Narcissistic personality disorder in women | Dealing with a narcissistic woman | BPD *UPDATE:* Dr. Ramani says narcissists *can* have empathy but it’s lacking compared to “normal, emotionally healthy people” and they often withhold it, anyway. #runaway WAKUP2LUV - *GET A (SANE) GIRLFRIEND!* members.wingmam.com/get-women/
@@YourWingmam I've been watching your videos . I have confidence and charm I just like listening to the way you carry yourself when you speak. I added you on facebook
@@YourWingmam ha ha in the 1970s they sold a shampoo called Gee you hair smells terrific and that's what I would tell them. Oh and watch out for males who say they love your personality because you know they have alternative reasoning. They really saying God your beautiful. Your personality is nice though also.
we stunning funny burd we fat baldly scotsmin here wing-girl have you lost weight lucky girl. ps I luv that we dug what's its name pss glad you got through that. psss as a real scotsman Iwe have a great take on the English lingo its ra-man-I hope that helps hope that's not to narcissistic for you.ahahahaha.
My ex wife is a covert narcissist. Everything you say is the truth. The amount of mind fuckery with these types is unbelievable. I had no idea anyone could be so toxic... especially someone I loved and thought loved me. I will never be fully rid of her, we have a small child together. If I may offer some words of advice, 1.Always be alert around people who constantly play victim and never hold themselves accountable for their own actions. 2. Sometimes what seems to be “cute quirkiness” is actually thinly veiled mental illness. 3. It’s hard to see the red flags when your looking through rose colored glasses.
Yep 💯 same as my ex wife she destroyed our little family for nothing she got dumped but walks around like she has done nothing wrong so entitled it's horrendous
Im in the same place ,and now she tries to blackmail me using the baby,i havent seen my baby in 4 month now,i call and no answer ,i msg her and told if she wont file for divorce i will,no father deserve this, to not see your owm baby growing in your own eyes ,she is 11 month now ,ohh and by the way i caught her talking with another guy talking throw voice msg on instagram ,and then she lied to my parents and to her parents that i beat her,the amount of trauma this woman gave me is unbeliveble.
@@YourWingmam this is soo ture. I had this thought constantly, I even told her "I will need to record what you're saying because this is completely insane what you try to do to me" - I was thinking about gaslighting (back then I didn't even know that term existed.
If one has to record their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend then it is time to say goodbye. If one needs to spy then there is nothing worth spying on. Get out. Get on with your life elsewhere. Everything she has said sounds like my first husband.
I experienced physical abused in the past. When we broke up she tried to put me to jail with lies. Till this day I'm traumatized. So people out there, it's good to listen to these advices. It's good to see the best in others. It's good to love unconditionally. But, love yourself also. Protect yourself also. Learn from my mistake.
GrasshoppingSnappoppin Thats because ALL women are narcs ( in the USA). Just the way it is. Date foreigners. Way better relationship “ for awhile anyway”.
@@robertmcguckin2713 Wrong all women are not... but in the west all girls are taught to revere women who are. (The learned behavior can be undone, the nature not so.)
Exactly leave at first red flag but the best tip is do not get in any kind of relationship cause they can't live without drama and bullshit. Oooo also tell everyone about it cause these once love hurting others just because they are fucked up so people should be warned just so they don't get hurt for no reason
Nailed it. A narcissist or psychopath' will always be that way. Even if they pretend to love, and have emotions, they are like a rubber band, stretched out, and will eventually, and always snap back into that behavior. You just described what I have been going through for 7 years. I have to find a way to end this.
I hope you find a way. You’re not alone. I’ve been in the same type of situation but I wasn’t dating this ugly idiot. I rejected her and she went crazy and just went berserk on my ass and started harassing + seeking a relationship at the same time for 3+ years but prior to those 3 years she spent 3 trying to research + study me and see how she could get into my life the way she wanted to. I rejected this freak more than 3000 times and I literally mean 3000 times, she has narcissism and psychopathy and erotomania
I had a female NPD in my life for a while. Somehow, every man that she had ever been involved with was the worst person in the world. She was supposedly never in the wrong. No contact now.
WOW. I have one now that calls me the worst all the time. Sex is crazy insane but just doesn’t want it as often as I do. She records conversations,goes into a psychotic rage when she doesn’t get her way. Always says why does this happen to me my life is hell and always says I think my depression is bothering her. This video is on the money.
This makes me feel so much better to hear this! My ex-girlfriend was a text-book narcissist! My flaw was that I bought into it hook, line and sinker...and I mean SINKER! I thought I could "fix" her, but she brought my down to her level. I'm learning from my mistakes and using it as a growth opportunity.
Evil always brings anyone it touches down to its own level if victims are not very wise and careful. Get away from evil as soon as you can; and in the meantime, learn how to effectively deal with it by social distancing when you can.
„A handful….” Nice words for the most brutal, devastating, soul and heart crushing experience, I have ever had. These are absolutely true monsters! There is nothing else to say!
Having dated a girl with , I felt, strong narcissistic traits (I'm not qualified to diagnose her as being a narcacist, and there's no way she would go to get checked) I did a shit ton of research into it, after a friend told me that (from even just briefly reading our text exchanges that) "she is a narcacist" . She was achingly beautiful (my pov, other friends would disagree) but I found I could not be myself around her. Constantly feeling I was in a word and actions frame battle. Key takeaways: Having wake away, I can look back and realise, 1 they are NOT master manipulators. In hindsight, it was basic, and clumsy, and if anyone else had behaved the same way towards me I would have told them to FO. But this narc just triggered something within me. 2. It is NOT a personality disorder. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She could (and Did) turn it on and off at will when it suited hrr agenda, MEANING she had control over it, meaning it was a conscious decision, meaning it is NOT a disorder she can't control. 3 They will Never change. NEVER. Meaning stop trying to change them. You cannot fix them. STOP explaining yourself to them. You don't talk to a narc, you HANDLE THEM, like you would a snake. Meaning you will find yourself acting like a narc, to manipulate the narc. And You don't want to turn into a narc yourself. So the only solution is to walk away.
Somethings here... First I understand that you feel something about the situation with your (former) partner... been there, done that. But... If you are not comfortable making a diagnosis, because you are under qualified, what was your friends qualification? What was the qualification of your research? Your realizations: 1. You say they are not master manipulators, in hindsight(!), however you were manipulated... obviously so, because you had to see it hindsight! 2. It IS a personality disorder, in fact a Spectrum B Personality Disorder. If your research had been as nearly complete as you wish us to believe you would have know the difference between knowing what your doing and being able to choose to do something else. You would have also know, specifically, that you are accurately describing a symptom of the disorder. 3. You are correct, they will not and can not change, there is no cure, and there is no fix. They are not, however, snakes. Nor do they have the power to recruit you to their condition. Walking away IS your best option, especially if your expertise in dealing with them is limited to your friends opinions and what research you could be bothered to do on the internet. But then again, how do we know that this isn't YOUR Spectrum B ramblings of "my victimhood"?!?!?!
You have misunderstood some of the things I was saying, and I had considered trying to explain, but really, my thought is I've said what I want to say. I'm not here to start a prolonged debate. I'm not going to try to persuade you or justify myself. That's one thing I've learnt from all that. Because it just goes round and around and around in circles. And it got to the point of: "You can believe whatever you want to believe, but you'll get no more from me" (shortened now to "Whatever") Now it's a case of : 'I want to live my life this way', if you want that too, that's great, if not, then we'll go our seperate ways.
@@bolt-dbtfg I got what you wanted to say. It was well articulated and a good comment. Some people just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing. And they don't really share their own experiences with others or give anything to the conversation like you just did. Thank you for your share! It was very useful!
One year with my Covert Narcissist/Dismissive Avoidant: MONTH one : Great MONTH two : Greater MONTH three : Fabulous (heavy love bombing starts/mirroring...) MONTH four : Heaven (I love you...) MONTH five : Seventh heaven... MONTH six : Mask starts to come off (devaluing starts...) MONTH seven : full devalue/dismissive behavior, refusal to talk about issues by ignoring, silent treatment and an aloofness as if I did not even exist, very strange behavior if you've never dealt with this before... MONTH eight : distancing/lying begins (gaslighting also)... MONTH nine : lying clearly shows... MONTH ten : Frustration for me begins to set in... MONTH eleven : Everything is my fault... MONTH twelve : I left her for good, NO contact at all, PERIOD MONTH thirteen : Rebuilding myself. MONTH fourteen : Her; closure letter mailed to me. (attempt to Hoover me.) Me; Still NO contact, too late for her, I DID NOT RESPOND. I learned a lot of new phrases I never heard before regarding Covert Narcissism. Without a doubt, a one-sided relationship and it was horrible. I wish it upon nobody.
wow... it does seem they attend the same University! I can totally relate to this with my ex BPD/NPD. You must be more cleaver than me... i stuck around for 2,5 years clearly suspecting something is terribly wrong. Thanks for the chart!
Congratulations! Glad to hear you made it out! It took me 18 years to leave and now I am trying desperately to get my self esteem back and be myself once again. Not sure if it is doable? Hate and distrust all women! Make me sick!
robert McGuckin it’s doable!!! 100% Will take sometime.... it’s like babysteps. But eventually it’ll come. I know right now it must be hard to believe considering state of mind you are in... but it will definitely come. Trust me.
My mother was full blown NPD. Took me into my 50’s to finally understand what she was. If only I’d known sooner. They really F with your head, especially as a child.
My ex wife was full blown NPD too. She F’d with my head too. What made it worse was her parents were full blown NPD’s too. If I knew what I knew now I would’ve kicked her to the curb along time ago
@@rod1727 yes. Do your best to get full custody. Studies show children of NPD parents do not usually far well in life. As your attorney if you can get court ordered mental evaluation of both parents.
@@rod1727 Save your daughter, do whatever you can to remove her from the narc. Whenever you can, give your daughter your real unconditional love and validation. Validation of the victim’s feelings and emotions is grossly lacking in narcissistic relationships so make time, every day if possible, to let her talk about how she is feeling and about every aspect of her emotions and then give her the validation she desperately needs. Never tell her what to feel or what not to feel, that’s what the narc does too much of already, every feeling and emotion she has is real and valid, make sure she knows that. Teach her how to grey rock her mum, that is never give any emotion to the narc, don’t give them anything other than the minimum in conversation, this will help protect her and give her strength, as grey rock is the only tool a codependent can use and it is effective. Never try to change the narc, they are not capable of self reflection so they can’t change, so don’t bother trying, they are not worth the effort. I recommend Doctor Ramani, she has an excellent TH-cam channel about recovering from and dealing with narcissists Knowledge, compassion, validation and love will help your daughter, so you have the power to help her, even if you can’t get custody. At the age of 53 I’ve just gone no contact and started therapy to help me accelerate my growth after a lifetime of struggling with the effects of having narcissistic parents. It’s bad enough to have to have one narc parent, having 2 narc parents left me with no allies within my own family. Stay strong and loving for her, she needs you more than you can imagine. Good luck my good man.
Personally I wish men (myself included!) could feel safe reporting and/or talking about domestic abuse without being judged as weak or un-masculine. We are taught to just shut-up & pay the bills! The research is incomplete without our input guys!! Media & society view NPD as a predominantly male issue, but I can name 25 female narcs for any 1 male in my life. Modern feminism & political correctness makes it impossible to even ask accountibility of a female, but the numbers of male/female NPD are WAY wrong!!!
Psychological abuse women use has damaged me to the point I'm indifferent to a good portion of people. The last couple of women used flying monkeys, this only caused everyone to see their "ways".
Iam 6'6" , 250lbs, and just left my wife after she was abusive and assaulted me for the 3rd time. NPD just described over 50% of all women I know! I only know 1 man that fits the bill, however, I know 50 women that meet the described traits.
My wife is true narcissist. I went emotionally bankrupt, financially bankrupt, and homeless for 8 months because of her. And she turns her nose up and blames me for Everything. Now we have a 6 month old baby and I'm about to sue her for emotional abuse, and it's going to be difficult because she's basically like a relentless evil witch, she's making life as hard as a jawbreaker
As a guy with malignant narcissists for my immediate family, I'm begging you to just start the divorce process asap and don't get too attached to your physical possessions. It'll save what sanity you have left and some heartache. Best of luck. God bless you and your daughter Sir.
3 years Later ... How it is going man ? Been there . (* A very riged battle that you may Not win. Entire system will back her lies and turn you into some sort of mental case. )
Narcissists are extremely jealous a narcissist female doesn't want you but if all of the other women want you she will be your girlfriend just so you want date anyone else 🤐
Wow.....give my life to that woman...32 yrs..love and devotion Never was she happy....built a trucking company....built a cattle ranch....built...an aviation company...always depressed...never accepted that we build it together....of course this is life... it's no easy But she covert.... Oldest daughter had issue....the loud narasist....helped her mother get divorced..... My crime..... Being a man...that loved his family.... My golden year now are homeless and broke.....it was their hope... They under estimate....the man I am.....silly people... With maturity...comes knowledge I can build a new life in 10% of the time it took to learn in the beginning....... The greatest thing I can do....is show them....the life they missed out on.... Thank you for helping me understand... There are 1000 good men that ....are good men....
WOWWW This was me but luckily i didnt invest ANYMORE time and money into her....Nothing i did was ever appreciated and anything i gave her never meant much.. All she cared about was going out to club parties and the fact that recently during Covid, there hasnt beeeen any real parties, she was always depressed and told me she couldnt deal with the "RESPONSIBILITIES' that come along with being in a relationship (with me) 😒😒
I’ve been married to a narcissist as you have described in EVERY way for 22 years ! I have 3 kids with her an I divorced her last month. I did the right thing but I’m sad , she just got worse! This is incurable .. I didn’t know that .. TY
Hang in there. Give yourself a break. Sometimes we can't tell the difference between a poison berry and a nutritional berry. Many times they look the same at first glance. Women are gorgeous creatures and difficult to resist.
Even trying to get away from a narcissistic female friend is exhausting and challenging. But the peace you have when they finally give up is so worth it. Truly there is no other way.
Life is a Journey I’m terribly sorry to hear that, I hope things turn around for you soon. It’s one thing for her to choose someone else over you, but an unfair smear campaign is an awful thing to experience.
Life is a Journey happened to me as well except the guy she got with was a push over type that respected me. That’s the last time I’ll ever share personal information with a female.
I don't even want a Narcissistic Person in my circles ever again ...it's super annoying and a huge waste of energy to deal with these people. Thanks for all the great education Videos here, very very helpful 🙏💕
I just left my on again, off again 6 year relationship with a covert/ bpd two time fiance. Men, trust me, Anna is telling it like it is! You can't love it out of her, she will destroy you! Great video...thank you so much for what you do!
Narcissists need behavioral modification therapy to see themselves as they are; and learn to understand why they are like they are; and learn how to change for the better and for good. This could take years or forever; depending on the level of their mental pathology. There is a song about this called 19th Nervous Breakdown.
I got hoovered back many times I was promised the world everything was going to change the truth is the nicest hated you for leaving in the first place so they just want you to come back so they can hurt you more it never gets better it only gets worse they only get worse the paranoia the delusion it actually gets worse in time they usually self-destruct and destroy themselves
@H D ye man that shit will set you up for a world of hurt for decades untill you realise whats happening. you will be fucked up, so will any siblings, then you end up with the same kind of women as your mother and posibly even messed up kids if you dont catch yourself in time. ask me how i know :D
Bless you for this video. You need to mention that if you're an empath narcissist are attracted to you and will drain you of life and happiness. You want to use a good mind trick on a narcissist? Once you recognize a narcissist simply look at them and say, what I've done many times, "I understand you and accept you for who and what you are." Drop the mic and walk away forever. just my 2 cents.
I learned about narcissism from my ex. Her whole family, collectively, was the epitome of text book narcissism. Each member had a different trait. Her mother was the queen bee of it all. My ex claimed to be just a victim of it all, but she exhibited a few of the examples you provided. Now I'm free of it, and went no contact. Wish I had learned about this before getting knee deep in it. But, I did a huge lesson from it.
I think I was involved with a narcissist. My wife died and her ashes were on a shelf at home. When a new girlfriend saw the ashes she went into a rage, taking the ashes off the shelf and threatened to smash the box to pieces on the driveway! Evidently she saw my wife's ashes as the competition. Needless to say the relationship was over pretty soon after that happened! Love your videos!
Even if she was just really really insecure, that's an unhealthy woman and you're lucky to be out of it. I have dealt with death a lot and know widows and widowers who have found solace in new relationships with partners who've been through the same experience. If both new partners loved their lost partners, even if their relationships weren't perfect, they can usually lean on each other in their grief and bring greater intimacy to the relationship. :)
That is MAD behaviour!!! I can not believe how wrong that is...Very sorry to hear that you had such a disrespectful person in your life. Good man for throwing her out! I got very angry for hearing about this behaviour!
"Needless to say the relationship was over pretty soon after that happened! " What took so long? To me that was clearly a Black flag and that should have ended it right then and there.
Thank you Wingmam for this “on point” educational/informative video. I was married to a narcissist for 7 years. I lost my career and my children. Everything you are describing about narcissism is absolutely correct. I hope you continue to get this out to everyone. Thanks again.
They will smear campaign you when your relationship ends and they will make you pay for not worshiping them. And they will always be a victim. Smearing is only them trying to control you. Smearing is how they control you to a third person.
Married one for over 8 years with a young kid. She’s been holding me back in many ways for a while, yet she comes back saying I ruined her life and forced her into marriage.. I am like WHAT?? Friends/relatives of her all think I am the evil.. All these years I was able accumulated a good chunk of wealth while she stays home every day trying to get validations from social media and bitching at me. During the divorce, she wanted everything from me including our child.. Telling you boys now, stay away from them at all cause! If you don’t have children yet, walk away NOW and don’t look back!
divorced my ex BPD/NPD a yesr ago! I am thankful to God we did not managed to have a child! She was pushing for it from the day one. Run guys... she wont get better... she dies not want to get better. She knowingly will destroy you. She DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
I am an older twice widowed man. I only wish that I had discovered "wingman" before I jumped into dating pool. My life could have been a lot less stressful. I have watched only two of wingman video and learned so much about myself as well as the women I have encountered. Thank you wingman keep up the good work.
I could write a couple of books, she's gone and I'm watching you learning everything again after reprogramming. They are diabolical,ruthless and just plain cruel
@@YourWingmam well I take half the blame, after all I did choose her That don't mean after sticking your finger to a hot stove eye to do it again either. Scars remind me not to repeat what caused them. Of course some people just don't get the memo
@Steve Miller running seems like the best thing to do. Once burned you know it's hot and draw your hand back from the stove eye. With her, she's the hot stove eye. Be very careful with welding gloves on kinda hot. Better yet run, run , keep running then run some more
Co workers also can be evil, toxic, narcissists for competition and fun harming others. You cannot avoid them; and therefore, must learn to deal with them without becoming evil also.
I have been married for almost 20 years now to a narcissistic woman. Communal narcissist - that’s her. Now she is divorcing me after having had an affair with the guy who was working on our house. She’s totally trying to screw me over, thank God I found a good lawyer. The hard part is that we have a teenage son together, I sacrificed my work, my career, my friendships, just about everything for her. I wish I had never met her. I am praying that God will give me the strength to see to it that she gets what she deserves in court. I’m already having to move out of the house even though it’s she who cheated and I am the stay-home parent. Thank you for this video.
@@ganymeade5151 that was where it ended up. But trauma bond, repetition compulsion and codependency are so powerful to keep you locked down into the relationship. But as I said, you are so right that the only solution is to leave and start to look why you find it so attractive. When you start to find yourself in it all you can find the strength to let go.
You know something, at a time I was struggling real bad, I turned to my friend group, I hate asking for help, but I got the courage and the narcissist was like "people with real mental problems" very rude. I felt then I couldn't turn to anyone after that, and that put me in a bad spot, I though people hated me on top of the problem I was having.
My ex was both! Today marks exactly one year since I broke up with her. It's been a battle, but I am seeing the light, and life is changing for the better. Videos like these, definitely help. Keep them coming!
I was married to a covert narcissist and your video helped me identify this. I understand the point that you made about there being fewer real narcissist women than men, however these days there are an alarming number of female covert narcissists. Additionally, it has been stated that female covert narcissists are very difficult to identify.
@@YourWingmam Its the most depressing thing you ever put on your site. It ruins faith in womankind, taints my Mother's home cooking and causes my favorite sports teams to lose. Shame on you! I still have a headache.
@@slickonesie Toxic is toxic mukka. Just run. Also read the title again, she includes BPD in this. Had an ex diagnosed as BPD, yet narcissism (as described here) fits the bill.
Number 3 cannot be overestimated: set boundaries and impose consequences without fail. Number four is why it is so important to recognize toxic people before getting involved - they can will torture you when you are with them and will go for blood when you try to leave.
Describes my ex perfectly. A control freak who would fly into a rage any time that she didn't get her way, or thought that she was being criticized no matter how diplomatic I or someone else was. My son said after Basic Training that the drill sergeants didn't yell as much as she does!
@@morthim unfortunately most of the single females I meet are. That's why they are single. All the "good ones" are married to "good viable men" or elderly, or severely disabled. That leaves the "bottom of the barrel" women to choose from, and unfortunately most are narcissists. I'm better off alone.
@@hannap8052 it's worse. The land of opportunity is like a double edge sword for narcissists. They are the worst opportunists of all. They, like every other creature come in male and female. I've met my share of them, to the point of now forsaking a hope of a wife, and remaining single.
I am married to a woman who seems to have many of these characteristics 😔. Adding to that, she has a nearly photographic memory, but seems to twist the truth as what is described in gaslighting 😕
Totlly same boat. 5 year off and on again now married with a child. I finally woke up and am ending this. I’ve seen a handful of other videos on narcissistic personality disorder, but this is absolutely the most succinct and sad to say extremely fucking scary because it is the absolute truth. Not talking about any kind of denomination, but I’m genuinely praying for you and I hope you find happiness… Trust me you need to GTFO
I could not touch anything in MY house? She turned my office into a guest bedroom while I was out of the country on biz. Also, had to turn off my cell phone after 9 so it didnt disturb the kids?!
I never really knew exactly what a narcissist was, so I came here to learn lol but this describes a girl I dated a few years ago. It describes her to a T. It’s almost scary how accurate this is to her lol
So glad you finally did this one Anna. There's LOTS to it. Here's a couple of add-on subjects: - COVERTS keep the Drama between you & them private - ie: covert. It's a reputation thing! - She's My Soulmate (NOT!- but females ["coverts"] won't show they're ugly til you're in deep) - A Predominant Focus On 5 "Fs"- Food, Family, Fighting, F%cking & Fleeing the relationship. - Hoovering: = sucking you back in with sweet [and forever-shallow] promises and apologies. - Trauma Bonding Abuse cycles (Stockholm syndrome), and resulting CPTSD.
I am suffering from Stockholm syndrome. I can't move on even though I know she is the worst, I am suffering from panic attack but she gave zero fuck about it. Left me in my worst situation!
Very accurate Peter. I experienced much of the same, even the C-PTSD, even suicidal moments. Not fun, and VERY dangerous. People who have not experienced it do not understand how serious it is.
It’s amazing how spot on this video is. My ex checked every single box on the list. I swear she was literally only alive to seek validation from anyone who would give it. She needed it constantly. They live absolutely pathetic and worthless lives
I appreciate how this channel extensively and consistently covers relationships, from the more normal conditions to special cases such as personality disorders. Special cases are rarer, but must also be known. Anna really seems to know about relationships!
I never believe the "official stats" because they're generally not only wrong, but deliberately wrong. Look at the stats for female drivers vs male drivers in terms of "safe driving". Females tend to cause more accidents but get off the hook for shit because patriarchy is necessarily gyno-centric; we tend to look out for and protect females from reality. In my 40 years I've met maybe 3 male narcissists and more than 30 females narcissists. Genuine narcissists. I believe that social media and the current Post Modernist education/entertainment/media scheme is not only creating more female narcissists but also exposing tons who have flown under the radar for years before social media became such a huge deal to the average person
@@YourWingmam Absolutely, I spent years of my life being gas lighted and abused, once I finally understood it was a lost cause and that to save myself I had to have absolutely no contact I've been free and i know the signs and I see them almost immediately, the level of insecurity that feeds the narcissist personality is unbelievable, I now find it to be the most unattractive trait in human beings and I can see why it makes women run away as well! Ok my rants over lol
They can modify, if THEY choose to... the problem is that they can always modify back, and in almost every case they absolutely will. The other problem is tat the closer you are to them the harder it is to predict when it is time to evacuate, if you have time for warning signs at all!
So true. Good video. It is complete match with my ex narc. When I figured out what I was dealing with I have spent some time getting the strength to Get our, but I continued to learn obout Narcisisam because something kept me interested in topic, later I have realised that that knowledge kept me stayed out. Keep up with good work. Your videos are very important. GOSO. GET OUT STAY OUT.
Thank you for making these videos and for standing up for dudes. Guys really do get mistreated by women often and it's nice to have someone from the other side recognize that. It's comforting. So thank you. We have feelings as well.
I'm a woman watching your videos and learn a lot about narcissists behaviour! My mother was one, so I have learned very early in life to avoid her attention and today I'm able to see and feel quickly what kind of person I'm dealing with to handle them or avoid..! Thank you🌷
I'm walking through the fall out from leaving one. And boy has it been a rough ride but I'm almost through it. All you can do is just atay away....keep them out of your life on every level.
Watching these videos is super helpful. I was dating someone for 3 months but ended it and walked away due to her always threatening/saying things like "do this or else I'll lose interest" "or else no sex" "no more sleepovers" and just a bunch of guilt trips and gaslighting that i remembered from your red flag videos. Saved me from wasting more time
Thank you for this video. I have recently completed a divorce (shit show) from a Narcissist. She ticked off many of the boxes you describe; tantrums, rage, no empathy or false empathy no remorse etc. I would have benefitted greatly if I had this knowledge many years ago. I can confirm to anyone in this situation, there is an immense feeling of relief when it is over and you regain your freedom. Hopefully you can survive the financial fallout. The most important thing to learn from your video, in my opinion, is that narcissism is incurable. Hope for change is futile. I stayed too long. When she knew I was done, to your point, she left first. My two cents worth, if you find you are with a narcissist, get out of “Dodge” as soon as possible.
Totally spot on analysis. These people simply cannot be fixed. They can’t fix themselves even if they want to. Run run run from them. The rubber band WILL snap back like the laws of physics!
you are so right on with that! I had to get away, i avoided her but, she did some damage but, I got away from her. I know what they are and what they can do. I thank God I finally got away, INSANE SO INSANE!!!
@@Freedom-Fighter1 Seriously though, Burton's comment is real true. A guy can fall for a narcissistic woman and we won't care. We'll think that she's smart but just be careful when you're belittled and stuff like that. Too much is a taste of what the future holds.
Omg, I've been with this woman over a yr now and we live together. She is who you are talking about. I know for sure that my decision to leave is coming much sooner rather than later
Florence Nightingale, founder of modern nursing: "Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream out at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving any in return, for they cannot state a fact accurately to another, nor can that other woman attend to it accurately enough for it to become information. Now is not all this the result of want of sympathy? I am sick with indignation at what wives and mothers will do of the most shocking selfishness. And people call it all maternal or conjugal affection, and think it pretty to say so. No, no, let each person tell the truth from their own experience. They really don’t have sympathy or the ability to empathize, because they are always judging everyone and every thing as a product on a social value scale that relates to their own egos and bounces off of themselves. There is no capability for genuine feeling. This is what I have experienced with women, there is no capability for genuine feeling for other humans, or really in general, except when those feelings are for themselves and the other people are just proxies to bounce ideas off of."
I completely cut ALL COMMUNICATION with my ex wife the last time I left her....on the advice of another woman who is married to a friend of mine.....it was good advice.
@@JohnGalt1960 WTF man!! That's like taking the milk out of fridge smelling it knowing that it is sour and then putting it back in the fridge for later!! F-That!!
Thank you for your article on this. It's been over two and a half years since I left my malignant covert narc. YES....you are 100% spot on, if you leave them they will do everything to harm you. My ex has alienated my daughter, issued false restraining orders, empowered her new boyfriend to threaten me and called my employer and told them lies which got me fired.....but....I'm alive and thriving. I left after 22years because I was miserable and I knew something was wrong. I left to be happy....well, it worked but it took me a lot...a lot of money to save my ass in court, in thera posts and medication, and lost wages....but I did it. I escaped the nonsense, I found a new job that I like and I actually opened my own engineering consulting company. I've been dating and met some wonderful and interesting people.... My 23year old son has come back to me and we have a much healthier relationship now and I'm still working to see my 14 year old daughter....parental alienation is a terrible thing but the court is finally seeing it and they are sympathetic to me finally and it's finally going my way....I'm filing my contempt order next week because my ex refuses to have my daughter attend the reunification therapy....they will never stop. However, they are predictable and that is a big advantage. They will always flow a path of destruction and they will never do the right thing....So, in a litigation situation, you get a good lawyer and a court order and wait for them to defy it and then have them charged for contempt and let the court deal with them. I'm a new man, motivated, healthy outlook, and confident again. I could have drowned myself in the bottle or took my life but I decided to right. Thank you to the medical and legal professions and shows like yours, Se Ramani and Richard Grannon for making me understand it all. God bless you, thank again Michael
wingman you're great and I appreciate you. My dismissive-avoidant narcissist girlfriend broke up with me and it was the best thing to happen for me. Sent me spiraling into self-growth and self-actualization. I have blocked her and when she reaches out. I don't play the game anymore. I want a healthy happy relationship and have full faith I will find it. Thanks for your tips.
If you are a person of Faith, then pray. Prayer works wonders for Believers. Prayer was the only thing that helped me find a good person. If you get into a bad relationship, pray to get out of it. The Lord helps Believers.
You gave an excellent primer on Narcissism. Narc's can play both sides of the coin at a whim. Covert vs Overt. Any dealing you have with these people is guaranteed to have an expiration date. It will end badly Strongly suggest anyone educate themselves further on this subject !!
This is a very valuable talk. Thank you. Having played the field, and been burned by a few of the types you describe, the risk of the damage of the next one makes the game seem more than can be handled. You suggested to Charles Chappell in another comment on this thread, "to explore why you're attracted to these kind of women ;) " and that's good counsel. In my own reflection and analysis on my own poor judgment in the past, it's that I am a target for manipulators, because I feel, I care, I listen, I fix, and I follow through on my claims and promises. These people know how to play a guy like me and their demeanor changes once the meat-hooks are set. It becomes very difficult to remove oneself. Yes, I kick myself for not seeing it coming or getting myself out sooner. I also kick myself for giving up on the whole hunt. Perhaps the reason I like your videos so much is that you definitely seem to have a healthy mind, and there seems to be a great absence of healthy minded women,. You might be the only one.
Aubergine Machine . Narcissists look specifically for empathetic, sympathetic soles because that's their demographics. Just like scammers love elderly people who are widowed or alone. Those demographics are the easiest to manipulate (usually) because they are often lonely. An empath is going to be understanding, sympathetic and the Narcissist can or, will try to manipulate your sympathy to get into your mind and once they do, they'll flip the script on you. It's just crazy 🤪
Anna, this is a balancing act for men. Most women love to be told they're beautiful, take selfies with filters and post on the facebook, do not take criticism very well and do what they want to do. These are common traits of woman. I suppose its the frequency of these narcissistic behaviors that would pose a problem. I will observe my current girlfriend and see how this maybe a problem or natural behavior. Great video and thank you!
Yes, we all have some narcissistic traits. The more of these off-putting traits one has the more likely they're either a narcissist or of the generation caught up in the social media validation frenzy. I'll be posting a video on red flags, watch for it! :)
Wow, wow, and wow....and the "losing someone in a car accident" example...wtf - I lost my dear friend unexpectedly and that's exactly what happened - it was one of the most disgustingly insensitive things I've ever experienced and ultimately the final nail in the coffin. Thank you for posting this video and affirming that I'm not crazy for feeling so abandoned throughout that process
same thing happened to me which at the time thought was very insensitive but watching this made me think she was a narcissist because if that was anyone else who had empathy they would hug you and help you through it she just sat on the bed and said nothing
Watching this because of a couple females in my life. Being a female and reading all these comments breaks my heart. I see this in too many women and they ruin good men. I am an empath and attract the male narcissist every time. It is exhausting. Good video.
Excellent breakdown of the female narcissist! I experienced all this twice, once in my marriage and once after. The emotional outbursts over very trivial things was very telling the second time around, it shocks and awes you into doing whatever it takes to avoid that kind of irrational anger in the future, that you will do what they want just to keep the peace. You can identify them based on how they react when you say no to something they want or ask for. The guilt tripping was another big one, "you don't love me" or "you don't love me enough" was another tactic she used. She played the victim from her husband leaving her for another woman, now I can see why he left because he was being abused and why his new wife wanted to screen her messages.
Thanks for watching! Now you know what to watch for, at least. Here are some other red flags to watch for: th-cam.com/play/PLQ8Q-8-X18dkSudIvtlVD37IgqIWXnaMQ.html
@@Natejay1988 dopamineproject.org you might find that interesting; It may be no different to drug driven behaviour for them. Dopamine, reward circuits drive the behaviours, physiologically. Its just for them they use the people around them to regulate their sense of self worth. Their prime drug, usually due to early formative childhood deprevation. Because of that, they apparently have a high instance of substance dependence too.
This is great information: I was involved with a covert narcissist for 10 years... 6 of the years I was married to her. We've been divorced now the same amount of time... And I'm just now starting to recover 20 years later... I was worn down and manipulated on an emotional level over the time where I question my self-worth to any woman... and by large gained a mentality that I have nothing to offer any woman ever again... I was put down, blamed, shamed, and even one time I was told I was threatening her motherhood for taking care of our children, we had twins, I was attacked for helping, blamed for not helping, I was told that I was never there emotionally there for her for pregnancy... when all along that was my priority concerning life. The twins are 10 years old now. And I keep my distance in all forms at all times with my ex. She accuses me of being the only one that's raising the children and criticizes my fatherhood... when she's having bad days... I felt like a punching bag for the last 20 years... but I'm a Christian and my faith is strong... and I really pray one day she sees what's in my heart towards her and she can understand it and and accept it. I really did try and do my best but I hadn't had the tools at the time to understand and handle this mental illness... and deal with her postpartum depression on top of it at the peak. It's clear to me that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life since we have children together... and some days are better than others... thanks for this video... and it's helping me regain confidence. I've been single since we've been divorced in 2012, not a single date... I long for the touch of a woman these days, I get the sense that the Lord's protecting me and preparing me for a really special relationship my new wife someday.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best 🙏
My X wife is a narc !! I’m so happy we are no longer together. I am really happy now . Only when we divorced is when I realized my life is better . These people are real and are dangerous to your mental health . Thank you for this info .
One of the most important thing I learnt is that if a person is splitting, putting themselves in an "all good" light and other people in an "all bad" light they are probably on the narc spectrum. Real victims don't do that. Real victims take responsibility for their own suffering. Leaving them should be done slowly and methodically. Become boring and uninteresting. If you are lucky they will then leave you.
I’m starting to realize most men want relationships and women want to make you feel bad for wanting a relationship and sex and lead you on until you realize they’re using you for free meals and a night off the sofa with their cats
Thank you for this...my ex was all of this and a bag of chips. I am so better off to be free of her and my relationships w our children is much better because I am free of this person. I appreciate all your efforts to make this known.
Not wasted. You learned so much. Mainly how to hold your ground, and boundaries. Also learned to put your goals first. Wouldn't have learned any other way. If you didn't get married, or an std you were blessed with lots of knowledge.
Iam 6'6" , 250lbs, and just left my wife after she was abusive and assaulted me for the 3rd time. NPD just described over 50% of all women I know! I only know 1 man that fits the bill, however, I know 50 women that meet the described traits.
You are wonderful. I wish I found you years ago. I experienced narcissistic abuse as a boy - my father was a narcissist. I married a female covert narcissist, I supported her emotionally, I was the stay at home Dad - 3 girls who now do not talk to me. My career was dead. I started a watch company and when that started to be successful she bombed that. I withdrew and isolated myself, she then found a new source of narcissistic supply and cheated on me. She left me. Systematically she took each of my 3 daughters one-by-one. Then she sent the lawyers. It is almost finished. I am in therapy and slowly finding myself. The girls still do not talk to me. To anyone with a narcissist… RUN and RUN fast and RUN far away. There is no other option. You will get financially and emotionally ruined but leave.
Thank you for sharing your painful experience. You cannot fix or win with a narcissist. The best thing she did for you was leave. I'm glad you're getting therapy, it will help you rebuild your esteem so you don't allow this to happen again. Big hug!
Straight facts, a lot good men don’t find out a woman is messed up until it’s too late and marriage has happened, kids etc. too late to go back. Gambling is not for me.
I'm a woman and got to know a woman who I would end up calling a friend. I got to know her and was aware that she had 4 children by 4 different men and a ex husband. I asked why didn't any of those relationships work she clearly stated she never loved them. She was furious that she could not get her ex husband back who'd been gone and remarried for 20 years. I asked why did you all divorced ?She stated she cheated and became pregnant by someone else. I found it interesting that she couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't coming back to her. I feel sorry for any man who runs across this woman. I know longer speak to her because of how she treated me and others. Totally INSANE!
This is such a brilliant analysis! Comprehensive, concise and spot on. Anna, your presentation, phrasing and delivery is extremely professional. If someone was allowed only one video to watch to explain these mental disorders then this is it!
Honestly, and I've been doing a lot of binging during Covid, you are the best advice coach I have found. You are to the point, you explain the detail behind the points, and it is all in a clear and concise manner.....which sets you apart from *all* the other coaches. And I do mean, All of them. Thank you ! Dave
I was married to one albeit lower level than sociopath or psychopath .. but she did put down 2 beloved pets without saying she was or the pets being sick .. I still grieve about that .. the divorce was living hell and everything you said that happens to men (or women for that matter) that divorce a narcissist .. happened .. financial, emotional, job was sabotaged .. everything .. it was till I was divorced I figured out she stole tons of money for years .. then I briefly dated a true blue covert malignant and THAT was when I googled for answers and found narcissism topics .. the cruelty they inflict is beyond words
This summer I was love bombed. Devalued in the fall and discarded just before the holidays. The love-bombing phase is where they pull all of your strings. This one used my family, thoughts and feelings closest to me to pull me in really close. I am not an inexperienced dater and even I wondered what the hell happened. So I started looking online which is where I found your videos. I thought I was realllllly good at detecting BS- I missed all of it. I seem to have the attributes that make me a target. I have empathy, I have compassion, I am generous and forgiving… No good deed goes unpunished but I now have a better understanding of myself because of the experience. The other thing they do is after they discard, they try to suck you back in which happened in February-on my birthday. No contact.
@@BassForever44 Me, too. I've been through the same thing as you and Mega. I wasn't really aware what was happening - or should I say that it had a name and classification - I knew what was happening. I actually saw some red flags on the first date, but they can be so charming and endearing during the love bomb phase. And then after you hit your breaking point, but because you're an empathetic, forgiving and understanding person, they'll hoover your ass - but only so they can dump you - on their terms.
For Mega & Base: I've got a video coming up with some of the red flags to watch for, but if you've been sucked in once, it's because you're likely not a narcissist, otherwise you'd instinctively know what to watch for. Try to think back to see if you recognize any red flags you should've paid attention to. (I'll point out a few in an upcoming video, be sure to subscribe if you haven't so you don't miss it.) The good news is that you did not get sucked back in.
With all due respect, perhaps you should see a dating coach or even a counselor. If you're recognizing the problem in all of the women you've dated, the root of the problem may be in your life choices or your own state of being. There is nothing wrong with seeing a professional to help you improve your life.
@Ledfists I know it feels that way...some definitely worse than others. Just remember no one's perfect and if you can deal with their bs then go for it otherwise be single like me, freedom.
I was the same, then learned about codependency. Makes you face up to yourself, behaviors you exhibit that attract them. And you're better for it, breaking the chain.
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Narcissistic personality disorder in women | Dealing with a narcissistic woman | BPD
*UPDATE:* Dr. Ramani says narcissists *can* have empathy but it’s lacking compared to “normal, emotionally healthy people” and they often withhold it, anyway. #runaway
WAKUP2LUV - *GET A (SANE) GIRLFRIEND!* members.wingmam.com/get-women/
I love your personality. Your hair has great volume and body
Chicks dig hair compliments! So, thanks!!
@@YourWingmam I've been watching your videos . I have confidence and charm I just like listening to the way you carry yourself when you speak. I added you on facebook
@@YourWingmam ha ha in the 1970s they sold a shampoo called Gee you hair smells terrific and that's what I would tell them. Oh and watch out for males who say they love your personality because you know they have alternative reasoning. They really saying God your beautiful. Your personality is nice though also.
we stunning funny burd we fat baldly scotsmin here wing-girl have you lost weight lucky girl. ps I luv that we dug what's its name pss glad you got through that. psss as a real scotsman Iwe have a great take on the English lingo its ra-man-I hope that helps hope that's not to narcissistic for you.ahahahaha.
My ex wife is a covert narcissist. Everything you say is the truth. The amount of mind fuckery with these types is unbelievable. I had no idea anyone could be so toxic... especially someone I loved and thought loved me. I will never be fully rid of her, we have a small child together. If I may offer some words of advice, 1.Always be alert around people who constantly play victim and never hold themselves accountable for their own actions. 2. Sometimes what seems to be “cute quirkiness” is actually thinly veiled mental illness. 3. It’s hard to see the red flags when your looking through rose colored glasses.
Narcissists are often so badly damaged "Love" is out of the question.
Men often are in a hormonal fog that blinds them.
Yep 💯 same as my ex wife she destroyed our little family for nothing she got dumped but walks around like she has done nothing wrong so entitled it's horrendous
Pray for her often.
Im in the same place ,and now she tries to blackmail me using the baby,i havent seen my baby in 4 month now,i call and no answer ,i msg her and told if she wont file for divorce i will,no father deserve this, to not see your owm baby growing in your own eyes ,she is 11 month now ,ohh and by the way i caught her talking with another guy talking throw voice msg on instagram ,and then she lied to my parents and to her parents that i beat her,the amount of trauma this woman gave me is unbeliveble.
@@rudeawakening3833 i walk with God by my hand ,allways did .
When you said "feel the need to record conversations." That hit me.
Surprising how far you can let things get before reality hits... hope this helps you filter better in future. Thank you for watching! :)
@@YourWingmam this is soo ture. I had this thought constantly, I even told her "I will need to record what you're saying because this is completely insane what you try to do to me" - I was thinking about gaslighting (back then I didn't even know that term existed.
If one has to record their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend then it is time to say goodbye. If one needs to spy then there is nothing worth spying on. Get out. Get on with your life elsewhere. Everything she has said sounds like my first husband.
Wow, I really thought about this too
Seriously if you have to think you need to record then there's very deep signs of narcissism and leave as soon as you can
I experienced physical abused in the past. When we broke up she tried to put me to jail with lies. Till this day I'm traumatized. So people out there, it's good to listen to these advices. It's good to see the best in others. It's good to love unconditionally. But, love yourself also. Protect yourself also. Learn from my mistake.
I'm sorry you had to go through that :( but you are right you must take care of yourself first and be careful :)
If ya feel like you are walking on eggshells. You are dealing with a narcissist
Dude I feel that way with all women- that's just the way it is.
GrasshoppingSnappoppin Thats because ALL women are narcs ( in the USA). Just the way it is. Date foreigners. Way better relationship “ for awhile anyway”.
I hate that words
my ex falsely accused me of this ,from that day I have peace and quiet
or always on thin ice then you know
@@robertmcguckin2713 Wrong all women are not... but in the west all girls are taught to revere women who are. (The learned behavior can be undone, the nature not so.)
Relationship with a narcissist will leave you with a lifelong emotional trauma. You must grow a back bone and leave or be destroyed.
Exactly, I finally left my 17 yr marriage ecause nothing is enough or measures up to a Narcissist.
Exactly leave at first red flag but the best tip is do not get in any kind of relationship cause they can't live without drama and bullshit. Oooo also tell everyone about it cause these once love hurting others just because they are fucked up so people should be warned just so they don't get hurt for no reason
Even if you leave you will probably be destroyed
Truth. Im still healing from this still. Got me into women hating. Ashame.
@@bellegreycats490 took me 28 years
Nailed it. A narcissist or psychopath' will always be that way. Even if they pretend to love, and have emotions, they are like a rubber band, stretched out, and will eventually, and always snap back into that behavior. You just described what I have been going through for 7 years. I have to find a way to end this.
I hope you find a way. You’re not alone. I’ve been in the same type of situation but I wasn’t dating this ugly idiot. I rejected her and she went crazy and just went berserk on my ass and started harassing + seeking a relationship at the same time for 3+ years but prior to those 3 years she spent 3 trying to research + study me and see how she could get into my life the way she wanted to. I rejected this freak more than 3000 times and I literally mean 3000 times, she has narcissism and psychopathy and erotomania
Hope you found it
I had a female NPD in my life for a while. Somehow, every man that she had ever been involved with was the worst person in the world. She was supposedly never in the wrong. No contact now.
No contact is the best policy.
WOW. I have one now that calls me the worst all the time. Sex is crazy insane but just doesn’t want it as often as I do. She records conversations,goes into a psychotic rage when she doesn’t get her way. Always says why does this happen to me my life is hell and always says I think my depression is bothering her. This video is on the money.
But put that as an express topic, rather than observation of behaviour and speech, and of course they can be wrong.
@@parrotshootist3004 Oh she was absolutely in the wrong. I got wise to the trail of destruction she had left.
@@ScottyGMusic Yup. The difference between the fantasy of themselves they sell themselves and everyone else, and who they are really.
This makes me feel so much better to hear this! My ex-girlfriend was a text-book narcissist! My flaw was that I bought into it hook, line and sinker...and I mean SINKER! I thought I could "fix" her, but she brought my down to her level. I'm learning from my mistakes and using it as a growth opportunity.
So much nicer with someone who is more secure.
You were wise not to have children with her (I hope). Altruism is easily exploited.
Evil always brings anyone it touches down to its own level if victims are not very wise and careful. Get away from evil as soon as you can; and in the meantime, learn how to effectively deal with it by social distancing when you can.
What you see is what you get
Fishin for the answer with a line and sinker
Look at me and don't forget
Hard to get a grip with all these broken fingers
At least you are learning. That shows maturity.
„A handful….” Nice words for the most brutal, devastating, soul and heart crushing experience, I have ever had. These are absolutely true monsters! There is nothing else to say!
Having dated a girl with , I felt, strong narcissistic traits (I'm not qualified to diagnose her as being a narcacist, and there's no way she would go to get checked) I did a shit ton of research into it, after a friend told me that (from even just briefly reading our text exchanges that) "she is a narcacist" .
She was achingly beautiful (my pov, other friends would disagree) but I found I could not be myself around her. Constantly feeling I was in a word and actions frame battle.
Key takeaways:
Having wake away, I can look back and realise,
1 they are NOT master manipulators. In hindsight, it was basic, and clumsy, and if anyone else had behaved the same way towards me I would have told them to FO. But this narc just triggered something within me.
2. It is NOT a personality disorder. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She could (and Did) turn it on and off at will when it suited hrr agenda, MEANING she had control over it, meaning it was a conscious decision, meaning it is NOT a disorder she can't control.
3 They will Never change. NEVER. Meaning stop trying to change them. You cannot fix them. STOP explaining yourself to them. You don't talk to a narc, you HANDLE THEM, like you would a snake. Meaning you will find yourself acting like a narc, to manipulate the narc. And You don't want to turn into a narc yourself. So the only solution is to walk away.
Somethings here...
First I understand that you feel something about the situation with your (former) partner... been there, done that.
But...
If you are not comfortable making a diagnosis, because you are under qualified, what was your friends qualification? What was the qualification of your research?
Your realizations:
1. You say they are not master manipulators, in hindsight(!), however you were manipulated... obviously so, because you had to see it hindsight!
2. It IS a personality disorder, in fact a Spectrum B Personality Disorder. If your research had been as nearly complete as you wish us to believe you would have know the difference between knowing what your doing and being able to choose to do something else. You would have also know, specifically, that you are accurately describing a symptom of the disorder.
3. You are correct, they will not and can not change, there is no cure, and there is no fix. They are not, however, snakes. Nor do they have the power to recruit you to their condition. Walking away IS your best option, especially if your expertise in dealing with them is limited to your friends opinions and what research you could be bothered to do on the internet.
But then again, how do we know that this isn't YOUR Spectrum B ramblings of "my victimhood"?!?!?!
You have misunderstood some of the things I was saying, and I had considered trying to explain, but really, my thought is I've said what I want to say. I'm not here to start a prolonged debate. I'm not going to try to persuade you or justify myself. That's one thing I've learnt from all that. Because it just goes round and around and around in circles.
And it got to the point of: "You can believe whatever you want to believe, but you'll get no more from me" (shortened now to "Whatever")
Now it's a case of : 'I want to live my life this way', if you want that too, that's great, if not, then we'll go our seperate ways.
@@bolt-dbtfg I got what you wanted to say. It was well articulated and a good comment. Some people just want to disagree for the sake of disagreeing. And they don't really share their own experiences with others or give anything to the conversation like you just did. Thank you for your share! It was very useful!
Make no mistake about it, it is a personality disorder of the very worst kind.
you just said it ALL
One year with my Covert Narcissist/Dismissive Avoidant:
MONTH one : Great
MONTH two : Greater
MONTH three : Fabulous (heavy love bombing starts/mirroring...)
MONTH four : Heaven (I love you...)
MONTH five : Seventh heaven...
MONTH six : Mask starts to come off (devaluing starts...)
MONTH seven : full devalue/dismissive behavior, refusal to talk about issues by ignoring, silent treatment and an aloofness as if I did not even exist, very strange behavior if you've never dealt with this before...
MONTH eight : distancing/lying begins (gaslighting also)...
MONTH nine : lying clearly shows...
MONTH ten : Frustration for me begins to set in...
MONTH eleven : Everything is my fault...
MONTH twelve : I left her for good, NO contact at all, PERIOD
MONTH thirteen : Rebuilding myself.
MONTH fourteen :
Her; closure letter mailed to me. (attempt to Hoover me.)
Me; Still NO contact, too late for her, I DID NOT RESPOND. I learned a lot of new phrases I never heard before regarding Covert Narcissism. Without a doubt, a one-sided relationship and it was horrible. I wish it upon nobody.
wow... it does seem they attend the same University! I can totally relate to this with my ex BPD/NPD. You must be more cleaver than me... i stuck around for 2,5 years clearly suspecting something is terribly wrong. Thanks for the chart!
Thanks for this wonderful outline of sociopathological relationships.
Congratulations! Glad to hear you made it out! It took me 18 years to leave and now I am trying desperately to get my self esteem back and be myself once again.
Not sure if it is doable?
Hate and distrust all women!
Make me sick!
robert McGuckin it’s doable!!! 100%
Will take sometime.... it’s like babysteps. But eventually it’ll come. I know right now it must be hard to believe considering state of mind you are in... but it will definitely come. Trust me.
Emil Kadd Thanks Emil. 👊🏻
My mother was full blown NPD. Took me into my 50’s to finally understand what she was. If only I’d known sooner. They really F with your head, especially as a child.
My ex wife was full blown NPD too. She F’d with my head too. What made it worse was her parents were full blown NPD’s too. If I knew what I knew now I would’ve kicked her to the curb along time ago
My 7 y/o daughter lives with her narcissist mother. Any suggestions?
@@rod1727 yes. Do your best to get full custody. Studies show children of NPD parents do not usually far well in life. As your attorney if you can get court ordered mental evaluation of both parents.
@@rod1727
Save your daughter, do whatever you can to remove her from the narc.
Whenever you can, give your daughter your real unconditional love and validation.
Validation of the victim’s feelings and emotions is grossly lacking in narcissistic relationships so make time, every day if possible, to let her talk about how she is feeling and about every aspect of her emotions and then give her the validation she desperately needs.
Never tell her what to feel or what not to feel, that’s what the narc does too much of already, every feeling and emotion she has is real and valid, make sure she knows that.
Teach her how to grey rock her mum, that is never give any emotion to the narc, don’t give them anything other than the minimum in conversation, this will help protect her and give her strength, as grey rock is the only tool a codependent can use and it is effective.
Never try to change the narc, they are not capable of self reflection so they can’t change, so don’t bother trying, they are not worth the effort.
I recommend Doctor Ramani, she has an excellent TH-cam channel about recovering from and dealing with narcissists
Knowledge, compassion, validation and love will help your daughter, so you have the power to help her, even if you can’t get custody.
At the age of 53 I’ve just gone no contact and started therapy to help me accelerate my growth after a lifetime of struggling with the effects of having narcissistic parents. It’s bad enough to have to have one narc parent, having 2 narc parents left me with no allies within my own family.
Stay strong and loving for her, she needs you more than you can imagine.
Good luck my good man.
Just glad you know now 😌
Honestly, every woman I’ve ever known, including my mother, meets these criteria
amen
moms today are like step moms, its not suprising the leading porn hub category is incest
Yup from all race it crazy
So true everyone has these qualities doesn't mean there a narcissist
Every man in my family has been this way. Most of the women too.
@@JesseN857 My mother was this way, and all of my sisters have shown these traits. It's not on my father's side of the family.
Personally I wish men (myself included!) could feel safe reporting and/or talking about domestic abuse without being judged as weak or un-masculine. We are taught to just shut-up & pay the bills! The research is incomplete without our input guys!! Media & society view NPD as a predominantly male issue, but I can name 25 female narcs for any 1 male in my life. Modern feminism & political correctness makes it impossible to even ask accountibility of a female, but the numbers of male/female NPD are WAY wrong!!!
The Bible call's them Jezzabelle spirits.
My gf would hit me all the time. I am 6 foot 200lbs.she was 5'5" 140lbs. No one believed me or they told me to suck it up. I left her.
"Unmanly" FYI;(
Psychological abuse women use has damaged me to the point I'm indifferent to a good portion of people. The last couple of women used flying monkeys, this only caused everyone to see their "ways".
Iam 6'6" , 250lbs, and just left my wife after she was abusive and assaulted me for the 3rd time.
NPD just described over 50% of all women I know! I only know 1 man that fits the bill, however, I know 50 women that meet the described traits.
My wife is true narcissist. I went emotionally bankrupt, financially bankrupt, and homeless for 8 months because of her. And she turns her nose up and blames me for Everything.
Now we have a 6 month old baby and I'm about to sue her for emotional abuse, and it's going to be difficult because she's basically like a relentless evil witch, she's making life as hard as a jawbreaker
As a guy with malignant narcissists for my immediate family, I'm begging you to just start the divorce process asap and don't get too attached to your physical possessions. It'll save what sanity you have left and some heartache. Best of luck. God bless you and your daughter Sir.
I hope you find a solution!
3 years Later ...
How it is going man ?
Been there .
(* A very riged battle that you may Not win. Entire system will back her lies and turn you into some sort of mental case. )
Narcissists are extremely jealous a narcissist female doesn't want you but if all of the other women want you she will be your girlfriend just so you want date anyone else 🤐
True story!
Yes they will... answer; be more selective, test for signs of unreasonable jealousy, avoid attempts to push the relationship beyond it's natural pace.
Unfortunately ...thst ALL bitches
I knew a girl in high school who was like that
So true 💯🙏👁 it be the ego driven bitches that do that
Wow.....give my life to that woman...32 yrs..love and devotion
Never was she happy....built a trucking company....built a cattle ranch....built...an aviation company...always depressed...never accepted that we build it together....of course this is life... it's no easy
But she covert....
Oldest daughter had issue....the loud narasist....helped her mother get divorced.....
My crime.....
Being a man...that loved his family....
My golden year now are homeless and broke.....it was their hope...
They under estimate....the man I am.....silly people...
With maturity...comes knowledge
I can build a new life in 10% of the time it took to learn in the beginning.......
The greatest thing I can do....is show them....the life they missed out on....
Thank you for helping me understand...
There are 1000 good men that ....are good men....
They project their weakness onto you and think you're as soft and can be broken as easily as they can
AMEN! To all good men trying to be the the provider God meant us to be. Shame on the people who use us!!
Stay strong brother.
WOWWW This was me but luckily i didnt invest ANYMORE time and money into her....Nothing i did was ever appreciated and anything i gave her never meant much.. All she cared about was going out to club parties and the fact that recently during Covid, there hasnt beeeen any real parties, she was always depressed and told me she couldnt deal with the "RESPONSIBILITIES' that come along with being in a relationship (with me) 😒😒
God bless you Brother 😇
I’ve been married to a narcissist as you have described in EVERY way for 22 years ! I have 3 kids with her an I divorced her last month. I did the right thing but I’m sad , she just got worse! This is incurable .. I didn’t know that .. TY
Hang in there. Give yourself a break. Sometimes we can't tell the difference between a poison berry and a nutritional berry. Many times they look the same at first glance. Women are gorgeous creatures and difficult to resist.
You full custody over your kids right?
Sorry to hear this bro, but you need to look out for your own happiness. Narcissist get even worse as they start to age more.
Even trying to get away from a narcissistic female friend is exhausting and challenging. But the peace you have when they finally give up is so worth it. Truly there is no other way.
Yes it is
I was once really close with a narcissistic woman, I’m so glad that came to an end! It became super draining
Yes, it can go from exhilarating to exhausting in no time. Glad you escaped!
WingmamTV It absolutely did, it went from feeling like everything was amazing to an utter collapse very rapidly. Thank you so much!
Life is a Journey I’m terribly sorry to hear that, I hope things turn around for you soon. It’s one thing for her to choose someone else over you, but an unfair smear campaign is an awful thing to experience.
Yes. Facts. It is so draining
Life is a Journey happened to me as well except the guy she got with was a push over type that respected me. That’s the last time I’ll ever share personal information with a female.
I don't even want a Narcissistic Person in my circles ever again ...it's super annoying and a huge waste of energy to deal with these people. Thanks for all the great education Videos here, very very helpful 🙏💕
I just left my on again, off again 6 year relationship with a covert/ bpd two time fiance. Men, trust me, Anna is telling it like it is! You can't love it out of her, she will destroy you! Great video...thank you so much for what you do!
Narcissists need behavioral modification therapy to see themselves as they are; and learn to understand why they are like they are; and learn how to change for the better and for good. This could take years or forever; depending on the level of their mental pathology. There is a song about this called 19th Nervous Breakdown.
I got hoovered back many times I was promised the world everything was going to change the truth is the nicest hated you for leaving in the first place so they just want you to come back so they can hurt you more it never gets better it only gets worse they only get worse the paranoia the delusion it actually gets worse in time they usually self-destruct and destroy themselves
Update
@H D ye man that shit will set you up for a world of hurt for decades untill you realise whats happening. you will be fucked up, so will any siblings, then you end up with the same kind of women as your mother and posibly even messed up kids if you dont catch yourself in time. ask me how i know :D
Bless you for this video. You need to mention that if you're an empath narcissist are attracted to you and will drain you of life and happiness. You want to use a good mind trick on a narcissist? Once you recognize a narcissist simply look at them and say, what I've done many times, "I understand you and accept you for who and what you are." Drop the mic and walk away forever. just my 2 cents.
I learned about narcissism from my ex. Her whole family, collectively, was the epitome of text book narcissism. Each member had a different trait. Her mother was the queen bee of it all. My ex claimed to be just a victim of it all, but she exhibited a few of the examples you provided. Now I'm free of it, and went no contact. Wish I had learned about this before getting knee deep in it. But, I did a huge lesson from it.
Your ex’s family and my ex’s family may have been cloned!!
So many women are walking Cluster-B grenades with the pin missing.
Lmaooooo
Lolll good one.
Or beautiful flower gardens with landmines.
Great visual...accurate too.
total... Hey, what's up B. and now I get it...Who knew hip hop was clued into this cluster B shit years a ago.. what up B....lol
Ha ha ha...
I think I was involved with a narcissist. My wife died and her ashes were on a shelf at home. When a new girlfriend saw the ashes she went into a rage, taking the ashes off the shelf and threatened to smash the box to pieces on the driveway! Evidently she saw my wife's ashes as the competition. Needless to say the relationship was over pretty soon after that happened! Love your videos!
Even if she was just really really insecure, that's an unhealthy woman and you're lucky to be out of it.
I have dealt with death a lot and know widows and widowers who have found solace in new relationships with partners who've been through the same experience. If both new partners loved their lost partners, even if their relationships weren't perfect, they can usually lean on each other in their grief and bring greater intimacy to the relationship. :)
Similarly situation that I was in she gone 👋
That is MAD behaviour!!! I can not believe how wrong that is...Very sorry to hear that you had such a disrespectful person in your life. Good man for throwing her out! I got very angry for hearing about this behaviour!
She sounds like a nut.
"Needless to say the relationship was over pretty soon after that happened! "
What took so long? To me that was clearly a Black flag and that should have ended it right then and there.
Thank you Wingmam for this “on point” educational/informative video. I was married to a narcissist for 7 years. I lost my career and my children.
Everything you are describing about narcissism is absolutely correct.
I hope you continue to get this out to everyone. Thanks again.
They will smear campaign you when your relationship ends and they will make you pay for not worshiping them. And they will always be a victim. Smearing is only them trying to control you. Smearing is how they control you to a third person.
Oh yes.
U literally explained my ex gf 🤦🏿♂️
@Jon Smith Yes... Perfect description.
This is exactly what my ex wife did
Whew...sounds scary and true!!!!
Married one for over 8 years with a young kid. She’s been holding me back in many ways for a while, yet she comes back saying I ruined her life and forced her into marriage.. I am like WHAT?? Friends/relatives of her all think I am the evil.. All these years I was able accumulated a good chunk of wealth while she stays home every day trying to get validations from social media and bitching at me. During the divorce, she wanted everything from me including our child.. Telling you boys now, stay away from them at all cause! If you don’t have children yet, walk away NOW and don’t look back!
man that is almost my exact situation - currently trying to separate with 2 kids other than that its a carbon copy.
Terrible. My wonderful brother is a victim to his disgusting wife. Very sad
divorced my ex BPD/NPD a yesr ago! I am thankful to God we did not managed to have a child! She was pushing for it from the day one.
Run guys... she wont get better... she dies not want to get better. She knowingly will destroy you. She DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
Emil Kadd Truth truth truth!
All narcissist will make EVERYTHING your fault, all their shortcomings will somehow be your fault.
I am an older twice widowed man. I only wish that I had discovered "wingman" before I jumped into dating pool. My life could have been a lot less stressful. I have watched only two of wingman video and learned so much about myself as well as the women I have encountered. Thank you wingman keep up the good work.
Dealing with a narcissistic woman RUN.
RUN as fast and as far as you can.
I could write a couple of books, she's gone and I'm watching you learning everything again after reprogramming.
They are diabolical,ruthless and just plain cruel
Truth, avoid them if you can!
@@YourWingmam well I take half the blame, after all I did choose her
That don't mean after sticking your finger to a hot stove eye to do it again either.
Scars remind me not to repeat what caused them. Of course some people just don't get the memo
@Steve Miller running seems like the best thing to do. Once burned you know it's hot and draw your hand back from the stove eye. With her, she's the hot stove eye. Be very careful with welding gloves on kinda hot.
Better yet run, run , keep running then run some more
Co workers also can be evil, toxic, narcissists for competition and fun harming others. You cannot avoid them; and therefore, must learn to deal with them without becoming evil also.
I have been married for almost 20 years now to a narcissistic woman. Communal narcissist - that’s her. Now she is divorcing me after having had an affair with the guy who was working on our house. She’s totally trying to screw me over, thank God I found a good lawyer. The hard part is that we have a teenage son together, I sacrificed my work, my career, my friendships, just about everything for her. I wish I had never met her. I am praying that God will give me the strength to see to it that she gets what she deserves in court. I’m already having to move out of the house even though it’s she who cheated and I am the stay-home parent. Thank you for this video.
Hope you are better now
When the woman plays the "poor me I have some depression issues"-card as you start setting reasonable boundaries.
Great video!😉
Or just leave as soon as you can. People have got to take responsibility for themselves. Depressives can be very abusive and manipulative. Avoid.
@@ganymeade5151 that was where it ended up. But trauma bond, repetition compulsion and codependency are so powerful to keep you locked down into the relationship. But as I said, you are so right that the only solution is to leave and start to look why you find it so attractive. When you start to find yourself in it all you can find the strength to let go.
You know something, at a time I was struggling real bad, I turned to my friend group, I hate asking for help, but I got the courage and the narcissist was like "people with real mental problems" very rude. I felt then I couldn't turn to anyone after that, and that put me in a bad spot, I though people hated me on top of the problem I was having.
Instagram and Tinder have really brought out the Narcissistic tendencies in today's Women.
alex W and men 😊
Amen smash and dash brother that it
@@ruthycantfail we are dealing with women here specifically
@@boomer1954ful Not everyone believes in your religion, is that ok with you?
@@freddiestranger9783 No, social media favors women and women engage it more than men.
My ex was both! Today marks exactly one year since I broke up with her. It's been a battle, but I am seeing the light, and life is changing for the better. Videos like these, definitely help. Keep them coming!
This is the best video on female narcissists I've seen! 👍 This is one smart woman!
Regardless of the gender, if they're a narcissist, don't give them the time of day.
TRUTH!
I was married to a covert narcissist and your video helped me identify this. I understand the point that you made about there being fewer real narcissist women than men, however these days there are an alarming number of female covert narcissists. Additionally, it has been stated that female covert narcissists are very difficult to identify.
This actually gave me a headache. It's too much to think about. I'm googling MONASTERIES as I write.
Lol ... give it a day to sink in and then re-watch it before buying an orange robe on Amazon! ;)
@@YourWingmam Its the most depressing thing you ever put on your site. It ruins faith in womankind, taints my Mother's home cooking and causes my favorite sports teams to lose.
Shame on you! I still have a headache.
This sounds bad but you need to do a talk on borderline personality disorder in women. That one bakes the cake😳.
@@slickonesie Toxic is toxic mukka. Just run. Also read the title again, she includes BPD in this. Had an ex diagnosed as BPD, yet narcissism (as described here) fits the bill.
ROFLMAO
Number 3 cannot be overestimated: set boundaries and impose consequences without fail. Number four is why it is so important to recognize toxic people before getting involved - they can will torture you when you are with them and will go for blood when you try to leave.
They are demons. Get away as soon as possible before they pull you down.
Describes my ex perfectly. A control freak who would fly into a rage any time that she didn't get her way, or thought that she was being criticized no matter how diplomatic I or someone else was. My son said after Basic Training that the drill sergeants didn't yell as much as she does!
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
I’m still trying to figure out the difference between narcissists and American women in general.
I think they're one and the same.
well, narcissists are female.
@@morthim unfortunately most of the single females I meet are. That's why they are single. All the "good ones" are married to "good viable men" or elderly, or severely disabled. That leaves the "bottom of the barrel" women to choose from, and unfortunately most are narcissists. I'm better off alone.
Is it really that bad in the US?
@@hannap8052 it's worse. The land of opportunity is like a double edge sword for narcissists. They are the worst opportunists of all. They, like every other creature come in male and female. I've met my share of them, to the point of now forsaking a hope of a wife, and remaining single.
I am married to a woman who seems to have many of these characteristics 😔. Adding to that, she has a nearly photographic memory, but seems to twist the truth as what is described in gaslighting 😕
Hold up this sounds familiar
Totlly same boat. 5 year off and on again now married with a child. I finally woke up and am ending this. I’ve seen a handful of other videos on narcissistic personality disorder, but this is absolutely the most succinct and sad to say extremely fucking scary because it is the absolute truth. Not talking about any kind of denomination, but I’m genuinely praying for you and I hope you find happiness… Trust me you need to GTFO
GTFO - the recovery time is a proportion of the exposure-time - the sooner the better....
@@sifacomp
Filed for divorce in February
I’m 57 years old and married with 2 grown daughters. I love her but can’t take it no more.
You are describing my wife 100%
My narcissistic ex once once told me that I was scrambling eggs wrong. I'm so glad to be out of that situation.
Good for you! Mine told me I was looking in the small freezer compartment of the fridge "wrong"!
Mine told me I was wasting too much aluminum foil when I used like 8 inches to cover a plate!
Cooking them for her yeh?
Mine turned on the emergency flashers in an empty parking lot because she didn't like the way I parked
I could not touch anything in MY house? She turned my office into a guest bedroom while I was out of the country on biz. Also, had to turn off my cell phone after 9 so it didnt disturb the kids?!
I never really knew exactly what a narcissist was, so I came here to learn lol but this describes a girl I dated a few years ago. It describes her to a T. It’s almost scary how accurate this is to her lol
So glad you finally did this one Anna. There's LOTS to it. Here's a couple of add-on subjects:
- COVERTS keep the Drama between you & them private - ie: covert. It's a reputation thing!
- She's My Soulmate (NOT!- but females ["coverts"] won't show they're ugly til you're in deep)
- A Predominant Focus On 5 "Fs"- Food, Family, Fighting, F%cking & Fleeing the relationship.
- Hoovering: = sucking you back in with sweet [and forever-shallow] promises and apologies.
- Trauma Bonding Abuse cycles (Stockholm syndrome), and resulting CPTSD.
I am suffering from Stockholm syndrome. I can't move on even though I know she is the worst, I am suffering from panic attack but she gave zero fuck about it. Left me in my worst situation!
Very accurate Peter. I experienced much of the same, even the C-PTSD, even suicidal moments. Not fun, and VERY dangerous. People who have not experienced it do not understand how serious it is.
It’s amazing how spot on this video is. My ex checked every single box on the list. I swear she was literally only alive to seek validation from anyone who would give it. She needed it constantly. They live absolutely pathetic and worthless lives
I appreciate how this channel extensively and consistently covers relationships, from the more normal conditions to special cases such as personality disorders. Special cases are rarer, but must also be known. Anna really seems to know about relationships!
I never believe the "official stats" because they're generally not only wrong, but deliberately wrong. Look at the stats for female drivers vs male drivers in terms of "safe driving". Females tend to cause more accidents but get off the hook for shit because patriarchy is necessarily gyno-centric; we tend to look out for and protect females from reality.
In my 40 years I've met maybe 3 male narcissists and more than 30 females narcissists. Genuine narcissists.
I believe that social media and the current Post Modernist education/entertainment/media scheme is not only creating more female narcissists but also exposing tons who have flown under the radar for years before social media became such a huge deal to the average person
I have way too much experience in this, only thing you must remember is a narcissist can't change, ever !
Most important thing to remember!
@@YourWingmam
Absolutely, I spent years of my life being gas lighted and abused, once I finally understood it was a lost cause and that to save myself I had to have absolutely no contact I've been free and i know the signs and I see them almost immediately, the level of insecurity that feeds the narcissist personality is unbelievable, I now find it to be the most unattractive trait in human beings and I can see why it makes women run away as well! Ok my rants over lol
Sociopaths can never change. Narcissism is a form of sociopathy.
Derek Stewart o
They can modify, if THEY choose to... the problem is that they can always modify back, and in almost every case they absolutely will. The other problem is tat the closer you are to them the harder it is to predict when it is time to evacuate, if you have time for warning signs at all!
So true. Good video. It is complete match with my ex narc. When I figured out what I was dealing with I have spent some time getting the strength to Get our, but I continued to learn obout Narcisisam because something kept me interested in topic, later I have realised that that knowledge kept me stayed out.
Keep up with good work. Your videos are very important. GOSO. GET OUT STAY OUT.
Glad I could help 🙏
Thank you for making these videos and for standing up for dudes. Guys really do get mistreated by women often and it's nice to have someone from the other side recognize that. It's comforting. So thank you. We have feelings as well.
A dating coach delivers a long but concise understandable presentation on narcissistic personalities.
A savvy viewer provides an eloquently complimentary (and appreciated) comment! ;)
WingmamTV Thank you. Lack of empathy, what a terrible thing to have, this video has truly opened my eyes. Is there one you have done on BPD?
I'm a woman watching your videos and learn a lot about narcissists behaviour! My mother was one, so I have learned very early in life to avoid her attention and today I'm able to see and feel quickly what kind of person I'm dealing with to handle them or avoid..!
Thank you🌷
I'm walking through the fall out from leaving one. And boy has it been a rough ride but I'm almost through it. All you can do is just atay away....keep them out of your life on every level.
You have successfully described EVERY woman I’ve cared about in my life. My take-away…I’m a MUCH happier being single. Lonely…but happy!
Watching these videos is super helpful. I was dating someone for 3 months but ended it and walked away due to her always threatening/saying things like "do this or else I'll lose interest" "or else no sex" "no more sleepovers" and just a bunch of guilt trips and gaslighting that i remembered from your red flag videos. Saved me from wasting more time
🙌👏
Thank you for this video. I have recently completed a divorce (shit show) from a Narcissist. She ticked off many of the boxes you describe; tantrums, rage, no empathy or false empathy no remorse etc. I would have benefitted greatly if I had this knowledge many years ago. I can confirm to anyone in this situation, there is an immense feeling of relief when it is over and you regain your freedom. Hopefully you can survive the financial fallout. The most important thing to learn from your video, in my opinion, is that narcissism is incurable. Hope for change is futile. I stayed too long. When she knew I was done, to your point, she left first. My two cents worth, if you find you are with a narcissist, get out of “Dodge” as soon as possible.
Wow... This describes a close relationship to a Tee. 🥺
A narcissist will even accuse you of being a narcissist too.
You're absolutely right!
Totally spot on analysis. These people simply cannot be fixed. They can’t fix themselves even if they want to. Run run run from them. The rubber band WILL snap back like the laws of physics!
you are so right on with that! I had to get away, i avoided her but, she did some damage but, I got away from her. I know what they are and what they can do. I thank God I finally got away, INSANE SO INSANE!!!
If you stick around too long the psychological damage accumulates and it gets harder and harder to leave.
And your man part gets softer and softer!
@@metalmike570 LOL! Your metal Mike turns into liquid metal Mike!
@@Freedom-Fighter1 Oh like in the Terminator; I'd say more but just keeping it PG-13 I guess. I hope there are never liquid metal boners though!
@@metalmike570 ouch! I agree. Lol
@@Freedom-Fighter1 Seriously though, Burton's comment is real true. A guy can fall for a narcissistic woman and we won't care. We'll think that she's smart but just be careful when you're belittled and stuff like that. Too much is a taste of what the future holds.
Omg, I've been with this woman over a yr now and we live together. She is who you are talking about. I know for sure that my decision to leave is coming much sooner rather than later
Florence Nightingale, founder of modern nursing:
"Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream out at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving any in return, for they cannot state a fact accurately to another, nor can that other woman attend to it accurately enough for it to become information. Now is not all this the result of want of sympathy?
I am sick with indignation at what wives and mothers will do of the most shocking selfishness. And people call it all maternal or conjugal affection, and think it pretty to say so. No, no, let each person tell the truth from their own experience.
They really don’t have sympathy or the ability to empathize, because they are always judging everyone and every thing as a product on a social value scale that relates to their own egos and bounces off of themselves. There is no capability for genuine feeling.
This is what I have experienced with women, there is no capability for genuine feeling for other humans, or really in general, except when those feelings are for themselves and the other people are just proxies to bounce ideas off of."
Did FN really write this? Is there a reference for this?
@@mrcaji4401 Florence Nightingale on Women, Medicine, Midwifery and Prostitution: Collected Works of Florence Nightingale, Volume 8.
Thanks.
@@THX5000 Interesting she says so because she's right. A lot of the females in my family are fucked up anyways.
Never text a narcissist after they ghost you. They will thrive on every text. Walk away.. RUN!
I did this after I WAS the first one to ghost them...big mistake and I knew it
I completely cut ALL COMMUNICATION with my ex wife the last time I left her....on the advice of another woman who is married to a friend of mine.....it was good advice.
@@JohnGalt1960 The last time? Implies you gave her one too many chances after it was over the first time.
@@craig1082 that's an understatement.....I married her and divorced her.... Twice.
That was when I swore off women for the rest of my life.
@@JohnGalt1960 WTF man!! That's like taking the milk out of fridge smelling it knowing that it is sour and then putting it back in the fridge for later!! F-That!!
Thank you for your article on this. It's been over two and a half years since I left my malignant covert narc. YES....you are 100% spot on, if you leave them they will do everything to harm you.
My ex has alienated my daughter, issued false restraining orders, empowered her new boyfriend to threaten me and called my employer and told them lies which got me fired.....but....I'm alive and thriving.
I left after 22years because I was miserable and I knew something was wrong. I left to be happy....well, it worked but it took me a lot...a lot of money to save my ass in court, in thera posts and medication, and lost wages....but I did it.
I escaped the nonsense, I found a new job that I like and I actually opened my own engineering consulting company. I've been dating and met some wonderful and interesting people....
My 23year old son has come back to me and we have a much healthier relationship now and I'm still working to see my 14 year old daughter....parental alienation is a terrible thing but the court is finally seeing it and they are sympathetic to me finally and it's finally going my way....I'm filing my contempt order next week because my ex refuses to have my daughter attend the reunification therapy....they will never stop.
However, they are predictable and that is a big advantage. They will always flow a path of destruction and they will never do the right thing....So, in a litigation situation, you get a good lawyer and a court order and wait for them to defy it and then have them charged for contempt and let the court deal with them.
I'm a new man, motivated, healthy outlook, and confident again. I could have drowned myself in the bottle or took my life but I decided to right.
Thank you to the medical and legal professions and shows like yours, Se Ramani and Richard Grannon for making me understand it all.
God bless you, thank again
Michael
Good 👍 FOR YOU
wingman you're great and I appreciate you. My dismissive-avoidant narcissist girlfriend broke up with me and it was the best thing to happen for me. Sent me spiraling into self-growth and self-actualization. I have blocked her and when she reaches out. I don't play the game anymore. I want a healthy happy relationship and have full faith I will find it. Thanks for your tips.
Glad you were able to find some silver lining in the experience. Self- growth and actualization are gifts not everyone claims in a lifetime. :)
If you are a person of Faith, then pray. Prayer works wonders for Believers. Prayer was the only thing that helped me find a good person. If you get into a bad relationship, pray to get out of it. The Lord helps Believers.
You gave an excellent primer on Narcissism. Narc's can play both sides of the coin at a whim. Covert vs Overt. Any dealing you have with these people is guaranteed to have an expiration date. It will end badly Strongly suggest anyone educate themselves further on this subject !!
You're right. And no, narcissists do not play fair or end fair.
I left a narcissist this year after almost 4 years of being abused. I lost everything but worth it
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
This is a very valuable talk. Thank you. Having played the field, and been burned by a few of the types you describe, the risk of the damage of the next one makes the game seem more than can be handled. You suggested to Charles Chappell in another comment on this thread, "to explore why you're attracted to these kind of women ;)
" and that's good counsel. In my own reflection and analysis on my own poor judgment in the past, it's that I am a target for manipulators, because I feel, I care, I listen, I fix, and I follow through on my claims and promises. These people know how to play a guy like me and their demeanor changes once the meat-hooks are set. It becomes very difficult to remove oneself. Yes, I kick myself for not seeing it coming or getting myself out sooner. I also kick myself for giving up on the whole hunt. Perhaps the reason I like your videos so much is that you definitely seem to have a healthy mind, and there seems to be a great absence of healthy minded women,. You might be the only one.
Aubergine Machine . Narcissists look specifically for empathetic, sympathetic soles because that's their demographics.
Just like scammers love elderly people who are widowed or alone. Those demographics are the easiest to manipulate (usually) because they are often lonely.
An empath is going to be understanding, sympathetic and the Narcissist can or, will try to manipulate your sympathy to get into your mind and once they do, they'll flip the script on you. It's just crazy 🤪
Here's a joke for ya:
Q: Why did the narcissist crossed the road?
A: Because she thought that it was a boundary! 😂😂😂😂😂
Boundary Road
First girlfriend, all points. I learned a lot from that.
Anna, this is a balancing act for men. Most women love to be told they're beautiful, take selfies with filters and post on the facebook, do not take criticism very well and do what they want to do. These are common traits of woman. I suppose its the frequency of these narcissistic behaviors that would pose a problem. I will observe my current girlfriend and see how this maybe a problem or natural behavior. Great video and thank you!
Yes, we all have some narcissistic traits. The more of these off-putting traits one has the more likely they're either a narcissist or of the generation caught up in the social media validation frenzy. I'll be posting a video on red flags, watch for it! :)
Roscoe Crawford ewww not me. I hate that shit lol
Wow, wow, and wow....and the "losing someone in a car accident" example...wtf - I lost my dear friend unexpectedly and that's exactly what happened - it was one of the most disgustingly insensitive things I've ever experienced and ultimately the final nail in the coffin. Thank you for posting this video and affirming that I'm not crazy for feeling so abandoned throughout that process
I'm happy this has been helpful to you and I pray that you heal all you have been through 🙏
same thing happened to me which at the time thought was very insensitive but watching this made me think she was a narcissist because if that was anyone else who had empathy they would hug you and help you through it she just sat on the bed and said nothing
Watching this because of a couple females in my life. Being a female and reading all these comments breaks my heart. I see this in too many women and they ruin good men. I am an empath and attract the male narcissist every time. It is exhausting. Good video.
🙏 I hope you reach the point of truly doing what is best.
Excellent breakdown of the female narcissist! I experienced all this twice, once in my marriage and once after. The emotional outbursts over very trivial things was very telling the second time around, it shocks and awes you into doing whatever it takes to avoid that kind of irrational anger in the future, that you will do what they want just to keep the peace. You can identify them based on how they react when you say no to something they want or ask for. The guilt tripping was another big one, "you don't love me" or "you don't love me enough" was another tactic she used. She played the victim from her husband leaving her for another woman, now I can see why he left because he was being abused and why his new wife wanted to screen her messages.
Thanks for watching! Now you know what to watch for, at least. Here are some other red flags to watch for: th-cam.com/play/PLQ8Q-8-X18dkSudIvtlVD37IgqIWXnaMQ.html
You just described every feminist I have ever known 😂
Hence the thumbnail ;)
Oh gotcha
The girls on twitch tend to be narcissistic too
Steve Miller (besides the drug part) you just described my ex gf 😂
@@Natejay1988 dopamineproject.org you might find that interesting; It may be no different to drug driven behaviour for them. Dopamine, reward circuits drive the behaviours, physiologically. Its just for them they use the people around them to regulate their sense of self worth. Their prime drug, usually due to early formative childhood deprevation. Because of that, they apparently have a high instance of substance dependence too.
After 4 minutes I checked. And she was only getting started. ..I ran.
This is great information: I was involved with a covert narcissist for 10 years... 6 of the years I was married to her. We've been divorced now the same amount of time...
And I'm just now starting to recover 20 years later... I was worn down and manipulated on an emotional level over the time where I question my self-worth to any woman... and by large gained a mentality that I have nothing to offer any woman ever again... I was put down, blamed, shamed, and even one time I was told I was threatening her motherhood for taking care of our children, we had twins, I was attacked for helping, blamed for not helping,
I was told that I was never there emotionally there for her for pregnancy... when all along that was my priority concerning life.
The twins are 10 years old now. And I keep my distance in all forms at all times with my ex. She accuses me of being the only one that's raising the children and criticizes my fatherhood... when she's having bad days... I felt like a punching bag for the last 20 years... but I'm a Christian and my faith is strong... and I really pray one day she sees what's in my heart towards her and she can understand it and and accept it. I really did try and do my best but I hadn't had the tools at the time to understand and handle this mental illness... and deal with her postpartum depression on top of it at the peak.
It's clear to me that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life since we have children together... and some days are better than others... thanks for this video... and it's helping me regain confidence.
I've been single since we've been divorced in 2012, not a single date... I long for the touch of a woman these days, I get the sense that the Lord's protecting me and preparing me for a really special relationship my new wife someday.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and I hope she reaches the point of truly doing what is best 🙏
Dont waste ur time praying for her. She has a demon inside her
She blamed her Post partum on me !
My X wife is a narc !! I’m so happy we are no longer together. I am really happy now . Only when we divorced is when I realized my life is better . These people are real and are dangerous to your mental health . Thank you for this info .
One of the most important thing I learnt is that if a person is splitting, putting themselves in an "all good" light and other people in an "all bad" light they are probably on the narc spectrum. Real victims don't do that. Real victims take responsibility for their own suffering.
Leaving them should be done slowly and methodically. Become boring and uninteresting. If you are lucky they will then leave you.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Online dating sites are spawning narcissists in the millions. The way things are going having a narcissistic personality will be the norm.
Yup
I’m starting to realize most men want relationships and women want to make you feel bad for wanting a relationship and sex and lead you on until you realize they’re using you for free meals and a night off the sofa with their cats
Whoa, this was pretty mindblowing, I was definitely messing with a narcissist for way longer than I needed to haha
Thank you for this...my ex was all of this and a bag of chips. I am so better off to be free of her and my relationships w our children is much better because I am free of this person. I appreciate all your efforts to make this known.
Wish you had done this video 2 year’s ago, explains everything, 2 years wasted
Not wasted. You learned so much. Mainly how to hold your ground, and boundaries. Also learned to put your goals first. Wouldn't have learned any other way. If you didn't get married, or an std you were blessed with lots of knowledge.
I wish it was 4 years ago.
Iam 6'6" , 250lbs, and just left my wife after she was abusive and assaulted me for the 3rd time.
NPD just described over 50% of all women I know! I only know 1 man that fits the bill, however, I know 50 women that meet the described traits.
You are wonderful. I wish I found you years ago. I experienced narcissistic abuse as a boy - my father was a narcissist. I married a female covert narcissist, I supported her emotionally, I was the stay at home Dad - 3 girls who now do not talk to me. My career was dead. I started a watch company and when that started to be successful she bombed that. I withdrew and isolated myself, she then found a new source of narcissistic supply and cheated on me. She left me. Systematically she took each of my 3 daughters one-by-one. Then she sent the lawyers. It is almost finished. I am in therapy and slowly finding myself. The girls still do not talk to me. To anyone with a narcissist… RUN and RUN fast and RUN far away. There is no other option. You will get financially and emotionally ruined but leave.
Thank you for sharing your painful experience. You cannot fix or win with a narcissist. The best thing she did for you was leave. I'm glad you're getting therapy, it will help you rebuild your esteem so you don't allow this to happen again. Big hug!
Sounds like typical politicians and celebrities.
Being alone is the answer. Stay away from women, period.
MGTOW brother!! Amen!!
True my brother
Straight facts, a lot good men don’t find out a woman is messed up until it’s too late and marriage has happened, kids etc. too late to go back. Gambling is not for me.
I'm a woman and got to know a woman who I would end up calling a friend. I got to know her and was aware that she had 4 children by 4 different men and a ex husband. I asked why didn't any of those relationships work she clearly stated she never loved them. She was furious that she could not get her ex husband back who'd been gone and remarried for 20 years. I asked why did you all divorced ?She stated she cheated and became pregnant by someone else. I found it interesting that she couldn't accept the fact that he wasn't coming back to her. I feel sorry for any man who runs across this woman. I know longer speak to her because of how she treated me and others. Totally INSANE!
@@kynathomas4809 Common
This is such a brilliant analysis! Comprehensive, concise and spot on. Anna, your presentation, phrasing and delivery is extremely professional. If someone was allowed only one video to watch to explain these mental disorders then this is it!
Glad I could help 🙏
Honestly, and I've been doing a lot of binging during Covid, you are the best advice coach I have found. You are to the point, you explain the detail behind the points, and it is all in a clear and concise manner.....which sets you apart from *all* the other coaches. And I do mean, All of them. Thank you ! Dave
She is on point..
Sounds like you’re talking about the modern empowered female
Narcissism is a useful tool to get what you want for yourself. All it requires is that you see other people as objects, obstacles, or fuel.
@@natureandphysics403 that’s insanely wicked.
I was married to one albeit lower level than sociopath or psychopath .. but she did put down 2 beloved pets without saying she was or the pets being sick .. I still grieve about that .. the divorce was living hell and everything you said that happens to men (or women for that matter) that divorce a narcissist .. happened .. financial, emotional, job was sabotaged .. everything .. it was till I was divorced I figured out she stole tons of money for years .. then I briefly dated a true blue covert malignant and THAT was when I googled for answers and found narcissism topics .. the cruelty they inflict is beyond words
Narcissists are made and our culture promotes and rewards it. It comes from very early neglect /abuse.
Truth. I am not seeking any relationships at all. I grew up under a Narcisist mother.
This summer I was love bombed. Devalued in the fall and discarded just before the holidays. The love-bombing phase is where they pull all of your strings. This one used my family, thoughts and feelings closest to me to pull me in really close. I am not an inexperienced dater and even I wondered what the hell happened. So I started looking online which is where I found your videos. I thought I was realllllly good at detecting BS- I missed all of it. I seem to have the attributes that make me a target. I have empathy, I have compassion, I am generous and forgiving… No good deed goes unpunished but I now have a better understanding of myself because of the experience. The other thing they do is after they discard, they try to suck you back in which happened in February-on my birthday. No contact.
Wow dude. The EXACT same happened to me. Lucky me I reacted the same when she wanted to "reconnect". Thanks but no thanks
@@BassForever44 Me, too. I've been through the same thing as you and Mega. I wasn't really aware what was happening - or should I say that it had a name and classification - I knew what was happening. I actually saw some red flags on the first date, but they can be so charming and endearing during the love bomb phase. And then after you hit your breaking point, but because you're an empathetic, forgiving and understanding person, they'll hoover your ass - but only so they can dump you - on their terms.
For Mega & Base: I've got a video coming up with some of the red flags to watch for, but if you've been sucked in once, it's because you're likely not a narcissist, otherwise you'd instinctively know what to watch for. Try to think back to see if you recognize any red flags you should've paid attention to. (I'll point out a few in an upcoming video, be sure to subscribe if you haven't so you don't miss it.) The good news is that you did not get sucked back in.
Watching this as a woman. Very insightful. Thank you very much...
Sounds like every woman I’ve ever dated, to be honest.
Same here and I hate the fact that I can say that. The more love you show them the worse they behave.
With all due respect, perhaps you should see a dating coach or even a counselor. If you're recognizing the problem in all of the women you've dated, the root of the problem may be in your life choices or your own state of being. There is nothing wrong with seeing a professional to help you improve your life.
@Ledfists I know it feels that way...some definitely worse than others. Just remember no one's perfect and if you can deal with their bs then go for it otherwise be single like me, freedom.
I was the same, then learned about codependency. Makes you face up to yourself, behaviors you exhibit that attract them. And you're better for it, breaking the chain.