I'm a father of three, my wife and I started as soon as possible, North I'm the same age as you and my eldest can have a beer with me now. The hobby has been in our lives the entire time, when my family life was stressful or hard I soothed it with 40k, whenever my kids where at an impass or were upset or confused, sitting them down and doing the hobby with me helped them alot. Now the young apprentices at work have found out how much I love 40k and they have jumped in with both feet, I teach them the lore and the game (including opr), they come with questions or scenarios and I love seeing the look in thier face as I explain this grandious bombastic universe to them. There's no better feeling than genuinely fostering our hobby to others.
There isn’t a single thing in the world that’s been better for me that being a father. No amount of money, no hobby and no accomplishments or accolades come anywhere close.
I feel like in the 90s and early 00s we got a lot of people from 40-50 who were the old school wargaming guys who would have been college students nerding out with their historical regiments in the 1970s, and the kind of guys that were into model railways. Whereas a lot of kids and teens into it in the 90s and 00s dropped off when they went to Uni and through their 20s and are only coming back now. I can only speak for my FLGS but there are a hell of a lot of people who have taken a 20+ year hiatus from 40K and are just starting to buy and paint stuff again post Covid, with their own kids or not.
As a white married man of 4, I've brought my family along into the hobby. Was even asked by my kids school to help teach a strategy games class. But the world has made it wierd for honest folks to interact with kids. It's just not worth the risk of interacting with anyone else kids man. Real talk. You know as well as I do 1) kids can be scandalous, saying and doing horrible things "for fun" 2) all it takes 1, just 1 accusation no matter how false, is enough to destroy, absolutely destroy you as a man. 3) adults really have no place around kids in general. Adults and child CANNOT be "friends". 4) like I said earlier, the world has made men extremely apprehensive and cautious around women, children, (insert special group here). Why take the chance? Real question, why risk your freedom, reputation and life?
This really hits home. I'm late 30s, on the spectrum. I had resources growing up 20 years ago like mentors and holiday programs that really helped me out; I still remember those guys to this day. I recently wanted to give back to the autistic community in the same way, through tabletop gaming to develop social skills, or mentoring. Just help kids and parents after everything my folks and I learnt the hard way, share my persepctive as a child and what helped me. You know, things like that. Got shot down real quick.
@tatoferret3167 My meaning may have been misunderstood. I WANT to teach, to mentor, to foster young kids. I got 4 of my own I chose to make lol. It's just dangerous, in more ways then it should be, to do any good today where this is concerned. I've personally seen too many friends, and myself, get done dirty, only to later be vindicated in their denial by confessions. Shame really, good folks are hard to come by.
13:50 You're completely correct about this. I feel like I'm only about 40% of a human being. No friends, no purpose, no real interests outside of the hobby, but I do have a lot of skill and knowledge built up somehow. It's a really odd place to be. I feel like I can do anything except move forward in life, if that makes any sense.
I'm a father of one, a daughter. I have a loving wife, but many years ago we struggled to conceive. I tried to be supportive but struggled with my own mental health. I avoided facing the issue and ignoring the darkness inside. The hobby helped me to recover, but now I try to help others with similar mental health issues, while enjoying all aspects of the hobby, including creative writing. If I never win another game it does not matter. I enjoy the game for the community and camaraderie. If I can help inspire others to do better and be better people, then I will have been successful as a hobbyist, as a father and a man. Even as a former martial artist winning was important, but working on myself was more important. I hope to instill good work ethic, open mindedness and 'glass half full' attitude in others- Something that took me years to build within myself
I have many parallels with you. There's such a myriad of emotions that can crush you at an inopportune moment. It's something almost impossible to prepare for. Evasion is the most effective solution, until it isn't. I'm not sure what I'm really adding, only acknowledgement of this life challenge. Kudos for coming out the other side with such a good outlook.
I'm a father of a seven year old boy. I started out with Warhammer in my late teens. I've painted green army men and cheap plastic skeletons with my boy and he absolutely loves it. I love the universe but i think the game is over complicated especially when the kiddo is so young. (He's mostly into video games atm and loves the warhammer games like Space Marine 2 and Vermitide.) i've been debating on getting my old models out and playing OPR to foster a love of the hobby for my kid since it's so easy to teach.
7, gotta be narrative scenarios. Basic rules: shooting, svs ect. No special rules! If you can, maybe some space marine characters versus some mainstay nids. (Bring them in each turn so you can tailor the opposition and game length on the fly).
Good evening, Heretics. I'm a single parent/Dad. Of two children. They are interested in playing 40k with me. I just need to get a big table and get all the terrain and two armies painted for a game of boarding actions. I am 49 on Monday and have been in the game since 1988. I stay at home. And look after my kids. I am a private security contractor when i work. I get my warhammer from Ebay because it's cheaper than going to a Gw store or local hobby store. I don't have any friends. Because I'm a single parent. Everyone i meet are not in the same Life situation as me. So i can not connect with people. I just stay at home and look after my kid's. Watch movies build 40k stuff. And teach my kid's to be good people. But never crule or a victim of modern society.
Dude, it doesn't have to be that way. You can connect with others through common interests and hobbies. Kids are far more aware than we give them credit and can pickup on things like loneliness. You owe it to your kids to put yourself back out there and make some friends. If you're ever in Leeds I'd be happy to play a game and have a beer with you.
I don't really do well with other people or relationships but the past 6 months I've started putting myself out there and have found some really great people to engage with in this hobby. I wish i could be that guy to buy models for someone who needs the hobby i just dont have that money but i always try and chat with someone in the store i play in who i just wandering around looking interested or talking about painting. I play OPR more than 40k though and honestly the best investment I've made is my fdm printer for $200. When the models cost you about 10 cents to make painting those models becomes much less daunting so my painting has improved a lot in the past year. Thanks North for the encouragement not to give up on finding a community.
You understate how bad things really are. You line up 5 20something young men, 2 of them are lost. Across all of society. This is an unprecedented crisis that should terrify everyone given how bad it is, what happens every time it ever ha happened, and the fact it's getting worst.
My youngest son is 8 and is getting very keen on 40k (I’m a Dad). We’re working through painting the ultimate starter set and he just got a land raider for Christmas. I’m taking the Tyranids (of course) and he’s taking the Ultramarines. He’s now talking about creating his own chapter, so between us we’re using downloaded and printed diagrams of marines for him to create a colour scheme. Him and his brother are working on the basecoats and as an old 40k grognard, who’s been doing this since 1989 (albeit with a 20 year break), I’m doing the shading, highlights and bases. Next armies will be either Genestealer Cults, Chaos Space Marines or Imperial Guard.
6 months... You're probably a fair while away from the climbing stage. Secure your hobby area! Raise your desk etc. Have distractions ready to go if needs be (toys or what not). Remember, they will learn to throw. Stay safe out there! 😉
Father here, 25 with a 5 stepson and 2 son, started collecting just before I met my partner, sure it’s slowed me down with my building and painting and collecting but 60% of my warhammer group are fathers, my kids give me so much joy i put them before my hobby 9.5/10 I can’t wait for them to grow up and join me
Hello North. Just recently got into 40k. Not sure how it slipped by me in my 40 years of life. Anyways, I have a 6 yr old daughter and a 7 month old son. Cant wait to try my best to influence them into my hobbies. My daughter loves all mediums of art so there’s a good chance she might enjoy it once she gets a bit older and isn’t scared of the grim dark setting. Well… Take care and keep producing content.
My brother has been wanting to play AoS ever since the new edition came out. There’s only so many times we can play against each other before it gets repetitive. One day a younger guy, still in high school, was wanting to try Seraphon. My brother was quick to teach him how to play, and I let him borrow my Seraphon for their first game. Soon one person turned into four. I think my brother has learned that he enjoys teaching people. Not only that, but helping them get better. A mixture of giving them reminders and allowing them to figure out things themselves. That being said, every time we go to the local game store, it’s loud and chaotic at times. Whether there’s cartoons playing on the store tv, people coming over to talk about 40k when my brother is teaching AoS, or people wanting to start unnecessary discussions. Like Deathwatch shouldn’t be an army, the Ad Mech codex has nothing wrong with it, X person is so competitive and toxic, it’s like some of the people there want to get into a debate. We’ve started looking into making a gaming table at our apartment and cultivating our own gaming group, and we’re able to control the environment, especially the noise level.
That was great, North. Gave me a lot to think about. I'm not a father yet, but hoping to be one soon. In my state we have an OPR club so I'm certainly stepping up to be a leader with our local gaming community.
I am an old soul who lost 2 different LGS over Covid and the like. I am in my 50's and remember what you are talking about. When I can, I try to help people, give advice and if needs be, a shoulder to cry on. We are not gone, but we are few. But if a lad needs a shoulder, or someone who's been through shit, I'm there for 'em. Your channel is an inspiration. And I will happily put on my Black Cowboy hat and go to the last Game shop in the area. Let's hope I can help.
Emotional overinvestment can definitely be a challenge for some. Especially in a hobby that has such a creative component. Best to always be mindful of those mental trappings.
Stay at home dad here to a little girl, a 13 year old step son and soon to be young lad. The hobby has been great for me right now I'm able to paint and destress from the kids at home however as a stay at home dad I don't get as much free time to head out to socialise, go to the hobby store or play games. Hopefully I will do it more in the future however right now I'm making the most of the time I have with the kids and enjoying the time I can listen to you and paint. Cheers for all you do North
Father of 4 and bought the 40k starter box for myself and my oldest (8) this Christmas. We are both loving it, and the binding experience has been great.
Hobby-wise, I've seen a lot of guys my age (40s+) who dropped out of the hobby for an extended period, and then got back into it once our kids became older and our lives became more settled. So when we start up again, we're being taught "the current hobby" by guys 10-20 years younger than us who haven't got to that break point. We don't fit your definition of "Hobby Dad" because we havent had that long unbroken involvement that our own Hobby Dads did back in the 80s and 90s. Some of my hobby friends are long-term buddies and we're there for each other, in hobby and out. I'd take on that role out of hobby with less-close hobby friends, where my life experience would be useful, but they're better painters and gamers than me, so... I'd never fit that definition, and neither would most of the other 50-something hobbyists i know 🤷♂️
My local LGS would have summer school kids bused in once a month and I would teach them any tabletop game they wanted. (It usually was 40K) I would set up a stronger force for them to control and I would run my Orks with big meks so they can watch them fall. And this one chaperone didn’t like how comfortable I was with these kids and stopped it. The only reason I was chosen to lead was because I’m a u12 lacrosse coach who was vetted by my local school district. So frustrating.
This is a great message, and I am that guy in other areas of my life, but I will make sure to spend more time in the hobby store and try and be that supportive guide to younger lost guys in the hobby.
My fourteen year old son has got me back into the hobby after about twenty five years. He’s got an older half brother who’s recently become a 40k fanatic (he’s playing UltraMarines of course 😅). My lad is Orks and Black TemplarsI’ve still got a my Jez Goodwin Eldar from back in the day (not to badly mangled after two and a half decades in a shoe box. Had to drill and pin a few legs back together, and enjoying repainting them) We’ve been having a good laugh playing Indy games systems OPR and Space Weirdos, 3rd edition and scratch building Ork vehicles from charity shop Tonka toys.Even at fourteen my lad thinks GW as it is now is a bit of a con. I’ve been showing him the Oldhammer way! Great stuff North. Keep up the good work
I'm a bit jaded and hateful of GW, but I recognize that my lads at my club want to play their games. So I'll strive to become that lynchpin as they don't have one at the moment. I'm organizing a narrative campaign in Age of Sigmar for the lads. Then later this year I'll try and get them into Warmaster Revolution as I can easily print everyone an army.
In my experience as someone with depression and G.A.D (general anxiety disorder.), the hobby has been wonderful for me. As a transwoman im lucky to have a queer-friendly store (relatively) near me. When i started therapy, i told my therapist about the hobby and my social life which was mostly online, and he suggested i take the measured risk of putting myself in more social situations, whatever i could stomach. Thinking of the store i had been to a few times at that point, i stopped by and they mentioned they had a paint night! So i started simple and went to paint night week after week. Its a small store and so i was usually the only one there, but after the second or third time the store owner started sitting down with me, and working on his own models! He then introduced me to someone who played killteam, which was great as i was painting a blooded kill team! That turned into kill team and painting every week, i even had the courage to join the stores painting competition. For reference, i get paranoid walking into a grocery store due to GAD, and the only way i get through that is usually by distracting myself with an earbud with music or podcast or something and knowing *exactly* what i need before hand. Im not healed, or fixed, and ive got a very long way to go, if i can even get there. But the impact this hobby and that store specifically has had on me is profound. I have things to look forwards to, regular little nights where i can share my love of these plastic little guys with, and im meeting new people without having a panic attack. Hell tonight im meeting a kill team group that ive been added to, gonna be 4 other new people to me there and im excited instead of scared. Im not dying for any reason to have to cancel, i can barely sit still waiting for the clock to move. Its a massive change for me, and im so incredibly thankful for my store and for my therapist giving me that push.
I realise i didnt emphasize enough but what made me think of all this is the game store owner and the guy who taught me kill team, theyre both older guys and theyve been incredible influences for me. It makes my nights when the owner sits and paints models with me, or my new friend hits me up for a game, even if he destroys me i have a blast. Life feels so much brighter
I run a local wargaming group in Exeter, Devon and love helping newcomers into tabletop wargaming. I host the group and I do feel like the dad of the group, but not the only dad there haha.
I have my kids all into battletech. The baby wears mecha onsies (definitely decided that for himself lol). The next oldest colors robots with crayons and builds megablock bots, has a plushie. His older sister collects the minis and is serious about her painting (7), her older brother (10) rolls dice any chance he can get.
I've workwd with kids for years and i really want to be a dad someday and I'd love to be able to spend hours painting models and building lego with my kids someday. When I'm working with kids it honestly hits so hard when i share my hobbies with the kids and see their faces light up. I remember we had a lego day and i brought some sets to give the kids and the joy on their faces was more precious than anything in existence. I cant wait to be a dad.
Usually I don’t really watch the rants and hobby nightmares because all the negativity people experience kinda gets me down but the message of this video is incredibly important and you are a great man for what you did in your time as a manager at gw
Living in south Devon we have a great local hobby shop but am struggling still to get to play a game of 40k dad of a 10 year old I get my full playing Space Marine 2 now
Pulling a punch in a game, giving a positive compliment, or even just asking if someone is ok. All of it takes effort but costs nothing. When I would play games with people at my shop, saying “that was clever” or “nice move” would go miles with people. Their faces would light up and they would smile. Didn’t cost me a penny, but was worth all the time to do it.
before I watch the video i do want to give my two cents on the topic the title seems to be talking about. Men are both the greatest force for good and the most dangerous force of destruction we have. Not saying that women can’t be saint like or deplorable evil people but men are the ones who have brought us the luxuries we many times take for granted. Men also are the protectors and providers of civilization. On the other hand men have also been the barbarians at the gates trying to break in and commit horrible acts. As a result we need young men to have good string healthy mentors and older men (especially fathers) are the best people for that job. Now let’s say you are single (by choice or not) or don’t have kids (again by choice or not). That does not mean you can’t be a good male role model to the younger men out there, because you should still do that. Help and support the young boys and men in the hobby. Help them better themselves, show them how a man should act and what a man should do. With that in mind you really need to be good yourself. You don’t need to be perfect but you need to be working to better yourself before you try doing this.
Despite some other topics that you've touched in the video, this is what i took from it: We need to form communities and that can only happen with some level of leadership. Not as a boss, or a commander, or even as a single person, but as someone who guides and inspire young people. The thing is, our current "society" don't like that. North, this will be long, so i don't blame you for not reading it, but i'm taking this oportunity to vent about this topic and share my view points. Here is my problem with your "sitting in the hot water and complaining that is hot" mentality, at least in the context of this video. It sounds like coaching. Like those coaches, who point at others to call them "the glass is half empty" people, but when you ask them "-oh, so how about you guys in command, make things a little bit easier, for us down here?" the answer is always "-well, you see, we can't because [insert non reason here]" and i'm not talking about free money, i'm talking about at least fixing stupid things, that should never exist in the first place. I have read most of the comments in this video, at the time i'm posting mine, and a lot o people are sharing that they are parents with young kids, if not recetly born, and that they are trying, if not already enjoying, the hobby with their little ones. However, the ones who shared the reason why they aren't around, tells us that it's because of the anti-consumer practices of GW, lack of money and/or time and the current social environment. These problems, don't seem to be personal or isolated from our current social-economic situation. On the contrary, they seem to reflect the very issues that we constantly hear in hobby nightmares, caused by GW and the current culture. Despite our idignation with GW and with political extremists, these thing aren't exclusive of the hobby. Big companies have being exploting consumers and its employees, even with implementation of laws to fight it. Hell, this Woke nonsense is just another toxic poitivity, used as a weapon againt critcism and guess who loves to use it against you? Corporations/Bosses. Did you noticed how fast every single corporation accepted this shit, even though it doesn't make money? Beause it wasn't about money, it was about control, about "consume product, be exited for next product... or ELSE!". Just another flavour of "GW's good boy managers club", that punishes you for trying to do the right thing, if not the bare minimum of your job. Im recently in my 30s, don't have any real friends, work 6x1, have a decent salary for the standards of my country and i feel with no hope of a better life. I don't know what to study or where to go, to get a better job, since the only way to do it is by "nEtWoRkInG" (a.k.a. be a bootlicker to bad people above you or be very lucky). My dad worked at our state capital rapid transit, as an engineer and earned 4x what i earn today. He heard things, coming from his superiors, that, in a serious society, should be enought for them to be demoted or fired. A lot of his colleagues are still in the company, because they can't afford to retire, even though, they are in their 60s and overwork. New people, who seek the same position as my father, will be paid half of what he used to earn and, of course, be overworked for their positons and tools/means available. In the field that i've graduated, my chances are nearly 0% to get a job at industries, since i didn't do any internship for such, during college. If i were to work on a small business of my field, i would be force to almost break laws, to guarantee sales. In my current company, i just can't do the fuctions, that i was supposedly hired for, because the costumer always comes first and they can't be bother to hire more people, but they surely can open more stores. Most costumers are neutral, but, do you know what kind of person constatly treats us as servs, showing no respect at all? The same ones who constantly complaing about young people and that they don't want to work. I really don't like when people says "life is hard" as if to pass blame to nature, for what our society created, even though we created it to avoid the burdens of nature. The same people that tells us to "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" are the same that could buy a house, have two cars and raise a family of four with my current salary. I will never buy a decent house with the money i make. Sure, i can rent, however, i pay double of what's worth it, burn money and have one third of the space of a normal house. You guys in first world countries, sure like to tell people how they are spoiled, that they can "choose" where to work, but, guess what, every where else in the world, if you lose that decent job, chances are, you be left with only dead end jobs. Take my "decent" job for example, i earn around 9100 dolars per year, 700 per month. How am i supposed to do better in a world that is to expensive to live by myself and it's blaming young people for low birthrates?
These guys are still in the hobby, just, in my experience they haven't played 40k since 7th. They usually play heresy, old world, older editions of 40k/fantasy or historical games. I joined a great little heresy group (some stories via a hobby nightmare impending) and at almost 30 I am by a good 5 years the youngest person in the group, with most being in their 40s or 50s. Unfortunately, this group has been largely chased away by recent GW actions, with many leaving due to the death of Fantasy, and further leaving as 40k became more competitive focused.
Positive male mentorships are powerful forces for overall life improvement but I fear that the rise of toxic masculinity is symptomatic of the possibility that such people are being pushed out in droves. I can’t hope to ever quantify how much mentors of all ages and sexes have positively impacted me and hope most people can have such mentor relationships throughout their lives because it’s such an enriching learning experience. I’m new to WH40k so I cannot speak to any such experience at my local wargaming scene but if online communities are any accurate reflection, there does seem to be a lack of overall maturity on the community when certain topics are brought up.
When it comes to Warhammer and gw products some of the choices the company has made in the recent past might be a contributing factor in the last 5-10 years. When it comes to the stores themselves they are no longer a place to play games at which would normally being people in and gather together, the new attitude to customers to get them to buy then get the customer out of the store. Unlike areound the times when i was playing at gw stores in the earely 2000's, scheduled game days and events would bring people into the store naturally. While depending on the area you might not have other options than the gw store and with no games in store it can lead to the local community fizzleing out. There was just something different gaming at an offical GW store that kind of made it special. Some may have dropped out because at that point the place to game at is no longer available. It also probably didn't help with some of gw past and recent social media posts and the very much activist issues behind then which can rub people the wrong way and move away from those companies. The lore ties into this a little bit but it can be a factor for someone leaving the hobby if the gw ip's were the only ones that they followed. And there have been a story or two on here of activists taking over a store and pushing out good people like a hobby father figure.
Man to have family , kids, the very idea sounds get. I can only envy those that can have a family. From my expiriance, when l still could go to stores, my expiriance with "older" players was always positive. End 80s , when l started, it was thanks to dudes who were in to historicals. We used to "play" using rules for military schools war games. The rulebook had nice green covers . The pee pee part made me chuckle , because both l wish l still had one or could go anyway , my own or someone elses.
Young men who can, should get their passports and date overseas, this is what us black men in the USA is doing now and it is great! It is what I'm doing and now I live with a wonderful Thai women, I also have played 40K here in Thailand, think outside the box
With all the fatherless behavior going on in the community I agree with you 100% Just give me a few years, gotta graduate and get a steady job. The girl I fancy also lives on the other side of the globe, so gotta deal with that as well
So maybe my story doesn’t matter if we’re only caring about male mental health issues which is quite fair y’all need your space too. But I got kicked out my senior year oh high school and my dad has been absent for a hot minute I was only really close with my step dad but he died shortly after I got kicked out and he got me into models and all this I’ve found some older men who are now actually willingly taking on that father figure role for me and it’s helping me so much gritting through.
Oh god, what a pathetic load of self congratulatory drivel that first six minutes is. I gave up before I pulled a muscle rolling my eyeballs so hard. Still have a lot of growing up to do there fella. When you finally manage it, it's possible you'll realise that there are a lot of reasons people may decide not to live life the way you do...and it's not necessarily because they can't get their peepee touched. What an utterly juvenile statement to make. Perhaps us oldsters are avoiding the younger generation because they all continually spout that kind of judgemental playground rhetoric.
The attack on mgtow hit a nerve? Yeah, North's assumptions can be annoying. But the adoption of mgtow by spiteful mutants and incels is a more recent phenomenon that colours an outsiders opinion. Especially as the more virtuous mgtows stepped out of the spot light several years ago. (Or were drowned out by more popular garbage)
My boy seemed very interested in my warhammer (Tau) and wanted his own army. So, like any hobbyist father would, bought him a 1000 point army outright. Of course, he's only seen 500, so I don't overwhelm him with the sheer workload the hobby entails. So far, we've built the 500 points, and I got him a codex (the kroot box codex is cheaper than the regular one on ebay) He's 10, and I hope he stays interested. If he doesn't, it just means I have a 1000 point Tau army for me to use.
It's your tau army... He may become frustrated being your auxiliary. 😊 Check out the combat patrol mag. You might be able to get a few cheap projects for him. I think Eldar are coming up soon...
I'm a father of three, my wife and I started as soon as possible, North I'm the same age as you and my eldest can have a beer with me now. The hobby has been in our lives the entire time, when my family life was stressful or hard I soothed it with 40k, whenever my kids where at an impass or were upset or confused, sitting them down and doing the hobby with me helped them alot. Now the young apprentices at work have found out how much I love 40k and they have jumped in with both feet, I teach them the lore and the game (including opr), they come with questions or scenarios and I love seeing the look in thier face as I explain this grandious bombastic universe to them. There's no better feeling than genuinely fostering our hobby to others.
There isn’t a single thing in the world that’s been better for me that being a father. No amount of money, no hobby and no accomplishments or accolades come anywhere close.
I feel like in the 90s and early 00s we got a lot of people from 40-50 who were the old school wargaming guys who would have been college students nerding out with their historical regiments in the 1970s, and the kind of guys that were into model railways.
Whereas a lot of kids and teens into it in the 90s and 00s dropped off when they went to Uni and through their 20s and are only coming back now. I can only speak for my FLGS but there are a hell of a lot of people who have taken a 20+ year hiatus from 40K and are just starting to buy and paint stuff again post Covid, with their own kids or not.
As a white married man of 4, I've brought my family along into the hobby. Was even asked by my kids school to help teach a strategy games class. But the world has made it wierd for honest folks to interact with kids. It's just not worth the risk of interacting with anyone else kids man. Real talk. You know as well as I do 1) kids can be scandalous, saying and doing horrible things "for fun" 2) all it takes 1, just 1 accusation no matter how false, is enough to destroy, absolutely destroy you as a man. 3) adults really have no place around kids in general. Adults and child CANNOT be "friends". 4) like I said earlier, the world has made men extremely apprehensive and cautious around women, children, (insert special group here). Why take the chance? Real question, why risk your freedom, reputation and life?
This really hits home. I'm late 30s, on the spectrum. I had resources growing up 20 years ago like mentors and holiday programs that really helped me out; I still remember those guys to this day.
I recently wanted to give back to the autistic community in the same way, through tabletop gaming to develop social skills, or mentoring. Just help kids and parents after everything my folks and I learnt the hard way, share my persepctive as a child and what helped me. You know, things like that. Got shot down real quick.
@tatoferret3167 My meaning may have been misunderstood. I WANT to teach, to mentor, to foster young kids. I got 4 of my own I chose to make lol. It's just dangerous, in more ways then it should be, to do any good today where this is concerned. I've personally seen too many friends, and myself, get done dirty, only to later be vindicated in their denial by confessions. Shame really, good folks are hard to come by.
13:50 You're completely correct about this. I feel like I'm only about 40% of a human being. No friends, no purpose, no real interests outside of the hobby, but I do have a lot of skill and knowledge built up somehow. It's a really odd place to be. I feel like I can do anything except move forward in life, if that makes any sense.
Hi North, the Mrs and I are having our first in a few months. Excited to share 40k with her as she grows.
When she can talk get her to pick the colours of the miniatures your painting(be sensible). It can be a lot of fun.
I'm a father of one, a daughter. I have a loving wife, but many years ago we struggled to conceive. I tried to be supportive but struggled with my own mental health. I avoided facing the issue and ignoring the darkness inside.
The hobby helped me to recover, but now I try to help others with similar mental health issues, while enjoying all aspects of the hobby, including creative writing.
If I never win another game it does not matter. I enjoy the game for the community and camaraderie. If I can help inspire others to do better and be better people, then I will have been successful as a hobbyist, as a father and a man.
Even as a former martial artist winning was important, but working on myself was more important.
I hope to instill good work ethic, open mindedness and 'glass half full' attitude in others- Something that took me years to build within myself
I have many parallels with you. There's such a myriad of emotions that can crush you at an inopportune moment. It's something almost impossible to prepare for. Evasion is the most effective solution, until it isn't.
I'm not sure what I'm really adding, only acknowledgement of this life challenge. Kudos for coming out the other side with such a good outlook.
I'm a father of a seven year old boy. I started out with Warhammer in my late teens. I've painted green army men and cheap plastic skeletons with my boy and he absolutely loves it. I love the universe but i think the game is over complicated especially when the kiddo is so young. (He's mostly into video games atm and loves the warhammer games like Space Marine 2 and Vermitide.) i've been debating on getting my old models out and playing OPR to foster a love of the hobby for my kid since it's so easy to teach.
7, gotta be narrative scenarios. Basic rules: shooting, svs ect. No special rules! If you can, maybe some space marine characters versus some mainstay nids. (Bring them in each turn so you can tailor the opposition and game length on the fly).
Good evening, Heretics. I'm a single parent/Dad. Of two children. They are interested in playing 40k with me. I just need to get a big table and get all the terrain and two armies painted for a game of boarding actions. I am 49 on Monday and have been in the game since 1988. I stay at home. And look after my kids. I am a private security contractor when i work. I get my warhammer from Ebay because it's cheaper than going to a Gw store or local hobby store. I don't have any friends. Because I'm a single parent. Everyone i meet are not in the same Life situation as me. So i can not connect with people. I just stay at home and look after my kid's. Watch movies build 40k stuff. And teach my kid's to be good people. But never crule or a victim of modern society.
Dude, it doesn't have to be that way. You can connect with others through common interests and hobbies. Kids are far more aware than we give them credit and can pickup on things like loneliness. You owe it to your kids to put yourself back out there and make some friends. If you're ever in Leeds I'd be happy to play a game and have a beer with you.
TTS brought up the need for father figures years ago.
I don't really do well with other people or relationships but the past 6 months I've started putting myself out there and have found some really great people to engage with in this hobby. I wish i could be that guy to buy models for someone who needs the hobby i just dont have that money but i always try and chat with someone in the store i play in who i just wandering around looking interested or talking about painting. I play OPR more than 40k though and honestly the best investment I've made is my fdm printer for $200. When the models cost you about 10 cents to make painting those models becomes much less daunting so my painting has improved a lot in the past year.
Thanks North for the encouragement not to give up on finding a community.
You understate how bad things really are. You line up 5 20something young men, 2 of them are lost. Across all of society. This is an unprecedented crisis that should terrify everyone given how bad it is, what happens every time it ever ha happened, and the fact it's getting worst.
The only thing that can save quite a lot of lost men is becoming a father. But the dating game is sooo not how it's supposed to be
@@RMCbreezy It's always a bad sign when the solution to a crisis is the outcome of the crisis already being solved in the first place.
@@ZontarDow I don't understand my guy. How is the lost men not being fathers an outcome of the crisis being solved?
@RMCbreezy you have it backwards, the solution to the crisis is them becoming fathers, but you can't solve it with its own solution.
My youngest son is 8 and is getting very keen on 40k (I’m a Dad). We’re working through painting the ultimate starter set and he just got a land raider for Christmas. I’m taking the Tyranids (of course) and he’s taking the Ultramarines. He’s now talking about creating his own chapter, so between us we’re using downloaded and printed diagrams of marines for him to create a colour scheme. Him and his brother are working on the basecoats and as an old 40k grognard, who’s been doing this since 1989 (albeit with a 20 year break), I’m doing the shading, highlights and bases. Next armies will be either Genestealer Cults, Chaos Space Marines or Imperial Guard.
1st time Dad of a now 6 month old.
The Hobby (and North here) help keep me grounded so damn much.
6 months... You're probably a fair while away from the climbing stage. Secure your hobby area! Raise your desk etc. Have distractions ready to go if needs be (toys or what not). Remember, they will learn to throw. Stay safe out there! 😉
Congratz and good luck. If you aren't one of Grandfather's worshipers already, you will be, liking it or not. HaHa
Father here, 25 with a 5 stepson and 2 son, started collecting just before I met my partner, sure it’s slowed me down with my building and painting and collecting but 60% of my warhammer group are fathers, my kids give me so much joy i put them before my hobby 9.5/10 I can’t wait for them to grow up and join me
Hello North. Just recently got into 40k. Not sure how it slipped by me in my 40 years of life. Anyways, I have a 6 yr old daughter and a 7 month old son. Cant wait to try my best to influence them into my hobbies. My daughter loves all mediums of art so there’s a good chance she might enjoy it once she gets a bit older and isn’t scared of the grim dark setting. Well… Take care and keep producing content.
Why do men use getting laid as a metric of success?
My brother has been wanting to play AoS ever since the new edition came out. There’s only so many times we can play against each other before it gets repetitive. One day a younger guy, still in high school, was wanting to try Seraphon. My brother was quick to teach him how to play, and I let him borrow my Seraphon for their first game.
Soon one person turned into four. I think my brother has learned that he enjoys teaching people. Not only that, but helping them get better. A mixture of giving them reminders and allowing them to figure out things themselves.
That being said, every time we go to the local game store, it’s loud and chaotic at times. Whether there’s cartoons playing on the store tv, people coming over to talk about 40k when my brother is teaching AoS, or people wanting to start unnecessary discussions. Like Deathwatch shouldn’t be an army, the Ad Mech codex has nothing wrong with it, X person is so competitive and toxic, it’s like some of the people there want to get into a debate.
We’ve started looking into making a gaming table at our apartment and cultivating our own gaming group, and we’re able to control the environment, especially the noise level.
I think alot of those people who look for those debates are just looking for someone to talk to because they're lonely.
Dad here, new to the hobby, a month in with a 2k army. Ive been able to cut back on vices a lot thanks to painting
Mars needs Moms, Warhammer needs Fathers.
The Mom’nisire…
That was great, North. Gave me a lot to think about. I'm not a father yet, but hoping to be one soon. In my state we have an OPR club so I'm certainly stepping up to be a leader with our local gaming community.
I am an old soul who lost 2 different LGS over Covid and the like. I am in my 50's and remember what you are talking about. When I can, I try to help people, give advice and if needs be, a shoulder to cry on. We are not gone, but we are few. But if a lad needs a shoulder, or someone who's been through shit, I'm there for 'em. Your channel is an inspiration. And I will happily put on my Black Cowboy hat and go to the last Game shop in the area. Let's hope I can help.
Emotional overinvestment can definitely be a challenge for some. Especially in a hobby that has such a creative component. Best to always be mindful of those mental trappings.
Stay at home dad here to a little girl, a 13 year old step son and soon to be young lad. The hobby has been great for me right now I'm able to paint and destress from the kids at home however as a stay at home dad I don't get as much free time to head out to socialise, go to the hobby store or play games. Hopefully I will do it more in the future however right now I'm making the most of the time I have with the kids and enjoying the time I can listen to you and paint. Cheers for all you do North
Father of 4 and bought the 40k starter box for myself and my oldest (8) this Christmas. We are both loving it, and the binding experience has been great.
Hobby-wise, I've seen a lot of guys my age (40s+) who dropped out of the hobby for an extended period, and then got back into it once our kids became older and our lives became more settled. So when we start up again, we're being taught "the current hobby" by guys 10-20 years younger than us who haven't got to that break point. We don't fit your definition of "Hobby Dad" because we havent had that long unbroken involvement that our own Hobby Dads did back in the 80s and 90s.
Some of my hobby friends are long-term buddies and we're there for each other, in hobby and out. I'd take on that role out of hobby with less-close hobby friends, where my life experience would be useful, but they're better painters and gamers than me, so... I'd never fit that definition, and neither would most of the other 50-something hobbyists i know 🤷♂️
Awesome message. 10/10
My local LGS would have summer school kids bused in once a month and I would teach them any tabletop game they wanted. (It usually was 40K) I would set up a stronger force for them to control and I would run my Orks with big meks so they can watch them fall. And this one chaperone didn’t like how comfortable I was with these kids and stopped it. The only reason I was chosen to lead was because I’m a u12 lacrosse coach who was vetted by my local school district. So frustrating.
This is a great message, and I am that guy in other areas of my life, but I will make sure to spend more time in the hobby store and try and be that supportive guide to younger lost guys in the hobby.
To be fair, the dating world is not fun. Having a hell of a time here. Working on being a dad, but kinda need another half to make it happen.
I don't hate women, but I haven't bothered to try to form a romantic connection in years either.
My fourteen year old son has got me back into the hobby after about twenty five years. He’s got an older half brother who’s recently become a 40k fanatic (he’s playing UltraMarines of course 😅). My lad is Orks and Black TemplarsI’ve still got a my Jez Goodwin Eldar from back in the day (not to badly mangled after two and a half decades in a shoe box. Had to drill and pin a few legs back together, and enjoying repainting them) We’ve been having a good laugh playing Indy games systems OPR and Space Weirdos, 3rd edition and scratch building Ork vehicles from charity shop Tonka toys.Even at fourteen my lad thinks GW as it is now is a bit of a con. I’ve been showing him the Oldhammer way! Great stuff North. Keep up the good work
6:46 . . . Except a man with nothing left to loose.
I'm a bit jaded and hateful of GW, but I recognize that my lads at my club want to play their games. So I'll strive to become that lynchpin as they don't have one at the moment. I'm organizing a narrative campaign in Age of Sigmar for the lads. Then later this year I'll try and get them into Warmaster Revolution as I can easily print everyone an army.
In my experience as someone with depression and G.A.D (general anxiety disorder.), the hobby has been wonderful for me. As a transwoman im lucky to have a queer-friendly store (relatively) near me. When i started therapy, i told my therapist about the hobby and my social life which was mostly online, and he suggested i take the measured risk of putting myself in more social situations, whatever i could stomach. Thinking of the store i had been to a few times at that point, i stopped by and they mentioned they had a paint night! So i started simple and went to paint night week after week. Its a small store and so i was usually the only one there, but after the second or third time the store owner started sitting down with me, and working on his own models! He then introduced me to someone who played killteam, which was great as i was painting a blooded kill team! That turned into kill team and painting every week, i even had the courage to join the stores painting competition. For reference, i get paranoid walking into a grocery store due to GAD, and the only way i get through that is usually by distracting myself with an earbud with music or podcast or something and knowing *exactly* what i need before hand. Im not healed, or fixed, and ive got a very long way to go, if i can even get there. But the impact this hobby and that store specifically has had on me is profound. I have things to look forwards to, regular little nights where i can share my love of these plastic little guys with, and im meeting new people without having a panic attack. Hell tonight im meeting a kill team group that ive been added to, gonna be 4 other new people to me there and im excited instead of scared. Im not dying for any reason to have to cancel, i can barely sit still waiting for the clock to move. Its a massive change for me, and im so incredibly thankful for my store and for my therapist giving me that push.
I realise i didnt emphasize enough but what made me think of all this is the game store owner and the guy who taught me kill team, theyre both older guys and theyve been incredible influences for me. It makes my nights when the owner sits and paints models with me, or my new friend hits me up for a game, even if he destroys me i have a blast. Life feels so much brighter
I run a local wargaming group in Exeter, Devon and love helping newcomers into tabletop wargaming. I host the group and I do feel like the dad of the group, but not the only dad there haha.
I have my kids all into battletech. The baby wears mecha onsies (definitely decided that for himself lol). The next oldest colors robots with crayons and builds megablock bots, has a plushie. His older sister collects the minis and is serious about her painting (7), her older brother (10) rolls dice any chance he can get.
LIKES FOR THE LIKE GOD, COMMENTS FOR THE COMMENT THRONE
I've workwd with kids for years and i really want to be a dad someday and I'd love to be able to spend hours painting models and building lego with my kids someday. When I'm working with kids it honestly hits so hard when i share my hobbies with the kids and see their faces light up. I remember we had a lego day and i brought some sets to give the kids and the joy on their faces was more precious than anything in existence. I cant wait to be a dad.
As a father of two, this video was phenomenal. We beee men who can get kicked in the balls by life and get back up. Respect, and the emperor protects
My 7 years old asked me to paint miniatures.
Usually I don’t really watch the rants and hobby nightmares because all the negativity people experience kinda gets me down but the message of this video is incredibly important and you are a great man for what you did in your time as a manager at gw
Living in south Devon we have a great local hobby shop but am struggling still to get to play a game of 40k dad of a 10 year old I get my full playing Space Marine 2 now
I totally understand the house metaphor.. . .
We Freemasons build our Temple.
Pulling a punch in a game, giving a positive compliment, or even just asking if someone is ok. All of it takes effort but costs nothing.
When I would play games with people at my shop, saying “that was clever” or “nice move” would go miles with people. Their faces would light up and they would smile. Didn’t cost me a penny, but was worth all the time to do it.
Yes! YES!!! THIS! The hobby needs more laid back and helpful players, hobby dads are it!
Been married for o er sixteen years, it is a blessing to have such a woman of quality ! ! !
It is not how many times to fall. . .
It is how many times you get back up ! ! !
before I watch the video i do want to give my two cents on the topic the title seems to be talking about.
Men are both the greatest force for good and the most dangerous force of destruction we have. Not saying that women can’t be saint like or deplorable evil people but men are the ones who have brought us the luxuries we many times take for granted. Men also are the protectors and providers of civilization.
On the other hand men have also been the barbarians at the gates trying to break in and commit horrible acts.
As a result we need young men to have good string healthy mentors and older men (especially fathers) are the best people for that job.
Now let’s say you are single (by choice or not) or don’t have kids (again by choice or not). That does not mean you can’t be a good male role model to the younger men out there, because you should still do that. Help and support the young boys and men in the hobby. Help them better themselves, show them how a man should act and what a man should do.
With that in mind you really need to be good yourself. You don’t need to be perfect but you need to be working to better yourself before you try doing this.
Glad you liked my 40kg post!
I will be sending you a nightmare on why I don’t go to my local game store anymore and why I go to the ones in my nearby city
Dad here
Besides the opening rants, great message and i agree with the rest of the vid. 🤙
Despite some other topics that you've touched in the video, this is what i took from it: We need to form communities and that can only happen with some level of leadership. Not as a boss, or a commander, or even as a single person, but as someone who guides and inspire young people. The thing is, our current "society" don't like that.
North, this will be long, so i don't blame you for not reading it, but i'm taking this oportunity to vent about this topic and share my view points.
Here is my problem with your "sitting in the hot water and complaining that is hot" mentality, at least in the context of this video. It sounds like coaching. Like those coaches, who point at others to call them "the glass is half empty" people, but when you ask them "-oh, so how about you guys in command, make things a little bit easier, for us down here?" the answer is always "-well, you see, we can't because [insert non reason here]" and i'm not talking about free money, i'm talking about at least fixing stupid things, that should never exist in the first place.
I have read most of the comments in this video, at the time i'm posting mine, and a lot o people are sharing that they are parents with young kids, if not recetly born, and that they are trying, if not already enjoying, the hobby with their little ones. However, the ones who shared the reason why they aren't around, tells us that it's because of the anti-consumer practices of GW, lack of money and/or time and the current social environment. These problems, don't seem to be personal or isolated from our current social-economic situation. On the contrary, they seem to reflect the very issues that we constantly hear in hobby nightmares, caused by GW and the current culture.
Despite our idignation with GW and with political extremists, these thing aren't exclusive of the hobby. Big companies have being exploting consumers and its employees, even with implementation of laws to fight it. Hell, this Woke nonsense is just another toxic poitivity, used as a weapon againt critcism and guess who loves to use it against you? Corporations/Bosses. Did you noticed how fast every single corporation accepted this shit, even though it doesn't make money? Beause it wasn't about money, it was about control, about "consume product, be exited for next product... or ELSE!". Just another flavour of "GW's good boy managers club", that punishes you for trying to do the right thing, if not the bare minimum of your job.
Im recently in my 30s, don't have any real friends, work 6x1, have a decent salary for the standards of my country and i feel with no hope of a better life. I don't know what to study or where to go, to get a better job, since the only way to do it is by "nEtWoRkInG" (a.k.a. be a bootlicker to bad people above you or be very lucky). My dad worked at our state capital rapid transit, as an engineer and earned 4x what i earn today. He heard things, coming from his superiors, that, in a serious society, should be enought for them to be demoted or fired. A lot of his colleagues are still in the company, because they can't afford to retire, even though, they are in their 60s and overwork. New people, who seek the same position as my father, will be paid half of what he used to earn and, of course, be overworked for their positons and tools/means available.
In the field that i've graduated, my chances are nearly 0% to get a job at industries, since i didn't do any internship for such, during college. If i were to work on a small business of my field, i would be force to almost break laws, to guarantee sales. In my current company, i just can't do the fuctions, that i was supposedly hired for, because the costumer always comes first and they can't be bother to hire more people, but they surely can open more stores. Most costumers are neutral, but, do you know what kind of person constatly treats us as servs, showing no respect at all? The same ones who constantly complaing about young people and that they don't want to work.
I really don't like when people says "life is hard" as if to pass blame to nature, for what our society created, even though we created it to avoid the burdens of nature. The same people that tells us to "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" are the same that could buy a house, have two cars and raise a family of four with my current salary. I will never buy a decent house with the money i make. Sure, i can rent, however, i pay double of what's worth it, burn money and have one third of the space of a normal house. You guys in first world countries, sure like to tell people how they are spoiled, that they can "choose" where to work, but, guess what, every where else in the world, if you lose that decent job, chances are, you be left with only dead end jobs. Take my "decent" job for example, i earn around 9100 dolars per year, 700 per month.
How am i supposed to do better in a world that is to expensive to live by myself and it's blaming young people for low birthrates?
North COOKED with this one
These guys are still in the hobby, just, in my experience they haven't played 40k since 7th. They usually play heresy, old world, older editions of 40k/fantasy or historical games.
I joined a great little heresy group (some stories via a hobby nightmare impending) and at almost 30 I am by a good 5 years the youngest person in the group, with most being in their 40s or 50s.
Unfortunately, this group has been largely chased away by recent GW actions, with many leaving due to the death of Fantasy, and further leaving as 40k became more competitive focused.
Positive male mentorships are powerful forces for overall life improvement but I fear that the rise of toxic masculinity is symptomatic of the possibility that such people are being pushed out in droves. I can’t hope to ever quantify how much mentors of all ages and sexes have positively impacted me and hope most people can have such mentor relationships throughout their lives because it’s such an enriching learning experience. I’m new to WH40k so I cannot speak to any such experience at my local wargaming scene but if online communities are any accurate reflection, there does seem to be a lack of overall maturity on the community when certain topics are brought up.
When it comes to Warhammer and gw products some of the choices the company has made in the recent past might be a contributing factor in the last 5-10 years. When it comes to the stores themselves they are no longer a place to play games at which would normally being people in and gather together, the new attitude to customers to get them to buy then get the customer out of the store. Unlike areound the times when i was playing at gw stores in the earely 2000's, scheduled game days and events would bring people into the store naturally.
While depending on the area you might not have other options than the gw store and with no games in store it can lead to the local community fizzleing out. There was just something different gaming at an offical GW store that kind of made it special. Some may have dropped out because at that point the place to game at is no longer available.
It also probably didn't help with some of gw past and recent social media posts and the very much activist issues behind then which can rub people the wrong way and move away from those companies. The lore ties into this a little bit but it can be a factor for someone leaving the hobby if the gw ip's were the only ones that they followed. And there have been a story or two on here of activists taking over a store and pushing out good people like a hobby father figure.
Man to have family , kids, the very idea sounds get. I can only envy those that can have a family. From my expiriance, when l still could go to stores, my expiriance with "older" players was always positive. End 80s , when l started, it was thanks to dudes who were in to historicals. We used to "play" using rules for military schools war games. The rulebook had nice green covers . The pee pee part made me chuckle , because both l wish l still had one or could go anyway , my own or someone elses.
Young men who can, should get their passports and date overseas, this is what us black men in the USA is doing now and it is great! It is what I'm doing and now I live with a wonderful Thai women, I also have played 40K here in Thailand, think outside the box
Id like to be a father but ladies have said no so far
With all the fatherless behavior going on in the community I agree with you 100%
Just give me a few years, gotta graduate and get a steady job. The girl I fancy also lives on the other side of the globe, so gotta deal with that as well
Dads play One Page Rules…sorry GW!
So maybe my story doesn’t matter if we’re only caring about male mental health issues which is quite fair y’all need your space too. But I got kicked out my senior year oh high school and my dad has been absent for a hot minute I was only really close with my step dad but he died shortly after I got kicked out and he got me into models and all this I’ve found some older men who are now actually willingly taking on that father figure role for me and it’s helping me so much gritting through.
Oh god, what a pathetic load of self congratulatory drivel that first six minutes is. I gave up before I pulled a muscle rolling my eyeballs so hard. Still have a lot of growing up to do there fella. When you finally manage it, it's possible you'll realise that there are a lot of reasons people may decide not to live life the way you do...and it's not necessarily because they can't get their peepee touched. What an utterly juvenile statement to make. Perhaps us oldsters are avoiding the younger generation because they all continually spout that kind of judgemental playground rhetoric.
Imagine having the spare time to write this comment.
The attack on mgtow hit a nerve? Yeah, North's assumptions can be annoying. But the adoption of mgtow by spiteful mutants and incels is a more recent phenomenon that colours an outsiders opinion. Especially as the more virtuous mgtows stepped out of the spot light several years ago. (Or were drowned out by more popular garbage)
@northernexile Imagine having the spare time to reply.
I got banned from your discord for calling someone a nonce lmao
Being father's would mean warhammer players are getting laid. Stop creating impossible standards
No, it happens after the kids are born. Then the stereotype is reinforced! 😉
My boy seemed very interested in my warhammer (Tau) and wanted his own army. So, like any hobbyist father would, bought him a 1000 point army outright. Of course, he's only seen 500, so I don't overwhelm him with the sheer workload the hobby entails. So far, we've built the 500 points, and I got him a codex (the kroot box codex is cheaper than the regular one on ebay)
He's 10, and I hope he stays interested. If he doesn't, it just means I have a 1000 point Tau army for me to use.
It's your tau army... He may become frustrated being your auxiliary. 😊
Check out the combat patrol mag. You might be able to get a few cheap projects for him. I think Eldar are coming up soon...