"I DON'T play GAMES": understanding what this really means

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @psychacks
    @psychacks  ปีที่แล้ว +195

    This is a phrase I have heard many, many times over the course of my dating history. You would be forgiven for thinking that the person who says this is ready to "cut to the chase:" to dispense with all the courtship nonsense and negotiate a relationship. However, this is not the case. "I don't play games" really means "hurry up, and give me what I want" -- which is a tactic in the game of relationships. Be very wary of those who profess not to play games. Most likely, they can't afford to pay the sticker price.
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    • @танчиктанчиков-ю3о
      @танчиктанчиков-ю3о ปีที่แล้ว +2

      for my understanding you had things like that : "i don't play games- k, what do you offer ? - fuck off, you greedy bastard.(i dont owe you nothing, and many variation of robbed insecurity)"
      actually i see great opportunity for interesting conversation there and whant to hear your's thoughts on this perspective:
      1. i don't play games. i want serious relationships
      2. great, i apprishiate your's straight approach. lets discuss our ideas of serious relationships just to be on the same side - how do you see serious relationships ?/what team yo want to join and in witch role ? carry + support ? partners in crime ? maybe oddly specific combination of those ?
      3.- she told you her's preferences
      4. k there is my preferences ! how do we will match them/ or how do you see this variation of matching our preferences ??? (repeat untill you ll find common ground)
      5. great! we figured out prefered roles in our team! also fell free repeat this conversation if you feel need to redefine this roles (not too often, it ll be quite hard to sustain too chaotic system)
      6. now we have to decide what we want to achive together ! pls share what do you expect from this relationships ? cute yellow house where always plays house of the rising sun ? maybe couple nasty boys who always play baseball in the backyard instead of doing their homework?
      7. k let's recognize that it is alot of work.
      8. with respect of our role preferences and our current recources what do you thing would be fair share of work between us ?
      ......
      this way you do actually communicate her that you are ready to support your's fair share and you both in power to deside that split, instead of ultimatuing her on shady conditions.
      p.s. i litterally have no idea and experiances in relationship with a woman, but this kind of discuttion feels fair in this circumstances, so maybe im dellusional, feel free to educate me

    • @syedtayyab5142
      @syedtayyab5142 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love what you're doing here Doc. Massive respect and the best wishes for you

    • @milkshakeplease4696
      @milkshakeplease4696 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      secular dating is such a fail lol. religious society with arranged marriages ftw

    • @JoBlakeLisbon
      @JoBlakeLisbon ปีที่แล้ว

      Mate - leave the USA. Everything you say basically only applies to American women. I honestly think that American men should simply boycott their women until they get the picture.
      In other countries, women will tell you what they offer - or they will show you. It's normal. Men do the same.
      I would be interested to hear from you what factors in American culture have created a generation of women are surprised that a man wants something out of a relationship too.

    • @Eric_Nielsen
      @Eric_Nielsen ปีที่แล้ว

      Short version: any woman who says this is going to be completely toxic to any man. Say nothing and walk away.

  • @someguyusa
    @someguyusa ปีที่แล้ว +257

    "Don't waste my time," is essentially saying, "I already wasted my time."

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      For most of modern women, and just about every women who are not virgins

    • @salguodrolyat2594
      @salguodrolyat2594 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The answer to 'dont waste my time' is 'you already wasted your time ,no way i can match that waste in my lifetime'.🤔

  • @Khan-rz8qi
    @Khan-rz8qi ปีที่แล้ว +1628

    “I don’t play games” - I already ran the streets and been through hell and back. Now it’s your job to fix all the mistakes and live up to a higher standard than all the men that came before you. As a man, do not pay premium price for a product other men before you got for free or at a far higher discount.💯

    • @Dewane1511
      @Dewane1511 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥✊🏾

    • @inconnu4961
      @inconnu4961 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Preach!

    • @timtim818
      @timtim818 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      I had a date said I'm tired of getting ghosted afyer smashing so ima wait 3 months 😂 I took the L and ran

    • @D-A-N-
      @D-A-N- ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Perhaps they didn’t treat her well as a human being should be treated and you should treat them well ? Bec you’re not her exes?

    • @999eres
      @999eres ปีที่แล้ว +89

      That could very well be the case, but today women have more options than ever on the dating market. If she was constantly with men who mistreated her, it's because she chose to be with those men. She absolutely had the option of men that would have treated her better.

  • @TylerAnderson-xl6hb
    @TylerAnderson-xl6hb ปีที่แล้ว +1007

    I don't play games= I play games.
    I hate drama= I create drama.
    I'm finding myself= I'm participating in hookup culture.
    I bring myself to the table=I have nothing to offer.

    • @simonn6746
      @simonn6746 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      ^this

    • @xyaeiounn
      @xyaeiounn ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I make TH-cam videos that are common-sense information about human relationships = I make TH-cam videos that are nonsense opinion designed to pander to the disaffected.

    • @brachiosaurus6541
      @brachiosaurus6541 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Legend 💯

    • @tivasthegamer9817
      @tivasthegamer9817 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      ​@@xyaeiounnmaybe you should stop doing those kind of videos, no wonder why you have only 3 subs. 😂

    • @raymondrivera2670
      @raymondrivera2670 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@tivasthegamer9817 it's a troll. Pay them no mind. There will always be haters when the truth is spoken. The only people that dislike this message is a woman or a white knight

  • @bazookacat8421
    @bazookacat8421 ปีที่แล้ว +721

    "Don't waste my time."

    • @NobodyXSomebody
      @NobodyXSomebody ปีที่แล้ว +97

      The way the culture has been going this is the immediate assumption men have whenever they hear these words. Its the same with women suddenly finding Jesus (or any other religion) in their late 20s, or becoming a part of the conscious community, or writing "no hook-ups" on their dating profiles...for some reason it just screams "questionable dating/sexual history". Men just think to themselves "how bad must her past be for her to need this much damage control on a spiritual level"

    • @julesfalcone
      @julesfalcone ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Bc she already wasted it.

    • @RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb
      @RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb ปีที่แล้ว

      Men will overlook almost everything except body count,feminism and libtardery 🤣

    • @swordsnorchids1997
      @swordsnorchids1997 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Yeah well abusive and toxic relatinships mess you up and they're really hard especially if you were a good and kind, loving person who did not deserve that to begin with and yes recovery is hard also.

    • @darkvalkyrie5366
      @darkvalkyrie5366 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ​​@@NobodyXSomebodyor maybe men are just not interesting to them anymore 🤷‍♀️
      let's be real: people are not interesting.

  • @dudejoe8390
    @dudejoe8390 ปีที่แล้ว +602

    For some reason, this episode feels unintentionally funny and it works.

    • @KD400_
      @KD400_ ปีที่แล้ว +34

      I laughed at the title lol

    • @nikoladd
      @nikoladd ปีที่แล้ว +14

      that's the intent.

    • @flemutter7211
      @flemutter7211 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Truth has that effect. This is why all comedy is based on some truth!

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  ปีที่แล้ว +162

      @@jerryjessup9192 I've been known to dabble in the humor.

    • @FleetaFleegalBuckFut
      @FleetaFleegalBuckFut ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@psychacksfunny guy

  • @Haz2288
    @Haz2288 ปีที่แล้ว +593

    It's a form of arrogance. It's being so entitled that you think you're above selling yourself. Even the most successful companies have massive sales teams for this reason. No entity is above pitching itself.

    • @inconnu4961
      @inconnu4961 ปีที่แล้ว

      Except women! women are the exception to every bad or negative rule! LOL

    • @allenlin7333
      @allenlin7333 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      women generally believe that you walking up to her is equivalent to a purchase decision. Hence the arrogance. Or they just wanna belittle you so they can feel better about being dumped by chad last night. lol

    • @InsanitysApex
      @InsanitysApex ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Yes, but in women's defense it's necessary in today's dating environment. A significant portion of men can't/won't/don't sell themselves (or massively undersell) and since they aren't acting masculine to polarize the relationship the woman is forced to play an assertive, frame-setting hand. If many men will accept anything then women must adapt by presenting the lowest bid necessary or they degrade their self-respect by giving up more than required. And there's a lot of men nowadays that will accept nearly anything...

    • @AnonymousAccount514
      @AnonymousAccount514 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@allenlin7333 this is absolutely true....EVERY woman I have ever said Hello to assumes I am hitting on them

    • @ArgzeroYT
      @ArgzeroYT ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Games aren't a sales pitch but your statement is a sales pitch for games... albeit, not a very good one.

  • @jimjohnson394
    @jimjohnson394 ปีที่แล้ว +307

    "I don't play games" = "Now that I'm older with baggage, I'm at a disadvantage in the dating market. Men can now manipulate me like I used to manipulate men, and I don't like it."

    • @Tzizenorec
      @Tzizenorec ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Doesn't seem to consistently work that way. The young are naive, the old have wisdom; sometimes that's the stronger effect.

    • @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
      @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@Tzizenorec
      _"The young are naive, the old have wisdom..."_ Sure, if you're a man, who's compelled to live in reality as the builder, designer, maintainer, and defender of civilization who's forced to contend with the world as it is. It doesn't apply to infantilized females who're rescued from the consequences of their poor decisions by society and sheltered against truth.

    • @Tzizenorec
      @Tzizenorec ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. I did say "sometimes". _You,_ on the other hand, did not. You really think _all_ women are that way? I've spoken with women who threw all that coddling away to please the nearest man, and with women who never got that coddling at all because of their family. (And men aren't always how you describe either; you're describing a hero.)

    • @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq.
      @Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Tzizenorec
      You're not a eunuch or a female, are you?

    • @Tzizenorec
      @Tzizenorec ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Mr.Ambrose_Dyer_Armitage_Esq. WTF, man? No, I'm not. Entirely heterosexual male, living alone off my own earnings.
      Now, there have to be stakes for both sides when you raise a question like that, so I'd say you just admitted I'm right. Because I'm a man, so I can't be wrong, eh?

  • @Altair-El-Haddad
    @Altair-El-Haddad ปีที่แล้ว +157

    "i dont play games" is another way of saying "im tired of getting played by guys out of my league"

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It's always a game but not the same game if she goes in her league.

    • @Altair-El-Haddad
      @Altair-El-Haddad ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ClaudiaM-js6ol they're not men, they're cosplaying as women.

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Altair-El-Haddad Or it's just a case of believing an exception disproves a rule.

    • @LoveOneAnotherHeSaid
      @LoveOneAnotherHeSaid 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes. And also No.

  • @uncle0eric
    @uncle0eric ปีที่แล้ว +311

    "I don't play games" is just shorthand for "I'm tired of being pumped and dumped." That's it.

    • @PersianHotties
      @PersianHotties ปีที่แล้ว +17

      pumped and dumped by chads

    • @commentarytalk1446
      @commentarytalk1446 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      It's also a substitute for not being so high value due to look / running out of time being older. Ie her bartering position is weaker but wants to start with a high bid from a man despite that and has to say "I'm high value" instead of "being high value".

    • @vintagesteel
      @vintagesteel ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "you have to be able to make me laugh"=I'm a terrible conversationalist, with no sense of humor and you have to do all the talking

    • @nerdock4747
      @nerdock4747 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@commentarytalk1446 "Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."

  • @maggiejetson7904
    @maggiejetson7904 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    The traditional "I don't play games" relationship is called arranged marriage, done by parents with a rational head instead of the romantic heads of the lovers.

    • @RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb
      @RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yes 😂, yet women love to say they don't want mother men 🤷... Men like games just not mind games

    • @Tethloach1
      @Tethloach1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@RicksPhatPharm-vw2lb
      Which kind of games
      More mature games
      Less immature games

    • @Malachi_Padilla
      @Malachi_Padilla ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This

    • @learncadadia7832
      @learncadadia7832 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      "with a rational head, instead of a romantic head." 🏆

    • @alanguages
      @alanguages ปีที่แล้ว +13

      There was a study with pre-arranged marriages and they were more successful.

  • @johnandersson8258
    @johnandersson8258 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    ”I don’t play games” is such an indication of an aggressive, dominant, self-righteous personality. It feels like a way of immediately testing whether someone is going to be willing to take the blame for things that are messed up. Definitely a red flag screaming ugly defence mechanisms at work, because what’s implicated is that “so if something goes wrong it means you were dishonest and tricked me”. It honestly feels like a first little “abuse test” (as some people call it when dysfunctional people rage early in the relationship to test if the other’s boundries can be treaded upon safely or not).

  • @boogiemcsploogie
    @boogiemcsploogie ปีที่แล้ว +102

    When I hear "I don't play games" it generally means "The games are much more sophisticated than you're used to". Or it's a bluff, and there are in fact games, and they are just as transparent and juvenile as you would expect.

    • @jimjohnson394
      @jimjohnson394 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      What it means is "Now that I'm older with baggage and at a disadvantage in the dating market, men can now manipulate me like I used to manipulate men, and I don't like it'."

  • @pudimdecana51
    @pudimdecana51 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I love the old saying: "women have sex when they want to, and men have sex when they can. Men marry when they want to, and women marry when they can."

  • @Doberman_6773
    @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    "Hi - I frittered away the things you might value in a mate, but now you have the things I value in a mate, so 'game time' is over."
    The time for ultimatums is when *YOUR* value is highest.

  • @billyb4790
    @billyb4790 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Saying you don’t play games is kinda of a game in itself.

  • @remkojerphanion4686
    @remkojerphanion4686 ปีที่แล้ว +252

    If a woman says "I don't play games", I'm gone in a heart beat. That statement of hers, is already part of her "master plan". Giant Red Flag - RUN!

    • @Didi-fr5ic
      @Didi-fr5ic ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Ooof you have been hurt

    • @brycewilkins9421
      @brycewilkins9421 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      @@Didi-fr5ichey everyone. This a female using SIGN language. Instead of saying something about the argument she disagreed with, she instead insults the speaker. Real mature….

    • @jonathanstutzman8272
      @jonathanstutzman8272 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Got ‘em 🎉

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@brycewilkins9421 The comments for this video are going to have a good amount of female SIGN language, along with a fair amount of simping\white-knighting

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Didi-fr5ic Says the person who thinks Dr.Taraban really-really hates women Ha!
      U do realize u r projecting so hard, all the guys here can see your headlamp is flashing LOL

  • @inconnu4961
    @inconnu4961 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Allow me to piggyback on what the Good Doctor has already said excellently: I dont play games ACTUALLY means: i dont want YOU to play games with me! But everything else was said better than i could re-say it! Bravo!

    • @NobodyXSomebody
      @NobodyXSomebody ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Exactly! There are men that she would play "games" with, you're just not one of them.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Let me add to your addition that:
      I don't play games ACTUALLY means: i don't want YOU to play games with me, But I WILL be playing games with you!

  • @northernsegageorge6510
    @northernsegageorge6510 ปีที่แล้ว +144

    I'm a 40 year old guy and it's basically 90% of middle aged women on tinder UK say exactly that in their bio. Or the usual "my kids come first" "no hookups" and the general passive aggressive crap they spew.

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      All loking for security in a LTR.

    • @MVProfits
      @MVProfits ปีที่แล้ว +18

      "no hookups"... the number of times THEY initiated on 1st dates when they had that in their bio is crazy. "Believe all women". Yeah... right.

    • @BWater-yq3jx
      @BWater-yq3jx ปีที่แล้ว

      Zero originality.
      It's almost like women can't think for themselves...

    • @DrAsqueroso
      @DrAsqueroso ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahaha so true, the other standard bio line you missed from the UK "Lay'deeez" car crash sales pitch is "I don't need a man"

    • @Willie_Wahzoo
      @Willie_Wahzoo ปีที่แล้ว +5

      What's the matter, mate? Don't want to get in line for those used up tuna holes!?

  • @ShoaibKhan-rm6cv
    @ShoaibKhan-rm6cv ปีที่แล้ว +205

    While I don't have much dating experience, I can safely say this is 100% accurate. The reason is because over the last several years I decided to get serious about self improvement. This was partially altruistic but also partially because I sincerely wanted to be a better partner when I do get into a relationship. I learned how to cook, lift weights, speak a couple languages, and read a bunch of thick academic books. One of the side effects of picking up these skills is that you begin to realize that the many people make excuses or fail to plan for their failed goals. Thus, the default is to assume that most people are "cheap talk" and really aren't willing to put in the effort.
    Similarly in dating, I am not so naïve as to think that most women (or men for that matter) are so selfless and empathetic that they have actively been working on themselves so as to be a better relationship partner. Most just simply want their desires met, and are lazy about making the self-improvement to make their future-partner happy.
    I also think this applies to parenting- many people simply want to have kids cause “they want to”. They conveniently choose to ignore all the personal problems they have which will make the child’s life harder.
    All that matters is “I want kids & I don’t care if such kids have to live a hard life to satisfy this selfish.desire”

    • @arturocardona140
      @arturocardona140 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      One way I’ve heard it explained is that guys are generally chasing after women since they reach puberty. At that point in a woman’s life they receive preferential treatment, attention, gifts, offers, invites, etc regardless of how they perform in life. As a result of no longer having meaningful struggles or dealing with the full weight of failures they stop progressing. After all, daddy, bf’s, simps, or society will always coddle them to a degree while (in cases) being able to claim they are at a disadvantage.
      Without the experience of being rejected, having to try multiple times to achieve or acquire things, etc they of course become entitled and in many ways stunted. This is why when some women are asked or expected to have or provide something they don’t or can’t they become upset rather than defaulting to figuring out a way to improve.
      I know this comes off as very insulting to some to say but it explains much of the behavior. As usual, I end up putting the blame on men because otherwise it’s a victimhood mentality which isn’t usually something men allowed to have online. If we stop automatically giving women things for simply existing, being attractive, or whatever then they will actually be put in a position where accountability and having a growth mindset will have apparent value to them unlike how society currently has it where they can shamelessly make demands of men while men are discouraged to do the same.

    • @dona627
      @dona627 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Vcs dois estão absolutamente certos. Sou uma mulher brasileira mas homens e mulheres o são em qualquer parte do mundo e eu reconheço o poder do autoaperfeicoamento para crescermos.

    • @xyaeiounn
      @xyaeiounn ปีที่แล้ว

      Absolutely chilling. Did you do anything good WITH or FOR anyone? Nope, cooking, weights, reading, all self-centered. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or cleaning up part of your neighborhood. You sound like Elliot Rodgers ffs.

    • @Abdlex
      @Abdlex ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @ShoaibKhan-rm6cv
      Embarking on a long self-improvement quest? Remember, reading heavy academic books or learning a few languages won’t magically make you a great partner. Real growth happens in the thick of a relationship. It’s about knowing your flaws, working on them, and figuring out how to handle and resolve conflicts. You can't learn that from a book. Sure, you can read up on it, but it's not the same as living it.
      A lot of folks who take these long self-improvement trips are actually dodging relationships. They convince themselves they need to be "better" before they dive in. But no successful business was ever built by being perfect from the start. They all grew and got better over time.

    • @Ghost-airlines
      @Ghost-airlines ปีที่แล้ว

      all this just for 1 vagina smh

  • @carvesnow
    @carvesnow ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Exactly correct...."I dont play games", means give me what I want. So true, every time, every time.

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And it means that they do, in fact, play games and just want to disguise that fact so they have you playing their game. Which makes them the problem as soon as they say that

  • @JAdams-jx5ek
    @JAdams-jx5ek ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Well said.
    For me, "I don't play games" has always led to me walking away from the speaker.
    It is such an obvious lie that the person is now marked as completely untrustworthy.

  • @RyanPatrickFlanagan
    @RyanPatrickFlanagan ปีที่แล้ว +75

    Starting at the 1:03 mark and ending at the 1:22 mark perfectly defines this whole topic. Might not be a bad idea to clip that portion into a TH-cam short. A lot of women and men need to hear that. Another home run Doctor! Thank you!

  • @chahailus
    @chahailus ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I know a million women who could benefit from this video but I pissed enough off this summer. This channel gives me so much food for thought and plenty to journal about in the 6 languages I'm learning. Thanks for this video. I love it!

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "Don't waste my time" is womanese.

    • @RichObiQuan
      @RichObiQuan ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good job, hopefully you find a respectable masculine man.

    • @Michael_Arnold
      @Michael_Arnold ปีที่แล้ว

      Searching 6 countries for 1 man

    • @chahailus
      @chahailus ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Michael_Arnold 🤣 Learning languages is my passion. This channel is enlightening and entertaining.

    • @Michael_Arnold
      @Michael_Arnold ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @chahailus Which 6?
      (I dabble in Czech, Russian, Spanish, Irish, French, Italian and German. Still haven't found the girl).

  • @d.e.b.b5788
    @d.e.b.b5788 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    When I first got divorced, many first dates (women) would come right out and ask me if I was serious about dating with the intention of getting married. When I replied, 'I barely know you, and you want me to promise that we're going to get married?' and they were almost always angry that I dared to ask that question. I, of course, would still try to be civil, but it was always the first, and last date with her.

  • @whocarescrapsa
    @whocarescrapsa ปีที่แล้ว +29

    This usually comes from older women. They love playing games when they are young and in their prime. In my experience, they usually start saying this stuff when they want to settle down. "I DONT play games" actually means "I can no longer play games" and compete with the younger girls. Co-incidentally, as men accumulate more wealth and we become more attractive to women, and are so sick and tired of being stuffed around - this becomes our chance to play games.

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      BINGO - The game is fun when they have the upper hand; when the tables turn, they're no longer interested in playing.

    • @Tushar_Talwar_09
      @Tushar_Talwar_09 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ​@@Doberman_6773
      Yup they hate a taste of their own medicine.

    • @LoveOneAnotherHeSaid
      @LoveOneAnotherHeSaid 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes. Paydirt.

  • @robwozniak9912
    @robwozniak9912 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    I always hear "I don't play games" as "Let the games begin!"

    • @MrRmcbigboss
      @MrRmcbigboss ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Player! 🙌

    • @nnndddzzz1
      @nnndddzzz1 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jigsaw😈

    • @kdm28
      @kdm28 ปีที่แล้ว

      Reverse Uno 🤣

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My inner ear often hears Triple H's entrance music...

    • @Yt-user65000
      @Yt-user65000 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same with “I don’t do hookups.”
      Um, ma’am, If you have to say that in your profile, you definitely do hookups.

  • @AlaricsFather-in-Law-em8kz
    @AlaricsFather-in-Law-em8kz ปีที่แล้ว +23

    The good doc is killing it lately!

    • @bearclaw5115
      @bearclaw5115 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He's been killing it!

  • @cel99
    @cel99 ปีที่แล้ว +416

    7:20 "People don't get what they deserve, they get what they negotiate."
    Now thats a great quote man!

    • @abrahambobst4602
      @abrahambobst4602 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Or what they tolerate.

    • @adiosmiamigo
      @adiosmiamigo ปีที่แล้ว +7

      They get what they can afford

    • @xyaeiounn
      @xyaeiounn ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's a great quote if he's a psychopath. Real humans appreciate more than they calculate or evaluate.

    • @raymondrivera2670
      @raymondrivera2670 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      ​@@xyaeiounn disagree. A lot of people take things for granted

    • @Ghost-airlines
      @Ghost-airlines ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@xyaeiounn unfortuantely, thats not how the real world works

  • @andrewcliffe4753
    @andrewcliffe4753 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Absolutely true as an 82 year old bystander

  • @PinkyPlayBear
    @PinkyPlayBear ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This actually makes sense. "I don't play games" is similar to a seller saying "THIS IS NOT A SCAM" and takes your money.
    A person saying he doesn't play games is scamming you to use you.

  • @samwellington2330
    @samwellington2330 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    I burst into laughter at the analogy 😂

  • @cwmoser
    @cwmoser ปีที่แล้ว +52

    The terminology "games" was not used when I was in the dating mode in the 1970s. I initially stated "I'm not looking for marriage", and my future wife said she wasn't either. Couple years later she put her foot down stating this relationship is going nowhere and if we don't get engaged she was going to end it and date others. I caved in and have been happily married for 48 years. I guess she played the "rope a dope" strategy and we both came out winners 🙂

    • @yarnarrutor9418
      @yarnarrutor9418 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Takes up to 18 months with a woman to see whether her 'estrobeast' is too toxic for commitment. You had enough time to view her behavior.

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Did you have other options at the time?

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Well there is the old saying, behind every proposal is an ultimatum

    • @LB-ru4xs
      @LB-ru4xs ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Good for you that it worked out, my guy! Wish you much success and happiness for the rest of your days!

    • @gottrekk5798
      @gottrekk5798 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Respect !

  • @toby1a
    @toby1a ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Amazing! I haven't come up against this often but I do hear it a lot from my female friends and they deserve to know that they are starting a negotiation not a relationship with that line. Thank you for this video! I definitely will use this information going forward

    • @kingofnewyork007
      @kingofnewyork007 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      why do you have female friends? what do they do for you?

  • @stevearnold8265
    @stevearnold8265 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    This is the same on a dating app as “No Hookups!” There is in fact hookups, just not for you. Never take what a woman says about what she wants serious. Women put value and self worth on the way they think you think about them, simple as. This is why a lot of women say they are a 10.

    • @jonb8633
      @jonb8633 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Exactly, no hookups with u. You need to go through hoops and multiple dates. But chad will score right away.

    • @Philosific
      @Philosific ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lmao i always find this funny cause i find most of my hookups with women who are looking for serious relationships

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @dimaanojam Using a hook-up to set the hook; don't get MeToo'ed...

    • @stevearnold8265
      @stevearnold8265 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@Philosific Agreed. If there was truly no hook ups they wouldn't have to state it. It would just be the way she operates.

  • @Adefe09
    @Adefe09 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This channel is GOLD!

  • @Itsjustagamesong
    @Itsjustagamesong ปีที่แล้ว +46

    😂😂😂 You are so good 🎯 Thank you for bringing a great sense of humor to the embarrassment of relationship trial and errors.

  • @marriagecausesdivorce7540
    @marriagecausesdivorce7540 ปีที่แล้ว +407

    "i don't play games" = I chased after Chad and Tyrone in my 20's. I gave myself completely to them and got nothing in return. I'm now traumatized, in my 30's and running out of time. I want a stable, dad bod, beta provider who I can marry without a pre-nup so I have the leverage. Take it or I'm moving onto my next target.

    • @christosangelidakis
      @christosangelidakis ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Well said brother. And I really love your nickname man haha!

    • @PersianHotties
      @PersianHotties ปีที่แล้ว +16

      spot on

    • @commentarytalk1446
      @commentarytalk1446 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      GAME OVER!

    • @bkthedefbeatz
      @bkthedefbeatz ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Translated the womanese like a true master

    • @Eriecartel
      @Eriecartel ปีที่แล้ว +12

      i was in this situation even just before we started dating they were still in hoe mode sending nudes to co workers but once we started dating she played the innocent victim card on me and she was beautiful and i would of probably fell for it too but i just couldnt get past her shallow standofish personality. Not my job to fix you do it yourself

  • @JonCail24
    @JonCail24 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This channel man….a gift to all

  • @positivelynegative9149
    @positivelynegative9149 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This does fit with my experience.
    I've never played games. As a result, I'm a 45-year old man that has dated 3 women, for a combined total of less than 1 year of time.

  • @oohchild510
    @oohchild510 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yee. Just gotta chime in one time and say your consistent delivery and clear concepts are appreciated. Peace from Asia.

  • @antirealist
    @antirealist ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Jeez, Ryan is having give us (both men and women) the parental advice our own parents were too lazy, timid, or unknowledgeable to give us.
    He's not the father we all deserve but the one we need.

  • @paolocosmo6310
    @paolocosmo6310 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    another home run! Thank you Dr. Orion!

  • @hideyasuyuki1
    @hideyasuyuki1 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The answer to what do you get is me. Some women can be so arrogant. They clearly see tangible benefits from pairing with you but don’t have a reasonable proposition. Strong arming someone into a relationship is a oxymoron. Relationships are romanticized to be reciprocal, romantic and natural.

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Women love opportunistically while men love idealistically." ― RT

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mbg9650 "Men are in love, women are in business" - CGA (?)

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Let me fix that:
      Relationships are romanticized so it doesn't have to be reciprocal

    • @Philosific
      @Philosific ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol the secret is women think you think of them the way they think you think of them.
      The bad boy succeeds cause he meets that arrogance with the same level 😂

  • @davidmitchell6873
    @davidmitchell6873 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I had a woman tel me to take her as she is or watch her as she leaves. I watched her as she left lol.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You should let her watch u as you leave

    • @maxlogan7388
      @maxlogan7388 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@joshg854😂leave on the spot !

  • @oncheugbabe6509
    @oncheugbabe6509 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dr. Orion, you're a great guy. You're brilliant, and your way of teaching enshrines clarity in communication.
    I will pray for you; and I pray your message reaches those who need to hear it and is well received while it is still of good benefit to them and to the world around them.
    Well done again!!!

  • @ernestoalessio6508
    @ernestoalessio6508 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Brillante y sencilla explicación del "complejo juego amoroso",

  • @Francisco23997
    @Francisco23997 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Really loved this episode! Everyone plays games. No wonder that the set of strategies to seduce someone is called "game".

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is one of the few this doctor has gotten right. Everyone plays games, that’s why I laugh when someone complains about them

  • @AchBarakah
    @AchBarakah 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Your wisdom is invaluable. Peace and love all the way from South Africa.

  • @Dev-qs2yb
    @Dev-qs2yb ปีที่แล้ว +69

    If you play the game with their rules, you already lost. They want you to fail so they can justify looking for a better option, they want the best of the best.

    • @inconnu4961
      @inconnu4961 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And they do NOT want to pay a lot for this muffler!

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why would anyone be stupid enough to play a woman’s games when they’ve never earned the power to implement them?

    • @adnanrizkyfauzi8592
      @adnanrizkyfauzi8592 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      well I'm a simple person, if she start playing games, I'm used to following their rules, just keep calm and observe the game, she's gonna confused at the end of the game
      trust me they don't know where the game going to, they just feel that's fun to do. nothing else

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@inconnu4961 They want *YOU* to pay full price for their muffler, which is often rusted-out and leaking carbon monoxide into the passenger compartment.

  • @litjellyfish
    @litjellyfish ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Reason why you don’t get an answer is of course that you present it as offer :)
    If one states exactly the same as you did but follow up with “so let’s skip the game. How do you see a serious relationship? What do you see the man and the woman contributing to it from each side”
    She would be stalled at first of course but would then be telling what she wants.
    After that she would either continue what she feels a man should have or you need to ask her that.
    She will then most likely bring up some items but miss out on a lot a man expects - and here we come to what you asked - what has she to offer but you state it
    - great. I totally agree with you and I also would love that a woman does : xxxx items.
    She will most likely still not like the hear about the things she left out from what she has to offer but and this is the big BUT
    she has already willingly told her expectations of this non game playing and she can’t complain now when you express yours. And if she declines some it would look unfavorable for her so regardless you have come to a point where both expectations are shared

    • @commentarytalk1446
      @commentarytalk1446 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly you're calling her bluff and asking her to put the full value of her cards on the table...

    • @litjellyfish
      @litjellyfish ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@commentarytalk1446 yes exactly! I don’t even see it as a bluff from her side. She is honest. It’s just the she has mostly her own interests in mind. So this is a bit sneaky way to just gently nudge her to put all the cards she has on the table. And then add the cards you yourself feel are missing (ideally of course one should not need to do that - instead like wow she has all the cards I want and more - A keeper!) and then like asking “you know this is what not playing a game means from both our pov - are you still up for it?”

    • @commentarytalk1446
      @commentarytalk1446 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@litjellyfish To quote The Warriors: "Can You Dig It?" ;-)

    • @litjellyfish
      @litjellyfish ปีที่แล้ว

      @@commentarytalk1446 but she said NO GAME? I though warriors said “come out and play!” 😅😎

  • @bellatindale3120
    @bellatindale3120 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    It's like when a man tells you that he's a totally honest person, then you know for sure he's not 😂

    • @maijensen3317
      @maijensen3317 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Or if a man tells you that he is a good man😅..........run

    • @msc8382
      @msc8382 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Please elaborate what you mean. It almost sounds like you're generalizing men or you're being too liberal with the meaning of 'honest'.
      Through thick and thin, I'm a totally honest person. Even now I'm not backing down on that.
      How and why are you currently sure I'm being dishonest right now? Totally honest means at all times with no compromise that can be prevented.
      Are you saying no men has ever consistently said the truth to you? Or perhaps that you may not be capable of seeing the truths men live by?
      Just curious, please leave a reaction. I'd like to know what drove you to write such a message under a psychology channel meant to improve relationships with people no less.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sounds like the men YOU dated my dear
      Amongst man, if they say their are honest we give them a chance 2 be honest, if they are they are, if they aren't they aren't
      The difference is ALL women play games when they say they don't, because everyone has to play the game of love
      But not ALL man are dishonest if they say they are honest

    • @robicelus
      @robicelus ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @bellatindale3120 who hurt you dear?

    • @ndhtyu
      @ndhtyu ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Very girlish and emotional thinking

  • @Mike-xq7ib
    @Mike-xq7ib 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I loved this episode! It might be my favorite, Orion. Excellent points, and of course, you point out the obvious in a surprisingly thought-provoking way, which I appreciate for the benefit I imagine it will have in a magical world I construct in my mind.
    Hey, the war is won one battle at a time.

  • @thepassdude5173
    @thepassdude5173 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I think that transparency is great. These women saying this helps me to avoid wasting my time, resources, and emotions. Like a warning ☢️ sign helping me to avoid a minefield 😂😂😂

  • @jasongravely7217
    @jasongravely7217 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    @2:21 holy shit I love this. Orion you’re the man, I’ve already learned so much from you and I’m very glad you kept going through the first year to get to where you reached me. Thank you, sir.

  • @pazzodi3
    @pazzodi3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    This is amazing, I recently had that conversation with a woman this weekend.. I asked her what she had to offer... She was completely confused and had no answer lol

    • @tkr212
      @tkr212 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sounds about right. Im pretty much convinced at this point, that modern western women really, actually believe that they don't need to bring anything at all, but boobs & puss and their drama. Entitlement is out of the scale.

    • @pazzodi3
      @pazzodi3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tkr212 I don't see it as a negative thing. I think if one can articulate ones ideas the women will follow a man that's admirable. I think it's a great position for a man to be when he can lead.

    • @xyaeiounn
      @xyaeiounn ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Maybe she's one of those weirdos that doesn't see every human interaction in a transactional sense? You know, that weird 98% of humanity.

    • @Doberman_6773
      @Doberman_6773 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@xyaeiounn A sizable minority, if not an outright majority, of that 98% behave transactionally while their 'views' are filtered thru delusions - delusions that are similar to those being pointed out by Dr. Taraban in his video, as well as by the OP.
      Engaging with things as they truly are sometimes makes people *feel* bad, so they try to sidestep those *feelings*

    • @pazzodi3
      @pazzodi3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@xyaeiounn since the moment we are born; our families, communities, nations teach us to become useful. If you want to name that transactional, then name it that.. I name it being beneficial. Why some individuals only want to think of their own interest and not how they will help others is insane. The best way to produce anything that functions is to understand what we have to offer. That is humility and peacefulness. That is love and care.

  • @jamescummings5290
    @jamescummings5290 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks!

  • @ppumpkin3282
    @ppumpkin3282 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    "I don't play games" means: "I have a high body count and I'm tired of getting run thru and I'm looking for a poor chump who will take me off the streets.". Run, run, run.

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Beta provider can't be poor even when she's independent (of men).

  • @cadetcadet1814
    @cadetcadet1814 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This man DOESN'T MISS!! I have bingeing your videos and sharing them like crazy. Literally begin all conversation on dating app giving an option of starting off strong or wasting time small talking. If she wants to small talk, let's me know she isn't that serious in her search

  • @drich8806
    @drich8806 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As a car salesman that was such a great analogy! We will get people come in and say “I don’t want to go back and forth”.
    Me: ok so you’re fine with paying sticker price?
    Them: of course not
    It’s not that they don’t want to play games, it’s they want to play games on THEIR terms on an uneven playing field.

    • @ralphpinkins5619
      @ralphpinkins5619 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly. Playing games is a womans strategy to try to get a something for nothing deal. But nothing in life is something for nothing and if it is, you will quickly lose that thing.

  • @KayFlowidity
    @KayFlowidity ปีที่แล้ว

    4:35 👌👌👌
    6:45 Value Proposition
    7:55 Explicit Negotiation

  • @bastardferret869
    @bastardferret869 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I always translated "I don't play games" as "at LEAST 50 men have used me as a sexual punching bag."

  • @kiwiviking175
    @kiwiviking175 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yet again, king of the road! Well played sir, well played.

  • @saintoflastresorts2272
    @saintoflastresorts2272 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I usually disqualify myself after a girl says this. It's one of my favorite times to give her the gift of assurance that I am captain of this ship.

  • @thorrhunter2394
    @thorrhunter2394 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You are good...even very inspiring!
    You can put your finger on something that most men will sense in their gut, but don't know how to deal with intelligently without transforming themselves into a ridiculous caricature at that moment... let alone expressing it verbally.

  • @joshnguyen7164
    @joshnguyen7164 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The comments on your page are so interesting. I always find your video balanced, non-hateful, and helpful from a neutral standpoint where you don't really berate women. The comments however always feel hateful, bitter, & resentful. I'm glad there's a space that these feelings can be vented out as you're probably validating a lot of these men's experiences, but I'm wondering when the comments will turn the other way.

    • @Richard_AKL
      @Richard_AKL ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Explain?

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว

      I actually find the comments mostly humorously liberating instead of hateful, lighthearted and taken with a grain of salt sharing even after bad or even horrific experiences faced by the men here instead of bitter, and most important affirming the truth of the video with actual examples like mini-case study with duration and what happened

    • @exnihilonihilfit6316
      @exnihilonihilfit6316 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Never. Mainly the trash, unthinking devils from the (metaphorical) ghetto comment on the netz.
      Healthy people are too busy living their nice life with their healthy friends.
      These self-destructive ethical monsters here on the other side are too busy being ruled by their emotions, based on non-objective, sexist (in-group vs out-group double standards) convictions. Coming up with an objective moral code valid for both sides/genders was just too much mental effort for them.

  • @csx6910
    @csx6910 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    It means she only wants to play _her_ games.

    • @marriagecausesdivorce7540
      @marriagecausesdivorce7540 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "I dont play games" = I only play 1 game. Do as I say and give me marriage, kids and financial security while I still have 1 more year of beauty left, or get lost while I am still pretty enough to secure another beta provider.

  • @NilsMacQ
    @NilsMacQ ปีที่แล้ว +11

    That was so fun, I laughed deeply

  • @keithmoriyama5421
    @keithmoriyama5421 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    "I don't play games" then they play games. Women wrote the book on game playing.

    • @allenlin7333
      @allenlin7333 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "I don't play games" is just the first half. second half is "but you better still be playing"

    • @TheRizzrd
      @TheRizzrd ปีที่แล้ว

      @@allenlin7333 💯💯🎯

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is why I laugh when woman complain that I play games. They had no problem doing the same to all the other losers out there, now you complain that I do it? That just means I’m that much better

  • @ephemer7942
    @ephemer7942 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I want to add that a woman who has genuine "burning" desire for a man would ensure to let only things out of her mouth that she expects are kind of appealing to her object of interest. I dare to state that "I don't play games" does not belong to a womans "charming speak". If she uses this, she does not care enough, feels narcissiticly entitled or is already hurt and disillusioned, not being able to get to know each other romantically, already exhausted by the discrepancy of past experiences vs expectations.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is feel is 100% true in a face 2 face engagement.
      What I have found is that dating apps are riddle with this statement by women in their 30s and older, but when I actually go on a date with a younger women in here 20s, I have personally never heard a single one of them ask me this

  • @alexlitill2315
    @alexlitill2315 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Relationship should be before being intimate with someone, people should go out, have fun and enjoy. Not otherwise.

    • @mbg9650
      @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Are you ready for an awakening?

  • @ChrisPTY507
    @ChrisPTY507 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Whenever a woman says "I DON'T play GAMES", always add "with you" at the end.
    It makes far more sense and takes out all unnecessary fluff or mental gymnastics she might try to pull on you.
    As commonly known: women break rules for alphas, makes them for betas. She will play ANY game if she has burning desire for you.
    it could mean that she has done terrible choices in life and now expects you to jump thru her hoops because of the trauma she developed for making her own bad decisions. crazy, huh?

  • @JB-kx9bx
    @JB-kx9bx ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It's like a guy saying outloud how confident he is. If you have to say it you're probably the opposite.
    "Any man who must say I am the king is no true king" -Tywin Lannister

  • @maheraref7289
    @maheraref7289 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I come from a middle eastern culture where you get one relationship one marriage one job most of the time which leads to a lack of experience in dating in knowing how people are and also in preparing for the demands and betrayal and lies of the partner or future partner. And my good friends, when i see your comments and your understanding of the human psychology, all i can say is bravo . You read a lot , and search a lot , also admit your mistakes after analysing and perceiving. So you go deep in the tunnel of living and enlightenment. .as an arabic man who lived with Americans and Brasilians for a long time , i think that getting in relationships and admiring people and not having sex until marriage is the best part of it . Not for religious reasons or social one, but this secret need reflection meditation observation not seeking pleasures and copying others but letting the seeds of pleasure and the sunshine of joy and smell of nirvana chase you after knowing the distance between the spirit and the soul .

  • @StrongBodymindandspirit
    @StrongBodymindandspirit ปีที่แล้ว +7

    “Willing to share”
    “Open to relationships”
    🤣🤣🤣

  • @Vantitas
    @Vantitas ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Any woman that says that they don’t play any games are usually the same ones that perform shit tests on their man to add some unnecessary chaos into the relationship if they’re bored.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Interesting observation, I find all women eventually shit test until you have put your foot down after passing all their test

  • @paulwilson6511
    @paulwilson6511 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I don't like drama, means they cause nothing but drama in relationships. I don't like games, means they are major game-players. I don't cheat, I've only done it four times.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup pretty much, except those who say the don't have sex, cause that means they don't plan to have that with you, they decided that already and accidentally that slipped out LOL

  • @YourManifoldWorld
    @YourManifoldWorld ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Women NEVER expect to give ANYTHING in a relationship.
    YOU are expected to give her everything.
    This is how Women see relationships. "What can I get".

    • @joshuarasmussen641
      @joshuarasmussen641 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m a dude and think the same way, interesting that.

    • @joshg854
      @joshg854 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@joshuarasmussen641You don't have a choice, in the modern western dating environment it's full of shitty people, if u don't set higher frame, your game will be weak and it's just a lose lose situation
      What I have seen is a man who approaches w "What can I get", usually end up with a fairer exchange and get reciprocation from the women, because i can guarantee you women will always ask even if you can get her to give

    • @LondonMike791
      @LondonMike791 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      As a man over 40, this is 100%. Women only care what you can provide. The only love you will find is in the friendship of other men. Took me too long to figure this out.

    • @Sadi-oh1jh
      @Sadi-oh1jh ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@joshuarasmussen641 : even in woman /woman friendship she expect something: you be her supportive listener allowing her crap & be her flying monkey to fight her ennemy & lend her money& give her stuffs. Most of the time she don't reciprocate any of these gifts and services. She will give out something whenever she feel, i am retiring from the frienship, as a bait to keep me attached.

    • @deezworld2318
      @deezworld2318 ปีที่แล้ว

      A relationship with a woman, in it's natural state, is TOXIC for a man. They can't love us back. Apparently, nature forbids it.

  • @lukaskopia
    @lukaskopia ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks!

  • @elsef6798
    @elsef6798 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I salute you! The honesty is so refreshing and you’re absolutely right about the transactional reality. As a woman I would like to purchase you for a relationship, how much do I need to bring? (will cash be ok?) I do however expect a 25% discount after hearing your singing voice.

  • @dobromirrisov6755
    @dobromirrisov6755 ปีที่แล้ว

    Danke!

  • @ALForb
    @ALForb ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I've never heard someone say "I don't play games". I did this crazy thing where I tended spend my free time with people I actually like and share values with, and then I maintained this criteria while looking for a suitable partner. It took me some time, but I did find someone who I truly enjoy being around and they enjoy being around me, and wow, all these negotiations and "games" turned out to be easy and enjoyable and non-adversarial, because hey, we both wanted sex and we both got it and we both wanted a relationship and we both got it. It's almost as if we're both well-adjusted adults who found eachother because we were each selecting for similarly non-superficial values. Crazy stuff!

    • @jimjohnson394
      @jimjohnson394 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Look through the singles ads in your local newspaper, there are plenty women that say this.

    • @ppumpkin3282
      @ppumpkin3282 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Be careful. When you fall in love the chemicals take over.

    • @ALForb
      @ALForb ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jimjohnson394 My comment was meant illustrate, admittedly in a smug manner, that I've oriented myself and built an interpersonal life in such a way as to avoid interacting with anyone who'd say such a thing. Perhaps I should have specified that I've never heard it in person, as it's indeed a cliché that reaches all corners of media.

    • @ALForb
      @ALForb ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ppumpkin3282 The chemicals are always in charge, my friend. The question is, will it be oxytocin or cortisol. Also, I'm 10 years into the relationship. The chemicals you're concerned about aren't in complete control now, but I'd hate to see them leave the room completely.

    • @ALForb
      @ALForb ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Consumer0001 I get it out of my system in youtube comments sections. I recommend it.

  • @claudia8801
    @claudia8801 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is brilliant! SO TRUE. Thanks again 🎉

  • @DrBilly90210
    @DrBilly90210 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Agree! Statement is pure bull$hit.
    Started dating after divorce at 50. Variation i heard most often was "Im too old to play games." My experience was that the woman was often "a gal who once was", i.e. a faded beauty who still thought her looks could get her anything. Also seemed to me an indicator that any relationship with her was going to be strictly transactional, with no true desire.

  • @rootlessnurse6345
    @rootlessnurse6345 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Doc, this was your best video! Thank you.

  • @cleanslate2247
    @cleanslate2247 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    This is so on point. I'm literally going through this RIGHT NOW. Me and my wife are seperated and she wants me back. But she REALLY doesn't want to answer this question. WHAT AM I GETTING TO GET IN RETURN FOR MOVING BACK IN AND COMMITTING AGAIN????? She won't address this and so we are playing games. Who texts first, says I love you first, buys what for whom and how much sex and how intense the sex goes up and down.......

    • @jackdeniston59
      @jackdeniston59 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Walk. It is perfectly reasonable.

    • @amandaburleson2035
      @amandaburleson2035 ปีที่แล้ว

      well thats what youre getting, games. and you love that she lives rent free in your head. or maybe you just like getting punched in the gut.. one shot per girl per lifetime, move on bozo

    • @kimsmith7212
      @kimsmith7212 ปีที่แล้ว

      HOPEFULLY A BETTER COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, MY ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION FROM THE OUTSIDE

    • @cleanslate2247
      @cleanslate2247 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kimsmith7212 Well she's talking to her male coworkers about their penises so I'm thinking better commitment isn't in the cards for me.......Oh and she is the one who first wanted the divorce. Then changed her mind after I moved out.

    • @user-uc7qb1su4e
      @user-uc7qb1su4e ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Don’t do it

  • @Will_i_Am7507
    @Will_i_Am7507 ปีที่แล้ว

    Grazie.

  • @drmatthewhorkey
    @drmatthewhorkey ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Over the last few years, I've always called BS in response to this... After my rationale and explaining that you have to learn to 'dance', women usually drop the front and agree...

  • @chelseafarrant400
    @chelseafarrant400 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I found the delivery of this comparison quite funny. So logical and straightforward. It's interesting how many women today believe they deserve to have it all 'just because'. I personally am more than willing to cook and clean and do all the things in exchange for it.

  • @alexanderpons9246
    @alexanderpons9246 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Great topic Dr, Taraban! Question and funny how towards the end you mentioned arranged marriages because I wonder if collectively as a society feeding into the "and they lived happily ever after" mentality we are actually complicating things.

  • @awsiewgeck4501
    @awsiewgeck4501 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks

  • @legiontepes3474
    @legiontepes3474 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Spot on. Women are terrible with direct communication and usually get burned when you are straight and clear with them.

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว

      Their fault for letting themselves get burned so easily

    • @legiontepes3474
      @legiontepes3474 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@marcusmcgraw3519 it's an ego thing. They don't want be scolded even when wrong and want the truth sugarcoated when painful.

    • @marcusmcgraw3519
      @marcusmcgraw3519 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@legiontepes3474 well of course not. But that’s never stopped me from being the one to do it. I will lay into a damn woman if she’s a problem. I don’t care how she feels. She’ll respect me more for it later on

    • @legiontepes3474
      @legiontepes3474 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marcusmcgraw3519 💯📠 same

  • @AkiemEL
    @AkiemEL ปีที่แล้ว

    Genius Response. That really exposes, that they really have nothing to offer.

  • @tedlogan4867
    @tedlogan4867 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "I don't play games" is the same sort of statement as "I am the table"... it is a pre-emptive statement designed to eliminate any and all critique of anything they do. They are setting themselves up to be righteous in everything.

  • @GregsWorkshopOregon
    @GregsWorkshopOregon ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Don’t know if anyone else has seen it, but the marriage negotiation scene from “News Radio” was an amazing thing to see. Look it up.

  • @toony3000
    @toony3000 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    "I don't want to play games" is a cheap parlour trick women use to disarm potential victims and quickly work out maximum benefits to be obtain for the minimum effort required on her side!

    • @commentarytalk1446
      @commentarytalk1446 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It's a lot worse than that, it's vast majority either or a combination of:
      1) Burnt-out due to chasing chad and losing so "Plan B-eta" and if a baby-mama already Min-Max Strategy Alpha-Fs and Beta-Bs
      2) Her Ego is desperate to keep the illusion she's still High Value and a Man has to prove high value to justify her so she feels in control of the relationship, still able to ego-trip ie the Man is the one who's "gaing so much" by having sloppy-seconds...

  • @michaelpilos
    @michaelpilos 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Honesty! Brilliant & Authentic 💙

  • @jamiethomas3122
    @jamiethomas3122 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    "I don't play games" and "Not here for hook ups" is what i suspect are phrases women use more to convince themselves rather than a potential partner. It also implies that they have indeed let men use them for sex and then gotten discarded in the past, which is a double doo doo judging from the perspective of a man looking to date her. It also shows that she doesn't know/care what men are actually looking for in a partner because if she did, she wouldn't flaunt this kind of fatal flaw.

    • @bearclaw5115
      @bearclaw5115 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Bro, that's as good as anything in the video!

    • @ABC-ho5jo
      @ABC-ho5jo 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If a woman has used a man in the past does that make him less worthy!?

    • @jamiethomas3122
      @jamiethomas3122 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@ABC-ho5jo If he advertises that trauma as part of his armor when meeting women, like the example i mentioned i guess it might. Blaming new people you meet for what people in the past did to you just shows a lack of maturity and accountability to deal with negative experiences in a healthy way imo

  • @skiptomylou011
    @skiptomylou011 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's interesting how easily it's thrown around and how offputting it it, but I could never quite put a finger on it since it's so universally accepted now. You're doing the Lord's work, doc.

  • @mbg9650
    @mbg9650 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "I don't play game", i.e. I want security, commitment, I'm in a transactional mindset. "BTW, here are my rules." Guys, remember: she make rules for Beta & break rules for... you know who.