Best HFY Reddit Stories: War For Their Species (Humans Are Space Orcs)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 385

  • @zohan90210
    @zohan90210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1552

    Humanity: feeling savage today, think ill kick my own ass
    Xeno: that looks fun, think ill give you a kick too
    Humanity: that is the absolute worst choice you could have ever made

    • @chunkysweirdtoaster3081
      @chunkysweirdtoaster3081 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Humanity: that leg of yours is going to go up your own ass if you try it

    • @theredknight3736
      @theredknight3736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Humanity: look xeno we will chive your ass with a glass bottle, you're horrible thinking that you can come to OUR HOME an kick OUR ASS. * spits *

    • @Jim-dy4wv
      @Jim-dy4wv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      @@theredknight3736 Same energy as only i can kick my brothers ass

    • @krel7160
      @krel7160 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Human 2: 'HEY, HEY! NOBODY BEATS HIS ASS BUT ME!'

    • @theredknight3736
      @theredknight3736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@krel7160 * Unified slap *

  • @nortalian549
    @nortalian549 3 ปีที่แล้ว +912

    Humanity has the biggest “only I can bully my sibling” vibe

    • @DomR1997
      @DomR1997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Cause it's true lmao

    • @rowbot5555
      @rowbot5555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Australia and New Zealand in a nutshell

    • @JeffersonCountyMilitia
      @JeffersonCountyMilitia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Red blood this thinker than water.

    • @worldcomicsreview354
      @worldcomicsreview354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@rowbot5555 All the nations of the UK. And then the UK and France.

    • @rowbot5555
      @rowbot5555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@worldcomicsreview354 also true!

  • @stevensutton3577
    @stevensutton3577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +508

    Every good war starts with at least one of these three lines
    "It was supposed to be a short war."
    "It was a genocide."
    Or
    "They messed with our boats."

    • @xrayghost133
      @xrayghost133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      "Don't touch our boats. Ever."
      *"I SEE YOU TRYING!"*

    • @janwensveen1406
      @janwensveen1406 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      They killed my dog.

    • @rylancazabon4996
      @rylancazabon4996 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@janwensveen1406 okay prepare war ships

    • @dazeyndrowsy
      @dazeyndrowsy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Humans don't give a fuck is pretty damn good too

    • @evanwitt1871
      @evanwitt1871 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Why humans avoid war is a good one too

  • @Theycallmeyoshi1
    @Theycallmeyoshi1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +811

    Everyone laughing until the Human pulls out the Stalingrad Playbook.

    • @daz7052
      @daz7052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      No no. Everyone laughs until we pull out the Moscow playbook

    • @Fortressofironblood1776
      @Fortressofironblood1776 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Berlin

    • @CrabTastingMan
      @CrabTastingMan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      A lot of parallels I'm seeing here, what with the straight up mention of morale victory of the small "Doolittle Raid" on Tokyo which had a small 50 casualties but showed that these invaders are vulnerable.
      *Especially the liberation of many races is like when dozens of nations enslaved by Japan cheered when the American nukes liberated them.* Especially the Okinawans who had been annexed and oppressed for centuries and got to no longer be annexed into Japan until the 1970s.
      By the way, at the end of the Doolittle Raid when damaged American planes flew right over Japanese airspace and into the allied nation of the Republic of China, Japan specifically sought out the city of Quzhou for harboring and daring to escort the pilots back to American Navy (there are actual photos of citizens forming escorts around American pilots) and sent in murder battalions to personally massacre the civilians up close and personal, just like so many cities they have done already and will do (for example, in just 3 years Japan invaded Vietnam and killed 2 million. In 8 years Japan killed 22 million in China alone.) at a death toll of 250,000:
      250k may looks like the same number of nuclear casualties but Japan leaves out that 1/3 of those casualties were foreign slaves forced to work in Japanese weapons factories and mines, and Hiroshima was Japan's WMD production center (chemical gas bombs. It's germ bomb human experimentation and manufacture plants were in stationed in occupied territories in China), and Japan unlike Germany that never used WMDs (Atomic, Biological, nor Chemical, Hitler preferred suicide over trying to turn his disadvantaged state of war with such Weapons of Mass Destruction), was developing nukes right into the end of the war and when they couldn't do it on time, planned to bomb America with bubonic plague, anthrax, mustard gas chemical bombs in the September of 1945 called Operation Cherry Blossoms at NIght, but they were already doing to cities all over Asia for many years. But they actively leave that out of history and run the propaganda of playing "innocent victims who did no wrong whatsoever but was bullied by evil Americans")
      But according to official Japanese propaganda right into 2022, the war was all "America's fault for not selling American oil to Japan's invasions into China" which was hoped would stall their bloodthirsty war machine. The embargo of American steel and oil, instead of like normal countries did not stall Japan, but instead they sought to use the resource shortage as an excuse to go rob those from more Asian nations and enslave and massacre them silently afterwards to feign victimhood to "white people," and use the spoils to build up their industry which still stands today. *So Pearl Harbor was actually Japan's war for American Oil.* (Compare this to how Nixon slowly weened America's dependence on Middle Eastern oil after the Oil Shocks of the 70s in a plan that would take decades to manifest)
      (The Republic of China (now Taiwan) at the time was very busy fighting the Japanese invaders that started WW2 upon their invasion in 1937, of course without declaration of war as Japan has NOT EVER declared war in its invasion of dozens of nations, nor ever in history. It's like their tradition to cheat. Even the Soviet military advisors accompanying the Chinese Communist Party testified the CCP betrayed the communist civil war truce with the Republic, and instead actively evaded the invaders and just leeched off and stockpiled resources and spread propaganda that they were the only ones fighting the Japanese, all to destroy the Republic right after WW2),

    • @boblaryson3621
      @boblaryson3621 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      the earth defense was iowa jima. irl they waited until several waves landed and there wasn't any room to find cover before opening fire and wiping out the first waves

    • @worldcomicsreview354
      @worldcomicsreview354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@CrabTastingMan Cor, imagine actually beleiving that Japanese history textbooks say WW2 was America's fault.
      Actually they barely mention it, retreating into the past and talking about samurai and ninjas. Much like how I was 16 before I even knew there had been a British Empire (and I learned that when the headmaster, covering a science class, went off on an irrelevant rant). All my history classes ran from the Battle of Hastings to the coronation of Victoria, with events outside of Britain barely mentioned.
      This was a good thing that Britain would do well to return to ;)

  • @TrazynTI
    @TrazynTI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +584

    Humans : You want space vietnam you filty xenos?
    Xenos: What is space vietnam?
    Humans : That's it you'll get space vietnam whether you want it or not *Fortunate Son starts blasting*

    • @jameson1239
      @jameson1239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Nah it would be run through the jungle

    • @jameson1239
      @jameson1239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@robertcrawshaw9978 yeah probably

    • @worldcomicsreview354
      @worldcomicsreview354 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      "Vietnam? It's the Afghanistan of the East"
      "That doesn't answer our question"

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      *muffled screaming voice coming from a Human using a gas mask*
      "YOU WANT SOME NAPALM?"
      *other Humans in gas masks scream in joy*
      "I HAVE SOME NAPALM FOR YA!"
      *airship opens drop door, and while blasting "Paranoid" of Black Sabbath, it initiate the napalm bomb dropping marking the start the Calcination of [redacted]*

    • @bananananananabatman8999
      @bananananananabatman8999 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@worldcomicsreview354”trees? There are no trees in spa- …is that a ship in the shape of a tree?”
      *space tree broadcasts Vietnamese because humans are sarcastic assholes*

  • @dadgod3615
    @dadgod3615 3 ปีที่แล้ว +450

    *kills a bunch of civvies* humanity: do you know fear? You will.

    • @theredknight3736
      @theredknight3736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      * Doom music starts*

    • @emilymiller3362
      @emilymiller3362 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@theredknight3736 i believe that is *END BOSS* music you are hearing.

    • @theredknight3736
      @theredknight3736 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@emilymiller3362 indeed the xenos are totally screw my good sir

    • @willparry530
      @willparry530 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      The funny thing is the Xenos were operating based on how they saw humanity fight their own civil war. They didn't really factor in that we still frown on that stuff even when we recognize its inevitability.

    • @dadgod3615
      @dadgod3615 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@willparry530 no one kills us but us damnit.

  • @H3xx99
    @H3xx99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +249

    The equivalent of a bar fight going silent all at once as every eye in the room turns and looks directly at you.

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      the only noise. The soft click as the front door is locked with you still in there.

    • @bobrock6438
      @bobrock6438 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      It was at that moment he knew...
      *HE FUCKED UP*

    • @Darkinu2
      @Darkinu2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      After you just punched the bar favourite who was just minding his own business..

  • @riderstrano783
    @riderstrano783 3 ปีที่แล้ว +378

    15:04 the traditional Russian tactic “yuo see comrades, if we have more men than they have boolets, they can’t kill all of us”

    • @skoshman1
      @skoshman1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Also a Russia tranditional tactic: 'Save bullets. Fix bayonets. It is more fun this way."

    • @akriegguardsman
      @akriegguardsman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@skoshman1 more like Japanese

    • @ryantomer4126
      @ryantomer4126 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@akriegguardsman Banzia? *with a German accent*

    • @CrabTastingMan
      @CrabTastingMan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​@@akriegguardsman Unlike Russian version, the Japanese version failed miserably. Because they were too stupid to use preliminary artillery barrages before the assault. *They believed some idiotic "samurai spirit bushido" mumbo jumbo would let them withstand bullets in real life.* It's why while their troops were spread too thin trying to invade 20 different nations at once all without declaration of war as per the Japanese tradition to cheat, and 2 million of 3 million soldiers committed cannibalism (George HW Bush barely evaded becoming sushi)
      Just like how it happened in the Boxer Rebellion only, they didn't learn:
      *the Japanese decided to not upgrade their weapons so they don't HAVE to use dangerous suicide tactics, they upgraded only their suicide tactics.*
      Nowhere else in history would u find planes with NO WEAPONs and are ONLY DESIGNED FOR SUICIDE BOMBs. --ALLAHU AKBAR!--
      Hey wait, the Japanese were brainwashed to believe emperor hirohito is a literal living god and bowed and prayed to the direction of his imperial palace in tokyo every day, and various decentralized Shinto Shrines throughout Japan had its centuries-old deities defaced and its priests kicked out into the mountains and the temples hijacked by "National Shintoists" which still exist to this day and the deities replaced with only hirohito and his holy sons. (This is why Hitler lamented, why the German people would not worship their leader as a god like the Japanese do!)
      (And the Zen Buddhists at the time were telling people blowing themselves up for the holy emperor will get them to the "Pure Land" aka Zen Buddhist paradise. See the book "Zen at War" And Zen have been saying Christianity is violent and kept pointing to the Crusades all this time in their Japanese propaganda! :D )
      and where in other nations, "Suicide mission" is always a term used as an exaggeration of the high risks involved (yes, even in the Soviet Union they didn't APPROVE of wasting men. They weren't the ones inventing suicide bomb planes!), ONLY IN JAPAN IS "SUICIDE MISSION" LITERAL: they don't hope you would return alive despite the odds, the mission *_ONLY_** SUCCEEDS IF YOU COMMIT SUICIDE.*
      Oh kamikazes were just the Ouka suicide-only planes where ppl were screwed shut into their cockpits and given barely enough fuel and supervised by veterans with full fuel so suicide pilots can't escape but veterans can return back to base to goad more suicide pilots. They had Shinyo "Oceanquake" Suicide Boats, Kaiten "Return to Heaven" Suicide manned Torpedos, Kairyu "Sea Currents" Suicide 2-man submarines, and Fukuryu "Hidden Dragon" suicide diving suits + manned antitank mines of the same name.
      Hitler was once offered a program to train soldiers to do something milder but similar but even he thought it was idiotic, and unbecoming of a Germanic people to do this (instead he committed suicide rather than do things like that or use WMDs to turn the tide of war... unlike how the Japanese developed WMDs like nukes right to the end of the war and failing that, drew up a plan to bomb America with bubonic plague + mustard gas + anthrax germ bombs in the September of 1945 called *"Operation Cherry Blossoms at Night"...* but they were *already gas-bombing and germ-bombing all sorts of cities across Asia for years, killing 30 million.* Then trying to erase such history and play innocent victims who did no wrong to "evil American wypipo" and "Pearl Harbor was all America's fault for imposing an embargo on Japan on American Steel and American Oil which they had 90% dependence on for Japanese military conquests")
      See: Battle of Khalkin Gol where Russians destroyed Japanese assaults time and time again.
      *The ONLY REASON THE JAPANESE SURRENDERED HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH NUKES* it was just Japanese propaganda to guilt America. It was actually the Soviets barreling through the Japanese forces stationed in the Republic of China. Thinking they will be split like Germany would, they just killed a bunch of sex slaves throughout their colonies and buried their bodies, printed money for months on end to buy up all the gold and relics to use as the basis for their industry in their revival in the 60s, gave colonies "military tickets" that were only usable in Japanese-held territories and as such because worthless and caused hyperinflation and economic failure which was necessary for the spread of communism, then surrendered only to America (so technically Japan's war was never over with the Soviet Union), a tactic like so many Nazis who committed war crimes in Eastern Europe then ran right towards American troops to avoid their rightful fate in Soviet gulags or executions, except this was a nationwide scale.
      See, Japan by the time of August of 1945 no longer was fazed at all about casualty reports by the 10s of 1000s... remember these people were already sending 5 digits of ppl into suicide bombers. and therefore 250k nuclear casualties (the Japanese hide that 1/3 of those were slaves forced into labor in Japanese weapons factories and mines. Hiroshima was actually Japan's poison gas bomb production center. The tourist attraction "bunny island" in Hiroshima was actually their attempt to sugarcoat that island being the central stockpile of poison reagents so bad that it killed off all wildlife there enough for a reset for the ecosystem when after American troops neutralized the island's poison, someone brought bunnies.)

    • @IshijimaKairo
      @IshijimaKairo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@skoshman1 Ahaha! Jas ier kiez, en Varr als nie! *attaches sword to the end of the barrel*

  • @freedomfighter2054
    @freedomfighter2054 3 ปีที่แล้ว +253

    Alien: "wouldn't it be funny if we invaded the humans?"
    Humans: Wouldn't it be funny if we uno reverse carded you?
    Alien: "what."

    • @machinist7230
      @machinist7230 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      "Is that boss music?"😳

    • @halonut96
      @halonut96 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Humanity: " hey wouldn't it be funny if we fucking killed you all to the last lol"

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Humanity in space: RUSH B

    • @lockershocker7686
      @lockershocker7686 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *lighting the Molotov cocktail* "what?"

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Humanity: red alert 2 ost intensifies

  • @Chazz_K
    @Chazz_K 3 ปีที่แล้ว +168

    Humans: Fuck you!
    Other humans: FUCK YOU!
    Aliens: Fuck YOU!
    Every single human: *stares in impending genocide*

    • @kriegertechpriest7011
      @kriegertechpriest7011 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Humankind in its entirety: *When did you join this conversation B I T C H?*

  • @aso576
    @aso576 3 ปีที่แล้ว +313

    I like the idea that humans are seen as weak rule following weirdos but as soon as a war starts the mask comes of and were just feral

    • @mr.k4918
      @mr.k4918 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      FOR THE NEO-ENCLAVE!!!! cries the remains of the enclave in hidden bunkers shooting the xenos scum

    • @wildbeast7375
      @wildbeast7375 3 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Isn't that what all this is? We'd love to have a utopia, but can't agree on which is best. Our methods of thinking, which can be changed, focus on the negative and what's different rather than what's positive or similar. We have survived and conquered the planet not by taming animals and coexisting with nature but by dominating them and subjugating them with an iron fist.

    • @the13inquisitor59
      @the13inquisitor59 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      FOR THE EMPEROR!

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      We follow rules, when they no longer matter: same with any xeno life in the way

    • @SH-qs7ee
      @SH-qs7ee ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I like that no one questions why we are weak, rule following weirdos. Common sense dictates we made those rules for a reason.

  • @tyrschampion471
    @tyrschampion471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +489

    I love how some people read these stories and think that like a 15 year war is unrealistic. When the craziness of this species shows through you have to totally understand that we've just gone through a 20 year war over absolutely nothing but Miss information and rhetoric.
    Imagine if we had a common enemy , we would do disgusting things and call it a Tuesday.

    • @tyrschampion471
      @tyrschampion471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I personally believe that with how humans can turn from pacifist to a cesspool lust ,rage and cathartic violence as a fucking collective . Then back to pacifist ,all within a few centuries . Our space future looks more like 40k than startreck

    • @Zachomara
      @Zachomara 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      I'm guessing after that amount of militarization, it's just an indicator of how humanity just beat the absolute shit out of a xeno nation many times more advanced and powerful than they were.

    • @OzixiThrill
      @OzixiThrill 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Anyone who thinks that a 15 year war is unrealistic is ignorant, full stop.
      Anyone who thinks that a 15 year war *in space* is unrealistic needs to learn what space is.

    • @peacemaker63604
      @peacemaker63604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Look at the 30 or even 100 years war for ready proof of this.

    • @tyrschampion471
      @tyrschampion471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Deep down inside we just want to blow shit up . It's just that simple

  • @aso576
    @aso576 3 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    Xenos attacking humans is like a person walking into a room full of rats with cheese

    • @UNSCPILOT
      @UNSCPILOT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Seen a few videos of pet rats, they go much crazier for yogurt surprisingly.
      But yeah, terrible plan!

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@UNSCPILOT yogurt?
      They'd literally kill...for yogurt?

    • @UNSCPILOT
      @UNSCPILOT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@Crazylom maybe not kill... intentionally... but certainly swarm, look it up, adorable ratties love yogurt

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hornet nest, but with guns

    • @Si_Sireeni
      @Si_Sireeni 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Crazylom people kill for meth so...yeah

  • @Sapoman2211
    @Sapoman2211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    Aliens: *kill civilians*
    Humans: "Do you bleed? You will."

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Humanity: you bleed, you DIE

  • @lazarus9165
    @lazarus9165 3 ปีที่แล้ว +434

    Imagine being a race of reclusive psychics during these wars, your entire race needs to quarantine due to how sensitive you are to every single thinking creature in the galaxy.
    Now imagine out of nowhere, during one of the many petty wars your kind often senses, you feel the collective wrath of humanity, burning brighter than the greatest flame and blinding you in a way that even your own sun could never achieve.

    • @ReaperofValhalla
      @ReaperofValhalla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Now why you got to give us this writing prompt and not write a response of your own?

    • @lazarus9165
      @lazarus9165 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      @@ReaperofValhalla im better at concepts and ideas than actual storytelling. Sorry.

    • @ReaperofValhalla
      @ReaperofValhalla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@lazarus9165 no worries. I’m the exact same way!
      And I hate it

    • @DisIzDaName
      @DisIzDaName 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I would read the hell out of that story.

    • @douglasallar9176
      @douglasallar9176 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@lazarus9165 same

  • @aycfes
    @aycfes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +533

    i love how much shade some of these stories throw on the UN

    • @FrostyShock349
      @FrostyShock349 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Ironic the UN became the very thing they swore to prevent: dictators

    • @crayonchomper1180
      @crayonchomper1180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      the UN didn't do anything to prevent the Rwandan Genocide, when they easily could have

    • @vexile1239
      @vexile1239 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      @@crayonchomper1180 that never occurred according to the un, according to them it was only a few people who self unalived

    • @crayonchomper1180
      @crayonchomper1180 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      @@vexile1239 yeah, their refusal to even acknowledge the event is damning enough

    • @Nomed38
      @Nomed38 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      The President of the USA Woodrow Wilson declined joining the League of Nations because he foresaw it becoming a racketeering group of despots, at least that is the skuttlebutt.

  • @ivanelias3916
    @ivanelias3916 3 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    I'm not locked in here with you xeno, you're locked in here with me!
    *Humanity*

  • @Shawn_White
    @Shawn_White 3 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    Xeno: Humanity are dangerous and need to be stopped.
    Humanity: Federation or Terren Empire we leave that choice up to you

  • @troublemaker9899
    @troublemaker9899 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    My armour is Contempt.
    My shield is Disgust.
    My sword is Hatred
    Beware the Xenos, the Witch, the Mutant.
    In the Emperor's name. Let none survive.
    Ave Imperator.
    Gloria in excelsis Terra.

    • @kriegertechpriest7011
      @kriegertechpriest7011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      The guardsmen does not live for glory... The guardsmen dies for duty... the guardsmen does not retreat with cowardice... the guardsmen charges with fury and courage.... the guardsmen does not lay down and submit.... The guardsmen dies standing.... Though we have cheap equipment and armour.... Poor leadership and plans... Flaws in our minds and bodies... Afear in all our hearts...Even us Kreigers.... We fight on wards... holding that one inch... for one more seconds... for one more life to slip away unscathed..... That on inch we gain... Closer to victory... closer to peace... closer to a nightmare to end... A prayer for hope and light... answered in the time of need... We the gaurdsmen of the imperium stand... qlone and together... with fist and lasguns... from chimeara to imperial titan... Stood firm against the imperium's foes... As we have 10 millennium.... And for 10 millennium more we shall continue to stand firm... for we fight for our Emperor... Our Machine god... Our Imperium.... Our home... Our land's... Our family's... Our lives.... And for them we shall never falter... We shall never break... For we are the Imperial Guard...The wall of guns... The empeors hammer... And for those that face us... Your doom.

    • @cewla3348
      @cewla3348 หลายเดือนก่อน

      the WITCH!? the MUTANT!? holy fucking shit terraria superboss reference??

  • @TheQuyman
    @TheQuyman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +230

    The look on the Aliens face when they realize they invaded a colony called New Warsaw

    • @burpoi
      @burpoi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      *Kurwa noises intensifies*

    • @noctusdoesthings
      @noctusdoesthings 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Even in the far future, after all knowledge of the wars of the past has faded to the depths of time, all galactic wars will still begin with the invasion of Poland (or its claimed worlds)

    • @burpoi
      @burpoi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@noctusdoesthings who’s it then? The prussians? Or maybe the cathar. Maybe it’s the capellan federation looking to expand again

    • @the13inquisitor59
      @the13inquisitor59 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@burpoi Eyyy.

    • @burpoi
      @burpoi 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@the13inquisitor59 heyo

  • @aerfwefd7334
    @aerfwefd7334 3 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    *Xeno does Baby's First Warcrime*
    This angered Mankind, who punished them severely.

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      YOU DARE CITE THE DEEP MAGICS AT ME?! I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN!

    • @thyrussendria8198
      @thyrussendria8198 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Xeno! What are you doing? You could hurt yourself like that...
      *OBSERVE.*

  • @TarsonTalon
    @TarsonTalon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Humanity: "Only I can kick my own butt! Not you!"

    • @MrJinglejanglejingle
      @MrJinglejanglejingle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Its like with family and friends. "I can insult and fight with my family all I want. The instant you get in on it, I'm gonna beat your ass into the fuckin' dirt."

    • @gmailquinn
      @gmailquinn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Only I can hit another human!!!
      FRECK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Nyghtking
    @Nyghtking 3 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Imagine if humanity manages to become peaceful, and an alien race looks back at our history and see just what we did to ourselves before we got to where we would be.

    • @angieulaka
      @angieulaka 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      "It was not fear, But boredom that made Humanity so adept at peacemaking"

    • @Noah-vc6zh
      @Noah-vc6zh ปีที่แล้ว

      I don't think that will ever happen at all..maybe we will just go extinct in next 200 or 300 years...global warming..a possible 3rd world war..and so on...

  • @slavicgerman5104
    @slavicgerman5104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +258

    Uncared for by his god and wept for by none, beats a heart. A human heart, that carries with it the strength and courage of all mankind.Within that sack of meat is the hope, the will, and the fury of every man women and child from every corner of the Imperium. Within that weak sack of meat, festooned in thin armor and weapons only powerful in numbers , beats the heart of a man. And for ten thousand years, the hearts of men have beaten, strongly, in defiance of your so called "powers". For ten thousand years, your black crusades have been pushed back, beaten down, and made a mockery of, by weak sacks of flesh with cheap weapons and disposable equipment. For that weak sack of flesh that you so gleefully mock is no supersoldier, no immortal warrior, no creature cursed by chaos like you. He is a man, an Imperial Gaurdsman drawn from some forgotten corner of the Imperium to fight for his species and for the safety of the people he loves. He is a factory worker. a farmer, a storekeeper, a father, a brother, a son, a mere man. And against creatures like you teeming and numberless, powered by the wills of thirsting gods...He holds the line. He has held the line for ten thousand years. So what is your excuse, monster?

    • @silverbutterfly1739
      @silverbutterfly1739 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Wow

    • @sirfrancis8732
      @sirfrancis8732 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I recognize that copypasta

    • @IONATVS
      @IONATVS 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@sirfrancis8732 Part 2 of the WH40k copypasta (i think originally a 4chan /tg post, but not sure) “pity the guardsman”. Part one is a Chaos Space Marine monologuing/taunting after killing a bunch of guardsmen to intimidate the rest, part 2 is a loyalist Space Marine’s response when he shows up to the rescue.

    • @melvinking4173
      @melvinking4173 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      The planet broke before the guard

    • @peterwall8191
      @peterwall8191 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@melvinking4173
      Cadia still stands, still screaming defiance to chaos and their minions. It will continue to do so for as long as even one cadian exists.
      Faibadon did no break Cadia, he broke a rock in space. Cadia was never a rock. Cadia is the people, willing and able to sacrifice all FOR THE EMPEROR!!! and that chaos can never break.

  • @tehs3raph1m
    @tehs3raph1m 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Hans, it's a civil war, get the flammenwerfer.
    Wait... Xenos? best get the heavy flammenwerfer

    • @Noah-vc6zh
      @Noah-vc6zh ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes kommandant!

  • @kingmasterlord
    @kingmasterlord 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    ftl prohibitors? "I'm not locked in here with you, *you're locked in here with me!*"

  • @stevensutton3577
    @stevensutton3577 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Soo. This is basically "If you mess with one human. YOU MESS WITH EM ALL!"

  • @Eramiserasmus
    @Eramiserasmus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Humanity has some real deep and dark moments because they know it's the only way.

    • @pummipeikko6641
      @pummipeikko6641 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is also those times when we chose horrifying actions even tho we had other choises... For example the Holocaust

    • @hainleysimpson1507
      @hainleysimpson1507 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Really the Holocaust need the genocides in German run Africa where even more people were killed? With even more violent and twisted methods?

  • @mivapusa
    @mivapusa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    Aliens see human gun is empty *laughs*
    *Human fixes pointy metal on gun*
    *Alien stops laughing*

    • @kriegertechpriest7011
      @kriegertechpriest7011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      *Stares at xeno with souless black lenses*

    • @benjaminsovdottir4627
      @benjaminsovdottir4627 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      but its the Guz meme where he's laughing and then suddenly stops

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Me about to strap chainsaw on a plasma rifle: press r to reload with chainsaw

  • @kennethmoses4900
    @kennethmoses4900 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.”

    • @Slavicplayer251
      @Slavicplayer251 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      admiral Yamamoto in reference to the united states after pearl harbour

  • @igkslife
    @igkslife 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    I just had a thought.... ( note: off topic)....
    Murder hornets are hive minded creatures, yes? Then why not strap a insect size GPS chip on 1 of them?
    Find one, find them all type mentality.

    • @kirknay
      @kirknay 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Unlike more advanced (in biology) species, murder hornets are extremely biased toward killing off those who look ever so slightly off. It's a defense mechanism against disease or lookalike species stealing their food or offspring.

    • @sheevpalprotein9132
      @sheevpalprotein9132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That's actually similar to what they did to the non-native goats destroying the wildlife of the Galapagos Islands

    • @ComedicLetter
      @ComedicLetter 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@kirknay so, in the most over generalized and misrepresented way, racist bees?
      (Note: I would have said hornets, but that doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as bees in this case)

    • @kirknay
      @kirknay 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ComedicLetter closer to late soviet hornets. Everyone knows the KGB is watching, and there's a reward for tipping them off.

    • @BrunoMaricFromZagreb
      @BrunoMaricFromZagreb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That'd be a very nasty bamboozle to pull on a hive mind species.

  • @DimitriKurkov
    @DimitriKurkov 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    The xenos act like this and they act surprise when the Imperium is formed? Bruh.

    • @Sapoman2211
      @Sapoman2211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I had a multiplayer Stellaris game like that. Pretty much every player was machine empires, slaving despots, hive minds, and other stuff. I teamed up with another xenophile near me at the start. At the end, we ruled 2/3 of the galaxy and were fanatic xenophobe militarists. We never declared a single offensive war.

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Sapoman2211 You see comrad. When filthy xenos seek to push you around, every war is defensive in one form or another.
      Now, that trench shovel isn't gonna bloody itself.

  • @exsolutus1626
    @exsolutus1626 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    This one has a distinct "retelling of a Stellaris game" feel to it.

  • @Wraithfire27
    @Wraithfire27 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    To quote the human saying: "YOU DONE EFFED UP A. A. RON!!!"

  • @stevenweaver3386
    @stevenweaver3386 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    To borrow a quote about Iwo Jima the humans weren't on the 7th planet, they were in it. The shade of Gen. Kuribayashi was smiling, as the humans succeeded in causing the xenos to give up.

  • @doctorbright1065
    @doctorbright1065 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    "Against all the evil the xenos can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce. We will send unto them, only you. Rip and Tear, until it is done!"
    .
    .
    .
    It fits.

  • @stevenweaver3386
    @stevenweaver3386 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Humans using WW2 tactics of Germany, Japan, Soviets and America. Doolittle raid and submarine/Uboat commerce destruction. Last ditch no retreat defence, fight to last soldier, suicide attacks to take just one more Xeno with you. Stalingrad (Pavlov's House), Iwo Jima and Okinawa tactics to break the Xeno will to fight.

  • @jatelitherius9842
    @jatelitherius9842 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    You gotta get one of the civil war combatants on your side before you try to pull off 'invading the civil war shattered place'

  • @evernewb2073
    @evernewb2073 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    humans have two basic behavioral motivators: support our community and destroy threats, even self preservation and/or perpetuation falls pretty far behind those two
    we get so damned weird because in the current situation by *_FAR_* the greatest apparent threat is other humans...who just so happen to also automatically fall under that "community" categorization to at least some degree, this leaves us flipflopping impulse matrices from one whim to the next as a thing's degree of perceived threat and degree of perceived personal association is weighed on a moment to moment basis

  • @tadayoshi1434
    @tadayoshi1434 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    quite ironic the mention of the "dolittle raid" while fighting like the japanese in WWII lol

  • @stevedixon921
    @stevedixon921 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    All the resources and effort we put into kicking the stuffing out of ourselves, directed at one enemy.
    Group of humans scrumming in the dirt. Xeno think, "oooh, they are distracted", throws a rock into the mix. Xeno gets mobbed by the whole group, sent to the hospital. Humans go back to scrumming in the dirt. Mind your own, we have rules for this.

  • @Monster_Ink
    @Monster_Ink 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I liked this one a lot!
    It feels like most war stories forget to mention the other fronts most of the time, I really liked this one!
    For the algorithm!

  • @timeshark8727
    @timeshark8727 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The only person who gets to punch my bother is ME! Anyone else who tries gets jumped by me and my whole family.

  • @jrk22233
    @jrk22233 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Makes me think of the quote. I, against my brothers. I and my brothers against my cousins. I and my brothers and my cousins against the world

  • @Salt_discriminater
    @Salt_discriminater 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Aliens: we are the best fighter in the galaxy
    Humans: you are fucked! Thats what you are.

  • @galbert117
    @galbert117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Aliens: THE PLANET'S SPEAKIN HUMAN!
    Planet: *whispers varying insults in Human*

  • @number3766
    @number3766 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Humanity: They can't stop us all! Lets see dem aliens!
    In all honesty, you backed humanity into a corner and gave us a common enemy. What did you expect, humanity has always been on the back foot, we're good at it, don't challenge us in our speciality in our home turf.

  • @SergeyWaytov
    @SergeyWaytov 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Best way to make two opposing to the brim human factions to unite -- try assault one of those factions

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Bless the Narrator
    Bless the Author

  • @Chaosrunepownage
    @Chaosrunepownage 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Welcome to Space WWII, we got Stalingrad and D-Day in spades!

  • @rosebloodwater13
    @rosebloodwater13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    8:50 Classic "I'm not trapped in here with you. You're trapped in here with ME."

  • @tomhchappell
    @tomhchappell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    So, just make sure when you attack a group of humans, you convince some other group you’re no threat to them.

  • @jros4057
    @jros4057 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The instant I heard "empire" I began laughing like Leonardo Dicaprio while drinking wine in Django Unchained.

  • @couriersix4252
    @couriersix4252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    good job you're fighting the imperium of mankind

  • @Self-replicating_whatnot
    @Self-replicating_whatnot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Humans: "Hey, back off! We are the only ones who are allowed to kill our own civilians!"

  • @13thBear
    @13thBear 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Geez, 50% casualties of Humanity plus 9 planets! That is a horrific number of human lives!

    • @truekurayami
      @truekurayami 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And given Human nature in the face of true war, that is far from unacceptable losses. To most mutual extinction isn't to high of a price to pay if this actually happened.

    • @hokutoulrik7345
      @hokutoulrik7345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@truekurayami and knowing how birth rates spike after major wars, it will be recovered in at least three generations.

    • @jojoemcgeejoe457
      @jojoemcgeejoe457 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@hokutoulrik7345 Oh no! More Boomers.

  • @SpiritWolf1966
    @SpiritWolf1966 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I enjoy all of NetNarrator videos

  • @randomstuff1393
    @randomstuff1393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Hello just wanted to say that i love your chanell :)

  • @chrissoto7187
    @chrissoto7187 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

  • @DonPatrono
    @DonPatrono ปีที่แล้ว +1

    everybody space gangsta until the humans scream "REMEMBER STALINGRAD AND THE ALAMO"

  • @scotteggert9820
    @scotteggert9820 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Me against my brother.
    Me and my brother, against our cousin.
    The three of us against everyone else!
    Don't pick a fight with Humanity. We are never that fractured.

  • @kennethrock5059
    @kennethrock5059 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really want a story about how humanity made a dyson sphere specifically for combat. You have attacked a human colony and now you will feel the power of the sun

  • @jonwooldridge3766
    @jonwooldridge3766 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    First time here, and that was awesome! Thank you.

  • @asurasyn
    @asurasyn 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "They're savages! With bows and arrows!"
    "Who's sole occupation, for the last thousand years, has been war! "

  • @eddoh2701
    @eddoh2701 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Care for a dance? Little Xeno

  • @nk_3332
    @nk_3332 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Somebody needs to give the aliens the lyrics to Charlie Daniels:
    We may have done a little bit of fighting amongst ourselves, but you outside people best leave us alone.
    'Cause we'll all stick together, and you can take that to the bank. that's the cowboys and the hippies, and the rebels and the yanks.

  • @boombang0418
    @boombang0418 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Xenos attacking Earth is just like pulling out a gun to rob a gas station in a southern state. Everyone in their has a gun to point right back at you. Maybe a knife if not a gun.

  • @Jamhael1
    @Jamhael1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Me against my brother. My brother and I against our uncle. Us three against the world."

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for the reading

  • @talonsclaw9058
    @talonsclaw9058 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Laughs in Krieg
    Prepares chainsaw shovel
    Prepares massive siege artillery

    • @Noah-vc6zh
      @Noah-vc6zh ปีที่แล้ว +1

      FIX BAYONETS!!

  • @redraptorx1066
    @redraptorx1066 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Xenos: *kill civilians*
    human fleet admiral: do ya fear death?

  • @CHRF-55457
    @CHRF-55457 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh boy that Xenos Empire was fucking lucky as hell the Galactic Federation existed. Or else, _they'd been genocided to dust._

  • @StandardsandPractices
    @StandardsandPractices 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    15:17 the arithmetic of war is simple yet terrible to calculate

  • @Lord_Inquisitor7
    @Lord_Inquisitor7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Will the small galaxy series come back or have you stopped doing it?

  • @randomguy3080
    @randomguy3080 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It is in our blood to fight as hard as we love, we love our fellow man, and hate them, the reason we fight one another is because we have nothing else to release this hate on, so don’t make that mistake and paint a target on your back, cause humanity will attack you from the front

  • @daemon2426
    @daemon2426 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is clearly on a different scale, but it's rather like busting a younger sibling's chops Only you get to do that.

  • @voidkat4202
    @voidkat4202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dont mess with The Dominion, we learned that from Star Trek.

  • @gp-1542
    @gp-1542 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I point to the world war 2 as a example
    The US, and The British Empire Hated the Soviet Union for Ideological differences but as soon the Germans, Italians and Japan became a problem to all of them they begrudgingly put their differences aside and fought together
    As soon the axis were done and gone
    Rivelly sparked up

  • @PandaWolf525
    @PandaWolf525 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The only way to unite the tribes is to find a common enemy.

  • @Crusader2132
    @Crusader2132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Ah, Defense in Depth.

    • @the13inquisitor59
      @the13inquisitor59 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Also known as a 'hippity hoppity, get off my property'. -Tex Talks BattleTech

  • @Blackout5871
    @Blackout5871 ปีที่แล้ว

    Humans: I'm mad at myself and am going to punch myself in the face repeatedly.
    Aliens: I'll help!
    Humans: YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!!

  • @decimation9780
    @decimation9780 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The Matriarch should consider herself lucky that humanity didn’t get their way, otherwise the Anthorox wouldn’t exist anymore, they’d be extinct.

  • @PMW3
    @PMW3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yeah, never plan for a short war

  • @ericlondon2663
    @ericlondon2663 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Xenomeat Sausage will become popular..... someday.

  • @callme7170
    @callme7170 ปีที่แล้ว

    Gotta love the no step back mentality

  • @pikachufantastic
    @pikachufantastic ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Humanity: YOU MADE ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD! ONLY I MAKE ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD! PREPARE FOR XENOCIDE!

  • @trippydrjusu
    @trippydrjusu 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Brought me to tears

  • @roguecarrick816
    @roguecarrick816 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    humanity; POV you have chosen to play imperial japan,
    alien; imperial japan? oh gods, WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE!?
    humanity; so we have a book of rules defining things we aren't supposed to do, it's called the geneva convention. but there are certain activities that if you engage in them; turns said book into a to do list. and depending on the severity of your fuck up, the grunts may elect to start coming up with new shit that will get brought up the next time we decide to edit said book.
    aliens; why do you have a book on this subject!?

  • @cpt.honklerof3rdkekistania400
    @cpt.honklerof3rdkekistania400 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Aliens: invade human space
    Humans who snuck onto planes on alien homeworld:
    *clears throat* ALLAH HU AKBAR

    • @captiancholera8459
      @captiancholera8459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As much as I dislike the Taliban, the idea of space Taliban vs aliens amuses me

    • @kriegertechpriest7011
      @kriegertechpriest7011 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@captiancholera8459 Yes.

  • @snidecommenter7117
    @snidecommenter7117 ปีที่แล้ว

    In the days of Alexander the Great, India was a fractured land with many warring kingdoms. When Alexander attacked, they stopped fighting each other, unified, and turned on the Greek forces.

  • @sputnikscopershoot99
    @sputnikscopershoot99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Drinking challenge take a shot for every time narrator says campaign

  • @Noah-vc6zh
    @Noah-vc6zh ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I wonder how bad xeno POW's were treated during the war...

  • @NumPad
    @NumPad 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The writing for this story had _SO_ many redundant statements in it, my god.
    Example at 4:32
    "It was noted that among the Dominion Fleet there was a Republic Cruiser among the Dominion Fleet which raised the question, 'Why was a Republic Cruiser among the Dominion Fleet?'"
    Some Mojo Jojo levels are repetition there.

  • @Del-Moss
    @Del-Moss 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Your Biggest mistake was ever touching those civilians!

  • @wardraven8755
    @wardraven8755 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So human start a war with each other for fun then xenos decide to get in on it and attack all and end up losing just to find out that humans were holding back and fighting at 10%

  • @maxxammax0
    @maxxammax0 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yeah dont mess with civillians, we might just go full 40k on you.

  • @someasiandude4797
    @someasiandude4797 ปีที่แล้ว

    Humans : *are divided*
    Vermin : what a great time fo-
    Humans : *are united against you*

  • @Neobahamutfr36
    @Neobahamutfr36 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One thing to add on the list of the worst ideas in all the History of bad ideas...

  • @chimpthrownoutofaplane3521
    @chimpthrownoutofaplane3521 ปีที่แล้ว

    17:42 sounds like a quote from Halo: Legends

  • @Karlisiyo1188
    @Karlisiyo1188 ปีที่แล้ว

    As I am listening to this now for the first time, in the beginning it sounds like something that is happening here now. not quite, but close.