Narcissistic relationships & PTSD
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"
smarturl.it/no...
JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM
doctor-ramani....
JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK
www.drramanine...
GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS
forms.gle/1RRU...
SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST
forms.gle/Bv9G...
LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple...
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Stitcher: www.stitcher.c...
iHeart Radio: www.iheart.com...
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Thank you so much for your loving and kind messages!
Thank you so much Dr.Ramani for being so personable and genuine with us! You inspire me everyday. Stay strong! ❤️
Dr. Ramani, your vulnerability and generosity of spirit is saving lives ❤️. You are saving my life with your videos. Please take care of yourself 🙏
(This is my first comment ever in TH-cam. I felt I needed to reach out to you. You are loved ❤️)
Dr Ramani you 're a beautiful beautiful person!!!!
I wish you can feel our thoughts and take power ..
💚🤗💚
Doctor Ramani, you're an excelent psychologist and a great person. We need more people that like you work to help people live better lives and make things happen You have changed my life! I'm a happier and better person now! I'll be all thankful all my life!
There is something so gut-wrenching about a person in the middle of their own pain choosing to use their precious energy to help someone else. I hope there is some solace in knowing that the people helped by these videoes and this community are all Team Ramani and got her back. Big hug!
Well said Gulldun
I'm in the middle of PTSD and my narc spouse bullshit, while being the primary caregiver to my 74 Y/O sister who is undergoing chemo and battling breast cancer.
@@shelleykapp9637 In the same boat as you except caring for my 74 year old dad. Sending hugs and strength sister!
@@KristiAuburn thanks you. Sending prayers your way
Team Ramani!!!!!
“My apologies this was not as graceful as it could be” - you have no idea what grace and humility you’ve shown with your vulnerability in this video. As always, thank you for the content and thank you for being you.
A - freaking - men!
@@orielwiggins2225 Jezebel can be woman or man, just want to put that out their, you all are not alone. We are in this together.
Yes, this was pure Grace if ever I've seen it.
I did not understand your comment first time I read it, upon rereading, I recognize I must watch first, it would make more sense. And like most narcs second guessed myself. Would I be able to see it when I watched. I was afraid, I was so wrapped up in my issues, and myself, was I numb to other's pain, so blind I wouldn't see? This man has ripped me to shreds, it hit me so hard and so fast. It was a comment he made, pulled WAY from the clouds above. I knew from this one comment, I would never be safe in this marriage. Shell shocked, still in the shell!
Don't think your crying along. I send you heart felt 💘. Hopefully you emotions will show your audience that professional have & work through their trauma also.
Narcissistic abuse can cause seizures, emotional flashbacks, adrenal fatigue and so many more health problems.
It killed my sister 😔 Age 30 . I’m doing EMDR
esp hard too as well if your autistic late DX in life ... Yet ..despite many even professional who hata on what my grandparents called heart of innocence's SO MUCH Love Respect toyou Dr Ramini for we never alone thank you making my doves cry in my coffee is just FINE
+1 for the flashbacks... I was traumatised by them for months to the point I got diabetes.
Early onset Alzheimer’s and death. I have seen it myself.
Spot on 👍
"Trauma is never an excuse for abusing another person." - I needed to hear this right now. Thank you so much
YES. Hurt people, hurt people, but it doesn't make it okay.
@@deepseareppy exactly! 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Why don’t ppl GET this?
I needed to hear it too. ❤️
Facts I’ve been abused by a ptsd survivor manipulated and projected on his mom was narcissist and he took the anger out on my passive aggressively! With silent treatment avoidance! I had to leave ❗️
same. she was using her cptd as an excuse @@ChosenRellll1111
For those who see this: may you find inner peace, heal from past traumas, and embrace change ❤️🙏
wishing the same for you too! 💚
❤🙏
Thank you for your kindness, for sharing these lightful and heartfelt words. This really moved me. I wish the same for you and for everyone else who's struggling.
Much love to you all ❤
♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for your authenticity. ♥️
Thank you for sharing and modeling. ♥️
The energetic world is strong for empaths right now and you are an example of an empowered empath with great depth and courage. ♥️
Many prayers for you 🙏
Your transparency is courageous and is the reason so many are drawn to you. Thank you for allowing yourself to feel. It gives the rest of us permission too. Praying for you Ramani. You are precious and make a difference in the world. ♥️♥️♥️
Amen!
Yes! I hadn't read your comment before posting mine ...very similar sentiments!🙏
Amen!! 🙏🏻💞🙏🏻
We support you 100% Dr Ramani & totally understand.
I was thinking of what I wanted to say, I saw this and thought, I couldn’t say it any better. Thank you Dr.Ramani so much for validating what is happening to us and your insight and compassion.
When you started crying, I started crying too. Your vulnerability made me feel so validated, because it's happening to me right now too. I'm in the middle of a Psychology Degree, and learning about PTSD sent me down into a bit of a tailspin too.
Shit. I did too.
I think we all did
I cried too. It was very hard to see you upset but validating also. Thanks for posting and not editing, it was very helpful after suffering a number of narcissistic relationships..
I did not realy feel/felt my own pain but seeing you, my empathy for you at this moment of honesty and vulnerability...it took me by surpise. Wanting to comfort you while I was not taking my own pain seriously. Like I needed permission to cry? Words are helpfull, but this video was special. Showing emotion was ridiculed by my father and my mother had a history of living her early years in a concentration camp. I had never seen an adult expressing true painful emotions (that also was an overwhelming thought). It opened my mind and hart. Validating...I did not expected it to be this physical. Empathy circeled back to myself? Mirror neurons? It was a teachingmoment like no other. Thank you for your courage. Hope you feel the love from all the people who saw your video from all over the world.
Oof; hope you're doing better.
It’s so interesting that the narcissist is validation-seeking, yet one of their specialties is to dismiss and invalidate their victim.
So profound....a lot of things they do are so perplexing I try not to think about it for too long
BINGO!! You hit the nail on the head.
They are very insecure, they don't have empathy and feel entitled to hurt others for any said offense ( narc injury) if you dare uphold a boundary. Therefore, they view life/ others through their grandiose entitlement and lack of accountability,
Example: I'll hurt you before you get to close to knowing what I am which is a fasade for which I hide my own hurt/shame and project on to you in a harmful toxic, invalidating, minimizing, withholding kinda way.
They are their own karma. Can you imagine living your life having to cover up lie after lie feeling like the world is out to get you, being angry all the time, never trusting anyone, nothing or anything is ever enough, job hopping, trouble with the law, addiction...endless b.s
I'm not in any way making excuses for them as they are evil, but again it's their karma. I'm glad I'm finally out as it was emotional and physically exhausting. He used to tell/ rage at me, " you just don't listen." Well, now I'm better listening, to my intuition, red flags, when words don't follow actions and working on better loving myself and not seek validation through the eyes of others so much. Living our own lives well without them is revenge enough as they hate losing any supply of (servant services), but never us as they just repeat the cycle of abuse over and over with a quick back up supply or flying monkeys to triangulate.
That is a natural condition because they themselves do not feel validated, so why would they want anyone else to feel what they can't? That's the simple definition of their behavior.
@@GGHonestyprecisel, in a nutshell!
PTSD is the worst mental illness you can experience… it’s extremely hard… I’m so sorry if anyone who’s reading this had to experience it. I feel your pain. You’re not alone
🌻💖
PTSD here. No one would ever suspect that I suffer from this or that I would have tolerated such a person. I'm always seen as a "rock", made of steel, so the little I tried to convey to people was simply dismissed as nothing. Most people aren't aware of Narc abuse and it's impact. They need to change the name of the disorder to "demonic psychopath abuse" and label it for what it is.
I have PTSD so bad since my son was killed in a fight with his friend 2 years ago. All of the memories from the past whan I was married to his dad. Going to court reminds me of the divorce from 30 years ago. I have difficulty separating the past from the present. I've also been diagnosed with complex grief.
Save TRUMP Sorry for your loss.
There is no need to apologize. That was so powerful. I don’t think I could continue after being triggered. I probably would have climbed into my own head for quite some time before being able to continue. Thank you for showing us your strength and sharing this knowledge.
Well said! I hadn't read other comments before posting and am pleased to read similar sentiments.🙏
She's fking amazing. Her brutal honesty, self reflection and continued desire to help others regardless is truly- she deserves a medal.
This was a graceful talk. I repeat: "Trauma is never an excuse to abuse another human being."
This is going to sound so weird. Even writing it seems strange. I have a friend that also watches your videos and I asked her the other day “can you tell that something is going on with Dr. Ramani? You can tell she’s is going through something. It’s in her eyes”. You apologized at the end of this video for your emotions. I’m telling you, seeing the vulnerability and humanity in someone that you look to for answers is so amazing to see. Thank you for being honest and showing that pain in this video. Is so easy, as a teacher or doctor, or anyone for that matter, to put the practician mask on and attempt to conceal their vulnerability. It takes a lot of strength and courage to show that humanity and own that you are experiencing these things. We are all in this together. Whatever this heaviness is weighing on you lately, we see you. We have gotten so much strength and knowledge from your videos and you showing this side of yourself will have so many more of those that feel alone in their PTSD. So, don’t apologize for it. Thank you for it. Sending love your way and hope the negative and pain is short lived and is rootless. 💚
I absolutely agree with everything you said. I’ve noticed the change in your eyes, your lack of usual enthusiasm and gestures and inflection. I appreciate your honesty Dr. Ramani and have even more respect than I did previously.
I came upon your videos over a year ago and for a long while they were the only thing that helped me to feel sane. The past three months I have been experiencing everything you listed in this video, two months ago to the point I had to take some time off work as I was not able to give my patients my best. After three weeks off, I was able to pull it together to at least do my job but I still come home most nights and I’m exhausted disconnected, and lack focus. Each day gets a little better and when I am lost I turned to one of your videos or a few other channels that have helped me see that I am not alone and that there is a way out.
I am sorry for whatever trouble you are going through, but I do know that this too shall pass. Dig deep into that knowledge you have, lean on us and others, an d I’m sure you will find your answers and healing as well.
She needs good vibes only! She is a master, a narcissism expert, she’s a queen!!! I’m not even saying this because we have the NJ background in common….I think I speak for far more than myself when I say this woman is so completely on point, relatable, reliable, great I heard delivery with Easy to understand verbiage… Not trying to be somebody she’s not. Also, she is teaching many other doctors through her channel, which really really warms my heart more than anything!! Keep at it girlfriend!
@@Wandering841 same!!!
I respect Dr.Ramani for her wisdom, compassion and her humanity. She is the real deal.
I said the same thing to my husband! I could tell something was going on. She is so brave to share💕
I have Lupus and my doctors told me that my narc husband was the biggest trigger of my flares. Had PTSD symptoms, all kinds of trauma symptoms. My son decided to take me out of the stress for a while and flew me from Alaska to FLorida . My lupus got better-way better. Thanks to you now I’m making steps to get out of the marriage.
I'm really happy for you! Greetings from the Czech Republic
OH, yes❣Thank you! A lightbulb moment for me ❣. I was diagnosed with Lupus at the end of last year.💡🙏
@@melanytodd2929 if you need any help or suggestions or just need to vent drop me a note. I have both systemic and discoid lupus, I’ve lived with it for many years and learned many little things that help.
I left my narcissist last June after 8 years,, my adrenal fatigue went away,, my anxiety left ,, I lost 40 lbs,, I feel so free !!,,, 🕊🕊🕊
@Kelli, YES PLEASE ❣. Any tips gratefully received.🙏
I turn 60 tomorrow and I have lived a life of repeated trauma from infancy. Including a 20 year marriage to a narcissist with borderline personality disorder. I've attempted suicide, I've been handcuffed to a hospital bed and then taken to a psych ward where I was involuntarily committed (it was a crime to try to kill yourself at the time). I've spent decades in therapy and am only now finally finding peace.
Your videos have been INVALUABLE to me in my healing, especially because of your vulnerability. You really KNOW what we are going through. We can see, hear and feel it. That makes more difference than you will ever know. Watching you speak, I wanted to give you a hug.
You are a very special and very valuable person to all of us watching. THANK YOU for giving so freely and selflessly to help us. 💚
You give me hope. I am 52 on my second cancer. I was sexually abused by several men growing up and a mom and stepdad that made sure I knew I was garbage by literally saying those words to me repeatedly. I hate myself. I so desperately want to be loved and forgiven for the wrongs I have done in my life. I have diagnosed PTSD and anxiety. I come out of a mentally and physically abusive marriage and now I am ocd thinking I am a narcissist because I am depressed, withdrawn and have no self esteem. I truly feel like garbage and sometimes I am irritable and hateful. I just want the thoughts to stop.
My husband always says that you can see it on someone's face when they are going through a rough time that is connected with trauma and abuse. During the last week or two I have noticed the change in your face and have been concerned about what might be happening to you in your life, because it looked like something was bothering you. Your honesty and courage is amazing. It's definitely not easy to share these events and emotions in such a wide forum. I hope that whatever you are going through is temporary and that you are taking the time for self-care just as you always encourage all of us to do. Wishing you nothing but happiness.
Same here. She's looked so worn out and sad. I was worried about her, too.
Yeah, I think you are talking about microexpressions. A really interesting field of psychology tbh, Paul Ekman is kind of a big name in that area
@@梨-i5l actually wasn't talking about microexpressions. But it is an interesting field.
This really shows that we never know what is happening in another persons life. We just push on and smile.
Remember always to be kind to people ❤️
Have to add that this was all in all a very good video for me especially as I have cptsd and have just divorced from a very demanding person (to put it mildly). Many things just clicked again. Your content on the topic of narcissism is the best in my opinion.
Wishing you all the best ❤️
Yep, even someone that can't understand where their trauma/anxiety - whatever we want to call it came from - it can be ingrained in our DNA from many ancestors ago. It can be triggered at any time I suppose. The question is how can we prepare young ones for lessening the suffering and is it possible?
@@nachotoasty yes we can help insulate them with what's called "good enough" parenting from birth. Setting up good attachment systems, personality structures, confidence, self esteem, good boundaries and consequences. This helps create more resilent people.
Speaking from experience carries more weight than all the academic degrees. Thank you for the balance you bring.
Oh Dr. . Ramini! You're making me cry. You have to know how loved you are and you are a healer to thousands of hurt souls.
Gosh, the strength of even being able to make this video and be there for all of us is so brave and selfless. I so wish I knew Dr. Ramani. What a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for helping, thank you for validating us when you were going through such a hard time. Someone here said that you have done more for them than ten years of therapy and I agree. Not to dismiss my therapist, but you articulate our experiences in the most clear and warm ways. Thank you.
In addition, when the society we live in is narcissistic it’self, we get re-traumatized over and over!
I recognized that something was wrong in the last few videos. I saw it in her eyes. I’m so sorry Dr. Ramani. We love you. You have done so much for us, and I’m sure that many people are praying for you as they see your pain.
I was feeling the exact same thing in the last few videos from Dr. Ramani! And it was her eyes. I could just sense a deep pain there, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. (Thank you again, Dr. Ramani, for sharing with us. We really do love you!)
Yes, I was seeing the change in recent videos as well and feeling her stress/emotion.🙏
I noticed it years ago! she always looks like hell when making videos. And she's gained a lot of weight over the years.
she is and has always been a very attractive woman. no matter the weight, no matter if shes wearing make up or not and looking tired as hell. she definetly is a natural beautiful woman from my perspective.
@@bruha321 that’s a really unnecessary comment and I respectfully ask that you delete it.
Dr. Ramani, I cried seeing you crying. You helped me so much that it breaks my heart seeing you crying and knowing you are not okey. Please, take good care of yourself. Hope the love and respect of each member of this community reach you
Second that, much love and deep gratitude...
Dr. Ramani, you don’t know how much this video has saved my life. It’s so hard to fully register how ptsd affects our body and mind. Thank you for humanizing what ptsd can look like. I feel like I can finally stop questioning my sanity or blaming myself for not being able to overcome my traumas after all this time. This is why it’s truly important to seek trauma-focused therapy.
Dr. Ramani's honesty made me cry. I feel less alone. Thank you Dr. Ramani.
Ditto
same
yes I did too...this can be so overwhelming
Yes, she really struck a chord with me tonight. I’m an ongoing survivor of this too. Loved her vulnerability- it really affected me. x
Me too.
That pain is unreal. The numbness, the self isolation and the feeling that you’ll never trust anyone with your heart again. You’re soul crushed. I’m thinking of you Dr 👩⚕️and I hope you find your light soon. Last year your videos saved my life. Remember your worth. Feel your pain and know it’s real, just don’t unpack there. Sending love 💕
As I sat listening to you I thought “how you are doing?”At that moment you shared what you are going through. When you broke down I just felt for you and the tears came. You do so much to help us all that I hoped that you too have the same support for what you’re personally going through. Hope you know we care and thank you for courageously being human!
🙏🏻Ditto!💛🕊🍃
Seeing you cry broke my heart. Sending love to you Dr. Ramani♥️
No apologies needed. You are human. I’m sorry.
Thank you Dr Ramani. You have no idea the sanity watching your videos has brought to my life. All I can say I is thank you.
Yep me too!
Dr. Ramani, I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I’ve spent countless hours watching your videos and you really helped lead me out of the darkness. I’ve been noticing you haven’t been yourself and you seemed depressed. It didn’t feel appropriate to comment on it and I trusted you and your inner circle were addressing it. I applaud your transparency. My friend is studying to be a therapist and was triggered this week. I’ll be sending him this video and I know it’ll help him more than we can know. Your bravery helps so many. Thank you for mustering the courage to continue doing your work while you’re in the thick of it right now. Sending supportive hugs.
I also noticed that she looked like she was feeling depressed. We see you Dr Ramani.
I thought so as well and feel some relief that she has opened up to us. You expressed my feelings and concerns perfectly. Thank you! I hope you have found peace and healilng. I know I have, thanks to Dr. Ramani.
@Media Night Owl. Kind and respectful post. Virtual hugs for Dr. Ramani.
Yes!
What a wonderful message you set forth. I am a 56 year old man that has been going through a horrific abusive relationship with a narcissistic woman. The love bombing and devaluation and the invalidation is so real in my life. The physical abuse that I have received from this woman has scared me for life. Broken teeth ect. Her own mother, sister, brother and her own kids and her ex husband of course have walked away. Her own daughter has been reaching out to me with the abuse that she endured as a child and adolescent. She saw the signs. She is the one that taught me what a Narcissistic Person is like. I didn't listen to her because I was so TRAUMA BONDED. I knew deep down inside that something was wrong, but I ignored it to my core. By watching I have learned so much about this DISORDER and you validate me every day. I watch you and a few great other Drs surrounding NPD for a couple hours a day. When the tears come from your eyes I just knew why you are so driven to teach and validate us all. Thank you for being you. Jim
To see your humanity and honesty is amazing. I have a narc Dad, and have an adult diagnosis of adhd, but I have actually realised it's probably ptsd. Your videos u give as a gift to us for free, help more than you know. Love and peace to you Dr Ramani from the UK.
You have made me face up to my avoidance, which is causing unnecessary suffering in my life. Thank you for that, you gotta deal with this stuff or they win right?
It’s possible that you may have both.
@@anaphylaxis2548 it could be, but I didn't have any symptoms, until after 12, and I was manipulated in to going to live with my Dad at 10, after they divorced when I was 5. My mother says he had no interest in me until they split up,and I totally believe her. As an adult I can evaluate who is the one who tells the truth. I went off the rails as a teen, because I was been mentally abused, not because of adhd, that diagnosis has been a gift to them, letting them off the hook. But now I know, i haven't confronted him about anything, finding a way to move away. Comes down to finances, but I will walk away quietly. Best way i think.
yes, I have seen in comments in other YT vids how people with apparent "attention deficit" were actually misdiagnosed, but after they went no contact, they survived and thrived and their attention was there... I know there is hope for you... you can learn a lot from Dr. Ramini, she is a Godsend!
My husband literally told me the other day, “you have no idea how much money this lady has saved you”. He was talking about all the therapeutic help I have received by watching these videos. ❤️
Absolutely no need for apologies! Before you’re a psychologist you are a human being with feelings and you are allowed to feel sadness as well as cry. It not only brought tears to my eyes but a realness to you as a person and to your videos. Often times I watch them and wonder just how you keep it together with such grace. I’m sad for you and what you are currently experiencing but have total faith in your ability to overcome and be stronger for it. Prayers to you during this difficult time ♥️🙏🏼♥️
Perfectly stated, Laurie! I hope Dr .Ramani knows how many of us feel this way!
You are a wonderful person who has helped us so much,hang on in there ,!we are all sending you love.xxx
I love that you kept going after crying. You're very strong. You're an inspiration. ❤️ Love from India.
Thank you for just being vulnerable and honest it helps us not to feel so ashamed of this abuse
Bless you Dr. Ramani not only for the great work you do but for sharing your vulnerability with us.
When you cried I cried with you.
I hope you come through successfully what you are going through, Thank you for being so open and vulnerable about how it has impacted you personally.
I can't lie, I cried when you cried, I really hope your situation gets better.
me too
Me too
Ohh, me too. Immediately. We feel it. It's beautiful b/c we've all felt isolated and misunderstood, but it's there where we ironically can connect. We're all in this together. ❤
I keep running into these toxic abusers. I go for 1/2 day stuck in my head, crying- out-of-the-ordinary dissociating, irritable, depressed. Then, I realize: crap, i've been slimed by another one of these A-holes. It's debilitating. You can get better- but, the residual long term affects just unexpected. Hang in there...Dr. Ramani- you are here for us and we are all with you here in these comments, here in spirit, thinking of you.
Dr Ramani, I hope someone is holding your hand, as you hold ours, while you pass through that storm. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I could not possibly convey fully my gratitude to you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. Thank you, be well.
Dr Ramani you are a gift of God for all of us. We love you for teaching us how to survive in life with narcissistic people. My life has consisted with that. So to stay strong I taught fitness to nurses unwed mothers and seniors. By helping others it helps us rise up above all the pain and release it.
Never commented on any TH-cam videos, this will be my first but I just have to Thank you for your vulnerability, your education and this human connection I felt watching you.
Indeed, I do not comment either but get enormous value here….Thankyou Dr and wishing you a smooth healing ❤️
Dear beautiful, loving and generous soul, Dr Ramani. Your vulnerability makes you, if it's possible, even more trustable. You have helped me more than 10 years in therapy did. We are so many out here that with your help can go on living!!! A big hug, lots of love and a thousand thank you for being here for us. You are so much loved❤
Thank you for putting into words exactly what I felt watching this video. I honestly don't think I would be around today if it weren't for the beautiful love, understanding, and compassion Dr Ramani has shown to us here. You said it so much better than I could have 💞
Absolutely. Dr Ramani, you are a divine, humble, loving human being. You have helped me and my friends I have shared you with so much you have no idea. You have literally saved my life with your extensive knowledge, your validation and your care. Thank you ❤
Marie-louise, that was beautifully said. She is the teacher that has saved my life. Thank you.
Couldn't agree more with this comment! Beautifully conveyed ❤️
Ditto. Beautifully said
Feeling compassion for your pain and tears helped me feel compassion for myself. Thank you for everything you do for us.
Thank you for humanizing this emotional landscape. It made me feel less isolated by the narcissistic abuse I received from my parents.
Me too ❤️
Me also.. not by my parents, just the same, traumatic!
I don't like to see anyone cry, but especially a familiar face who has shown you love, care, and support--even on the Internet, love is all around us. It's good to know that you know what happened to you didn't break you. And we all see the strong woman before us. You don't lose points for being a vulnerable, loving, woman of color; you get a gold star for your loving respect of trauma survivors. Thank you and I hope this helps you feel a little better. I'm a writer, so I write all the time. You have given me lots of ideas about my trauma and I am healing from it. People like you are my personal saviors. You believe us.
❤
The other day, I was at a drive-thru getting some food for the family, I started crying and could not stop feeling sorry for the person I used to be... it was a hard day of blaming myself for being dumb and getting myself into that abusive relationship. It's been YEARS and he died! WTF is what I'm thinking! When I got to the window I cleaned my tears hoping NOT to be noticed. I got my food, drove away and when I looked at the bag the young lady wrote: " Hope your day gets better". She HAD noticed me having a hard time and with those simple words, she made me look for help. I have found your videos so healing and insightful that I just wanted to share what that young lady shared with me and to tell you " hope your day gets better" thank you for sharing. In case you don't remember you make a REAL difference in the world. I am stronger because of your sharing Thank you!
This is beautiful! ♡
I hope everything in your life gets better
And that you desire who you ARE
You are in there somewhere
Take good care of of your yourself
And you’ll rise up to who you once were
You are there waiting to to be re discovered
By yourself and others
Do NOT let him take you with him to the grave !!!!
get some technique to block this stuff it is tough no doubt about it cannabis helps this condition for a lot of people
I know what you mean I had a narc partner I've discovered ha my fam are narcissistic and both parents have these aspects. When I meet strangers who are warm or validating I tend to over share and cry. My body holds all the trauma. What gets to me is one time a while ago this happened with my mom there, I was crying over relief of something that had been going on for 2 years and was very stressful and she barely warmed up and looked at me with pity. It was a stranger who gave me the warm connected look I needed and the validation I sought and without me even asking. It was simultaneously so wonderful and awful all at the same time. It's woňrful to see other people struggle like this and that the channels are available to support us along with the comments section. It's a sea of hope. I'm 56 and only seen it as I've become very sick so I'm around it all the time. That's good that i can see it's not me but it's not good im reliant on them. I feel for the child I was and wonder how they survived it! The emotional abuse is far more damaging for me that any the physical damage. These Chanel are a gift 😊✋✌
Someday... you will understand the depth to which your emotions affected us. We love you MORE for it! C-PTSD, depression, narcissistic humans, etc. "More of us than I care to think about". Know you HELPED US!!!! So HUMAN of you.
Thank you ❤ thank you for being so human, humble and honest. Working through life’s challenges can be soul destroying and keeping going in a ‘normal’ way takes so much out of us. We will get beyond this, I am so grateful for your support, you are doing so much good for others. I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
This video is so powerful. A lot of us has dealt with or are dealing with PTSD. I’m so grateful for your work. Thanks to you, I felt less lonely dealing with this awful illness
I have cptsd and I have extreme fear,panick attack,instrusive violent images that are not true like someone is going to kill me etc. My brain and body experience the same instrusive awful thoughts again and again and I feel numb. I feel extreme fear like I am dead inside and I feel extreme vomiting and thinking the world is dangerous and everybody is trying to kill me etc. This type of paranoia is part of my ptsd and cptsd. Also main trauma is from my narcissistic abuse of my malignant narc mother and her abuses. Her gaslighting make me anxious and ptsd and also her rage,threats,intimidation etc in the past comes in flashbacks in my brain and then my ptsd is activated suddenly and I feel vomiting,fear,numb,dead etc. But this extremely dangerous disease is the worst kind of disease which is just paralyzing
Thank you, I am so sorry for your pain, I am in this pain right now as well. Started shaking and crying when I couldn’t immediately find my insurance card in a doctor’s office 2 days ago. Shaking and crying. The staff was so kind. I have seen a lot of humanity in the world when I have had these episodes in public. Thank you for all you give. I was always told I was so incompetent.
I almost started crying. There’s a saying, “ignorance is bliss”. As a child I felt so much pain & felt so confused, but didn’t understand or sit with anything. Now I’m in my mid 20s, I realize my family members are Narcissists. EVERYTHING you say about the body response is so accurate. I feel sick to my stomach & even feel like vomiting at times. PTSD & Narcissism is such a dangerous combo.
I have much trouble trying to get to sleep due to ruminating about abuse experienced as if it’s happening over and over. I try to figure out the why and they are intrusive thoughts that are keeping me from resting. That’s the worst time is trying time get to sleep.
@@jennifercuddy5663 Same here. I’ll be in bed by midnight, and there are times when I don’t fall asleep till 8am. The body remembers everything. And the time I need to rest is when my mind ruminates in the past. It’s is so frustrating trying to live my life and not be able to have an ounce of peace.
@@platinumgreyx8976 Have you tried listening to hypnosis on TH-cam for anxiety? It helped me a lot. There are some that go for 8 hours. You listen to it while you sleep. It stops the ruminating.
@@jennifercuddy5663 no I haven’t. But I’ll give it a shot. Thank you.
@@platinumgreyx8976 I hope it works for you. It seems people have different voices they find more relaxing then others. You have to find the one that works best. Most have affirmations you listen to while you sleep. I put a few drops of some aromatherapy oils on my pillow too and it helps.
Dr. Ramani your expertise has DEEPLY impacted my life but I’m still in it so THANK YOU for being vulnerable and sharing. Your message is so powerful for me and I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
I am starting a PhD soon on trauma responses after narcissistic abuse.
You helped me personnaly and now you are going to help me professionally.
Thank you for being part of my everyday life!
This beautiful. All the best. I'm so happy for you.
Oh wow, that's is a great topic. If you ever need a subject or person to study, I can assist. I suffered from narc abuse by my siblings which is a family dynamic that is rarely discussed. I suffered from PTSD bc of their abuse.
Good luck to you and protect yourself as I know academic leaders in the field are more damaged than anyone you can imagine.
Dr. Ramani. I send you compassion for your struggles and gratitude that you show even a brilliant and aware individual such as yourself can suffer. Your information is so vital to help us all heal. The narcissists in our lives compound the issues we already face by denying and invalidating our real life experiences.
Dr. Ramani I am right there with you going through the toughest time I have ever experienced. Please remember that you are loved and you are enough. We will get through this, together. Thank you so much for sharing the real you. You are a such a strong woman! Our trauma is real. Love yourself as best you can and I will too.
Please don't apologize. Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable in your time of pain. I really appreciate it. You're demonstrating that a strong woman who wants to help people also needs to reach out and get help when needed. There is no shame in seeking help and being brave enough to heal yourself in order to continue your work of assisting others. 😍
Dr. Ramani this is exactly why your videos resonate with so many of us. Getting to see your videos daily is a treat and you’ve given me info I wouldn’t have otherwise had access to. I look forward to it. It makes me feel special. No reason to apologize your human just like the rest of us and so many of us connect with that vulnerability.Thank you for devoting so much time and energy to helping so many people.
Your comment is very important. You are going to the heart of everything. The power of “WE”.
Trauma is never an excuse to abuse. Absolutely. Keep strong Dr. Ramani.
Trauma, PTSD, it's so real and such a challenge to navigate through. I admire your vulnerability and strength. Please love yourself as you go through your trauma and get to your healing.
Dear Dr. Ramani: This video is powerful and graceful just as it is. It is inspiring to see you continue your important work with your usual insight and compassion while experiencing what you describe. Love and Gratitude to you.
Sending hugs and love! I appreciate the courage it took to be that vulnerable in front of all the people you know watch your videos. It definitely gives validation to all those going through the same thing. Never forget your worth and all the wonderful work you do, you are an amazing woman and have helped so many. Take some time for yourself too, you deserve it! Will be praying for you! ❤
Simply beautiful ❤️
Back in 2020 I was almost raped and murdered by two, whom I believe to be off duty police officers. I had acute. Severe trauma. But by listening to your videos daily I became stronger and am now an advocate for Wisconsin Missing persons association. In 2021 I single handedly raised 300$ for this charity. You are an inspiration Dr. Ramani
❤
Bravo Lady🌹💙🌹Thank you for ♥️ing others. I've been target by a local group of druggies . They are friends with each other ....they know I live alone in the country and have CpTS. My car has been stolen , home being broke into Ten times. My mower vandalized , my truck , they text me vulgar messages. Law enforcement won't help me . I've asked four preachers to help me. I live in a sml town where the people call me crazy.
Tara! You're an inspiration turning your pain into purpose. 😍
❤
Thanks for this... I can totally relate.
I'm a survivor of dysfunctional family abuse and going through Complex PTSD. I also agree with what Dr Ramani said at 16:14. My father had anger issues and used to take it out on all the family members. While I turned more empathic towards abuse due to this, my mother and elder sisters started being cruel to me (as I was the youngest) and always justified their cruelty citing past abuse.
SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU. You’re incredible and you’re changing the world.
It was hard to see you hurting, Dr. Ramani and not being able to reach out because your voice has become as familiar to me as family, and your advice has changed my life. If it was not for you I would never have understood what happened to me as a child and for that I am eternally grateful.
Sending lots of love your way and wishing you all the best x keep going
@DoctorRamani Yes, I totally second this, Lucy Jones, said exactly what I can say! Dr. Ramani, you are balm to me in every way! Your knowledge, care, tenderness, love, and so much more, bring healing to the millions of shattered pieces not only in my heart and life, but so many other dear people out there too! I love you and pray for you, and so wish we could sit and talk, hug, cry, and laugh together! Thank-you for all you do, and for pouring yourself out for all of us out here!!!
You demonstrated incredible GRACE in allowing your vulnerability to be an example for the rest of us of how to be authentic in sharing what you’re going through. It is okay to feel these things and show them. As a viewer, it was humbling to witness someone allowing the mask to slip for a moment so we might see behind it to the pain that is often hidden.
OMG you've described my life. I was raised by a narc and married a narc who then in turn took the life of my child. I've never seen a therapist (a decent one anyway) who has been able to help me. I'm older now and still walk around as if I were dead. I actually feel dead I just keep walking around. The pain these people caused in my life is overwhelming. I now suffer with severe depression, PTSD and anxiety. It's affected every aspect of my life. Thank you for your videos.
It hits us all. When you think you’re strong, and these symptoms persist, it’s insanely disheartening. Sending love! 💕
Omg! Dr. Ramani this whole community loves you. You've got the strength to get through! Hugs!
Dr Ramani, I’m right there with you. I’ve had to bolt out of grocery stores because of a spontaneous panic attack and being terrified others would see. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I cannot thank you enough for your transparency. The best experts are unfortunately the greatest experiencers of what they teach. Please know it blesses us all to know that you TRULY get it, even though it’s heartbreaking to know that you’re enduring it too. I am keeping you in my prayers. There are no words to express the breadth and depth of appreciation and gratitude I have for you and the sacrifices that you make for every one of these videos. The backlash is evil and the intensity is obvious from all the disclaimers that are now present. Standing with you against the evil!! Much love and many blessings dear one!! 🙏🏻💞🙏🏻💞
I can relate as well. I ended up balling in my car in the driver's seat after I parked in a spot at the grocery store. Holding onto the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. People came over and asked if I was alright. It's difficult telling or admitting to others that you're in pain, rather than trying to take care of their feelings by dismissing it and trying to reduce potential awkwardness.
I wonder if it’s something about grocery stores that triggers the stress? The obligation of shopping for food, taking care of the needs of others and also having to spend time and money in a highly commercial environment? I find it stressful, triggered or not.
@@ns2818 wow, I'd never think of that.. Thanks for sharing, that makes much sense. But how can they put people through stress just to have more money, it's awful! 😢
@@ns2818 I have major photosensitivity due to my discoid lupus. I literally blister up all over my body including the lining of my eyes! It’s one of the reasons I had to retire. I’m super sensitive to electrical things- I can even feel if a computer has been left on downstairs in the dining room across a 5,000 sq ft house. I cat live near cell phone tours . Grocery stores absolutely nail me and I “melt” 15 minutes in. I can do Target and some Fred Meyers, some Publix; but Walmart is by far the worst. I get sick right away and it’ll put me into bed rest for up to four days.Thank you for your input!
I have had a difficult time in the grocery store. Because my ex always insisted on making every choice .. I just remember ALWAYS being humiliated. One time I phone a food item and said that it was not keto and not on my diet.. I WEIGHED 97 OR 98 LBS. SO I JUST ASKED IF HE WAS CALLING ME FAT AND HE RAGED AND SCREAMING TOLD ME TO GO F.... MYSELF.. . SO HORRIBLE
Wounded healers are the real healers. You can study, study, study. But only when you experience do you really get it. Thank you for being the healer that you are Dr. Ramani. This video was your best yet! I got so much understanding and healing from this!
I know this was shot almost a year ago but I just want you to know, Dr Ramani, that you’ve got nothing to apologise for, that I’m sending you so much love, and seeing you be human really helps me feel safe to show my humanity, too. I hope you have healed greatly since you made this video.
I so agree. I, too am a South Indian raised in a very traumatic, very narcissistic home. The things ingrained in me there have led to numerous other very narcissistic relationships over the years. I see how much you were hurting when you shot the video. I do hope you feel better now. If we co-sufferers can help you in any way please call on us. I have watched so many of your videos and i thank God for you. Survivor guilt : you hit the nail on the head with that for me. I have used every coping mechanism there is. I am able to keep a calm exterior when with my narc parent but boy it tears me up inside. I think of her as a coconut grater. The tone of her voice in a short sentence can stab me. I shut her down but she dismisses me with rage. Fine, hurt me if you must, but it kills me when she incessantly spews hate about people who have been painstakingly taking excellent care of her for years. The more they say they are hurt, the more she hurts them further.
@@sujataaddanki5203 So sad 😢
Me too
I have so much respect for you. As a clinician, it was refreshing to see your vulnerability in letting your audience know they are not alone. You Rock!
Hopefully, people watching this video will make this connection:
The most validating thing you can do for a person who is crying while talking about their experience, is to look them in the eyes, hold their gaze, do not look away, do not interrupt, do not hand them a tissue, and let them finish speaking.
Isn’t that what we all want? To have somebody acknowledge that our pain MATTERS enough to BE heard.
Yes, this is the moment, in all our lives, when we need to matter, to be heard, & to feel understood! To feel the living care from one human to another, we live & appreciate you Dr Ramani, you are a gift to the world. God Bless you & keep you, through this storm. The sun will shine again, the wind will cease & the waters will be still again, stay the course. Praying for you, Biggest love to you! ❤️🙏❤️🥰☀️✨🌙
I mean, you can hand them a tissue. If i were crying I'd appreciate a tissue while trying to prevent snot from rolling down my lips. Just saying... lol
@@Summerlove23
🤣🤣
Isn't that embarrassing? I uglied cried to someone in the community I confided to and I couldn't face her afterwards.
It is wonderful to experience a therapist who can empathize...their eyes say it all.
Awwww Dr Ramani I'm in tears and my heart goes to you. Sending love and prayers and hugs your way. Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story and knowledge every day! You are loved and appreciated!❤❤❤
Dr Ramani: You do so much good for so many people - like a wonderful, wise Aunt. It hurt to see you cry and broke my heart open too. I hope you're getting all the support you need right now. Your online family send you so much love.
THIS! I so hope things are better..... ♡
I was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving my narcissistic ex. However, I think it's more C-PTSD as I have had a lot of the signs you mentioned since childhood, a childhood with trauma and a narcissistic mother.
Now about you, you are so admirable. I love when you share your life and humanness with us. I pray that this situation will be solved very soon and you are well and can find happiness and peace again. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I had a narc Mom too. All my best to you.
@@kelligray1848 thank you very much. I wish you the best too.
truly, mental health super hero
Dr. Ramani, i feel you. I cried seeing you cry because i felt what its like to be traumatized and nobody in my life validates me about that. Your honesty and openness moves me. I appreciate and admire you Dr. Ramani. Thank you wholeheartedly.❤️
The amount of love I am sending to you is abundant. Thank you for having the courage to be so vulnerable and share your pain as you’re healing ❤️🩹
Thank you for simply being you 🥰
I cut my narc friend out of my life a few weeks ago. I've watched a lot of your videos since and they've really helped give me a better understanding of what was happening and what this person was doing to me, as well as the mistakes I made.
May your awareness and healing continue!🙏
Being vulnerable, authentic is so important to be a good therapist, Psiholog.
Since I discovered your videos about Narcissism I completely changed my life. Now I know what is behind of fake relationships, toxic relationships, friends with benefits relationships.
sending love, compassion &Light to you Dr Ramani, and everyone that go or went through a Narcisstic abusive relationships, colleagues, friends, family etc
Poor Dr. Ramani, she spends so much time trying to cheer us up, but we can't be there to cheer her up when she needs it. No matter how strong someone appears on the outside, they still need someone to actively show them support.
We ARE here for her...
For you, Dr. Ramani. You are so loved and so appreciated by this community.
💚💚💚
Absolutley... 💜
Sometimes we need to put the books and technicalities down and just be human, with all emotions attached. Your openness is greatly appreciated. You are amazing; Keep going forward.
These relationships are full of trauma,even after getting out sometimes the pain drowns us deep,leaving lot of scars,trauma and health issues. Thankfully we have Dr.Ramani,her words heal us
Emotional authenticity and the courage it takes to have it... there's nothing more graceful than that. ❤ Thank you!
I have been suffering from CPTSD for many years: anxiety, depression, rage, forgetfulness, insomnia, physical pain, constant illness, and no confidence. It took me 21 years to finally realize the cause: narcissistic abuse by my ex-husband. I didn’t know such a thing existed until I stumbled upon your videos. My heart sank when I realized that so much of your information applied to our relationship. It was a heart breaking epiphany. It felt like the end of a murder mystery when the killer is revealed. When you go back through the story and the foreshadowing suddenly makes sense.
Wow! ... Powerfully expressed & impactful. - “It was like coming to the end of a murder mystery & the killer is revealed. “... you go back thru the story & the Foreshadowing suddenly makes sense”. - This last sentence is truly empowering & can also be rather painful to realize. I've known these experiences well.
Thank you for your words.
@@user-ml2lr5yt4s Thanks for your feedback. :)
What a perfect way to decribe the narcissistic abuse reflection!
*describe☺
@@CPaul-cm7qk Thanks!
Doctor Ramani, you have become part of my daily life. Seeing you cry made my heart ache. I really pray you get better. Seeing you cry made me cry - know that thousands of people love and appreciate your existence
I read “Should I Stay Or Should I go” and “Don’t You Know Who I Am!” and I gotta say I highly recommend reading them in audio form with Dr Ramani reading her own book, it’s like a one on one meeting.
It looks interesting. I've just finished reading these books, but I'd like to try the audiobooks.
Ha! I just ordered them both this week! 👏
I will definitely do that! I have audible, so I will.
Yes!!! Couldn't agree more
@@yukio_saito You will love the fact that Dr Ramani reads her own books…(especially TH-cam commercial free)
I don’t mean to get depressing or negative here…but Dr. Ramani, I can say without a doubt in my mind, if it wasn’t for your videos and the closure and understanding they’ve given me after the most traumatic and heartbreaking experience of my life, I would be dead. I found your videos after my 3rd suicide attempt. Let’s just say I haven’t made a 4th. I genuinely owe my life to you. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. There will never be words in any language to express how grateful I am for you and the dedication you put into helping others.
When both parents were narcissistic it's hard to find normal cause you never had it
❤️ so true.
Thank you so much, Dr. Ramini. I'm crying along with you, because I hate to see a good person in pain, and also with relief. as your teaching helps make sense of so many confusing events and feelings of the past. It's like a veil is being lifted, and I can see more and more clearly. Love, peace, strength, and joy to you and your family.
The lack of positive emotions... not even having the memory of joy. How does it really feel to be loved? Does that safe place really exist? Not knowing means one can only improvise. We only can guess, right? And then all those negative thoughts. The fears. The loneliness. But Dr. Ramani you are so blessed - you are helping so many people. Stay strong and safe. Greetings and love from Greece
A wise woman once looked deep into my eyes and reminded me "Healer, heal thyself. Nuturer nuture thyself". What a blessing that you have the knowledge and understanding from your years of helping others. Now the empathy sensitivity is that much stronger for you. It's like a superpower. Thank you for helping me to see a pattern of behavior in my life. You helped me to break the cycle. ❤️
I wish I could hug you, Dr. Ramani. You've helped me so much and I would give anything to help you.
I just want to thank you for your incredible strength & vulnerability. I cried right along with you because I experience all of those things you mentioned & wanted to just hug the crap outta you. I have CPTSD & multiple PTSD events throughout my life & I feel so sad for others who experience such hardships. I struggle a LOT with vulnerability & being able to be open/honest about any time I'm going through hardship. Reaching out for help was consistently met with more traumatic experiences, resulting in my brain thinking that it's safer to keep quiet & pretend you're happy/not suffering, or even allowing abuse because not doing that was incredibly dangerous. I know it's unlikely you'll see my comment but in the off chance you do, please don't feel sorry for sharing your bravery in your vulnerability. Ppl like you are a beacon of light in this world & anyone who tries to dim that is not worthy of your time/energy. Thank you for all you do🙏🏻💖
Thank you ! 😊 I'm right there with you.😊❤
I have complex post traumatic stress because my own mother is a true psychopath. She abusing me from my childhood and I have very severe trauma with this devil and experience severe ptsd and cptsd again and again. But recently from 2020 and till now 2022 abuse specially verbal abuse including threat,bully,gaslight,blame,project,rage all is happening like a tornedo with me. Whenever She starts shouting and screaming and baiting me through gaslighting and threats then I feel cptsd in my brain and body and i feel seriously sick and feel extremely frightened and thinking that maybe she attacks me physically. Because psychopaths completely differs from narcissists and they are true monsters that I ever seen. This lady i.e. my psychopath mother is a real devil and demon and have no empathy for anybody including me. I have many many ptsd and cptsd but nobody hears or helps or understands my pain. I am so alone and helpless
Don't worry about making a "perfect" presentation. What you told us was very helpful and your willingness to be human and vulnerable with us only makes us appreciate you more.
This is so true and so real. The immense anger, PTSD and stupid dreams triggering me is immense. Self-isolation keeps me sane but it is unhealthy.
After finding your videos within the last 24 hours I have come to find that my mother seems to be a narcissist, and your videos really provide a deeper understanding of her behaviors as well as an understanding of my reactions. Thank you for what you do.
My parents are narcissistic too, I only realized that in the past year. These videos have helped me understand as well. I’m sorry you are see yourself in the doctors work, however keep watching, you can’t heal what you can’t identify.
Mine as well
You are not alone🧡