WHAT IS OCD? | DSM-5 CRITERIA | AUTISM & OCD
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You’ve done something truly amazing by talking about this stuff, Paige, especially the more stigmatized and scary intrusive thoughts. POCD is so sad to me, because so many people - even people with an OCD diagnosis - never get insight about it and spend their whole lives truly thinking they’re monsters because of an OCD symptom. It’s especially awful because in actuality, people with POCD are significantly LESS likely to offend than a random person in the general population, because the very fact that it’s one of your OCD thoughts means you’re horrified by it and don’t want to be thinking about it. Thoughts that don’t bother you don’t get stuck in the OCD brain loop - just like you don’t want to get cancer or another horrible disease, or to hurt yourself or a loved one, you don’t want these thoughts to come true.
I’ve always had horrible OCD - even when I was five or six, I was truly convinced I was going to be murdered in my sleep if I didn’t follow particular rituals - and have had POCD intrusive thoughts since I was *literally still a young child*. I still remember the first moment of insight into it I had (from an OCD quiz when I was fifteen), it was that much of a life-changing moment for me - you’ve given so many people that moment by being open in this video.
Thank you for your absolute bravery in talking about POCD! I was abused as a child but it wasn’t until I had my own children that the rabid and oh so tempting thoughts came up. I felt so terrible, dirty and evil! There was no way I EVER wanted my own children to go through that & I was horrified that those thoughts ever came into my head. Over time I decided that I was not going to stop being affectionate to my children - just because I thought things didn’t mean that they had to be acted upon. I got an understanding of how people could do these terrible things - they decided not to fight the good fight!
I just wanted to thank you for talking about the p ocd. I cried along with you, I'm also autistic and have OCD, also a traumatic childhood as a lot of us do. The vividness of those unwanted horrific thoughts made me attempt to end it when I was a teenager because of how incredibly isolating and real it felt. Before I knew what intrusive thoughts were I thought those thoughts were coming from me and it still hurts to think about. Thank you so much for raising awareness, I hope it reaches others who need to hear that they are not alone ❤️
I read your comment and I started crying. I am so sorry that you've felt isolated in your life and tried doing that, but I am so glad that you are here to comment on this video and that you are able to live your life, even if there are difficult times. You are strong and a very brave person, and I believe you can have the courage to go through anything. I wish you the best of luck, and I want you to know that you are never alone, no matter what is happening or who you have with you. Not sure if you are a believer, but God is always with you at the end of the day, despite anything.
@IvanXredpill I would add some caution to that. I have OCD, and possibly autism, and when I got an edible from a dispensary it made me absolutely freak the fuck out. My need to control myself, my environment, and my general situation went bonkers. I felt like reality was ripped out from under me. I do not recommend trying it willy-nilly in an uncontrolled environment.
I had the exact same reaction. I also had a very traumatic childhood and I've literally only told one person about it so it wasn't until recently that I realized it was intrusive thoughts rather than me. Hearing her even briefly touch on it made me feel less isolated and horrible about it
@@c.c.l.9139 Yeah I agree. I have a lot of friends who don't react well to it for those same reasons. I react quite well to it because it helps reduce my anxiety along with a bunch of other things, but I know that's definitely not everyone's experience
❤️
Hey Paige, your really brave about talking about your OCD. I also deal with POCD and a variety of other OCD subtypes. Sexual Intrusive Thoughts is the most damaging subtype I personally deal with. Given what you’ve said in your video, I recommend watching a TH-camr called Chrissie Hodges. She is an OCD Advocate and in her videos she talks a lot about OCD, including the POCD subtype. She helps me a lot and I think you’ll find her videos helpful. 🧡
the way your voice broke talking about pocd is heartbreaking and it is so brave of you to mention it in any capacity. I am autistic and also have OCD so it makes me feel so much less alone that you've uploaded this!! I had a really bad bout of pocd when I got a job working with kids and the absolute hell it put me through is unbelievable. it's scary to admit to having, especially when people have such a limited understanding of how OCD works. ocd fucking sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it's nice to see others' stories.
Intrusive thoughts are fucking awful, agreed. You are not your intrusive thoughts, they do not make you a bad person. Just in case any of y'all needed to hear that.
Yes! They DO NOT represent you as a person, because they are not your fault and you can't help them. Just with Paige's struggles with POCD, get help if needed to not act on it.
@@elisabethopp1 I reeeeally think we need to push back on the implication that POCD would lead you to act on those unwanted, uncharacteristic, un-you thoughts. Having POCD really just means that you hate those kinds of people so so much and you’re terrified of being anything like that. It’s a way of your brain creating rationalizations for low self-esteem. People with POCD simply do not actually have P tendencies. That needs to be very clear. They could not be farther from that.
@@melovekittie You’re 100% right. I apologize.
thank you so much! this comment made me cry
most helpful thing anyone ever said to me regarding violent or disturbing intrusive thoughts was that it's basically your brain saying "hey wouldn't it be f-ed up if that happened?" it's a hypothetical scenario that your brain is using to process something, and the fact that you find those thoughts upsetting PROVES that they do not align with who you are
“You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts." Michael A. Singer (this keeps me grounded when I'm experiencing unwanted thoughts)
😭😭😍
OCD is the one mental illness that makes me feel absolutely insane sometimes. This was so comforting to watch and I can’t thank you enough for making this video!
Absolutely love your channel!! I’m diagnosed with an OCD and Anxiety disorder and it’s definitely not what the public says it is!😂 thank you so much for explaining everything so well and shedding light on how these things impact your life!💕
OCD sucks!! However, I do disagree that nothing cool comes with OCD- I think because it’s so linked to autism and other forms of neurodivergence, the ‘cool’ traits kind of go unnoticed. I would say that OCD makes me a much more observant person, and sometimes the obsessiveness that is so unhelpful with intrusive thoughts can be applied as commitment and intense passion for things I enjoy. Like you, I likely have other forms of neurodivergence that I just have never sought a ‘diagnosis’ for- so maybe the traits are more linked to that but idk :):)
I admire you for looking for the up side of this condition. However, I struggle with the same things as Paige does and for me, I would gladly trade my observant trait to have none of these issues.
I totally agree. My OCD is a huge nuisance but it absolutely manifests in hyper fixations, pattern recognition, and detail oriented observations, all of which can be kind of cool. I think those are all ASD things too though so maybe Paige just attributes them to her ASD?
@@brittanybryant5878 haha yeah don’t get me wrong I’d trade the traits in in an instant to get rid of ocd. I guess it’s just kind of annoying to be the one type of neurodivergent that doesn’t really have much of an upside
B. A. Shaski I have OCD too! the only good side to mine is i have an insane amount of information about random topics i get anxiety about and one of my biggest compulsions is researching, so for example i spent nearly 5 months 24/7 researching about the afterlife. like that’s all i could focus on so i now have so much knowledge on literally so many religions across the world and different perspectives and ideas about the afterlife.
@@Bobonion I do stuff like that too! If you want to know random facts about ballroom dancing, star wars, the cholera epidemic in 1820s europe... I got you.
Hi Paige, I don't usually comment on TH-cam and this will probably get buried, but I just wanted to thank you for your videos. I have never had a diagnosis of ASD (though I was diagnosed with OCD at 17) but so much of what you say in your videos resonates with me. I often feel lonely since it feels like I'm unable to communicate with others or that others speak a different language than mine, and it feels amazing to just hear you because it just makes sense! You seem so genuine and it's incredible. Thank you so much for making this content, really.
I’m sorry that you feel lonely. Just a reminder that being lonely is not your fault. Sometimes you are just very unlucky with the people you end up around. As an autistic I am surrounded by some amazing people who understand my stimming and don’t expect me to stretch myself to fit social standards (e.g. smiling). You are a beautiful person and I hope you find people you can really click with.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD as a kid. I don’t know if I would consider these “misdiagnoses” entirely, but I think the large majority of what manifested as these conditions was actually autism, but I was “too smart,” and “mature,” and a “girl,” so it wasn’t looked into very deeply. I now have “depression,” which is actually autistic burnout. It’s always funny navigating what is what in your brain when you do technically meet criteria for a given condition, but is that REALLY the full explanation for your symptoms? I’ve wondered if what I consider to be me engaging in my special interests (collecting, obsessing, researching, and such) is more OCD-esque, but it’s hard to tell.
Idk abt OCD, but w/ my special interests, they often consume my whole mind for their duration (ADHD Hyperfixations are more intense for me and relatively short lived) so I can see how that's confusing. 💜💜💜
Omg, I've had the same experience as you! I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety in my teens, but have realised I'm probably also autistic. I feel like it was so easy to dismiss every "quirk" or difficulty as just an atypical presentation of OCD, nobody even mentioned the possibility of autism until I was an adult :)
@✨Duckie✨(Key)(all pronouns)
If you don’t mind me asking, how long are your adhd hyperfixations vs special interests? I relate to other autism symptoms except special interest..? I’m not super smart about a particular subject? I don’t feel like I’m super into or knowledgeable abt mushrooms or Pokémon, ya know? But I get long adhd fixations, year, months.
@@waterwraith1189 I've never had a special interest "stop", tbh. I'm always happy to talk abt them and they make me feel more energetic.
For Hyperfixations, I can barely focus on anything else because why should I if my hyperfixations are more interesting? This lasts for between a week and several months, I think, but I can't really measure time tbh.
@@waterwraith1189 as for relating to only some symptoms/traits, that's how it is for *_many_* ppl. For ex., I have pretty much every ADHD trait and like a bit over half ASD traits (that I know of) and a zillion overlap traits. A common source of my sensory overload comes from having many sources of sound, and trying to hear them all, which I believe is more closely associated to ADHD.
I felt almost everything you had to say in this video. It's hard as hell to talk about intrusive thoughts as it is, so thank you for this and any future videos on the topic.
Valid💜
(And same, tbh)
The moment you said "my brain is my enemy" I related soo much, I´ve never head anyone else speak about their brains like me.
My hands are shaking and I;m crying typing this, because for the last several years I have been so afraid of the P one in regards to myself, and the instant relief I felt when I heard you mention it is the reason for m,y tears - thank you so much for talking about this, I hope this comment isn't triggering; I just want you to know how grateful I am to feel less alone and less horrible
It may help you Paige, and anyone else who experiences those most upsetting sorts of intrusive thoughts around children to know that such thoughts are very common for parents in pregnancy and with new babies in their lives. I suspect they arise form becoming very aware of the vulnerability of these young lives and having enormous love and caring and nurturing instinct so you start scanning the environment for all threats to their safety including in yourself, your partner and everyone/everything and some of that calculation turns into imagining specific scenarios.
It really is just a neurological artifact arising up and out of a lot of sub-concious survival and nurture instinct and processing, it is care, concern, vigilance and feeling responsible and loving towards those most vulnerable and precious. It's very, very unpleasant but I had never thought to judge myself for it, because I know with how they make me feel appalled, disgusted, distressed and utterly revolted they represent the opposite of who I am, and ironically those thoughts come from hyper-awareness of nurturing instincts not from evil intent. It is probably a lot more common than people realise. It is similar to things like high place phenomenon and other intrusive thoughts where awareness of a risk becomes imagining it happen, it's actually fear.
While intrusive thoughts are quite common, there's a big difference from brief and occasional thoughts to those that are persistent and frequent and lead to compulsive behaviours. Anything that is causing distress deserves treatment and support.
Oh my goodness I'm so grateful you are talking about this! Sometimes I feel like people's brains that have OCD are uncomfortable feeling at peace. It's like oh I'm actually feeling okay today and then your like no something's wrong. I should be worrying about something. I haven't dealt with POCD specifically but I totally understand where you are coming from as I have also dealt with similar themes. I definitely teared up watching this video. I think people who don't have OCD overlook the fact that we don't just deal with anxiety but also a lot of shame from I intrusive thoughts.
Is OCD classified as neurodivergent? 🤔
First part: relatable omfg-
Answer to question: OCD is a diagnosis of how a brain varies or deviates from the Nuerotypical type or "typical/baseline" way of thought process, emotional inner workings, etc. If that's correct, it is Nuerodivergent.
It's odd since depression, EDs, anxiety, etc, are about the thoughts and emotions themselves, and I think of them more so as having been a state of being and becoming a bigger part. (Idk if this is universally true, but has thus far been applicable)
I hope the distinction is helpful.💜💜
They’re definitely all associated with a state of misery, diagnosing the source pain is often what psychiatric institutions fail to do, when neglecting abuse as a primary factor.
Especially since most in the field are old, and can’t relate to the younger gen’s issues like a peer would.
And alot of people get into psychology in general because they or their family suffered. Which is ironic since the one thing you need to have as a therapist/psychologist is not knowledge about disorders but good mental health.
My first and last time seeking psychiatric help there we’re alot of fat professionals. Well, they confirm my thoughts when they open their mouths that they have alot of problems of their own, depression, lack of courage, laziness.
You can’t find the meaning of life from people who’ve never lived.
(Oh and I was just emotionally neglected there and left right away)
@@insertchannelname1223 *neurotypical * neurodivergent
P.S. I'm sorry, if I something misspelled I tend to correct it. if you see me writing something incorrect please feel free to tell me.
@@gladysolvera6566 haha yeah I didn't realize. I'm very good at spelling and many words make sense to me (I can hear the L when ppl say "Walk"), but EUs and UEs sound the same ig🤷♂️😊
@@gladysolvera6566 I appreciate seeing you correct spelling in a way where you're clearly not trying to be mean. Because I also tend to correct spelling, and don't want to be disliked for it
It’s funny, in my screenwriting class (of all places) some of my classmates were talking about intrusive thoughts that they had. Like someone had a thought where they’re on a highway and might bump into another car. My professor (I think) even chimed in that he once thought about dropping his infant son on his head when carrying him.
Im diagnosed w ASD and OCD too (contamination, orderrrr/symmetryyyy, intrusive af thoughts, more more more order/symmetry). I have personified everything too even now when I look at my clothes I feel my feelings are hurt because its hurting theirs if i were to break up w them...But the p ocd is something I recently acknowledged within myself too, only talked to 1 person briefly about it. It has felt like a new dark version of shame about the fact that i had nightmares along those lines. Thank you for starting the conversation. Insanely brave of you
So I'm 31, and my first-instinct thought about the hoarding of the koolaid jammers pouches..... Those handmade "recycled" purses were a HUGE trend while i was in school and if i could've gotten my mom to make one or at least teach ME how, i totally would have hoarded them too. Now i mostly just hoard jars and string/ribbons, or the recycled reusable bags you get from grocery stores, etc. I just LIMIT how much i will allow myself to keep.
I PERSONIFY OBJECTS WITH AN INTENSITY I DONT EVEN PERSONIFY PEOPLE WITH
This is so relieving to hear that other people also struggle with p ocd. It almost ended my life because I felt so disgusting and horrible for so many years, because of something I couldn’t control
For others w/ intrusive thoughts, it helps me to _change_ it if the thought causes distress. For ex., if I have the thought that I am injured when I'm not, I feel the intact skin and imagine the injury closing and healing. If there's a telepathy in the room, I mentally shout so they know not to read _my_ mind and move on to someone else. This takes practice and may need to be applied multiple times per occurrence, and I'm not even sure if this is a legit thing to do or if I made it up, but maybe at least one person will read this and have it work.
You are enough, its okay not to be okay. It's better to woory about parts of your life that are in your control than not.💜💜💜
Forgot to say that sometimes this work w/ some harmful stims (I managed to 'stop' scratching my hands by using my knuckles and not nails so it wouldn't hurt, or by drawing on them with soft markers,) but idk if that's ome-off either
intrusive thoughts and obsessions are fucking awful. thank you for sharing your story. sending you lots of love
I recently looked into OCD symptoms and subtypes and I'm pretty sure I have it. I'm autistic and I do the sensory symmetry, which I thought was an autism thing. But I also have a lot of the symptoms you mention in this video
The first minute of this video is so relatable.
Edit: lies. This whole video is relatable, holy shit. Lately I’ve been thinking I have OCD comorbid with everything else and this video has absolutely convinced me of that. I’ve also been having the struggle with “is this OCD? Or my ASD? Or my ADHD?” Meanwhile professionals are like, “it’s none of those, you have none of those things, you have mood disorders. Bipolar and BPD.” It’s like. But I don’t.
Im so sorry you are going through that. I also experience the same thing and it’s extremely scary…. This video made me cry and I just want to say that you are not alone.
17:32 Thank you for being brave enough to share this; I'm so sorry you deal with this and I know a lot of people with similar experiences appreciate that you've made them feel less alone
Wooooow! I had no idea that not being able to throw away things because you've personified them is an OCD thing!
was actually just diagnosed w ocd yesterday. been diagnosed w autism and adhd for abt a year now so it was a bit of a shocker, but also extremely understandable. i have a lot of autism rituals, but also a lot of ocd compulsivity’s. picking my split ends and ripping my skin off my fingers are my big ones
🥺🥺 i wish i could say I totally understand where you are coming from but i am so ignorant to all of the OCD that i might now be understanding entirely of how crappy it is.
Intrusive thoughts are the worst for me and idk exactly what POCD is, i will be looking into it more after this just to understand better. But i cant imagine from what you said and how you reacted that it is terrible.
Im sorry that you have all this to deal with and i hope that anyone dealing with OCD can find coping mechanisms here and there to make it so much less terrifying for people.
❤️❤️ im only medically diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and a personality disorder but I strongly believe that i may have autism and maybe even adhd. If it wasnt for you here speaking so openly about your own life, i would have NEVER been able to help my non-vocal autistic niece get the diagnosis she needed. And for sure i would have spent the rest of my life wondering what was “wrong” with me and why i was so different.
Thanks to you, i know that nothing is wrong with me and i was just born with a different brain and that is okay. I may not be diagnosed because i no longer have health care and its so hard for me in NC but i will live my life trying to be the best for my niece and speaking for anyone else that cant speak for themselves.
I appreciate you so much. ❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing so much
That's so relatable. It's all we've ever known
I am autistic, have OCD, and relate to you so much!! I appreciate you explaining things and making a lot of my upbringing make sense.
Also, criterion 😅
Omg same! Its torture and while it used to be more bad for me some years ago, i heard a while ago my gut feeling say 'how can you be so sure?' to me after I said 'no!' to it, but it didnt shut up, so for some reason i had a good logic comeback to it that made it stop and it was ' because i dont listen to mean things'. So to everyone who is struggeling -be kind to yourself because you do deserve it. :)
Thank you for this video. My family members have OCD and I'm trying to understand it more. Im sick of people assuming its just "being tidy". This video was really informative and I really appreciate you talking about it. Especially the intrusive thoughts. Thank you ❤ xx
commenting to say i stand disorded alongside you and we are both good people who are separate from intrusive thoughts. but yes ocd, specifically taboo ocd or POCD really sucks. i am also extremely visual and that element of the mental disorder has been one of the most challenging/painful symptoms in my life so far. may we both find peace 🖤
Love your channel Paige! You are literally helping to save my life as I struggle with my ASD symptoms right now..
On OCD: I haven't been officially diagnosed, but hearing your examples sound a lot like me, lol....some of these I have outgrown ( I also use think I could kill someone with my mind as a kid 😂) but I still struggle with obsessive intrusive thoughts that cause me anxiety... most days this is anxiety around my health (my chest is hurting! IS THIS A HEART ATTACK?!?!) But I totally relate about the hair tools also, lol. **Not me totally driving 20 mins back home to check that the flat iron is off**🤣 And not all of my rituals are harmful, example: my coffee making ritual around my new DeLonghi espresso machine. But I still get bent out of shape if someone/something interrupts my ritual (No, I dont want to go have that nasty ass Starbucks coffee with you!! Ugh! Gross!!) Like you I'm totally unraveling all of my potential mental issues under the umbrella of my ASD...no need to stress myself out with the 1000+ possibilities of mental disorders I may have 😂
On P*** OCD: Wow, so brave of you dear...I definitely think this is a OCD topic worth discussing if you're comfortable. I think it would be very helpful to the ND community 🙂
I know you said you don't read comments anymore, but if you happen to stumble upon these, I hope you see that you are greatly appreciated by so many people that are afraid to say their struggles, especially the P intrusive thoughts, among other horrible ones. It is so humanizing to know that someone who is famous on the internet is also human just like the rest of us, and I think we can all feel very connected and closer in sharing our struggles so that we don't have to struggle with shame and any struggle just on our own. I believe we are made to tell each other out struggles, even if it seems so bad, because it will feel so good for everyone when we can share the weight off our shoulders and be able to connect and say, "hey, me too," to something you thought you could never have support with. It's so freeing and connecting. I'm so glad that you have a good community to share this to ♡ and I'm glad that there are understanding and gracious people that won't put you down for a struggle that you can't control. It will be ok
Hi Paige! I've been a huge fan of you and your videos for a while, but I just wanted to take the time to thank you for making this video specifically. It was such a pleasant surprise to see what the topic was, and while I'm so sorry you have to experience the misery of OCD, it felt so nice to hear you speak so open and honestly about it.
I have ADHD and OCD (and I have a strong inkling that I might have a few other things that I'm still trying to figure out/have not been diagnosed that, like you said, are linked to the other two). I just received an official diagnosis for OCD about a month and half ago after about two and a half years of experiencing the full onset of symptoms (though in hindsight I am realizing that I may have dealing with symptoms of OCD for a lot longer than I realized).
I can't express how seen this video made me feel. I was not even two minutes before I started laughing and tearing up at how accurate your descriptions were of what it feels like to live with this disorder. You're totally right, of all the things I've experienced in my mental health journey, OCD is easily the worst. I felt you so much and got emotional with you especially with the bit about POCD--I have deal with a few themes that rotate but that one is one of my most consistent and most terrible, especially because I work with kids. I just wanted to send you so much love and let you know you are doing such incredible work and helping SO many people just by having the courage to be vulnerable and so honest about your experiences. It is such a privilege to be able to watch you and grow in this journey alongside you!
Oh lord that Pocd part. Um. I have something similar but with it starts with I and sounds like Insect. Fun thoughts!
I had no idea how hard I would relate to this. Trying not to cry with you right now....
I'm glad you spoke about POCD because while I don't have that I know SO many people with OCD who don't realize that's what that is and they're just like, terrified to be near a child because they think something is wrong with them when it is really OCD. The stigma around everything just makes it so much worse too. I will also say that I'm not sure if you mentioned but I have a weird type of OCD where it is contamination OCD but not because I'm a germaphobe but simply because I think it's like, just wrong? Like I'm not afraid of getting sick and will share drinks but if I touch certain doorhandles, drop anything on the floor, touch anything with feet or trash or even a clean trash bag (there are hundreds of other things I could list but no one needs that!), I will clean it. I've always had a hard time categorizing it because it is weird. Anyway, your videos are really interesting and I'm just barely falling down the rabbit hole!
Thank you so much for your videos and for sharing everything you do. Today I had a very difficult doctors appointment to go to, and because of your videos, I felt okay to pop my Pop It! In the waiting area. It helped me so much. I’m glad you’ll be doing more OCD videos soon, as I got recently diagnosed with it and it is still all very new to me. Your perspective helps me relate to and understand the world better, so thanks again Paige.
Having ocd is so hard. I actually got in trouble at work this past Saturday when my usual routines were interrupted. Luckily my boss was understanding (her son has Asperger’s and he deals with feelings like this) so she was understanding but annoyed. It’s honestly ruined my life and with the pandemic it got worse because of anxieties. It’s extremely hard to try to explain to someone why you’re upset and then you get overwhelmed and frustrated because you can’t explain why u do it or why u need to do it and they don’t get it. I broke down after work because I didn’t know how to explain that I wish my brain didn’t get upset over this but it does. Everything has a place and a system.
I admire your bravery. Please remember that you are good and kind and not your intrusive thoughts!
ok, so today is my birthday and this is the best present I could ever ask for. I have been waiting for this video because I have ocd and autism! ocd sucks and I'm so happy I can relate to you with it.
Omg I never realised that personifying all of your belongings and hoarding was related to OCD! I have always struggled with compulsions and intrusive thoughts and was diagnosed with OCD as a kid but I never imagined there was someone else who also couldn't get rid of their stuff because she thought 'the clothing would get upset'. Thank you so much for making this video💛☀️
I feel so seen. Thank you Paige. No one talks about it.
Numbers give me feelings. I cant explain it. I have to set my alarms with certain numbers that feel "good." The number 3 is very important to me.
Same here though I am not diagnosed with OCD I just happen to have a lot of symptoms. The number 11 freaks me out, it’s hard to describe. Even typing that out is just so wrong to me. But a number I really do like is 12
CAN I JUST SAY YOURE SO WHOLESOME AND ADORABLE AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU TALK AND I LOVE HOW MUCH YOU CARE ABOUT EDUCATING PEOPLE. i love watching your videos paige. youre an incredible human. thank you so much for these videos. its very shitty and hard living with all these disorders and i just want to say that im so proud of you and the person you are. i wish i could give you a huge hug cuz you genuinely deserve the world. you're a very lovely human, NOT A HORRIBLE ONE. you're great and you're cool asf AND I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
You are so brave! Thank you for daring to be vulnerable 🙏
I'm glad you made the comparison between OCD and addiction, because that's something that's been on my mind a lot. I'm diagnosed with OCD, and I've also been reading a lot of addiction literature, and the latter frequently talks about compulsive behaviors as being addictive. I haven't found any sources that really go into detail on similarities between compulsions and addictions, though, and my therapist (an OCD specialist) doesn't seem to have more than a passing knowledge of addiction. I wish there was some research on the topic, but I haven't been able to find anything.
Thank you for sharing. It's hard for neurodivergent people to speak up about their experiences, at least it is for me. I'm so glad there people like you willing to share with the internet things that MANY of us struggle with. I believe that when we can share openly and hold a safe space for eachother to open up, that we can start to heal all the wounds and stigmas put on us by society.
That crunchy leaf thing just awoke a PRIMAL MEMORY in me.
You raise a great point toward the end.
I've found that autistic compulsions feel satisfying by themselves because the routine *itself* is the reward. ASD has different regions of the brain crossing a little, which makes one crave symmetry or identical colors or a certain number of items, etc., even if it's not necessary.
OCD, as you eloquently said, never gets completely "satisfied", as one feels that t/hey must do the act to *avoid a consequence*. So the OCD isn't really about a reward; t/hey can always rinse the plate a 58th time, and the 57th only feels good in an abstract sense.
ASD is like scratching an itch because it feels good in a way most don't understand; OCD is like scratching an itch because it might become an infection if t/hey don't scratch it enough.
What do you think?
Thank you for this video. As an educator it helps me better understand my students. Reading about these things vs hearing it from someone who is living with it is super helpful. Other educators often pass these things off as nothing. However if a student is suffering we need to be able to help them, not just change them.
The examples of OCD makes me relieved and concerned because now I know others have certain thoughts I have. The problem is that now I don't know if its an autism
Well damn.. that ending.. takes some balls to admit those. Ah! Paige is the coolest. So thankful I found this channel.
thank you so much for making this video, this made me feel a lot better (about my intrusive thoughts in particular, but the whole video was great).
So relatable
I may have something related to this. I've always bitten my fingers as a kid. Not nails - the skin on my fingers. These days it's my right thumb that gets the attention... and I am currently peeling it like a banana. It's something I do when I'm stressed, bored, just because... whatever. I end up injuring it sometimes. I've gone through so many tubes onf antiseptic creams. And then, as soon as it doesn't hurt, of I go with it again. Dunno what it is that I'm doing, but the results are not pretty at all.
I’m the same way, but with skin picking, and occasionally hair pulling/removing. I have a scab on the back of my head that I’ve been going at for a solid 6 months, and I’m kind of pissed cuz it healed over enough to where I can no longer use my fingers to break it open, so I’ve opted for sharp tweezers or a knife. Yep, I think I have a problem.
I know you don't read the comments but I feel compelled to say you are such a freaking awesome human! You've helped me deal with my ADHD and I learned stuff I was really interested in (physiology) at the same time!
I love how honest you are and Raw
Thank you so much for this video. I have been searching for information from people with OCD, but I have a hard time finding anything. At the age of 25 I am finally getting assessed for OCD next month. Also the gender crisis...I feel you.
Thank you for being so open. It helps others including me. I don’t feel so alone.
Your way of relaying information is super entertaining, I really enjoy your content. Hope you're doing well Paige ☺️
This was a very good video. Very informative and relatable. Ocd & internalized Ocd are just so much more than what we’re fed in society. Thank you.
Criterion is singular. Criteria is plural. I need a hobby.
I have OCD, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, major depression, and PTSD. It is hard. People in the “neurotypical world don’t understand.
I don't have OCD but I also used to personify everything! I personified leaves as a kid! I'd collect hundreds of them and cry when my parents burnt them in the fire pit in the fall😂
Thanks Paige, your good heart and sacrifices to offer your expériences enlighten my day !
Omg ocd sucks. I’ve had ocd ever since I was 6 and it’s absolutely horrible but I just want y’all to know it gets better so don’t give up. Ik it’s really sucky but try to stay positive no matter how hard it is, you can do this! Im rooting for y’all
I once heard OCD intrusive thoughts described as images and commands to do the thing you fear the most in the world that you will do. This was told to me by my roommate in an eating disorder residential program whom I had only a few hours before nearly smacked on the side of the head with a pillow at full strength because I wasn't paying attention to my thoughts. Had I followed through and not caught myself, she would have been severely injured (at the very least). I have not had much treatment for my OCD because I have had too much other stuff to deal with, but she had been through a lot of OCD treatment so I trust that her information is correct.
It is obvious that you, Paige, care deeply about children and want to keep them safe and happy and healthy, so it makes sense that your OCD would target that love and twist it. You are not your thoughts. Thank you for sharing with us and being so open and vulnerable, you make me feel less alone, which is one of the highest compliments I can give.
I am glad you showed up on my suggestions. I have only watched two videos so far, but so much you have said resonates with my experiences. I am 32 and never got diagnosed with anything mental, I guess I masked exceedingly well, but it has started to break me ever since college and I know I need to figure out how to navigate the mental health side of doctor appointments. I've just been focused most on the physical health diagnoses, because goodness I have a lot, and so money has gone towards those versus the "can deal with it" mental condition(s). My health insurance changed this year and potentially has better coverage for mental health, so I am currently getting the courage and also "knowledge about how to explain things I deal with" to start that journey. I keep bouncing between "do I have ADHD, or do I have Autism, or do I have both" but this video helped me at least pinpoint that OCD is extremely likely for me, due to the symmetry issues, skin picking, mental rituals to prevent "bad things" (such as, carry the umbrella or else it WILL rain), etc.
awesome video, this discussion needs to happen, thanks for sharing!
i relate to you so much its wild. thank you for sharing + creating awareness + giving me the words to describe what my experiences are/feel like.
Appreciate this very personal discussion - note that the DSM (DSM-5 released May 2013) newest edition was/is due to be released sometime this month. It will not be the DSM-6 but instead named DSM-TR
Much love to you, Paige! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences. I learn so much from you. Your videos help me understand my own brain better and you help me feel less alone in this journey of neurodivergent life.
I hoarded wrappers too! And in college I hoarded scratch paper, which was a problem since I'm an engineer and went through a ton it. I basically just started ripping things up into tiny pieces to get myself to be able to part with it. It sucks hard though, so frustrating! I can also relate to feeling like everything is sentient and has feelings
Thank you for opening up and telling about your experience. I was able to relate to nearly everything you said and I am glad you are voicing things I’m honestly not able to
I love you, omg, I love you so much, we have like the same brain and really really similar OCD. All of the examples you were saying made me smile so much yet want to cry, it makes me feel so happy that I’m not the only one with these thoughts, images, urges, compulsions; all of that stuff, yet it makes me want to cry BECAUSE I know you go through the same as me. And the same as many, many others. I have not been diagnosed with ADHD or autism, I am 14, and I am completely nearly sure that I have at least ADHD or autism. I fit in with both very well, I have watched all of your videos on these things and I have convinced myself (also a problem because I do doubt I actually have it because OCD is known to convince you of things). I am diagnosed with OCD btw, but self diagnosing is valid in my opinion because of certain situations, money, etc etc.
Yet again, I love you and I love your channel, it’s quite possibly my favourite channel on TH-cam because of how comfortable it is. Your personality makes me feel great because I have a really similar personality, I love how you seem to be being yourself (of course, if you’re not, that’s completely okay! Just be who you feel comfortable with being.)
Have a wonderful day/night.
Please more on the intrusive thoughts.
Man it's surprisingly nice to hear someone else talk about experiencing these things. I always feel crazy when I have to explain these these things to normal people 🙃 😅
Like I literally have to change my pillow case everyday or something terrible will happen to me while I'm sleeping...
I deal with most of these. The disturbing intrusive thoughts I'll get sometimes is just random thoughts about hurting people and it really really freaks me out and makes me feel horable. I should probably talk to my therapist about it but I'm dealing with so much other shit it's hard to touch on everything my brain dose
Learning more about OCD and intrussive thoughts makes me feel so much better with myself. I've always feel bad for having images in my mind that comes randomly, either is POCD or any intrussive thoughts of hurting somebody or myself. I felt like something was wrong with me for having those thoughts. I was officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist with Bipolar and with my psychologist we talk a lot of BPD and OCD so it is rough. Now I can tell that I have poor insights with my OCD bc I've been focusing a lot on my Bipolar and BPD. Good to know that I have a lot to work on with myself to feel better and recongize what are the the impacts of OCD in my life. I think that any neurodivergent people is really brave when talking of this stuff because in a neurotypical world we are seen as bad people. All the things that I do to shut down the intrussive thoughts or anything that makes me feel anxious or bad I have to do it in my mind. I scream, I curse, Ecolalia is definetly one of the things I do. If I am in the streets saying out loud f*ck repetitivly I probably will also have a panic attack bc of the looks that people will give me.
I don't know, I think I'm just venting rn. Anywayyyy, thanks for the videos and all the information with personal experiences that makes these videos relatable enough.
Love your videos Paige - wish there was something I could do to help. I wish you nothing but happiness and peace. You truly deserve it.
You're so brave for sharing about POCD. I find inappropriate sexual intrusive thoughts the most difficult thing to cope with. It really sucks not being able to trust yourself 😮💨
This video is so important to me. Thank you so much for talking about intrusive thoughts, there's not enough info about it
Thank you so much for sharing, This is so very relatible
I don’t have an OCD diagnosis, but I fit the criteria. Mostly when I was a child, now I can manage it and don’t have the compulsions. For me it was mostly rituals and magical thinking. I needed to do things a certain way or something bad will happen. That’s the main difference from my “regular” rituals and routines. Nothing bad will happen if I don’t do it. I just prefer to do it because it’s better that way. It is a constant thing in my head, though. I have no idea how I’ve learned to cope with it. From being consumed by fear of not following my rituals, to be able to feel when a routine is turning into ocd. It’s a tricky thing. I don’t wish anyone to have ocd. Of all the things I have, it’s the worst for sure
Thankyou. thankyou. thankyou.
It's hard to explain my OCD to people because I carry so much shame with it and struggle to articulate it without feeling like an alien. But you have done a great job. Thankyou for your vulnerability 💙🧡
this is an amazing video resource to help people understand OCD. As someone who does NOT have ocd i always feel annoyed when people tell me "I'm OCD" when i like to thoroughly clean the counters and make them white at work? I try to explain that i like to clean and seeing things clean makes me happy, and I do not in any way feel anxious or experience intrusive thoughts that make me obsess over cleanliness or filth. Ive dated someone with OCD (including POCD) and I wish people knew how hard it actually is for those who do have it. It's not quirky and can at times be debilitating lol
Wouldn’t be surprised if my mental healthcare providers are considering an OCD diagnosis for me given I deal with a lot of these things. I have difficulty throwing anything away (really bad when I have MCAS and EDS and stuff on the floor is causing histamine buildup and/or creating a trip hazard). Intrusive thoughts are the worst and not all of them for me are tried into the PTSD I have.
Thankyou for opening up about this it's a brilliant thing your doing breaking this stigma attached to OCD ❤️
I was literally googling "autism vs ocd" when your next words were "people ask me how to tell what is autism and what is ocd" hahahah. I have BOTH as well and I really appreciate your perspective on differentiating between the two. I agree that things like stimming is usually non-harmful and more autistic based where as my other repetitive behaviors might have negative connotations and be more OCD based. GREAT VIDEO P. Thanks for being vulnerable and talking about how awful it is to SEE intrusive thoughts. I have an eidetic memory as well and I've never heard another autistic person talk about the true level of distress that can come from that so called "skill"... again-GREAT VIDEO.
My brain is also a separate, malevolent entity. Self is separate too, but we're generally aligned in most matters. And I don't personify things but of course they have feelings.
Sounds v plural
The book Brain Lock has helped me SO. MUCH. Like it's helped me go from most days being a 7/8 out of 10 on the bad ocd days scale to most days being a ZERO/1/2/3 out of 10. Like...sometimes I go a whole day with no OCD shit. This is incredible considering I used to not be able to go more than an hour or two. In the book he gives really clear techniques to combat it and work to change the neural pathways seen (and confirmed on mri scans) in ocd brains. He believes that while ocd cannot truly ever be cured, the brain can e altered positively through behavior therapy so much over time that it's almost cured. I will absolutely take 'almost.' I still have problems, but anyone who has gone through this absolute hell understands the freedom of it basically not being anything more than an occasional nuisance.
my friends pick on me for telling them there is a right and wrong way to lace & tie off your boots among other things...
Not me just now realizing that I've been hoarding all of my empty cigarillo packets.... Not me having a backpack filled with 600 empty rillo packets organized for the future when I come up with a creative way to use them.... and NOT me crying as a 23 year old woman anytime I waste ANYTHING (: NOT ME HAVING 3 BOXES FULL OF MY OLD FAVORITE CHILDREN TOYS/CLOTHES IN STORAGE AT MY MOMS HOUSE FOR MY KIDS LOL
and my least favorite compulsion of all is checking over and over and over again every single thing that I text or DM to everyoneeee just to try and see what I'm sending from their perspective...... NOT me counting to 7, 11, and 23 constantly because they're magic numbers in my mind...
but ESPECIALLY not me holding my breath as long as I possibly can anytime someone sneezed/brushes off their clothing because I can see/feel the particles flying all over me #wearenotweirdatall
Thank you so much for this
I would really appreciate more OCD related videos whenever you're up for them