The brother is clearly in the wrong. Lola has sensory issues, autism, she overstimulates easily. The brother is completely insensitive here, OP is wrong for saying the brother was doing harmless pranks up until the spider mask “prank”. This was serious to her, she was genuinely hurt by these “harmless pranks”. He got attacked after scaring the life out of a SLEEPING girl with sensory issues. He’s 100% in the wrong for any of this, even the “pranks” he did beforehand.
I'm neurodivergent myself and I just realized this might be the reason I hate pranks so much. My little brother did some relatively harmless ones when we were growing up, but it did often make me uncomfortable and once in particular made me have a breakdown. He didn't really prank me after that. I'm glad people agree that the previous pranking should have also been taken seriously, especially by OP, and it makes me feel mad for the girl that he didn't. Our feelings so often get invalidated. That must've been a horrible experience for her.
@@sipi2009 I’m glad your brother ended up stopping but sorry to hear you had to have a panic attack for that to happen. I grew up undiagnosed and and my sister liked pranks so it bothered me a bit that no one acknowledged that the previous pranks weren’t harmless either and were just saying that the brother was in the wrong for scaring her.
@@kimlaybe9832 fr people usually say like “i would defend her bla bla bla” but in reality most of them literally just stands still not knowing what to do
The fact that OP took his gf DESPERATION as being " dramatic " is all i need. Bro really thought he could have something with her when he can’t even take her problems seriously 😭😭
She asked OP to tell his brother to leave her alone and stop harassing her. He didn't. He saw his brother follow his girlfriend to bed and thought nothing of it. When he heard screaming and saw what was happening he just stood there. OP either has some serious brain lag or he's just ignorant because its known his brother liked to harass her and yet he did nothing about it, then when the altercation happens he somehow doesn't figure his brother was once again harassing her and this time pushed her past breaking, instead thinking she just for some reason randomly attacked his brother... Who followed her to bed... Who was known to harass her... It makes no sense to me I'm glad they broke up because clearly OP doesn't know how to be in a relationship with someone who has autism, and had a worryingly low desire to protect a girlfriend from being harassed (regardless of autism or not I'd expect anyone to stand up for their partner and listen to them when they voice a concern or discomfort, not just stand there and ignore it) OP isn't a particularly bad guy but he for sure made a lot of bad decisions and needs to seriously re-evaluate himself before looking for another relationship I hope she lives safe and happy And I hope the brother learned his damn lesson
I know how it is to be in a relationship with an autistic girl, and believe me, it's harder than it looks, I struggle everyday to keep the relationship going but some actions she does that I mention to her, but still does them makes me reconsider be in a relationship or not, this may sound that I'm in the wrong but I could say some backstory but I won't bc of consent and that kind of bs
You can't just know how to be in a relationship with an autistic person because they are all different and have different fears or things they can't handle
Regardless of autism or not he did not protect his partner from something that clearly made her uncomfortable, this goes beyond autism, because he ignored major issues and dismissed her concerns which was incredibly wrong *This is not about autism at this point*
@@rachelthornberry1240 but the thing is if U had watched the full thing is that he was not trying to take sides without knowing the context and he even said that if he had know th context he would have stuck up for her and wouldve said something he froze up and didn't know what to do it can happen really easily to anyone especially in a situation like this
@@nadamuches8864 I did watch the whole video, that's how I know they broke up, it still doesn't change the fact that he made a lot of mistakes and failed to listen to her concerns about his brother, and for some reason didn't think his brother *following her to bed* was an issue
OP was in the wrong from the start, knowing that your girlfriend is autistic and has sensory issues, and also her begging you to tell your brother to stop picking on her with his "jokes" is not so protective of you as a boyfriend who only wanted to protect her. if you adored her so much then you would've done more gestures to reassure her that you were on her side, and you especially messed up when you didnt do anything in that situation. you heard a loud scream and you know your girlfriend was asleep before that scream. you only see your brother in that room with her. and you're stuck at "oh theyre the two closest people to me i cant pick a side!" i get it, i'm close to my siblings too. but i am also really stern when it comes to these issues. maybe you weren't being an asshole, but you were doing nothing when an actual one pestered your girlfriend. i'm glad she left the relationship, she doesn't deserve that.
yeah like as soon as she screamed and he saw his brother he should've said something and been there for her so I'm glad she broke up with him she deserves better
@@Biofishy oh, yea of course! i'm not trying to say he's a bad person, it's just that what he did was wrong for the victim. it was super insensitive and inconsiderate, but he probably never thought about it that deeply to begin with (which is how things lead to where it got). lack of action just made things worse when it could've been better if he reacted sooner.
@@7Kazi7i think you're commenting on the wrong reddit story bud, he didn't sacrifice his family for her, he just suffered the consequences of his actions (or lack thereof, i should say). taking a scolding from his mom and auntie on how he shouldve been on his brother's side (even though brother was in the wrong) was not a sacrifice. if he sided with his girlfriend to begin with, then brother would've spilled sooner because of lola's side of the story.
@@minihoyas how can you expect a human being to choose between the person he loves the most, and another person he loves the most, in a split second? It's truly disturbing you think a human being can do that. Maybe he could've responded earlier, yeah, but you expect him to have responded *imidiatley*, split second notice. Human beings are not capable of that.
Brother: Total Asshole. Lola: Fight response. OP: Freeze Response I fricking hate it when people blame others with freeze or submit response for not acting. It may look like you have all your faculties in a row and choosing how to act, but you don't, you're just acting automatically as if you are fighting or fleeing.
While there was definitely some incompetence on OP’s part, you seem to have left out some key info. If you had watched the whole thing, you would have known that two of the closest people to OP were fighting, and he had ZERO context, no idea who was in the right and thus no idea what to do.
@@LyingOstrich I did watch the entire thing, which is something you've neglected to notice, and it's even more embarrassing considering the fact what I've said, even if he had no context clues available, if the context was your partner screaming, you should probably go in to protect your partner from whatever it is, and is rather neglectful of you to think otherwise
Honestly, I don't think OP and Lola were ever a good match. I admire how much he grew as a person from the incident, however, his brother was clearly very inconsiderate of her in general and he was enabling his behavior by saying she was "too sensitive to his dark humor". It is known Lola was autistic, and her boundaries should be asserted. I personally would berate the brother for bugging her, "I understand you like dark humor but don't @ her", and in this situation if I was OP, I'd instantly side Lola bc it's "to be expected". I understand family is family but I have my own values that I will stand up for.
It doesn’t matter whether the girlfriend has sensory issues or arachnophobia. If a guy goes into a sleeping girl’s bedroom and starts making scary noises and creeping up on her, it’s absolutely self-defence for her to claw his face off, mask or no mask.
Here is the thing there is a marked difference between pranks and assault. What the brother did was criminal and legally actionable. It was not funny. It was not a joke. It doesn’t matter whether or not the girlfriend had autism or century issues. Any woman who was accosted in this manner, while sleep would’ve had the same reaction. However, the most baffling part of the story is OP’s reaction. He said he didn’t have any context, but he had plenty of context. He knew his girlfriend was sleeping. He knew his brother had a history of pestering his girlfriend. He knew his brother went back near his girlfriend before the whole thing happened. his girlfriend, starts screaming, and all of a sudden he doesn’t have any context! Seriously something might be wrong with him and it just might not be a severe as his clearly psychopathic brother! 😮
Bingo. I felt like too many people focused on the fact that Lola was autistic, when it ultimately was irrelevant. She didn't need to justify why she didn't want Ian bothering her. Once she asserted "Leave me alone", he should have left her alone and OP should have enforced it. Yes, OP was clearly being deliberately obtuse and a bad BF.
I'm glad she left op he was a lousy boyfriend he should've protected her i know if my brother did this type of crap to my boyfriend i wouldn't hesitate to stick up for him it wouldn't matter that he's my brother he was in the wrong I'm real close with my siblings but i wouldn't let them do this to my boyfriend nor would i date someone who would do this to them
You literally heard him say that he didn’t know how to handle the situation. He wasn’t being lousy. He was confused and he had no idea how to react to the situation. You can’t say he was a lousy boyfriend. You never were around them, and to say that he was unprotective what is supposed to do beat up his brotherthose are the two people who are closest to him. He doesn’t know how to react to that and yeah sure she’s autistic and he was saying yeah it’s just a joke and stuff but it’s different to him. It’s a joke but to her it’s different.
@Garrison-nh4rh no, but even if you're confused about the whole situation, you drag whoever is on your gf off of her at least to reduce her screams of distress
Lousy boyfriend is crazy, Im sure that situation was highly overwhelming (considering he says the two people closest to me at one point), and then something like that occurring, what if you intervene and it turns out you sided with the one in the wrong? I imagine you would be quite overwhelmed with that situation, the only reason you can say hes lousy is because you KNOW the situation, and if you were there its all good saying you’d side with one, but with good conscience could you risk your relationship with one for the betterment of the other?
@@RosyBlannxhe was a lousy boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have stepped in after the first "joke" and made his brother knock it off. This girl had no reason to believe he actually sided with her because he showed her on multiple occasions that he would side with his brother. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to understand what happened when walking in to see one person on the bed and another wearing a mask over them.
As an autistic person, I fully believe OP and their brother has everything coming to them for not taking the girlfriend’s issues and for acting like general assholes to her
not all autism makes people un able to control there actions, there's a difference between high functioning autism and normally autism. The reason why gf attacked brother was in an instinctual defensive
“Family is family,” is a bad way to think of it. Wrong is wrong, regardless of who does it. If they try to use the “family” card to excuse it, that’s toxic
I’m autistic to and unlike most people we don’t run and hide when something scares us we attack it or them usually we go for the closest part of them and just attack we don’t do it often only something we see as a threat or a danger or just something we never expect
Me and my little brother are autistic (I’m on the high spectrum and he is on the low) and after watching this I want OP to know people will keep doing this so just be ready when they do.
The story is truly heart wrenching. I can't help thinking that the younger brother had a mean streak in him that the rest of the family just conveniently chose to ignore for far too long, and even worse, chose to look the other way when his meanness became criminal. A spoiled little brat who was allowed to destroy lives, ended up showing that the rest of the family was complicitly just as guilty as he was, badly enough to chose, even in the eleventh hour, to let him get out of control. Everybody should have seen this coming, including the OP. One thing that most people don't realize is that, at least on a moral level, the rest of humanity owes a greater level of care and consideration to those who, by no fault of their own, have to contend with physical or psychological conditions that make them more vulnerable. This wasn't just a prank, it was an outright crime, as one person took advantage of another person's vulnerability to hurt them.
As an autistic person, OP's first mistake was letting this happen; he acknowledged that Lola begged him to tell his brother to stop, which it shouldn't have gotten to that point in the first place. He proved he didn't care about her POV by not taking her feelings into account at all. Honestly, I commend her for being so chill about it. He sounds like he knows next to nothing about autism, and she should've broke up with him sooner.
really glad she's ok. she sounds like a very nice and reasonable person. my brother has adhd and I do everything I can to protect him no matter what he does to me ( he hits me and blames me and attacks me). I couldn't love him any less than I already do. im worried that when I move away he won't be able to fend for himself. he is an introvert and stays in during breaks at school most of the time. I fight most of his battles for him but I fear that im doing too much for him. like I've given a wolf to much of the modern world that its not fit to return to the wild.
1st, the op was smart in not making any rash decisions and finding out what happened because otherwise it could have become problematic and it was fair that Lola broke up with him but it was good that she was nice about it 2nd, me and my friends also have dark humour but we have off limit topics that just aren't ok to joke about and clearly in this situation sensory issues/phobias are not ok and if Ian was aware of how upset she was he needed to back off because it's not ok and what he did was incredibly cruel and 3rd persobally I would have pressed charges if someone had tried to scare me while I was sleeping because that is not ok under any circumstances
I’m an autistic person and am terrified of spiders so if I had just woken up to someone with a spider mask standing over me I would also be screaming but the clawing his face off seems a bit… unreasonable but then again it’s his fault for just doing the prank when the girlfriend had sensory issues so I understand where she was coming from with the clawing bit… I think most people would do that in her shoes.
To the mom that says that OP’s actions are ruining the family… your other son’s actions didn’t?? Really?? Him going into a woman’s room alone to scare her… and you’re fine with that!?
I’m autistic and I know that this is just really messed up having sensory issues. Isn’t a reason to make somebody laughing stock. This is just messed up.
What I think of the people: OP: 9/10 All good, you cannot expect someone to choose the right side when they have no context. Lola: 9/10 Did absolutely nothing wrong, she defended herself, understandable that she wouldnt be able to be with the brother of her assaulter. Mom: 4/10 In the wrong, but not a bad person, she was just very confused and in denial. Aunt: 7.5/10 Very good, makes sense that she sided with a family member, but immediately turned once he heard what really happened. Brother: -999999999999⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹/10
I'd say lola shouldn't have broken up with op since he didn't do anything wrong and she might be 8/10 because of it I mean how could a person stand up to someone without any context
@@barbarasanchez445 am talking about it when she was sleeping and the brother "pranked" her when op told her to stop and it's only harmless prank I was mad that he would do this
Turn the family against them, Ian is obviously the moms golden child and what he has done cannot be described as stupidity. Your mom reaction says it all, move out and block them both or anyone who is with them.
the brother is the one who started all of this.if he didnt prank op's gf,she wouldnt of broken up with her and ian and op's mother wouldnt of been 'a wreck'
I feel bad for op, 2 people he loves get Into a fight and he has no context, then his mom and brother get angry at him, and his gf broke up with him, kinda a douche move on the gf op didn't deserve that.
Seeing how he responded in an emergency and how he did not take any action at the very beginning, she’s right to break up. There’s no guarantee she would ever feel safe knowing that she cannot count on him for support immediately .
OP knew that his gf was sleeping, that his AH brother went back there, and his gf was screaming. OP also ignored his gf when she asked him to do something about his AH brother harassing her. But seriously, how much more context could he need beyond his sleeping gf suddenly screaming and finding her in a physical confrontation with a man? A man wearing a effing mask? OP sucks as a protector and should never tell anyone that he will protect them ever again.
Well at least the girl who ends up with him will have a boyfriend with a great sense of justice. That shits rare. Loss for Lola honestly
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@@colajuly8213 Great sense of justice? Oh yeah standing there with mouth agape as your GF is crying and distraught after your bro went into a bgedroom she was in and got attacked. Yeah I would of damn near killed my brother under the assumption he tried to r@pe her. But OP stood there being all "I am a wimp and cant stand up to my shitty brother." OP comes off like he was only with the GF because she had autism and no girl with a normal mind would date him or be near his family.
This makes me angry. You never sneak up on an autistic child sleeping. I have autism and my bro tried to scare me and when he grabbed me I kicked him in the nose. Yeah it was flattened when he came back from the hospital.
When strangers are toxic you can deal with it, but only because you can get away from them. When your family is toxic you have no escape from it. I say to work on gaining self independence as soon as you can just so you can leave your family if you think that is necessary.
Good job Lola. Attacked in her sleep by greatest fear yet still kicked butt. Sadly her bf froze at the most critical time. I get it this will haunt Lola and she won't ever be able to trust him in her times of need. Best to just call it off and move on.
Do not choose sides based on relationships, that potrays you as bias which is a title no one would want, choose sides based on justice, think about the situation and whos at fault. Edit: hell yea his girlfriend is right, some idiot activating a persons fight or flight reaction and unlucky for him, her brain choose ‘fight’
So because she has "arachnophobia "(bieng afraid of a flipping spider man mask) she can cause physical damage to anyone if they got something related to spiders on them.
That is what happens when you don't take accountability Mom and OP's bro. No one will side with you. You messed up big time and now people will see you for what you really are. OP I don't blame your ex (glad she broke up with you) and i hope she takes your brother to court and get a all she can from him. This could have been so much worse.
ik that lola is autistic but her breaking up with him is t\stupid because he cant just take sides when two of the most important people in his life are in a fight.he doesn't want people thinking he loves one more than the other
....I'm autistic, and I don't think you should choose your brother's side. Ein should know better. I understand, Lola flight fight(forgot the other one) I get scared easily by people randomly taping my shoulder or sum like that. I told my friends that I get scared of that. And one of my friends keeps doing that. And I'm starting to get annoyed so if he does that one more time I'm slapping him.
Op is asking too much from mother. Op sounds like he was an a-hole before to his family and now is surprised his parents side with his brother instead of a random girl.
The OP's brother was totally inhumane in his actions and that was beyond wrong and totally disrespectful plus he caused his own brother to get dumped by his girlfriend and in turn cause the OP to block contact with both his mom and brother down the line,so I say both brothers are at fault and always will be.
So sad, that OP had to endure that. I wish for him, that he can reconnect with his girlfriend. And I wish that for her, too. From my experience, as an autistic woman, I can say: It's not an easy task to find someone, who loves them and accepts them as they are and the feeling is mutual. So all of these seem to apply, so I wish them both the best
She has spider phobia two! That’s just so long. That’s not a funny prank. My sister act as active as she was murdered because the spider was in her glass.
First he ignores her, when she asks him to make his brother stop those jokes about her. Then he doesn’t even step up for her immediately, when this idiot does the spider prank on her. She should get rid of him!
I feel like the Person sharing the story was not in the wrong at first he was but he felt it was just some Jokes and he had no idea what happened so he did nothing, also the fact his brother said he sucked when he was in the wrong is awful and the fact his gf broke up with him proves he was the real victim in the story opinions? and please be kind!
Like it is kinda sad for him that he got broken up with when he was doing the best he could, but if my boyfriend brushed off something someone did as “just a joke” then that person did something like this to me and my boyfriend froze instead of trying to break it up and separate us, we would not be dating anymore because he did not protect me when I needed him to. OP did the best he could, but it wasn’t enough to protect Lola, so Lola was absolutely justified in breaking up with him. Op is a victim from how his family treats him tho
1:04 you mean a horrible boyfriend and prick to the girl you supposedly “love” what a guy 😒 I’m just glad the girl broke up with him I hope she finds someone who will actually treat her good
Or person who doesn't act without thinking first? If his brother was attacking her he would have protected her. She was already clawing the dipshit so what could he do? Stop her and defend the brother? The dipshit was getting what he deserved and the OP just didn't have alot to go off of in that situation. Also wdym find a man who can treat her right? Her friends definitely talked her into the idea he should have done more for her in that situation which is just dumb, he did the right thing. Not to mention she is autistic and idk what else, dude was giving alot just by dating and loving her for who she was, not alot of people would do that
Okay yall I didn’t finish it yet and normally I don’t comment but this one rlly got to me as someone who has an autistic sister Anywho nta his brother is cruel In general for disturbing someone in their sleep let alone a girl who doesn’t like you and has some problems But the fact that he had a spider mask OOH that made me want to punch him Now I’m going watch the rest I’m hoping it doesn’t get worse for Lola
lola shouldn't have broke up with him like atleast try to make the relationship fucking work but no she decided that because he didn't say anything she would need to break up like i know its bad but atleast she's healing i know some people gonna argue that "She has autism sensory issues" what not but atleast go to a therapist with him about it.
@@Sukunatheking. Break up the fight and get context, not freeze and wait for the situation to fix itself. Shove both of them away from each or otherwise physically separate them. Anything would have been better than freezing up. The explanation of “I was panicking” can also explain why he prioritized one person over the other, he was trying to stop the situation as quickly and possible. Like a million things could’ve been done, the issue was that he did none of them, her friends had to protect her. And like, not that you specifically said that he didn’t have enough context to do that, but here is a short list of context op had that is directly applicable: his gf was sleeping, his brother has a history of pranks on his gf (which his gf has asked him to stop), his brother followed his gf to the place she’s sleeping, his gf screamed. That’s plenty to decide: “I should do something to defuse this situation.”
Assault is the crime of making someone fear for their safety and/or fear that they are going to be physically harmed. Battery is the actual physical contact with the victim.
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The brother is clearly in the wrong. Lola has sensory issues, autism, she overstimulates easily. The brother is completely insensitive here, OP is wrong for saying the brother was doing harmless pranks up until the spider mask “prank”. This was serious to her, she was genuinely hurt by these “harmless pranks”. He got attacked after scaring the life out of a SLEEPING girl with sensory issues. He’s 100% in the wrong for any of this, even the “pranks” he did beforehand.
True. I have autism too. It’s not fun sometimes and this is a good example of why.
@@Crazylegoman3791 I wish people wouldn’t treat others differently based on if they’re neurodivergent or neurotypical.
either way, its his fault he got attacked and it was a dumb idea
I'm neurodivergent myself and I just realized this might be the reason I hate pranks so much. My little brother did some relatively harmless ones when we were growing up, but it did often make me uncomfortable and once in particular made me have a breakdown. He didn't really prank me after that.
I'm glad people agree that the previous pranking should have also been taken seriously, especially by OP, and it makes me feel mad for the girl that he didn't. Our feelings so often get invalidated. That must've been a horrible experience for her.
@@sipi2009 I’m glad your brother ended up stopping but sorry to hear you had to have a panic attack for that to happen. I grew up undiagnosed and and my sister liked pranks so it bothered me a bit that no one acknowledged that the previous pranks weren’t harmless either and were just saying that the brother was in the wrong for scaring her.
Feel sorry for the OP there, his brother made him cut contact with his family and his girlfriend, it’s a real dick move tbh
It must run in the family cuz they all suck tbh. OP is no better, he just sat by and allowed it all to happen.
@@markus3355how about u be in his shoes
@@markus3355what does "OP" stand for?
@@kimlaybe9832 fr people usually say like “i would defend her bla bla bla” but in reality most of them literally just stands still not knowing what to do
@@MAshu1st Original poster.
The fact that OP took his gf DESPERATION as being " dramatic " is all i need. Bro really thought he could have something with her when he can’t even take her problems seriously 😭😭
Can you please tell me full form of OP please 😊😊
@@himanibhargav6129Original Poster
@@plebulus ok thank you 😊 🙏
She asked OP to tell his brother to leave her alone and stop harassing her. He didn't. He saw his brother follow his girlfriend to bed and thought nothing of it. When he heard screaming and saw what was happening he just stood there.
OP either has some serious brain lag or he's just ignorant because its known his brother liked to harass her and yet he did nothing about it, then when the altercation happens he somehow doesn't figure his brother was once again harassing her and this time pushed her past breaking, instead thinking she just for some reason randomly attacked his brother... Who followed her to bed... Who was known to harass her... It makes no sense to me
I'm glad they broke up because clearly OP doesn't know how to be in a relationship with someone who has autism, and had a worryingly low desire to protect a girlfriend from being harassed (regardless of autism or not I'd expect anyone to stand up for their partner and listen to them when they voice a concern or discomfort, not just stand there and ignore it)
OP isn't a particularly bad guy but he for sure made a lot of bad decisions and needs to seriously re-evaluate himself before looking for another relationship
I hope she lives safe and happy
And I hope the brother learned his damn lesson
I know how it is to be in a relationship with an autistic girl, and believe me, it's harder than it looks, I struggle everyday to keep the relationship going but some actions she does that I mention to her, but still does them makes me reconsider be in a relationship or not, this may sound that I'm in the wrong but I could say some backstory but I won't bc of consent and that kind of bs
You can't just know how to be in a relationship with an autistic person because they are all different and have different fears or things they can't handle
Regardless of autism or not he did not protect his partner from something that clearly made her uncomfortable, this goes beyond autism, because he ignored major issues and dismissed her concerns which was incredibly wrong
*This is not about autism at this point*
@@rachelthornberry1240 but the thing is if U had watched the full thing is that he was not trying to take sides without knowing the context and he even said that if he had know th context he would have stuck up for her and wouldve said something he froze up and didn't know what to do it can happen really easily to anyone especially in a situation like this
@@nadamuches8864 I did watch the whole video, that's how I know they broke up, it still doesn't change the fact that he made a lot of mistakes and failed to listen to her concerns about his brother, and for some reason didn't think his brother *following her to bed* was an issue
OP was in the wrong from the start, knowing that your girlfriend is autistic and has sensory issues, and also her begging you to tell your brother to stop picking on her with his "jokes" is not so protective of you as a boyfriend who only wanted to protect her. if you adored her so much then you would've done more gestures to reassure her that you were on her side, and you especially messed up when you didnt do anything in that situation. you heard a loud scream and you know your girlfriend was asleep before that scream. you only see your brother in that room with her. and you're stuck at "oh theyre the two closest people to me i cant pick a side!" i get it, i'm close to my siblings too. but i am also really stern when it comes to these issues. maybe you weren't being an asshole, but you were doing nothing when an actual one pestered your girlfriend. i'm glad she left the relationship, she doesn't deserve that.
yeah like as soon as she screamed and he saw his brother he should've said something and been there for her so I'm glad she broke up with him she deserves better
i feel like my take on the story is that op isn’t a bad guy or anything but he could’ve been better
@@Biofishy oh, yea of course! i'm not trying to say he's a bad person, it's just that what he did was wrong for the victim. it was super insensitive and inconsiderate, but he probably never thought about it that deeply to begin with (which is how things lead to where it got). lack of action just made things worse when it could've been better if he reacted sooner.
@@7Kazi7i think you're commenting on the wrong reddit story bud, he didn't sacrifice his family for her, he just suffered the consequences of his actions (or lack thereof, i should say). taking a scolding from his mom and auntie on how he shouldve been on his brother's side (even though brother was in the wrong) was not a sacrifice. if he sided with his girlfriend to begin with, then brother would've spilled sooner because of lola's side of the story.
@@minihoyas how can you expect a human being to choose between the person he loves the most, and another person he loves the most, in a split second? It's truly disturbing you think a human being can do that. Maybe he could've responded earlier, yeah, but you expect him to have responded *imidiatley*, split second notice. Human beings are not capable of that.
The brother is a home grown bully. The mother isn't doing him any favors. One day he will not get off so easily.
Hope that the ex sues his brother. The mom is enabling his behavior by protecting him. Block them
my guy pulled a "fuck around and find out."
Brother: Total asshole.
Lola: Poor victim.
OP: Quite incompetent.
mom : adult baby
Brother: Total Asshole.
Lola: Fight response.
OP: Freeze Response
I fricking hate it when people blame others with freeze or submit response for not acting. It may look like you have all your faculties in a row and choosing how to act, but you don't, you're just acting automatically as if you are fighting or fleeing.
Bro if she's screaming and your heard it, why didn't you defend her? Kinda dumb OP
While there was definitely some incompetence on OP’s part, you seem to have left out some key info.
If you had watched the whole thing, you would have known that two of the closest people to OP were fighting, and he had ZERO context, no idea who was in the right and thus no idea what to do.
@@LyingOstrich I did watch the entire thing, which is something you've neglected to notice, and it's even more embarrassing considering the fact what I've said, even if he had no context clues available, if the context was your partner screaming, you should probably go in to protect your partner from whatever it is, and is rather neglectful of you to think otherwise
Honestly, I don't think OP and Lola were ever a good match. I admire how much he grew as a person from the incident, however, his brother was clearly very inconsiderate of her in general and he was enabling his behavior by saying she was "too sensitive to his dark humor". It is known Lola was autistic, and her boundaries should be asserted. I personally would berate the brother for bugging her, "I understand you like dark humor but don't @ her", and in this situation if I was OP, I'd instantly side Lola bc it's "to be expected". I understand family is family but I have my own values that I will stand up for.
It doesn’t matter whether the girlfriend has sensory issues or arachnophobia. If a guy goes into a sleeping girl’s bedroom and starts making scary noises and creeping up on her, it’s absolutely self-defence for her to claw his face off, mask or no mask.
Here is the thing there is a marked difference between pranks and assault. What the brother did was criminal and legally actionable. It was not funny. It was not a joke. It doesn’t matter whether or not the girlfriend had autism or century issues. Any woman who was accosted in this manner, while sleep would’ve had the same reaction.
However, the most baffling part of the story is OP’s reaction. He said he didn’t have any context, but he had plenty of context. He knew his girlfriend was sleeping. He knew his brother had a history of pestering his girlfriend. He knew his brother went back near his girlfriend before the whole thing happened. his girlfriend, starts screaming, and all of a sudden he doesn’t have any context! Seriously something might be wrong with him and it just might not be a severe as his clearly psychopathic brother! 😮
Bingo. I felt like too many people focused on the fact that Lola was autistic, when it ultimately was irrelevant. She didn't need to justify why she didn't want Ian bothering her. Once she asserted "Leave me alone", he should have left her alone and OP should have enforced it. Yes, OP was clearly being deliberately obtuse and a bad BF.
I'm glad she left op he was a lousy boyfriend he should've protected her i know if my brother did this type of crap to my boyfriend i wouldn't hesitate to stick up for him it wouldn't matter that he's my brother he was in the wrong I'm real close with my siblings but i wouldn't let them do this to my boyfriend nor would i date someone who would do this to them
You literally heard him say that he didn’t know how to handle the situation. He wasn’t being lousy. He was confused and he had no idea how to react to the situation. You can’t say he was a lousy boyfriend. You never were around them, and to say that he was unprotective what is supposed to do beat up his brotherthose are the two people who are closest to him. He doesn’t know how to react to that and yeah sure she’s autistic and he was saying yeah it’s just a joke and stuff but it’s different to him. It’s a joke but to her it’s different.
@@Garrison-nh4rhfr lousy boyfriend is crazy
@Garrison-nh4rh no, but even if you're confused about the whole situation, you drag whoever is on your gf off of her at least to reduce her screams of distress
Lousy boyfriend is crazy, Im sure that situation was highly overwhelming (considering he says the two people closest to me at one point), and then something like that occurring, what if you intervene and it turns out you sided with the one in the wrong? I imagine you would be quite overwhelmed with that situation, the only reason you can say hes lousy is because you KNOW the situation, and if you were there its all good saying you’d side with one, but with good conscience could you risk your relationship with one for the betterment of the other?
@@RosyBlannxhe was a lousy boyfriend. A good boyfriend would have stepped in after the first "joke" and made his brother knock it off. This girl had no reason to believe he actually sided with her because he showed her on multiple occasions that he would side with his brother. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to understand what happened when walking in to see one person on the bed and another wearing a mask over them.
As an autistic person, I fully believe OP and their brother has everything coming to them for not taking the girlfriend’s issues and for acting like general assholes to her
not all autism makes people un able to control there actions, there's a difference between high functioning autism and normally autism. The reason why gf attacked brother was in an instinctual defensive
This seems like a real younger brother. You prank someone and provoke them and when they fight back you cry to your parents or whatever authority.
The Brother is an AH but OP should've done something before. Poor Lola
“Family is family,” is a bad way to think of it. Wrong is wrong, regardless of who does it. If they try to use the “family” card to excuse it, that’s toxic
I’m autistic to and unlike most people we don’t run and hide when something scares us we attack it or them usually we go for the closest part of them and just attack we don’t do it often only something we see as a threat or a danger or just something we never expect
"try get me apoloigize"
"don't put your hand in a gator's mouth"
same with this
it's his fault he got attacked
I am a person that actually has autism and someone did that to me. That would just be wrong because we’ll overestimate things and that’s not OK.
Me and my little brother are autistic (I’m on the high spectrum and he is on the low) and after watching this I want OP to know people will keep doing this so just be ready when they do.
The story is truly heart wrenching. I can't help thinking that the younger brother had a mean streak in him that the rest of the family just conveniently chose to ignore for far too long, and even worse, chose to look the other way when his meanness became criminal. A spoiled little brat who was allowed to destroy lives, ended up showing that the rest of the family was complicitly just as guilty as he was, badly enough to chose, even in the eleventh hour, to let him get out of control. Everybody should have seen this coming, including the OP. One thing that most people don't realize is that, at least on a moral level, the rest of humanity owes a greater level of care and consideration to those who, by no fault of their own, have to contend with physical or psychological conditions that make them more vulnerable. This wasn't just a prank, it was an outright crime, as one person took advantage of another person's vulnerability to hurt them.
"it's just a prank bro"
the prank and the out comes
As an autistic person, OP's first mistake was letting this happen; he acknowledged that Lola begged him to tell his brother to stop, which it shouldn't have gotten to that point in the first place. He proved he didn't care about her POV by not taking her feelings into account at all. Honestly, I commend her for being so chill about it.
He sounds like he knows next to nothing about autism, and she should've broke up with him sooner.
really glad she's ok. she sounds like a very nice and reasonable person. my brother has adhd and I do everything I can to protect him no matter what he does to me ( he hits me and blames me and attacks me). I couldn't love him any less than I already do. im worried that when I move away he won't be able to fend for himself. he is an introvert and stays in during breaks at school most of the time. I fight most of his battles for him but I fear that im doing too much for him. like I've given a wolf to much of the modern world that its not fit to return to the wild.
As an autistic girl his brother is the villain here
Ian is obviously the golden child.
1st, the op was smart in not making any rash decisions and finding out what happened because otherwise it could have become problematic and it was fair that Lola broke up with him but it was good that she was nice about it 2nd, me and my friends also have dark humour but we have off limit topics that just aren't ok to joke about and clearly in this situation sensory issues/phobias are not ok and if Ian was aware of how upset she was he needed to back off because it's not ok and what he did was incredibly cruel and 3rd persobally I would have pressed charges if someone had tried to scare me while I was sleeping because that is not ok under any circumstances
op shouldve actually done something much sooner than this like tf💀
Comrades, this is big brother.
What's up buddy
Have you had any contact with Lola? Have you been in any other relationship with another person?
1984 reference real???
i am so glad she broke up with him and i reallly hope she will press some charges
I’m an autistic person and am terrified of spiders so if I had just woken up to someone with a spider mask standing over me I would also be screaming but the clawing his face off seems a bit… unreasonable but then again it’s his fault for just doing the prank when the girlfriend had sensory issues so I understand where she was coming from with the clawing bit… I think most people would do that in her shoes.
In my opinion the only ones breaking the fan was her and his brother
I don’t have arachnophobia(any more than the next guy) but I’m with Lola 😂
Creepy as fuck behaviour to do any of that too a sleeping woman, I just know the brother is eventually going to do a lot worse to someone
To the mom that says that OP’s actions are ruining the family… your other son’s actions didn’t?? Really?? Him going into a woman’s room alone to scare her… and you’re fine with that!?
I’m autistic and I know that this is just really messed up having sensory issues. Isn’t a reason to make somebody laughing stock. This is just messed up.
As an autistic person i feel sorry for lola and OP
where was the youtube short
Lola just defended herself though
Verdict: womp womp
What I think of the people:
OP: 9/10 All good, you cannot expect someone to choose the right side when they have no context.
Lola: 9/10 Did absolutely nothing wrong, she defended herself, understandable that she wouldnt be able to be with the brother of her assaulter.
Mom: 4/10 In the wrong, but not a bad person, she was just very confused and in denial.
Aunt: 7.5/10 Very good, makes sense that she sided with a family member, but immediately turned once he heard what really happened.
Brother: -999999999999⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹/10
I'd say lola shouldn't have broken up with op since he didn't do anything wrong and she might be 8/10 because of it I mean how could a person stand up to someone without any context
@@Shadowpool256I assume it's the feeling that if something of a similar nature again she doesn't feel she can trust him to defend her anymore
@@Shadowpool256 she was being terrorized by the brother. BEGGED OP to tell him to stop. Op’s reaction? “His pranks are harmless, you’re overreacting.”
@@barbarasanchez445 am talking about it when she was sleeping and the brother "pranked" her when op told her to stop and it's only harmless prank I was mad that he would do this
@@Shadowpool256 I’m confused. So first your with op then against?
You stand up for family when they are in the right. But if they are wrong you let them know and stand up to them.
Turn the family against them, Ian is obviously the moms golden child and what he has done cannot be described as stupidity. Your mom reaction says it all, move out and block them both or anyone who is with them.
the brother is the one who started all of this.if he didnt prank op's gf,she wouldnt of broken up with her and ian and op's mother wouldnt of been 'a wreck'
Hell no, that man would be 6 feet in the ground if he did that to me
I feel bad for op, 2 people he loves get Into a fight and he has no context, then his mom and brother get angry at him, and his gf broke up with him, kinda a douche move on the gf op didn't deserve that.
Seeing how he responded in an emergency and how he did not take any action at the very beginning, she’s right to break up. There’s no guarantee she would ever feel safe knowing that she cannot count on him for support immediately .
OP knew that his gf was sleeping, that his AH brother went back there, and his gf was screaming. OP also ignored his gf when she asked him to do something about his AH brother harassing her. But seriously, how much more context could he need beyond his sleeping gf suddenly screaming and finding her in a physical confrontation with a man? A man wearing a effing mask? OP sucks as a protector and should never tell anyone that he will protect them ever again.
How the hell is that a douche move when he did nothing to help his girlfriend
“Willing to overlook that”
Breaks up with him for the same reason 💀
Well at least the girl who ends up with him will have a boyfriend with a great sense of justice. That shits rare. Loss for Lola honestly
@@colajuly8213 Great sense of justice? Oh yeah standing there with mouth agape as your GF is crying and distraught after your bro went into a bgedroom she was in and got attacked.
Yeah I would of damn near killed my brother under the assumption he tried to r@pe her.
But OP stood there being all "I am a wimp and cant stand up to my shitty brother."
OP comes off like he was only with the GF because she had autism and no girl with a normal mind would date him or be near his family.
Run Lola. A good boyfriend would have made sure she was OK right away not, 'wait and see' what happened or whatever
1:01 “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” It doesn’t matter if it is family or not
This makes me angry. You never sneak up on an autistic child sleeping. I have autism and my bro tried to scare me and when he grabbed me I kicked him in the nose. Yeah it was flattened when he came back from the hospital.
I have insane arachnophobia too😢
When strangers are toxic you can deal with it, but only because you can get away from them. When your family is toxic you have no escape from it. I say to work on gaining self independence as soon as you can just so you can leave your family if you think that is necessary.
Good job Lola. Attacked in her sleep by greatest fear yet still kicked butt. Sadly her bf froze at the most critical time. I get it this will haunt Lola and she won't ever be able to trust him in her times of need. Best to just call it off and move on.
OP and brother are both in the wrong. But, the brother is way more terrible then OP.
Dang…
Do not choose sides based on relationships, that potrays you as bias which is a title no one would want, choose sides based on justice, think about the situation and whos at fault.
Edit: hell yea his girlfriend is right, some idiot activating a persons fight or flight reaction and unlucky for him, her brain choose ‘fight’
So because she has "arachnophobia "(bieng afraid of a flipping spider man mask) she can cause physical damage to anyone if they got something related to spiders on them.
That is what happens when you don't take accountability Mom and OP's bro. No one will side with you. You messed up big time and now people will see you for what you really are. OP I don't blame your ex (glad she broke up with you) and i hope she takes your brother to court and get a all she can from him. This could have been so much worse.
I can’t believe that Ian did that too Lola but still the mum is not upset probably because Ian is the golden child😡
ik that lola is autistic but her breaking up with him is t\stupid because he cant just take sides when two of the most important people in his life are in a fight.he doesn't want people thinking he loves one more than the other
....I'm autistic, and I don't think you should choose your brother's side. Ein should know better. I understand, Lola flight fight(forgot the other one) I get scared easily by people randomly taping my shoulder or sum like that. I told my friends that I get scared of that. And one of my friends keeps doing that. And I'm starting to get annoyed so if he does that one more time I'm slapping him.
i would had tried to get the ex to press charges
Op is asking too much from mother. Op sounds like he was an a-hole before to his family and now is surprised his parents side with his brother instead of a random girl.
The OP's brother was totally inhumane in his actions and that was beyond wrong and totally disrespectful plus he caused his own brother to get dumped by his girlfriend and in turn cause the OP to block contact with both his mom and brother down the line,so I say both brothers are at fault and always will be.
Wow.
So sad, that OP had to endure that. I wish for him, that he can reconnect with his girlfriend. And I wish that for her, too. From my experience, as an autistic woman, I can say: It's not an easy task to find someone, who loves them and accepts them as they are and the feeling is mutual. So all of these seem to apply, so I wish them both the best
hit hard.
Its so weird that his brother was wearing a mask and lola scratched his face when he was wearing a mask
who invited the friend 😂
She has spider phobia two! That’s just so long. That’s not a funny prank. My sister act as active as she was murdered because the spider was in her glass.
The one guy I feel sorry for is op his girlfriend broke up with him because he did not know what was happening
First he ignores her, when she asks him to make his brother stop those jokes about her. Then he doesn’t even step up for her immediately, when this idiot does the spider prank on her. She should get rid of him!
Any updates
Where is the original post?
I feel like the Person sharing the story was not in the wrong at first he was but he felt it was just some Jokes and he had no idea what happened so he did nothing, also the fact his brother said he sucked when he was in the wrong is awful and the fact his gf broke up with him proves he was the real victim in the story opinions?
and please be kind!
Like it is kinda sad for him that he got broken up with when he was doing the best he could, but if my boyfriend brushed off something someone did as “just a joke” then that person did something like this to me and my boyfriend froze instead of trying to break it up and separate us, we would not be dating anymore because he did not protect me when I needed him to. OP did the best he could, but it wasn’t enough to protect Lola, so Lola was absolutely justified in breaking up with him. Op is a victim from how his family treats him tho
I AM GROOT?!
Ntah your brother is a cruel bastard and he assaulted your girlfriend, disability or not it was a vile thing to do, you are better off without him.
Lola, choose her
Damn
Brother was in the wrong clearly but the gf Shouldn’t have broken up with OP
Op had froze, so not really his fault right there when they broke up at the end, but yea still a 50% a-hole
1:04 you mean a horrible boyfriend and prick to the girl you supposedly “love” what a guy 😒 I’m just glad the girl broke up with him I hope she finds someone who will actually treat her good
Or person who doesn't act without thinking first? If his brother was attacking her he would have protected her. She was already clawing the dipshit so what could he do? Stop her and defend the brother? The dipshit was getting what he deserved and the OP just didn't have alot to go off of in that situation.
Also wdym find a man who can treat her right? Her friends definitely talked her into the idea he should have done more for her in that situation which is just dumb, he did the right thing. Not to mention she is autistic and idk what else, dude was giving alot just by dating and loving her for who she was, not alot of people would do that
People talking about the video while I, being amazed of the duration being two times 3:14
1/10 brother
5/10 OP
5/10 GF
He did this to himself
What's "chaside"?
CHECK THE SPELLING IN THE SCRIPT!
FFS
Okay yall I didn’t finish it yet and normally I don’t comment but this one rlly got to me as someone who has an autistic sister
Anywho nta his brother is cruel
In general for disturbing someone in their sleep let alone a girl who doesn’t like you and has some problems
But the fact that he had a spider mask OOH that made me want to punch him
Now I’m going watch the rest I’m hoping it doesn’t get worse for Lola
How did she scratch him is he had a mask
Dumb ah family chain💀
Family is forever. There and plenty of fish in the sea🗿
If family is forever then yes. Leave the brother
@@nele7443 you got it COMPLETELY wrong 💀💀
KEEP THE BROTHER
@@JamesParascandalo And how did I got it wrong?
@@nele7443 you said leave the the brother
@@JamesParascandalo so? In the trash with him
2:10 Is there some context missing here?
Yes I don’t know what happened
the girls in the wrong so she should of not been dumb it was a mask
lola shouldn't have broke up with him like atleast try to make the relationship fucking work but no she decided that because he didn't say anything she would need to break up like i know its bad but atleast she's healing i know some people gonna argue that "She has autism sensory issues" what not but atleast go to a therapist with him about it.
Nah if OP was a idiot
If I was a man I would have supported her atleast console her
She needed him to protect her, he didn’t and froze instead. That’s grounds for breakup.
@@Sarah_Bragg he had little to no context so what was he supposed to do slap both of them?
@@Sukunatheking. Break up the fight and get context, not freeze and wait for the situation to fix itself. Shove both of them away from each or otherwise physically separate them. Anything would have been better than freezing up. The explanation of “I was panicking” can also explain why he prioritized one person over the other, he was trying to stop the situation as quickly and possible. Like a million things could’ve been done, the issue was that he did none of them, her friends had to protect her. And like, not that you specifically said that he didn’t have enough context to do that, but here is a short list of context op had that is directly applicable: his gf was sleeping, his brother has a history of pranks on his gf (which his gf has asked him to stop), his brother followed his gf to the place she’s sleeping, his gf screamed. That’s plenty to decide: “I should do something to defuse this situation.”
@@Sarah_Bragg me personally Im freezing quite instantly im sorry i just dont know what to do in that situation
your brother was in the wrong there
I know what the brother did was terrible but i dont understand how what he did is illegal
Assault is the crime of making someone fear for their safety and/or fear that they are going to be physically harmed. Battery is the actual physical contact with the victim.
Hi