If people need success in order to feel confident, and if confidence makes success much more likely, then how does anyone get confident to begin with? We all have to start somewhere, and the world doesn't wait until we're ready. In this episode, I share a mental hack to facilitate confident action before you have "a stack of proof." @AlexHormozi Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #confidence #success
It reminds me of a joke about how to host a party without spending a dime on food: just call everyone we're hosting a party but all we're missing is just one food item
You don’t need the confidence to do the thing, you just need courage to do it and look like a fool - because you will. The paradox is that; when you do something out of your comfort zone and fail: you will still feel confident for putting yourself through it. The more you put yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more confident you will become
I am mindblown of the idea that it is possible to create value by essentially borrowing other people's expectations. This makes me rethink that value must not objectively exist, but can transcend space and time within the realm of psychology.
Confidence is being ok with yourself no matter the result. It is not knowing that you will succeed, it is knowing that even if you don’t, no matter the outcome, life will continue and everything will be fine.
Not many people get this. Being ok or even good with yourself because of how you relate to yourself. How comfortable you are with being you. Being at peace and liking yourself
This is the first topic I've heard Orion be wrong about! One failure and his definition fails. This definition can be true regardless of success / failure rate.
As Colonel George Clooney said to a young private asking how the Colonel became so confident (in Three Kings): "First you do the thing that scares you. The confidence comes later."
I know you're joking but honestly yes. I know a guy that beat cancer while others around him failed. This was his mentality because there were days it was genuinely a challenge for him to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom when he was in the hospital battling cancer. Sure, he wasn't thinking of running a marathon at the time but now that he's healthy, I'm sure he can run a marathon if that's what he really wanted to do.
As my Father often told me as a youth, "experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." You learn as much from failure as you do from success.. sometimes more.
I found that instead of thinking in terms of confidence, it’s more effective to think in terms of duty. It doesn’t matter what you think you can or can’t do, focus on doing what you’re “supposed” to do, and doing the “right” thing. If you lack the skills to do something properly, then what you’re supposed to do is learn how to do it properly. Confidence is not something you should even be thinking about. True confidence is not worrying about confidence.
I feel that there is a similarity between courage and confidence. And I couldn't agree more with this quote from Mandela: "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear". In the end, whatever you feel doesn't matter, what counts is the action. As long as you act, people around you are going to perceive you as confident.
Please do more of these and fewer dating related ones. As a long time viewer, this is the kind of originality that I'd subscribed for, not the boring old dating things that everyone on the Internet claims to be an expert in
Confidence is not a prerequisite, but a byproduct of the things you do. Don't wait for confidence to pull things off, just do it for the sake of doing it. It is nothing more than a mere byproduct.
I desperately need this right now. My job and career aren't going well. I'm in love with a woman who wants nothing to do with me. I feel like I don't have many friends, I'm struggling to make more, and my future prospects in that regard are probably just going downhill. The solution to many of my problems are to take it in stride and be charismatic, in a good mood, convey confidence... but holy fuck am I struggling when I'm faced with failure and rejection in every direction. I just want to break down.
Just trust your self, let go of anyone who doesn't want you... Want it be a friend, love of your life, family, anyone Just care about those who care about you. Career doesn't matter that much It's important to make a living and be happy. Don't get it hard on yourself Lower the bar Practice, then raise the bar Accept your failure, but it is not going to remain as it is.
Reinvent yourself. I have adopted a seriously brilliant trick to get me into a mode of stoic strength (mostly mental). It sounds ridiculous but it works: see yourself - your character, behaviour, responses, habits etc, as the embodiment of James Bond - seriously! Literally pretend you are your own ideal version of Bond, and in any given situation, whatever the feeling, ask yourself - how would Bond respond or would he be the little bitch that I'm being in this moment?... Good luck.
I don't know you or this woman you are smitten with but I can pretty much guarantee years down the line from now you'll look back and think "why did I put her on such a pedestal, she really wasn't that special".
There is a saying my grandfather once told me. It’s in Spanish but it goes like this…”God doesn’t close a door without opening a new one”. Honestly I’ve been through my fair share of difficulties in life and I can tell you that the worst things that happened to me were always the best things in the end. I’m in a much better place because those things I thought were bad at the time happened. My financial and relationship situations are much improved because of difficulties.
My take on confidence is this. By doing the right thing in life, according to your moral guidance builds confidence. Little by little these acts, as you review your life, prove to you the correct choice was made. This provides peace, and confidence is a natural byproduct
your moral guidance and beliefs builtin into you in rising are as motivating as degrading, it works only if your set of rules actually pushes you to do the things beyond your limits, thinking god will help or you must do something being your imperative no matter what then yes it will do, but if they say you cant do something important you should it will create a double wall, also most of people have different rules than you and you will be forced by life to do things according to others outlook and what then?
Success is merely confirmation of confidence. Real Confidence is a fundamental and unwavering FAITH IN YOURSELF to overcome any adversity, to rise to any challenge, to always make a come-back when you fail, and to be forever TRIUMPHANT IN THE END !
George Clooney's character from Three Kings movie puts it best: "You get the courage of what you're afraid of doing after you do it, not before. It might not be Disney, but that's how it works."
Here's the verbatim quote by Archie Gates: "The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it." I know, I know, but I hate it when people use quotations when they are not quoting something correctly. Especially when Google exists.
it starts with belief. its not just that you are delusional, its more that you simply believe it to be so. the story that we tell ourselves is everything
Please elaborate! Coz I'm curious to know how you manage to endure and survive those long time painful and hurable experience... Because I'm in a similar situation currently...Mine is three years of chronic illness.
You are essentially describing how manifestation works. It's not mystical. But on a deeper level, everything is. But beleifs changes your life when it's a true belief because you'll make different decisions, and life path
I like your definition of confidence. What I discovered is that confidence is generated by competence, which is built one step at a time. Good news for those just starting out is that most other people are so in their head that they won’t notice if you fumble an interaction. The more you do, the more competent you become, and confidence emerges as a natural byproduct.
i did this for 2 big projects which i had never done before. 1. change a transmission on my 4x4 truck, ended up pretty simple job entirely by myself 2. swapped in a newer 2000s era LS engine into 1980s era classic gbody car - this turned out to massively more involved than tranny job but still got it running and driving almost perfectly again entirely by myself
After years I found that changing my diet to a ketogenic one and practicing semen retention gave me an automatic confidence that nothing else did. The idea is if you can control your diet and your sexuality that gives you a strength most people don’t have
Have been on a keto diet for almost two months now. Quite strict (while up to 50gram carbs would be alloud, I cut that down to 10-20 per day at max (only eating carbs in case they are inherent in some vegetables, for example carrots). I would have changed my habits earlier, had I known, what too much carbs and salt etc. are doin to the body. I am on my way finally gettin really lean. The problem of having a bloated face isn't a problem anymore - there is no salt that causes water retention. Unbelievable also how greatly a keto diet affects the brain performance as a positive side effect. Cuttin out unnecessary calories and unhealty products will bring the body into a state of feeling free of some avoidable ballast (+their cravings!! What a great salvation!!). Overall...It seems the brain is able to work faster (might be my subjective perception only, BUT: I am a native german speaker, always have had a quite fluent and fast english comprehension; after changing my diet, thoughts are coming even faster (perceived increased brain performance) and that affects my speaking abilities. I also read that (higher) body fat percentage affects not only the subjective body feeling, but physical processes. So the feeling of being "reborn" everyday I am having now is probably a more the result of "cause and effect", but I guess the keto diet, while being the cause for tze long term effects to shine (only), will have a certain impact on it's own. Meaning: Being lean eating sh*t will lower brain performance, being overweight but on a keto diet might improve brain perfomance, despite the negative effects of overweight.q That would mean, of course, that overweight people not only risk to be sluggish physically, but also mentally (to a certain degree, depending on the individual, without being able to change that willingly - brutal!). The fact that I am writing this, mentally being the opposite of blue pilled + not being overly enthusiastic about humans, the actions they take and their behaviour (though human psychology is personally one of my biggest fields of interest, as it helps to understand life) is proof enough that a Keto diet puts you in a stable and good, sometimes great, mood - even for days.
Define success. Exactly. I'm 40 years old and live in the center of beautiful Heidelberg Germany. I inhabit a flat with 2 students, to save money. I can walk to work (ICU nurse), but I have an old used bike for less then 200 bucks. I don't need to travel. Heidelberg is paradise. No car, no kids. I only work part time so I have enough money for my hobbies: Bouldering, Running, Gaming on Sony PlayStation and Nintendo Switch (if our house burns down, I can't lose those games, I own them in the cloud). Life is beautiful nowadays, why would I waste it at work. I only buy cloths when I really need them, mostly cheap. You can eat healthy for 5 bucks a day (coffee included). It's easy: stick to things that have only 1 ingredient, but no isolates like sugars and oils (you can throw them together obviously for a meal) I consider whole grain pasta to be healthy, but you should have them split up in to maximum 2 meals a day. Other than that I eat oats, nuts and vegetables. Only drink water, coffee, and tea without additives. If you're vegan have your vit.B12 and a good source of omega-3 fatty acids (chia seeds, walnuts), maybe vit.D if you're a nightshift worker or not out in the sun much, and you're good. Once in a while if you have an easier day try to eat nothing for that day. I'm 40 years old, athletic, everyone thinks I'm much younger. Take good care of your bodies folks 💟🌌☮️
Absolutely. Having come out of similar phase of low self-esteem and confidence, I'd say you keep tab on Negative Thoughts or Feelings of being Depressed and Uninterested in daily life, and continue practising to monitor your negative self talk and do it again and again. It helped me come out from a very low personal phase in few months ❤
Confidence comes in a readjustment of the notion of sucess: if you have a depression and taking a bath is a difficult thing, break it into microsteps: take your left leg out of the bed; then the next one; stay up with both feet on the ground; take a deep breath; take your underwear; go to the bathroom; take your bath. Microsteps lead to microvictories and, up to that, we extend that to every single battle in our life. Every marathon starts with the first step, so identify the littlest step you know you can do and do it. EXPERIENCE that microvictory because it is, indeed, a victory. Make it so you understand that you can do it when you wish and organize it good enough and you'll be running your marathon by any day!
I'm 41 and can public speak and can talk with people at the bar however I still struggle with confidence in a deep down way. I still feel like a failure financially and in my career. Sometimes I make lists of my accomplishments. Thanks for your advice. Hopefully I can get through this.
stop following standards of others and look for person with more reasonable standards, to go from 0 to 1 you not only need to belive you can do impossible, you also need to be relaxed enough and have time to spare to freely shuffle weird ideas fully ready to embrace one of these taking risk with it, 'put your standard even lower (except health, the more organic you eat the more y;u save on medicaments) and saved more put on "i will risk this as its nothing" stake, without fear of loosing it buying opportunity
In the design world, when doing something new . . . think of a test that removes the doubt Or what are the important criteria for the design to work . . . it is possible the next step is easier than you expected, just do it ! Let the new idea become a positive feature
Here is the definition of one of the best books i've ever read: Confidence is the APPEARANCE OF CERTAINTY. Not Certainty itself. (The book is called 'The Manual' by W. Anton) In fact many people who are labeled as confident are simply not smart enough to understand that they are totally wrong. They appear confident because they act certain despite being actually totally wrong. These men are attractive to women.
Ironically, embracing the Buddhist concept of "Not Self" and relinquishing my ego has given me what others view as a psychotic level of confidence. Relinquishing ego allows one to transform without limit, and transformation allows for the accomplishment of all things. Thus, success on a long enough time horizon is guaranteed.
It kinda isnt. You can be Self-Realised and still have tons of traumatic patterns that make u feel fearful in lets say a dating situation. What the Self Realization does tho is that you are never 'resisting' such things anymore, hence not making them worse whenever they occur :D In a sense you arent 'bothered' by it anymore, but, it will still affect your behavior, appearance etc!
One of the best things young people can do if they want to get confidence and have others put confindence i them is to do projects that are not part of a compulsory curriculum. Build a skate ramp, organise a small concert, start a small business, join a theatre group. Anything that can give you the experience of having an idea then seeing how it turned it in reality - what worked, what you over thought, what you missed etc. These are all transferable skills.
Orion, in case you or anyone has ever wondered what it is like having adhd, your hack is essentially what my adhd brain does everyday on autopilot. The adhd term frequently used for this is magic thinking. Sometimes it's a success, other times not, and generally we don't sweat the failures, as we are used to it, and used to having to bounce back, and pull ourselves up and out of the depths of despair.
Prophetic perfect tense is something I learned in church. It's called faith, very different from hope. I'm not religious anymore but it still has its use.
David DeAngelo talks about the "prophetic perfect tense" with another title, namely, "inevitability thinking". Example: "it is inevitable that I will succeed at X", which then leads to you taking the actions necessary to bring into reality accomplishing X.
"Humanity needs first learn to believe the little lies. Once they become true, you will be ready to be believe the bigger ones. That is how all things come to be. It is how it must be. And it will always be so." - some black and white movie I can't remember the name of
You don't need mental gymnastics or mind tricks, just reason. Reason thus: people have done this thing in the past, I am a person, I too can do this thing ! How did people in the past do it ? Did they succeed the first time ? It's doubtful. Experience itself teaches us the necessity of experience, as does common sense. Probably these people either failed or did not get it right the first time. Even the greatest artists and athletes practice, and failure does not deter them, they just continue to practice, this how people succeed. I too shall keep practicing, I will not let failure deter me, but instead keep trying to improve, eventually I too will succeed !
@@alexandrenedellec7116 Your statement is vague. It might sound reasonable to someone who is naive simply because it's of the general form 'x requires x'. But is in fact a logical fallacy. For example, the statement 'criminal issues require criminal solutions' has this same form, but you don't solve crime by more crime, instead you make the problem WORSE ! So, to make your statement TRULY reasonable, you would actually have to explain exactly how bringing more emotions into emotional issues serves to solve those issues. Otherwise, you are simply asserting a fallacy and hoping nobody notices your deception.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 Indeed. That's *paralogism* instead of a *fallacy* because of my intentions. And bringing more emotion to emotion IS useful. Breaking an emotional Anchor IS done by activating an Anchor linked to the opposite émotion and triggering both AT the same Time. So while assumed that bringing more emotion to émotion would not be helpful it would since both emotions Can be opposite (whereas what you assume in the fact that it would not be helpful as it was supposed that the other émotion you add was also negative)
@@alexandrenedellec7116 Perhaps you can make this clear with a specific example. What you have said so far is still vague -- you are simply talking about countering a 'negative emotion' with a 'positive emotion'. What makes any emotion negative or positive ? Also, assuming you are right, simply for the sake of discussing your vague point further, to the extent this is a real and effective strategy or solution -- and therefore is a methodical or pre-planned way of dealing with an emotional issue --, the solution itself appears to be rational, not purely emotional.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 destroying Anchor? ok Let's Say you are stressed talking in public. Even talking about that make you feel Bad. (Negative Anchor). You set UP a stronger positive Anchor (for exemple the last Time you were the most confident in your life). Talking about the situation that stress you while activating the stronger positive Anchor will negate the Bad one and even replace it if it's strong enough. ( You do it by using submodalities (how you picture the émotions etc) and repetition.)
A way to see it is that your confidence without having done the things communicates your intention. Your intention is enough to drive you forward. You're not confident but it's what you want to do. Wanting it should be enough of a driving force for trying it.
Another good talk by Dr. Taraban. I like the idea of one being his own prophet. I am cautious about this idea, but it is worth considering. Personally, I need success to feel confident. Success usually comes after hard work with humility and faith, but I suppose, faith is a type of confidence.
hard work is the worst thing you can do in life lol its about learning faster working faster so avoiding hard work as fire and doing only the essential hard work with 110% capacity and relax after otherwise you will never learn to work even harder but you will burn up becoming another marathon zombie
In just 2 days this guy made my life x2 in terms of confidence and well being , i watched him before but you need to understand his words on deeper level and hear what you need to hear , not what you want to hear. Orion thank you so much keep doing this great episodes ❤
"fake it until you make it" and "a semi-viable attack, if executed forcefully, is better than a perfect offense, never finished due to being too slow".
Life is often catch 22 unless you're lucky. Luck is a huge part of success. Your genetics can be a blessing or make your life difficult. I think life is as simple as try your best with the hand life dealt you. Basically we are not on an equal playing field and some opportunities that are available for some will not be for others. The problem with assuming you can do things is if you aim too high you'll likely fail, get dejected, pessimistic and low on confidence. Unfortunately this is where I am now.
Proof by itself will never make you feel confident because if you are insecure, you can just explain-away the proof as ' I just got lucky', 'she took pity on me', 'this one likes me for some reason, she's different from most women'... The bottom-line is just need to believe in yourself, that is the essence of real confidence.
My confidence comes from my being courageous, my enthusiasm, joy and inspiration and my being caring and concern 😊. I'm confident not because of the materials we have but my intangible possessions 😊. We can read that Prophetic present tense in Mark 11:24 I like the lightings👍 I failed many times too until I saw a quote Fall 7 times Stand Up 8 . 💪
The profetic presente tense. Dudeeee Braian, I love you man. I love your content because you have the perfect mix between a professional psy and a friend who is sharing with me their life findings. Hugs from Argentina!
If you need proof, you really don't believe in yourself -- you believe in proof. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to succeed, but you shouldn't allow yourself to be defined by either success or failure. Define yourself always as a BELIEVER IN YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT !
Confidence always comes first. Without it, you can’t function. Ignore the possibility of failure and focus on the next step. Be a cowboy. Know you are a badass.
Be careful with the energy and hater vultures as well. If your confident and you don’t have “their” definition of success or your better than them at something… they sense it amd feel it. They will try to get you Demise going in order to feast of your back! Continue on with confidence you will obtain success with it as well as smarts and hard work! Confidence is one of the keys in life especially for males!
Not telling the truth will feel like lying.. If you can handle the pressure of being exposed as a liar, and have a plan what to do when it inevitably happens, you can be very successful
Personally, my confidence comes from my experience. Like when I say I can build that or do that or whatever it is. How do I know this? Because I’ve proven it to myself many many times before. It all started with me at age 16 with the guitar. Everyone told me how hard of an instrument it was to learn. So I studied and practiced a lot, I mean I sat in a room for hours while all my friends were out being teens. It turned out I was good at learning things others thought were difficult. Since then I’ve learned many great things. I never doubt myself. Will I be good at it the first time? Probably not. But I will eventually do what I say. Never have I failed, because I never stopped trying. Now I’m kinda cocky about what I can do. If I don’t think I could manage, I’d be the first to admit it.
I’m currently been reading a book called Psycho-Cybernetics and this video rings true to a recent chapter I finished regarding the concept of mental role-playing, which helps you build confidence by thinking of many possibilities and scenarios to react accordingly to. Good examples to best utilize this concept would be for interviews or as a salesman.
Don’t be afraid to fail people. I’ve taken on many projects and scrapped/modified prototypes. Often anyone who was paying attention crapped all over the idea. Then when you iron out the bugs and everything works the way you originally thought it should, people come up to you and ask, where did you get this? How much did you pay for this that looks awesome … Happens all the time.
its scary, it sounds like playing lottery and showing off how it works sometimes, the main thing to do always is to avoid the biggest possible cataclysms possible and you seem to risk to get one faster xD
I am starting a business with lots of push back. This is exactly where I'm at. I am at the; already jumped out of the plane and I know the parachute will open stage.... I hope
You need to know where you stand amoungst men because thats what shes looking at! If you dont feel confident in a room full of big men, rich men, smart men, all men, you need to do the work to fix that, whatever your particular strength is, build on it, she will notice!
Lol when I was eight I’d decided I was gonna be a writer. Not that I wanted to be one, but that I will be one. Practiced for years and finished my first two drafts a few years ago
If you call it pride, or even self endorsed pride, it then rhymes with common sense. This is the same thing our ancestors used when he saw, for the very first time, a not-too-large-beast with lots of meat. He tried anyway and ended up feeding his family and learning more about that source of food. Of course there is a risk that the beast happened to be more fierce than assessed. But there is also a chance that the indicision is the greatest danger and the food runs away. An ongoing mantra of “I am strong”or “I can do it” helps somewhat, unless when it gets fatal. Combind with other reasonable qualities, like detecting surprises and adjusting, learning, knowing when to abort, sensing of danger, this really helps.
If people need success in order to feel confident, and if confidence makes success much more likely, then how does anyone get confident to begin with? We all have to start somewhere, and the world doesn't wait until we're ready. In this episode, I share a mental hack to facilitate confident action before you have "a stack of proof." @AlexHormozi
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #confidence #success
This is the best timing for the topic of this video for my life. Thanks for your awesome videos
This is Gold
Doc should call this The Fire Festival Approach 😂
Patchy beard confidence is true confidence. I give too many fs these days to grow out my patchy beard.
I know a guy that is 44 and on the spectrum - he has weak social skills and no confidence. I don’t even know what to recommend him
I'm a 40 year old entrepreneur and engineer. I cannot stress how correct he is here. Fantastic advice for young adults. Listen and take to heart.
It reminds me of a joke about how to host a party without spending a dime on food: just call everyone we're hosting a party but all we're missing is just one food item
Also called a potluck?
😂
When does that work? How much does anyone like that?
"I might as well do it now before someone even stupider beats me to it" 😊
Bro... that's actually such a good idea to have. That's brilliant.
Frl cause when I see that I’m like wtf
That could’ve been me if only I made the first step
I’ve had that motivating thought in my head all of my life!! Very cool that you put this out there!!
Dupe statement
You don’t need the confidence to do the thing, you just need courage to do it and look like a fool - because you will.
The paradox is that; when you do something out of your comfort zone and fail: you will still feel confident for putting yourself through it.
The more you put yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more confident you will become
As someone who currently experiencing this and not knowing the pinpoint to express this out, i would say this is on point. Thanks for this words.
that is very true
The key is afte rthe failure is to put your mind focus on the effort, not the result
it's the 3 C's : courage > competence > confidence
Absolutely true.
I am mindblown of the idea that it is possible to create value by essentially borrowing other people's expectations. This makes me rethink that value must not objectively exist, but can transcend space and time within the realm of psychology.
That's how startup business works, and that's exactly what I don't want to do.
Confidence is being ok with yourself no matter the result. It is not knowing that you will succeed, it is knowing that even if you don’t, no matter the outcome, life will continue and everything will be fine.
Not many people get this. Being ok or even good with yourself because of how you relate to yourself. How comfortable you are with being you. Being at peace and liking yourself
This is the first topic I've heard Orion be wrong about! One failure and his definition fails. This definition can be true regardless of success / failure rate.
As Colonel George Clooney said to a young private asking how the Colonel became so confident (in Three Kings):
"First you do the thing that scares you. The confidence comes later."
I got out of bed today and successfully managed to walk to the bathroom, so I guess I'm on my way to becoming a marathon runner.
I know you're joking but honestly yes. I know a guy that beat cancer while others around him failed. This was his mentality because there were days it was genuinely a challenge for him to get out of bed and make it to the bathroom when he was in the hospital battling cancer.
Sure, he wasn't thinking of running a marathon at the time but now that he's healthy, I'm sure he can run a marathon if that's what he really wanted to do.
Make your bed. That's a HUGE confidence boosting success.
baby steps
It's the first step!!
Literally...
Being grateful to get up and move. Being grateful helps improve my confidence. I'm working on it daily.
This reminds me of a timeless and enigmatic quote that EVERYONE KNOWS! “Fake it till ya make it.”
That was exactly my thought too, but he does add quite a lot by selling it, thereby showing how it can be sold. ;)
Aspirational confidence is not a lie. It's seeing a potential future and believing you can get there.
As my Father often told me as a youth, "experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
You learn as much from failure as you do from success.. sometimes more.
Your father is a wise man!
Most of the time you learn more from failure than you do from success, if you succeeded all the time you wouldn’t learn much
@@faustomora-j5u repeated exposure has a way of correcting that. You can only get so lucky so often.
@@donfabian1542 yes he was, but I didn't always have the good sense to listen to him.
to sum it up:
"Sometimes you win... sometimes you learn".
I found that instead of thinking in terms of confidence, it’s more effective to think in terms of duty. It doesn’t matter what you think you can or can’t do, focus on doing what you’re “supposed” to do, and doing the “right” thing. If you lack the skills to do something properly, then what you’re supposed to do is learn how to do it properly. Confidence is not something you should even be thinking about. True confidence is not worrying about confidence.
I feel that there is a similarity between courage and confidence. And I couldn't agree more with this quote from Mandela: "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear".
In the end, whatever you feel doesn't matter, what counts is the action. As long as you act, people around you are going to perceive you as confident.
Please do more of these and fewer dating related ones. As a long time viewer, this is the kind of originality that I'd subscribed for, not the boring old dating things that everyone on the Internet claims to be an expert in
Starting is the EASIEST part Dr. Taraban...it is PERSEVERANCE that is the litmus test.
Confidence is not a prerequisite, but a byproduct of the things you do. Don't wait for confidence to pull things off, just do it for the sake of doing it. It is nothing more than a mere byproduct.
We must be the seer of our own future and ensure our prophecies become reality.
I desperately need this right now. My job and career aren't going well. I'm in love with a woman who wants nothing to do with me. I feel like I don't have many friends, I'm struggling to make more, and my future prospects in that regard are probably just going downhill.
The solution to many of my problems are to take it in stride and be charismatic, in a good mood, convey confidence... but holy fuck am I struggling when I'm faced with failure and rejection in every direction. I just want to break down.
Just trust your self, let go of anyone who doesn't want you...
Want it be a friend, love of your life, family, anyone
Just care about those who care about you.
Career doesn't matter that much
It's important to make a living and be happy.
Don't get it hard on yourself
Lower the bar
Practice, then raise the bar
Accept your failure, but it is not going to remain as it is.
Reinvent yourself. I have adopted a seriously brilliant trick to get me into a mode of stoic strength (mostly mental). It sounds ridiculous but it works: see yourself - your character, behaviour, responses, habits etc, as the embodiment of James Bond - seriously! Literally pretend you are your own ideal version of Bond, and in any given situation, whatever the feeling, ask yourself - how would Bond respond or would he be the little bitch that I'm being in this moment?...
Good luck.
I don't know you or this woman you are smitten with but I can pretty much guarantee years down the line from now you'll look back and think "why did I put her on such a pedestal, she really wasn't that special".
Sorry for that but be strong am here from Uganda we may be friends
There is a saying my grandfather once told me. It’s in Spanish but it goes like this…”God doesn’t close a door without opening a new one”. Honestly I’ve been through my fair share of difficulties in life and I can tell you that the worst things that happened to me were always the best things in the end. I’m in a much better place because those things I thought were bad at the time happened. My financial and relationship situations are much improved because of difficulties.
My take on confidence is this. By doing the right thing in life, according to your moral guidance builds confidence. Little by little these acts, as you review your life, prove to you the correct choice was made. This provides peace, and confidence is a natural byproduct
your moral guidance and beliefs builtin into you in rising are as motivating as degrading, it works only if your set of rules actually pushes you to do the things beyond your limits, thinking god will help or you must do something being your imperative no matter what then yes it will do, but if they say you cant do something important you should it will create a double wall, also most of people have different rules than you and you will be forced by life to do things according to others outlook and what then?
Success is merely confirmation of confidence. Real Confidence is a fundamental and unwavering FAITH IN YOURSELF to overcome any adversity, to rise to any challenge, to always make a come-back when you fail, and to be forever TRIUMPHANT IN THE END !
You’re amazing man, I’m a 20 yr old male and am so happy to be building myself up with content like yours, thank you Orion
George Clooney's character from Three Kings movie puts it best: "You get the courage of what you're afraid of doing after you do it, not before. It might not be Disney, but that's how it works."
I was thinking of that exact scene as I listened to this.
Here's the verbatim quote by Archie Gates: "The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it."
I know, I know, but I hate it when people use quotations when they are not quoting something correctly. Especially when Google exists.
Do what you fear and the fear will go away. I read that in the book think and grow Rich and I've practiced it and remembered it ever since.
Great quote great movie
@@someguyusa It is what it is, even if paraphrased, the message is clear.
it starts with belief. its not just that you are delusional, its more that you simply believe it to be so. the story that we tell ourselves is everything
First on my own at age 16 I just said fake it till you make it. I will do it, I will live, I will survive. At 72 I can say I did.
Great, I'll love to hear more of your story in detail, if you want to share ❤
That's so true happy that you did it I would also want to hear more of your story and maybe get in touch to know
Wow...I'm happy for you. I'd definitely love to hear more
@@SumitSharma-cg7pt I'd love to hear more too
Competence leads to confidence 😎
This was DEEP. Love your relationship content, but this was relatable to many aspects in life!
I define confidence as having an innate belief in one's ability to accomplish something that results in repeated success.
Thank you. The past 4 years I built myself out of 15 years of chronic illness. Your life is an inspiration to how I want my future to look.
Tell us more on your story..id like to hear it
Please elaborate! Coz I'm curious to know how you manage to endure and survive those long time painful and hurable experience... Because I'm in a similar situation currently...Mine is three years of chronic illness.
Been doing this so my life. 100% effective
You are essentially describing how manifestation works. It's not mystical. But on a deeper level, everything is. But beleifs changes your life when it's a true belief because you'll make different decisions, and life path
Believe in yourself more than others do and watch how others start treating you.
I like your definition of confidence. What I discovered is that confidence is generated by competence, which is built one step at a time. Good news for those just starting out is that most other people are so in their head that they won’t notice if you fumble an interaction. The more you do, the more competent you become, and confidence emerges as a natural byproduct.
i did this for 2 big projects which i had never done before.
1. change a transmission on my 4x4 truck, ended up pretty simple job entirely by myself
2. swapped in a newer 2000s era LS engine into 1980s era classic gbody car
- this turned out to massively more involved than tranny job but still got it running and driving almost perfectly again entirely by myself
After years I found that changing my diet to a ketogenic one and practicing semen retention gave me an automatic confidence that nothing else did. The idea is if you can control your diet and your sexuality that gives you a strength most people don’t have
Have been on a keto diet for almost two months now.
Quite strict (while up to 50gram carbs would be alloud, I cut that down to 10-20 per day at max (only eating carbs in case they are inherent in some vegetables, for example carrots).
I would have changed my habits earlier, had I known, what too much carbs and salt etc. are doin to the body.
I am on my way finally gettin really lean. The problem of having a bloated face isn't a problem anymore - there is no salt that causes water retention.
Unbelievable also how greatly a keto diet affects the brain performance as a positive side effect. Cuttin out unnecessary calories and unhealty products will bring the body into a state of feeling free of some avoidable ballast (+their cravings!! What a great salvation!!).
Overall...It seems the brain is able to work faster (might be my subjective perception only, BUT: I am a native german speaker, always have had a quite fluent and fast english comprehension; after changing my diet, thoughts are coming even faster (perceived increased brain performance) and that affects my speaking abilities. I also read that (higher) body fat percentage affects not only the subjective body feeling, but physical processes. So the feeling of being "reborn" everyday I am having now is probably a more the result of "cause and effect", but I guess the keto diet, while being the cause for tze long term effects to shine (only), will have a certain impact on it's own.
Meaning: Being lean eating sh*t will lower brain performance, being overweight but on a keto diet might improve brain perfomance, despite the negative effects of overweight.q
That would mean, of course, that overweight people not only risk to be sluggish physically, but also mentally (to a certain degree, depending on the individual, without being able to change that willingly - brutal!).
The fact that I am writing this, mentally being the opposite of blue pilled + not being overly enthusiastic about humans, the actions they take and their behaviour (though human psychology is personally one of my biggest fields of interest, as it helps to understand life) is proof enough that a Keto diet puts you in a stable and good, sometimes great, mood - even for days.
Define success.
Exactly. I'm 40 years old and live in the center of beautiful Heidelberg Germany. I inhabit a flat with 2 students, to save money. I can walk to work (ICU nurse), but I have an old used bike for less then 200 bucks. I don't need to travel. Heidelberg is paradise. No car, no kids. I only work part time so I have enough money for my hobbies: Bouldering, Running, Gaming on Sony PlayStation and Nintendo Switch (if our house burns down, I can't lose those games, I own them in the cloud). Life is beautiful nowadays, why would I waste it at work. I only buy cloths when I really need them, mostly cheap.
You can eat healthy for 5 bucks a day (coffee included). It's easy: stick to things that have only 1 ingredient, but no isolates like sugars and oils (you can throw them together obviously for a meal)
I consider whole grain pasta to be healthy, but you should have them split up in to maximum 2 meals a day. Other than that I eat oats, nuts and vegetables. Only drink water, coffee, and tea without additives. If you're vegan have your vit.B12 and a good source of omega-3 fatty acids (chia seeds, walnuts), maybe vit.D if you're a nightshift worker or not out in the sun much, and you're good. Once in a while if you have an easier day try to eat nothing for that day. I'm 40 years old, athletic, everyone thinks I'm much younger. Take good care of your bodies folks 💟🌌☮️
Life is an endless set of catch 22’s. You just have to not care and keep pushing.
Brilliant hypothetical Orion. Love the episode.
I’m going to start a business and this is exactly what I need to hear, thank you!
oh.. you're just too good. Once again and forever. Gracias!
Absolutely. Having come out of similar phase of low self-esteem and confidence, I'd say you keep tab on Negative Thoughts or Feelings of being Depressed and Uninterested in daily life, and continue practising to monitor your negative self talk and do it again and again.
It helped me come out from a very low personal phase in few months ❤
Thanks for sharing your Knowledge👍
Confidence comes in a readjustment of the notion of sucess: if you have a depression and taking a bath is a difficult thing, break it into microsteps: take your left leg out of the bed; then the next one; stay up with both feet on the ground; take a deep breath; take your underwear; go to the bathroom; take your bath. Microsteps lead to microvictories and, up to that, we extend that to every single battle in our life. Every marathon starts with the first step, so identify the littlest step you know you can do and do it. EXPERIENCE that microvictory because it is, indeed, a victory. Make it so you understand that you can do it when you wish and organize it good enough and you'll be running your marathon by any day!
"Heroes are heroes because they are heroic in behavior not because they won or lost."
I'm 41 and can public speak and can talk with people at the bar however I still struggle with confidence in a deep down way. I still feel like a failure financially and in my career. Sometimes I make lists of my accomplishments. Thanks for your advice. Hopefully I can get through this.
stop following standards of others and look for person with more reasonable standards, to go from 0 to 1 you not only need to belive you can do impossible, you also need to be relaxed enough and have time to spare to freely shuffle weird ideas fully ready to embrace one of these taking risk with it, 'put your standard even lower (except health, the more organic you eat the more y;u save on medicaments) and saved more put on "i will risk this as its nothing" stake, without fear of loosing it buying opportunity
In the design world, when doing something new . . . think of a test that removes the doubt
Or what are the important criteria for the design to work . . . it is possible the next step is easier than you expected, just do it !
Let the new idea become a positive feature
Here is the definition of one of the best books i've ever read: Confidence is the APPEARANCE OF CERTAINTY. Not Certainty itself. (The book is called 'The Manual' by W. Anton) In fact many people who are labeled as confident are simply not smart enough to understand that they are totally wrong. They appear confident because they act certain despite being actually totally wrong. These men are attractive to women.
This is the most hacky in terms of psychology which is the name of the channel 😂. Really really good one. Save for watching few times.
"Freedom from the 'Self' is the highest form of confidence
As the world is nothing but the projection of the self"
Love that.
Ironically, embracing the Buddhist concept of "Not Self" and relinquishing my ego has given me what others view as a psychotic level of confidence. Relinquishing ego allows one to transform without limit, and transformation allows for the accomplishment of all things. Thus, success on a long enough time horizon is guaranteed.
Where is the diving board? This is the deep end of the pool?
It kinda isnt. You can be Self-Realised and still have tons of traumatic patterns that make u feel fearful in lets say a dating situation. What the Self Realization does tho is that you are never 'resisting' such things anymore, hence not making them worse whenever they occur :D In a sense you arent 'bothered' by it anymore, but, it will still affect your behavior, appearance etc!
@@JorisWeimaya it's true
One of the best things young people can do if they want to get confidence and have others put confindence i them is to do projects that are not part of a compulsory curriculum. Build a skate ramp, organise a small concert, start a small business, join a theatre group. Anything that can give you the experience of having an idea then seeing how it turned it in reality - what worked, what you over thought, what you missed etc. These are all transferable skills.
Orion, in case you or anyone has ever wondered what it is like having adhd, your hack is essentially what my adhd brain does everyday on autopilot. The adhd term frequently used for this is magic thinking. Sometimes it's a success, other times not, and generally we don't sweat the failures, as we are used to it, and used to having to bounce back, and pull ourselves up and out of the depths of despair.
That is a great definition. I don't think I've heard that one before. I needed that one. 👍
Prophetic perfect tense is something I learned in church. It's called faith, very different from hope. I'm not religious anymore but it still has its use.
David DeAngelo talks about the "prophetic perfect tense" with another title, namely, "inevitability thinking".
Example: "it is inevitable that I will succeed at X", which then leads to you taking the actions necessary to bring into reality accomplishing X.
"Humanity needs first learn to believe the little lies. Once they become true, you will be ready to be believe the bigger ones. That is how all things come to be. It is how it must be. And it will always be so." - some black and white movie I can't remember the name of
You don't need mental gymnastics or mind tricks, just reason. Reason thus: people have done this thing in the past, I am a person, I too can do this thing ! How did people in the past do it ? Did they succeed the first time ? It's doubtful. Experience itself teaches us the necessity of experience, as does common sense. Probably these people either failed or did not get it right the first time. Even the greatest artists and athletes practice, and failure does not deter them, they just continue to practice, this how people succeed. I too shall keep practicing, I will not let failure deter me, but instead keep trying to improve, eventually I too will succeed !
Well emotional issues need emotional solution
@@alexandrenedellec7116 Your statement is vague. It might sound reasonable to someone who is naive simply because it's of the general form 'x requires x'. But is in fact a logical fallacy. For example, the statement 'criminal issues require criminal solutions' has this same form, but you don't solve crime by more crime, instead you make the problem WORSE ! So, to make your statement TRULY reasonable, you would actually have to explain exactly how bringing more emotions into emotional issues serves to solve those issues. Otherwise, you are simply asserting a fallacy and hoping nobody notices your deception.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 Indeed. That's *paralogism* instead of a *fallacy* because of my intentions.
And bringing more emotion to emotion IS useful. Breaking an emotional Anchor IS done by activating an Anchor linked to the opposite émotion and triggering both AT the same Time. So while assumed that bringing more emotion to émotion would not be helpful it would since both emotions Can be opposite (whereas what you assume in the fact that it would not be helpful as it was supposed that the other émotion you add was also negative)
@@alexandrenedellec7116 Perhaps you can make this clear with a specific example. What you have said so far is still vague -- you are simply talking about countering a 'negative emotion' with a 'positive emotion'. What makes any emotion negative or positive ? Also, assuming you are right, simply for the sake of discussing your vague point further, to the extent this is a real and effective strategy or solution -- and therefore is a methodical or pre-planned way of dealing with an emotional issue --, the solution itself appears to be rational, not purely emotional.
@@alwaysgreatusa223 destroying Anchor? ok
Let's Say you are stressed talking in public. Even talking about that make you feel Bad. (Negative Anchor).
You set UP a stronger positive Anchor (for exemple the last Time you were the most confident in your life).
Talking about the situation that stress you while activating the stronger positive Anchor will negate the Bad one and even replace it if it's strong enough. ( You do it by using submodalities (how you picture the émotions etc) and repetition.)
A way to see it is that your confidence without having done the things communicates your intention. Your intention is enough to drive you forward. You're not confident but it's what you want to do. Wanting it should be enough of a driving force for trying it.
I am excited to see this because I need this right now.
Another good talk by Dr. Taraban. I like the idea of one being his own prophet. I am cautious about this idea, but it is worth considering. Personally, I need success to feel confident. Success usually comes after hard work with humility and faith, but I suppose, faith is a type of confidence.
hard work is the worst thing you can do in life lol its about learning faster working faster so avoiding hard work as fire and doing only the essential hard work with 110% capacity and relax after otherwise you will never learn to work even harder but you will burn up becoming another marathon zombie
You don't really need confidence to do it, you just do it.
Prophetic Perfect tense 🤌🏾
I've never tried that before, so I can definitely do it (quote Pippi Longstocking / Astrid Lindgren).
In just 2 days this guy made my life x2 in terms of confidence and well being , i watched him before but you need to understand his words on deeper level and hear what you need to hear , not what you want to hear.
Orion thank you so much keep doing this great episodes ❤
2 days😂
@@tcggggghaha literally yes
Steve JOBS used this tactic.
And it's brilliant .
Thanks for this video.
"fake it until you make it" and "a semi-viable attack, if executed forcefully, is better than a perfect offense, never finished due to being too slow".
From whon is the second quote? I would guess Clausewitz, but actually I have no idea.
Confidence is the present tense of hope - Kierkegaard
If you know you can do such task, there's no reason to doubt yourself.
Throughout history, all great men have believed in their own sense of superiority. That tense thing just gave a word to it. Great video as always.
Life is often catch 22 unless you're lucky. Luck is a huge part of success. Your genetics can be a blessing or make your life difficult. I think life is as simple as try your best with the hand life dealt you. Basically we are not on an equal playing field and some opportunities that are available for some will not be for others. The problem with assuming you can do things is if you aim too high you'll likely fail, get dejected, pessimistic and low on confidence. Unfortunately this is where I am now.
"The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt, while stupid ones are full of confidence." - Bertrand Russell
this idiot belived in a global state solving humanity problems..
I enjoy this quote. I swear this was in "Call of Duty 2" way back in 2005 as well.
That’s because with wisdom comes doubt.
Dunning-Kruger effect
absolutely true
Dude, this is next level mental stuff! I love it!!
Fake it till you make it!!!
Exactly.
Proof by itself will never make you feel confident because if you are insecure, you can just explain-away the proof as ' I just got lucky', 'she took pity on me', 'this one likes me for some reason, she's different from most women'... The bottom-line is just need to believe in yourself, that is the essence of real confidence.
My confidence comes from my being courageous, my enthusiasm, joy and inspiration and my being caring and concern 😊. I'm confident not because of the materials we have but my intangible possessions 😊.
We can read that Prophetic present tense in Mark 11:24
I like the lightings👍
I failed many times too until I saw a quote Fall 7 times Stand Up 8 . 💪
The profetic presente tense. Dudeeee Braian, I love you man. I love your content because you have the perfect mix between a professional psy and a friend who is sharing with me their life findings.
Hugs from Argentina!
If you need proof, you really don't believe in yourself -- you believe in proof.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to succeed, but you shouldn't allow yourself to be defined by either success or failure.
Define yourself always as a BELIEVER IN YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT !
Confidence always comes first. Without it, you can’t function. Ignore the possibility of failure and focus on the next step. Be a cowboy. Know you are a badass.
Your best video I've seen so far. Well done boss!
If you survive one more minute in this messed up world, you are not only a survivor but a success.
Let’s not forget about the law of assumption. Thanks PsychHacks 🤙🏾
You should make sales videos. That was really good stuff!
Be careful with the energy and hater vultures as well. If your confident and you don’t have “their” definition of success or your better than them at something… they sense it amd feel it. They will try to get you Demise going in order to feast of your back! Continue on with confidence you will obtain success with it as well as smarts and hard work! Confidence is one of the keys in life especially for males!
Very helpful content. I would love to learn more about confidence, public speaking, and negotiation skills.
Not telling the truth will feel like lying.. If you can handle the pressure of being exposed as a liar, and have a plan what to do when it inevitably happens, you can be very successful
Personally, my confidence comes from my experience. Like when I say I can build that or do that or whatever it is. How do I know this? Because I’ve proven it to myself many many times before. It all started with me at age 16 with the guitar. Everyone told me how hard of an instrument it was to learn. So I studied and practiced a lot, I mean I sat in a room for hours while all my friends were out being teens. It turned out I was good at learning things others thought were difficult. Since then I’ve learned many great things. I never doubt myself. Will I be good at it the first time? Probably not. But I will eventually do what I say. Never have I failed, because I never stopped trying. Now I’m kinda cocky about what I can do. If I don’t think I could manage, I’d be the first to admit it.
This Dude..?! Sounds like a Prophetic Psychologist. Makes sense in all ways.
I have your book as an ebook, downloaded it on the internet, and I hope I could buy the book itself in my country.
I’m currently been reading a book called Psycho-Cybernetics and this video rings true to a recent chapter I finished regarding the concept of mental role-playing, which helps you build confidence by thinking of many possibilities and scenarios to react accordingly to. Good examples to best utilize this concept would be for interviews or as a salesman.
Don’t be afraid to fail people. I’ve taken on many projects and scrapped/modified prototypes. Often anyone who was paying attention crapped all over the idea.
Then when you iron out the bugs and everything works the way you originally thought it should, people come up to you and ask, where did you get this?
How much did you pay for this
that looks awesome …
Happens all the time.
its scary, it sounds like playing lottery and showing off how it works sometimes, the main thing to do always is to avoid the biggest possible cataclysms possible and you seem to risk to get one faster xD
I am starting a business with lots of push back. This is exactly where I'm at. I am at the; already jumped out of the plane and I know the parachute will open stage.... I hope
You need to know where you stand amoungst men because thats what shes looking at! If you dont feel confident in a room full of big men, rich men, smart men, all men, you need to do the work to fix that, whatever your particular strength is, build on it, she will notice!
Lol when I was eight I’d decided I was gonna be a writer. Not that I wanted to be one, but that I will be one. Practiced for years and finished my first two drafts a few years ago
This message is exceptional
I've given up the aim of being confident in general. Because it never happens to me. I am just trying to do right things.
Thank you for this eye opening information
I think you're unknowingly either saving my life or helping make it 100x better.
Amazing channel.
From the true prophets perspective, they really do see future things as having already happened, because they are transported outside of time.
If you call it pride, or even self endorsed pride, it then rhymes with common sense. This is the same thing our ancestors used when he saw, for the very first time, a not-too-large-beast with lots of meat. He tried anyway and ended up feeding his family and learning more about that source of food. Of course there is a risk that the beast happened to be more fierce than assessed. But there is also a chance that the indicision is the greatest danger and the food runs away. An ongoing mantra of “I am strong”or “I can do it” helps somewhat, unless when it gets fatal. Combind with other reasonable qualities, like detecting surprises and adjusting, learning, knowing when to abort, sensing of danger, this really helps.
this is my fav content lately