I tried tooting my horn about a similar relationship not exactly the same but very similar rushing never helps anyone life has to be planned and thought out but often times it's not...
By the end of the episode Matt genuinely seemed so receptive. It totally makes sense for them to get sober individually first and I wish them the best!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt that way. Despite the inauspicious circumstances, I'm kind of rooting for them. I do hope they took his advice and gave it 90 days. I hope they have themselves and their relationship a real chance for success. I wish the both of them well.
That is wonderful. Congratulations, I'm proud of your hard work❤❤ My son just celebrated 2.5 years my son in law 19 months . Keep up the great work . Much ❤️
Every addict is different. Every HUMAN is different……in some way. The way we think, move, say, “feel” (active users do not “feel”; they can’t) so I’ll say our emotions, the way we live……each of our recoveries is different. God Bless you on your well-lit path, allow your faith and strength keep you on that path!!
11 years is amazing. And I believe you are right that it takes time to clear your head before you can start to recover. And to have two addicts together. Who are not in full recovery a long time can’t be healthy
This 30 year old woman with 2 kids... it's living with her 18 year old's husband parents? That's so gross. And when they first met he was 16, under the age of legal consent. Disgusting
I actually feel it the other way around. I think he is with her for her kids. He’s the one who looks like a weirdo and a predator to me not her. She’s just desperate.
The last couple, she has a teenager mentality with two kids and the guy is a teenager himself at 19. Hwr mental age seems to be even younger than his. I see chaos. God bless those children.
Jerry seems to either be on the spectrum or the most nervous person on the planet. His constant repetitive moment, the way he has to make eye contact by constantly staring rather than normally glancing away as most people do, how incredibly soft-spoken he is with very little emotion, inflection, etc., even when he should be angry, hurt, or upset... That could very well be why he thinks this...relationship...is a good idea.
Maybe they are both on the Autism Spectrum?....which means her children could be too...(I have studied a lot about ASD, and I have several friends on the Spectrum..some of them are couples, & have been married for over 40 years!). I think back to the 1930s & 40s...no-one would be questioning someone getting married at 19...and an eleven year age difference really isn't a big deal...I'm sure id they age difference was reversed..ie: the man was 30...I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid! Sometimes you just know when someone's the one, & if they ARE on the Autism Spectrum, they will need support , & understanding from the Parents anyway...throughout their whole life. Yes they need pre-marital counselling..but it seems they are both very committed to each other, and committed to making it work...that goes for both couples...I wish them all the very best. So glad Dr Phil is getting them support....but we could have done without the shaming comments!
The young lady looks like she used the day before coming to the show. Her eyes are swimming around in her head every time she blinks and she is blinking slowly.
She and Matt deserve each other. She’ll never listen to her parents and will be defiant all along. Let them get married because they’ll end up divorced and she will go back home.
Are you aware antidepressants and psychiatric drugs have the same affect on the eyes.Research Also psych drugs were originally made to control large animals...then they started on people ...disgusting
20:30 people don't realize that the age difference between 19 and 25 is not 6 years. They're worlds apart. You're a completely different person at 18 or 19 than 25 or even 21 years old!
Those poor kids with an incompetent mom I hope they do NOT get married!! Give the 19 year old time to go to college, do the bar thing with friends and let him grow up……. It’s infuriating that she is trying to trap this young man into this thing called a marriage.
I'd love to know what happened with these couples....especially the 2nd couple getting married in a week. No job, no driver's license, no home, and just graduating from high school...after dating a few weeks. INSANITY!
Absolute fools. Destined for exciting careers in the fast food industry! Whoop-dee-dooo! They both need marketable skills but it doesn't look like they have any interest, energy, determination to make something of themselves. PLAN FOR YOUR FUTURE!!! PLAN and put off marriage until you have all your ducks in a row. No way is this boy ready for marriage. He has no interest in what that entails. No self-awareness even. Both need to train in skills to make a living -- AC, plumbing, cosmetology, college, etc. Get those certificates and credentials. Put off marriage while you get your first job, gain experience and begin to work your way up to better and better jobs that pay more and more. Each of you bank $10k, have a paid off car even if it is a junker, have that job, stay substance free. I can see their home life becoming stressed virtually immediately, and someone will end up abusing someone else just because they have not planned one bit, no money coming in, welfare checks, no car, no license. You have to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN and put off marriage for a day when EACH of you can earn your own independent living. THEN if you still love one another join forces and marry. Otherwise you will absolutely fail and get divorced. Because you failed to get marital counseling, had no interest in understanding the other person, much less yourself, and failed to plan and prepare. Take it from me, married nearly 50 years. Marriage is HARD!! You need all the preparation you can GET!
I disagree. Some can achieve success in their relationships, as long as they are willing to stand on their own feet and be responsible for the process. ❤️ I know many who have done well together, and I have friends whom I met fairly recently, who have both just completed rehab separately. They were addicts together now they are clean and sober together and doing incredibly well. 😊 He's working hard as he's been out of rehab several weeks ahead of her, and she is also now in a very good place to get a job as well. I do agree though that it is a huge challenge, and probably rare rather than common, for these type of relationships to be truly authentic and successful. Part of the story is each being willing to follow rehab up with individual counselling to deal with the trauma that originally led to the addiction to begin with. This is necessary for any addict to be able to remain clean. ❤️ My friends are also committed to this process and I'm so proud of them. 🙆🏻♀️ 😊 🌿
What does a 30 year old want with with a 19 year old? Gross. I am in my 30s to me a 19 year old maybe a legal adult but I look at them as kids still. They can’t provide me with anything but drama and problems.
@@VijayaBjoshi my thought would still be the same. What does a men 10+ years older want with a 19 year old? When I was in my early 20s I dated a guy 11 years older I thought I was grown and mature, but I was being groomed and taken advantage of. Once you got 30 it’s fine to date someone 10+ years older. At that time you have had life experiences and are fully mature and won’t take BS like you would when you were younger
@@pinkpearlxPlease don't use the word groomed just because you think it's the hip new word to use. You were not groomed in your 20s to be with a guy in his 30s. You made a foolish choice to be with them, that's completely different. And while I certainly agree that the woman with 2 kids and her fiancee are both way too immature to even think about getting married, I completely disagree with your logic of 30+ year olds dating below 30 is gross. If you choose to look at 19 and 21 and 24 year olds and see children then that's not a problem with the 30 year old trying to date them, that's a problem with you
Jessica, you cannot fix anyone. When a person is newly in recovery that person should not ever start a relationship for atleast 1 to 2 years. Focus on recovery not a relationship.
I was on drugs for a few years, but when I met my husband I got clean. His love saved me. But he never new I has a history, so I never felt I had judgment or distrust. We had a great relationship but he passed away now. Its been 30+ years since we met. We had a family, I went to uni, all the normal things.
"this isn't the man i pictured my daughter to be with" "he doesnt fit with out culture" immediately told me all i need to know of why she chose a "bad boy"
@@pdxnikki1 They dont have to set high standard NORMAL standards are more then enough education en not get pregnant before 18 the rest you dont have a say in.
Parents need to stop bringing in families like they do stray animals. If your old enough to make babies your old enough to get a job and get a place to live.
I saw this episode when it first came on and I still say the 19 yr old is marrying his "mother". Not too far apart in years, long brown hair, glasses, children....DUH!! And she is so obviously immature, ignorant and selfish for even THINKING about dating a kid much less marrying him!!! 🤢🤢🤢I wonder where they are now?
The man who I thought was the love of my life left me with 50for physical scars. There’s probably quadruple that mentally. Yes, I defended him wholeheartedly. I could not see the forest for the trees. It took years of counseling and more for me to get through that. It is scary when someone tells you they love you so much that is why they hurt you. Stories of I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t care or I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t care. Fast forward to a 110 pound naked woman jumping out of the Second story of a shower bathroom window and running for her life. That was over 35 years ago. Thankfully, I found the help I needed and learned to love myself and to respect myself. My parents had tried their best to teach me that but it Took therapy for me to get there. Thank goodness for people like you, Dr. Phil. Otherwise, I would be dead.
End it.... my first husband was just like this and it got worse and worse and worse, 9 years later I heard doc Phil say a child would rather come from a broken home than live in a broken home... we always remained friends, we were much better off friends than husband and wife... we are all doing good today... 😀
The first girl, Jessica, should just get engaged, and set a date for at least a year and a half away. If either relapses, that date gets pushed back another year.
I am a cruel to be kind person. Tough love. I knew my son was being abused we could do nothing. He eventually hit rock bottom and we where there for him and supported him off that floor. Hes doing fabulous now. Great outcome from my story.
I was surprised Dr. Phil did not mention the 2 innocent children who would be impacted by the 30 year old mother's irresponsibility and selfishness. She will destroy 3 children's lives. Her 19 year old fiance is a child himself. What a despicable woman
Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children massive tragedy in Georgia they Desperately Need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all...
"Two sickies dont make a welley" my sponser would say this to me my first year sober. I took her advice as I was at the bottom and "Willing to go to any lengths to stay sober" Hardest thing ever but worth it. Ten years sober now. I pray for this couple and I hope they can stay sober.
I would love to see how each "couple"/pair of lovers came out at the end of their treatments. Plus how they may have changed their relationships. I do not have much hope for the first pair, being addicts with very involved, complicated histories. I think they will need years of serious treatment. The second so-called-couple are in that same boat -- neither of them will make meaningful changes in a brief time. They are locked into their immaturity and will take years of intense therapy to mature. I hope, in both cases, I am wrong. 🤨🤨🤨
Hmm, for that first couple I'm actually finding myself disagreeing with Dr. Phil. In probably 99 out of 100 cases of people who are both addicted who are trying to get sober I believe the advice is right that the couple need to separate first and get clean. Even if they don't mean it, they can be triggers for each other, and it can be WAY harder to get clean when basically if either one of them falls off the wagon the other one risks falling off the wagon, too. Getting sober alone is hard, but getting sober with another addict can be almost impossible even with the best of intentions. This is especially true if one member of the couple got the other person into drugs or got them deeper into drugs than they were before the relationship. I also agree that while 60 days of sobriety should be commended and can be hard, it certainly isn't enough for anyone to say they are out of the woods and are ready to start taking on major responsibilities such as getting married or having kids when the extra stress of the extra responsibilities might easily be the thing that pushes them over the edge. However, on the flip side it is very clear that at least for the girl the ONLY reason she is even trying to get sober and is going to school, etc. is because he is encouraging her to do so. It's possible he might stand a better chance of getting sober on his own, but I don't believe for a second she has any chance of getting sober without him. She told her parents to their faces that she felt judged and not supported on her road to sobriety, and they didn't say one thing to change that. They didn't apologize for not being there or for the fact that she feels that way. They didn't say that they loved her. They didn't say anything about being proud of the accomplishments she has made in spite of the long, hard road she has fought to get to where she is. In other words, they are clearly extremely emotionally disconnected from her and quite frankly care more about controlling her and probably more about being perfect on paper than they actually care about her. They are those typical mentors that DESTROY addicts on their way to recovery, because in order for an addict to recover they need to be praised when they are making progress, not condemned every time they slip up in any way and prove they didn't manage to become perfect overnight. An addicted boyfriend who encourages her and makes her feel loved and worthy is going to be much better than an entire family that basically has made it clear they won't support her or love her unless she is perfect, but they will happily condemn her and try to control her every move any time she does something they don't approve of. Without her boyfriend in her life to neutralize their toxicity, I doubt she stands a chance. Maybe if she were a bit further on she could survive him leaving, but she is too vulnerable to face life and her family without a single person to give her encouragement or love.
That girl is definitely on something during this show, her eyes are all over the place she looks like she’s going to fall asleep. Lookin sideways at Dr. Phil, her eyes are dodging back and forth like she can’t keep focus. Very sad for the parents, more heartache to come. She’s addicted to him and I am guessing he was her supplier.
If she did meth 2 months ago, he did meth 2 months ago. Last couple, no job living with parents...wow. My husband and i met at work. We dated 2 months and got married. We would still be married if he hadnt past.
Why on earth are people in the audience laughing at 60 days sober? 24 hours is a miracle when you are in active addiction. Heck sometimes it is a minute by minute struggle. Jesus Christ is the solution. For any and all addictions.
I know these days, everybody and their dog is "on the spectrum". But THIS dude, Jerry, is definitely....on the spectrum. And Dr. Phil knows it. You can tell by the questions he's asking.
My girl and I are recovering addicts, we were using during the same time and same town but never together. It has taken us almost two years to prove to everyone that we have good intentions and yet they still assume the worse.
I got married at 20 to a 33 year old guy with 3 kids., we had two more... Thought I was ready.....NOT!!!!!!!! We are still married 48 1/2 years later, but its been rough......Would do it again, but having kids makes it hard.....
19 yo guy and 30yo women???? That is so wrong for him! He is young and immature and knows nothing about marriage life, older woman and children. Life is so tough already for him with no school done , house and job.
He’s immature n that lady is taking advantage of Him She’s very selfish to not let him live his life. N u can tell his not mature even for a 19 yr old. It’s very odd
This dude shouldn't be in a relationship. First step get clean one year later get a cactus and see if you can keep it alive. 6 moths later the next step is to get a potted plant that is a little bit more difficult to keep alive. Then 6 months after that you have graduated to maybe getting a goldfish. You can not expect someone like this to be empathetic with a significant other. Like this dude is in no shape to be in a relationship.
Unfortunately that was the opposite of what I went through! I got clean and iv been clean for 5 years after I got away from the toxic NA AND AA meetings around my area!! It was nothing but a toxic environment where everyone glorified what and how much they can do drug wise and it was nothing but drama!!
@perfectlyimperfect9129 Wow, sorry it was a bad experience. It worked for me with a small group, less than a dozen. 36 years. No more meetings, nothing since I moved 28 years ago
18:09 I totally disagree with this. She is telling you she is clean with him, she’s uses when she’s not. I feel her love for this man and her pain for her mother. I don’t think separation is the right thing to do. It is possible to get clean together, especially if you BOTH want it and are taking the steps. I’ve seen it, done it. It is possible.
Her family is NO better than he is!! She has the same issues as he does. Once a addict always an addict and they need to work everyday to stay clean and move forward .My husband and I both got clean and have been for 5 years and work every single day to stay that way so I know. 7:35 Jumping someone MOM is not ok 9:10 Recovery is a life long journey and it will be for her daughter as well. She's not better than him. 9:39 Nothing FUNNY about having clean time!! 13:29 Brother is lieing on tv.he doesn't care about Matt or wish him the best or he wouldn't have jumped him! I don't have a issue with pot! WHATS WRONG WITH WALMART? HER PARENTS THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE 17:30 MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 14 YEARS AND CLEAN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS SO YES IT CAN HAPPEN!
TH-cam isn't letting me comment unless I comment on someone's else's comment. I just want to say that waiting for serious relationships after getting sober is a great idea. I wish I had had someone encouraging me to do that. I got sober, pregnant, and married within a year and a half. If I had gotten sober and thought rationally about our relationship, I would have never married him and had a child together.
The last couple with the 30 year old female, she seems extremely controlling, manipulative, and trying her best to snatch this 19 year old guy before he has the chance to know her and anything of else of standards and values including who he is himself. Bad, BAD decision!
Oh good grief. Both of these couples...yikes! I hope they stay away from each other for 3 months as Dr. Phil suggests. The second couple is a complete train wreck. That dude looks and sounds like he has issues - something very dark about him, besides being very childish and immature. That 30 yr woman seems conniving and manipulative and doesn't seem to be trusted. Her demeanor makes me think she's only agreeing bc she's on camera. I wonder if they went ahead and got married anyway as they planned. Imo, two nuts. I wonder what his parents think. Smh.
It it never ceases to amaze me when parents criticize their own adult children for not having developed enough self-esteem or self-control or whatever it is that the parents failed to instill in them , failed to guide them into those qualities from their earliest childhood on!!!!!
Watch more Dr. Phil full episodes: th-cam.com/play/PL2h7Wy4Xi82h8XXlkWoksfLIu0wb8r8IX.html
That 2nd woman is a predator and a bully who wants a baby sitter.
100% he seems like he might be a bit special as well.
Heavy on the predator
She is implying that she groomed him. It is disgusting.
@@lilnuggetheadd theyre both special. Thats why imo..this will work out. He will get laid, and if we see him submissive NOW... she will rule as queen
I tried tooting my horn about a similar relationship not exactly the same but very similar rushing never helps anyone life has to be planned and thought out but often times it's not...
By the end of the episode Matt genuinely seemed so receptive. It totally makes sense for them to get sober individually first and I wish them the best!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt that way. Despite the inauspicious circumstances, I'm kind of rooting for them. I do hope they took his advice and gave it 90 days. I hope they have themselves and their relationship a real chance for success. I wish the both of them well.
Nope. I think it just shows his insufferable WEAKNESS!!! 🤔😐🤨
We'll be right back
They saying "sure" cause he kept pushing I bet they dont go through with it after the show .
YET, THEY MARRIED AND ARE PERFECT AS GOD DECLARED FROM THE BEGINNING!
Sh*t, I am an addict in recovery with 11 years. It took my mind 8 months for it to BEGIN to clear.
That is wonderful. Congratulations, I'm proud of your hard work❤❤ My son just celebrated 2.5 years my son in law 19 months . Keep up the great work . Much ❤️
Amen
Every addict is different. Every HUMAN is different……in some way. The way we think, move, say, “feel” (active users do not “feel”; they can’t) so I’ll say our emotions, the way we live……each of our recoveries is different.
God Bless you on your well-lit path, allow your faith and strength keep you on that path!!
11 years is amazing congrats!!
11 years is amazing. And I believe you are right that it takes time to clear your head before you can start to recover. And to have two addicts together. Who are not in full recovery a long time can’t be healthy
I was in a relationship like this and thanks to my parents I could brake free. I pray for this family
Break
@@helgaderm8439get a life
🤣🤣🤣😅😆😂@@helgaderm8439
Which relationship are u referencing?
@@helgaderm8439I hate grammar Nazis. Congratulations
Lmao 30 yr old woman has two children and now wants to wait until marriage to sleep with this teenager.
How HILARIOUS and absurd!
She's lying anyway. She's a predator and groomed that teenager.
Omg I was thinking the exact same thing.. now she wants to be honorable
.. this whole situation is soooooo wrong
@@Bacardi-D It’s absolutely ridiculous and she’s full of 💩
U r being judgemental. What do u know? Nothing
I think we know that a 30 yr old woman is SLEEPING with a teenager .
I always say, “You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself first” and it really applies to the Jessica-Matt situation
This 30 year old woman with 2 kids... it's living with her 18 year old's husband parents? That's so gross. And when they first met he was 16, under the age of legal consent. Disgusting
This girl looks high, look at her eyes...
@@jeaniegrothause5824damn thought the same!
Ridiculous and disrespectful.
They don't mind though do they
I wish we could get updates on these cases
me too! sometimes on reddit there's some info from ppl who are acquainted with the guests... I'd love to know what happened with jerry and jessica
Yes, I would love some "follow up" episodes of the end results...
@@angieosborne9919 just to see if Dr Phil actually works lol
@shelleyburslem3802 lol yep! And if so, to see if they actually tried and listened 😂
We met at a meth house, he's abusive and controlling, why don't my parents love him?!
The second couple is a nightmare, she wants a place to live with her kids that she doesn't have to pay, she is a user!
Like a cuckoo bird. A parasite 😮
Bowl weevil looking for a home.
@@bonnielundy511 🤣perfect description
Young guy has no clue being with two kids very immature
The second woman is a predator , it’s so scary that woman like this take advantage of young boys and he looks like he is developmentally behind
I actually feel it the other way around. I think he is with her for her kids. He’s the one who looks like a weirdo and a predator to me not her. She’s just desperate.
@@RoseRose-hp4rq I read that 12years after this aired he was arrested for child molestation. IDK if it was against her children or not though...
The last couple, she has a teenager mentality with two kids and the guy is a teenager himself at 19. Hwr mental age seems to be even younger than his. I see chaos. God bless those children.
That second call it off story. His girlfriend looks like his sister or sibling.
Exactly what I thought.Shewants a place to live,with her kids.I wonder what his parents think about it.
If I was his parent I would never in a million years move this weird woman and her kids into my home.
Jerry seems to either be on the spectrum or the most nervous person on the planet. His constant repetitive moment, the way he has to make eye contact by constantly staring rather than normally glancing away as most people do, how incredibly soft-spoken he is with very little emotion, inflection, etc., even when he should be angry, hurt, or upset... That could very well be why he thinks this...relationship...is a good idea.
So does Jessica, she doesn't seem all there
Maybe they are both on the Autism Spectrum?....which means her children could be too...(I have studied a lot about ASD, and I have several friends on the Spectrum..some of them are couples, & have been married for over 40 years!).
I think back to the 1930s & 40s...no-one would be questioning someone getting married at 19...and an eleven year age difference really isn't a big deal...I'm sure id they age difference was reversed..ie: the man was 30...I don't think anyone would bat an eyelid!
Sometimes you just know when someone's the one, & if they ARE on the Autism Spectrum, they will need support , & understanding from the Parents anyway...throughout their whole life.
Yes they need pre-marital counselling..but it seems they are both very committed to each other, and committed to making it work...that goes for both couples...I wish them all the very best.
So glad Dr Phil is getting them support....but we could have done without the shaming comments!
@@jo-annahicks3324💯👍🏼💯👍🏼
He ended up being convicted of child molestation 12 years after this. Not sure if it was one of the woman in this story's kids or someone else's.
@@nervecentremedia2257who, Jerry or the addict?
That 30 yo woman is beyond creepy. That poor 19 yo is ensnared.
🤮
I agree, but hes creepy too.
The young lady looks like she used the day before coming to the show. Her eyes are swimming around in her head every time she blinks and she is blinking slowly.
That can be from drugs, but it can also be from a trauma response.
She and Matt deserve each other. She’ll never listen to her parents and will be defiant all along. Let them get married because they’ll end up divorced and she will go back home.
@@carolinasones1541 💯% true.
@@carolinasones1541 GOD BEGS TO DIFFER!
Are you aware antidepressants and psychiatric drugs have the same affect on the eyes.Research
Also psych drugs were originally made to control large animals...then they started on people ...disgusting
I find it creepy that Jessica looks very similar to his sister.
If the first girl started using at 12, the issue is with her parents first and foremost. Long before this guy came around.
Would she have taken advice when younger. I doubt it
20:30 people don't realize that the age difference between 19 and 25 is not 6 years. They're worlds apart. You're a completely different person at 18 or 19 than 25 or even 21 years old!
Where there's violence, there's no negotiation.
💯 %
19 year old Jerry is Very immature and honestly so is the 30 year old woman. But he will grow up one day and regret this decision!!
Those poor kids with an incompetent mom I hope they do NOT get married!! Give the 19 year old time to go to college, do the bar thing with friends and let him grow up……. It’s infuriating that she is trying to trap this young man into this thing called a marriage.
The second story was far too creepy for me....
@@EvilAzn3000 Me too. Creepy kid & even creepier weirdo woman+kids. A set up for a really good scary movie
There’s something wrong with that Jerry guy, and the “finance” is a predator
Jerry eyes are evil creepy like he could be cruel. And bet after there married they announce a baby on it way that’s prob why the hurry to marry.
Absolutely
Jerry to me seems very immature to me, also may have underlining intellectual or mental issues
Fiancé, when referring to the man, and fiancée for the woman. It's french, and you usually add an extra 'e' to denote the feminine. Bonne journée!
@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 it’s so cute it says finance 😊😊
The first case: The daughter is not happy with what Dr Phil is saying... her eyes are bullets... she is not used to hearing no.
And in the end, THEY STAYED TOGETHER AS GOD DECLARED FROM THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD!
😂@@SantanaCampbell
Right. You can tell she's stubborn
I feel like there's something genuinely wrong with Jerry. He's been very hurt by his family for a start.
The issue is the mentality of the 30 year old.......shes the so called adult. Shes not right up top!
He seems to be on the spectrum
I no
I'd love to know what happened with these couples....especially the 2nd couple getting married in a week. No job, no driver's license, no home, and just graduating from high school...after dating a few weeks. INSANITY!
Absolute fools. Destined for exciting careers in the fast food industry! Whoop-dee-dooo! They both need marketable skills but it doesn't look like they have any interest, energy, determination to make something of themselves. PLAN FOR YOUR FUTURE!!! PLAN and put off marriage until you have all your ducks in a row. No way is this boy ready for marriage. He has no interest in what that entails. No self-awareness even. Both need to train in skills to make a living -- AC, plumbing, cosmetology, college, etc. Get those certificates and credentials. Put off marriage while you get your first job, gain experience and begin to work your way up to better and better jobs that pay more and more. Each of you bank $10k, have a paid off car even if it is a junker, have that job, stay substance free. I can see their home life becoming stressed virtually immediately, and someone will end up abusing someone else just because they have not planned one bit, no money coming in, welfare checks, no car, no license. You have to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN and put off marriage for a day when EACH of you can earn your own independent living. THEN if you still love one another join forces and marry. Otherwise you will absolutely fail and get divorced. Because you failed to get marital counseling, had no interest in understanding the other person, much less yourself, and failed to plan and prepare. Take it from me, married nearly 50 years. Marriage is HARD!! You need all the preparation you can GET!
The way he speaks sounds similar to the way many schizophrenics speak
The way he was crying while talking about his family you can see the immaturity
I wish Dr phil would have delved into why Jerry feels so ostracized from his family in the first place.
Jerry is frightening... something isn't right with him. He has dead eyes.... theres nothing behind them..😮 anyone else agree?
Yes - I don’t think he’s on the spectrum, I think it’s darker than that. I think he’s psychopathic.
I totally agree! He’s so angry at his family I’m curious what happened to make him seem dumb and menacing at the same time.
@@nancymorris995yes, there's definitely some kind of emotional trauma there, and possibly other things as well. 😢
His body language too. He's slumped over, sort of hanging his head and hardly articulating his speech.
I think he is on the spectrum. He doesn't think he will find anyone else
Lord that addiction is a slippery slope to misery
you are so right my friend. My mother had a bad opiate addiction. She would cry to me every night about how she wanted to stop and couldn't.
@@rleonekc07 Oh, that's terrible. I'm sorry for your troubles.
Once in recovery, always in recovery. But when one breaks sobriety, one must START over again.
It’s never a good idea for two people who are addicts to attempt to attempt to have a relationship.
I disagree.
Some can achieve success in their relationships, as long as they are willing to stand on their own feet and be responsible for the process. ❤️
I know many who have done well together, and I have friends whom I met fairly recently, who have both just completed rehab separately. They were addicts together now they are clean and sober together and doing incredibly well. 😊
He's working hard as he's been out of rehab several weeks ahead of her, and she is also now in a very good place to get a job as well.
I do agree though that it is a huge challenge, and probably rare rather than common, for these type of relationships to be truly authentic and successful.
Part of the story is each being willing to follow rehab up with individual counselling to deal with the trauma that originally led to the addiction to begin with. This is necessary for any addict to be able to remain clean. ❤️
My friends are also committed to this process and I'm so proud of them. 🙆🏻♀️ 😊 🌿
That 2nd couple: the way that she said that she'd loved him longer than 2 weeks is giving straight up groomer vibes.
@@rurukachu1 I SO AGREEEEEE. the British slang for her is "nonce" ie pedofile 😡
She doesn’t look sober on stage even 😢
poor thing doesnt look like she's slept in days. i wonder if that's why
No she don't
What does a 30 year old want with with a 19 year old? Gross. I am in my 30s to me a 19 year old maybe a legal adult but I look at them as kids still. They can’t provide me with anything but drama and problems.
It’s because she’s emotionally immature and has nothing to bring him but drama and problems. They are perfect fit, and the worst sort of way.
If the ages reversed, what would be your thoughts? young lady and an older gentleman?
@@VijayaBjoshi my thought would still be the same. What does a men 10+ years older want with a 19 year old? When I was in my early 20s I dated a guy 11 years older I thought I was grown and mature, but I was being groomed and taken advantage of. Once you got 30 it’s fine to date someone 10+ years older. At that time you have had life experiences and are fully mature and won’t take BS like you would when you were younger
@@pinkpearlxPlease don't use the word groomed just because you think it's the hip new word to use. You were not groomed in your 20s to be with a guy in his 30s. You made a foolish choice to be with them, that's completely different. And while I certainly agree that the woman with 2 kids and her fiancee are both way too immature to even think about getting married, I completely disagree with your logic of 30+ year olds dating below 30 is gross. If you choose to look at 19 and 21 and 24 year olds and see children then that's not a problem with the 30 year old trying to date them, that's a problem with you
@@p.v.7269 😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jerry looks like an up and coming serial killer, and she looks like the person who will find his victims.
Omg! I was thinking the same thing...he has that Bundy look....he is so full of anger!
Agreed...... ultra bad vibes
Why is this comment so on point omg 😮
Something is definitely wrong with him
It seems like Jerry has some cognitive difficulty...she's definitely taking advantage of him
Jessica, you cannot fix anyone. When a person is newly in recovery that person should not ever start a relationship for atleast 1 to 2 years. Focus on recovery not a relationship.
I was on drugs for a few years, but when I met my husband I got clean. His love saved me. But he never new I has a history, so I never felt I had judgment or distrust. We had a great relationship but he passed away now. Its been 30+ years since we met. We had a family, I went to uni, all the normal things.
MINIMUM of a year in continuous sobriety & active recovery before any relationship unless you're MARRIED.
"this isn't the man i pictured my daughter to be with" "he doesnt fit with out culture" immediately told me all i need to know of why she chose a "bad boy"
Yes, but She was on drugs same as him
She is a meth addict. I don’t think anyone that would “fit” would want to be with a meth addict
Parents have a duty to set high standards for their children. Rebellion shows they don't care about their family & only about themselves.
But her being the same brand of bad....
@@pdxnikki1 They dont have to set high standard NORMAL standards are more then enough education en not get pregnant before 18 the rest you dont have a say in.
Jerry’s parents should of never let her move in especially having two kids of her own
As a recovering addict myself, you know the EXACT number of days you’ve been sober. They are still using. Sucks.
Um, no, they both said they've been sober for like 2 months
Yep! The fact he had to think of the answer spoke volumes.
But she told her mom,she was clean for a year, not 60 days
@@audreym3777not true. They are on tv and under pressure. I would be the same way having to think about it.
She is living with him and his parents. They are enabling this crazy relationship.
And why did she move in so quickly? Where was she living before? So odd?
The parents are making a big mistake having her in their home
Parents need to stop bringing in families like they do stray animals. If your old enough to make babies your old enough to get a job and get a place to live.
I saw this episode when it first came on and I still say the 19 yr old is marrying his "mother". Not too far apart in years, long brown hair, glasses, children....DUH!! And she is so obviously immature, ignorant and selfish for even THINKING about dating a kid much less marrying him!!! 🤢🤢🤢I wonder where they are now?
The man who I thought was the love of my life left me with 50for physical scars. There’s probably quadruple that mentally. Yes, I defended him wholeheartedly. I could not see the forest for the trees. It took years of counseling and more for me to get through that. It is scary when someone tells you they love you so much that is why they hurt you. Stories of I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t care or I wouldn’t do that if I didn’t care. Fast forward to a 110 pound naked woman jumping out of the Second story of a shower bathroom window and running for her life. That was over 35 years ago. Thankfully, I found the help I needed and learned to love myself and to respect myself. My parents had tried their best to teach me that but it Took therapy for me to get there. Thank goodness for people like you, Dr. Phil. Otherwise, I would be dead.
Run ! My daughter eventually ran…after she was incredibly hurt, thank god they didn’t have children. She is trauma bonded !
Every parent’s nightmare. We met in a meth house and we are in love.
Definitely mine I have an only child who is a 10 year old daughter I pray I never hear those words
Ouch
Mi imlaws said we would never make it a year, we just celebrated our 34th anniversary and have always been together.😊
End it.... my first husband was just like this and it got worse and worse and worse, 9 years later I heard doc Phil say a child would rather come from a broken home than live in a broken home... we always remained friends, we were much better off friends than husband and wife... we are all doing good today... 😀
Good job Dr. Phil.
Jerry is simply turning to a mother-figure and/or older sister figure; he spoke of his sister with such hostility. I wonder where they are today……
Abuse is a hard thing to break away from.
Jerrys eyes are so scary..
The first girl, Jessica, should just get engaged, and set a date for at least a year and a half away. If either relapses, that date gets pushed back another year.
Matt is creepy looking. Run Jessica, don't walk!
I am a cruel to be kind person. Tough love. I knew my son was being abused we could do nothing. He eventually hit rock bottom and we where there for him and supported him off that floor. Hes doing fabulous now. Great outcome from my story.
I was surprised Dr. Phil did not mention the 2 innocent children who would be impacted by the 30 year old mother's irresponsibility and selfishness. She will destroy 3 children's lives. Her 19 year old fiance is a child himself. What a despicable woman
A broken and depressed person cannot mend another broken and depressed person.
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🙏 Prayers
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Absolutely horrific.
Ban firearms would be more positive..@@MrsxHarrington
jerry is on the spectrum😢
Ooh I don’t know, I thought that at first bu the more I watched it the more he seemed antisocial/psychopathic! 👀
"Two sickies dont make a welley" my sponser would say this to me my first year sober. I took her advice as I was at the bottom and "Willing to go to any lengths to stay sober" Hardest thing ever but worth it. Ten years sober now. I pray for this couple and I hope they can stay sober.
I would love to see how each "couple"/pair of lovers came out at the end of their treatments. Plus how they may have changed their relationships. I do not have much hope for the first pair, being addicts with very involved, complicated histories. I think they will need years of serious treatment. The second so-called-couple are in that same boat -- neither of them will make meaningful changes in a brief time. They are locked into their immaturity and will take years of intense therapy to mature. I hope, in both cases, I am wrong. 🤨🤨🤨
Hmm, for that first couple I'm actually finding myself disagreeing with Dr. Phil. In probably 99 out of 100 cases of people who are both addicted who are trying to get sober I believe the advice is right that the couple need to separate first and get clean. Even if they don't mean it, they can be triggers for each other, and it can be WAY harder to get clean when basically if either one of them falls off the wagon the other one risks falling off the wagon, too. Getting sober alone is hard, but getting sober with another addict can be almost impossible even with the best of intentions. This is especially true if one member of the couple got the other person into drugs or got them deeper into drugs than they were before the relationship. I also agree that while 60 days of sobriety should be commended and can be hard, it certainly isn't enough for anyone to say they are out of the woods and are ready to start taking on major responsibilities such as getting married or having kids when the extra stress of the extra responsibilities might easily be the thing that pushes them over the edge.
However, on the flip side it is very clear that at least for the girl the ONLY reason she is even trying to get sober and is going to school, etc. is because he is encouraging her to do so. It's possible he might stand a better chance of getting sober on his own, but I don't believe for a second she has any chance of getting sober without him. She told her parents to their faces that she felt judged and not supported on her road to sobriety, and they didn't say one thing to change that. They didn't apologize for not being there or for the fact that she feels that way. They didn't say that they loved her. They didn't say anything about being proud of the accomplishments she has made in spite of the long, hard road she has fought to get to where she is. In other words, they are clearly extremely emotionally disconnected from her and quite frankly care more about controlling her and probably more about being perfect on paper than they actually care about her. They are those typical mentors that DESTROY addicts on their way to recovery, because in order for an addict to recover they need to be praised when they are making progress, not condemned every time they slip up in any way and prove they didn't manage to become perfect overnight. An addicted boyfriend who encourages her and makes her feel loved and worthy is going to be much better than an entire family that basically has made it clear they won't support her or love her unless she is perfect, but they will happily condemn her and try to control her every move any time she does something they don't approve of. Without her boyfriend in her life to neutralize their toxicity, I doubt she stands a chance. Maybe if she were a bit further on she could survive him leaving, but she is too vulnerable to face life and her family without a single person to give her encouragement or love.
That girl is definitely on something during this show, her eyes are all over the place she looks like she’s going to fall asleep. Lookin sideways at Dr. Phil, her eyes are dodging back and forth like she can’t keep focus. Very sad for the parents, more heartache to come. She’s addicted to him and I am guessing he was her supplier.
Is there a resemblance between the sister and girlfriend “fiancé” or WHATEVA??😢👀
That predator is disgusting. That POOR family. How DARE she take over their home and lives. A dangerous parasite 😮
If they are slow AF, at least their parents shouldn’t let them move in with them
If she did meth 2 months ago, he did meth 2 months ago.
Last couple, no job living with parents...wow.
My husband and i met at work. We dated 2 months and got married.
We would still be married if he hadnt past.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you found the true meaning of love and carry that. ♥️
He’s a TEENAGER! He is not working? She wants a babysitter.
Why on earth are people in the audience laughing at 60 days sober? 24 hours is a miracle when you are in active addiction. Heck sometimes it is a minute by minute struggle. Jesus Christ is the solution. For any and all addictions.
Oh great!
Another religious freak...🙄
Love watching these now and looking up where the guest ended up yrs after the show. Its like having a time machine lolol
I know these days, everybody and their dog is "on the spectrum". But THIS dude, Jerry, is definitely....on the spectrum. And Dr. Phil knows it. You can tell by the questions he's asking.
Dr Phil “how am I doing mom?” Mom “bring it on“ Dr Phil “I didn’t ask ya all, I just call em like I see em” Wtf lol
Did he ever hit her after his beat down?
That’s a great question!
I do believe that her brother and his friends truly beat him up.And the mom saying that he lied in court.
@@RoselandeBazelais-hn5rh I don't want to promote violence, but I do understand their motives
If the 19 year old boyיs parents were not willing to let them live with them, then they would have to take responsibility for their.
I'd like to know how it turned. About the 19 & 30yr.old. Did they merry & if they are still together.
My girl and I are recovering addicts, we were using during the same time and same town but never together. It has taken us almost two years to prove to everyone that we have good intentions and yet they still assume the worse.
amen Dr Phil you tell it to him that's exactly what they needthey can't stay together like that
I'm gonna need an update on that last couple Immediately.
Not promising, both use or used. I’m not saying they can’t stay sober but it’s a tough road.
I got married at 20 to a 33 year old guy with 3 kids., we had two more... Thought I was ready.....NOT!!!!!!!! We are still married 48 1/2 years later, but its been rough......Would do it again, but having kids makes it hard.....
I appreciate the honesty. I think if you are getting into a marriage without any concerns you aren't ready for matrimony
19 yo guy and 30yo women???? That is so wrong for him! He is young and immature and knows nothing about marriage life, older woman and children. Life is so tough already for him with no school done , house and job.
He’s immature n that lady is taking advantage of Him
She’s very selfish to not let him live his life. N u can tell his not mature even for a 19 yr old.
It’s very odd
Jerry is just a baggage of emotion and they’re never mature 🤦
This dude shouldn't be in a relationship. First step get clean one year later get a cactus and see if you can keep it alive. 6 moths later the next step is to get a potted plant that is a little bit more difficult to keep alive. Then 6 months after that you have graduated to maybe getting a goldfish. You can not expect someone like this to be empathetic with a significant other. Like this dude is in no shape to be in a relationship.
I hope all of these children get the help and counseling they need. 90 meetings in 90 days is that way because it works.
Unfortunately that was the opposite of what I went through! I got clean and iv been clean for 5 years after I got away from the toxic NA AND AA meetings around my area!! It was nothing but a toxic environment where everyone glorified what and how much they can do drug wise and it was nothing but drama!!
@perfectlyimperfect9129 Wow, sorry it was a bad experience. It worked for me with a small group, less than a dozen. 36 years. No more meetings, nothing since I moved 28 years ago
18:09 I totally disagree with this. She is telling you she is clean with him, she’s uses when she’s not. I feel her love for this man and her pain for her mother. I don’t think separation is the right thing to do. It is possible to get clean together, especially if you BOTH want it and are taking the steps. I’ve seen it, done it. It is possible.
That 19 yr old guy about to be married is so gullible! That 30 yr old woman is a free loader and has no shame!!
26:31 she just wants free room and board
Insane episode
Her family is NO better than he is!! She has the same issues as he does. Once a addict always an addict and they need to work everyday to stay clean and move forward .My husband and I both got clean and have been for 5 years and work every single day to stay that way so I know. 7:35 Jumping someone MOM is not ok 9:10 Recovery is a life long journey and it will be for her daughter as well. She's not better than him. 9:39 Nothing FUNNY about having clean time!! 13:29 Brother is lieing on tv.he doesn't care about Matt or wish him the best or he wouldn't have jumped him! I don't have a issue with pot! WHATS WRONG WITH WALMART? HER PARENTS THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE 17:30 MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 14 YEARS AND CLEAN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS SO YES IT CAN HAPPEN!
That was a different brother to the one that bashed Matt...his name was Matt too.
Hallelujah Dr phil
I wish Dr. Phil would do updates on these old episodes. We all want to know what happened with these couples!
TH-cam isn't letting me comment unless I comment on someone's else's comment. I just want to say that waiting for serious relationships after getting sober is a great idea. I wish I had had someone encouraging me to do that. I got sober, pregnant, and married within a year and a half. If I had gotten sober and thought rationally about our relationship, I would have never married him and had a child together.
God will order his angels to protect you wherever you go praise God praying for everyone Everyday God bless you all...
THANK YOU so much. I really needed to hear that right now. 🪼
@@rhondamoon3886. Me too. Just diagnosed with cancer, I need extra praying from everyone. 🫶🏻🙏🏼🫶🏻
Rightttttt
You just saved me a trip to church.
Thank you very much. May GOD BLESS you and yours 🙏
❤ good episode 🎉
The last couple with the 30 year old female, she seems extremely controlling, manipulative, and trying her best to snatch this 19 year old guy before he has the chance to know her and anything of else of standards and values including who he is himself. Bad, BAD decision!
Oh good grief. Both of these couples...yikes!
I hope they stay away from each other for 3 months as Dr. Phil suggests.
The second couple is a complete train wreck. That dude looks and sounds like he has issues - something very dark about him, besides being very childish and immature. That 30 yr woman seems conniving and manipulative and doesn't seem to be trusted. Her demeanor makes me think she's only agreeing bc she's on camera. I wonder if they went ahead and got married anyway as they planned. Imo, two nuts. I wonder what his parents think. Smh.
29:07 to teach that to all young people would be a blessing
I’m rooting for the first couple. They both have demons, I hope that they will overcome it. ❤
It it never ceases to amaze me when parents criticize their own adult children for not having developed enough self-esteem or self-control or whatever it is that the parents failed to instill in them , failed to guide them into those qualities from their earliest childhood on!!!!!