"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
The older I get the more I realise how toxic so many of these lead males are. I just started True Beauty and I’m on like ep 11 and Sooho annoys me so much. He’s toxic, possessive and low-key controlling. He’s also quite insecure and I just keep wondering “this is supposed to be cute?? Im supposed to swoon over a man like him??” It is not cute whether it’s in a book, k-drama and especially real life
@@KC-rf5cu "About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
As an American who dated a Chinese woman, I learned that a lot of it is cultural expectations. Koreans and Chinese culture are certainly different, but I learned from her enough similarities that I think some of it can apply to Koreans as well -- at least more so than to Americans. (I don't presume to know what your cultural background is) In my experience, it's not insecurity. It's just a MUCH higher degree of possessiveness that's accepted as the norm. I'm projecting that Korean (and Chinese) guys are just matching up the male side of what I experienced. The rest of this comment is optional reading with merely my own anecdotal experiences and lessons to support my points above. Feel free to stop reading here. To be clear: overall I enjoyed my relationship and learned a LOT. Realized some of my own shortcomings as a person and a partner, as well as my relationship needs/priorities. My ex never wrongly blamed or accused me of anything I hadn't actually done, and even that was rare. Overall more intense than I had expected to sign up for. My ex-GF told me she was very relaxed compared to many of her friends and classmates back home. What would be considered insecurity or psychotic possessiveness to an American is accepted as normal or appropriate demonstrations of affection, care, and concern for them. What Americans call neediness or codependency are understood or felt as appreciation or prioritization by them. My ex-GF considered it normal, but told me some stories I thought were absolutely wild (but in line with the stereotypes and cherry-picked social media stories and memes I'd seen). Some of her guy friends overworked themselves 80-100 hrs a week, making major $200k (in USD for me to understand) incomes to pay for their GF's apartment, car, 4-5 digit shopping allowances, etc. And they only got to see their GF maybe a few times a month b/c of work and work-related travel. It was pretty uncommon for her to even have guy friends (whom she wasn't dating). As the Koreans and Japanese say, a woman and a man can't be friends. My ex clearly made it known that she didn't want me to talk to or look at other women when we were together, that I should put her first. But uncharacteristically for Asian GFs, she never showed any interest in checking me for things like chats, texts, etc with other women. In my case, that may have been b/c I literally didn't have any other women actively as friends or acquaintances at the time. :D My ex-GF had adjusted for a few years to the US, but she still expected me to respond within half a work-day to her texts (i.e. by lunchtime or if received after lunch, then by end of work-day). B/c we lived in the same city, she expected me to see her every day. To be clear, she expected that I should WANT to see her every day. And that we would spend 1-2 meals together each day, and most of our weekends together. She also systematically marked her territory by shopping a selection of wardrobe items and accessories that she insisted I wear, or would ask why if I hadn't worn something she'd bought for me. On paper, that may sound incredibly controlling to a Westerner, but from what I experienced with her and observed with her friends/acquaintances, I understood she really WAS relaxed and relatively undemanding compared to her peers. She put guilt-trips on me for not doing certain boyfriend things, but even that fit perfectly within her dating paradigm. Throughout all of it, I mainly felt like I had high expectations to live up to, with my efforts being matched or exceeded by her. Strangely, the two ways I felt the least understood/appreciated by her were 1) she always imposed/prioritized what she enjoyed cooking at home or eating, and seemed to be unconsciously patronizing or dismissive of anything I ever cooked or picked for a restaurant (after 2 years, I could mostly tell what she was doing naturally vs deliberately), and 2) she always wanted me to appreciate or praise her photography work and art, but never tried to understand my ways of verbally expressing this, or to help me understand what she thought was good about her art. I tend to be overly analytical, so I tried to break down and identify her criteria and context for "good art" so that I could understand her context. But she only ever flatly shut me down and said, "I shouldn't have to explain it. You should just know what looks good. I do." Again, I'm 90% sure this was unconscious on her part b/c she was a more intuitive type person than analytical, when it came to her hobbies and passions. (OTOH she was supremely analytical specifically for her career). Other women I've dated (American) have been far less intense and involved (like maybe 15% of what my Chinese ex-GF asked of me), yet far more difficult to deal with. She clearly expressed when she was hurt, frustrated, happy, caring, etc. and we broke up because we both agreed that I couldn't live up to her expectations. Out of 4 relationships in 20 years (and many lesser dates), this was my second-best breakup. She and I kept in touch afterward for a while (at an acquaintance level), and I even checked on her house and cats for a few years afterward when she traveled. This all immediately ended when she met a new BF. (for comparison, I stayed good friends with my best breakup ex-GF, and attended her wedding)
Exactly why I stepped watching k dramas and even some Chinese dramas I gave up on because they make actors normalize possessive behavior and make it culturally acceptable that to be love, you have to either act possessive or put up with possessive behaviors where the other person monopolizes your whole world and you can't be close to other people of the opposite gender.
@@silentstarz16 "About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
How do you know how it is in europe? Yeah it's true that we are not on that high level of obsessive cause we know we all need some space for ourselves but we don't ignore each other. What you said about us it's not true.
@@AngelMonicit was a comment of admiration for their appearance and language speaking skill. I thought it was very endearing. As someone who is bi-language I think it very sweet when people compliment others on their language skills as it takes us years to learn a forgeign language and it acknowledges the time and energy we spend on learning. Plus the two people in the video are increeeeedibly beautiful!
@@Cyhcg5uhgb I understand your point of view, I guess I was thrown off by the "good looking non koreans (...) I have seen it all", it felt like a backsided compliment, like only ugly people speak other languages well or foreigns tend to be ugly. But yes, all of them are very beautiful and I admire people that can learn other languages, it was just this comment that was weird.
@@Rigdjc0183hc I am Italian and i have married a Korean 🤭😉 who said Russians are the only favourite girls by Koreans boy?? Everyone can be the right one for koreans doesn't matter skin colour or nationality important is to have a Gold Credit card for gift them with luxury brand 🤣🤣🤣 and have a University degree, an important job, and a Bank Account that's it, this is all koreans ask to girls like korean girls ask to European men 🤗🤗🤗
International women just a FYI from a Korean woman, MANY and I do mean MANY Korean men are stage 5 clingers. They want you to drop what you are doing NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT it is to text them every hour or half hour. I dated a man that would take off work early if I didn't text him back quickly enough and come to my restaurant, sit and watch me to make sure I wasn't being flirted with by the men who were eating there. It was so irritating.
My god that’s horrific. Wtf this needs to stop, disgraceful behaviour. Chinese and Japanese men are the same. Japanese men need to be separated with woman only trains sometimes because they grope school girls at such a mass scale. "About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
@@AndreasViking1 Oh we have too many of those disgusting men who grope girls and women on elevators, trains and buses. And the amount of men who take up skirt photos was so high that our government made it a law that no cell phones can be sold here without a sound that cannot be muted or taken off so we women can hear if the men behind us have taken up skirt photos so we can ID them and help police find them. My fiance is the kind of good man who is seriously protective of me. He and I were shopping back in the spring and he heard a man behind me snap a photo and glanced back and saw he was taking up skirt photos of me he grabbed the man's phone. We started taking photos to show the police and even got a video of him apologizing for taking the photos of me. My fiance is really buff so the guy was too scared to refuse when my fiance told him he was going with us to the nearest police officer. There were hundreds of photos and videos of women and girls that he had been doing that to and all he had to do was pay a fine. It's so frustrating. Korean parents are also really adamant about wanting their children to marry Koreans instead of foreign women and men. Even my own parents were upset with me when I started dating my now fiance. Even though he was born here in Korea, his biological parents are Korean, he was adopted and raised in the US my parents said it is "just as bad as dating a foreigner". One day my Eomma and I were at the spa and she asked me what made me fall in love with my fiance and was it because he is so handsome. I told her his looks have nothing to do with why I fell in love with him. She asked why. I told her what made me attracted to him was because he is different than any other man who had ever asked me out. She asked what I meant. It's because when he and one of his coworkers (who was born and raised here in Korea)came to my restaurant and I went to give them refills the coworker said to me "you should act more cutely, childlike and speak in a childish manner because many Korean men find that sexy". My now fiance said to his coworker "WTF man? What's with some of you Korean men asking adult women to act and speak like they are children because you find it sexy? That's completely fucked up. At the very least you sound like you are pedophile adjacent. Like you are attracted to underage girls but you know grooming and molesting them is illegal so you want grown women to act like they are children so you can fantasize they are. It's disgusting." My Eomma has adored my fiance since because she was told the same thing by many Korean men in her younger adult years as well. She told my Appa what I told her and how protective my fiance is of me and now they both love him. It's truly disturbing how many Korean men say those things to us Korean women. There's even a female idol group who wrote a song called Nude (g(ilde) is the group. The song is about how those types of disgusting Korean men find underage or cute "childlike" women sexy. We Korean women have been telling female international kpop and k-drama fans to stop thinking just because their favorite male idols and k-celebs. Some of them come here to Seoul and will literally run up to Korean men and hug them without consent because they think the good-looking men are idols or male actors and some of those men take advantage of that. Again not all but too many.
Hells nah, I grew with abandonment issus but all that did to me was to make me distance myself even more bro. I can't imagine what kinda trauma built such behavior in them😢... Anyhow, I don't even call my family once a month. At best I text a very few who help me alot (I'm sorry for being superficial 😭) like a few times a week but anything more than that all drain me to death
She's not..she said right in video she immigrated to Korea..both her parents are Sri Lanken. But she grew up in Korea. Her style choices are definitely Korean cuz it's a lot more modern than the way Sri Lanken girls dress.
I relate to what this lady is saying, and this type of dating that seems to be common in Korea is certainly NOT for everyone. Of course not ALL Koreans are like this so I guess it shows you gotta know the person before dating. Personally, I’m not the type that wants to be texting all day or share each detail of the day. It would stress me out if someone is texting or calling me all day like someone just died or something bad happened. Just text important things and that’s it. I care everyone is eating and clothed fitting to the weather and occasion…however, it is also important for each individuals in the relationship to be a full person on his or her own and have life outside of relationship because everyone definitely needs more than just one person in their life…like a close friends or a trusted coworker etc. I guess what I’m saying is that I could care less knowing everything that my partner thinks, wears, eats and we do not need do absolutely everything together but still be interested and love someone dearly.
I'm Asian. Since I read Wattpad stories and manhwa, I'm the type who likes possessive boyfriend. But my, one of my friend in college got herself a boyfriend and the boy is so possessive. She Tells me what he does. There was one time when he created a massacre in the canteen just bcz my friend was in trouble, and she could have fixed it by herself but he overreacted. When my friend doesn't pick up calls, he starts calling me non stop cz she and I spend most of the time together in clg. She also mentioned that there was one time she got so angry and told him if he does things like this she'd break up with him. He cried a lot said he'd commit suicide then his mother called her requesting her to calm him down. It's been one year since they started dating but she has so many stories to tell me that it feels like they've been dating for 10 years. My dream of having a possessive bf flew away.
OMG I hope she broke up with him!!! In Korea, he is a big red flag. Many Koreans are more possessive about their partners, but he crossed the line- BIG. He is not a normal Korean man. If you ask Korean women and men, they will advise her to run away, “safely.” He will likely become a stalker, and may turn violent too. that kind of man is the worst nightmare for Korean women.
A lot of those are classic signs of an abusive partner, or someone who will become so soon. Please advise your friend to get out of that relationship while she can. She may get hurt badly if she stays.
@@PoeticOcean Hello, how are you? Hope you and your loved ones are good? Anyway, is it allowed to light Nutjobs like that Up? I'm saying if he becomes a stalker or violent. I believe in the Taze Affair. He'll think he Will See Stars and Fireworks all in one Jolt! 😂😂😂😂😂🦊🐾⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡
I think what you really want is a caring, supportive and attentive boyfriend. I think that is what most people want. And we should all be so blessed to have such a person in our lives. But caring, supportive and attentive is the same as possessive. People are not possessions and should not be treated as such. Possessiveness is not caring, loving, nor supportiveness, because it is not about the other person. It is about the person being possessive.
I think it’s a cultural things, not insecurity. I remember when I first started dating my Japanese husband, he would call me every hour to give me an update on where n what he’s doing + with who when he was out with his friends. My usual Chinese American response was “why u calling me so much? Have fun, just text me when u get home safely. Bye”. 😂
Texting too frequently throughout the day is exhausting. It'd make more sense if he did text you a few times in a day but also leave room for the end of the day when you guys are together to talk about how his day went and so on.
Same thing with me, my girl would want updates throughout the day not cause she is obsessive but because she wants to feel closer and she isn't Korean and Japanese, she's Indonesian, but being half Asian I understood the cultural differences, also gotta remember Asian parents are quite dotting on their kids, they always want an update or know how you are doing, this I noticed even in my Asian side of my family.
I'm Eurasian and I got extremely frustrated when my ex wouldn't leave me alone, I guess that's the western side of me. We need to live our own lives sometimes, not be stuck 24/7, that's culturally induced insecurity.
The only time my partner calls me is when there's an emergency. If he called me every hour I would have anxiety 24/7. We text constantly though, but I think it's just because we're nerds.
She's right. I live in america and am not Korean but I briefly went out with a Korean guy and he expected us yo text every single day and see each other every single day. That was too much for me.
Considering that is exactly what marriage would be like, and if his goal with you was marriage, then he isn't wrong for expecting such, but it's fine there are plenty of fish in the sea, especially for Asians. Literally 60% of the global population.
@@haruyanto8085 Well during marriage you live together. There is no need to text. I would think that person is lazy with no job if he's texting all day.
@@haruyanto8085I was married, my husband would not dare text me all day, that's not normal, or cute. It's creepy and obsessive, culture is not an excuse...what did they do before cell phones?
Even i'm also Asian, but people who demand for their text to be replied every hour is something not good i think. I mean, even with my parents or family, i'm not that really intense in texting/calling.
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
I dated a Korean guy who had been living in the states for 9 years and he was still like this to an extent: he moved super fast toward a relationship in our dating and would ask me to call him late at night and things and I just couldn’t handle it I was not used to that much demands and interaction with someone I’d only went out with two times
yaa i too actually see people watching kdrama wanting the male lead to be possessive and saying it's kinda cute and the male lead is the green flag they say then as red glags just bcoz they are not possessive damn
In France we don’t text every minute each other, for example my man texted me in the morning: hey, hi baby I hope you doing well to day, have a good day, see you later Love you: I reply too. We stand there! I can text him like 12-13 pm like what to you eat etc.. we don’t send 100 messages. Send 100 don’t mean the person loves you.
Although I understand the perspective in other comments about the good intention and why Koreans do this, it still sounds toxic to me. People need to remember that good and genuine intentions can still result in actions that backfire or cause more harm then good. I see a version if this kind of dating style in all cultures I study or learn about, though it is more encouraged in some than others. The main difference I've seen between avarage dating that Doesn't last long or stay healthy VS healthy and happy long lasting relationships is a strong, relaxed, respectful and considerate behavior + mindset towards personal boundries, clear communication, freedom, space, and choices. Neither the woman nor the man are treated like the pet of the other. They are life *partners.* These specific dating behaviors she mentions sound very nieve, obsessive, insecure/controlling/selfish and mainly focused on infatuation and less on the trust, understanding and respect between both people as humans and adults. I do langauge exchange and I have friends from all over, including Korea, who agree with me on this and are concerned by it.
Somehow I feel like Americans have no business lecturing anyone on "long lasting" relationships considering the divorce rate. How many single moms are there in Korea? Obviously Koreans have more fulfilling relationships...
@@marvinsulzer8258right it’s not called obsessiveness/Controlling Its called following traditions and norms that have worked for generations to keep a stable life
@@tribaljukebox1773But thats why the birth rate is so low. Marriages of the past are not working for the people now because of that old mindset. Space can be a good thing for a relationship. Yes our divorce rate is high because we rather be single then to continue lying to ourselves.
For, it’s not the frequency of the texting that would be a problem. I don’t mind texting through out the day on a daily basis with someone that I enjoy talking to. I’m big on talking (and I’m a writer) so I like texting. The thing that would get me is the jealousy: asking who I’m with, where I am, what am I doing now, wanting a vote on what I wear and eat. That is how you check up on a young child, like under 12 or in elementary school and younger. That is not how you check on an adult. I consider myself as one who likes a lot of attention and I like to be checked on regularly, by the people in my life, but not that much. That’s too much attention, even for me.
Yet it's America with the highest divorce rate. It's America with the largest number of struggling single moms. Somehow, we should learn from how Koreans do it... A country where kids grow up with both parents. And domestic violence in Korea is far less common than in America. We are a country of traumatized children that are either raised by struggling single moms (no father figure)... Or where the parents stay together, the parents are often abusive.
@@LisaCutie409Babe... Marriage doesn't work in America... majority of marriages fail. People feel sorry for single moms. I don't. I feel sorry for the kids stuck with single moms.
@@marvinsulzer8258finally someone with sense. To them, these relationships are "possessive".....bro, it's a fuckin relationship.....you're deciding to dedicate part of your life to another.....no wonder there's so many failed relationships in the west.....cuz everyone wanna be the boss of themselves.
She needs to stop dating them. They want to control her and she doesnt listen to them. They are not her type. Shes not doing anything wrong. These korean guys want to impose their korean culture on her . Its a very conservative society.
She looks like an Indian . But someone said she is srilankan. But all the same srilankan Indian both look same. We have one srilankan actress working in our industry too.
@@studymf_ In the dark ages of the Internet, around 1997, there was a website called something like All Look Same. It was a joke site with a 25-photo quiz to see if you could guess the specific Asian background of each person. The site's stats said the average score was 7. I'm Asian-American, and I personally scored something like 4 out of 25. So yeah, with people in a test environment out of context, Asians do look alike. :P Also also, as much as Koreans and Japanese may resist admitting it, going back 30,000+ years most of Asian genetic heritage (and a lot of its prehistoric and early history) originated in what is now China. But of course a lot of that wasn't "Chinese" as we understand it now -- even with Chinese culture's very long history. So it also would not be appropriate for modern Chinese culture to claim credit for being the superior or parent culture any more at this great distance. I'm Vietnamese, and most modern Vietnamese don't know or want to accept that our entire people were basically a minor Chinese/pre-Chinese ethnic group that got chased south. Over the course of a couple thousand years, we migrated south and displaced or exterminated at least 2-3 other cultures along the way.
My Ex was Korean But He wasn't like what she describe.he was Mature,understanding and loving Caring.i was just enjoying his love.i didn't know i have to give back love..i realise i didn't do my best or didn't do a good job to keep such a great man After break up.the Only good thing i gained from our break up is i Now know what true love is and i Now can tell if a man truly love me or not..
I noticed a lot of these dating experiences are from Koreans and foreigners in their 20s. Does anyone know what Korean dating culture is like for people over 30?
They show obsessive and possessive behaviors more in their 20s. In 30s, they calm down a little bit 😅 they are more mature and considerate. If a Korean man i his 30s behave possessive, that might be a red flag.
My Italian husband call me 2 o 3 a day sometimes but not every day. Sometimes we are busy when can’t keep talking all the day we are 7 years together. it’s depend of the relationship you are. But testing all the time is ok at the beginning but after it’s too much.
That's my problem too, girl. I'm an Asian and I have a dating style like her. Maybe that's why a lot of men found me troublesome sometimes because they felt I'm indifferent 😅
@TalulahC true. At first, I thought that I was the problem because lots of them said that "you're too independent" or "don't be picky, your walls are too high for men to climb." But it turned out their mindsets are the problems
@@daebak7370why should she hold herself accountable? Nobody is accountable for anything in this relationship. Because neither of us know the actual relationship, it really sounds like two people with different dating styles got together. On well, you live and learn.
@@thatasiangirl0_039 she is pretty much saying that their mindset is the real problem and holding them accountable doesnot this fact contradicts with your statement in defending her 😂
I live in America and the one Korean guy I dated briefly was like that. Not so much my clothes but always wanting to know where I am and what I’m doing. At the time, I thought it was just him but it seems more like a cultural thing maybe.
They made comments you say about how they wanted you to dress. Well wearing a skirt so high up gives the wrong impression. Try walking down the street like that in the US it would be very different!!
Here is an explanation from someone who was exposed to both Korean and western culture. I’m Korean men, and I can’t see myself doing this but I’ve grown up in the US. Listening to this one sided from foreign female perspective doesn’t tell you the entire story. My Chinese girlfriend(now wife) was the one that was exactly like this. Always wanting to know everything; my whereabouts, when I wake up, what I ate, etc. it’s definitely a cultural thing, and guess what? The Korean/Asian female is exactly like this 😅. I know it’s the perfect opportunity to bash on Korean men, but the way dating works is different in Korean/asian culture than western. Less explicit stuff like s3x, hooking up, and making out. Explicit PDA is not okay in Korea. They prefer more romance, affectionate and exclusive(possessive) type of dating.
Exactly, I understand when she means they become aggressive or upset, but that's part of a relationship, he will let you know when you do things he doesn't like and as the women you have to do the same, it's bad when men do it but when Asian women do it they are okay, frankly I believe it has to do with western media and Hollywood that portrays Asian men badly.
I disagree with this conclusion. I don't think people in the comments are misguided or naive enough to think that this kind of behaviour doesn't happen with women. It's not like it's something we don't see from both men and women. In fact, I've seen many comments not specifically reference men but relationships so I think saying that people are only judging Korean men and giving a pass to women is going too far. Also, this particular video is from the perspective of a woman so it's only natural that a lot of the discussions will lean the same way. I honestly do not understand why people act like it's so ridiculous for comments to be in the context of the video.
@@basugunja what to you mean? He is black and gorgeous. He is really handsome and dress really well, so he is gorgeous. I'm confused with your statement
@@8RGL Barack Obama is gorgeous. Rather he is the only black man whom I find gorgeous. I do not find black boys and men gorgeous or attractive looking overall.
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating." "About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
The texting thing, I guess you're just not compatible. The man and the woman that is so different even when it comes to small habit should find someone similar to them. You'll know sometimes it's not red flag, you just don't match. That's real life.
No if someone texts you every few hours & gets MAD that you don’t respond right away? Major red flag. If they’re texting you & want to know where you are, who you’re with, what you’re wearing constantly- even bigger red flag.
I don't mind this as well, it is better than texting once a week, like they don't care etc But I talked with korean men, not all like that, the one I am talking to are not like that at all... )) Maybe it depends Her korean is amazing 😊 I should reach this level one day :))
This is so much true. I remember my ex said I needed to ask him for permission if I ever want to cut or dye my hair 😅 I also wasn't allowed to wear shorts when he wasn't around
That is why he became your "ex!" He is Not Your Father! These men are Insane! Forget that! That's Tooooo Much Stress! Stress that type, Kills( Literally)! You want a Healthy Normal Relationship! There may be differences, discuss these things! Don't Allow No Man to put Their Hands on You! No Women, No matter the Culture! Don't stand for that Behavior! Not @ All!🤨🦊🐾🌺🌅🦋
@@haruyanto8085 Tis true! However, there are Strong Western women who taught their children how to be strong. The neuro surgeon( Ben Carlson)grew up without a father, he and his brother. His mother didn't play. So it's not always based on that but the strength of the parent that don't play they slay( in other words you do your best in school and know what you're headed for). Don't be a victim, be the survivor with God's help! So many have gotten away from what is right! 🐾🦊🌅🦋🌺
@@haruyanto8085 Love your bunnies. My friend had 2 . They died of old age. Are they your pets? Not, pls, for consumption! Pls don't be upset, just asking. I love animals so much! I hate hurt that comes to them. I wanted to be a vet, but I can't stand to put them down or the sight of blood( especially if they're hurt). I will do my best to get help.. Yep, wear my heart on my sleeve. Strong -minded in other ways, though! 🤨 Also, love your name! 😊🦊🐾🌅🦋🌺
I'm not sure if it's because of the specific translation that it came across this way, but the words 'I'm not curious about what they're doing - not because I don't like them, but because I have things to do' were hilarious :')
@@CosmicValkyrie yep, I thought it was telling (in a positive sense) that it didn't even occur to her to be tracking a beau's every move when she could be using the time otherwise 😅
Now I realize why am I so frustrated with my friend and don't want to communicate at all. The constant clinginess. Nothing related to korea though, but I didn't realize why recently I have started evading giving all sorts of reasons 😂
If they text all the time, then I should definitely date a Korean dude, we go crazy together with what others call insecurity 😂 I actually don't think it's because they're all insecure, could be anything but that.
@@junnafur First thing you all should know, not everything someone comments in here they indeed mean it, but yeah I get what you mean and for my opinion I don't think someone texting you all the time is insecurity sometimes could be anything but insecurity
@@saranaila5905 Because in reality I'm not that interested in it, I have two Korean buddies we met in my country (2017) and started language exchange and it's true they text me all the time but all I think about is that everyone is different, but to be honest dating any of them hasn't ever crossed my mind
Tbf Korea has a lot of sexual assault cases and scandals. I think the same could be said for almost anywhere. The men probably just want to keep her safe by making sure she has a hotline. Definitely something you learn to tone down in the west.
i don't think so... korea is very safe and men are respectful and shy more than women but i beleive this is normal for dating at teenages...for western girls it is annoying bc they have so many partners in their teen life while koreans are sincere in their relations.
![ไม่ต้องมีที่ที่ให้ฉันอยู่ แต่ขอแค่มีฉันอยู่ก็พอ (Spaceless) - getsunova [SHORT FILM]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MuT0d_cvJkc/mqdefault.jpg)
Full video: th-cam.com/video/kTxTiQu5s1c/w-d-xo.html
How do I watch the full video?
How did u learn Korean kexplorer 😊
How did u learn Korean kexplorer
@@jubalphoebe7643 Dunno we can't copy that link😢
She just discribed all the kdrama male leads that we find cute
😂😂 just in kdrama
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
😂 Yeah cute on tv, but is it cute in real life? Is it? I think not. But that’s just my opinion. Some might like it.
The older I get the more I realise how toxic so many of these lead males are. I just started True Beauty and I’m on like ep 11 and Sooho annoys me so much. He’s toxic, possessive and low-key controlling. He’s also quite insecure and I just keep wondering “this is supposed to be cute?? Im supposed to swoon over a man like him??” It is not cute whether it’s in a book, k-drama and especially real life
@@KC-rf5cu "About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
She is Sri Lankan. Not mixed race. She immigrated to Korea from Sri Lanka with her family when she was young. She grew up in Korea.
YESSS 🤞
Do u know her ig??
@@jiminshoneycrush6013shes in youtube video
Oh I'm sri lankan too damn
No wonder she's really fluent 😲
Damn those Korean guys were insecure
No that's how their relationships go I had a Korean roommate and even he said exactly what she just said. Relationships are obsessive
As an American who dated a Chinese woman, I learned that a lot of it is cultural expectations. Koreans and Chinese culture are certainly different, but I learned from her enough similarities that I think some of it can apply to Koreans as well -- at least more so than to Americans. (I don't presume to know what your cultural background is)
In my experience, it's not insecurity. It's just a MUCH higher degree of possessiveness that's accepted as the norm.
I'm projecting that Korean (and Chinese) guys are just matching up the male side of what I experienced. The rest of this comment is optional reading with merely my own anecdotal experiences and lessons to support my points above. Feel free to stop reading here.
To be clear: overall I enjoyed my relationship and learned a LOT. Realized some of my own shortcomings as a person and a partner, as well as my relationship needs/priorities. My ex never wrongly blamed or accused me of anything I hadn't actually done, and even that was rare. Overall more intense than I had expected to sign up for.
My ex-GF told me she was very relaxed compared to many of her friends and classmates back home. What would be considered insecurity or psychotic possessiveness to an American is accepted as normal or appropriate demonstrations of affection, care, and concern for them. What Americans call neediness or codependency are understood or felt as appreciation or prioritization by them.
My ex-GF considered it normal, but told me some stories I thought were absolutely wild (but in line with the stereotypes and cherry-picked social media stories and memes I'd seen). Some of her guy friends overworked themselves 80-100 hrs a week, making major $200k (in USD for me to understand) incomes to pay for their GF's apartment, car, 4-5 digit shopping allowances, etc. And they only got to see their GF maybe a few times a month b/c of work and work-related travel.
It was pretty uncommon for her to even have guy friends (whom she wasn't dating). As the Koreans and Japanese say, a woman and a man can't be friends. My ex clearly made it known that she didn't want me to talk to or look at other women when we were together, that I should put her first. But uncharacteristically for Asian GFs, she never showed any interest in checking me for things like chats, texts, etc with other women. In my case, that may have been b/c I literally didn't have any other women actively as friends or acquaintances at the time. :D
My ex-GF had adjusted for a few years to the US, but she still expected me to respond within half a work-day to her texts (i.e. by lunchtime or if received after lunch, then by end of work-day). B/c we lived in the same city, she expected me to see her every day. To be clear, she expected that I should WANT to see her every day. And that we would spend 1-2 meals together each day, and most of our weekends together. She also systematically marked her territory by shopping a selection of wardrobe items and accessories that she insisted I wear, or would ask why if I hadn't worn something she'd bought for me.
On paper, that may sound incredibly controlling to a Westerner, but from what I experienced with her and observed with her friends/acquaintances, I understood she really WAS relaxed and relatively undemanding compared to her peers. She put guilt-trips on me for not doing certain boyfriend things, but even that fit perfectly within her dating paradigm. Throughout all of it, I mainly felt like I had high expectations to live up to, with my efforts being matched or exceeded by her.
Strangely, the two ways I felt the least understood/appreciated by her were 1) she always imposed/prioritized what she enjoyed cooking at home or eating, and seemed to be unconsciously patronizing or dismissive of anything I ever cooked or picked for a restaurant (after 2 years, I could mostly tell what she was doing naturally vs deliberately), and 2) she always wanted me to appreciate or praise her photography work and art, but never tried to understand my ways of verbally expressing this, or to help me understand what she thought was good about her art. I tend to be overly analytical, so I tried to break down and identify her criteria and context for "good art" so that I could understand her context. But she only ever flatly shut me down and said, "I shouldn't have to explain it. You should just know what looks good. I do." Again, I'm 90% sure this was unconscious on her part b/c she was a more intuitive type person than analytical, when it came to her hobbies and passions. (OTOH she was supremely analytical specifically for her career).
Other women I've dated (American) have been far less intense and involved (like maybe 15% of what my Chinese ex-GF asked of me), yet far more difficult to deal with. She clearly expressed when she was hurt, frustrated, happy, caring, etc. and we broke up because we both agreed that I couldn't live up to her expectations. Out of 4 relationships in 20 years (and many lesser dates), this was my second-best breakup. She and I kept in touch afterward for a while (at an acquaintance level), and I even checked on her house and cats for a few years afterward when she traveled. This all immediately ended when she met a new BF. (for comparison, I stayed good friends with my best breakup ex-GF, and attended her wedding)
@@dakaodo exactly what he said.
Probably they gotten cheated before! Not over here tho, we alpha male over here 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
With a 3 inch size
You would be top
Understandable why people said korean was a country to visit, not to live in.
If you are a westerner, yes.
This is what I am always telling to US friends as Korean
Exactly their culture is toxic
There's pros and cons with every country. This is coming from an American.
Same in Japan
I feel like everything she said about dating in Korea is exactly what we also see happening between couples in kdramas
Exactly why I stepped watching k dramas and even some Chinese dramas I gave up on because they make actors normalize possessive behavior and make it culturally acceptable that to be love, you have to either act possessive or put up with possessive behaviors where the other person monopolizes your whole world and you can't be close to other people of the opposite gender.
@@silentstarz16
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
@@Curly_Fry.d Korean institute of criminology is the source, it’s published and made accessible
Facts.
Its irritating most rich guys don't have time
Damn we Asians need feel loved 24/7
While in europe - the less the interaction the longer relationship the couple has😅
asian? not all like that 🙄
Not all Asian like that even some koreans don’t like that
Lol. Not all Asians.
How do you know how it is in europe? Yeah it's true that we are not on that high level of obsessive cause we know we all need some space for ourselves but we don't ignore each other. What you said about us it's not true.
It’s not love it’s control and insecurities, meaning abuse.
Seeing two good looking non Koreans speak korea. Wow, I truly have seen it all now.
This comment is weird… people go to other countries and learn the language why is it so unique? Besides the good looking comment was unnecessary
@@AngelMonicit was a comment of admiration for their appearance and language speaking skill. I thought it was very endearing.
As someone who is bi-language I think it very sweet when people compliment others on their language skills as it takes us years to learn a forgeign language and it acknowledges the time and energy we spend on learning. Plus the two people in the video are increeeeedibly beautiful!
@AngelMonic your reply is weird
@@Cyhcg5uhgb I understand your point of view, I guess I was thrown off by the "good looking non koreans (...) I have seen it all", it felt like a backsided compliment, like only ugly people speak other languages well or foreigns tend to be ugly. But yes, all of them are very beautiful and I admire people that can learn other languages, it was just this comment that was weird.
@@AngelMonicI really don't get your point. Or what your problem is with her commenting on their looks. They both look beautiful
i only watch these vids bc this man's style
This is not a men , this is a meen 😂😂
Nado 😂😂😂😂😂
Right?? He’s so hawt 🔥in a respectful way
I'm not digging his hair this week but his outfits are awesome
@@Rigdjc0183hc I am Italian and i have married a Korean 🤭😉 who said Russians are the only favourite girls by Koreans boy?? Everyone can be the right one for koreans doesn't matter skin colour or nationality important is to have a Gold Credit card for gift them with luxury brand 🤣🤣🤣 and have a University degree, an important job, and a Bank Account that's it, this is all koreans ask to girls like korean girls ask to European men 🤗🤗🤗
International women just a FYI from a Korean woman, MANY and I do mean MANY Korean men are stage 5 clingers. They want you to drop what you are doing NO MATTER HOW IMPORTANT it is to text them every hour or half hour. I dated a man that would take off work early if I didn't text him back quickly enough and come to my restaurant, sit and watch me to make sure I wasn't being flirted with by the men who were eating there. It was so irritating.
My god that’s horrific. Wtf this needs to stop, disgraceful behaviour. Chinese and Japanese men are the same. Japanese men need to be separated with woman only trains sometimes because they grope school girls at such a mass scale.
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
Girl!!!!!!!! That's a different type of trauma. 😮
@@AndreasViking1 Oh we have too many of those disgusting men who grope girls and women on elevators, trains and buses. And the amount of men who take up skirt photos was so high that our government made it a law that no cell phones can be sold here without a sound that cannot be muted or taken off so we women can hear if the men behind us have taken up skirt photos so we can ID them and help police find them. My fiance is the kind of good man who is seriously protective of me. He and I were shopping back in the spring and he heard a man behind me snap a photo and glanced back and saw he was taking up skirt photos of me he grabbed the man's phone. We started taking photos to show the police and even got a video of him apologizing for taking the photos of me. My fiance is really buff so the guy was too scared to refuse when my fiance told him he was going with us to the nearest police officer. There were hundreds of photos and videos of women and girls that he had been doing that to and all he had to do was pay a fine. It's so frustrating. Korean parents are also really adamant about wanting their children to marry Koreans instead of foreign women and men. Even my own parents were upset with me when I started dating my now fiance. Even though he was born here in Korea, his biological parents are Korean, he was adopted and raised in the US my parents said it is "just as bad as dating a foreigner". One day my Eomma and I were at the spa and she asked me what made me fall in love with my fiance and was it because he is so handsome. I told her his looks have nothing to do with why I fell in love with him. She asked why. I told her what made me attracted to him was because he is different than any other man who had ever asked me out. She asked what I meant. It's because when he and one of his coworkers (who was born and raised here in Korea)came to my restaurant and I went to give them refills the coworker said to me "you should act more cutely, childlike and speak in a childish manner because many Korean men find that sexy". My now fiance said to his coworker "WTF man? What's with some of you Korean men asking adult women to act and speak like they are children because you find it sexy? That's completely fucked up. At the very least you sound like you are pedophile adjacent. Like you are attracted to underage girls but you know grooming and molesting them is illegal so you want grown women to act like they are children so you can fantasize they are. It's disgusting." My Eomma has adored my fiance since because she was told the same thing by many Korean men in her younger adult years as well. She told my Appa what I told her and how protective my fiance is of me and now they both love him. It's truly disturbing how many Korean men say those things to us Korean women. There's even a female idol group who wrote a song called Nude (g(ilde) is the group. The song is about how those types of disgusting Korean men find underage or cute "childlike" women sexy.
We Korean women have been telling female international kpop and k-drama fans to stop thinking just because their favorite male idols and k-celebs. Some of them come here to Seoul and will literally run up to Korean men and hug them without consent because they think the good-looking men are idols or male actors and some of those men take advantage of that. Again not all but too many.
That’s probably because their moms cater to them 24/7, and they’re looking for the same in a gf.
Hells nah, I grew with abandonment issus but all that did to me was to make me distance myself even more bro. I can't imagine what kinda trauma built such behavior in them😢...
Anyhow, I don't even call my family once a month. At best I text a very few who help me alot (I'm sorry for being superficial 😭) like a few times a week but anything more than that all drain me to death
Her korean is so good ㅠㅠㅠㅜ
She is mixed
She's not..she said right in video she immigrated to Korea..both her parents are Sri Lanken. But she grew up in Korea. Her style choices are definitely Korean cuz it's a lot more modern than the way Sri Lanken girls dress.
Yayyy a Shawol!!!
Yeah, she probably went to elementary/ high school in Korea
@StyleswithCourtney
A guy texting me all day long..No way! Bye 👋
Women do this
@@Billdean25that's a huge generalisation. Men do it too. It's nothing about gender just personal preference
Don’t cry when he stops texting u
@@Billdean25 I don't, my bf does n he will spam me if I don't reply him more than 30 mins😂
Youre prob on your phone all day the least you can do is reply
I relate to what this lady is saying, and this type of dating that seems to be common in Korea is certainly NOT for everyone. Of course not ALL Koreans are like this so I guess it shows you gotta know the person before dating.
Personally, I’m not the type that wants to be texting all day or share each detail of the day. It would stress me out if someone is texting or calling me all day like someone just died or something bad happened. Just text important things and that’s it.
I care everyone is eating and clothed fitting to the weather and occasion…however, it is also important for each individuals in the relationship to be a full person on his or her own and have life outside of relationship because everyone definitely needs more than just one person in their life…like a close friends or a trusted coworker etc. I guess what I’m saying is that I could care less knowing everything that my partner thinks, wears, eats and we do not need do absolutely everything together but still be interested and love someone dearly.
Probably those guys gotten cheated before. Never happened to me, we alpha male over here 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
@@BabylonGateLAwell with 3 inches
What do you expect
@@Billdean25 Come on man, nobody has 3 inches lol most men are 5-6 inches. Me myself is 6 1/2, 7 inch fully.
@@BabylonGateLA Korean men are 3 inches according to studies
Agreed
I'm Asian. Since I read Wattpad stories and manhwa, I'm the type who likes possessive boyfriend. But my, one of my friend in college got herself a boyfriend and the boy is so possessive. She Tells me what he does. There was one time when he created a massacre in the canteen just bcz my friend was in trouble, and she could have fixed it by herself but he overreacted. When my friend doesn't pick up calls, he starts calling me non stop cz she and I spend most of the time together in clg. She also mentioned that there was one time she got so angry and told him if he does things like this she'd break up with him. He cried a lot said he'd commit suicide then his mother called her requesting her to calm him down. It's been one year since they started dating but she has so many stories to tell me that it feels like they've been dating for 10 years. My dream of having a possessive bf flew away.
I'm glad, you redirected that thought! Ugh! That's Insane like he is! Wow, what Total Insecurity! No Way! 😳🤨🐾
OMG I hope she broke up with him!!! In Korea, he is a big red flag. Many Koreans are more possessive about their partners, but he crossed the line- BIG. He is not a normal Korean man. If you ask Korean women and men, they will advise her to run away, “safely.” He will likely become a stalker, and may turn violent too. that kind of man is the worst nightmare for Korean women.
A lot of those are classic signs of an abusive partner, or someone who will become so soon. Please advise your friend to get out of that relationship while she can. She may get hurt badly if she stays.
@@PoeticOcean Hello, how are you? Hope you and your loved ones are good? Anyway, is it allowed to light Nutjobs like that Up? I'm saying if he becomes a stalker or violent. I believe in the Taze Affair. He'll think he Will See Stars and Fireworks all in one Jolt! 😂😂😂😂😂🦊🐾⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡
I think what you really want is a caring, supportive and attentive boyfriend. I think that is what most people want. And we should all be so blessed to have such a person in our lives. But caring, supportive and attentive is the same as possessive. People are not possessions and should not be treated as such. Possessiveness is not caring, loving, nor supportiveness, because it is not about the other person. It is about the person being possessive.
Her Korean is so perfect omg !
I was just about to say that!
Sri Lankan Korean mixed
she moved to korea with her family from sri lanka when she was young so she grew up there
she has been living there for 16 years
@@ivysp321oh no WONDER! 😮
I think it’s a cultural things, not insecurity. I remember when I first started dating my Japanese husband, he would call me every hour to give me an update on where n what he’s doing + with who when he was out with his friends. My usual Chinese American response was “why u calling me so much? Have fun, just text me when u get home safely. Bye”. 😂
Texting too frequently throughout the day is exhausting. It'd make more sense if he did text you a few times in a day but also leave room for the end of the day when you guys are together to talk about how his day went and so on.
You are so lucky. Do you know it right?
Same thing with me, my girl would want updates throughout the day not cause she is obsessive but because she wants to feel closer and she isn't Korean and Japanese, she's Indonesian, but being half Asian I understood the cultural differences, also gotta remember Asian parents are quite dotting on their kids, they always want an update or know how you are doing, this I noticed even in my Asian side of my family.
I'm Eurasian and I got extremely frustrated when my ex wouldn't leave me alone, I guess that's the western side of me. We need to live our own lives sometimes, not be stuck 24/7, that's culturally induced insecurity.
The only time my partner calls me is when there's an emergency. If he called me every hour I would have anxiety 24/7. We text constantly though, but I think it's just because we're nerds.
Dude, this guy is extremely gorgeous!
And this girl too, omg both are gorgeous!!
She's right. I live in america and am not Korean but I briefly went out with a Korean guy and he expected us yo text every single day and see each other every single day. That was too much for me.
Considering that is exactly what marriage would be like, and if his goal with you was marriage, then he isn't wrong for expecting such, but it's fine there are plenty of fish in the sea, especially for Asians. Literally 60% of the global population.
@@haruyanto8085 Well during marriage you live together. There is no need to text. I would think that person is lazy with no job if he's texting all day.
@@TheGirlsimmer1that texting all day, dont mean every minute of the day.
@@haruyanto8085I was married, my husband would not dare text me all day, that's not normal, or cute. It's creepy and obsessive, culture is not an excuse...what did they do before cell phones?
Stay single don't destroy other men's life
Even i'm also Asian, but people who demand for their text to be replied every hour is something not good i think. I mean, even with my parents or family, i'm not that really intense in texting/calling.
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
But you are on your phone all the time tho. Why aren't you responding? Do you really put your phone down for hours on end? Stop the cap
Who knew Korean guys also lived in mojo dojo casa houses?
Omggg i know her😂 she is srilankan girl . Unnie love you
Why do y’all say this as if your language is impossible 😂
I dated a Korean guy who had been living in the states for 9 years and he was still like this to an extent: he moved super fast toward a relationship in our dating and would ask me to call him late at night and things and I just couldn’t handle it I was not used to that much demands and interaction with someone I’d only went out with two times
you dated him for 9 years??? you had such a long running relationship wow
@@madkmadk6809 oh no he was in the STATES for 9 years... I only dated him about two weeks sorry for the confusion
@@Carolina-cm6nu ah i understand now 😅 thanks
You went out twice? That's not dating.
@@Carolina-cm6nu two weeks? That's not dating.
Girl your Korean is on point even though I don't understand.
She’s so prettyyyyy
Mixed Sri Lankan Korean
Mixed
@@StyleswithCourtneynot mixed 100% sri lankan
Yum
@@StyleswithCourtneywhy assuming she’s mixed ? Not mixed people are beautiful as well
She makes me want to learn Korean ❤
I also wanted to learn it at one time♡
#SaveSoil
Same
She's gorgeous.
Mixed
Mixed
@@StyleswithCourtney she's 100% Sri Lankan
She's Beautiful. 😍 🤩 😁
His style is just chef’s kiss
she is really cute, I like how she laughed when she said the guys get mad when she won't tell them what she ate.
we only want this in kdramas, but get irritated easily when it's happening for real 😊
yaa i too actually see people watching kdrama wanting the male lead to be possessive and saying it's kinda cute and the male lead is the green flag they say then as red glags just bcoz they are not possessive damn
This is what I always hear about dating Koreans. I've never dated anyone like that. Maybe that's why I'm not discouraged. I'd give it a chance.
In France we don’t text every minute each other, for example my man texted me in the morning: hey, hi baby I hope you doing well to day, have a good day, see you later Love you: I reply too. We stand there!
I can text him like 12-13 pm like what to you eat etc.. we don’t send 100 messages. Send 100 don’t mean the person loves you.
Although I understand the perspective in other comments about the good intention and why Koreans do this, it still sounds toxic to me.
People need to remember that good and genuine intentions can still result in actions that backfire or cause more harm then good.
I see a version if this kind of dating style in all cultures I study or learn about, though it is more encouraged in some than others.
The main difference I've seen between avarage dating that Doesn't last long or stay healthy VS healthy and happy long lasting relationships is a strong, relaxed, respectful and considerate behavior + mindset towards personal boundries, clear communication, freedom, space, and choices.
Neither the woman nor the man are treated like the pet of the other.
They are life *partners.*
These specific dating behaviors she mentions sound very nieve, obsessive, insecure/controlling/selfish and mainly focused on infatuation and less on the trust, understanding and respect between both people as humans and adults.
I do langauge exchange and I have friends from all over, including Korea, who agree with me on this and are concerned by it.
Somehow I feel like Americans have no business lecturing anyone on "long lasting" relationships considering the divorce rate. How many single moms are there in Korea? Obviously Koreans have more fulfilling relationships...
@@marvinsulzer8258non-sequitur
Correlation vs causation
@@marvinsulzer8258 true
@@marvinsulzer8258right it’s not called obsessiveness/Controlling
Its called following traditions and norms that have worked for generations to keep a stable life
@@tribaljukebox1773But thats why the birth rate is so low. Marriages of the past are not working for the people now because of that old mindset. Space can be a good thing for a relationship. Yes our divorce rate is high because we rather be single then to continue lying to ourselves.
I love his voice so much,he has a elegant voice ❤❤❤
This girl is so intelligent 😍 and beautiful love her to bits ❤
She's beautiful😮
It is called boundaries ladies.
For, it’s not the frequency of the texting that would be a problem. I don’t mind texting through out the day on a daily basis with someone that I enjoy talking to. I’m big on talking (and I’m a writer) so I like texting.
The thing that would get me is the jealousy: asking who I’m with, where I am, what am I doing now, wanting a vote on what I wear and eat. That is how you check up on a young child, like under 12 or in elementary school and younger. That is not how you check on an adult. I consider myself as one who likes a lot of attention and I like to be checked on regularly, by the people in my life, but not that much. That’s too much attention, even for me.
Aaaaa I know her...She is Sri lankan and has her own yt channel..
Name of the channel please
@@Mushasi_the_legend Showma in korea
😂😂😂 lol the girly scream❤
She looks like exotic Prince from India ❤
Or even take too long to text. At least koreans text you back right away
True that 😊
First of all, can we all just take a moment, how hella handsome this guy, who is interviewing looks like, damnnnnn
Hope those guys learned their problem was their insecurity
His Korean has such a strong Japanese accent I thought they were going to be talking in Japanese until she started speaking.
How if she hadn’t start to talk yet ?
More like american accent
She speaks so well... 😮. Without video, I'd think she was native.
She is Srilankan
I don't speak Korean but I think this girl speaks perfect the language ❤
Her Korean is better than your English
Her korean is so good omg😭
She’s so pretty!
Very pretty 😍
Aside from her beauty her Korean is incredible
just Asian loyal boy things >>>>🗿
Right
Can’t believe that actually caring about ur partner is considered insecurity in the west
@@tribaljukebox1773 😂and we Asian loves it
I want to date this lady
They're both so good looking and her smile is so pretty ❤
I will say this, kdrama or Cdrama is true to some of the behaviors of Asian men. About 85%
What are they like??
This doesn't work in the West
Yet it's America with the highest divorce rate. It's America with the largest number of struggling single moms. Somehow, we should learn from how Koreans do it... A country where kids grow up with both parents.
And domestic violence in Korea is far less common than in America. We are a country of traumatized children that are either raised by struggling single moms (no father figure)... Or where the parents stay together, the parents are often abusive.
@@LisaCutie409Babe... Marriage doesn't work in America... majority of marriages fail. People feel sorry for single moms. I don't. I feel sorry for the kids stuck with single moms.
@@marvinsulzer8258finally someone with sense. To them, these relationships are "possessive".....bro, it's a fuckin relationship.....you're deciding to dedicate part of your life to another.....no wonder there's so many failed relationships in the west.....cuz everyone wanna be the boss of themselves.
Damn both of you speak very well in korean..nice
She pretty
She needs to stop dating them. They want to control her and she doesnt listen to them. They are not her type. Shes not doing anything wrong. These korean guys want to impose their korean culture on her . Its a very conservative society.
It's all she knows... She wouldn't know what to do if she dated a non Korean
Hi. Thank you for the nice video 🫡
Omgoshhh who is tHis Queen❤
interviewer is so fine 😳 the girl too ❤
너무나도 정확한 문법과 발음으로 자신의 생각을 말하는 한국어를 너무나도 잘하는 외국인
I love obsessive dating lmao 😂 bc I’m equally obsessed and like to be texting and calling all the time… I like my bf to be a built in best friend 🙈🙈
That's not even close to what best friends do
She looks like an Indian . But someone said she is srilankan. But all the same srilankan Indian both look same. We have one srilankan actress working in our industry too.
lmfao this is so backhanded
She said herself that she's Sri Lankan.
Your logic is same as all asian are Chinese
@@studymf_ In the dark ages of the Internet, around 1997, there was a website called something like All Look Same. It was a joke site with a 25-photo quiz to see if you could guess the specific Asian background of each person. The site's stats said the average score was 7. I'm Asian-American, and I personally scored something like 4 out of 25.
So yeah, with people in a test environment out of context, Asians do look alike. :P
Also also, as much as Koreans and Japanese may resist admitting it, going back 30,000+ years most of Asian genetic heritage (and a lot of its prehistoric and early history) originated in what is now China. But of course a lot of that wasn't "Chinese" as we understand it now -- even with Chinese culture's very long history. So it also would not be appropriate for modern Chinese culture to claim credit for being the superior or parent culture any more at this great distance.
I'm Vietnamese, and most modern Vietnamese don't know or want to accept that our entire people were basically a minor Chinese/pre-Chinese ethnic group that got chased south. Over the course of a couple thousand years, we migrated south and displaced or exterminated at least 2-3 other cultures along the way.
Sri Lankan are not Indian
They have more dravidian
Her Korean is sooo good
한국말 나보다 잘한다
I think it should be 더 잘한다. Just saying.
@@dishman1966 No
@@dishman1966 아니요, 여기에 "보다"다고 맞다
What she describe is only red flags……
only kdrama second leads are green flags
Who doesn't have red flags these days???
She’s a beaut.
Dam she cute
Omg she's soooo pretty... Im just looking at her ❤
Omg, her Korean, so jealous of it! Korean American here. 😢
My Ex was Korean But He wasn't like what she describe.he was Mature,understanding and loving Caring.i was just enjoying his love.i didn't know i have to give back love..i realise i didn't do my best or didn't do a good job to keep such a great man After break up.the Only good thing i gained from our break up is i Now know what true love is and i Now can tell if a man truly love me or not..
ok that man is absolutely dripping from head to toe
I noticed a lot of these dating experiences are from Koreans and foreigners in their 20s. Does anyone know what Korean dating culture is like for people over 30?
That is a very good question! Would love to know!
Same freak Korean men over 30 but worse
They show obsessive and possessive behaviors more in their 20s. In 30s, they calm down a little bit 😅 they are more mature and considerate. If a Korean man i his 30s behave possessive, that might be a red flag.
Pretty woman
My Italian husband call me 2 o 3 a day sometimes but not every day. Sometimes we are busy when can’t keep talking all the day
we are 7 years together. it’s depend of the relationship you are. But testing all the time is ok at the beginning but after it’s too much.
Looks indian to me. She is pretty ❤❤
Sri Lankan
I was thinking Latin
Mixed Sri Lankan Korean
South asian. (sri lankan)
@@Billdean25 she's 100% Sri Lankan.
That's my problem too, girl. I'm an Asian and I have a dating style like her. Maybe that's why a lot of men found me troublesome sometimes because they felt I'm indifferent 😅
But you don’t have any problem, those guys are the problem.
@TalulahC true. At first, I thought that I was the problem because lots of them said that "you're too independent" or "don't be picky, your walls are too high for men to climb." But it turned out their mindsets are the problems
@@Devi_Seonawhy do women never hold themsleves accountable for anything always self deflecting
@@daebak7370why should she hold herself accountable? Nobody is accountable for anything in this relationship. Because neither of us know the actual relationship, it really sounds like two people with different dating styles got together. On well, you live and learn.
@@thatasiangirl0_039 she is pretty much saying that their mindset is the real problem and holding them accountable doesnot this fact contradicts with your statement in defending her 😂
I live in America and the one Korean guy I dated briefly was like that. Not so much my clothes but always wanting to know where I am and what I’m doing. At the time, I thought it was just him but it seems more like a cultural thing maybe.
They made comments you say about how they wanted you to dress. Well wearing a skirt so high up gives the wrong impression. Try walking down the street like that in the US it would be very different!!
Why he is so fine danggg❤❤❤
Here is an explanation from someone who was exposed to both Korean and western culture.
I’m Korean men, and I can’t see myself doing this but I’ve grown up in the US.
Listening to this one sided from foreign female perspective doesn’t tell you the entire story.
My Chinese girlfriend(now wife) was the one that was exactly like this. Always wanting to know everything; my whereabouts, when I wake up, what I ate, etc.
it’s definitely a cultural thing, and guess what? The Korean/Asian female is exactly like this 😅. I know it’s the perfect opportunity to bash on Korean men, but the way dating works is different in Korean/asian culture than western.
Less explicit stuff like s3x, hooking up, and making out. Explicit PDA is not okay in Korea.
They prefer more romance, affectionate and exclusive(possessive) type of dating.
Exactly, I understand when she means they become aggressive or upset, but that's part of a relationship, he will let you know when you do things he doesn't like and as the women you have to do the same, it's bad when men do it but when Asian women do it they are okay, frankly I believe it has to do with western media and Hollywood that portrays Asian men badly.
I disagree with this conclusion. I don't think people in the comments are misguided or naive enough to think that this kind of behaviour doesn't happen with women. It's not like it's something we don't see from both men and women. In fact, I've seen many comments not specifically reference men but relationships so I think saying that people are only judging Korean men and giving a pass to women is going too far. Also, this particular video is from the perspective of a woman so it's only natural that a lot of the discussions will lean the same way. I honestly do not understand why people act like it's so ridiculous for comments to be in the context of the video.
I don't know... I'd feel kinda insecure, too, if guys were approaching her. She is definitely good looking.
I think this kind of possesiveness looks good only in kdrama's ... In real life its quite suffocating to be with such a partner.
This guy is so gorgeous
The guy is not at all gorgeous. He is a black person.
@@basugunja what to you mean? He is black and gorgeous. He is really handsome and dress really well, so he is gorgeous. I'm confused with your statement
@@8RGL Barack Obama is gorgeous. Rather he is the only black man whom I find gorgeous. I do not find black boys and men gorgeous or attractive looking overall.
@@basugunjaracist
@@lemontadams3029 I am not a racist because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
우와 한국어 진짜 잘 하시네요~ 부럽다
And here i am, thinking of my jealous ex who was 1/10 of the toxicity she describes but i was still feeling suffocated and threw the whole man away
Ish, no, that's a red flag
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
They sound controlling, insecure and to be frank abusive. Also, she is stunning! ❤
"About 8 in 10 Korean men said they had used violence against romantic partners. According to a study conducted by the Korean Institute of Criminology, 1,593 of 2,000 Korean men, or 79.7 percent, said they had abused a girlfriend while they were dating."
"About 71 percent of those who admitted to a history of dating abuse said they had control over their girlfriends' personal activities, such as restricting them from meeting friends or keeping them isolated from others, including family members."
The texting thing, I guess you're just not compatible. The man and the woman that is so different even when it comes to small habit should find someone similar to them. You'll know sometimes it's not red flag, you just don't match. That's real life.
The comment I used my precious time to find 🎉
No if someone texts you every few hours & gets MAD that you don’t respond right away? Major red flag.
If they’re texting you & want to know where you are, who you’re with, what you’re wearing constantly- even bigger red flag.
@@ambriaashley3383Exactly. They need to be secure in themselves not a parasitic, insecurely attached individual.
Hmm, I might agree with you. You have a point.
@@ambriaashley3383
Depend on context and circumstances..
She is Sri Lankan
I don't mind this as well, it is better than texting once a week, like they don't care etc
But I talked with korean men, not all like that, the one I am talking to are not like that at all... ))
Maybe it depends
Her korean is amazing 😊
I should reach this level one day :))
This is so much true. I remember my ex said I needed to ask him for permission if I ever want to cut or dye my hair 😅 I also wasn't allowed to wear shorts when he wasn't around
That is why he became your "ex!" He is Not Your Father! These men are Insane! Forget that! That's Tooooo Much Stress! Stress that type, Kills( Literally)! You want a Healthy Normal Relationship! There may be differences, discuss these things! Don't Allow No Man to put Their Hands on You! No Women, No matter the Culture! Don't stand for that Behavior! Not @ All!🤨🦊🐾🌺🌅🦋
@@audreywright1101The problem is most western women grew up without a father or without a father figure
@@haruyanto8085 Tis true! However, there are Strong Western women who taught their children how to be strong. The neuro surgeon( Ben Carlson)grew up without a father, he and his brother. His mother didn't play. So it's not always based on that but the strength of the parent that don't play they slay( in other words you do your best in school and know what you're headed for). Don't be a victim, be the survivor with God's help! So many have gotten away from what is right! 🐾🦊🌅🦋🌺
@@haruyanto8085 Love your bunnies. My friend had 2 . They died of old age. Are they your pets? Not, pls, for consumption! Pls don't be upset, just asking. I love animals so much! I hate hurt that comes to them. I wanted to be a vet, but I can't stand to put them down or the sight of blood( especially if they're hurt). I will do my best to get help.. Yep, wear my heart on my sleeve. Strong -minded in other ways, though! 🤨 Also, love your name! 😊🦊🐾🌅🦋🌺
OMG! asking permission for hair cut? that's insane!
I even don't ask my mom and dad's permission to cut it.
I'm not sure if it's because of the specific translation that it came across this way, but the words 'I'm not curious about what they're doing - not because I don't like them, but because I have things to do' were hilarious :')
she just politely said she has a life.
@@CosmicValkyrie yep, I thought it was telling (in a positive sense) that it didn't even occur to her to be tracking a beau's every move when she could be using the time otherwise 😅
Seems like a perfectly normal statement though.
Now I realize why am I so frustrated with my friend and don't want to communicate at all. The constant clinginess. Nothing related to korea though, but I didn't realize why recently I have started evading giving all sorts of reasons 😂
Her accent is crazy holy
Me who only focused on her Korean proficiency and was like "Will I be this fluent in Korean if I will ever live in Korea?" :"(
If they text all the time, then I should definitely date a Korean dude, we go crazy together with what others call insecurity 😂
I actually don't think it's because they're all insecure, could be anything but that.
Go for it then what's stopping you?
How about you help yourself before you date much less someone with the same mess as you. That sounds like it’d be a really toxic relationship tbh
@@saranaila5905looks 😂
@@junnafur First thing you all should know, not everything someone comments in here they indeed mean it, but yeah I get what you mean and for my opinion I don't think someone texting you all the time is insecurity sometimes could be anything but insecurity
@@saranaila5905 Because in reality I'm not that interested in it, I have two Korean buddies we met in my country (2017) and started language exchange and it's true they text me all the time but all I think about is that everyone is different, but to be honest dating any of them hasn't ever crossed my mind
Jerry's drip, though...
Her accent is freaking perfect, I swear, I'm freaking out.
Are you korean?
@@user-qf5pn1je2f 네
Tbf Korea has a lot of sexual assault cases and scandals. I think the same could be said for almost anywhere.
The men probably just want to keep her safe by making sure she has a hotline. Definitely something you learn to tone down in the west.
i don't think so... korea is very safe and men are respectful and shy more than women but i beleive this is normal for dating at teenages...for western girls it is annoying bc they have so many partners in their teen life while koreans are sincere in their relations.
@@AhmedMohammed-xq5eplmao what. What you think means nothing if it’s true. Sexual assault is a huge problem in Korea and to deny that is problematic