Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #men
Man you are all wrong. Women think about all this things when they are not sure if you are their type. It is all simple. When you meet a proper woman nothing is a problem
ok , this might be contradictory but hypergamy DOESNT exist.. what we call as hypergamy is something we allow women to pursue in todays society. think about the past any era in history, if a women goes after top guy, she can have his baby but he is not going to share resources unless courts make him, disguised as child welfare . its an artificial rule contrary to nature. think deeply. she becomes single mom and child has less life expectancy without father in past. she be abused too. its the risk she takes meanwhile regular men having no lineage at all. nature is balanced. its just BEHAVIOURAL ECONOMICS.
Running behind hypergamy may work for some dudes, but for the majority of normal men, it's not worth it. We must also consider how women's standards are getting more ridiculous every week while they offer little to nothing.
Not just today but also tomorrow when she comes back knocking at your door after she was used and abused by her chosen one (S), don't accept sloppy seconds.
Experienced divorce attorney here. If you are a young guy, focus like a laser on becoming the very best version of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Don’t pursue women. Attract them. Depending on your jurisdiction, do NOT get married without a valid prenup. Stay safe out there!
Im 63 and i constantly see attractive women with drunks, Criminals, men that have very little money. But they CONNECT. And are masters at TALKING. Forget the status myth. Makes too much sense that women want a nice guy thats going somewhere. Women will THINK the opposite. Its Emotion. Its Connection.
@@itzakehrenberg3449 Think he's talking about the men who are "bad boys" that the women go after. You really can't make a simple conclusion since women are all over the place in their preferences. It's a stupid game at the end of the day.
If you chase only butterflies, they will fly away but if you put effort in making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come flying by themselves, and even if they don't come, you'll still have a beautiful garden.
From my own life experience what he’s saying is true. And it’s sad. For 30 years, I worked in the field of special events (large wedding parties, art openings, etc.. all sorts of social gatherings). At all these events of say 100 people or more, I consistently saw the women lining up to try and talk to the same 2 men in the room. The other single men, would be almost completely ignored. At the times I engaged and chatted with a group of women standing in their own group, i generally found they were all talking about those same two men, and asking each other how they might get introduced to those same 2 men. An entire event-space full of other men would be standing around like wallflowers, almost completely ignored. Those men got no play whatsoever. This always shocked me. And before I learned all this new information, I would ask myself, “Are they really this transparent,.. this shallow?” And I concluded that yes, they were.
You missed the point, you don’t want to be those two men. The point is you don’t want any of those women who want those two men. Be your true self, quit worrying about what women want and just be genuine. The right woman will come along. As long as your genuine self isn’t a self absorbed narcissist lol.
This was me! Got a graduate degree, six pack and six figures by 25, but still couldn't land a woman. Finally found someone who seemed to appreciate how awesome I was, but it turns out she was a narcissist. I didn't know what that meant back then. Now I'm divorced and broke and starting over at 40. Let me be your cautionary tale young men, watch this channel and learn to vet women before you let them come stay on your island
I’m going to give you some free advice, you are free to take or leave it: “appreciate how awesome I was” is the kind of thinking you need to bury. Your ex may have been a narcissist. Not trying to offend, but I would guess there were two narcissists in that relationship. You sound like you are fighting back from a hard landing. Good luck to you. Your path will be easier if you don’t come across as a narcissist.
@@adamesd3699 great point, I definitely need to be careful the way I say it. Here I was going more for hyperbole to match the video's lesson -- like hey, I've got a six pack and six figures, everything the women say they want, but no one gave me the time of day for some unknown reason (which we learned in the video). But when I linked up to my narcissist and she was love bombing me it felt as though I was her superhero and was the best guy since sliced bread. Finally all my workouts and investments were paying off. 🙂 I appreciate you checking me so I could introspect on this
It's not impossible. If you can accept being with someone that is a close match for you, then try to make it work. After all if you're a close match then it probably should work. But if they arent able to see it that way then that's on them and they arent going to be able to find what they want. Settle with someone that will settle for you. It's humbling.
They're making it sound complicated, but really this stuff is obvious if you're thinking about it at all. Sure, feminism muddies the water, but ultimately, if you're not exceptionally short, exceptionally ugly or exceptionally poor, all you really gotta do is be nice, be confident, be _firm,_ and have standards. The fact is that EVERY aspect of life, every single one, has a million little things to navigate. If your parents didn't prepare you in any way, if you don't have life experience, then everything will be a confusing challenge, from ordering food at the McDonald's counter to picking up packages at the post office.
Chasing women didn't bring any good to anyone, it can just put you in misery. But when they start chasing and gravitating towards you, you need to know how to impress them even more (I recommend reading First date playbook: A step by step guide to a great start. You will have some tricks up your sleeve).
Just chasing isn't the point the physical and mental bonding is . If you are choosing women that make you work hard for it. They are using you. Jeez.. the problem is you say one thing and do another . You say you don't like these women who owns it cheap online or who where tight clothing or or basically want you to spend all your money on them. These women are using you and they'll keep using you and have 10 little guys in the backdrop. If you go for someone who isn't glamorous you're more likely to get a decent person with values. These values will lead her to cherish you as a man and the provider , possible father and obviously a decent husband.
My 2 cents. Don't try to dive too deep into the pool of women's thoughts. Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving. Don't spend too much time, money, or energy trying to get or keep a woman.
Exatly, be okay with women making their decisions while you make your own. If they don't find you attractive coz you are ugly, fat, short, a race she doesn't like, broke or whatever other reason fair enough. But you are also free to decide whether or not to approach them or spend any time with them.
From my experience there are two types of Hypergamy. Looks Hypergamy Financial Hypergamy. Obviously a Woman would prefer a Man who has both Looks and Finances. If you fit her financial Hypergamy but she doesn’t find you se*ually attractive, she will step out on you from time to time with someone who does, usually an ex boyfriend. If you fit her looks Hypergamy but she doesn’t feel you could provide for a family or lifestyle, she will still give you se*ual access to her but she will not commit to you and she will look for someone who can take care of her financially. She will always keep contact with you if you stay looking good and will reach out from time to time to enjoy a good romp, but she won’t commit to you!
Tbh the last deal does not need to be that bad. Basicly you are describing the chads, if I know she will not commit but will bang I can still do my own thing outside of her. Thats actually not a bad deal, the only one who is losing is the dude she is so called committing to. They are the only one who lose, sex is a reward from a males perspective. I told this girl, why would I commit and date you for real when you gave it out for free? She did not know what to anwser. Dumped her after she gave other stupid anwsers and now she wants to meet up to talk lol.
Pool boy satisfies her genetic hypergamy.....the millionaire who owns the pool satisfies her provision hypergamy. The pool boy is very temporary and she will likely cash out of the millionaire eventually.
I'm 63 and chose to never marry. I'm well educated, over 6 feet tall, earned over six figues for decades and owned my own company. I can speak to anyone, anywhere at any time. However, I spent 10-12 hours per day making deals, playing politics and resolving issues. I was NOT willing to play the sort of games most women insist upon. It was not worth my time. I did meet and date some fascinating women. I never married because living up to their expectations was exhausting. I wanted someone I could build with, not for. I am NOT a human-shaped ATM and refused to play that part. I've now retired and live alone on my boat.. now there's a happy ending for you.
And the best way to lose everything you worked so hard for…hypergamy. A whole industry worth over $50 billion a year in the US has grown up around it. Lawyers, accountants, marriage counselors, domestic violence “professionals”, etc. Stay single, stay solvent.
Like Aaron Clarey keeps saying: "Most woman generally don't like most men." So if you're working from that supposition, everything that's been happening in the last twenty years starts to make sense.
A lot of the men that find women "confusing" or "impossible to understand" are typically unwilling to accept certain realities about women. If you're fed false axioms and suppositions about women all your life, of course women would seem confusing or impossible to understand when little of their behavior actually logically follows from those axioms. It's only when you accept things about women -- things that a lot of guys don't want to accept -- that women start making more sense and are no more "complicated" than men.
W0men are now *independent.* As in, they don't *need* a man to survive. They work and can survive on their own. So .. what does a man bring to *their* table? Sex. So, w0men are *only* interested in men they (sexually) *want.*
Don't be put off by the challenge of self-improvement. Being a high-value man isn't just about attracting women, it’s about cultivating habits that benefit you personally. It's understandable to feel frustrated, but don't let resentment stop you. Self-discipline and daily growth give you a mental toughness that's invaluable. What’s more, this journey can even lead you to a supportive, high-value woman, making it even more rewarding. It’s not about being in the 'top 10%,' it's about becoming the best version of yourself.
You get it. This is what I've done and I've happily had 80% of my adulthood filled with companionship and love with a woman who gets to witness me grow and age like wine. If your woman can witness your ever-improving situation - she'll want a ticket to ride that train and keep riding and riding and.... 😉
NEEDING someone makes you weak and dependent, KNOWING yourself and making yourself your priority and living a life that is respectful of you and your purpose and goals makes you high value.
The more you let them know you 'need them', the less they'll desire you. You have to prove you know your worth and you existed before them and will after.
I am a retired man who was never married, lived with a woman, or had any children. I am not rich; however, I live comfortably on my own terms. I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap! I will emphasize to all the younger men that whatever you can provide will NEVER BE ENOUGH - make the right choices!
Even though I'm in my mid 30s I'm heading your way, I just don't need the drama and the stress. Planning to buy myself a house near the sea this year and live my life there.
" I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap!" unfortunatelly we ALL are involved for example by taxes (they want more and more so they can even push a law working with simps to rob others and give it to them (females). calculate whos paying taxes and who is taking most benefits from those taxes and filter it by gender its like black and white they are better in manipulation so they manipulate system into benefiting them robbery
As an experienced divorce attorney who handles high asset divorces, you are correct. Whatever you can provide to most women will never be enough. I have seen cases where multi millionaire entrepreneurs give the wife an incredible lifestyle, but she is “not happy” and files for a no fault divorce. There are a few exceptions but they are rare.
or you could just be you and see who likes it? its like complaining why does everyone like skinny jeans when in reality just there's a crowd that just really likes and other baggy jeans my ex wouldn't be seen as conveniently attractive but he was sure as heck cute to me
It is a bitter pill, yes. If I had known as a young man how this all actually worked, I would have never pursued women at all. The pursuit of women has cost me more than any other activity in life. I, like so many men, fell prey to the gaslighting that society fed me that any barrier that I might perceive was something I could overcome. The analogy that I call forward is having every person of influence in your life telling you that even though you are 5' 4" tall, the only thing standing between you and a career in the NBA is cultivating a positive attitude. The truth is bitter, but it is not as cruel as the alternative of magical thinking.
Big business benefits when you buy gifts, presents & drinks for a women who friend zoned you the moment she met you. Government benefits through taxes. It’s all a big game bro. That’s why the black pill is “toxic” and the “blue pilled” way of thinking is the societal norm.
@@Buddyboyo7 Just stand up straight, take a shower, have confidence and women will be all over you. If you fail, try, try, try again. Make sure you pay as much tax in the mean time.
Being a bad boy will overcome any height problems, I guarantee you. Can't count how many babes I've seen with shorter guys, as long as they look like li'l Wayne wanna-be's, everything her Dad doesn't want her to date. Wear a baseball cap backward, let your pants sag, say stupid things and give the impression you think you're being a wise-ass, clever & funny. Tell her car-jacking stories, and joke about burning civilization down. She'll want to 'fix' you - eventually - but first she just wants to enjoy being seen with you. Women turn shit-for brains for the bad boy.
I'll share my story about hypergamy. I've grown disgusted because of it due to women hiding their existing relationship. Women will walk up, talk until they like me, and then start flirting with me. When I show I am not interested and they finally take the hint, I will then hear them talking with another women about their existing boyfriend. Apparently deception and Infidelity, as I see it, are perfectly acceptable to certain women as long as they benefit.
I believe once you the see the true nature of what women are capable of, you can never go back. I’ve been with both married women and women in LTRs. If her needs aren’t met, she’ll meet up with a dude on the side and the boyfriend/husband will never find out. Brutal.
I've never met a truly "single" woman in my adult life. He might not give her a title but someone is *filling a void* in her life. Just understand it's all in the game and it's in their nature to monkey branch. It's written in their firmware.
Ive met a few man from the top of the food chain and them are disgusted and dont trust MOST OF THE FEMALES they met. And those guys used to fuck many. But the more their in the game, the more they disgust.
you will always find out, sometimes sooner sometimes later. You can clearly see the hints when they change behaviour and the fact that we are living in a world where every human is on the phone all the time its hard to hide. If they have to hide something from you on their phone you will clearly notice
As someone who sucked with women in my 20s but still worked on my body and career, now that I'm in my 30s and get lots of attention from women i refuse to settle down because i worked my a$$ off to get where i am now just so a women who wouldn't look my way in my 20s can benefit from me, fk that, i tell young men all the time to work on themselves and not focus on women at all
Because wounds leave scars but orgasms quickly fade. It’s a sad truth that really good things do not leave permanent marks on a person, but really bad things often do.
@@eurosalamanderof course threats to your central nervous system symbolize potential death. Rewards only symbolize potential increased happiness but doesn’t ensure life.
Airline pilot, make $450-$500K a year, working 12 days a month... drive a new Porsche 911, 6'0 tall, 52 and fit... and I still struggle to get the quality of women I want... yes, occasionally I do get them, but it's A LOT of work and failure upon failure ... numbers game.
Should be super easy in a poorer country. Pretty sure you'd need vajine repellent if you went to a hotel bar in a Latin American country in that sweet flight jacket uniform, especially if you're European ancestry.
Even if you become a high value man, the juice is not worth the squeeze. One of the most uncomfortable things to accept is that women are not worth it, even if you are attractive. Put yourself first fellas, let go of the idea of some dream woman who you need.
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
Yes, exactly. If the female side of selection is that a man is always at risk of being left by her, then there's little to no motivation for him to be involved with a modern woman, who can not manage to value loyalty. Men are learning. The problem is that what they are learning is turning them from females for good. Better to invest that time in a career.
It does matter,woman can squeeze 18yrs of resources out of 1 night. And there will always be more men for women to swindle. They just don't care about us. They care about themselves and their children, once you understand this women are easy to deal with
For much of human history, women had no access to money or credit. They stayed married, not because they were loyal, but because they could not leave. They would starve. They had to put up with cheating husbands, abusive husbands and poor treatment. Now women can leave. While men seem to think women leave relationships willy nilly, that is far from the case. Most women will make many attempts to improve a relationship before leaving. Often men see the women's attempts to fix the relationship as nagging. Now you have to negotiate a relationship with a human that can support herself, so now she is going to want more than food and shelter. She is going to want a connection, sex, romance, communication, a shared work load in the home. It is more about being clear about what you want and offer and finding a person that wants the same thing as you.
The purpose of meeting a woman's hypergamous criteria is you have more choice in who you date, that's it. It doesn't mean you are guaranteed a girlfriend or that you can't get a girlfriend without those things. You can. It just dramatically improves your odds.
But does it make you happy? Essentially, you are grinding to meet someone's criteria, but do they meet yours? Things will change when men actively start playing hypergamy game as well.
@@00_UU because of patriarchy men did what they wanted so women were oppressed. Now it is men who feel a form of oppression which is also partly because men dominated the past. Tomorrow it will be men again then women to a never ending circle. Balance is a utopia. People are idiotic and shellfish organisms.
4:46 Dr. Orion you said "Hypergamy primarily benefits men." Hypergamy primarily benefits THE 10% of men that reach that level. Current hypergamy is devastating to the western society. Good productive members of society men can not get good faithful wives and start and maintain families. Women by their own choice prefer to be 304s and part of a harem of a 10% man (that can be a bad role model/criminal) And we have many children brought up by single mothers (by choice!) and we know the statistics of how that is going.
I'll help you think. If you want to lift 200lbs. Your first day in the gym you find that you cannot lift that much. So, you set out to improve yourself. This is called self-improvement. So to overcome the barrier of hypergamy, men are motivated to improve themselves. Which benefits the man when he works to improve himself. Hpergamy benefits ALL men who try.
The prevalence of delusion of high self worth in western women (aka im 10, everyone beautiful), causes hypergamy to be devastating. Up to 1960s women instinctively knew whom can they get to force to commit in case of pregnancy - that was grounding the hypergamy. Now their hypergamy thanks to the birth control extends to the very top, way past upper tier of men the woman can get to commit.
@@peaceonearth8693 I get the general idea you are trying to tell but it is NOT 100% correct. A lot of men that try develop mental illness. Some want to take shortcuts (steroids for body or aggressive trading/crypto/gambling for the money part) All these things can lead to catastrophic results. Men are doing plastic surgery. So current hypergamy does NOT benefit everyone that tries. Women have always been hypergamous even in the “good ol’ days” but within reason. That is why I am using the term “current” hypergamy. It is out of control!
Some of those good productive men who can’t get wives or let alone sex…have a potential for turning violent for not getting their sexual needs met…and that’s a huge problem for society, young men that have nothing to lose and feeling disrespected by society…not a good look
You make outstanding points. Thank you. Men need to become indifferent to women. A woman who gets 5 looks an hour is confident and satisfied. Men need to understand that giving a look/attention has no reward. Women desire attention from specific men in their presence. It's a subtle reward game that men don't understand. The reward for her is your attention and nothing else. That says to her "I can have any man." That's all she cares about. Flirting for women is to get attention. If she has to be obvious about flirting the value of the attention is less. Rejecting a man's attention in a public place elevates her value/status even if she would like to engage in conversation with that man. Men will not be happy with a woman that plays this game. They are in a loop and endorphins are enough. Better for men to not only become a protector/provider but to find a valuable woman. Women playing this game are not valuable. Valuable women do valuable things. Being what used to be called a slut for attention is not valuable.
Starting a relationship with a good woman is extremely difficult, but once a foundation has been built, it's more about consistency and doesn't require the extreme expectations that many insinuate from talks like this. A good woman will make your life much better, the problem is, like there are only so many men in the top 10%, there are only so many good women and they're almost always taken by their late 20s, usually earlier. It's a human problem, not strictly a female problem. This is where stoicism is so useful. Control what you can, be self-aware and improve what you reasonably can, and put yourself in places where you could meet someone. But know you can do everything right and never meet someone worth spending your life with. That's all a man can do. You have a high chance of dying alone and childless, so do something fulfilling with your time, doing that thing is also what gives your a greater shot at attracting a good woman.
The thing is,if you're a top 20%er then women are much more tolerant of your inconsistencies. It is impossible to be consistent all the time. When women hit the wall, it's why they become so tolerant and keep themselves around even through troubling times. They don't have much for options. But when you're just above average and you slip up in any aspect, the clock starts ticking rapidly and everyone else starts looking like a better option to them than you.
Saying that it's extremely difficult is still selling it short. You literally have less than 1 in a 1000 chance for that to happen and that's if you're pretty high up on the men list yourself. If not...just forget it.
@@HenrySomeone In spite of the way cokebottles frames his argument (which I found very persuasive), you do not end up with one chance at this. There are uncountable variables at work every single day, and each reasonable instance is a new chance.
"The juice is not worth the squeeze." This captures my sentiments towards women. Even if I meet the criteria most women have, they will make up more requirements and just give me a headache. I can get sex easily, but dealing with women for much more than that tends to be tiresome.
It is only worth it if, and only if, you are becoming a better catch for yourself and only for yourself. You need to focus on you and I will tell any one, guy or gal, to do the same thing. No one gives guys anything.
Yup, you're better off just deciding in what ways you want to "grow" so that your growth is actually beneficial to yourself, instead of trying to "grow" to attract women and hope that as a byproduct you might get some personal benefit from such growth.
The problem I have with accepting "grind to be top 10% men" idea is that if it's not sustainable for the majority of the society, then I can't treat it as if it were. That's why I think I'd rather forego the grind than do that, or meet a woman with low hypergamous drive - they do exist, but ironically obviously they're not to be found where hypergamous women do gather (clubs, dating apps, etc...) and they mostly check out of the dating game early. It just feels ridiculous to me because only 10% can be top 10%. Therefore, the strategy is not viable for the society. I can hear "why care about the society, just be top 10%", but that's just not gonna work coz it's gonna result in say 30% of men trying to be 10%. It's gonna keep making people unhappy, both men and women 😊
Counterpoint, women are goofy. That "top %10" is totally contextual. They really have no clue what they want most of the time. Just be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck bro 👍
This is where the slightly autistic male brain reaches it's limits. Attraction is not a math equation. Women aren't comparing stats (they're also not comparing bank accounts; at least the sane ones are not.) Women want security, so they compare you're ability to provide security to that of the next man. Just as you are comfortable dating a "pretty enough" woman. A woman is comfortable (and content) dating a "secure enough" man. You don't have to be in the top10%, no matter how many gold digger horror stories you've heard. But 10% is a good goal to strive for nonetheless. Just don't get obsessed. Again, this is like a woman obsessed with looking like an instagram model, because she thinks this is the only way for her man to stay loyal. Then you have women just giving up on looking decent at all, because "they don't want to compete".... Don't fall victim to this deluded mindset. Compete, but don't obsess. Life is balance. Good luck
he's exagerating , fucking a girl isnt that much a challenge. Not all girls are "hypergamous" or have and endless list of silly requirements that a man must meet. It's mostly about developping genuine frendship
Great info on female hypergamy. That’s why I quit the dating and mating strategy decades ago. Better to be informed and not participate at all then to get shafted by being naive
Great video. You gave a new look to how men are the ones who benefit from their own hard work on improving and being the best version of themselves. Men just need to realise that women will always be looking for something better, (ALWAYS) and in the end of their constant search this person doesn't exist. It reminds me of the joke/story 'Husband Super Store' It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands... First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder what's further up?" Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor so further up they went. Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went. Fifth floor The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are fucking impossible to please.
This video is like a winning lottery ticket and/or almost every sentence of it hits like a lightning bolt! Seriously, it's so accurate and useful that it should be made mandatory in schools wherever possible!!!! THIS _is_ the real deal ‘bout gender senzitization/awareness. Thank you very much and congratulations!
In my opinion this is a blue pill video. Most men can't get to the top 5-10% club in women's term. You will be usually either too ugly or too short. It's now mostly about looks. Hypergamy don't benefit men. It's only benefiting the very top percentage of men. And that top percentage base only on women definition. You can be top 1% by men's definition, and they still prefer to date broken model, or handsome tall drug diller. Avoid being best version of yourself just to attract woman. This is usually genetic contest. Nothing about your passions, hobbies, intelligence or spirit.
As a 5'2 guy who would get brutally rejected and ridiculed because of his height, i can confidently say i stopped chasing women a while ago, i let them come to me now. Despite this supposed hurdle i have dated, and ALL of the girls i dated came onto me first, started talking to me first and showed interest first, no exceptions, and i decided that is exactly how I'll take things for the rest of my life, unless i somehow magically grow taller. I see myself as the" prize" not the other way around and yeah i want someone worthy to claim me, someone who will appreciate me for me, and if it doesn't happen it's fine, either way i get my happy ending.
@@Himmel23 Im not sure how much money you make, or how old you are, but im actually a little jealous... Im 2 inches taller than you and no woman has ever complimented my face lol. Yeah i dont think cute is necessarily a good thing coming from a woman... but id take that over nothing lol
@@bro918 Aw hell nah, I'm just 22 and broke lol. And no, cute isn't exactly what you want to hear indeed but hey, if it gets me girlfriends I'm all for it LMAO. Most of my relationships were before i turned 18 though so maybe there's something there? I wouldn't know. I'm currently going through college so maybe I'll have a decent condition in the future, who knows...
@@Himmel23 No. Your face must be exceptionally good if you get compliments. Men basically never get any compliments whatsoever. Let alone about physical attractiveness, or from women.
What women say they want, what women want and what they respond to are completely different things. They say they want a guy in touch with emotion but as soon as we show it, they naturally see us as weak. Stick to your guns gentlemen. Be yourself, if she doesn't like you, she's not the one
@@musashi542 - Because it’s easier than naming the seven or eight exceptions every single time. It’s funny to me how We can sit down and watch a National Geographic documentary on the lifestyle or mating habits of the African elephant, the orangutan, or the meerkat, and say to ourselves, “see how they act? That’s very interesting…. We might even watch a special on the Pygmies in The jungles of South America and discuss what we’ve learned about them at the water cooler the next morning.. But as soon as we share observations about Western vvomen, we get some nut that stands up and says NAWALT! Well guess what … AWALT! Perhaps instead of avoiding accountability in today’s society, vvomen should conduct them selves like adults, observe their behavior patterns and perhaps take some steps toward self improvement now and again. Men, Orcas and many other species do it all of the time. Why can’t vvomen? Why is their first line of defense, “NAWALT” or “Men do it too!”? 🤦♂️ PS. Now you know why those “u people” that you grouped together - do it. ;)
I totally agree with you! It's easy to think that being high-value automatically guarantees success, but it’s much more about understanding the deeper emotional and psychological dynamics. I’m curious, do you think there are any qualities men often overlook that could actually make them more attractive to women, aside from the obvious external traits or accomplishments?
Hi Dr. Orion. My name is Don. Thank you so much for the bitter pill to swallow, it was necessary and very encouraging. I'm on a path to learning how to be better with women and to be more confident in the process. Thanks for the video and I hope you have an amazing day.
Another thing to note about women’s sexual selection is that they select men that are relatively high value, as in, they pick the best men available to them at that time. If you get a room with ten women and ten men, nine of whom are trash and one man is average, those ten women will look at the average guy like he’s a Greek god. Conversely, change those ten men to where nine of them are exceptional men, and the other man is slightly better than the rest by 1 percent and he will be looked at as a Greek god, while the other men will literally be treated the same by women as below average men would. This is why I balk at this movement in the Manosphere to push for all men to get better because it doesn’t change the rules, it just makes it harder for men to compete.
I agree. I have said before you can be a "contextual alpha" based on your environment. I've always been a catch but there are friends I never go out with to talk to girls for example, because I know I can't compete lol! A man must know his limitations 😁
@@rocstarang5747 You've said this before to whom? who are you and why are you quoting YOURSELF to a bunch of strangers? Have you written a book, or have a podcast or some level of competency above us? or are you an average dude too? LMAO ( if I have told men once, i have told them a thousand times, but they just wont listen! ha ha ha)
Its all about pure, raw, phyisical attraction when it comes to hooking up with women. Period. I'm a former Chippendales dancer, so i saw this unfold, in real time, every single show. A lot of women were willing to throw away their relationship for one night with us. And they were the ring leaders in the debauchery. Not saying we were angels either, dont get me wrong. But there were many instances where we've had to stop it from happening. But that being said, this is an EXTREME case that less than 1% of men will ever experience.
Raw physical attraction gets you access but doesn't necessarily keep them around. Women are just as happy as men are to use a person as a sex object and throw them away once they get bored. That said, I've had an alarming number of married women and women in relationships try to sleep with me. It makes me so sad for the men in their lives that I eventually developed a policy that I no longer sleep with women in relationships. I know how it makes that man feel and also I couldn't risk eventually taking some crazy guy's girl and having my house lit on fire.
@Joseph-C Yeah the women at these shows were freaking nuts. And every single time, there were multiple different women that were ready and willing to hook up. Anywhere. It Didn't matter if they were married, engaged, had a boyfriend, young, old, or their race. They all acted the same.
@@handsomeX However, you must factor in countries that aren't as developed as Western countries. In my country we were once ranked as "The most beautiful people in the world". But due to our economics, women value security faaaaar more than the exterior of the man
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju and that's how it should be - security, reliability and trust. Comfortable Western life decayed all of those words in modern relationships. Bad relationship decisions of w3men are encouraged, while men are constantly portrayed as evil and st00pid on TV.
Yes, spot on as always. I have decided not to even bother with it anymore. It is all transactional anyway. I have decided to give my money to charities in alignment with my values.
Yes, it does fit with my personal experience. It's kinda frustrating to know this but I have been seeing this for years. Thanks for explaining it. The more I grow and achieve as a man, the less I feel obligated to prove myself to anyone, including women.
8:13 The only “easy” women are the low value, problematic borderline/bipolar ones with daddy issues - or those needy/insecure/immature ones. Not worth it.
False, if you are high value or position yourself as high value, some genuinely good women become "easy." They'll do things with you they wouldn't do with lesser men.
Unbelievable number of gems in this clip. I don't have time to call them out right now, but I will come back because I want to help highlight some parts that I had to learn the hard way, and also reinforce some of the the parts I really need to hear, absorb, and accept. Just wanted to drop a quick comment before I head to work to say thanks and help you in my small way by helping the algorithm get this message out there.
57, never married, never cared. I like what I do, I have friends, I live as I please. I figured I'd let my friends get married first, and see how it turned out for them. Almost to a one, the marriages disintegrated, leaving broken families, asymmetrical parental influence, etc. Live for your own interests, and if someone wants to join you on part of your journey, great. Stay true to your path. The only thing worse than someone criticizing how you spend your time or money - is actually caring what they think.
Thanks for the video Dr. Orion. By all my accounts with the information available, it seems best to date women during the "honeymoon" or "cupcake" phase of the relationship: first 3-9 months. Asking for longevity beyond that with everything we know about women and hypergamy its a huge ask it seems. And a bunch of men feeling like its a huge ask, that is certainly a problem for society. If society doesnt see it now, or sees it but chooses to ignore it now, it likely will shift course in the future
The huge ask is directed to men - are you capable of the manly commitment needed? One guide could be Jordan B Peterson, it seems many young men intuitively understand that he is a father and a teacher. There are many other mature men, too, on the right track. Maybe dr Taraban, too, in due time.
Spot on. That particular time frame(give or take) is the BEST it will ever be in the relationship. Either nothing, or Short term stints are the ways to go in this day and age.
@@michaelcap9550 Coach Greg Adams and Dr Orion would be a great deep dive together. I think both of their own similar perspectives on marriage is one of the most thought provoking topics men can discover on all of TH-cam.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s was thinking that money would equate to more women. I hit 6 figures and tried to use my career to bolster my self esteem. High value men must hit all check boxes, warrior , king, magician and lover. I’m his takes time, countless failures and patience. This is why younger women tend to be attracted to older men, they have done the work
@@ClarkeIllmatical How much of that was genuine attraction and how much was gold digging though? I've really almost never seen the former stretch much past a 10 year difference, no matter how good looking the guy was.
@@HenrySomeone It's the guy, really. Also, you'll learn that MOST women are gold diggers to a degree. Your mother, my mother, the man provided and the woman provided her body.
A big shout out to the pickup community. They, more than any group, identified and presented this information. And the response to hypergamy or the strategies have also been identified. GAME.
My way of dating is to not be disappointed in a woman who shows her true self and i dont like it. Being honest and sometimes brutality honest while also trying to be successful and she'll either stand by you and support you or she'll get tired of you in the first month. Honesty is the best filter
Rightly said. That is the original purpose of dating, to see if there is compatibility for a long-term relationship. If it isn't going to work out at least you know early on.
It definitely sounds like a lose lose for men. My personal experience doesn’t feel as bleak, even as an obese man but I only proximity dated so my conversation always helped with a subset that really enjoy that trait over others. I wouldn’t try to date today if my life depended on it. Because I have felt a shift towards misandry in casual interactions. I’m not friendly to people who assume the worst in me constantly. Easier for me to walk away than be demonized.
long relationships tend to be lose-lose for men. if it doesn't work out you could end up losing your money, house and kids in divorce. if it does work out, she will end up moaning, complaining, causing drama and chaos, and you lose access to other women. the juice isn't worth the squeeze, gentlemen.
I crave sex too much to ever stop dating, but I've also picked up on the shift you talk about. I've slept with ten women in the past year and only three of them did not hold what could politely be called questionable attitudes towards men. The rest were flagrant or closeted misandrists who viewed men like Christian fundamentalists view humans: tainted by Original Sin. I feel sorry for the young men growing up in this world. I remember what it was like to date in the early 2000s. Men were not judged for being men and women did not approach them with a mixture of contempt, hypocrisy and greed. One of the woman I slept with earlier in the year came to my city on holiday from abroad. She was clearly in a relationship - writing lightning fast texts to her partner when I was paying for drinks or going to the toilet. She expected me to pay for everything even though she proudly told me how much she earns - about 50% more than me. I footed the bill because I knew she'd put out, which she did, but she stopped me in the act because she realised she was making a mistake and high-tailed it out of my place soon after. I laughed my ass off at that. Just imagine how deluded and disingenuous you have to be to do all of those things and STILL present yourself as a victim. This woman worked for one of the world's largest banks, was privately educated from a young age, and had a celebrity dentist for a father (clients including Hollywood actors).
So you basically treated a woman in a relationship like a prostitute, plying her with drink to get her to drop 'em, then think its her attitude problem when she comes to her senses in time before you can spray her with whatever you've picked up by having ten throwaway liasons per year?
@@cisvaughan6937 I didn't 'treat' her to anything. She came to me looking for sex, not the other way around, and she did so by setting up a temporary profile on a dating app. She lined a date up with me within a *day* of arriving in my city and she was only here for a week. I'd love to hear your justification for that lapse of judgement. As for alcohol, I didn't 'ply' her with anything - I actually suggested a meal - but she wanted drinks instead, so I went along. Nor did I 'spray' her with anything as I practise safe sex - the only spraying would have been on and into latex, had it come to that. Have you got any more cliches up your sleeve? Your attempt to paint me as the problem in this situation is really very amusing. It's *precisely* what I meant about original sin - men are always the problem, even when they clearly are not.
When initiated as a means to win the game of women's hypergamy, the path to self-improvement is likely to become a lost cause. By the time you physically, financially, and psychologically reach that point (and that's IF you do), you will have aged, and your mindset will have shifted so dramatically that you will have lost most interest in playing the game to begin with. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I believe that men who are truly successful with women possess partially inborn characteristics and acquire the remaining attributes during childhood and the teenage years. I can tell by experience and by observation, the number one attribute to get women is raw physical attraction, followed by having game. So, a guy who is tall, about 12-15% body fat and with above average facial features will have it very easy in his 20s and 30s, even with below average game skills. If you lack height and the other physical features listed above, then you need charisma and savoir faire, here's where game skills become important. If you lack both physical attributes and game skills, your best bet is money and status, which will enable you to get all the sex you want, but you will only be used and played by women, just don't forget that. It is what it is, not everyone can be in the top 10% obviously.
exactly, the conclusion is, stop playing the game cuz its a loop boys, u will chase your own tail, u will never ever reach the top 1% its an infinity point, what women basicaly ask for is a god creature that can transform matter into energy and vice versa. its a lost cause. stop listening to con artists trying to sell you their course so u can ''game'' women. only solution i have for u is stay fit, lift weight get in shape and that for health physical and mental health, women are drawn into this basic trait, fk that ''have game have money'' u will end up being scammed by women, she will play it soo good u will never believe she played u and all her ''love'' was a lie. in the end u will be left with nothing. peace
Exactly!! The Chads are already born with those physical features, which are unattainable for other men. Can't change your genetical height, can't change your genetical facial structure. Becoming "the best version" of yourself doesn't change the genetical facial structure.
The problem with aiming to be a "high-value man" through the eyes of women is that some characteristics considered attractive have little to no benefit to your life. Take physical exercise as an example. If you are a short and skinny looking guy, this might serve you well when running marathons, if that's what you're into. However, most women would never consider you to be at the top of the attraction pyramid. You should do an activity that you enjoy and to promote a healthy life style, but if you let hypergamy guide your motivation, you may end up doing activities you hate for a superficial reason.
The point is, most things that are attractive to women are also beneficial from an objective pov. Exercising, being social, dressing well, making money will all improve your life. Almost all kinds of physical exercise are better than no exercise at all. Of course if you're ectomorphic/skinny, you should focus on lifting weights. You can learn to enjoy the stress of weightlifting. I'm speaking from experience. Once you learn to enjoy the discomfort, you've unlocked a new level in life.
The shorter you are, the worse you are at running. Also marathon runners are not ‘skinny’, they’re slim. They have plenty more muscle than the average person.
@@Shuflin I used skinny to refer to looks. And no, long distance runners tend to be shorter. Great marathon runners over the magical 6 feet tall (the bare minimum for many ladies) are rare.
@@okaySam If you take those aspects in a broader sense, yes, they may be beneficial to you. However, women operate like Procrustes. And their standards tend to go up with time. Exercising is only attractive if it leads to a certain body type. Dressing well to impress women may be totally unnecessary for the man's professional life and requires some time and money. Making money is not what women really seek; it's men manking surplus money to spend on them. A man can live a satisfying and healthy life while being unnatractive to the average overweight single mother. Turning into a Ken doll may make some men happier, but it is not the ultimate path all shall follow. Women's maladaptive attraction be damned.
Imagine the best version of yourself as a man and then work towards making what you envisioned a reality. Don’t do it for women, do it for yourself. When you get there, walk with pride in knowing all that you’ve accomplished.
I'm past 60 and agree 100% with Orion's analysis ... having learned much of it through a long, painful process of mistakes. I am one of those men who is happy without a Western woman in his life. I have children, survived divorces and am self-sufficient in a comfortable retirement. What I don't need in my life is a Western woman. The sum total of everything she could possibly bring to the table, even the fantasy stuff that will never happen, does not even begin to tip the scales in her favor from what I currently have. It is my belief that Western women have made themselves so unpleasant and difficult to be with that more and more men will check out of relationships to pursue solitary activities that are now more attractive.
@@markminister2599 It's mass cultural narcissism, I tell ya. All the characteristics are there: deflection, projection, gaslighting, no accountability, denial, reversing victim/offender role, guilting, triangulation, pity play, imperative thinking, threats ... and more.
I'm a rather young guy, I'm currently in the process of going from a low status minimum wage job to a high status job in a different sector. From previous experience and jumps up and down the status ladder, I already knew that the worlds that we live in are quite different, but I am still shocked about how different I am treated. In a low status job, my existence would hardly be recognized, and sometimes people wouldn't believe what I said was true. No woman would be willing sexualize me, not even remotely. When your status rises, it is almost as if you are reborn, and people suddenly recognize your existence. People look and smile at you before you even said a word. A nice feeling, but I can't help but get extremely saddened by how I and other people, who were ambitious and capable people the whole time, just lacking status, never got the chance to have a try...
It will make you start believing in astrology. No, not the elle magazine type astrology. Real astrology. Your status change comes with a change in other aspects of your life that make you more desirable, they are shallow creatures, so all of the types of things that being shallow comes with, you are able to acquire those things once you reach a better position in your career.
And of course the new attention you get is absolutely worthless, because nobody wants to be liked for a few things that they've recently done. People want to be loved for who they are. Chasing status is completely and absolutely pointless apart from the resources it brings. It cannot make you feel any more seen as a person. The only way to do that is to force yourself on others
I understand the female selection process perfectly. As long as they need something from you, you're in but every guy hopes that it's sex. When it's not sex, you'll get used for your utility, money, work, influence etc. You'll get used until she gets what she wants or the guy stops giving her what she wants. Relationships are DEAD!
Not necessarily. We just have to learn how to steer our boats EARLIER in life, as in get good fatherly advice. I had zero, literally zero, but at last taught myself how to steer. You've GOT to be equally good with no partner as you are with the right one, should she come along. The wrong one? Jibe or tack, brothers; move on, move away. And stay universes away from the hookup game.
70% of women are liberal and woke 🤣 70% ... Men are 70% conservative more even... We miles apart and it will NEVER be forgotten or forgiven what the female vote has ushered in. 70% wokeness in women and you wanna say "just keep at it". They going to die alone in hookup culture sharing Chad and his simps as men will not settle for shit
I wish videos like this existed when I was a young man, but my entire life, I was lied to. When these truths started to finally come out about ten years ago, I was already who I was, and past a certain point, change is nearly impossible. To point #1, I find that the pursuit of becoming a high value man is in direct conflict with attempting to approach women; there is a fixed time trade-off, and pursuit of women takes time away from building status. The final point is the truth; I remember when I first started dating in the 1990s, the bar was much, much lower than it is today. Dating apps were not a thing, heck, cell phones and email were not a thing when I started dating. The shift towards most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of men, to now most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of women hadn't happened yet. Men need superior status to a woman to date that woman; but as woman have greatly increased their own social status in the last 30 years, the bar that they are looking for a man to clear has skyrocketed. That's why men are walking away, it's not that we think the juice isn't worth the squeeze, it's that there is no way in hell it actually is.
Except women do not want an average men with a good income unless he is also tall and good looking. Otherwise he has to basically be rich. Men are are better forgeting about women.
As with every time this concept is presented, it’s hard to hear and impossible to deny. This is the best, most succinct and most complete presentation I’ve seen. Especially the key focus that meeting the hypergamous criteria is nothing more that a preliminary qualification. And, the final statement about how many men essentially decide to give up is a reflection of a natural consequence of hearing the same essentially depressing, exhausting facts hundreds of times on social media.
It's not hearing those facts anywhere that makes men give up, it's that those facts corralate with their personal experiences which they've before perhapse attributed to bad luck or not trying hard enough. When they finally realize it's not them, it's the society and especially women, then they give up and honestly, it's the smart thing to do (at least as far as "serious" relationships go).
I got together with my wife when i was 23. We have struggled together and grown together over 30 years. My advice is to find someone decent at a young age and stay with them for life, before hypergamy becomes dominant as it does in later years. I wasnt top 10% in looks or financially, just found someone decent at a young age, and never wanted to change that. We're still great 30 years later. I'd hate to be on the dating market now...
You probably can't bring yourself to accept that you were just lucky, but it's understandable. We all think "if I could, anyone can." But it's a hollow assumption, made from a blind guess that everyone must be "just like me". It just happened to be one of the lessons of my life that stood out: anything I could do that the average person could not, was due to "special talent" that I was "blessed" with, while anything others could do that I could not, was only because I "didn't apply myself" sufficiently. It never mattered that I would explain the details of how much time and effort I put into something, it will STILL a "gift" that I was given, because the people telling me this had actually tried for a few minutes one day and found that they just didn't have the 'natural' ability. I got to see that people are very funny in the way they view things: once they get an idea in their head, there is no reasoning or amount of explanation that can get it out.
It’s hell bro, just be happy and don’t look at our generation of content, the internet has ruined everything ESPECIALLY women, it WILL subconsciously fuck with your brain.
I went that route myself. Unfortunately, at that age I was too naive, too unaware. I didn't know what I wanted/needed, and I definitely didn't recognize how broken and incapable my wife was. There's never really been a "together" in any of it. The full weight was and has always been on me and nearly all the benefit on her. While I have grown and come into my own, she's the same unaccountable, emotionally stunted child she's ever been. If you're looking for a solution it isn't here either. Perhaps there's something to the strategy of first making yourself then going to find the unmade woman 10 years your junior. Alas, too late for me, I'm already committed.
Pre selection has a steamrolling effect. I moved frequently in my late teens and early to mid 20's and every time I did move I had to restart the process of building my reputation with the women of that area. I had to put much more effort to pick up women at first than say a several months into moving and having success. The reason for that was both word of mouth, women DO talk about how you are in bed and everything else that goes along with the seduction process and secondly, they have eyes and if they constantly see a guy is always around and has success with lots of attractive women it is social proof he is worth going for in a romantic/sexual sense. This would culminate eventually with me being in the position of women approaching me and asking for sex. Not with nearly the frequency I was still initiating the encounters but still with a frequency that most men just could not believe unless they saw it happen. This all happened pre internet/smart phone/dating apps and was almost a word of mouth blue check mark by today's standards. In short, success with women leads to more and easier success.
Ha! My 1st roommate after leaving parental nest, was a muscular, outgoing, happy-go-lucky, good looking scots-irish-curly blonde 25-yo fellow. Didn't have a lot going intellectually (couldn't read, big income potential nearly zilch), but had wisdom around women. To paraphrase, "Easy to get more women when you have one already hanging on your arm". When he was home, there were very often two or three hot young ladies, friends group, there just passing the time.
I told my son to look carefully at the mother of whatever girl he is dating. She WILL end up just like her in the long run. Crazy mother, crazy daughter. He has realized how true that is
@@spacewalktraveller1yeah no one bit of advice is going to be flawless 100% of the time exceptions will always occur but in general I think he is pretty much right aswell on average if the mother of a woman is a complete narcissist manipulating scum then it’s safe to assume the daughter is a hyperbole red flag
That is the cleanest red pill distillation I've ever heard. Men have to do a lot of shit to get women to respond and engage with us. So much energy and effort that not trying anymore seems like the best option. I've just about stopped trying. Feeling like a lost puppy going door to door and being rejected is emotionally exhausting and kills your confidence. But when I'm finally seen by them I will exercise my options.
Why do random stray men project their failures upon billions of strangers? The real problem is that lower end men aren't interested in lower end women!
This reminds me of "Models: Attraction through Honesty"'s chapter about demographics, a well off software engineer at the nightclub is out of his element, but at a tech conference or teaching a city-run class about scratch? But really the thing I think the most about hypergamy is that we always think of it as the top 10% of guys who succeed on tinder getting laid because they are conventionally sexually attractive and have text game. But like my biggest mistake in dating was not giving every woman interested in me a chance in college where my intellectualism shined. Like I am literally going to move across the world to somewhere that matches my political/religious leanings, has a world renowned university, and more activities because I went from nothing in months on dating apps to hookups in days while visiting some places. It's not just money, most women don't care much beyond "has a decent job" but a lawyer will; a PhD student cares a lot more about education and a family oriented woman cares far more about how you are with kids. My experience with being "high value" is that dressing well is around as valuable as having a high paying job; meeting through a shared interest is worth more than owning a condo. I genuinely think that a good career and house literally only "unlock" women with good careers and houses. If you dress well, have a high paying job, travel, and own a house all it does is increase the number of generic women interested in you. Hang out at art exhibitions wearing a beret and going on art dates, suddenly you became the top 10% for art women instantly, way more efficient. So the only thing I would have added to the video is ultimately what "Models" pushes for, do not waste your time on people who are "unreceptive" to you, if she isn't letting you escalate move on. Ultimately you are trying to find the women where you are the top 10% not seduce a specific arbitrary women. Accurately represent yourself as much as possible so you can get selected and force the issue with escalation. Like telling the chemical engineer I met in the park that I want to live a minimalist lifestyle and that I have less education than her literally saves me time if she doesn't connect on instagram when I give her my QR code.
This is such a useful video, one I think any young man needs to see. This is not a humble brag, but I earn close to 200k at 28, own my own property, dress decently and drive a nice car, and over 6ft in athletic shape and my male friends always talk about how easy it must be to get girls with all these things. They don't believe me when I say these things are the cherry on top for most girls, but it won't seal the deal at all, you still need to be confident, charming, be able to hold conversation, not be a creep, etc, etc. This whole high value man thing has been focused on too much, so much so that people think it's the only thing that matters.
Yeah it doesn't matter how many areas you score a 10, you're only as strong as your weakest link. So somewhere around the 51st test or so, you're eventually going to fail. It is just impossible to win, no point trying
I don't think you're right with your last statement; most guys who've done some research know that a truly high value man needs to check all the boxes.
Single women at 20: "Don’t talk to me!” Single women at 30: “Somebody please talk to me!” Single women at 40: “Hey! I’m talking to you!” Single women at 50: “Here Kitty, Kitty.”
This is why I'm single now. I often simply decline to do the backflips that many women request of me to give them my commitment and access to my resources. Or I could get there but they push too hard for a relationship before I've been shown enough to cut other women off. I've always been decent with women and I've since made myself very successful (top 3%) and in turn I'm very busy and very picky with who I spend time with and how I spend my resources. If a womam isn't top notch and showing reciprocal interest, I'm just not going to do backflips and act like she's so much better than me that I'd just be lucky to be around her, which is how it seems many women these days want you to act. I don't know any of these women yet either so I understand starting at 0, but she's at 0 too in my book. I don't want and wouldn't accept just any woman so if there is any prooving to be done, in my mind, it's at least mutual. The issue I have with this paradigm is it gives women the gaul to be a little cute (or not) and tell a top 3% man to impress her without considering what that kind of man wants or thinking she should have to be that, even though she stands to be the primary beneficiary of their association, and she should actually probably be the one trying to impress him.
In a perfect world you’d be right but you fail to include the trump card women have. Many men want to have sex with them and those men can’t even help it because of testosterone and such. Women can do that shit and they most certainly do.
This speaks to the Alpha Widow problem. If you are relatively high status, but deemed inferior to an Ex who dumped her (or just strung her along for sex), she'll often be annoyed with you, and intimacy will be rare. Hypergamy over time Brings Baggage which builds up around a woman.
Exactly. Often times an average women has had a past brief encounter with what she sees as a high value man, and then becomes confirmed in a delusion that any potential long term partners must be at an equivalent or higher value to fit her own deluded perception of value. It's especially sad when you see people who may have been a quite attractive in high School/College, however the looks have slipped with time, but the attitude and expectations haven't. I believe this is the breading grounds for what eventually can turn into a full blown Karen in later life. "Hypergamy over time Brings Baggage which builds up around a woman" .
@@Crippylongstockings that will be fixed if we breed out, hypergamy from women's mind. basicaly let them go extinct if they show any sign of hypergamy.
Glad you did this video. My own experience: I don't check all the boxes that women are supposed to want. I was in school at place where men outnumbered women 7:1. To say it was competitive was an understatement. It took a couple years to learn what to do. It never felt easy though it got better. Mainly knowing how to show enough interest to get s woman's attention without showing too much and scaring her off, and probably more importantly letting things develop say s peace that let the woman think it was her idea. Learning how to recognize when there was sexual tension building. I was also close friends and confident of a lot of women. I don't know being in the friend zone was a bad thing. Those relationships gave me some insight into how women think. Then l graduated, making a fair amount of money. I remember thinking l liked the women l was with when l was a broke student more than the women i attracted when l showed up with the BMW. Even more decades later women are still a mystery. But things like this video do a lot explain the behavior i encountered. I think the most important thing is to realize, it's like a game, and women want you but they can find a thousand different reasons to run away. Like hunting or fishing you have to be patient but know when it's time to act, and always persistent .
Talk to stranger females and ask them direct questions to dispel "the mystery" of being a woman. Men could understand, if they made an effort to find out. Women you don't know are a better place to start - because they are bamboozled to. Life is not working out how feminism said it would, despite legal changes.
@@stephanypistachio I appreciate your thoughtful response. To me it's quite amazing that nature would allocate the responsibilities for reproduction so unequally! Men are involved, but women are committed. Just look at the criteria on dating profiles. Men: she has looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A, and we're good to go: Women: I've seen lists of literally 40 to 50 criteria. Men are forced to restrict their choices because of resource limitations. A guy with the goods can collect literally hundreds of women: the Bible in Kings 11:3 says that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. How he had time and energy to run a kingdom is a mystery. A Darwinian win is different for a man than for a woman. If a man mates with a superior female, his offspring are better than he: a win. If he mates with an inferior woman, the offspring are better than her. A win. If a woman mates with a superior male, her offspring are better than her: a win. Mating with an inferior male results in her raising offspring that are inferior to her, a Darwinian no-no. I wish all the best for you and yours, and I welcome any counterpoints :-)
You're wrong. The difference is in what defines a woman as "a winner" and what defines a man as "a winner". Men require substantially less from women than women require from men. So, to men, most women are winners. To women, VERY few men are winners. So sure. You're right. Ugly women probably have it the hardest, and successful men probably have it the easiest. But average and above average women dominate the sexual market place as unassailed victors. They just *feel* like they're losing, because they can only get dick (not commitment) from the male 9s and 10s, but ALL the 4s, 5s, 6s, and 7s want them, still, even if they are just a 4-5.
@@reedschrichte800 I completely disagree with many of your points, coming from a woman. I have firsthand experienced the immense criteria men have for women. This topic requires a huge amount of empathy and ability to notice subconsious criteria that man have instilled in women for decades. Your point about how men only want "looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A" is really untrue. Sure, your standards may be just that, but as a women I have seen firsthand the disgusting and objectifying ways men have talked about women. They put women into categories of whether or not they would date them. Of course, it might be hard for you to imagine such a world that men have created to put women down because they are not secure within themselves. And to an extent, I do agree with the fact that large criteria lists that women have made can be intimidating and unfair to men, and that is why every list I see are max 10 criteria and never 40 to 50 like you stated. It might seem confusing why women have generally more criteria then men, but you fail to notice why. Because of the natural instinct of many men, they many times crave sexual desires more than relationships built on trust and value. You even showed this yourself! Notice how your generalized criteria for men is ALL based off superficials like looks and anything else that strengthens the mans sexual intent. When looking at womens criteria, notice how minimum 50% of the criteria is based off personality values such as the ability to make them laugh, trust, and being secure in your masculinity. So, thats why you notice more criteria in women, because they add a personality section while men, (and you proved this yourself at the start of your argument), think with their genitals :) So please dont get discouraged by women's criteria! Trust me, it really doesnt take much to be a good person! do this, and your halfway through the generalized criteria you so often get discouraged by. Hope this helped! Im open to an argument
@@ishie24 I really appreciate your perspective. I enjoy sharing points of view like this. At my age and stage of life, I'm above the fray and have a pretty good objective view of the field... and I have 2 daughters :-) The biological fact is that Nature has allocated the responsibility for reproduction in a very lopsided manner between the males and females: the biological burden falls almost entirely upon the female. Look at what happens with all higher mammals: the males fight it out to determine who is the top dog, and that male mates with all the females. That insures that the best genes are propagated for the future of the species. Women are absolutely programmed with this same selection criteria. It is their Darwinian responsibility. And yes I have actually counted 40 female criteria: not common, but their lists are much longer than men's. Male criteria are far more simple, and yes superficial, and I agree that men can be real pigs 🙂 I enjoy examining male-female dynamics, and in the end I'm on your side, so feel free to come back with your observations and yes even frustrations 🙂 All the best to you!
So this is like when a job posting has artificially high qualifications/experience (i.e. 2+ years in related field, Masters degree...) but is not necessarily required to excel at the job. What's more important is that you show up to the job interview and effectively communicate what attributes you are bringing to the table.
the employer (woman) will agree to give the employee (man) a job (marriage). however no one is immune to getting fired. she will become bored 7 years later, file for divorce, and take the money, house and kids. RIP married guys.
I don't think that is the angle here. This is for men to solve by understanding how women today, mate and to break the two misconceptions about their mating practices strongly held by us.
@@jirensentry7609my writing is poor. I am saying what you are saying . We project our thought processes on to them. Then we are resentful if they don’t act how we think they should.
As a guy who was told at an early age that "women will love you when you're older", and having spent the last 30-odd years failing to even get a second date, I've learned to not pursue women or sex. Whenever I consider it, I end up feeling depressed and empty. It's pretty clear that whatever I have to offer is, in fact, not valued - so for my own wellbeing I have decided to just focus on myself and not pursue any sort of relationship. I'm going to let women pursue whomever they want, and I'm just going to leave them to it and do what makes me happy. It's better for everyone.
I totally get this. Freud asked, "What Does a woman want?" Experience has told me that it ain't me. I came to understand I was de- selected. So what 's the trick? Take the pain. Life ain't fair. Do somethin' else.
Apparently, I was a Chad but really never knew it deep down. I never needed to approach, I always got approached and those were the women from whom I chose to have relationships with. I was never without women admirers but somehow thought I was not doing as well as most men, mostly because they always bragged about getting "multiple" women. I was never interested in having multiple women because it seemed like it took a lot of time, money and energy and I was loyal and had hobbies I liked better. Instead I stuck with one woman for 18 years, one for 12 and one for 15 and I never cheated. As someone who has seen some success in this area I can tell you that aside from being a fleeting ego boost, being attractive to women has only led me to temporary, short-lived, happiness while involved with them. I'm out of the game permanently now and just focusing on making myself happy as I am. It's a huge struggle and I think I''m very far behind a lot of men on that because of my early success with women. My point is that the grass is not greener where I was and am now. I think we should be thankful for the opportunity of life and commit to making the best of the cards we are dealt.
I’m there right now. I’m 35. Fairly well established and working on a career and financial upgrade that should definitely be attainable. I look the best I ever have body building the last two years with no reason to stop. I dated/hooked up with several women in my 20’s. A lot of them were pulling some bs and my now former career was a hinderance. Now thing are so bad I can’t get a date. Been approached by six attractive women in the last year. 2 were married, 2 engaged, and 2 crazies that went back to abusive ex’s. Ridiculous. I think most of them don’t want to make a choice.
Yes.. this has caused me to become more hesitant about seeking a mate. Especially in todays age of social media and vast attention from other men, huge disadvantage to men and modern dating
@@AbletonLiveTechs yup… i want an actual relationship and not just a bunch of hookups. Honestly not really sure how to go about it anymore even while working to be higher status.
@@joshweatherly8715 We are all on the same boat. Especially for me being christian I see it more spiritually. IMO woman have been decieved again by the apple 🍎 📲
@@joshweatherly8715 Yea man good luck!! Stick to christ only he can give you peace. Also invest in boxed wine and cat food 😂 Mass females soon alcholics and pet moms
Gents... be your best self. Working on yourself is a worthwhile lifetime goal and by that I mean the value is in the constant journey. Either she sees the value and appreciates it or she does not. Don't lose daily focus on consistent improvement of yourself. Always... ALWAYS be ready to walk away and if she threatens to leave.....don't give her the option, instead show her the door and require that she utilize that door. Women may thrive on game playing but men do not. Do both of you a favor and help her to initiate her new chapter in finding someone else and free up the spot so that you can find someone who wants to be with you. Everyone wins. If you do not allow her to manipulate you, then she will respect you and YOU will respect yourself. She may leave you specifically because she cannot manipulate you and she happens to want to be with someone that she can manipulate. Its a good thing for her to go. Long story short.... live your life in such a way that you are focused on yourself and you present to the world and yourself as a person deserving of respect. DO NOT tie yourself into knots trying to please her. If you have to do that then she will not be pleased no matter what you do but she might ring you for every drop of benefit she thinks she can get out of you before monkey branching to a new victim. Don't be a victim.
As a professional musician I pull them easily, even now in my 50s. I have learned to keep it brief and move on. When they discover what a sweetheart I actually am, not an aloof rock god, their attraction usually dies.
Very insightful information Dr. Taraban, yes many times a formula is just that a formula ,it does not guaranteed outcome. As we all progress in the world the list keeps growing and the demands get higher. Its like decades ago when ordering breakfast the options were regular coffee or decaf that is far different today and it has permeated in others areas of society. Thanks for all the great information and content you make for us all in this wonderful channel of yours!
Great comment. As time goes by we get bombarded by more and more options, making choice more difficult and feeling of regret much higher. Thank you for your insights.
Walking away is men's superpower. Not only is it an act that women can't control, it is also extremely damaging in that it's the ultimate rejection which they can't handle. My girl and I were discussing the rocky relationships that we could see amongst our friends. In that context I simply stated that I'd walk away from it all, not engage. This was a bombshell to her, she interpreted this as a major threat to her/us - whereas all I was doing was highlighting a hypothetical example. Oh dear, she was spinning out of control and imagining it to be a reality, she just couldn't process it. Jesus.
I think it boils down to gender differences in how men and women interpret and resolve issues. Generally, when conflict arises, men prefer to retreat into their safe space to prevent further escalation whereas women prefer to engage and discuss over it in order to find solutions. I think your girl wasn’t interpreting your response as a rejection to her as a person; perhaps, she interpreted your walking away as disinterest in not willing to resolve potential relationship issues that may occur in the future. This may imply insecurity in the relationship both of you share. Since she values the relationship she shares with you, it is understandable that it may have invoked feelings of anxiety (although it is a hypothetical situation in a certain context, it may happen in reality). You just need to reassure her that no matter the differences in how both of you respond to conflicts, there will be an amiable solution for the both of you. Perhaps, you may feel puzzled over how women think. Generally, women tend to possess a more emotional mindset and men tend to possess a more logical mindset. Of course, I’m making general assumptions although it seems that your girl may fit into this assumption.
Tinder only works when you swipe left. If you only swipe right, then you don't establish a preference and thus get the bottom of the barrel. @@melenico4512
This was a phenomenal video. Very thorough and pragmatic breakdown with real life examples. Keep doing what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. Great watch 👍🏾
A thousand percent true. Im in the upper end of men. You said something today that is exactly why ive thrown in the towel on this bullshit game. You can have the money, the body, the game, but if you say that one thing wrong, you get completely blown out of the game. I've learned to use my charm and whittiness to make make up for the other areas of less attractiveness, but that comes at a price of saying the wrong thing sometimes. Theres so many hurdles ive absolutely just given up.
But what he preach in this video is opposite 😅he literally said that even loosing half of your stuff in divorce court you benefit somehow 😂😂😂😂. The video is very naive
Good video. Part of the original premise of pickup (which I started following when I was around 16 or 17 in 2002-2003) is that the social preconditions foisted upon us for access to women sexually are not as important as most men believe. And I've definitely found this to be true. A lot of men waste their lives away chasing money and status while ignoring women's emotional and psychological desires and think everything will just pan out. To understand a woman deeply and seduce her is infinitely more satisfying than to make a simple barter like most men do.
You;re making women out to be incredibly complex and deep, and they're not. Not even intelligent ones. They're even more shallow than guys are. Make plenty of money and have an image that makes them think other women are jealous when they're seen with you. That's it.
I agree with this. Probably the most important thing about attracting women is masculinity, making them feel comfortable with you to the point where they’re sharing personal information and freely touching you. Confidence that’s casual… banter/humor and flirting. But, the bottom line in order to get them to fall in love quickly, is you have to be able to give them a penetration orgasm by understanding how and what puts them over the edge during the act. That oxytocin rules their minds on burning desire. In order to get to that, you have to make them feel safe on a lot of levels… freedom from judgement, humor, sharing your thoughts and experiences while also listening to them… eye contact, and innuendo-flirting. Your money, job and cars won’t get you any burning desire… just opportunity.
My observation is that most men are clueless. My parents met on a blind date while both were away at uni. My mother had to ask her friend to ask her boyfriend to encourage my dad to ask my mom on a second date. After 9 months of dating, my mother said to my dad "If this isn't heading towards marriage, I'll need to start dating other men". He asked her then and there. My father admitted he never once thought my mother would ever consider marrying him as she came from a well to do family and he came from a poor one. But my mom always said he was a better man than any she knew from her hometown. But even my grandmother had to push. She met my grandfather at a party. He was shy. She told him "You should ask me to dance," so he did. After she said "Are you not going to ask me out on a date?" Grandfather did so. After a number of months she asked "When are you planning to ask me to marry you?" He died before I was born so I don't know what he thought but he was a very handsome man, very intelligent, but from a poor family. Moral of the story. Men, don't underestimate yourself. Women probably grade you better than you think they do. And women, if you find a man you want, forget the subtle hints and hit him with a clue-by-four. It's the only way men know what women actually want.
Examples refer to past times. Quite a very different environment. Still what this anecdotal stories show is the fact that : 1. It is women, not men, the ones who chose 2. Flirting does not come natural to men, precisely because flirting as we mean it is not a natural human behavior.
The only payoff of hypergamy is that you are finally free from the claws of someone who sucked your soul dry while she lived under your roof. I’m not accepting the “it is just in their nature”, thereby excusing them from this innate behaviour. I’m still not French-kissing a scorpion. It’s a scorpion.
You're going down a dangerous path. Understand women, don't hate them. They are the way they are for a reason, and you can't dislike them for their innate characteristics. Understand them so you can anticipate their next move and stay ahead of them, and keep your sanity intact
I'm in the top 10% and I can agree, the juice is NOT worth the squeeze. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life, there is much less prosperity when you have a woman in your life.
It’s not a fear of scarcity. It the fact that a sub human with a 12 year old mentality will never take my assets from my life’s work because they can with the slanted divorce laws. Only a fool would take such a risk. 🤡
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
yea struggle, work your ass off 20 years to build up a career, high salary, get jacked, become the top 10%.. only to get something she has been handing over for free to clowns each night..
It can be very disheartening receiving this information for men. It kind of reminds me of the quote "Men today have to work 5 times harder than their grandfather had to, for a women that is 20 times worse than his grandmother." So men are pretty much competing for a modern women who is getting worse with time. Sounds like a raw deal to me.
Our closest genetic relatives the chimpanzees with whom we share 99% of our DNA have a system whereby males compete for sexual access to females. It's a winner take all strategy, devised by mother nature. And it has resulted (several million years on) in humans. Human culture has devised ways to minimize this effect but this tendency is still very strong within us and emerges in certain situations eg. when men have a need to prove status, they don't do it by open physical conflict but by having the most sexually-desirable women, ie. women of childbearing age, even if they have no intention of having children with her. Once she gets to 30 she is replaced by 'this year's model'. Here women are used as status signifiers to cement a man's position with other men. It actually has nothing to do with the woman herself or the man's emotional needs outside of perceived status. No good chasing the status and then finding out you have the love and approval of other men but not that of a good woman. And the system today pits all men against all other men as societal norms break down BUT it's still better than having to physically fight off other men all day every day to stop them having sex with your females, isn't it?
Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
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You should pin this comment. Great video Orion.
Sorry Dr, from what u said then what's the point, I'm serious what's the point the juice really isn't worth the squeeze
Man you are all wrong. Women think about all this things when they are not sure if you are their type. It is all simple. When you meet a proper woman nothing is a problem
ok , this might be contradictory but hypergamy DOESNT exist..
what we call as hypergamy is something we allow women to pursue in todays society. think about the past any era in history, if a women goes after top guy, she can have his baby but he is not going to share resources unless courts make him, disguised as child welfare . its an artificial rule contrary to nature. think deeply. she becomes single mom and child has less life expectancy without father in past. she be abused too. its the risk she takes meanwhile regular men having no lineage at all. nature is balanced. its just BEHAVIOURAL ECONOMICS.
Running behind hypergamy may work for some dudes, but for the majority of normal men, it's not worth it. We must also consider how women's standards are getting more ridiculous every week while they offer little to nothing.
And men need to realize that walking away from someone who hasn’t selected you is the absolute BEST you can do for yourself.
I would say select or not select organically be a person ready to walk away.
Men need to realize that no one wants us.
Another issue is even if you are their best option they don't believe it. They're always one coworker or dm away from their soul mate.
Exactly the same applies to women.
Not just today but also tomorrow when she comes back knocking at your door after she was used and abused by her chosen one (S), don't accept sloppy seconds.
Experienced divorce attorney here. If you are a young guy, focus like a laser on becoming the very best version of yourself. Do the things that bring you joy. Don’t pursue women. Attract them. Depending on your jurisdiction, do NOT get married without a valid prenup. Stay safe out there!
Im 63 and i constantly see attractive women with drunks, Criminals, men that have very little money. But they CONNECT. And are masters at TALKING. Forget the status myth. Makes too much sense that women want a nice guy thats going somewhere. Women will THINK the opposite. Its Emotion. Its Connection.
Thank you for the wise words sir.
@@michael-hw1uv I'm 59 and I don't see attractive women with drunks, criminals or poor men. Where do you live???
@@itzakehrenberg3449 Think he's talking about the men who are "bad boys" that the women go after. You really can't make a simple conclusion since women are all over the place in their preferences. It's a stupid game at the end of the day.
Prenup!
If you chase only butterflies, they will fly away but if you put effort in making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come flying by themselves, and even if they don't come, you'll still have a beautiful garden.
That's awesome!
And then you flamethrower the butterflies, because in a garden this majestic they are considered "pests"
True…. But butterflies 🦋 still eat your tomatoes and cabbage..,
Butterflies are beautiful and distracting 😂
@@ryanliteman6267 this still fits perfectly with the analogy
From my own life experience what he’s saying is true. And it’s sad. For 30 years, I worked in the field of special events (large wedding parties, art openings, etc.. all sorts of social gatherings). At all these events of say 100 people or more, I consistently saw the women lining up to try and talk to the same 2 men in the room. The other single men, would be almost completely ignored.
At the times I engaged and chatted with a group of women standing in their own group, i generally found they were all talking about those same two men, and asking each other how they might get introduced to those same 2 men.
An entire event-space full of other men would be standing around like wallflowers, almost completely ignored. Those men got no play whatsoever.
This always shocked me. And before I learned all this new information, I would ask myself, “Are they really this transparent,.. this shallow?” And I concluded that yes, they were.
@@khepri906 who is two men right there?
@@yuurtrash probably some local rich guys or tabloid celebrities
You missed the point, you don’t want to be those two men. The point is you don’t want any of those women who want those two men. Be your true self, quit worrying about what women want and just be genuine. The right woman will come along. As long as your genuine self isn’t a self absorbed narcissist lol.
@@yuurtrashI meant the above comment to be toward you, not to the original comment
BREAKING NEWS: The evolutionary choosers choose carefully😂
This was me! Got a graduate degree, six pack and six figures by 25, but still couldn't land a woman. Finally found someone who seemed to appreciate how awesome I was, but it turns out she was a narcissist. I didn't know what that meant back then. Now I'm divorced and broke and starting over at 40. Let me be your cautionary tale young men, watch this channel and learn to vet women before you let them come stay on your island
All The Best, brother🔥
I’m going to give you some free advice, you are free to take or leave it: “appreciate how awesome I was” is the kind of thinking you need to bury. Your ex may have been a narcissist. Not trying to offend, but I would guess there were two narcissists in that relationship. You sound like you are fighting back from a hard landing. Good luck to you. Your path will be easier if you don’t come across as a narcissist.
@@adamesd3699 great point, I definitely need to be careful the way I say it. Here I was going more for hyperbole to match the video's lesson -- like hey, I've got a six pack and six figures, everything the women say they want, but no one gave me the time of day for some unknown reason (which we learned in the video). But when I linked up to my narcissist and she was love bombing me it felt as though I was her superhero and was the best guy since sliced bread. Finally all my workouts and investments were paying off. 🙂
I appreciate you checking me so I could introspect on this
@@chelsy2255 I think perhaps his advice didn't land well with you because it was directed towards me. Sorry it seems to have upset you.
Your issue was you weren't attractive enough (at least facially) which made you an easy target for this so called narcissist.
The more I learn about dating, the more impossible it seems.
😂
It's not as hard as it seems. It just takes one or more teachers who can simplify it for you. That's what you and all men need.
It's not impossible. If you can accept being with someone that is a close match for you, then try to make it work. After all if you're a close match then it probably should work. But if they arent able to see it that way then that's on them and they arent going to be able to find what they want. Settle with someone that will settle for you. It's humbling.
Leave the country and it will be very possible.
They're making it sound complicated, but really this stuff is obvious if you're thinking about it at all. Sure, feminism muddies the water, but ultimately, if you're not exceptionally short, exceptionally ugly or exceptionally poor, all you really gotta do is be nice, be confident, be _firm,_ and have standards.
The fact is that EVERY aspect of life, every single one, has a million little things to navigate. If your parents didn't prepare you in any way, if you don't have life experience, then everything will be a confusing challenge, from ordering food at the McDonald's counter to picking up packages at the post office.
Chasing women didn't bring any good to anyone, it can just put you in misery. But when they start chasing and gravitating towards you, you need to know how to impress them even more (I recommend reading First date playbook: A step by step guide to a great start. You will have some tricks up your sleeve).
Just chasing isn't the point the physical and mental bonding is . If you are choosing women that make you work hard for it. They are using you. Jeez.. the problem is you say one thing and do another . You say you don't like these women who owns it cheap online or who where tight clothing or or basically want you to spend all your money on them. These women are using you and they'll keep using you and have 10 little guys in the backdrop.
If you go for someone who isn't glamorous you're more likely to get a decent person with values. These values will lead her to cherish you as a man and the provider , possible father and obviously a decent husband.
Fuck that. If I cant be authentic then it aint worth it.
Bingo One I really liked in hind sight, just got further away the harder i 'tried'.
where could i find first date playbook? who’s the author?
My 2 cents. Don't try to dive too deep into the pool of women's thoughts. Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving. Don't spend too much time, money, or energy trying to get or keep a woman.
Be whoever you are and be ok with her leaving.
Brother, the best advice ever.
Gracias
Best answer!
Exatly, be okay with women making their decisions while you make your own. If they don't find you attractive coz you are ugly, fat, short, a race she doesn't like, broke or whatever other reason fair enough.
But you are also free to decide whether or not to approach them or spend any time with them.
Thats something an unmarried dude would say. Once u have kids ull change ur tune
@@stephencapellan2312 I'm married and I have kids (adult children). I've said as much to my sons.
From my experience there are two types of Hypergamy.
Looks Hypergamy
Financial Hypergamy.
Obviously a Woman would prefer a Man who has both Looks and Finances.
If you fit her financial Hypergamy but she doesn’t find you se*ually attractive, she will step out on you from time to time with someone who does, usually an ex boyfriend.
If you fit her looks Hypergamy but she doesn’t feel you could provide for a family or lifestyle, she will still give you se*ual access to her but she will not commit to you and she will look for someone who can take care of her financially. She will always keep contact with you if you stay looking good and will reach out from time to time to enjoy a good romp, but she won’t commit to you!
So the good looking guy wins because no strings attached sex.
Tbh the last deal does not need to be that bad. Basicly you are describing the chads, if I know she will not commit but will bang I can still do my own thing outside of her. Thats actually not a bad deal, the only one who is losing is the dude she is so called committing to. They are the only one who lose, sex is a reward from a males perspective.
I told this girl, why would I commit and date you for real when you gave it out for free? She did not know what to anwser. Dumped her after she gave other stupid anwsers and now she wants to meet up to talk lol.
Women dual mating strategy is (1) breaking rules for alpfas; and (2) making rules for betas. Being an alpha or a beta is your call cuz it's a mindset.
Genetics and provision.......
Pool boy satisfies her genetic hypergamy.....the millionaire who owns the pool satisfies her provision hypergamy. The pool boy is very temporary and she will likely cash out of the millionaire eventually.
I'm 63 and chose to never marry. I'm well educated, over 6 feet tall, earned over six figues for decades and owned my own company. I can speak to anyone, anywhere at any time.
However, I spent 10-12 hours per day making deals, playing politics and resolving issues.
I was NOT willing to play the sort of games most women insist upon. It was not worth my time.
I did meet and date some fascinating women. I never married because living up to their expectations was exhausting.
I wanted someone I could build with, not for. I am NOT a human-shaped ATM and refused to play that part.
I've now retired and live alone on my boat.. now there's a happy ending for you.
Good job man.
@@Just_a_Lad Society end though
@@johngalt6838 who cares, you can't fix it, live your life.
Date whoever you want especially since you are established. Don’t take anyone seriously, but only to meet your wants.
Bro, head to the phillpines and date. Then come back home, and repeat. You'll have the best of both worlds.
And the best way to lose everything you worked so hard for…hypergamy. A whole industry worth over $50 billion a year in the US has grown up around it. Lawyers, accountants, marriage counselors, domestic violence “professionals”, etc.
Stay single, stay solvent.
Indeed the risk is unacceptable for me
Like Aaron Clarey keeps saying: "Most woman generally don't like most men."
So if you're working from that supposition, everything that's been happening in the last twenty years starts to make sense.
s/o cappy. that guy is a legend. as he says, "do not get married".
The reverse is also true tho.
If it wasn't for sex (and in some cases for parenthood), most men would not see a reason to EVER interact with women.
I like him but overall he's a nihilist. Watch him sparingly if you want to keep a positive attitude towards life.
A lot of the men that find women "confusing" or "impossible to understand" are typically unwilling to accept certain realities about women. If you're fed false axioms and suppositions about women all your life, of course women would seem confusing or impossible to understand when little of their behavior actually logically follows from those axioms. It's only when you accept things about women -- things that a lot of guys don't want to accept -- that women start making more sense and are no more "complicated" than men.
W0men are now *independent.* As in, they don't *need* a man to survive. They work and can survive on their own. So .. what does a man bring to *their* table? Sex. So, w0men are *only* interested in men they (sexually) *want.*
Don't be put off by the challenge of self-improvement. Being a high-value man isn't just about attracting women, it’s about cultivating habits that benefit you personally. It's understandable to feel frustrated, but don't let resentment stop you. Self-discipline and daily growth give you a mental toughness that's invaluable. What’s more, this journey can even lead you to a supportive, high-value woman, making it even more rewarding. It’s not about being in the 'top 10%,' it's about becoming the best version of yourself.
You get it. This is what I've done and I've happily had 80% of my adulthood filled with companionship and love with a woman who gets to witness me grow and age like wine. If your woman can witness your ever-improving situation - she'll want a ticket to ride that train and keep riding and riding and.... 😉
EXACTLY
@@c1s1125 sometimes....she can leave at any setback. Avoid long term and contracts.
@@c1s1125 you got it. I wish all men could do that!! Congratulations!!!
@@c1s1125 improving yourself for a woman is a fools errand, since women will always look for the bigger better deal and leave you when she can
NEEDING someone makes you weak and dependent, KNOWING yourself and making yourself your priority and living a life that is respectful of you and your purpose and goals makes you high value.
@@espada9 it makes you Human. Lying to yourself also makes you human.
Yes!
The more you let them know you 'need them', the less they'll desire you. You have to prove you know your worth and you existed before them and will after.
Love your practical and intuitive approach.
I am a retired man who was never married, lived with a woman, or had any children. I am not rich; however, I live comfortably on my own terms. I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap! I will emphasize to all the younger men that whatever you can provide will NEVER BE ENOUGH - make the right choices!
Even though I'm in my mid 30s I'm heading your way, I just don't need the drama and the stress. Planning to buy myself a house near the sea this year and live my life there.
" I am happy that I was never involved in the hypergamy trap!" unfortunatelly we ALL are involved for example by taxes (they want more and more so they can even push a law working with simps to rob others and give it to them (females). calculate whos paying taxes and who is taking most benefits from those taxes and filter it by gender
its like black and white
they are better in manipulation so they manipulate system into benefiting them robbery
As an experienced divorce attorney who handles high asset divorces, you are correct. Whatever you can provide to most women will never be enough. I have seen cases where multi millionaire entrepreneurs give the wife an incredible lifestyle, but she is “not happy” and files for a no fault divorce. There are a few exceptions but they are rare.
This isn't a good position. You've really lived for nothing. This is the dead end way.
Absolutely.
100% of men can't become the top 10% of men. The math ain't mathing
or you could just be you and see who likes it?
its like complaining why does everyone like skinny jeans when in reality just there's a crowd that just really likes and other baggy jeans
my ex wouldn't be seen as conveniently attractive but he was sure as heck cute to me
Thanks!
It is a bitter pill, yes. If I had known as a young man how this all actually worked, I would have never pursued women at all. The pursuit of women has cost me more than any other activity in life. I, like so many men, fell prey to the gaslighting that society fed me that any barrier that I might perceive was something I could overcome. The analogy that I call forward is having every person of influence in your life telling you that even though you are 5' 4" tall, the only thing standing between you and a career in the NBA is cultivating a positive attitude. The truth is bitter, but it is not as cruel as the alternative of magical thinking.
Big business benefits when you buy gifts, presents & drinks for a women who friend zoned you the moment she met you. Government benefits through taxes. It’s all a big game bro. That’s why the black pill is “toxic” and the “blue pilled” way of thinking is the societal norm.
@@Buddyboyo7 Just stand up straight, take a shower, have confidence and women will be all over you. If you fail, try, try, try again.
Make sure you pay as much tax in the mean time.
Same. I am know on disability. I will not work in an economony, which I am not benefiting form.
Being a bad boy will overcome any height problems, I guarantee you. Can't count how many babes I've seen with shorter guys, as long as they look like li'l Wayne wanna-be's, everything her Dad doesn't want her to date. Wear a baseball cap backward, let your pants sag, say stupid things and give the impression you think you're being a wise-ass, clever & funny. Tell her car-jacking stories, and joke about burning civilization down. She'll want to 'fix' you - eventually - but first she just wants to enjoy being seen with you. Women turn shit-for brains for the bad boy.
@@Subhumanoid_don't forget a haircut and respecting women
I'll share my story about hypergamy. I've grown disgusted because of it due to women hiding their existing relationship. Women will walk up, talk until they like me, and then start flirting with me. When I show I am not interested and they finally take the hint, I will then hear them talking with another women about their existing boyfriend. Apparently deception and Infidelity, as I see it, are perfectly acceptable to certain women as long as they benefit.
I believe once you the see the true nature of what women are capable of, you can never go back. I’ve been with both married women and women in LTRs. If her needs aren’t met, she’ll meet up with a dude on the side and the boyfriend/husband will never find out.
Brutal.
I've never met a truly "single" woman in my adult life. He might not give her a title but someone is *filling a void* in her life. Just understand it's all in the game and it's in their nature to monkey branch. It's written in their firmware.
Ive met a few man from the top of the food chain and them are disgusted and dont trust MOST OF THE FEMALES they met. And those guys used to fuck many. But the more their in the game, the more they disgust.
Briffault’s law
you will always find out, sometimes sooner sometimes later.
You can clearly see the hints when they change behaviour and the fact that we are living in a world where every human is on the phone all the time its hard to hide. If they have to hide something from you on their phone you will clearly notice
I love how you get your message across, clean and to the point without controversy.
Revandles forbidden books (thank me later)
I checked this site because of this comment and bought a book, so far it's great thank you very much, I hope I will overcome my fear of women
Can u provide download link here?
@@vipulbornare34 I can't just type Revandles on google or youtube you will find it for sure.
As someone who sucked with women in my 20s but still worked on my body and career, now that I'm in my 30s and get lots of attention from women i refuse to settle down because i worked my a$$ off to get where i am now just so a women who wouldn't look my way in my 20s can benefit from me, fk that, i tell young men all the time to work on themselves and not focus on women at all
why not get over that resentment and enjoy the spoils of your success?
If they weren't ride or die chicks during your grind, then they don't deserve you during your prime.
@@stevejhkhfda he is, by not settling.
any tips for a 27 old man ?
Is 27 old?
A woman will quickly forget everything you have done for her, but she will NEVER forget everything you have not done for her.
Unfortunately these are the things that revolve around her menstrual cycle.
Because wounds leave scars but orgasms quickly fade. It’s a sad truth that really good things do not leave permanent marks on a person, but really bad things often do.
Exactly Mundo!
@@eurosalamanderof course threats to your central nervous system symbolize potential death. Rewards only symbolize potential increased happiness but doesn’t ensure life.
Remember. Never in the tens of thousands of years on the history of humanity have women ever stopped, contemplated and empathised male suffering.
Airline pilot, make $450-$500K a year, working 12 days a month... drive a new Porsche 911, 6'0 tall, 52 and fit... and I still struggle to get the quality of women I want... yes, occasionally I do get them, but it's A LOT of work and failure upon failure ... numbers game.
But you’re 52 man. Who are you competing for? Are you muscular fit or just not fat fit?
Should be super easy in a poorer country. Pretty sure you'd need vajine repellent if you went to a hotel bar in a Latin American country in that sweet flight jacket uniform, especially if you're European ancestry.
Alot of ppl would love to be where you are... At least you're enjoying life
@@Aright231 Agreed - this bloke is probably deluded and thinks he's younger than what he is.
You have to be joking brother.
Even if you become a high value man, the juice is not worth the squeeze. One of the most uncomfortable things to accept is that women are not worth it, even if you are attractive. Put yourself first fellas, let go of the idea of some dream woman who you need.
You are absolutely right
Well what if that woman gave you a son? Would that be worth it? She has to do some squeesing to!
👶
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
@@sigurdopheim3626
Then she'll want child support.
Dig that saying ay
Yes, exactly.
If the female side of selection is that a man is always at risk of being left by her, then there's little to no motivation for him to be involved with a modern woman, who can not manage to value loyalty.
Men are learning.
The problem is that what they are learning is turning them from females for good.
Better to invest that time in a career.
It does matter,woman can squeeze 18yrs of resources out of 1 night.
And there will always be more men for women to swindle.
They just don't care about us. They care about themselves and their children, once you understand this women are easy to deal with
For much of human history, women had no access to money or credit. They stayed married, not because they were loyal, but because they could not leave. They would starve. They had to put up with cheating husbands, abusive husbands and poor treatment. Now women can leave. While men seem to think women leave relationships willy nilly, that is far from the case. Most women will make many attempts to improve a relationship before leaving. Often men see the women's attempts to fix the relationship as nagging. Now you have to negotiate a relationship with a human that can support herself, so now she is going to want more than food and shelter. She is going to want a connection, sex, romance, communication, a shared work load in the home. It is more about being clear about what you want and offer and finding a person that wants the same thing as you.
The purpose of meeting a woman's hypergamous criteria is you have more choice in who you date, that's it. It doesn't mean you are guaranteed a girlfriend or that you can't get a girlfriend without those things. You can. It just dramatically improves your odds.
But more importantly it makes your life better as a man, which should be the ultimate goal here.
But does it make you happy? Essentially, you are grinding to meet someone's criteria, but do they meet yours? Things will change when men actively start playing hypergamy game as well.
@@00_UU there was a time in human history that this was happening for thousands of years. Be careful what you wish.
@@GeotouuotoeG be careful because? How is this bad for men?
@@00_UU because of patriarchy men did what they wanted so women were oppressed. Now it is men who feel a form of oppression which is also partly because men dominated the past. Tomorrow it will be men again then women to a never ending circle. Balance is a utopia. People are idiotic and shellfish organisms.
4:46 Dr. Orion you said "Hypergamy primarily benefits men."
Hypergamy primarily benefits THE 10% of men that reach that level.
Current hypergamy is devastating to the western society.
Good productive members of society men can not get good faithful wives and start and maintain families.
Women by their own choice prefer to be 304s and part of a harem of a 10% man (that can be a bad role model/criminal)
And we have many children brought up by single mothers (by choice!) and we know the statistics of how that is going.
I'll help you think. If you want to lift 200lbs. Your first day in the gym you find that you cannot lift that much. So, you set out to improve yourself. This is called self-improvement. So to overcome the barrier of hypergamy, men are motivated to improve themselves. Which benefits the man when he works to improve himself. Hpergamy benefits ALL men who try.
The prevalence of delusion of high self worth in western women (aka im 10, everyone beautiful), causes hypergamy to be devastating. Up to 1960s women instinctively knew whom can they get to force to commit in case of pregnancy - that was grounding the hypergamy. Now their hypergamy thanks to the birth control extends to the very top, way past upper tier of men the woman can get to commit.
@@peaceonearth8693 I get the general idea you are trying to tell but it is NOT 100% correct.
A lot of men that try develop mental illness.
Some want to take shortcuts (steroids for body or aggressive trading/crypto/gambling for the money part)
All these things can lead to catastrophic results.
Men are doing plastic surgery.
So current hypergamy does NOT benefit everyone that tries.
Women have always been hypergamous even in the “good ol’ days” but within reason.
That is why I am using the term “current” hypergamy.
It is out of control!
They side chicks
Some of those good productive men who can’t get wives or let alone sex…have a potential for turning violent for not getting their sexual needs met…and that’s a huge problem for society, young men that have nothing to lose and feeling disrespected by society…not a good look
You make outstanding points. Thank you. Men need to become indifferent to women. A woman who gets 5 looks an hour is confident and satisfied. Men need to understand that giving a look/attention has no reward. Women desire attention from specific men in their presence. It's a subtle reward game that men don't understand. The reward for her is your attention and nothing else. That says to her "I can have any man." That's all she cares about. Flirting for women is to get attention. If she has to be obvious about flirting the value of the attention is less. Rejecting a man's attention in a public place elevates her value/status even if she would like to engage in conversation with that man.
Men will not be happy with a woman that plays this game. They are in a loop and endorphins are enough. Better for men to not only become a protector/provider but to find a valuable woman. Women playing this game are not valuable. Valuable women do valuable things. Being what used to be called a slut for attention is not valuable.
Obviously, you don't know much about women.
Valuable women don't exist.
@@sypros5621wdym
I’m a middle aged man and from my experience there are no valuable women. If they do exist, they are rarer than rocking horse poo.
Starting a relationship with a good woman is extremely difficult, but once a foundation has been built, it's more about consistency and doesn't require the extreme expectations that many insinuate from talks like this. A good woman will make your life much better, the problem is, like there are only so many men in the top 10%, there are only so many good women and they're almost always taken by their late 20s, usually earlier.
It's a human problem, not strictly a female problem. This is where stoicism is so useful. Control what you can, be self-aware and improve what you reasonably can, and put yourself in places where you could meet someone. But know you can do everything right and never meet someone worth spending your life with. That's all a man can do. You have a high chance of dying alone and childless, so do something fulfilling with your time, doing that thing is also what gives your a greater shot at attracting a good woman.
The thing is,if you're a top 20%er then women are much more tolerant of your inconsistencies. It is impossible to be consistent all the time. When women hit the wall, it's why they become so tolerant and keep themselves around even through troubling times. They don't have much for options. But when you're just above average and you slip up in any aspect, the clock starts ticking rapidly and everyone else starts looking like a better option to them than you.
Saying that it's extremely difficult is still selling it short. You literally have less than 1 in a 1000 chance for that to happen and that's if you're pretty high up on the men list yourself. If not...just forget it.
@@HenrySomeone In spite of the way cokebottles frames his argument (which I found very persuasive), you do not end up with one chance at this. There are uncountable variables at work every single day, and each reasonable instance is a new chance.
shut up SIMP
"The juice is not worth the squeeze." This captures my sentiments towards women. Even if I meet the criteria most women have, they will make up more requirements and just give me a headache. I can get sex easily, but dealing with women for much more than that tends to be tiresome.
Exact thing I tell my friends but most don't get it. I'll add that even with sex, many aren't worth the hassle.
It's important to note that the prize for checking a laundry list of attractive traits is a modern woman.
It is only worth it if, and only if, you are becoming a better catch for yourself and only for yourself. You need to focus on you and I will tell any one, guy or gal, to do the same thing. No one gives guys anything.
Yup, you're better off just deciding in what ways you want to "grow" so that your growth is actually beneficial to yourself, instead of trying to "grow" to attract women and hope that as a byproduct you might get some personal benefit from such growth.
@@robertsteinbach7325 Agreed. Live for yourself and not for women.
The problem I have with accepting "grind to be top 10% men" idea is that if it's not sustainable for the majority of the society, then I can't treat it as if it were. That's why I think I'd rather forego the grind than do that, or meet a woman with low hypergamous drive - they do exist, but ironically obviously they're not to be found where hypergamous women do gather (clubs, dating apps, etc...) and they mostly check out of the dating game early.
It just feels ridiculous to me because only 10% can be top 10%. Therefore, the strategy is not viable for the society. I can hear "why care about the society, just be top 10%", but that's just not gonna work coz it's gonna result in say 30% of men trying to be 10%. It's gonna keep making people unhappy, both men and women 😊
Counterpoint, women are goofy. That "top %10" is totally contextual. They really have no clue what they want most of the time. Just be the best version of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Good luck bro 👍
Yeah people have no basic logic
This is where the slightly autistic male brain reaches it's limits. Attraction is not a math equation. Women aren't comparing stats (they're also not comparing bank accounts; at least the sane ones are not.)
Women want security, so they compare you're ability to provide security to that of the next man. Just as you are comfortable dating a "pretty enough" woman. A woman is comfortable (and content) dating a "secure enough" man. You don't have to be in the top10%, no matter how many gold digger horror stories you've heard. But 10% is a good goal to strive for nonetheless. Just don't get obsessed. Again, this is like a woman obsessed with looking like an instagram model, because she thinks this is the only way for her man to stay loyal. Then you have women just giving up on looking decent at all, because "they don't want to compete"....
Don't fall victim to this deluded mindset. Compete, but don't obsess. Life is balance.
Good luck
@@rocstarang5747 right look the tinder swindler....
Non hypergamous women = unattractive. That's the trade-off. No thank you.
I never realized men had so many challenges dating women. This has been an eye opener.
Me neither. It's not a world I recognise.
you have lost at birth if your not 6ft
@@jokersshs it’s 6”3 and jacked and posesses a square jaw and a thick wallet
he's exagerating , fucking a girl isnt that much a challenge. Not all girls are "hypergamous" or have and endless list of silly requirements that a man must meet. It's mostly about developping genuine frendship
@@jokersshs self-defeating belief system.
Great info on female hypergamy. That’s why I quit the dating and mating strategy decades ago. Better to be informed and not participate at all then to get shafted by being naive
glad that you left mate
Great video. You gave a new look to how men are the ones who benefit from their own hard work on improving and being the best version of themselves. Men just need to realise that women will always be looking for something better, (ALWAYS) and in the end of their constant search this person doesn't exist. It reminds me of the joke/story 'Husband Super Store'
It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.
The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...
First floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they went.
Second floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
"Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder what's further up?"
Third floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women, "Very tempting."
But there was another floor so further up they went.
Fourth floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"
So up to the fifth floor they went.
Fifth floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are fucking impossible to please.
This video is like a winning lottery ticket and/or almost every sentence of it hits like a lightning bolt! Seriously, it's so accurate and useful that it should be made mandatory in schools wherever possible!!!! THIS _is_ the real deal ‘bout gender senzitization/awareness. Thank you very much and congratulations!
😂
In my opinion this is a blue pill video. Most men can't get to the top 5-10% club in women's term. You will be usually either too ugly or too short. It's now mostly about looks. Hypergamy don't benefit men. It's only benefiting the very top percentage of men. And that top percentage base only on women definition. You can be top 1% by men's definition, and they still prefer to date broken model, or handsome tall drug diller. Avoid being best version of yourself just to attract woman. This is usually genetic contest. Nothing about your passions, hobbies, intelligence or spirit.
As a 5'2 guy who would get brutally rejected and ridiculed because of his height, i can confidently say i stopped chasing women a while ago, i let them come to me now. Despite this supposed hurdle i have dated, and ALL of the girls i dated came onto me first, started talking to me first and showed interest first, no exceptions, and i decided that is exactly how I'll take things for the rest of my life, unless i somehow magically grow taller. I see myself as the" prize" not the other way around and yeah i want someone worthy to claim me, someone who will appreciate me for me, and if it doesn't happen it's fine, either way i get my happy ending.
You must have an extraordinarily nice face if women are approaching you at 5'2"??
@@bro918 Well, i always get compliments on it, but i doubt it's that great, if it is i don't see it. I hear the word "cute" a lot though...
@@Himmel23 Im not sure how much money you make, or how old you are, but im actually a little jealous... Im 2 inches taller than you and no woman has ever complimented my face lol. Yeah i dont think cute is necessarily a good thing coming from a woman... but id take that over nothing lol
@@bro918 Aw hell nah, I'm just 22 and broke lol. And no, cute isn't exactly what you want to hear indeed but hey, if it gets me girlfriends I'm all for it LMAO. Most of my relationships were before i turned 18 though so maybe there's something there? I wouldn't know. I'm currently going through college so maybe I'll have a decent condition in the future, who knows...
@@Himmel23 No. Your face must be exceptionally good if you get compliments. Men basically never get any compliments whatsoever. Let alone about physical attractiveness, or from women.
What women say they want, what women want and what they respond to are completely different things. They say they want a guy in touch with emotion but as soon as we show it, they naturally see us as weak. Stick to your guns gentlemen. Be yourself, if she doesn't like you, she's not the one
This isn't a woman thing, it's a people thing.
@@lumiere3619 no. It’s a vvoman thing.
i dont know how u people find it okey to group women like they all say the same thing and thing the same things
@@musashi542 - Because it’s easier than naming the seven or eight exceptions every single time.
It’s funny to me how We can sit down and watch a National Geographic documentary on the lifestyle or mating habits of the African elephant, the orangutan, or the meerkat, and say to ourselves, “see how they act? That’s very interesting…. We might even watch a special on the Pygmies in The jungles of South America and discuss what we’ve learned about them at the water cooler the next morning..
But as soon as we share observations about Western vvomen, we get some nut that stands up and says NAWALT! Well guess what … AWALT!
Perhaps instead of avoiding accountability in today’s society, vvomen should conduct them selves like adults, observe their behavior patterns and perhaps take some steps toward self improvement now and again. Men, Orcas and many other species do it all of the time. Why can’t vvomen? Why is their first line of defense, “NAWALT” or “Men do it too!”? 🤦♂️
PS. Now you know why those “u people” that you grouped together - do it. ;)
@@tamuman93 so we can group all men as ra**sts, wife beaters... and its alright according to you ?
Great content sir!
I totally agree with you! It's easy to think that being high-value automatically guarantees success, but it’s much more about understanding the deeper emotional and psychological dynamics. I’m curious, do you think there are any qualities men often overlook that could actually make them more attractive to women, aside from the obvious external traits or accomplishments?
Hi Dr. Orion. My name is Don. Thank you so much for the bitter pill to swallow, it was necessary and very encouraging. I'm on a path to learning how to be better with women and to be more confident in the process. Thanks for the video and I hope you have an amazing day.
Another thing to note about women’s sexual selection is that they select men that are relatively high value, as in, they pick the best men available to them at that time. If you get a room with ten women and ten men, nine of whom are trash and one man is average, those ten women will look at the average guy like he’s a Greek god. Conversely, change those ten men to where nine of them are exceptional men, and the other man is slightly better than the rest by 1 percent and he will be looked at as a Greek god, while the other men will literally be treated the same by women as below average men would. This is why I balk at this movement in the Manosphere to push for all men to get better because it doesn’t change the rules, it just makes it harder for men to compete.
Optimization algorithms: women.
I agree. I have said before you can be a "contextual alpha" based on your environment. I've always been a catch but there are friends I never go out with to talk to girls for example, because I know I can't compete lol! A man must know his limitations 😁
Finally someone who got the root of the problem.
Its impossible for everybody to be top 10%, because it is a position that by deafult, excludes 90%
@@rocstarang5747 You've said this before to whom? who are you and why are you quoting YOURSELF to a bunch of strangers? Have you written a book, or have a podcast or some level of competency above us? or are you an average dude too? LMAO ( if I have told men once, i have told them a thousand times, but they just wont listen! ha ha ha)
@@kimilsungthefirst6840 I am willing to 'sacrifice' my share of the women to those Nigerian princes! Have at 'em, boys!
Its all about pure, raw, phyisical attraction when it comes to hooking up with women. Period. I'm a former Chippendales dancer, so i saw this unfold, in real time, every single show. A lot of women were willing to throw away their relationship for one night with us. And they were the ring leaders in the debauchery. Not saying we were angels either, dont get me wrong. But there were many instances where we've had to stop it from happening. But that being said, this is an EXTREME case that less than 1% of men will ever experience.
Raw physical attraction gets you access but doesn't necessarily keep them around. Women are just as happy as men are to use a person as a sex object and throw them away once they get bored.
That said, I've had an alarming number of married women and women in relationships try to sleep with me. It makes me so sad for the men in their lives that I eventually developed a policy that I no longer sleep with women in relationships. I know how it makes that man feel and also I couldn't risk eventually taking some crazy guy's girl and having my house lit on fire.
@Joseph-C Yeah the women at these shows were freaking nuts. And every single time, there were multiple different women that were ready and willing to hook up. Anywhere. It Didn't matter if they were married, engaged, had a boyfriend, young, old, or their race. They all acted the same.
@@handsomeX Based on your photograph and name, I really believe you. No judgement.
@@handsomeX However, you must factor in countries that aren't as developed as Western countries. In my country we were once ranked as "The most beautiful people in the world". But due to our economics, women value security faaaaar more than the exterior of the man
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju and that's how it should be - security, reliability and trust. Comfortable Western life decayed all of those words in modern relationships. Bad relationship decisions of w3men are encouraged, while men are constantly portrayed as evil and st00pid on TV.
Yes, spot on as always. I have decided not to even bother with it anymore. It is all transactional anyway. I have decided to give my money to charities in alignment with my values.
Yes, it does fit with my personal experience. It's kinda frustrating to know this but I have been seeing this for years. Thanks for explaining it. The more I grow and achieve as a man, the less I feel obligated to prove myself to anyone, including women.
Good job!
8:13 The only “easy” women are the low value, problematic borderline/bipolar ones with daddy issues - or those needy/insecure/immature ones. Not worth it.
Worth it for a quick slam n scram.
False, if you are high value or position yourself as high value, some genuinely good women become "easy." They'll do things with you they wouldn't do with lesser men.
@@benscampers1818they're not good women then. But very few are
My man speaks FACTS!! Blessed to come across this channel... Huge LOVE & RESPECT from India. ❤️🇮🇳❤️
Unbelievable number of gems in this clip. I don't have time to call them out right now, but I will come back because I want to help highlight some parts that I had to learn the hard way, and also reinforce some of the the parts I really need to hear, absorb, and accept. Just wanted to drop a quick comment before I head to work to say thanks and help you in my small way by helping the algorithm get this message out there.
57, never married, never cared. I like what I do, I have friends, I live as I please. I figured I'd let my friends get married first, and see how it turned out for them. Almost to a one, the marriages disintegrated, leaving broken families, asymmetrical parental influence, etc. Live for your own interests, and if someone wants to join you on part of your journey, great. Stay true to your path.
The only thing worse than someone criticizing how you spend your time or money - is actually caring what they think.
True that
We are lacking something.
Well in fact, someone. We-need-Jesus
true.
And just buy hookers for sex. Women bring nothing else to the table anyway
Thanks for the video Dr. Orion. By all my accounts with the information available, it seems best to date women during the "honeymoon" or "cupcake" phase of the relationship: first 3-9 months. Asking for longevity beyond that with everything we know about women and hypergamy its a huge ask it seems. And a bunch of men feeling like its a huge ask, that is certainly a problem for society. If society doesnt see it now, or sees it but chooses to ignore it now, it likely will shift course in the future
The huge ask is directed to men - are you capable of the manly commitment needed? One guide could be Jordan B Peterson, it seems many young men intuitively understand that he is a father and a teacher. There are many other mature men, too, on the right track. Maybe dr Taraban, too, in due time.
For more, see Coach Greg Adams "Marriage Wheel" video about where to jump off.
Spot on. That particular time frame(give or take) is the BEST it will ever be in the relationship. Either nothing, or Short term stints are the ways to go in this day and age.
@@michaelcap9550 Coach Greg Adams and Dr Orion would be a great deep dive together. I think both of their own similar perspectives on marriage is one of the most thought provoking topics men can discover on all of TH-cam.
The moment I stopped wasting my time on women I started to live again.
One of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s was thinking that money would equate to more women. I hit 6 figures and tried to use my career to bolster my self esteem. High value men must hit all check boxes, warrior , king, magician and lover. I’m his takes time, countless failures and patience. This is why younger women tend to be attracted to older men, they have done the work
Max 5 to 10 years older. Beyond that, no.
@@Nordic_Sky No. I am 46, I had a 27 year old offer herself for a long term relationship months ago. It all depends on the man and his success.
Good on you. It can happen, but if she's hot and in demand, very rare. @@ClarkeIllmatical
@@ClarkeIllmatical How much of that was genuine attraction and how much was gold digging though? I've really almost never seen the former stretch much past a 10 year difference, no matter how good looking the guy was.
@@HenrySomeone It's the guy, really. Also, you'll learn that MOST women are gold diggers to a degree. Your mother, my mother, the man provided and the woman provided her body.
A big shout out to the pickup community. They, more than any group, identified and presented this information. And the response to hypergamy or the strategies have also been identified. GAME.
Exactly this is how you deal with inauthenticity and NPCs who don't know how to be their genuine selves
I agree that the response to hypergamy is to decide that it's not worth it and just game instead.
Pickup artists?? Dude you’re lame 😂
Evolutionary psychologists contributed way more than pick up artists.
The wiser response is being happy single.
My way of dating is to not be disappointed in a woman who shows her true self and i dont like it. Being honest and sometimes brutality honest while also trying to be successful and she'll either stand by you and support you or she'll get tired of you in the first month. Honesty is the best filter
Rightly said. That is the original purpose of dating, to see if there is compatibility for a long-term relationship. If it isn't going to work out at least you know early on.
Exactly. It’s a false dichotomy to say it’s blackpill or bluepill. You can be honest and focus exclusively on improving what you can control.
Thanks
It definitely sounds like a lose lose for men. My personal experience doesn’t feel as bleak, even as an obese man but I only proximity dated so my conversation always helped with a subset that really enjoy that trait over others.
I wouldn’t try to date today if my life depended on it. Because I have felt a shift towards misandry in casual interactions. I’m not friendly to people who assume the worst in me constantly. Easier for me to walk away than be demonized.
long relationships tend to be lose-lose for men. if it doesn't work out you could end up losing your money, house and kids in divorce. if it does work out, she will end up moaning, complaining, causing drama and chaos, and you lose access to other women. the juice isn't worth the squeeze, gentlemen.
I crave sex too much to ever stop dating, but I've also picked up on the shift you talk about. I've slept with ten women in the past year and only three of them did not hold what could politely be called questionable attitudes towards men. The rest were flagrant or closeted misandrists who viewed men like Christian fundamentalists view humans: tainted by Original Sin.
I feel sorry for the young men growing up in this world. I remember what it was like to date in the early 2000s. Men were not judged for being men and women did not approach them with a mixture of contempt, hypocrisy and greed.
One of the woman I slept with earlier in the year came to my city on holiday from abroad. She was clearly in a relationship - writing lightning fast texts to her partner when I was paying for drinks or going to the toilet. She expected me to pay for everything even though she proudly told me how much she earns - about 50% more than me. I footed the bill because I knew she'd put out, which she did, but she stopped me in the act because she realised she was making a mistake and high-tailed it out of my place soon after.
I laughed my ass off at that. Just imagine how deluded and disingenuous you have to be to do all of those things and STILL present yourself as a victim. This woman worked for one of the world's largest banks, was privately educated from a young age, and had a celebrity dentist for a father (clients including Hollywood actors).
@@davesmith826 thanks for sharing bro, you wrote with experience and wisdom, most of the guys share only to flex about how many women they get
So you basically treated a woman in a relationship like a prostitute, plying her with drink to get her to drop 'em, then think its her attitude problem when she comes to her senses in time before you can spray her with whatever you've picked up by having ten throwaway liasons per year?
@@cisvaughan6937 I didn't 'treat' her to anything. She came to me looking for sex, not the other way around, and she did so by setting up a temporary profile on a dating app. She lined a date up with me within a *day* of arriving in my city and she was only here for a week. I'd love to hear your justification for that lapse of judgement. As for alcohol, I didn't 'ply' her with anything - I actually suggested a meal - but she wanted drinks instead, so I went along. Nor did I 'spray' her with anything as I practise safe sex - the only spraying would have been on and into latex, had it come to that.
Have you got any more cliches up your sleeve? Your attempt to paint me as the problem in this situation is really very amusing. It's *precisely* what I meant about original sin - men are always the problem, even when they clearly are not.
When initiated as a means to win the game of women's hypergamy, the path to self-improvement is likely to become a lost cause. By the time you physically, financially, and psychologically reach that point (and that's IF you do), you will have aged, and your mindset will have shifted so dramatically that you will have lost most interest in playing the game to begin with. It may be an unpopular opinion, but I believe that men who are truly successful with women possess partially inborn characteristics and acquire the remaining attributes during childhood and the teenage years.
I can tell by experience and by observation, the number one attribute to get women is raw physical attraction, followed by having game. So, a guy who is tall, about 12-15% body fat and with above average facial features will have it very easy in his 20s and 30s, even with below average game skills. If you lack height and the other physical features listed above, then you need charisma and savoir faire, here's where game skills become important. If you lack both physical attributes and game skills, your best bet is money and status, which will enable you to get all the sex you want, but you will only be used and played by women, just don't forget that. It is what it is, not everyone can be in the top 10% obviously.
very true
exactly, the conclusion is, stop playing the game cuz its a loop boys, u will chase your own tail, u will never ever reach the top 1% its an infinity point, what women basicaly ask for is a god creature that can transform matter into energy and vice versa. its a lost cause. stop listening to con artists trying to sell you their course so u can ''game'' women.
only solution i have for u is stay fit, lift weight get in shape and that for health physical and mental health, women are drawn into this basic trait, fk that ''have game have money''
u will end up being scammed by women, she will play it soo good u will never believe she played u and all her ''love'' was a lie. in the end u will be left with nothing. peace
Exactly!!
The Chads are already born with those physical features, which are unattainable for other men. Can't change your genetical height, can't change your genetical facial structure.
Becoming "the best version" of yourself doesn't change the genetical facial structure.
The problem with aiming to be a "high-value man" through the eyes of women is that some characteristics considered attractive have little to no benefit to your life.
Take physical exercise as an example. If you are a short and skinny looking guy, this might serve you well when running marathons, if that's what you're into. However, most women would never consider you to be at the top of the attraction pyramid. You should do an activity that you enjoy and to promote a healthy life style, but if you let hypergamy guide your motivation, you may end up doing activities you hate for a superficial reason.
health, status, wealth, fitness are all good things for men....outside of it's alignment with attraction of females.
The point is, most things that are attractive to women are also beneficial from an objective pov. Exercising, being social, dressing well, making money will all improve your life. Almost all kinds of physical exercise are better than no exercise at all. Of course if you're ectomorphic/skinny, you should focus on lifting weights. You can learn to enjoy the stress of weightlifting. I'm speaking from experience. Once you learn to enjoy the discomfort, you've unlocked a new level in life.
The shorter you are, the worse you are at running. Also marathon runners are not ‘skinny’, they’re slim. They have plenty more muscle than the average person.
@@Shuflin I used skinny to refer to looks. And no, long distance runners tend to be shorter. Great marathon runners over the magical 6 feet tall (the bare minimum for many ladies) are rare.
@@okaySam If you take those aspects in a broader sense, yes, they may be beneficial to you. However, women operate like Procrustes. And their standards tend to go up with time.
Exercising is only attractive if it leads to a certain body type. Dressing well to impress women may be totally unnecessary for the man's professional life and requires some time and money. Making money is not what women really seek; it's men manking surplus money to spend on them.
A man can live a satisfying and healthy life while being unnatractive to the average overweight single mother. Turning into a Ken doll may make some men happier, but it is not the ultimate path all shall follow. Women's maladaptive attraction be damned.
Imagine the best version of yourself as a man and then work towards making what you envisioned a reality. Don’t do it for women, do it for yourself. When you get there, walk with pride in knowing all that you’ve accomplished.
This video made me feel better than just feeling inadequate. Thank you, Orion!
I'm past 60 and agree 100% with Orion's analysis ... having learned much of it through a long, painful process of mistakes. I am one of those men who is happy without a Western woman in his life. I have children, survived divorces and am self-sufficient in a comfortable retirement. What I don't need in my life is a Western woman. The sum total of everything she could possibly bring to the table, even the fantasy stuff that will never happen, does not even begin to tip the scales in her favor from what I currently have. It is my belief that Western women have made themselves so unpleasant and difficult to be with that more and more men will check out of relationships to pursue solitary activities that are now more attractive.
Good..... Mexican, Chinese, Arab, Indian, Nigerian, Brazilian, Filipino, etc etc men are glad to have you OUT of their way.
I completely agree. Woman are a horror show. The juice is not worth the squeeze. God help all men.
@@markminister2599 It's mass cultural narcissism, I tell ya. All the characteristics are there: deflection, projection, gaslighting, no accountability, denial, reversing victim/offender role, guilting, triangulation, pity play, imperative thinking, threats ... and more.
Interestingly enough, there is a similar cohort of Western women who feel exactly the same way about Western men.
I'm a rather young guy, I'm currently in the process of going from a low status minimum wage job to a high status job in a different sector. From previous experience and jumps up and down the status ladder, I already knew that the worlds that we live in are quite different, but I am still shocked about how different I am treated. In a low status job, my existence would hardly be recognized, and sometimes people wouldn't believe what I said was true. No woman would be willing sexualize me, not even remotely. When your status rises, it is almost as if you are reborn, and people suddenly recognize your existence. People look and smile at you before you even said a word. A nice feeling, but I can't help but get extremely saddened by how I and other people, who were ambitious and capable people the whole time, just lacking status, never got the chance to have a try...
It will make you start believing in astrology. No, not the elle magazine type astrology. Real astrology. Your status change comes with a change in other aspects of your life that make you more desirable, they are shallow creatures, so all of the types of things that being shallow comes with, you are able to acquire those things once you reach a better position in your career.
Same. I work hard, really hard, as a dish washer. Women treated me always like crap. They would yell at me, call me ugly and insult me.
And of course the new attention you get is absolutely worthless, because nobody wants to be liked for a few things that they've recently done. People want to be loved for who they are. Chasing status is completely and absolutely pointless apart from the resources it brings. It cannot make you feel any more seen as a person. The only way to do that is to force yourself on others
I understand the female selection process perfectly.
As long as they need something from you, you're in but every guy hopes that it's sex. When it's not sex, you'll get used for your utility, money, work, influence etc. You'll get used until she gets what she wants or the guy stops giving her what she wants.
Relationships are DEAD!
Then she has the option to divorce you and get a nice big payout for you having married her.
but facts
Not necessarily. We just have to learn how to steer our boats EARLIER in life, as in get good fatherly advice. I had zero, literally zero, but at last taught myself how to steer. You've GOT to be equally good with no partner as you are with the right one, should she come along. The wrong one? Jibe or tack, brothers; move on, move away. And stay universes away from the hookup game.
Spoken like the attitude of a true toddler. Grow up!🙄😏
70% of women are liberal and woke 🤣 70% ... Men are 70% conservative more even... We miles
apart and it will NEVER be forgotten or forgiven what the female vote has ushered in. 70% wokeness in women and you wanna say "just keep at it". They going to die alone in hookup culture sharing Chad and his simps as men will not settle for shit
I wish videos like this existed when I was a young man, but my entire life, I was lied to. When these truths started to finally come out about ten years ago, I was already who I was, and past a certain point, change is nearly impossible. To point #1, I find that the pursuit of becoming a high value man is in direct conflict with attempting to approach women; there is a fixed time trade-off, and pursuit of women takes time away from building status. The final point is the truth; I remember when I first started dating in the 1990s, the bar was much, much lower than it is today. Dating apps were not a thing, heck, cell phones and email were not a thing when I started dating. The shift towards most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of men, to now most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of women hadn't happened yet. Men need superior status to a woman to date that woman; but as woman have greatly increased their own social status in the last 30 years, the bar that they are looking for a man to clear has skyrocketed. That's why men are walking away, it's not that we think the juice isn't worth the squeeze, it's that there is no way in hell it actually is.
"most of the nation's wealth being in the hands of the top few percent of men or women" < there, ifify
Many women and pretty women still have average or below average jobs...So, women's, hypergamy is still beneficial for BOTH...
Except women do not want an average men with a good income unless he is also tall and good looking. Otherwise he has to basically be rich. Men are are better forgeting about women.
As with every time this concept is presented, it’s hard to hear and impossible to deny. This is the best, most succinct and most complete presentation I’ve seen. Especially the key focus that meeting the hypergamous criteria is nothing more that a preliminary qualification. And, the final statement about how many men essentially decide to give up is a reflection of a natural consequence of hearing the same essentially depressing, exhausting facts hundreds of times on social media.
It's not hearing those facts anywhere that makes men give up, it's that those facts corralate with their personal experiences which they've before perhapse attributed to bad luck or not trying hard enough. When they finally realize it's not them, it's the society and especially women, then they give up and honestly, it's the smart thing to do (at least as far as "serious" relationships go).
I got together with my wife when i was 23. We have struggled together and grown together over 30 years. My advice is to find someone decent at a young age and stay with them for life, before hypergamy becomes dominant as it does in later years. I wasnt top 10% in looks or financially, just found someone decent at a young age, and never wanted to change that. We're still great 30 years later. I'd hate to be on the dating market now...
This is the truth
We live in a post marriage age my man, it’s off the menu.
You probably can't bring yourself to accept that you were just lucky, but it's understandable. We all think "if I could, anyone can." But it's a hollow assumption, made from a blind guess that everyone must be "just like me".
It just happened to be one of the lessons of my life that stood out: anything I could do that the average person could not, was due to "special talent" that I was "blessed" with, while anything others could do that I could not, was only because I "didn't apply myself" sufficiently. It never mattered that I would explain the details of how much time and effort I put into something, it will STILL a "gift" that I was given, because the people telling me this had actually tried for a few minutes one day and found that they just didn't have the 'natural' ability.
I got to see that people are very funny in the way they view things: once they get an idea in their head, there is no reasoning or amount of explanation that can get it out.
It’s hell bro, just be happy and don’t look at our generation of content, the internet has ruined everything ESPECIALLY women, it WILL subconsciously fuck with your brain.
I went that route myself. Unfortunately, at that age I was too naive, too unaware. I didn't know what I wanted/needed, and I definitely didn't recognize how broken and incapable my wife was. There's never really been a "together" in any of it. The full weight was and has always been on me and nearly all the benefit on her. While I have grown and come into my own, she's the same unaccountable, emotionally stunted child she's ever been. If you're looking for a solution it isn't here either. Perhaps there's something to the strategy of first making yourself then going to find the unmade woman 10 years your junior. Alas, too late for me, I'm already committed.
Wow a psychologist who isn't completely insane. Not something ya come across everyday. Love the content
Pre selection has a steamrolling effect. I moved frequently in my late teens and early to mid 20's and every time I did move I had to restart the process of building my reputation with the women of that area. I had to put much more effort to pick up women at first than say a several months into moving and having success. The reason for that was both word of mouth, women DO talk about how you are in bed and everything else that goes along with the seduction process and secondly, they have eyes and if they constantly see a guy is always around and has success with lots of attractive women it is social proof he is worth going for in a romantic/sexual sense. This would culminate eventually with me being in the position of women approaching me and asking for sex. Not with nearly the frequency I was still initiating the encounters but still with a frequency that most men just could not believe unless they saw it happen. This all happened pre internet/smart phone/dating apps and was almost a word of mouth blue check mark by today's standards. In short, success with women leads to more and easier success.
Ha! My 1st roommate after leaving parental nest, was a muscular, outgoing, happy-go-lucky, good looking scots-irish-curly blonde 25-yo fellow. Didn't have a lot going intellectually (couldn't read, big income potential nearly zilch), but had wisdom around women. To paraphrase, "Easy to get more women when you have one already hanging on your arm". When he was home, there were very often two or three hot young ladies, friends group, there just passing the time.
I told my son to look carefully at the mother of whatever girl he is dating. She WILL end up just like her in the long run. Crazy mother, crazy daughter. He has realized how true that is
Most of the time that will work and it's good advice. I've had women who are crazy but they have great moms.
@@spacewalktraveller1yeah no one bit of advice is going to be flawless 100% of the time exceptions will always occur but in general I think he is pretty much right aswell on average if the mother of a woman is a complete narcissist manipulating scum then it’s safe to assume the daughter is a hyperbole red flag
That is the cleanest red pill distillation I've ever heard. Men have to do a lot of shit to get women to respond and engage with us. So much energy and effort that not trying anymore seems like the best option. I've just about stopped trying. Feeling like a lost puppy going door to door and being rejected is emotionally exhausting and kills your confidence. But when I'm finally seen by them I will exercise my options.
Why do random stray men project their failures upon billions of strangers? The real problem is that lower end men aren't interested in lower end women!
there's only so much we can take
bro if you really want her that much then you have to have gay personality, bo cap. realized how nowadays woman are so into gay stuff
This reminds me of "Models: Attraction through Honesty"'s chapter about demographics, a well off software engineer at the nightclub is out of his element, but at a tech conference or teaching a city-run class about scratch?
But really the thing I think the most about hypergamy is that we always think of it as the top 10% of guys who succeed on tinder getting laid because they are conventionally sexually attractive and have text game. But like my biggest mistake in dating was not giving every woman interested in me a chance in college where my intellectualism shined. Like I am literally going to move across the world to somewhere that matches my political/religious leanings, has a world renowned university, and more activities because I went from nothing in months on dating apps to hookups in days while visiting some places. It's not just money, most women don't care much beyond "has a decent job" but a lawyer will; a PhD student cares a lot more about education and a family oriented woman cares far more about how you are with kids.
My experience with being "high value" is that dressing well is around as valuable as having a high paying job; meeting through a shared interest is worth more than owning a condo. I genuinely think that a good career and house literally only "unlock" women with good careers and houses. If you dress well, have a high paying job, travel, and own a house all it does is increase the number of generic women interested in you. Hang out at art exhibitions wearing a beret and going on art dates, suddenly you became the top 10% for art women instantly, way more efficient.
So the only thing I would have added to the video is ultimately what "Models" pushes for, do not waste your time on people who are "unreceptive" to you, if she isn't letting you escalate move on. Ultimately you are trying to find the women where you are the top 10% not seduce a specific arbitrary women. Accurately represent yourself as much as possible so you can get selected and force the issue with escalation. Like telling the chemical engineer I met in the park that I want to live a minimalist lifestyle and that I have less education than her literally saves me time if she doesn't connect on instagram when I give her my QR code.
Nice read
it's all about getting laid, dippy. that's why you can't get to women. this obsession is relentless.
this is bluepill bullshit
Complete nonsense except for the idea of moving to a place with better wmn
This is such a useful video, one I think any young man needs to see. This is not a humble brag, but I earn close to 200k at 28, own my own property, dress decently and drive a nice car, and over 6ft in athletic shape and my male friends always talk about how easy it must be to get girls with all these things. They don't believe me when I say these things are the cherry on top for most girls, but it won't seal the deal at all, you still need to be confident, charming, be able to hold conversation, not be a creep, etc, etc. This whole high value man thing has been focused on too much, so much so that people think it's the only thing that matters.
yeah true bravo for knowing this
Yeah it doesn't matter how many areas you score a 10, you're only as strong as your weakest link. So somewhere around the 51st test or so, you're eventually going to fail. It is just impossible to win, no point trying
The part he left out, was being a "bad boy".
I don't think you're right with your last statement; most guys who've done some research know that a truly high value man needs to check all the boxes.
@@Tom-vq2hw Long term that's true, but you can win temporarily, which is coincidentially the only thing women are good for - short term fun.
"Will our kids' hands look funny?"
This I definitely didn't understand about female mate selection. 🤣
For their future genetics....it's evolutionary stuff.
Funny how? As long as you have 4 fingers and a thumb on each hand! That's the standard design!
Single women at 20: "Don’t talk to me!”
Single women at 30: “Somebody please talk to me!”
Single women at 40: “Hey! I’m talking to you!”
Single women at 50: “Here Kitty, Kitty.”
Classic!
XD
Wow your mother failed you. I'm so sorry.
@@chicbateI'm sorry the truth hurts honey.
a bunch of socially awkward men who whine like little boys doesn't hurt me sweetie @@caliburxzero
This is why I'm single now. I often simply decline to do the backflips that many women request of me to give them my commitment and access to my resources. Or I could get there but they push too hard for a relationship before I've been shown enough to cut other women off. I've always been decent with women and I've since made myself very successful (top 3%) and in turn I'm very busy and very picky with who I spend time with and how I spend my resources. If a womam isn't top notch and showing reciprocal interest, I'm just not going to do backflips and act like she's so much better than me that I'd just be lucky to be around her, which is how it seems many women these days want you to act. I don't know any of these women yet either so I understand starting at 0, but she's at 0 too in my book. I don't want and wouldn't accept just any woman so if there is any prooving to be done, in my mind, it's at least mutual. The issue I have with this paradigm is it gives women the gaul to be a little cute (or not) and tell a top 3% man to impress her without considering what that kind of man wants or thinking she should have to be that, even though she stands to be the primary beneficiary of their association, and she should actually probably be the one trying to impress him.
In a perfect world you’d be right but you fail to include the trump card women have. Many men want to have sex with them and those men can’t even help it because of testosterone and such. Women can do that shit and they most certainly do.
This speaks to the Alpha Widow problem. If you are relatively high status, but deemed inferior to an Ex who dumped her (or just strung her along for sex), she'll often be annoyed with you, and intimacy will be rare.
Hypergamy over time Brings Baggage which builds up around a woman.
Exactly. Often times an average women has had a past brief encounter with what she sees as a high value man, and then becomes confirmed in a delusion that any potential long term partners must be at an equivalent or higher value to fit her own deluded perception of value. It's especially sad when you see people who may have been a quite attractive in high School/College, however the looks have slipped with time, but the attitude and expectations haven't. I believe this is the breading grounds for what eventually can turn into a full blown Karen in later life.
"Hypergamy over time Brings Baggage which builds up around a woman" .
They are everywhere
All women are Chad chasers and never bag a Chad
@@Crippylongstockings that will be fixed if we breed out, hypergamy from women's mind.
basicaly let them go extinct if they show any sign of hypergamy.
I'm thankful for you bro, you have no idea how much we needed to hear this.
Glad you did this video. My own experience: I don't check all the boxes that women are supposed to want. I was in school at place where men outnumbered women 7:1. To say it was competitive was an understatement. It took a couple years to learn what to do. It never felt easy though it got better. Mainly knowing how to show enough interest to get s woman's attention without showing too much and scaring her off, and probably more importantly letting things develop say s peace that let the woman think it was her idea. Learning how to recognize when there was sexual tension building. I was also close friends and confident of a lot of women. I don't know being in the friend zone was a bad thing. Those relationships gave me some insight into how women think. Then l graduated, making a fair amount of money. I remember thinking l liked the women l was with when l was a broke student more than the women i attracted when l showed up with the BMW.
Even more decades later women are still a mystery. But things like this video do a lot explain the behavior i encountered.
I think the most important thing is to realize, it's like a game, and women want you but they can find a thousand different reasons to run away. Like hunting or fishing you have to be patient but know when it's time to act, and always persistent .
Talk to stranger females and ask them direct questions to dispel "the mystery" of being a woman. Men could understand, if they made an effort to find out. Women you don't know are a better place to start - because they are bamboozled to. Life is not working out how feminism said it would, despite legal changes.
Thanks!
"Women don't care about your struggles. They wait at the finish line and pick the winners." - Bill Burr
And that is their Darwinian responsibility. They determine the future of the species by their mating choices.
@@stephanypistachio I appreciate your thoughtful response.
To me it's quite amazing that nature would allocate the responsibilities for reproduction so unequally! Men are involved, but women are committed.
Just look at the criteria on dating profiles. Men: she has looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A, and we're good to go: Women: I've seen lists of literally 40 to 50 criteria.
Men are forced to restrict their choices because of resource limitations. A guy with the goods can collect literally hundreds of women: the Bible in Kings 11:3 says that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. How he had time and energy to run a kingdom is a mystery.
A Darwinian win is different for a man than for a woman. If a man mates with a superior female, his offspring are better than he: a win. If he mates with an inferior woman, the offspring are better than her. A win. If a woman mates with a superior male, her offspring are better than her: a win. Mating with an inferior male results in her raising offspring that are inferior to her, a Darwinian no-no.
I wish all the best for you and yours, and I welcome any counterpoints :-)
You're wrong. The difference is in what defines a woman as "a winner" and what defines a man as "a winner".
Men require substantially less from women than women require from men. So, to men, most women are winners.
To women, VERY few men are winners.
So sure. You're right. Ugly women probably have it the hardest, and successful men probably have it the easiest.
But average and above average women dominate the sexual market place as unassailed victors. They just *feel* like they're losing, because they can only get dick (not commitment) from the male 9s and 10s, but ALL the 4s, 5s, 6s, and 7s want them, still, even if they are just a 4-5.
@@reedschrichte800 I completely disagree with many of your points, coming from a woman. I have firsthand experienced the immense criteria men have for women. This topic requires a huge amount of empathy and ability to notice subconsious criteria that man have instilled in women for decades. Your point about how men only want "looks above a certain aesthetic cutoff point, decent T&A" is really untrue. Sure, your standards may be just that, but as a women I have seen firsthand the disgusting and objectifying ways men have talked about women. They put women into categories of whether or not they would date them. Of course, it might be hard for you to imagine such a world that men have created to put women down because they are not secure within themselves. And to an extent, I do agree with the fact that large criteria lists that women have made can be intimidating and unfair to men, and that is why every list I see are max 10 criteria and never 40 to 50 like you stated.
It might seem confusing why women have generally more criteria then men, but you fail to notice why. Because of the natural instinct of many men, they many times crave sexual desires more than relationships built on trust and value. You even showed this yourself! Notice how your generalized criteria for men is ALL based off superficials like looks and anything else that strengthens the mans sexual intent. When looking at womens criteria, notice how minimum 50% of the criteria is based off personality values such as the ability to make them laugh, trust, and being secure in your masculinity.
So, thats why you notice more criteria in women, because they add a personality section while men, (and you proved this yourself at the start of your argument), think with their genitals :)
So please dont get discouraged by women's criteria! Trust me, it really doesnt take much to be a good person! do this, and your halfway through the generalized criteria you so often get discouraged by.
Hope this helped! Im open to an argument
@@ishie24 I really appreciate your perspective. I enjoy sharing points of view like this. At my age and stage of life, I'm above the fray and have a pretty good objective view of the field... and I have 2 daughters :-)
The biological fact is that Nature has allocated the responsibility for reproduction in a very lopsided manner between the males and females: the biological burden falls almost entirely upon the female.
Look at what happens with all higher mammals: the males fight it out to determine who is the top dog, and that male mates with all the females. That insures that the best genes are propagated for the future of the species. Women are absolutely programmed with this same selection criteria. It is their Darwinian responsibility.
And yes I have actually counted 40 female criteria: not common, but their lists are much longer than men's. Male criteria are far more simple, and yes superficial, and I agree that men can be real pigs 🙂
I enjoy examining male-female dynamics, and in the end I'm on your side, so feel free to come back with your observations and yes even frustrations 🙂 All the best to you!
So this is like when a job posting has artificially high qualifications/experience (i.e. 2+ years in related field, Masters degree...) but is not necessarily required to excel at the job. What's more important is that you show up to the job interview and effectively communicate what attributes you are bringing to the table.
the employer (woman) will agree to give the employee (man) a job (marriage). however no one is immune to getting fired. she will become bored 7 years later, file for divorce, and take the money, house and kids. RIP married guys.
Except the job isn't even a successful entrepreneurship, it's literally a dime-a-dozen start-up.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 this used to be men's game. have a taste of your own medicine. enjoy.
A masculine problem solving method projected on to women . I love it
Nah, this episode is inherently dumb and his inexperience with women is very obvious this time
@@theravenousrabbit3671give evidence for this
I don't think that is the angle here. This is for men to solve by understanding how women today, mate and to break the two misconceptions about their mating practices strongly held by us.
What's the solution tho
@@jirensentry7609my writing is poor. I am saying what you are saying . We project our thought processes on to them. Then we are resentful if they don’t act how we think they should.
As a guy who was told at an early age that "women will love you when you're older", and having spent the last 30-odd years failing to even get a second date, I've learned to not pursue women or sex. Whenever I consider it, I end up feeling depressed and empty. It's pretty clear that whatever I have to offer is, in fact, not valued - so for my own wellbeing I have decided to just focus on myself and not pursue any sort of relationship.
I'm going to let women pursue whomever they want, and I'm just going to leave them to it and do what makes me happy. It's better for everyone.
I totally get this.
Freud asked, "What Does a woman want?"
Experience has told me that it ain't me.
I came to understand I was de- selected.
So what 's the trick?
Take the pain.
Life ain't fair.
Do somethin' else.
I suppose this is why prostitution is "the oldest profession"
Apparently, I was a Chad but really never knew it deep down. I never needed to approach, I always got approached and those were the women from whom I chose to have relationships with. I was never without women admirers but somehow thought I was not doing as well as most men, mostly because they always bragged about getting "multiple" women. I was never interested in having multiple women because it seemed like it took a lot of time, money and energy and I was loyal and had hobbies I liked better. Instead I stuck with one woman for 18 years, one for 12 and one for 15 and I never cheated. As someone who has seen some success in this area I can tell you that aside from being a fleeting ego boost, being attractive to women has only led me to temporary, short-lived, happiness while involved with them. I'm out of the game permanently now and just focusing on making myself happy as I am. It's a huge struggle and I think I''m very far behind a lot of men on that because of my early success with women. My point is that the grass is not greener where I was and am now. I think we should be thankful for the opportunity of life and commit to making the best of the cards we are dealt.
I’m there right now. I’m 35. Fairly well established and working on a career and financial upgrade that should definitely be attainable. I look the best I ever have body building the last two years with no reason to stop. I dated/hooked up with several women in my 20’s. A lot of them were pulling some bs and my now former career was a hinderance. Now thing are so bad I can’t get a date. Been approached by six attractive women in the last year. 2 were married, 2 engaged, and 2 crazies that went back to abusive ex’s. Ridiculous. I think most of them don’t want to make a choice.
Southeast Asia, my friend. You're welcome.
This is one of the best examples of clear thinking that is missing in the discussion on intersexual dynamics. Great content
Yes.. this has caused me to become more hesitant about seeking a mate. Especially in todays age of social media and vast attention from other men, huge disadvantage to men and modern dating
Yea man its insane. Literally have married woman hitting me up while they still have pictures of their man on socials. SMH unbelievably
@@AbletonLiveTechs yup… i want an actual relationship and not just a bunch of hookups. Honestly not really sure how to go about it anymore even while working to be higher status.
@@joshweatherly8715 We are all on the same boat. Especially for me being christian I see it more spiritually. IMO woman have been decieved again by the apple 🍎 📲
@@AbletonLiveTechs yessir i feel that!! Great way to look at it actually… i am a christian as well. Good luck to both of us on this quest…
@@joshweatherly8715 Yea man good luck!! Stick to christ only he can give you peace. Also invest in boxed wine and cat food 😂
Mass females soon alcholics and pet moms
Gents... be your best self. Working on yourself is a worthwhile lifetime goal and by that I mean the value is in the constant journey.
Either she sees the value and appreciates it or she does not. Don't lose daily focus on consistent improvement of yourself.
Always... ALWAYS be ready to walk away and if she threatens to leave.....don't give her the option, instead show her the door and require that she utilize that door.
Women may thrive on game playing but men do not. Do both of you a favor and help her to initiate her new chapter in finding someone else and free up the spot so that you can find someone who wants to be with you. Everyone wins.
If you do not allow her to manipulate you, then she will respect you and YOU will respect yourself.
She may leave you specifically because she cannot manipulate you and she happens to want to be with someone that she can manipulate. Its a good thing for her to go.
Long story short.... live your life in such a way that you are focused on yourself and you present to the world and yourself as a person deserving of respect.
DO NOT tie yourself into knots trying to please her. If you have to do that then she will not be pleased no matter what you do but she might ring you for every drop of benefit she thinks she can get out of you before monkey branching to a new victim. Don't be a victim.
As a professional musician I pull them easily, even now in my 50s. I have learned to keep it brief and move on. When they discover what a sweetheart I actually am, not an aloof rock god, their attraction usually dies.
hmmm, that might be the case that they are just shitty humans
Loving the archetype....not you.
A sweetheart who uses language like 'pull them easily'....not exactly my definition of a sweetheart
@ninamartin1084 I don't care what you think. You're a random ignorant person on TH-cam. You exist in near-infinite abundance.
@@ninamartin1084I don't care what you think 👍 It's normal British slang that women use too. Read a little more, pearl clutch a little less, dummy.
Very insightful information Dr. Taraban, yes many times a formula is just that a formula ,it does not guaranteed outcome. As we all progress in the world the list keeps growing and the demands get higher. Its like decades ago when ordering breakfast the options were regular coffee or decaf that is far different today and it has permeated in others areas of society. Thanks for all the great information and content you make for us all in this wonderful channel of yours!
One of the more insightful comments.
Great comment. As time goes by we get bombarded by more and more options, making choice more difficult and feeling of regret much higher. Thank you for your insights.
Walking away is men's superpower.
Not only is it an act that women can't control, it is also extremely damaging in that it's the ultimate rejection which they can't handle.
My girl and I were discussing the rocky relationships that we could see amongst our friends. In that context I simply stated that I'd walk away from it all, not engage.
This was a bombshell to her, she interpreted this as a major threat to her/us - whereas all I was doing was highlighting a hypothetical example.
Oh dear, she was spinning out of control and imagining it to be a reality, she just couldn't process it.
Jesus.
Rejecting women is massive for them.
I think it boils down to gender differences in how men and women interpret and resolve issues.
Generally, when conflict arises, men prefer to retreat into their safe space to prevent further escalation whereas women prefer to engage and discuss over it in order to find solutions.
I think your girl wasn’t interpreting your response as a rejection to her as a person; perhaps, she interpreted your walking away as disinterest in not willing to resolve potential relationship issues that may occur in the future.
This may imply insecurity in the relationship both of you share. Since she values the relationship she shares with you, it is understandable that it may have invoked feelings of anxiety (although it is a hypothetical situation in a certain context, it may happen in reality).
You just need to reassure her that no matter the differences in how both of you respond to conflicts, there will be an amiable solution for the both of you.
Perhaps, you may feel puzzled over how women think. Generally, women tend to possess a more emotional mindset and men tend to possess a more logical mindset.
Of course, I’m making general assumptions although it seems that your girl may fit into this assumption.
Tinder only works when you swipe left. If you only swipe right, then you don't establish a preference and thus get the bottom of the barrel. @@melenico4512
This was a phenomenal video. Very thorough and pragmatic breakdown with real life examples. Keep doing what you’re doing, how you’re doing it. Great watch 👍🏾
A thousand percent true. Im in the upper end of men. You said something today that is exactly why ive thrown in the towel on this bullshit game. You can have the money, the body, the game, but if you say that one thing wrong, you get completely blown out of the game. I've learned to use my charm and whittiness to make make up for the other areas of less attractiveness, but that comes at a price of saying the wrong thing sometimes. Theres so many hurdles ive absolutely just given up.
But what he preach in this video is opposite 😅he literally said that even loosing half of your stuff in divorce court you benefit somehow 😂😂😂😂. The video is very naive
One can’t be both “upper end” and insecure.
Good video. Part of the original premise of pickup (which I started following when I was around 16 or 17 in 2002-2003) is that the social preconditions foisted upon us for access to women sexually are not as important as most men believe. And I've definitely found this to be true. A lot of men waste their lives away chasing money and status while ignoring women's emotional and psychological desires and think everything will just pan out. To understand a woman deeply and seduce her is infinitely more satisfying than to make a simple barter like most men do.
You;re making women out to be incredibly complex and deep, and they're not. Not even intelligent ones. They're even more shallow than guys are.
Make plenty of money and have an image that makes them think other women are jealous when they're seen with you. That's it.
I agree with this.
Probably the most important thing about attracting women is masculinity, making them feel comfortable with you to the point where they’re sharing personal information and freely touching you. Confidence that’s casual… banter/humor and flirting.
But, the bottom line in order to get them to fall in love quickly, is you have to be able to give them a penetration orgasm by understanding how and what puts them over the edge during the act. That oxytocin rules their minds on burning desire.
In order to get to that, you have to make them feel safe on a lot of levels… freedom from judgement, humor, sharing your thoughts and experiences while also listening to them… eye contact, and innuendo-flirting.
Your money, job and cars won’t get you any burning desire… just opportunity.
@@semperoccultus1969 dis nigga spittin
Thank you.
Absolutely! From a woman.
Amen 🙏 I'm in the space 😊
My observation is that most men are clueless. My parents met on a blind date while both were away at uni. My mother had to ask her friend to ask her boyfriend to encourage my dad to ask my mom on a second date. After 9 months of dating, my mother said to my dad "If this isn't heading towards marriage, I'll need to start dating other men". He asked her then and there. My father admitted he never once thought my mother would ever consider marrying him as she came from a well to do family and he came from a poor one. But my mom always said he was a better man than any she knew from her hometown.
But even my grandmother had to push. She met my grandfather at a party. He was shy. She told him "You should ask me to dance," so he did. After she said "Are you not going to ask me out on a date?" Grandfather did so. After a number of months she asked "When are you planning to ask me to marry you?" He died before I was born so I don't know what he thought but he was a very handsome man, very intelligent, but from a poor family.
Moral of the story. Men, don't underestimate yourself. Women probably grade you better than you think they do. And women, if you find a man you want, forget the subtle hints and hit him with a clue-by-four. It's the only way men know what women actually want.
This story isn't applicable for today, VERY different times for grandpa and grandma.
@@jvo3777Yeah. Now it's BOTH the young men and young women who are clueless and unable to communicate with each other.
@@DarkSyster true. I have no plan to attempt dating again, Jesus is coming so soon anyway.
If only it happened like this in real life :/
Examples refer to past times. Quite a very different environment. Still what this anecdotal stories show is the fact that :
1. It is women, not men, the ones who chose
2. Flirting does not come natural to men, precisely because flirting as we mean it is not a natural human behavior.
The only payoff of hypergamy is that you are finally free from the claws of someone who sucked your soul dry while she lived under your roof. I’m not accepting the “it is just in their nature”, thereby excusing them from this innate behaviour. I’m still not French-kissing a scorpion. It’s a scorpion.
Right.. im black.. i might as well be broke, rob someone, and eat chicken.. jus in my nature
@@TraeZoehahaha
You're going down a dangerous path. Understand women, don't hate them. They are the way they are for a reason, and you can't dislike them for their innate characteristics. Understand them so you can anticipate their next move and stay ahead of them, and keep your sanity intact
Why do random stray men project their failures upon billions of strangers?
@jakesdekker7503 there's two to tango and things happen for a reason. i'm sure you're not completely innocent.
I'm in the top 10% and I can agree, the juice is NOT worth the squeeze. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life, there is much less prosperity when you have a woman in your life.
Get to the phillpines and date around. Then get back to work. Best of both worlds.
Do you think you would feel a need for that excess prosperity if you didn't have fear of scarcity?
And what about the prosperity makes you happy, exactly?
It’s not a fear of scarcity. It the fact that a sub human with a 12 year old mentality will never take my assets from my life’s work because they can with the slanted divorce laws. Only a fool would take such a risk. 🤡
As a highly attractive man that has had one too many married / engaged women hit on me, many of them married to close friends or people in the family, I'm increasingly disgusted by how female attraction / selection works
yea struggle, work your ass off 20 years to build up a career, high salary, get jacked, become the top 10%.. only to get something she has been handing over for free to clowns each night..
And she will divorce you.....at that point you just have enough money to survive it.
this right here….😭😭😭😭
Are you angry with her, or the clowns?
@@ninamartin1084her. This is why guys are leaving
Thanks!
It can be very disheartening receiving this information for men. It kind of reminds me of the quote "Men today have to work 5 times harder than their grandfather had to, for a women that is 20 times worse than his grandmother."
So men are pretty much competing for a modern women who is getting worse with time. Sounds like a raw deal to me.
Our closest genetic relatives the chimpanzees with whom we share 99% of our DNA have a system whereby males compete for sexual access to females. It's a winner take all strategy, devised by mother nature. And it has resulted (several million years on) in humans. Human culture has devised ways to minimize this effect but this tendency is still very strong within us and emerges in certain situations eg. when men have a need to prove status, they don't do it by open physical conflict but by having the most sexually-desirable women, ie. women of childbearing age, even if they have no intention of having children with her. Once she gets to 30 she is replaced by 'this year's model'. Here women are used as status signifiers to cement a man's position with other men. It actually has nothing to do with the woman herself or the man's emotional needs outside of perceived status. No good chasing the status and then finding out you have the love and approval of other men but not that of a good woman. And the system today pits all men against all other men as societal norms break down BUT it's still better than having to physically fight off other men all day every day to stop them having sex with your females, isn't it?