! I’m a woman but I fall more into masculine gender roles. I naturally attract men who fall into the feminine roles. Kind of frustrating because I always want my masculine energy matched and it causes a lot of frustration in my relationships.

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Interesting stuff here.. how does this come about in conversations with your previous partners?

    • @jessmercedes2669
      @jessmercedes2669 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I feel you on this!

    • @joyi1546
      @joyi1546 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don't you find that the feminine energy balances for you? Or is that not the case? Maybe you can explore if you haven't why it doesnt...doesn't... you holding on to what things shld be like in male and female roles.

    • @kirn3afek
      @kirn3afek 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A masculine man won't be looking for a masculine woman, because he needs his feminine woman to balance his masculine energy. Men are full of testosterones, and want a feminine, progesterone energy when he's coupling up to balance his man's energy. That's why, it's also true for gay couples, one has the feminine energy and the other the masculine one in general, even if both seem to have masculine energy at first glance. It is what it is. If you have the same energy, you're fighting each other and that can quickly get exhausting. It's more like who's gonna win. A masculine man won't be fighting a masculine woman for what he consideres to be his birthright, his masculinity. That's why a masculine man will prefer a feminine woman, he feel he's in his best position to thrive and evolve, also to take care of her and avoid a headache on top of it. He's already fighting other men in society, so why fight a woman for his masculinity, which is his birthright, when she's supposed to be, biologically, feminine ?? Plus, masculine men also have this " save the damsel in distress " complexity. Yes, that's basic biology. We' re in an upgraded glamorized cave men society and still mindset.

    • @yanikeonpurpose
      @yanikeonpurpose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@kirn3afek As commented above, we have men, women, men/women & women/men in the world. I’m naturally a man/woman (😅) & having successfully destroyed two beautiful relationships because of my out of control masculinity, I’m making it my business to keep it monitored in relationships.
      I’ve built a six figure business & bought my first house at 25, so my masculine energy is real strong out here. When these poor feminine guys (that I naturally attract) get into it with me I’ll wear their asses out. 😭 As the person said above, I subconsciously want them to match my masculine energy & they can’t.
      Now the issue is, regarding what you’ve expressed, not all males are pure males as said.
      Many men as in Mia’s case, are feminine men. Maybe naturally created this way, maybe societally battered into weakness. So to expect all men to naturally want a soft & gentle woman to balance his masculinity from being out in the world fighting men all day, isn’t true in all cases.
      Feminine men actually leverage the strength of the woman, so they don’t want to necessarily be pampered by her softness at all time, he wants to take from her strength as his strength is lacking, & that is restorative for him. In reality, not all males are masculine males.. nor do they have to be.

  • @naomim8994
    @naomim8994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I don't think your roles are reversed. I think your roles are fluid. Maya can go from diy to her motherly duties and Max can go from cooking to working and making money while Maya is at home with Saga.

    • @suezcontours6653
      @suezcontours6653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Modern white men are feminine. They're raised in privilege and cannot handle life's hardships

    • @purplesquare-1triangle966
      @purplesquare-1triangle966 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Suez Contours wtf

    • @suezcontours6653
      @suezcontours6653 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@purplesquare-1triangle966 I'm just saying, this guy that she is with - I don't subscribe to this dynamic. I'm looking for a man to take care of me, not the other way around. If they're looking for black women to hustle with, this low key promotion of 50/50 relationship dynamic we have with black men. Stop falling for it. She can if she wants because she's 40+ but we're still in our prime and should look for husbands to take care of us while we're 20 something.

    • @dollyrevenge98
      @dollyrevenge98 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@suezcontours6653 Good luck with that, hope you find what you want but if I were you I'd be more flexible. You can get married and 2 years in your husband is unable to take care of you. What are you going to do then, leave him ?
      Her husband seems absolutely great with her.

    • @suezcontours6653
      @suezcontours6653 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dollyrevenge98 Yes. That's the role of the man otherwise he isn't a MAN. Listen to Bill Burr's podcasts. He's married to a black woman.

  • @cherylsampson5472
    @cherylsampson5472 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I have the same age gap between my husband and I and we have been married 17 years now

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You are a living inspiration 🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @meusepierre8501
      @meusepierre8501 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sweet, just on Valentine I had a guy told me that our 3 years gap difference will be a problem in the future. I was so crush, but watching this video and reading your post he wasn't the one for me. He didn't even give me a chance to get to know me. 😪

  • @101malteesers
    @101malteesers 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    So refreshing to see a woman loved and celebrated by her husband for her 'masculine' qualities - Maya is right when she says many women are leaning harder into their feminity because we think that's what men want to see, I've definitely been guilty of this too! Also relate to not wanting a partner to be the provider/breadwinner - much more interested in finding a man with emotional intelligence than a big salary. And arguably harder to find too lol

    • @kwameopoku3576
      @kwameopoku3576 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lool ur friends r right we dnt want manly woman

  • @inesnathaliengoua
    @inesnathaliengoua 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    It not just hollywood. Its our societies that push set norms. It changes from culture to culture.

  • @tamaraelimm
    @tamaraelimm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    My man is younger than me and I was hesitant at first, but I love him and we work well together💞

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What made you most hesitant? 🤍🤍

    • @tamaraelimm
      @tamaraelimm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@MaxMayaLiving his ability to provide and lead but he’s proven me so wrong🥰🥰

  • @lindal3841
    @lindal3841 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Maya is my girl, always has been. Love that in Max, she found a man so secure, loving and self-aware❤

  • @jahmeliae
    @jahmeliae 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is such a POWERFUL video. It's so easy to let society's programming influence the way you think and has definitely been a stumbling block for me as a young woman in terms of 1, figuring out who I am and what I can bring to a relationship and 2, what I want in a partner and who would be a good match for me. There are so many platforms that push the Masculine/ Feminine narrative of how they should carry themselves and what they should/should not do to get a man/woman (especially towards the black community & black women) and it's so draining to hear. This video was such a beacon of light and I hope that it provides comfort and just a sigh of relief to men and women that don't want that conventional lifestyle.

  • @ramenheadx3
    @ramenheadx3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you for sharing this. I'm 27 and have been with my partner for a year now. Our dynamic is similar and I always question if this is what I should be happy with based on society's rhetoric. He's a natural caretaker, loves cooking, and spending time with me. He works but he isn't as money driven despite coming from a well-off family. He's happy with the simple things in life, where as I grew up in poverty and am willing to do whatever it takes to create a better life for myself and future children. I see him being an amazing father one day. I'm glad the conversation is becoming broader about what relationship dynamics work for different people. Everyone isn't seeking a high value provider and that's perfectly okay.

    • @johannafernandez6879
      @johannafernandez6879 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He’s not obsessed with money because he comes from money!!

    • @kirn3afek
      @kirn3afek 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@johannafernandez6879 sure !

    • @BaileyBlurbs
      @BaileyBlurbs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wow we must be dating doppelgängers…I have such a hard time accepting the fact that my partner comes from two hardworking successful parents and doesn’t have the same drive. He’s simple and goes with the flow. It drives me nuts sometimes but it’s honestly because I feel anxious/embarrassed that he doesn’t fit the typical male energy I’d always wanted. Little did I know, he was exactly what I needed.

  • @jasmynsreality
    @jasmynsreality 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Yea my husband does the manly things like fixes everything in our home but when it comes to cooking or something simple like caring for our cats he’s amazing. I don’t mind cleaning but I also am the person who does our finances and is more stern. Love your channel and the love you guys put into the world

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      We love you 🙏🏻🙏🏽❤️

  • @tibbytx1
    @tibbytx1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    The risk of taking care of a man is that he may get use to it. Whether you subscribe to traditional roles, always being a strong black woman is exhausting. You'll eventually grow to resent him if you're always the sole bread winner. Being type A is one thing but you have to make sure Saga has a father she respects. Ijs

    • @yanikeonpurpose
      @yanikeonpurpose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This is the difficulty. I am an alpha female with high drive, go getter type energy. This isn’t even as a result of bad societal programming, I literally carry a lot of masculine energy & my body physically represents it. (Learned that women with high feminine energy carry a plumpness to the lower half of their body as energy is directed there).
      There is a saying that there are 4 types of ppl on the planet; women, men, women- men & men women.
      A masculine woman teaming with a feminine man is really risky. I always attract feminine men because masculine women tend to. But one must navigate this space consciously. You can end up with a lazy fem male that gets comfortable with you living in your masculinity as a woman, which isn’t healthy. There needs to be a balance.

    • @kwameopoku3576
      @kwameopoku3576 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@yanikeonpurpose then bloody change its not hrd

    • @ngreat4390
      @ngreat4390 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You have a point!
      I think that one should evaluate what their expectations are for the relationship they'll be entering into.
      Generally because the goal of life is growth, the man you marry will not fit you six years down the line if he's not growing too. So the objective would be to look for a man who's committed to growth and achieving his ambition... When both of you are motivated towards growth, roles will frequently swap but it will be an act of balance as should be.
      Bottom line, focus on growth.
      If Max also continues to grow and achieve his dreams, they're going to have a fantastic marriage

    • @kandacewalker848
      @kandacewalker848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@yanikeonpurpose maybe we attract feminine men because that represents balance for us, and is who masculine men should partner with!! That’s what I’ve realised for myself. And if we think feminine is weak then we need to question why that is

    • @BaileyBlurbs
      @BaileyBlurbs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ngreat4390 this is a great point. The focus should be on growth. Having a feminine energy man could result in him being lazy.

  • @2studiosinc62
    @2studiosinc62 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Max, it is wonderful that you know your love brings currency to the marriage; and Maya knows that you are her better half. I like that you cry, too. My 19 year-old grandson has cried when he expressed his emotions and I think it is healthy for men to cry; they are human beings who feel emotions. I love when I receive notifications that you guys have a new video; I love your chemistry. 🥰

  • @briannawilson6483
    @briannawilson6483 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Max, don’t you ever lack confidence in your English again. It’s PERFECT!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @papi_manny
    @papi_manny 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    This is soooo beautiful. Gender expansion is beautiful and so freeing and what so many of us long for. It seems that you two have found internal and external balance with the law of gender.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      We are trying like everyone else ❤️❤️❤️

  • @MyKeturah
    @MyKeturah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The book Getting To I Do touches on this. In a relationship personally prefer a masculine provider who gives to me (time, attention, safety, love, loyalty, food, gifts, etc). But when I was single I definitely enjoyed more masculine energy to provide for myself. I will be rereading this book because it is possible for roles to switch, and I never want to be in a relationship where I'm too deep in my masculine energy because it's stressful for me. I love being more submissive and creative while depending on my lover and having all of my relationship needs fulfilled in receptive mode. But I also understand that we are all different.
    I guess my biggest thing is, at the end of the day if you are happy that's all that matters because we are all very very different. There is no cookie cutter type love, and nobody should ever idolize relationships. Create your own garden of love for your life and water it/shine on it.

  • @lashawnda3111
    @lashawnda3111 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm in a 13 year age gap relationship. I am 29 and my guy is 42. I've had to unlearn sooo many things as a young woman. All we both truly want is unconditional love. Thank you two for sharing your lives. I always learn so much from watching your channel ❤️

  • @WhenSaraiSpeaksUListen
    @WhenSaraiSpeaksUListen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I love this video and this hits home for me. I’ve dated/been in relationships where I felt like I “HAD” to present this more feminine version of me when I knew deep down that wasn’t truly me. Of course I’m feminine, but I do have lots of sides that could be considered masculine, and it HAS turned off some men.
    This video is inspiring and let’s me know to not settle and my better half who compliments me will come along.

  • @raerosetho
    @raerosetho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Maya, I love you, and I’ve been following you for, FOREVER! I love your journey and out love I have to correct your language. Please don’t use mental illness as adjectives. You are not a little “schizophrenic” because you talk to yourself. That’s not even a characteristic on the DSM and language like this is harmful. There are REAL people suffering with schizophrenia and this language undermines their TRUE STRUGGLE! This language is also why we have so many myths about mental illness. You are very self aware and I hope you take this comment in love. Having internal dialogue is very normal.
    Schizophrenia is characterized by thoughts or experiences that seem out of touch with reality, disorganized speech or behavior, and decreased participation in daily activities. Difficulty with concentration and memory may also be present.
    Let’s do better with our language so we can continue to break the stigma about mental Illness and disorders.
    I battled about commenting but I do a lot of work with mental illness and mothers more specific in the marginalize community and your audience is too large to not say anything.
    Love you deep! ❤️

  • @sashaj.8465
    @sashaj.8465 2 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I love the love you two have for each other. I think that more people are in “non traditional” relationships now but more people need to be encouraged to be open for how love shows up. They need to see these examples. Also I think that a lot of black women are more tapped into their masculine energy because of how racism has impacted our family structures and other stuff. Anyway, be and stay blessed!

    • @bluereign
      @bluereign 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Solid point though I would also add even with traditional family structures. The way many of us are mistreated and have to advocate for ourselves day to day basis, while just trying to live has a huge impact.

  • @Hugsdaplanet
    @Hugsdaplanet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'm glad this is working for them. I am in a somewhat similar situation. My partner is 13 years older than me and offers support in ways that unfortunately still perpetuate the gender roles and force a lot of the heavy lifting onto me. I cook, clean, build, and make more money. I am learning to ask for the help I need without resentment. Its still a battle I don't think I was ready for.

    • @ngreat4390
      @ngreat4390 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sorry Sis! Please ask for help.
      I've seen so many women go through this and I have learned to ask men what kind of home they want cos I don't think I'm the type to do all that work. Some girls have to cook a afresh for every meal and I think it's crazy. So I negotiate that...
      I have too much to offer to this world that cannot be supplanted by the need to cook and clean

  • @rdunyc554
    @rdunyc554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Age is not a big issue for me. I would date younger, but the income gap is something that I would have a hard time with... as a successful woman if someone cannot financially take care of themselves -- that's a non-starter. They don't have to be as financially well-off as me -- but he must bring something else to the table that offsets that fact. And often, men are highly insecure dating a more successful woman - especially when a woman is entrepreneurial and in the C-suite.

    • @mirandataylor6385
      @mirandataylor6385 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think a lot less men are insecure about it than you would think. But again, society paints that picture that men should be insecure about it.

    • @shawnellemartineaux6212
      @shawnellemartineaux6212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      You understood the assignment. I wouldn't date someone who is not financially secure.

    • @Cyr530
      @Cyr530 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@shawnellemartineaux6212 To all of the women commenting about how this is refreshing , they should remember that when they are paying alimony, cs and giving up their assets to these refreshing men. Did we not learn anything from Mary j Blige , Brittany Spears , etc 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @kandacewalker848
      @kandacewalker848 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@Cyr530 if we as a society are happy with women getting half when they’ve divorced it should go both ways. The issue is more what are each of you bringing to the table beyond money. If the man is cooking cleaning supporting then let him be great doing that

    • @shawnellemartineaux6212
      @shawnellemartineaux6212 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Cyr530 and Adele.

  • @shompurnagunjan
    @shompurnagunjan ปีที่แล้ว

    People forgot how important it is to have someone who helps you to built and love you unconditionally. You can always make money but its near to impossible to find love several times in life.

  • @larkaraniakim7832
    @larkaraniakim7832 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This video was so beautiful! What’s most important about a fulfilling relationship is that two ppl come together with the same values when it comes to love and each other. You guys are genuine and it’s very important to see. I’m in distanced relationship with an age gap where we’re both financially not where we want. But our currency for each other is the unconditional love we share and the support we have for each other. Seeing your relationship makes me feel good that I’m not worried about money and status, but finding someone who truly loves and values me the way I do them. Thank you for this video✨🙏🏾

  • @andra_
    @andra_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I frigging love this video! Your partnership is so pure, it feels so honest and real. Like you’ve done THE WORK and you’ve dropped all the “shoulds” society puts on you. I went through something similar with my husband, when we met he told me he’s not handy around the house and his ex used to get upset with him for it. I totally had to check myself and go “okay, I understand that” and now I never ever have that expectation of him. When something breaks we tackle it together or call for help. It allows us to focus on our love. Please keep putting out these videos into the world, they’re such a beautiful example of pure love!!

  • @debrieannaeddins8789
    @debrieannaeddins8789 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Me: Wondering when Max & Maya are going to post their video today🤔
    Max & Maya: Post video as soon as I go on my lunch break
    Me:🙌🏾😢💜💜

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      We are BACK! Thank you for tuning up

  • @bkaoracles
    @bkaoracles ปีที่แล้ว

    I love that you over-stand, inner-stand and understand each other 🫶🏾. I resonate where you coming from so much both of you but as a female especially you Maya with resonating with the masculine energy within yourself 🫶🏾

  • @hoosaout4202
    @hoosaout4202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You both really inspire me, your way of living and thinking is so natural and a lot healthy compared to today’s world. I have a similar dynamics in my relationship and I can sincerely and happily relate.

  • @dajaniererice8267
    @dajaniererice8267 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love that y’all shared this perspective. We need more diverse perspectives when it comes to love and relationships. Wishing yall the best ❤

  • @DiDaTT
    @DiDaTT 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This was a really good video. Thanks for being so transparent with us. It's appreciated.

  • @redempthawilliam7065
    @redempthawilliam7065 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The most vulnerable convo av watched this whole week. Thank you for keeping it real!!

  • @HH-kg4fq
    @HH-kg4fq 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's about compatibility and being complementary.

  • @dejavubutterfly
    @dejavubutterfly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's refreshing to see another age gap relationship! I'm 11 years older than my partner and a lot of what you said rings true to us! We also have a one year old son together 😊

  • @denicesealy
    @denicesealy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What a fantastic conversation! When you talk about the masculine and the feminine energies, it makes me think of Dr. Pat Allen’s work. Please look her up, she’s so interesting… Basically she says in any relationship, whether it’s opposite sex or same-sex, there is the masculine energy and the feminine energy. The woman can be the masculine energy and the man can be the feminine energy, and vice versa, But she says that one person can’t be both in the relationship. It doesn’t mean that each person doesn’t have a masculine and feminine side, but it has to do with their role in the relationship.

  • @nieshat
    @nieshat 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I know I don’t know you guys but I truly love the two of you. I have been waiting for a video that had just wholesome goodness and you guys deliver every time. Thank you so much being honest with yourselves so therefore you can open up and be honest with us. Stay blessed! I can’t wait to see the house. I am truly rooting for your marriage, health, prosperity and journey overall.

  • @trishl707
    @trishl707 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is so incredible and exactly what I NEEDED to see.

  • @pattyflorence2660
    @pattyflorence2660 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just being in a different country had to take a leap of faith. You sure you two aren't related? Congrats on your new baby, man, and house renovations. Love love love this!!!

  • @mylavandaa1225
    @mylavandaa1225 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    First of all , Maya Your Hair is 🔥🙌🏽and you guys are everything 💜. I just love watching you having this type of conversation . So helpful tyy !

  • @JChavae
    @JChavae 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I understand you Maya! I’ve had old situationships where men were intimidated/threatened by my “masculine” energy which lead to abuse. I have a LOT of “Masculine” energy and my husband (cis-gender man) has “Feminine” energy. More so, we’re equal energy of both and it it works FOR US! We don’t subscribe to stereotypical gender roles either. We do what we’re good at & that’s it.

  • @10byrdie
    @10byrdie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We all have feminine and masculine energy. We are just programmed from childhood to only acknowledge one. People who accept both are so attractive. I love a man who is in touch with his femininity. Great topic.

  • @audreys7497
    @audreys7497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It’s been so wild watching you Maya 😭 always feel like I’m seeing peaks into my future

  • @kikidynmatemba-belli7838
    @kikidynmatemba-belli7838 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m in a relationship where it’s 50/50 and I never set out to be in relationships where I was expected to do traditional female chores. Whenever I was in a relationship and my boyfriend expressed the view that I should cook and do chores at their home. I was flabbergasted and always ended the relationship. Until I was 28 l met the love of my life whose love language is cooking and acts of service. We both are good cooks and sometimes we cook together. He is my biggest cheerleader and it’s never been an issue that I always earned more money than him. We have always worked as a team and raised our daughter with the same values. I feel very lucky and strongly believe that there is always someone for every one if you actively look in unlikely places. We’ve been married for 31 years and I feel blessed. I just wish young women love themselves first and foremost before falling in love. And don’t settle for any materialistic stuff or rich men. worldly goods do not translate to happiness. You 2 have so much good energy and have an amazing relationship. As long as you love each other madly deeply age gap is nothing in this century. Good luck and do your thing never mind people who thrive on deaming your light because of your age gap. 😍❣️

  • @victoriagoldnfoundvictoria9289
    @victoriagoldnfoundvictoria9289 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m feminine and not masculine. I think we confuse Yinyang with masculine and feminine. I am feminine and I express yinyang differently than a masculine would. Doesn’t mean I’m not strong, structured, stoic etc. It just means I express that differently than a masculine would. This is how I choose to understand it and everyone has their own way of understanding this mystery.

  • @dahliaforbes
    @dahliaforbes 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You raised some very important points. Thank you for this. You two make my heart smile. ✌🏽🙏🏽

  • @princesshoneylullaby1064
    @princesshoneylullaby1064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love is worth more than any amount of money! Good on Maya for knowing that. 🦄👸🏾

    • @MaxMayaLiving
      @MaxMayaLiving  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      We need to invest more in love 🙏🏻🙏🏽

    • @missafrica4092
      @missafrica4092 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      NO ITS NOT

  • @jross478229
    @jross478229 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really enjoyed this video. Seeing similar dynamics as my partner & I have is so refreshing. Women have got to understand the juxtaposition of so called "masculine/ feminine" It's a beautiful thing to embrace and I think it makes men feel much more empowered.

  • @Brittabiel
    @Brittabiel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My husband and I have a 15 year age difference. I learned to not hurt his feelings and communicate without being a bull(y)(Taurus) Although he’s big and buffed he’s a super sweet romantic while I have more masculine energy. Like you both said men & women have both masculine & feminine energies

  • @SAsunshine101
    @SAsunshine101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Aww, y’all! This was nice! I like the transparency and safe space y’all hold for each other 💛 I definitely connected with the energy dynamics and knowing ‘thy self’ :) beautiful!

  • @sheismonalisa3146
    @sheismonalisa3146 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Max and Maya. A perfect combination. Many blessings

  • @nataliequansah
    @nataliequansah 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You guys are just beautiful together!🥳 able to be yourselves and that is what I think is important in a relationship 👌

  • @catchyname5403
    @catchyname5403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Don’t allow social constructs to keep you from your happiness if you aren’t damaging others. Do what works for you to bring joy, love and fulfillment to your life. There will always be judgements from others regardless of your actions 🌻

  • @missafrica4092
    @missafrica4092 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    NOT THE BLACK WOMEN IN THE COMMENTS SAYING LOVE IS BETTER THAN MONEY... LOOOL ALLAH HELP US ALL

  • @NikkiNiko
    @NikkiNiko 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I swear you guys are us! The gender roles, age gap, career/money (especially in the beginning) Marrying a foreigner. Super unconventional… we love it. We love watching your channel. Y’all are our twin flames 🤣 … we coming to Sweden so our new babies can play together!

  • @Dez112
    @Dez112 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is off-topic, but your hair looks gorgeous! Also, love this conversation. My partner and I have many unconventional ways we go about navigating our relationship. It is great to see more people being open and honest about breaking the boundaries of societal norms. He is also younger than me, and I am the "breadwinner." But he is so phenomenal in ways that I could never get from anyone else. He is only younger than me by 6 months, so a lot of people think I am being dramatic when I bring up our age difference lol.

  • @MelissaMisinco
    @MelissaMisinco 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My husband is feminine energy and I’m masculine energy. He’s the bread winner and I’m a stay at home wife. Energy and gender roles are different. We follow gender roles but energetically and personality he’s feminine and I’m masculine. I manage the money, and lead the relationship. He’s passive and I’m assertive.

    • @rejectionisprotection4448
      @rejectionisprotection4448 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're so right. I read some research (can't remember where), which said that the more traditional gender roles provided more space for couples to swap traditional traits. So within running a home and raising a family, the woman could be quite masculine in her approach. The husband (at least at home) could be more feminine in that respect.
      In the early to mid 20th century in the UK, it was quite common for working class men to give their pay packets to their wives after taking a bit of "beer money" out for themselves.

  • @LisaYoungmpp
    @LisaYoungmpp 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You’re both such an amazing couple!! Thank you for being so candid!

  • @aurisarias664
    @aurisarias664 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just love the way you guys communicate. It's like you allow each other to be. You both do a good job of listening to each other.

  • @tauruslove88
    @tauruslove88 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You’re both so therapeutic! Insightful as always Maya.

  • @ZoeMaven
    @ZoeMaven 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    For me age is really just a number in the sense that age does not determine maturity and emotional intelligence... I've met over 35 year old men who were such big babies... whining and griping about everything... I've also seen Younger men way wise beyond their years... So I'd say...forget the age and get to know his mind and perceptions...😘

  • @adventurousdaydreamer
    @adventurousdaydreamer 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Y'all have healthy communication and it is obvious that Max is mature and was on his GROWN MAN when he pursued you must be pointed out. I've learned that everyone's marriage is different. No two marriages are the same and it's good to have healthy expectations of your spouse, not those created by influences outside of your marriage. I feel you on that Black Love, but healthy love is good love! Personally, that's my goal whether I'm married or not. Y'all keep doing what you are doing! In twenty years you two will be telling us how to make it twenty years in love! 🙂

  • @mairashummer43
    @mairashummer43 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am marry with a 20 year older than me, and after 5 years of marriage, I still see him as my provider, we now have a daughter she is about to be 4, he has 2 older kids, and I for sure I don't want more kids, so for now I can say that our relationship is ok, it could be better but I guess the longer you live with someone the more your learn about yourself and your partner, and you learn to accepted as it comes.

  • @nkolemwaba2526
    @nkolemwaba2526 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Max is very mature. He sounds like someone who was raised or surrounded by strong women.

  • @doreenstiles6997
    @doreenstiles6997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thanks for sharing, I love your little family 💞

  • @kokopuravida
    @kokopuravida 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, Max will be an incredible actor!! 🎥💫 Great conversation per usual! Thanks! 😎

  • @TheGiftOfGab1
    @TheGiftOfGab1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I totally love this. I have masculine characteristics that I want to feel comfortable expressing with a man. Just to be yourself and be accepted for it must feel amazing in itself.

  • @vanessadinece1
    @vanessadinece1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm so happy for you two!!!. I think there's nothing more beautiful than people living their authentic truths. Max is younger but very mature and Maya I've been following you on your journey and I'm just so happy to see where you've landed. Throughout your spiritual, personal, career family and friends journey I think you are exactly where you need to be and it's good to see an "older" woman become a first time mom and wife while being so settled in herself and truly happy🥰. Just continuously wishing y'all the best in this next stage of your journey as individuals and as a family💞

  • @morigomidamagi9206
    @morigomidamagi9206 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What age gap??? Honey I thought he was the older one, the fact there's a 12 year age difference he look older. Girl you are good and look good too

  • @ososandi
    @ososandi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love your relationship, thanks for taking us on the journey with you and for your transparency. I am more open to someone younger more so now than previously and I'm way more open to being with someone who isn't "rich" by society's standards...... BUT, now I'm becoming less open to older guys. I need help lol

  • @RacquelNM
    @RacquelNM 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love the communication between you two!

  • @mariaturner2602
    @mariaturner2602 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You two are simply awesome. Love your honesty and unconventional wisdom.❤️❤️

  • @play4alley
    @play4alley 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love your hair girl!👏🏽

  • @tyesewilliams8052
    @tyesewilliams8052 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The vulnerability here 😢 Max you are appreciated not only by your beautiful wife, daughter, and immediate family. We support you always. You even being in this space and sharing this struggle is a MASSIVE accomplishment. Regardless of it all you still ran a marathon and still are maybe not a physical run but allowing us to meet you as we’ve met maya in this space for years is a marathon on its own. So in the words of Nipsey Hussle “the marathon continues. 🫶💪

  • @ItsJustDiggs
    @ItsJustDiggs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm glad that you (Maya) brought up the fact that you can be your true self with having more masculine energy because that is something that I fear when thinking about dating. I recognize that I have more masculine energy and fear that it would be a turn off because I always hear that men prefer feminine/girly women. I always wished that I could be more "girly", but the things that make women appear more "girly" just do not come natural to me.

    • @honeymoney23
      @honeymoney23 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Girl do you. The right one will come

  • @angelaburrell-lewis2955
    @angelaburrell-lewis2955 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I concur. Knowing thyself is very important. Being comfortable in your skin is mucho important. Having mutual respect and appreciation for each other helps a lot. Comparing self or partner to others can be detrimental to a potentially great relationship. Maya I'm the handy woman in my marriage. I knew this from the get go. I am able to have creative freedoms around our home with help from my husband as per my request. Great job to you both 👏 CONTINUE being you.

  • @inmyownbubble8
    @inmyownbubble8 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m 26 women and like a guy 7 years younger than me and at first I felt bad even though he is legal age.I think love is love 💕. You both inspire me.

  • @fluffyclouds555
    @fluffyclouds555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was a fascinating insightful discussion. You are a beautiful couple. I relate to being a female with masculine energy.

  • @anndavis9764
    @anndavis9764 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    WOW !!! I love you guy so much! You keep me on my toes. The context is very real, presents, and emotional. You're very courage !

  • @unaversal_unacorn
    @unaversal_unacorn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this video ♥️
    “Know who you are and play to your strengths” stood out to me the most because if I don’t know who I am it could be difficult to find my ☯️