same, i 100% relate to her when she said how gender is a social construct and gender roles are outdated and ridiculous. i’m not following that shit lol
This is exactly how I communicate my gender/sex. Love hearing someone else saying it. I know I have XX chromosomes (one of my autistic specialities is knowing Things about my body. "Please Bill Gates use your microchips on me so we get to know everything about me!") But that's it. XX says nothing about me.
"Too many thoughts, can't do anything," is the most ADHD thing I have ever heard. The way I describe it is, "I have so many things to do that I spend my time thinking about them and then forget to start doing them, and then mentally punish myself for not starting them, and that ends up being bad because by the time I'm done with punishing myself another hour has passed and I still haven't started."
You’re seriously doing such a great job advocating for yourself. I relate so much to your struggle getting doctors to listen to about “depression is a symptom” of untreated ADHD. Keep going Paige!
A true advocate for the disorder would be one looking for ways to cure/prevent it. As someonev that lives with high functioning autism I find it nothing short of sick and disgusting how so much of the community is against looking for ways to at least prevent it if not cure it. All people like Paige are doing is holding back human development from advancing.
@@beanwithbacon It is really tragic that anyone thinks autism or neurodiversity should be “cured” or prevented. The people who need to be cured and completely prevented from existing are the people who make ND people feel broken and useless. We wouldn’t have inventors and engineers without autism and ADHD. The advancement of the human race, the next level of evolution, is to stop hating and hiding the most creative and innovative members of our world.
@@shewho333 Hey fuck you for saying I need to be prevented for wanting peoplev to have better more fulfilling lives. I'm Asperger's and severe OCD and would do ANYTHING for a cure...
@@beanwithbacon Why is autism bad though Why would you wanna cure/prevent autism.. Neuro-divergency is unpreventable and just the way people's minds are wired. Autism isn't some sick disease it's just a difference.. I don't get what you mean.. Sorry.
You have just described my exact feelings about gender! I always think of my gender as 'female by default' because it's not wrong exactly, it just doesn't mean anything (to me). My gender is 'no'. Love it, thank you.
I’m very much alike. I identify as agender; A person without gender. I just don’t understand what makes people feel like women, men, etc. I don’t feel like a woman or man or something in between. I just don’t get gender, which I would guess is why I also don’t really feel like I have one.
Yeah I don't get gender either. I think the body is just the body I don't understand the connotations that certain bodies have personality traits or feelings associated with them.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being real. I'm 32 (just diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and Excutive Dysfunction[on top of the other 8 rare diseases I've known]) and this week I finally decided to stop hiding my feelings, thoughts, and stims. No more hiding who I really am, because I am awesome.... and you (as well as my kick ass therapist) were a huge part in me stepping out. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Paige. P.s. if you need space and time to get to a happy/safe place... DO IT!!! If you would tell us to do it, do it without any guilt.
"No one cares if you're an autistic adult, if you're gonna find any autism stuff it's all for children " The painful truth 💔 Technically I can't even say I'm autistic (although I genuinely feel I am) because I can't afford a diagnosis(asd assessments aren't covered if you're an adult in Canada. You gotta pay out of pocket.
@@beanwithbacon yes it is! Autism diagnosis can be hard to get. Whether it’s about money (like this person) As long as you do lots of research, it’s valid. Not everyone has privilege to get a diagnosis.
@@youtubwatcher No, no it's not. What happens if you claim such is we get a bunch of people demanding privileges for something they don't actually have. I'm saying this as someone that was diagnosed with Asperger's at 15.
@@youtubwatcher I agree the mental health system needs to be far better than it currently is in terms of being able to offer help to those in need but if we start allowing people to just say "I'm this or I'm that" it will just make it harder for those that actually suffer from disorders/defects to gain access to the help they legitimately need.
“If I don’t plan out my day I will do nothing because there is just too much to do“. This is exactly how I feel. I am so thankful for social media like TH-cam and Tic tok. I can finally put words to how I’m feeling. I can look for a diagnosis. Thank you 💜
Your rant at the beginning about your doctor prioritizing treating your depression over autism/ADHD really struck home for me honestly. I have fairly moderate Tourette's syndrome, and for my entire life my main doctor has prioritized dealing with that over my ADHD, let alone even caring to check me for autism. I was originally put on non-stimulant ADHD medication (after I was screened for it by a therapist, not the doctor btw) because she was worried about my Tourette's possibly maybe getting worse on stimulants. That medication completely fucked me up for about a month, I was sleeping for probably 15+ hours every day on school weeks, I fell asleep in class once...and it did fuckall for my ADHD (and funnily enough that same medication was one they tried to force me on when I was first diagnosed with Tourettes to try to "treat" it, I only took it for a few days then dropped it bc I didn't care, but ever since I got re-prescribed a medication I'd already been on I lost permanent trust with that doctor). Best thing is, I'm on a stimulant now, not only has it helped me manage my ADHD, but now that I'm improving in my ability to get myself in order, I have more energy to manage my Tourette's than I did before. Now that I know I'm autistic, from seeing another doctor entirely, I feel like a lot of my tics tend to also overlap with stims. I have multiple things that I do both as stims and as tics. I have a small feeling that that overlap (which is extremely common btw) could contribute to how my autism was missed so easily. ALL of this was also happening when i was telling my doctor very directly that my Tourette's isn't even my highest priority for things about myself that bother me. My tics are a nusiance sometimes, some days more than others, but like...they don't hurt me, and I can manage them decently well in my life now when I need to. It is much more exhausting for me to make any attempt at masking than to suppress my tics.
what you’re describing IS a type of synesthesia!! ordinal linguistic synesthesia is when you associate numbers, letters, colors, and/or days of the week etc with genders and/or personalities
if u had an entire video dedicated to talking abt (ur) gender n how gender is different for neurodivergent pl, but specifically autistic ppl compared to neurotypical ppl, i would definitely watch
indeed a certain body part of autistkc people is a bit different than the norm that bofy part is the brain in transgender people the brain is also a bit different than what is typical for people with their type of genitalia and instead more similar to the brains of people with another type of genitalia, or sometimes something in between or even beyond what is found in most other humans.
I am currently experiencing a weird phenomenon where I feel like you and me are close friends instead of a content producer and an audience member because this video feels like a conversation and you get me on such a deep level (without knowing me). Anyway, thank you so much for making and publishing these and sharing yourself so authentically! It's great.
That's called a parasocial relationship, I think(?). They can be healthy and good so no worries unless you were to notice it affects you negatively in some way. :D I think that maybe most people experiences them nowadays (not in the same ways though) 🤔
@@queenseby For now I am just happy because it feels great and comforting. I studied Communication Science, so I should know more about parasocial relationships, but I don't remember whether this applies and a confusion with a regular social relationship is included there. Probably 🤔
I’m so sorry you’re feeling depressed, Paige. I’m super sad too. Autistic w/ADHD too. I’m also looking into PMDD. Still figuring meds out because some just make my thoughts more and faster w/little help on my exec functioning (or directing my exec functioning). Hope I can figure it out soon too. I don’t know how to not be sad in this world that doesn’t understand us and actively harms us. Know you are not alone and many of us relate. I really hope this new doc helps you!
I loved when you said the majority of people out there don't respect other people's boundaries. I'm in my late 30's and in my experience it's absolutely true! Or they give lipservice to the idea that boundaries are good and should be honored, but they value-judge other people's boundaries and decide not to honor the boundaries they consider "abnormal."
Yo I’m not even three minutes in yet but this “please treat my executive dysfunction so I can be a human who accomplishes things and then I’ll be less anxious and sad about not doing the things” is SO. REAL.
Hi Paige, you mentioned not seeing anyone for therapy who specializes in autism. I am also in Ontario, and am autistic (recently diagnosed). I am currently enrolled in therapy with the ADHD & Spectrum Centre, which is unique as they only hire neurodivergent people. You don't need to be nearby, everything can be done remotely. My experience has been great so I just thought I'd tell you about them in case you might be interested in checking it out! Just a warning though that it might not be covered by insurance.
Thank you so much for making these videos! The part about how autism affects relationships really hit me. I am 38 & have a lot of mental health “issues” that really seem to relate to potentially being autistic. The more I think back on my childhood and learn more about autistic women and girls the more I feel like I am undiagnosed autistic. Literally, every single thing you mentioned about how being autistic affects your relationships was something that I do. Thank you so much for sharing! You are amazing & so helpful.
Hey paige I have a question, I am also autistic but idk about this, when I look at lights at night or during the day I can see lens flares, do you know why this is, like I can see really stretched out red lines from the back of cars at night. I'm 15 btw.
I have this too, for me it's because of astigmatism (unrelated to autism as far as I know, it has to do with your vision and the curvature of your eyes)
I am an autistic man and a different question came up on one of my first dates. My date wanted s3x on the first date and I didn't want to have s3x with her, so she became really ratty and behaved as though I owed her something. When we discussed meeting again she snapped "and you can take me out" alluding to the fact that she had had to transport me to the first date and that she had to be more accommodating than she would with an average man. Then she wouldn't let go of the attitude that I had cheated her out of something by refusing s3x even though we didn't go on a second date. Clearly she thought that she was owed more from the first date because she had to be really accommodating by driving me and agreeing to a venue that wouldn't overwhelm me. Is that kind of attitude justified? What does everyone think? Neurotypical people in particular, please answer.
I'm also autistic but this woman sounds quite literally like a female version of that guy who buys you flowers and expects sex because of that. Toxic as hell if you ask me. But again, I'm autistic, so this question probably wasn't for me.
I have a family member who was like this. They expect something out of me, when clearly I can’t Litterally do it. No I don’t think this attitude is completely justified -to be honest if I was in that situation and my partner would not listen. I would ask them, why are they reacting like this? to me I see it like this As a child- something may have triggered her, and so she adjusted as seeing- that when things don’t “go her way” she may see it as an attack towards her… either way if you explain It is nothing against her -she probabaly will not understand and if they do that’s great but in order for them to understand… they have to be able to change .. and if they don’t your energy can be easily sort of -welll taken so Maybe examine why you are dating this human being ? idk I don’t really understand dating … if a person doesn’t respect my boundaries BYE 🤍Because you are worth so much because you simply exist maybe this question is not for me but again, if this answer resonates with you then it does and no then no 🤍good luck
That last question was pretty interesting my son is autistic and he mentioned mentioned the other day when he was having pain that the pain felt pink. Not exactly the same but seems similar maybe
Also, when you were talking about seven being a hockey player that sounds a lot like something ordinal linguistic personification synesthesia I’m pretty sure it’s called where people see numbers as having different personalities and it’s also related to synesthesia which is where people see colors when the hear certain sounds, ET see. It’s basically like the mixing of the senses
Oh my gosh the gender talk was amazing and you definitely shared that so well. It's so cool to hear others talk about their own experiences and feelings regarding that, and I loved every moment of it. For sure related to the ant picnic thing lmaooo
There is way too much misunderstanding and stigma against Autism. I have to do a PowerPoint for my Neuroscience class and we got to choose from 3 topics offered to us. I chose the topic The role of mirror neurons in social referencing and understanding empathy in Autism. It had been so hard to find peer reviewed good resources to use to talk about this very specific topic that is not negative. I feel like most stuff I see is almost an attack on Autistic people and so misunderstanding from the reality. I am trying to only reflect Autism in a more realistic and somewhat positive light. Science and Medicine needs to do better overall.
I'm sorry that you feel sad but thank you for sharing. I am pretty sure I have autism, and everyone who knows me (mom, past boyfriend's, friends, EVERYONE) say the same when I say I think have autism, "that makes sense". And they say it in such an ordinary way, like the entire world knows and can see it but no one bothered telling me. I'm 38, so it's not like I can get diagnosed or treated. The way you describe "all the thoughts" had me in tears because I'm like that's me! I've been in and out of therapy, with about 10 diagnoses now and ALL of them can be wrapped up into autism. When I'm told to "just stop ruminating" it's infuriating because I can't. The gender issue has always been a thing. I present feminine for the most part but I have a healthy dose of masculinity too. Inside I feel really balanced between woman and man but I don't know how to express it in a way others understand, but also others understanding me has never really been a goal. It's weird that you said you'll get through burnout faster if you'll just be your fantastic autistic self. I had this a-ha moment earlier this week. After work I went to a trailhead, changed into MY clothes (out of work clothes but those clothes are mine too) and went out into my "adult playground". While I was hiking, I realized that when I don't have mask, my depression goes away faster. When others ask what I need, I don't always know. Like if I'm melting down, all i know is that being held, preferably in a tight hug. But others see me as angry and get scared when I'm melting down and often leave me alone which makes me feel abandoned and hollow inside. I can't keep a relationship because men don't know "how to deal with me". I'd like to try dating women but I don't know how. Dating is scary because of the boundary issues.
Oh my. I just thought I have adhd but the way you just put this into words feels exactly like me....especially when I’m melting down and need a hug. My child is presenting w similar things. Now I know what’s been going on with me. Thanks for posting this and you are not alone. God bless xo
I totally agree with your point about providing AAC for non-verbal people to be able to communicate. However I think it's important to remember that some individuals, especially those with comorbid learning difficulties, can find AAC difficult to access too. I work with a 13 year old who is autistic with a severe learning disability, and we have been working on finding appropriate AAC for her for years but we have not had much luck with any of it. We have tried Makaton signing, adapted signing, PECS, picture cards (both photos and symbols), communication boards, AAC apps, eye gaze. We rely a lot on her body language, what she goes towards and her happy noises/crying to communicate things but this does not help with more complex things - e.g. sometimes she is upset and we have no idea why. We keep persevering and giving her opportunities to use AAC but it's not always as simple as that.
my dog also created this habit of feeling the need to dominate other dogs and growl at them - this is because they feel the need to protect you. what our dog trainer told us to do, was to wait until he wants to jump on the other dog and break his action by grabbing his dog collar by pulling him to your direction (of course without hurting him or her, you just want to scare the dog) whilst screaming no and stamping on the ground to show that you are the ‚leader‘ basically. sounds weird but it really worked wonders! our dog got the scare of his life haha but he never really tried to act out on another dog like that again and if he does, just shout no at him once more.
I'm very excited you made a new video. I know it takes a lot of energy and time to make these. Thank you! I need this content as someone who just figured out I'm AA (I'm a 33 year old afab person and I'm in deep emotional burnout).
I’m still in a university but I’m taking 3 courses a semester instead of the ideal 4, which can still be pretty hard when you have ADHD and have been a hardcore procrastinator all your life. I was supposed to graduate this coming winter but it may be looking more like next year. As for how I deal with it… meds. Particularly Concerta. It’s been very helpful with my ADHD. In fact, when I saw Paige’s rant in this video it felt about 90% accurate in describing how I feel when not on Concerta. Hopefully Paige can get the same treatment. I feel like it would help her so much, and she deserves it.
Hi Paige! I think you should start a podcast because everything you comment on is always very interesting. Pd: You have helped me understand myself better, so thank you :)
I've been watching your videos, they've been so helpful. I appreciate you, also you have the kindest and the most stunningly beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I can tell there's so much going on inside your brain and I feel it in my bones.
I am going into psychology specifically so I can help autistic adults. The way we simply don’t exist to people is so sad I’m gonna try and help that especially when it comes to burn out and stuff like that
I feel you, I was treated for Depression for 20 years, this year I started Adderall XR (generic Amphetamine Aspartate Monohydrate) I take 40mg a day, but might be moving to 60mg a day. This has changed my life, although I had emotional instability for the first 6 weeks, I am now so much more calm on Adderall. Calm. I don't know how to explain it any better. Peace. Calm. Serene. I have been able to focus and complete a 10 page essay, I feel like I have control over my brain for the first time in my life.
In my language, gender and sex are kind of... the same thing? One word (pol) is used to describe both things. Regardless, I remember hearing the word 'gender' for the first time when I was 6 and started learning English, and I remember being like... "what?" I'm 21 now. Nothing has changed. I still look at the concept of gender somewhat quizzically. Like... why do I have to dress a certain way or behave a certain way or talk a certain way just because of what my sex happens to be?? Kinda dumb, Society. Kinda dumb.
having to dress/act/talk etc. a certain way would be gender roles/expectations, i.e. what we expect from certain genders (or in some cases sex in societies which don't recognise a distinction). Even without gender roles/expectation, there is still gender in other forms. Gender identity is how people experience their own gender. Brains develop at a different prenatal stage than other parts of the body, and in some cases this can result in the brain developing in a "masculine" way when the body has developed in a "feminine" way, or vice versa, or the brain only developing in a "masculine" way for some parts whilst other parts have remained "feminine" (the "feminine" brain is the default and the presence of testoserone at certain times during development can change it to more "masculine"), or develop parts of the brain only somehwta but not fully "masculine" (if some testosterone is present at the right time, but not enough for complete masculine development for that part of the brain). Then people whose brain is different frome what is typical for their body can start to feel like they identify better with people with different bodies, or fall more in the middle or even feel like an outsider to this whole gender business. Autism is also a way in which the brain is different, so this may also affect how autistic (and other neurodivergent) people experience gender and may more easily feel like an "outsider" because their brain is different in a whole other way that matches neither "masculine" nor "feminine" things. On top of that, gener roles can complicate things more, because even when your gender does match, you may not care for the specific gendered societal expectations that are expected of you. Gender also has a very cultural aspect. The Bugis people from South Sulawesi in Indonesia traditionally have 5 genders. Oroané are similar to cisgender men, and makkunrai similar to cisgender women. Calabai are people with "masculine" bodies who take on more "feminine" roles; unlike western trans women, they do still regard themselves as men but just with a more "feminine" role, and have their own type of "feminine" clothes distinct from the clothes of makkunrai (cis women) and often take central stage in wedding planning. Calalai are people with "feminine" bodies who take on more traditionally "masculine" roles; they wear "masculine" clothes, have "masculine" jobs, and have "feminine" partners with who they have adopted children. Bissu are people who embody the balance of the genders, these are people who are androgynous and often (but not always) have ambiguous genitalia. Traditionally they kept celibate and held highly importsnt ritualistic/religious functions and were considered to be sort of gateways between humans and gods.
you have helped my adult daughter with autism. thanks for helping me to better communicate with her. God bless you and your videos. keep up the great work
this was a really great video! I especially loved and related to the part about wishing someone else would research on there own time, and hating when people ask you what you need because I have no idea! and I wish I didn't have to spend the mental energy explaining everything to everyone just to advocate for myself
hey friend when i was suffering with my mental health I'd read lots of people being like 'i love you, you are loved' and it felt so impersonal, they don't know me atall. but im proud of myself, and im glad im still here, i bet you will be too
I absolutely love your attitude toward sex and gender. I feel exactly the same way! I was cracking up when you kept repeating “My gender is No.” Anyhow that came off way more cringe than I wanted it to but I’m used to that because I’m pretty sure I’m autistic! Yay!!! I can’t find anyone to assess me! Also yay! Oh, I remembered my point. No, I forgot. Oh! It wasn’t really a point. I was just going to say something about how I’m male presenting and AMAB but feel like MY gender is No also, and I wasn’t sure if I was just being an impostor. So thanks for sharing. 🎼🎵This is the end of the comment song. It’s real cringe that’s how you know it’s sonoftorin…gottagonowbye🎶
Hi, Berry diagnosed later in life. To the person(s) seeking diagnoses later in life I would say the most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnoses can be hard and for some totally unobtainable due to costs or large waiting lists. Within the communities most won't question you when you say you are self diagnosed. This is mostly due to the fact that a lot of us do a ton of research before reaching the conclusion of having autism. Before I got a professional diagnoses I had researched it for months. I only got the diagnoses to get access to resources. A lot of us oldies hang out here and on other channels, like at Woodshed Theory run by Claire, or Orion Kelly -That autistic guy- ran by you guessed it Orion. There are also several discussion groups(Facebook, Discord and online forums). You can't know unless you ask and there will always be someone who answers in my experience.
As of writing this, I was diagnosed with autism today. (At the age of 15) So my testing period is fresh in my mind so let's break it down for people who want to get tested or are currently in that process. TW // Mention of depressive episodes, panic attacks and SH. Okay, firstly I was struggling with depressive episodes and panic attacks, so I finally told my parents and they signed me up for therapy (with my consent and I wanted to myself). So I talked to my docter, they made sure I was put on a waiting list. But considering my depressive episodes and panic attacks were not healthy and I was harming myself, so I went to a therapist who wasn't really a therapist but more of someone you can talk to, I have been going to that person and then after a month, the waiting list was cut short because there was someone not coming, so I could come instead. Firstly I had an intake with my psychologist, later with her colleague, and then there was an appointment with my parents aswell, about how they preserved my symptoms etc. (Keep in mind, this was still for my depressive thoughts etc.) and then we talked about my childhood etc and there were a lot of autistic traits brought up, and that let my psychologist start an test, that test lasted for a month and a week, so it's been pretty fast. On October 22nd my parents had the first appointment and they needed to fill in a bunch of questions etc. A week later I did the same questions without my parents, then again a week later I had to do an intelligence test, a week after that I needed to to a test for my executive functions then another week went by and my parents and I were asked questions about how my childhood was, complications with pregnancies/birth and an ASD interview (basically going by the DSM-5 of autism) and then today I had my advice appointment with my parents and I was diagnosed with autism. ALSO: This was my first time going to a therapist, so it is really fast that I got my diagnosis. This might also be good to know, I am Dutch so this was all done in the Netherlands, so things could be different in other countries. I hope this could help people a lot. Thank you for reading!
It is like you are reading transcripts of my rants regarding doctor appointments. The answer is always a drug that "should" work. Current science disproves effectiveness of every medication ever prescribed to me. TH-cam videos on "Brain spotting" and eye movement therapy have helped immensely.
does anyone have any tips on aac / sign language? I am not nonverbal nor am I semi-verbal but I often have difficulty speaking when I have a meltdown / shutdown but as my last attempt to mask (as I have these mostly at school and I dont want anyone to notice) I still talk and it often worsens the meltdown. I want to use aac or sign language but I don't know how
My advice would be find what works for you. For example, when you are in a meltdown/shutdown are you still able to read/write? If so, there are various text-to-speech apps where you type and it speaks it. If not, there are apps with pictures or symbols instead (you can search for AAC app and find one that you like the look of, some are free, some cost). If technology isn't a good option for you, you can create communication cards. Again these could just have words on or could have pictures as well. And you'd want them to include the things you most often want to say in these situations. So you could have a yes and no, help, "it's too loud", "can I have a drink" etc. whatever you would want to say. In terms of sign language, this is trickier because it relies on the other person also knowing sign language. However, if this is an option you want to use, I would again suggest making a list of the things you're most likely to want to say in these situations, then google how to say those specific things in your country's sign language OR if it is just for communication between you and a friend, you could even make up your own signs that work for you. Unless you have a particular interest in learning sign language in general, if it is just to help in meltdowns/shutdowns you don't need to learn whole lists of vocab, just your most common words and phrases for you in a meltdown. Hope that helps.
Seeing you mask this hard and in soo much pain just makes me want to hug you. I know, however, that you wouldn’t like that so even if I ran into you I wouldn’t do that. That being said, virtual hug coming your way. Big, deep pressure, hug!! Girl you definitely hit me in my feels. I’ve been where you are. Keep going sista. It gets better I swear!!
The way you describe yourself starting around minute 20 describes me so well. It is so nice to see someone else out there that I can relate to so much, so thank you! I will start ADHD stimulant medication today finally after trying multiple non-stimulants and hope you get appropriate treatment for your ADHD. I also want to thank you for promoting / explaining use of an AAC device. My 5 year old son started using one in ST a couple months ago after he was referred back to speech therapy after he previously did not make any speech progress at ages 3-4. I can thank his speech therapist, AAC device, and his autism preschool (which includes ST, OT, and adaptive PE) for him becoming so much more verbal since September! He says new words nearly every day. He will receive a new AAC device at school shortly thanks to his ST working with the school to get it :)
I have only noticed myself go non-verbal, like once or twice. However, I took two semesters of ASL as my "foreign" language in college. So I love to sign more often than I like to talk, but only a few people can sign with me. Neither of my parents can, but my sister can sign. I don't talk much most of the time, so it's hard to tell if I'm not talking because I'm overwhelmed or I'm just not talking (and I'm possibly overwhelmed).
If a child asked you, "What is autism? What does it mean if someone is autistic?" how would you explain it in the simplest of terms? I had a small child ask me that the other day, because I was reading a book about autism(my sixteen year old daughter was recently diagnosed). And I had a hard time knowing how best to answer his question without giving him too much information and overwhelming him.
for myself, I’d probably keep it simple with there’s lots of different ways brains work, autism is one of them. everyone autistic is different just like everyone without autism then maybe list a couple symptoms??
That feeling you just described when talking about your ADHD is exactly what I'm going through right now. And, like you, my doctor doesn't want to treat my ADHD. I'm fucking pissed. Hope you get your treatment as soon as you can. I was diagnosed two months ago and I'm still struggling trying to get proper treatment. =/
I’m a Virgo moon too and love learning also!! *happy stims* 🥰 (it’s making me so happy that the more you share and the more of your content I watch, I just feel more and more understood and seen finally)
"Gender is a social construct", "pink is an 8 yo girl". I get that one of the ways the neurodivergence in autistic people is manifested in "not being good at reading facial expressions, body language etc". But maybe it is that same thing that makes you and others not "get" gender in an abstract and intuitive way. Society and other people register differently through your own neurodivergent filter. And maybe things like associating pink to an 8 yo little girl is your own way of establishing "gender guidelines", so to speak. I had this class during my art studies in uni where we would make those kinds of associations as well! Like, a navy blue is serious and masculine, yellow is happy etc. Granted we were all creative but I think it is a societal thing that makes us do those associations. It's almost like a form of visual archetypes, all in the name of graphic design, where we must master the visual communications "codes" we use in our society. So, point is, maybe you just communicate gender visually. You get it when it is in reference to something, in this case, the color pink! To be clear, I'm not saying it's "wrong" to be genderless or whatever. I'm just saying that it might register differently in yours and others particular manifestation of neurodivergence.
So I don't know if you know this term, but look up synesthesia, it is basically when two senses mix, so you might see sound, or taste words, or feel colors etc. It sounds exactly like what you were describing.
When I was diagnosed I hyperfocused so hard in autism I spent hours researching and watching videos bc I was finally understanding myself.
Same
Same
@@RachelnL9496 came here to say this
Same:)
That’s what i’m doing right now haha
“my gender is: no” is so relatable tbh
Agreed.
reminds me of "my name is: no, my sign is: no"
same, i 100% relate to her when she said how gender is a social construct and gender roles are outdated and ridiculous. i’m not following that shit lol
her whole gender section of the video was so relatable 🥲
This is exactly how I communicate my gender/sex. Love hearing someone else saying it.
I know I have XX chromosomes (one of my autistic specialities is knowing Things about my body. "Please Bill Gates use your microchips on me so we get to know everything about me!") But that's it. XX says nothing about me.
"Too many thoughts, can't do anything," is the most ADHD thing I have ever heard. The way I describe it is, "I have so many things to do that I spend my time thinking about them and then forget to start doing them, and then mentally punish myself for not starting them, and that ends up being bad because by the time I'm done with punishing myself another hour has passed and I still haven't started."
I feel this. So much. I hope your doing well and being kind to yourself. 💕
That's me in a nutshell.
This! It’s hard to put what I am feeling/ experiencing into words. But this is how I feel.
@@maiahN Awe. Thank you so much!
soooo true!!
You’re seriously doing such a great job advocating for yourself. I relate so much to your struggle getting doctors to listen to about “depression is a symptom” of untreated ADHD. Keep going Paige!
100% agreed! Being able to self-advocate helps a lot, it's a shame how necessary it is though.
A true advocate for the disorder would be one looking for ways to cure/prevent it. As someonev that lives with high functioning autism I find it nothing short of sick and disgusting how so much of the community is against looking for ways to at least prevent it if not cure it.
All people like Paige are doing is holding back human development from advancing.
@@beanwithbacon It is really tragic that anyone thinks autism or neurodiversity should be “cured” or prevented. The people who need to be cured and completely prevented from existing are the people who make ND people feel broken and useless. We wouldn’t have inventors and engineers without autism and ADHD.
The advancement of the human race, the next level of evolution, is to stop hating and hiding the most creative and innovative members of our world.
@@shewho333 Hey fuck you for saying I need to be prevented for wanting peoplev to have better more fulfilling lives. I'm Asperger's and severe OCD and would do ANYTHING for a cure...
@@beanwithbacon Why is autism bad though
Why would you wanna cure/prevent autism.. Neuro-divergency is unpreventable and just the way people's minds are wired. Autism isn't some sick disease it's just a difference.. I don't get what you mean..
Sorry.
You have just described my exact feelings about gender! I always think of my gender as 'female by default' because it's not wrong exactly, it just doesn't mean anything (to me). My gender is 'no'. Love it, thank you.
I’m very much alike. I identify as agender; A person without gender. I just don’t understand what makes people feel like women, men, etc. I don’t feel like a woman or man or something in between. I just don’t get gender, which I would guess is why I also don’t really feel like I have one.
Yeah I don't get gender either. I think the body is just the body I don't understand the connotations that certain bodies have personality traits or feelings associated with them.
i feel very woman and also young girl but i also feel very boy. but not man. idk how to explain that. i wrote that from the heart 😂
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being real. I'm 32 (just diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and Excutive Dysfunction[on top of the other 8 rare diseases I've known]) and this week I finally decided to stop hiding my feelings, thoughts, and stims. No more hiding who I really am, because I am awesome.... and you (as well as my kick ass therapist) were a huge part in me stepping out.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Paige.
P.s. if you need space and time to get to a happy/safe place... DO IT!!! If you would tell us to do it, do it without any guilt.
So glad you also realise how awesome you are. I appreciate your positive message. Thank you.
I’m also 32
"You can do the gender so hard if you want to"
This just fully made my day
"No one cares if you're an autistic adult, if you're gonna find any autism stuff it's all for children "
The painful truth 💔
Technically I can't even say I'm autistic (although I genuinely feel I am) because I can't afford a diagnosis(asd assessments aren't covered if you're an adult in Canada. You gotta pay out of pocket.
self diagnoses are vaild❤️
@@frxie No, they aren't...
@@beanwithbacon yes it is! Autism diagnosis can be hard to get. Whether it’s about money (like this person) As long as you do lots of research, it’s valid. Not everyone has privilege to get a diagnosis.
@@youtubwatcher No, no it's not. What happens if you claim such is we get a bunch of people demanding privileges for something they don't actually have. I'm saying this as someone that was diagnosed with Asperger's at 15.
@@youtubwatcher I agree the mental health system needs to be far better than it currently is in terms of being able to offer help to those in need but if we start allowing people to just say "I'm this or I'm that" it will just make it harder for those that actually suffer from disorders/defects to gain access to the help they legitimately need.
“If I don’t plan out my day I will do nothing because there is just too much to do“. This is exactly how I feel. I am so thankful for social media like TH-cam and Tic tok. I can finally put words to how I’m feeling. I can look for a diagnosis. Thank you 💜
Your rant at the beginning about your doctor prioritizing treating your depression over autism/ADHD really struck home for me honestly. I have fairly moderate Tourette's syndrome, and for my entire life my main doctor has prioritized dealing with that over my ADHD, let alone even caring to check me for autism.
I was originally put on non-stimulant ADHD medication (after I was screened for it by a therapist, not the doctor btw) because she was worried about my Tourette's possibly maybe getting worse on stimulants. That medication completely fucked me up for about a month, I was sleeping for probably 15+ hours every day on school weeks, I fell asleep in class once...and it did fuckall for my ADHD (and funnily enough that same medication was one they tried to force me on when I was first diagnosed with Tourettes to try to "treat" it, I only took it for a few days then dropped it bc I didn't care, but ever since I got re-prescribed a medication I'd already been on I lost permanent trust with that doctor). Best thing is, I'm on a stimulant now, not only has it helped me manage my ADHD, but now that I'm improving in my ability to get myself in order, I have more energy to manage my Tourette's than I did before.
Now that I know I'm autistic, from seeing another doctor entirely, I feel like a lot of my tics tend to also overlap with stims. I have multiple things that I do both as stims and as tics. I have a small feeling that that overlap (which is extremely common btw) could contribute to how my autism was missed so easily. ALL of this was also happening when i was telling my doctor very directly that my Tourette's isn't even my highest priority for things about myself that bother me. My tics are a nusiance sometimes, some days more than others, but like...they don't hurt me, and I can manage them decently well in my life now when I need to. It is much more exhausting for me to make any attempt at masking than to suppress my tics.
what you’re describing IS a type of synesthesia!! ordinal linguistic synesthesia is when you associate numbers, letters, colors, and/or days of the week etc with genders and/or personalities
Or French language but for this context, yes, it is a type of synesthesia
I have that!! I didn't know there was a name for it so thanks!
I've always said before "this tastes the way this other thing smells" and everyone thinks I'm crazy
this. purple freezies taste the way nail polish remover smells
Yesssss and I can’t eat certain things because of this!!
Omg same!
Same for me! Ripe bananas taste like nail polish smells. Also, certain things smell like how gold looks... if that makes sense lol
Baked brie is really good. But plain unbaked brie tastes the way a moldy room smells to me
if u had an entire video dedicated to talking abt (ur) gender n how gender is different for neurodivergent pl, but specifically autistic ppl compared to neurotypical ppl, i would definitely watch
+
Yeah, neurodivergent people have different body parts than the Normies
indeed a certain body part of autistkc people is a bit different than the norm that bofy part is the brain in transgender people the brain is also a bit different than what is typical for people with their type of genitalia and instead more similar to the brains of people with another type of genitalia, or sometimes something in between or even beyond what is found in most other humans.
I am currently experiencing a weird phenomenon where I feel like you and me are close friends instead of a content producer and an audience member because this video feels like a conversation and you get me on such a deep level (without knowing me). Anyway, thank you so much for making and publishing these and sharing yourself so authentically! It's great.
That's called a parasocial relationship, I think(?). They can be healthy and good so no worries unless you were to notice it affects you negatively in some way. :D
I think that maybe most people experiences them nowadays (not in the same ways though) 🤔
@@queenseby For now I am just happy because it feels great and comforting. I studied Communication Science, so I should know more about parasocial relationships, but I don't remember whether this applies and a confusion with a regular social relationship is included there. Probably 🤔
@@JuMixBoox That's awesome!!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling depressed, Paige. I’m super sad too. Autistic w/ADHD too. I’m also looking into PMDD. Still figuring meds out because some just make my thoughts more and faster w/little help on my exec functioning (or directing my exec functioning). Hope I can figure it out soon too. I don’t know how to not be sad in this world that doesn’t understand us and actively harms us. Know you are not alone and many of us relate. I really hope this new doc helps you!
I loved when you said the majority of people out there don't respect other people's boundaries. I'm in my late 30's and in my experience it's absolutely true! Or they give lipservice to the idea that boundaries are good and should be honored, but they value-judge other people's boundaries and decide not to honor the boundaries they consider "abnormal."
So true.
Gosh I hate this so much I’m trying to figure out a way to stand up for my being but it’s like Social ConsTrUcT😁no 🚫🤍🤍
Yo I’m not even three minutes in yet but this “please treat my executive dysfunction so I can be a human who accomplishes things and then I’ll be less anxious and sad about not doing the things” is SO. REAL.
Thank you for being as authentic as possible in front of a camera 😩 it's legit comforting just to see you vibing on the same wavelength
Hi Paige, you mentioned not seeing anyone for therapy who specializes in autism. I am also in Ontario, and am autistic (recently diagnosed). I am currently enrolled in therapy with the ADHD & Spectrum Centre, which is unique as they only hire neurodivergent people. You don't need to be nearby, everything can be done remotely. My experience has been great so I just thought I'd tell you about them in case you might be interested in checking it out! Just a warning though that it might not be covered by insurance.
Thank you for the tip! I'm in Northern Ontario...we have the highest autism prevalence AND the fewest supports (hooray!).
Thank you so much for making these videos!
The part about how autism affects relationships really hit me. I am 38 & have a lot of mental health “issues” that really seem to relate to potentially being autistic. The more I think back on my childhood and learn more about autistic women and girls the more I feel like I am undiagnosed autistic.
Literally, every single thing you mentioned about how being autistic affects your relationships was something that I do.
Thank you so much for sharing! You are amazing & so helpful.
can relate to the gender part! that's why agender fits me the best, but labels are not that important to me either
samee, but i suspect that im autistic and i identify as agender:))
@@sofiapascua937 autistic here too :)
Same.
3:14 yooo im dead💀
Good to see im not the only one who just randomly starts talking in a British accent despite not being British
"If I don't plan my day nothing will happen" YES I scream, as I've been accidentally planning my day for 2 hours.
Hey paige I have a question, I am also autistic but idk about this, when I look at lights at night or during the day I can see lens flares, do you know why this is, like I can see really stretched out red lines from the back of cars at night. I'm 15 btw.
I have this too, for me it's because of astigmatism (unrelated to autism as far as I know, it has to do with your vision and the curvature of your eyes)
I do too and I read that it could be a difference in how your eyes are shaped? Like an astigmatism (thank god for autocorrect!) or something
I'm 16, autistic and have a mild astigmatism and double vision (if this is relevant info!)
Astigmatism? I think I read something about that doing this.
I doubt this is related to autism/neurodivergence
i get this too, i don't think i have autism but i do have adhd
hi paige i don’t expect anything from you than to just do your best. i love you and want you to b healthy & alive. thank you for existing
Thank you for doing what you do Paige, always remember you can take a breather anytime you need to. We will be here when you come back! ❤️
I’m so happy you uploaded!
I am an autistic man and a different question came up on one of my first dates. My date wanted s3x on the first date and I didn't want to have s3x with her, so she became really ratty and behaved as though I owed her something. When we discussed meeting again she snapped "and you can take me out" alluding to the fact that she had had to transport me to the first date and that she had to be more accommodating than she would with an average man. Then she wouldn't let go of the attitude that I had cheated her out of something by refusing s3x even though we didn't go on a second date. Clearly she thought that she was owed more from the first date because she had to be really accommodating by driving me and agreeing to a venue that wouldn't overwhelm me. Is that kind of attitude justified? What does everyone think? Neurotypical people in particular, please answer.
I'm also autistic but this woman sounds quite literally like a female version of that guy who buys you flowers and expects sex because of that. Toxic as hell if you ask me. But again, I'm autistic, so this question probably wasn't for me.
I have a family member who was like this. They expect something out of me, when clearly I can’t Litterally do it.
No I don’t think this attitude is completely justified -to be honest if I was in that situation and my partner would not listen. I would ask them, why are they reacting like this?
to me I see it like this
As a child- something may have triggered her, and so she adjusted as seeing- that when things don’t “go her way” she may see it as an attack towards her… either way if you explain It is nothing against her -she probabaly will not understand and if they do that’s great but in order for them to understand… they have to be able to change .. and if they don’t your energy can be easily sort of -welll taken
so Maybe examine why you are dating this human being ? idk
I don’t really understand dating … if a person doesn’t respect my boundaries BYE 🤍Because you are worth so much because you simply exist maybe this question is not for me but again, if this answer resonates with you then it does and no then no 🤍good luck
i believe whole heartedly that autism instincts are real i may not know social cues but i have a good sense of people's intentions
Fr I be looking too much into it even sometimes I think 😂
bookmarking 1:40 for myself because you summed up the strugle with adhd and depression ALL too well
Your outfit is perfect🥺
That last question was pretty interesting my son is autistic and he mentioned mentioned the other day when he was having pain that the pain felt pink. Not exactly the same but seems similar maybe
You're such a good role model and you're someone I look up to.
Also, when you were talking about seven being a hockey player that sounds a lot like something ordinal linguistic personification synesthesia I’m pretty sure it’s called where people see numbers as having different personalities and it’s also related to synesthesia which is where people see colors when the hear certain sounds, ET see. It’s basically like the mixing of the senses
i haven’t gotten to that part yet but 7 being a hockey player feels vehemently wrong lolol. 7 is clearly a seductive woman 😅
I love your hair SO MUCH im constantly just watching your hair and be like I WANT IT
Oh my gosh the gender talk was amazing and you definitely shared that so well. It's so cool to hear others talk about their own experiences and feelings regarding that, and I loved every moment of it. For sure related to the ant picnic thing lmaooo
There is way too much misunderstanding and stigma against Autism. I have to do a PowerPoint for my Neuroscience class and we got to choose from 3 topics offered to us. I chose the topic The role of mirror neurons in social referencing and understanding empathy in Autism. It had been so hard to find peer reviewed good resources to use to talk about this very specific topic that is not negative. I feel like most stuff I see is almost an attack on Autistic people and so misunderstanding from the reality. I am trying to only reflect Autism in a more realistic and somewhat positive light. Science and Medicine needs to do better overall.
I'm sorry that you feel sad but thank you for sharing. I am pretty sure I have autism, and everyone who knows me (mom, past boyfriend's, friends, EVERYONE) say the same when I say I think have autism, "that makes sense". And they say it in such an ordinary way, like the entire world knows and can see it but no one bothered telling me. I'm 38, so it's not like I can get diagnosed or treated. The way you describe "all the thoughts" had me in tears because I'm like that's me! I've been in and out of therapy, with about 10 diagnoses now and ALL of them can be wrapped up into autism. When I'm told to "just stop ruminating" it's infuriating because I can't. The gender issue has always been a thing. I present feminine for the most part but I have a healthy dose of masculinity too. Inside I feel really balanced between woman and man but I don't know how to express it in a way others understand, but also others understanding me has never really been a goal. It's weird that you said you'll get through burnout faster if you'll just be your fantastic autistic self. I had this a-ha moment earlier this week. After work I went to a trailhead, changed into MY clothes (out of work clothes but those clothes are mine too) and went out into my "adult playground". While I was hiking, I realized that when I don't have mask, my depression goes away faster. When others ask what I need, I don't always know. Like if I'm melting down, all i know is that being held, preferably in a tight hug. But others see me as angry and get scared when I'm melting down and often leave me alone which makes me feel abandoned and hollow inside. I can't keep a relationship because men don't know "how to deal with me". I'd like to try dating women but I don't know how. Dating is scary because of the boundary issues.
I relate to what you say about gender.
Oh my. I just thought I have adhd but the way you just put this into words feels exactly like me....especially when I’m melting down and need a hug.
My child is presenting w similar things. Now I know what’s been going on with me. Thanks for posting this and you are not alone. God bless xo
wow. your depression adhd rant is literally me too!!
I totally agree with your point about providing AAC for non-verbal people to be able to communicate. However I think it's important to remember that some individuals, especially those with comorbid learning difficulties, can find AAC difficult to access too. I work with a 13 year old who is autistic with a severe learning disability, and we have been working on finding appropriate AAC for her for years but we have not had much luck with any of it. We have tried Makaton signing, adapted signing, PECS, picture cards (both photos and symbols), communication boards, AAC apps, eye gaze. We rely a lot on her body language, what she goes towards and her happy noises/crying to communicate things but this does not help with more complex things - e.g. sometimes she is upset and we have no idea why. We keep persevering and giving her opportunities to use AAC but it's not always as simple as that.
my dog also created this habit of feeling the need to dominate other dogs and growl at them - this is because they feel the need to protect you. what our dog trainer told us to do, was to wait until he wants to jump on the other dog and break his action by grabbing his dog collar by pulling him to your direction (of course without hurting him or her, you just want to scare the dog) whilst screaming no and stamping on the ground to show that you are the ‚leader‘ basically. sounds weird but it really worked wonders! our dog got the scare of his life haha but he never really tried to act out on another dog like that again and if he does, just shout no at him once more.
This might be the most important video on autism I've seen. Thank you for not masking.
Hi, I am a Virgo moon too and I definitely pick up on this familiar vibe in you! Maybe that's why I relate to you so much! 🤗
THE Chillest person I know! No Cap!
I'm very excited you made a new video. I know it takes a lot of energy and time to make these. Thank you! I need this content as someone who just figured out I'm AA (I'm a 33 year old afab person and I'm in deep emotional burnout).
I love you paige. Does anyone else have no idea how to deal with uni being asd and adhd af???
I had to drop out, but many people have gotten through it.
@@Catlily5 well done for being brave enough, I am trying to figure out if I should do that
@@matilda000dunlop I wasn't brave. I didn't have much choice.
I’m still in a university but I’m taking 3 courses a semester instead of the ideal 4, which can still be pretty hard when you have ADHD and have been a hardcore procrastinator all your life. I was supposed to graduate this coming winter but it may be looking more like next year. As for how I deal with it… meds. Particularly Concerta. It’s been very helpful with my ADHD. In fact, when I saw Paige’s rant in this video it felt about 90% accurate in describing how I feel when not on Concerta. Hopefully Paige can get the same treatment. I feel like it would help her so much, and she deserves it.
@@thetonytaye Slower is still going where you want to!
MY GENDER IS NO! THIS EXACTLY 👏😭
i absolutely love your views on gender
Hi Paige! I think you should start a podcast because everything you comment on is always very interesting. Pd: You have helped me understand myself better, so thank you :)
Awwww I'm a Virgo moon as well! ♡♡ avid learner over here too ♡♡ love you, Paige! Thank you for doing this work
For the nonverbal answer: what is the term you used? It sounded like AC but I couldn’t quite understand. Thank you!
AAC - Augmentative and alternative communication
I've been watching your videos, they've been so helpful. I appreciate you, also you have the kindest and the most stunningly beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I can tell there's so much going on inside your brain and I feel it in my bones.
I am going into psychology specifically so I can help autistic adults. The way we simply don’t exist to people is so sad I’m gonna try and help that especially when it comes to burn out and stuff like that
thank you for talking about being sad!!
I feel you, I was treated for Depression for 20 years, this year I started Adderall XR (generic Amphetamine Aspartate Monohydrate) I take 40mg a day, but might be moving to 60mg a day.
This has changed my life, although I had emotional instability for the first 6 weeks, I am now so much more calm on Adderall. Calm. I don't know how to explain it any better. Peace. Calm. Serene.
I have been able to focus and complete a 10 page essay, I feel like I have control over my brain for the first time in my life.
27:33 yup, me too.
In my language, gender and sex are kind of... the same thing? One word (pol) is used to describe both things. Regardless, I remember hearing the word 'gender' for the first time when I was 6 and started learning English, and I remember being like... "what?"
I'm 21 now. Nothing has changed. I still look at the concept of gender somewhat quizzically. Like... why do I have to dress a certain way or behave a certain way or talk a certain way just because of what my sex happens to be?? Kinda dumb, Society. Kinda dumb.
having to dress/act/talk etc. a certain way would be gender roles/expectations, i.e. what we expect from certain genders (or in some cases sex in societies which don't recognise a distinction).
Even without gender roles/expectation, there is still gender in other forms.
Gender identity is how people experience their own gender. Brains develop at a different prenatal stage than other parts of the body, and in some cases this can result in the brain developing in a "masculine" way when the body has developed in a "feminine" way, or vice versa, or the brain only developing in a "masculine" way for some parts whilst other parts have remained "feminine" (the "feminine" brain is the default and the presence of testoserone at certain times during development can change it to more "masculine"), or develop parts of the brain only somehwta but not fully "masculine" (if some testosterone is present at the right time, but not enough for complete masculine development for that part of the brain).
Then people whose brain is different frome what is typical for their body can start to feel like they identify better with people with different bodies, or fall more in the middle or even feel like an outsider to this whole gender business.
Autism is also a way in which the brain is different, so this may also affect how autistic (and other neurodivergent) people experience gender and may more easily feel like an "outsider" because their brain is different in a whole other way that matches neither "masculine" nor "feminine" things.
On top of that, gener roles can complicate things more, because even when your gender does match, you may not care for the specific gendered societal expectations that are expected of you.
Gender also has a very cultural aspect. The Bugis people from South Sulawesi in Indonesia traditionally have 5 genders.
Oroané are similar to cisgender men, and makkunrai similar to cisgender women.
Calabai are people with "masculine" bodies who take on more "feminine" roles; unlike western trans women, they do still regard themselves as men but just with a more "feminine" role, and have their own type of "feminine" clothes distinct from the clothes of makkunrai (cis women) and often take central stage in wedding planning.
Calalai are people with "feminine" bodies who take on more traditionally "masculine" roles; they wear "masculine" clothes, have "masculine" jobs, and have "feminine" partners with who they have adopted children.
Bissu are people who embody the balance of the genders, these are people who are androgynous and often (but not always) have ambiguous genitalia. Traditionally they kept celibate and held highly importsnt ritualistic/religious functions and were considered to be sort of gateways between humans and gods.
Also, the Calabai, Calalai, and Bissu can go to both the "men's only" and "women's only" (parts of the) villages
you have helped my adult daughter with autism. thanks for helping me to better communicate with her. God bless you and your videos. keep up the great work
I understand about the service dog. I have a similar experience
Sounds and smells make me feel different things and I have memories attached to many sounds, smells, and songs
this was a really great video! I especially loved and related to the part about wishing someone else would research on there own time, and hating when people ask you what you need because I have no idea! and I wish I didn't have to spend the mental energy explaining everything to everyone just to advocate for myself
yup. yup. and yup.
i've done the same rage rant many times.
i feel you paige.
First off love your head scarf and I feel that mental health struggle so I hope you begin to do better mental health wise
hey friend when i was suffering with my mental health I'd read lots of people being like 'i love you, you are loved' and it felt so impersonal, they don't know me atall. but im proud of myself, and im glad im still here, i bet you will be too
I absolutely love your attitude toward sex and gender. I feel exactly the same way! I was cracking up when you kept repeating “My gender is No.”
Anyhow that came off way more cringe than I wanted it to but I’m used to that because I’m pretty sure I’m autistic! Yay!!! I can’t find anyone to assess me! Also yay!
Oh, I remembered my point. No, I forgot. Oh! It wasn’t really a point. I was just going to say something about how I’m male presenting and AMAB but feel like MY gender is No also, and I wasn’t sure if I was just being an impostor. So thanks for sharing.
🎼🎵This is the end of the comment song. It’s real cringe that’s how you know it’s sonoftorin…gottagonowbye🎶
Hi, Berry diagnosed later in life. To the person(s) seeking diagnoses later in life I would say the most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Getting a diagnoses can be hard and for some totally unobtainable due to costs or large waiting lists. Within the communities most won't question you when you say you are self diagnosed. This is mostly due to the fact that a lot of us do a ton of research before reaching the conclusion of having autism. Before I got a professional diagnoses I had researched it for months. I only got the diagnoses to get access to resources. A lot of us oldies hang out here and on other channels, like at Woodshed Theory run by Claire, or Orion Kelly -That autistic guy- ran by you guessed it Orion. There are also several discussion groups(Facebook, Discord and online forums). You can't know unless you ask and there will always be someone who answers in my experience.
As of writing this, I was diagnosed with autism today. (At the age of 15) So my testing period is fresh in my mind so let's break it down for people who want to get tested or are currently in that process.
TW // Mention of depressive episodes, panic attacks and SH.
Okay, firstly I was struggling with depressive episodes and panic attacks, so I finally told my parents and they signed me up for therapy (with my consent and I wanted to myself). So I talked to my docter, they made sure I was put on a waiting list. But considering my depressive episodes and panic attacks were not healthy and I was harming myself, so I went to a therapist who wasn't really a therapist but more of someone you can talk to, I have been going to that person and then after a month, the waiting list was cut short because there was someone not coming, so I could come instead. Firstly I had an intake with my psychologist, later with her colleague, and then there was an appointment with my parents aswell, about how they preserved my symptoms etc. (Keep in mind, this was still for my depressive thoughts etc.) and then we talked about my childhood etc and there were a lot of autistic traits brought up, and that let my psychologist start an test, that test lasted for a month and a week, so it's been pretty fast. On October 22nd my parents had the first appointment and they needed to fill in a bunch of questions etc. A week later I did the same questions without my parents, then again a week later I had to do an intelligence test, a week after that I needed to to a test for my executive functions then another week went by and my parents and I were asked questions about how my childhood was, complications with pregnancies/birth and an ASD interview (basically going by the DSM-5 of autism) and then today I had my advice appointment with my parents and I was diagnosed with autism.
ALSO: This was my first time going to a therapist, so it is really fast that I got my diagnosis. This might also be good to know, I am Dutch so this was all done in the Netherlands, so things could be different in other countries.
I hope this could help people a lot. Thank you for reading!
Been on ADHD meds for 10 years. They've completely changed my life for the better.
you should make a whole video about gender. :) if you want!
Please make more videos about your House, how the decorating process is doing
I am always appreciative of your HONESTY
It is like you are reading transcripts of my rants regarding doctor appointments.
The answer is always a drug that "should" work. Current science disproves effectiveness of every medication ever prescribed to me.
TH-cam videos on "Brain spotting" and eye movement therapy have helped immensely.
does anyone have any tips on aac / sign language? I am not nonverbal nor am I semi-verbal but I often have difficulty speaking when I have a meltdown / shutdown but as my last attempt to mask (as I have these mostly at school and I dont want anyone to notice) I still talk and it often worsens the meltdown. I want to use aac or sign language but I don't know how
My advice would be find what works for you. For example, when you are in a meltdown/shutdown are you still able to read/write? If so, there are various text-to-speech apps where you type and it speaks it. If not, there are apps with pictures or symbols instead (you can search for AAC app and find one that you like the look of, some are free, some cost). If technology isn't a good option for you, you can create communication cards. Again these could just have words on or could have pictures as well. And you'd want them to include the things you most often want to say in these situations. So you could have a yes and no, help, "it's too loud", "can I have a drink" etc. whatever you would want to say. In terms of sign language, this is trickier because it relies on the other person also knowing sign language. However, if this is an option you want to use, I would again suggest making a list of the things you're most likely to want to say in these situations, then google how to say those specific things in your country's sign language OR if it is just for communication between you and a friend, you could even make up your own signs that work for you. Unless you have a particular interest in learning sign language in general, if it is just to help in meltdowns/shutdowns you don't need to learn whole lists of vocab, just your most common words and phrases for you in a meltdown. Hope that helps.
@@avajackson7683 thank you so so much!!
Seeing you mask this hard and in soo much pain just makes me want to hug you. I know, however, that you wouldn’t like that so even if I ran into you I wouldn’t do that. That being said, virtual hug coming your way. Big, deep pressure, hug!! Girl you definitely hit me in my feels. I’ve been where you are. Keep going sista. It gets better I swear!!
You answered my question. I'm happy/excited hand-flapping! 😊 thanks
The way you describe yourself starting around minute 20 describes me so well. It is so nice to see someone else out there that I can relate to so much, so thank you! I will start ADHD stimulant medication today finally after trying multiple non-stimulants and hope you get appropriate treatment for your ADHD. I also want to thank you for promoting / explaining use of an AAC device. My 5 year old son started using one in ST a couple months ago after he was referred back to speech therapy after he previously did not make any speech progress at ages 3-4. I can thank his speech therapist, AAC device, and his autism preschool (which includes ST, OT, and adaptive PE) for him becoming so much more verbal since September! He says new words nearly every day. He will receive a new AAC device at school shortly thanks to his ST working with the school to get it :)
Binge watched your videos for the past day and I love you sm
I have only noticed myself go non-verbal, like once or twice. However, I took two semesters of ASL as my "foreign" language in college. So I love to sign more often than I like to talk, but only a few people can sign with me. Neither of my parents can, but my sister can sign. I don't talk much most of the time, so it's hard to tell if I'm not talking because I'm overwhelmed or I'm just not talking (and I'm possibly overwhelmed).
Wow you are so smart. You know it. Just tell them over and over again. Sometime it’s hard to convince your Dr that you truly know your self best.
Take good care of yourself Paige 🌈
hate that no one talks about chronic fatigue and adhd, adhd meds saved my life - sending love 🤍
yesss 👏
If a child asked you, "What is autism? What does it mean if someone is autistic?" how would you explain it in the simplest of terms? I had a small child ask me that the other day, because I was reading a book about autism(my sixteen year old daughter was recently diagnosed). And I had a hard time knowing how best to answer his question without giving him too much information and overwhelming him.
for myself, I’d probably keep it simple with there’s lots of different ways brains work, autism is one of them. everyone autistic is different just like everyone without autism then maybe list a couple symptoms??
your a legend, so open and honest. thank you take care .
Thank you so much for your posts! I totally get you, I have a lot of the same thoughts and issues.
I got super lucky finding a therapist specialized in autism in adults and we even have group therapy.
Thanks you Paige for what you're doing! God bless you!
you're incredible paige!! love your videos :)
Bow ties are cool!
I love how she was like "I do a lot of associations" and then basically describes synesthesia perfectly hahaha
I know that I'm not doing the best when I start referring to myself in the 3rd person.....girl, same!!!
these insights are invaluable, Thank you :)
paige layle gender confirmed: the ant that crashed the picnic
That feeling you just described when talking about your ADHD is exactly what I'm going through right now. And, like you, my doctor doesn't want to treat my ADHD. I'm fucking pissed.
Hope you get your treatment as soon as you can. I was diagnosed two months ago and I'm still struggling trying to get proper treatment. =/
I hope you’re feeling better. Thanks for another great video. 🙏🏽
What is your Best advice for someone who just got diagnosed with autism? I'm 22 and I got diagnosed a week ago
I’m a Virgo moon too and love learning also!! *happy stims* 🥰 (it’s making me so happy that the more you share and the more of your content I watch, I just feel more and more understood and seen finally)
I’m on adhd meds and my executive dysfunction is still SO BAD so I think I might talk to my doctor about trying a different med
"Gender is a social construct", "pink is an 8 yo girl". I get that one of the ways the neurodivergence in autistic people is manifested in "not being good at reading facial expressions, body language etc". But maybe it is that same thing that makes you and others not "get" gender in an abstract and intuitive way. Society and other people register differently through your own neurodivergent filter. And maybe things like associating pink to an 8 yo little girl is your own way of establishing "gender guidelines", so to speak.
I had this class during my art studies in uni where we would make those kinds of associations as well! Like, a navy blue is serious and masculine, yellow is happy etc. Granted we were all creative but I think it is a societal thing that makes us do those associations. It's almost like a form of visual archetypes, all in the name of graphic design, where we must master the visual communications "codes" we use in our society.
So, point is, maybe you just communicate gender visually. You get it when it is in reference to something, in this case, the color pink!
To be clear, I'm not saying it's "wrong" to be genderless or whatever. I'm just saying that it might register differently in yours and others particular manifestation of neurodivergence.
Relating to the executive dysfunction bit so hard rn
So I don't know if you know this term, but look up synesthesia, it is basically when two senses mix, so you might see sound, or taste words, or feel colors etc. It sounds exactly like what you were describing.
i resonated with a lot of stuff you said, thank you !!